June 20, 2020

Happy Summer Solstice Day!

I can't thank you enough for the kind and empathetic comments on my last post. I was miserable yesterday and just felt full of self-hatred. I can't say that I'm feeling much better today, but at least I don't have to try on clothes.

I was able to squeeze into a pair of size 12 black pants this morning for the funeral. I wore a very loose top so it would hide my muffin top!

At the funeral, I stepped WAY out of my comfort zone. First, to backtrack...

Eli is a very shy, introverted empath. He's the sweetest kid ever, but unless you get to know him, it's hard to see that. The problem is, he doesn't put himself out there or try to make friends. I was so happy when he joined his baseball team because I hoped he'd make some close friends. Instead, he still seems more like an outsider.

I talked to his coach about it, and his coach said that his son is the same way, so he understood. Still, I told Eli that I would love for him to start talking to the kids on the team. He knows that I'll let him invite friends over anytime he wants, but he says it would feel awkward because he doesn't know them well.

Anyway, I told him that if he would do something out of his comfort zone (like starting a conversation with someone on his team), that I would do something that makes ME very uncomfortable as well. I gave him some suggestions, and he didn't do them that day, unfortunately. But that brings me to today...

I decided that it was the perfect opportunity to step outside of my comfort zone. As the similar shy, introverted empath that I am, I absolutely HATE public speaking. I hate having the spotlight on me in any way. However, there was a story that I wanted to share about Grandpa Frank at the funeral, so I was debating with myself whether I could do it.

The room was full of people I don't know (I knew a few, but most of them I did not). When the pastor asked if anyone else had something they'd like to share about Frank, I waited in the silence until the last possible second, and then I stood up and said that I would like to share.

I went up to the podium, and speaking into a microphone(!) I told the story about my last memory of Grandpa Frank (I explained it on yesterday's post). I was shaking as I spoke (and trying not to cry because funerals are sad and I felt sad telling the story), but I managed to get through it. And later, several of Frank's family members came up to me to thank me and say that they loved the story.

I'm really glad I was able to shove aside my terror reservations about speaking to a room full of people so that I could tell the story of Grandpa Frank. And as a bonus, I can now tell Eli that I stepped WAY out of my comfort zone so now he owes me ;)

Anyway, as of 5:43 PM today, it's officially summer! Summer is my least favorite season of the year due to the weather (I'm not a fan of the heat, humidity, or sun), but I do like the freedom of not having to drive the kids to and from school. It gives me so much more time!

As I've mentioned several times over the last couple of weeks, today was also the first day of my annual Cookies Summer Run/Walk Challenge (details are on this post). Today's item on the checklist was to run or walk from spring into summer--starting before 5:43 PM (ET) and ending afterward.

Yesterday, I said that I was going to do a run. Well, today I changed my mind and did a walk instead. Since I'm feeling so bad about the shape my body is in right now, I thought that if I went for a run, it would feel extremely difficult and suck all the fun out of it. I realized that I was dreading the solstice run/walk because I was planning to run it; but when I thought about going for a walk, I was looking forward to it.

Selfishly, I did not take Joey with me. I wanted to walk at my own pace and not have to be pulled along by Joey. I just wanted some peaceful time to myself.

I started my walk at 5:15. It was 90℉! I listened to the latest Morbid podcast while I walked. I had planned to take a photo of my Garmin at exactly 5:43 PM to show that I'd walked from spring to summer. However, I got distracted and saw that it was 5:46 before I got the photo. Oh well!

When I got home, I'd walked 2.27 miles in 41:19 (an 18:13/mi pace).

Normally I enjoy walking more than running because it doesn't get you all sweaty and make you have to shower afterward. However, with the heat today, I got very sweaty.

I came inside to take a shower, and when I took of the brand new hot pink sports bra I'd worn, I actually put it in the sink to soak and hopefully get some of the dye out of the fabric. I did this because of what happened the last time I wore a brand new pink bra when I went for a run...

Haha! Still, I won't be wearing a lighter colored shirt over this bra. That was embarrassing. You can't really tell from the picture, but the water definitely turned pink.

I'm probably going to be doing several treadmill walks or runs over the next couple of weeks because it's "fish fly" season. We don't have my in our neighborhood, so I was surprised when I went out to the point of the peninsula, they were AWFUL. Look at this spot on the road... all fish flies!

So gross. But, we deal with them every year for a couple of weeks, so we can manage. I just hope they don't come inside the garage when I work out there (I always open the garage doors for airflow).

I'm sure I'll do another item on the list tomorrow. I haven't planned my checklist calendar out yet, but I really want to complete the list this year!


  1. Bravo for sharing your story at the funeral. You truly added to the guests beautiful memories.

  2. That's great! Love the walk.

  3. I'm so glad you shared your story of Grandpa Frank. We are so alike so I can understand how hard it was. You gave the funeral guests another great memory of him.

  4. I am an introvert as well. I don't like the spotlight on me either. I don't like physical activity until I'm doing it and then I love it when I'm done. I've struggled with my weight all my life. I don't remember a time when when I was considered "thin". Oh wait I do remember, it was about 14 years ago when I practically starved myself to get there and then got so confused on how to maintain I just lost it all and gained it all back. :( I have learned to not let everyone else dictate my feelings and just do what makes me happy. I applaud you for getting up there and speaking about Grandpa Frank. Good job on the walk yesterday. You have to start somewhere and that was a GREAT start

  5. I'm so glad you spoke up at the funeral. I am sure his other family and friends really appreciated your memory.
    And glad you got outside for the walk! Happy solstice!

  6. My husband grew up outside of Detroit, and he and his family would tell me about fish fly season. I never really understood it, though, until I visited one summer right during fish fly season. They really are everywhere and stuck to everything outside and so gross! I also didn't realize that they are really quite large for a "fly"! Yuck.

  7. So glad you're having a better day. Great job on the walk and whoa about the pink bra. Go you!

  8. Very impressive! I could have never done that—Especially with my latest weight regain. My weight really plays havoc with my already almost non-existent self confidence. Well done Katie! Proud of you.


Feel free to leave a comment! I had to turn on comment moderation due to a ton of spam comments, but I will approve your comment ASAP.

Featured Posts

Blog Archive