June 09, 2020

Mental Health Struggles

After several months of having a very stable mood, I've gotten really emotional lately--up and down much more frequently. Usually, a hypomanic state can last for months for me; the same with depression. Lately, however, my mood has been shifting so much--sometimes within a single day.

Sometimes I think I'm hypomanic, feeling fantastic, only to feel legitimately depressed just a day later. I was supposed to see my psychiatrist last month, but with the quarantine, he wasn't seeing patients. So, I have an appointment in a couple of weeks, and I can talk to him about it then.

Even with bipolar medications, it's typical for people with bipolar to have periods of hypomania and depression--just not as severe or as frequent. And that's been accurate for me ever since I was diagnosed and started the meds in 2017.

I haven't been feeling the major extremes of either emotion, but I'm definitely noticing the abnormal ups and downs. Not knowing what kind of mood I'm going to be in, and switching from laughing to crying within a single conversation, is pretty exhausting.

Also, I had my anxiety under control for a long time (still feeling it--it'll never go away completely-- but nothing like I used to). However, the last week or so it has gotten bad again. Today was the worst. My chest felt tight, and I had a horrible lump in my throat (that always happens when I have anxiety). I felt very restless but unproductive at the same time.

I even took some of my anxiety meds that I hate taking because they make me gain weight. (I'm instructed to take them as needed, not as part of a daily regime.) But the anxiety was so bad that I didn't care. (Why does it seem like all mood disorder medications cause weight gain?!)

I'm hoping it's just been a rough patch that will go away soon. Now that the quarantine is slowly being lifted, I have to once again change my daily routine, and I think that might be what is causing the issues with my mood.

On a positive note, I finished hanging the drywall in the garage yesterday! It was such a relief to finally get that done. The whole garage is now insulated and drywalled (including the ceiling). It doesn't look good right now, because I still have to tape and mud all the seams, but I'll take some pictures anyway.

It's amazing how much of a difference the insulation and drywall makes in the overall temperature in the garage. It doesn't feel hot and stuffy in there anymore. I am super excited to get the mudding done so that I can prime and then paint!

I'm planning to start taping and mudding tomorrow. It's super intimidating because there are a LOT of seams! I haven't mudded the seams of a ceiling before, so I hope I'm able to do a good job with it. I'm a pro at doing the seams where the wall meets the ceiling, because I did that around my entire house.

I'll end this post with a super cute photo I took of Joey, Chick, and Duck today. Joey's such a good dog! ;)


  1. Hi Katie, I watched fat to finish line for the first time the other day, and remember you mentioning your blog so just thought I'd say hello and thanks for being an inspiration to people like me, keep up the good work and take care.

  2. Don't you love how much pets LOVE TO SLEEP! My two dogs go for a short walk, then want to take a nap right away. The three of them chillin in that picture are the happiest most content and lucky. Love how you support pet rescues, we do too. They need our help and it's the best therapy for us. Thank you for spreading the word about adopting wonderful pets that need homes so bad!

  3. Funny you posted this today. I'm feeling the same exact way.I need to go back into my school today to clean up and close our rooms and I'm so anxious about going outside, being around people and changing my at home routine. During COVID, I have rarely gone out of my apt at all. So I'm sure that's a huge part of it. I just hate how it gets in the way of doing things and drains me. Thanks for the post, it's nice to know I'm not the only one feeling this way.

  4. Thanks for always being your authentic, true self. I love how you share your reality, no filter. It helps those of us who also struggle not feel so alone.

  5. Your vacuum is going to get quite the work out with all of that black fur! Hehe!


I used to publish ALL comments (even the mean ones) but I recently chose not to publish those. I always welcome constructive comments/criticism, but there is no need for unnecessary rudeness/hate. But please--I love reading what you have to say! (This comment form is super finicky, so I apologize if you're unable to comment)

Featured Posts

Blog Archive