Atomic Habits: September

I probably should save this for next week, considering September isn't over yet, but I never actually wrote a post about this at the beginning of the month. I really wasn't sure how this was going to play out and I didn't want to make a big deal about it.

I know I've mentioned the book "Atomic Habits" several times already, but that is what prompted this whole "mission" (I'm not sure what to call it; basically, I want to change some habits, both good and bad). The book idea is simple: adding new good habits and breaking bad ones.

However, it is super helpful for figuring out a plan on HOW to do that. (I'm going to add a few Amazon links to products I have; in full disclosure, they are affiliate links which just means that if you should use the link to purchase, then I may get a commission. I'm not trying to push them; they are just products I have and find helpful.)

First, here is a link to the book "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. I listened to the audiobook first, and found it so helpful that I borrowed the Kindle book as well. The audiobook is really well done, if you prefer to listen rather than read. And it's not super long. (Actually, if you sign up for the free Audible "Premium Plus" trial on Amazon, you get to choose a book for free--and you can keep it! Even if you cancel the after the trial. I think that's how I got it.)

Several readers suggested the book Atomic Habits to me years ago, and I bought the audiobook with some Amazon credits I had--I just never got around to listening to it. When I saw the title "Atomic Habits" I immediately thought "huge"--I pictured an atomic bomb! But I learned that it's actually meant to be the complete opposite: "atomic" meaning minuscule, the size of an atom. Atomic habits are tiny little changes that eventually add up to big results.

"Here's how the math works out: if you can get 1 percent better each day for one year, you'll end up thirty-seven times better by the time you're done. Conversely, if you get 1 percent worse each day for one year, you'll decline nearly down to zero."  --James Clear, Atomic Habits

An example that helped me visualize this was to look at calories. If you eat 1% more calories than you burn every day, then you will gain a noticeable amount of weight over the course of a year. But if you eat 1% fewer calories than you burn, you'll lose weight. And either way, the change is so small that you barely notice it on a day to day basis. 

According to Atomic Habits, to build new habits, there are four "laws":

The Four Laws of Behavior Change are a simple set of rules we can use to build better habits. They are (1) make it obvious, (2) make it attractive, (3) make it easy, and (4) make it satisfying.

Each of those has key points that help you make a plan for implementing habits. I won't get into all of them (that's what the book is for), but here are a few that really helped me this month.

1) Make it obvious- I used what Clear calls habit stacking, which is where you follow one habit with another so that the first is basically a cue for the next. (I'll get into my own examples below.)

2) Make it attractive- I didn't make use of this one yet.

3) Make it easy- I used the "Two minute rule" and this was the biggest factor for me this month. The two-minute rule is simple: Downscale habits until they can be done in two minutes or less. (Again, I'll write my own examples below.)

4) Make it satisfying- I chose to use reinforcement, which means to give yourself an immediate reward when you complete your habit. I also chose to use a habit tracker, which is satisfying because you can see the progress on a chart.

First, I'll show you my habit tracker with the items I chose to work on this month:

Prior to reading Atomic Habits, I tried using trackers dozens of times and never got anywhere with them because I didn't make the habits "atomic". For example, I wrote "Read for 2 minutes" this month; two minutes might as well be nothing! Considering the two minute rule, however, the habit is doable. And eventually, the two+ minutes per day will lead to finishing books.

So, yes--this list of habits looks long. However, only a few of them take longer than two minutes. Here is how they played out for me:

1. Run around the block first thing in the morning.

Jerry was getting home from work right as I was getting home from my run, so he took a series of pictures--I'm wearing a headlamp, which is what the red light is from. I think the picture looks kind of cool!

I took any sort of preconceived running goal and threw it out the window. The sole purpose of putting this on my list was to get in the habit of running in the morning. Before reading the book, I would have written "Run 3 miles"--and then I'd procrastinate and quit shortly after. However, I chose "run around the block" because it's SO SHORT and I can be done with it before I even have time to change my mind.

Immediately after waking up, I change into my running clothes. Then I strap on my Garmin and Joey's leash (he LOVES this new running habit, by the way) and we head outside. We run one loop. Around my block is 0.41 miles, which is what we did for the first week. The second week, I decided to circle two blocks because it only adds 0.1 miles, making it a total of 0.52. (However, a couple of times I've only done one block; I don't ever want to hate it, so if I don't feel like doing more, I'm cool with that.)

The run takes a grand total of 4-6 minutes. And since I do it immediately after waking up, I don't even have time to think about it or talk myself out of it before I go. It's been 25 days now and I've run around the block every single morning. Without procrastinating. Without feeling like I should have done more. Without feeling like it doesn't really count because it's "only" half a mile.

I don't have future plans for this. If I want to add more distance later, I will. If I don't, I'm fine with just doing one loop of the block. Doing the 0.52-mile loop every day for a year will add up to 189.8 miles! In the past year (not counting this month), I only ran 54.7 miles total.

I've implemented the "satisfying" part into this habit as well. Right after my run, I make a cup of tea and I do the Wordle and Connections (New York Times puzzle games). I *love* the puzzles and I look forward to doing them, but I only do them after my morning run. It feels like a reward.

2. Take vitamin D and B-12.

This is simple. I had frequently been forgetting to take them or I'd take them at random times each day. However, I use habit stacking to make this a habit. While my tea steeps, I take my vitamin D and B-12--I keep the bottle with my tea bags so that I see it and remember to take it.

3. Drink 64 oz. of water.

I used to aim for a gallon. And I was having such a hard time reaching that! I used to drink that much when I was running a lot of miles, but for the past few years, staying hydrated has been a struggle. So, I changed it to 64 oz.

On Amazon recently, I found some water bottles that we used to have years ago--I loved them, but we lost them at some point. So, I bought two new ones.

(These water bottles are fantastic! They are the size and shape of a standard disposable (16.9 oz) bottle. The plastic is very good quality, and the whole top of the bottle can be removed for cleaning or adding ice. I'm kind of a water bottle hoarder, but these are (hands down!) my very favorite ones. Here is the link to Amazon.)

The goal is to drink four of them throughout the day, so after I drink one, I refill it and put it in the fridge and pull the other one out. I like to add a packet of True Grapefruit (it's not sweetened or anything--it's just a tiny amount of crystalized grapefruit juice). Here is the link to the True Grapefruit on Amazon. I actually wrote a review/giveaway of these WAY back in 2012, and you can find that post here.)

4. Clean kitchen counters before bed.

This is just one little chore that I would always used to put off until morning. I always feel like the house is gross when the counters are dirty, so I just feel better when they are clean before I go to bed. I used habit stacking for this by doing them immediately after dinner.

5. Do 3 back stretches before bed.

After dealing with chronic pain from 2018-2022, my back had gotten SO STIFF. I was kind of stunned recently when I realized just how little flexibility I have. A lot of it is due to a messed up disc that has caused problems for as long as I can remember, but the new chronic pain made me avoid any movement at all that would aggravate it. Anyway, the point is, I want to have some flexibility. And if there is any chance that I can help the disc in my back through exercises/stretching, I am willing to do it.

I used to make a whole list of stretches and vow to do them every day; and then I'd quit after a day or two. This time, I chose the two-minute rule: three back stretches that I learned in physical therapy, done for 30 seconds each (with 10 seconds rest in between). Using the foam roller (especially this particular stretch) has actually helped tremendously! It took about a week to feel any difference, but I've definitely noticed an improvement.

As anyone who has a cat knows, this is what happens when you try to do any sort of exercise on the floor:

Pardon me, just let me put my butthole in your face while you do that.

Chick, Duck, and even Phoebe have to check out what I'm doing.

That stretch on the foam roller feels amazing, by the way. It was my favorite at physical therapy.

6. Take iron supplement.

I'm still working on building up my ferritin level, so I'm continuing my iron supplement. I always take this right before eating dinner so that it becomes a habit.

7. Journal one line.

I've always loved the "Five Year" or "One Line A Day" journals because they only take a minute or two. I have a Five Year Journal and I love it. I've actually bought it as a gift for a few people, too. If you're not familiar with a five-year journal, it's a really cool concept; there are 365 pages (one for each date), with lines divided into five sections. Each page is marked for the date, and each paragraph section is where you write for the current year (you just fill in the last two digits of the year and then circle the day of the week).

So during the first year, you write a brief entry--just a couple of sentences about your day or whatever--on the first section for each date. Then the following year, you go back to the beginning of the journal and write a new entry for that date in the spot below it. It's neat to see what you wrote the year prior, or the year before that--kind of like the "memories" notifications on Facebook. (Here is the Amazon link to the one that I have, but if you search "five year journal", there are several. I like this one--it's not too small, not too big, and the pages are thick.)

8. Read for 2 minutes.

Again, I use the two minute rule for this. Sometimes I just don't have time to read or I don't feel like reading, so I will literally just read for two minutes (well, I usually finish out the page, so maybe a little longer). Most of the time, I get caught up in the book and end up reading for 20-30 minutes. I'm still reading Demon Copperhead--it's SO good! I'm just a slow reader, which is why I haven't finished it yet.

9. Do one Duolingo lesson.

One of my New Year's goals was to build my vocabulary with one new word each week. I wasn't doing great with remembering to do that, so instead, I started using Duolingo to learn Spanish. I took four years of Spanish in high school, but I remembered very little. The Duolingo app is free and each lesson only takes a couple of minutes. Most of the time I end up doing three of them, but doing at least one a day has helped me learn a lot!

I feel like I'm about to the point of where I stopped learning in high school, and I've only done it for 140 days or so. This is one of those habits that really shows how improving just a tiny bit each day will eventually add up.

10. Floss before bed.

This one is just one of those things that only takes a minute, but I just don't want to do. I guess I just feel like it's not totally necessary because I floss after breakfast every day (I put chia seeds in my cereal, and they always get stuck in my teeth). However, it feels good to go to bed with a totally clean mouth, which includes flossing. I use the water flosser now, so it goes much more quickly. I use habit stacking for this. I change into pajamas, do my back stretches, brush my teeth, then floss before getting into bed. The whole thing takes five minutes or so.

Funny story: A couple of days ago, I dropped the ball to one of my earrings down the drain in the bathroom sink. I was super bummed, and even though it was really tiny and probably hopeless to retrieve it, Jerry wanted to try. So he unscrewed the pipe under the sink to look. And then I noticed a little seedling growing in the drain--it was from a chia seed! Hahahaha.

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As you can see from my Habit Tracker, this is day 25 of doing these every. single. day. I can feel them becoming mindless habits! It's amazing how much of a difference reading the book has made--the "two minute rule" is invaluable to making these stick. I always have a tendency to get overzealous (in pretty much everything I do) and that's why it's so hard to stick to. Breaking these down into "atomic" size habits made them very doable--and actually enjoyable!

I'm only making a few changes for October's habits, but I'm keeping most of them the same until they truly become automatic and I do them without thinking (or having to check the tracker to make sure I did them).

You can find a ton of different habit trackers on Amazon (or free printable ones, I'm sure). The one that I have is no longer available, but here is the link to a similar one, as well as the pens/markers I use. I love these! The tip is firm like a pen, but they write like a marker and best of all--they don't bleed through the paper. I even use them in my five-year journal. The tracker has a section for weekly and monthly habits as well as the daily ones, but I haven't used those yet. I want to get the daily habits down first.

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Do You Know Your Partner? (A Fun Date Idea)

 Jerry and I have always loved the fill-in-the-blank books for couples. Generally, you either answer questions together or you each have separate books to fill out and then you compare answers and it's a great conversation starter. Also, it's very funny to read the answers!

When we were at Barnes & Noble for Noah's birthday, I found a book called "Do You Know Your Wife?". It asks questions about your husband/partner and you fill in the blanks. Then you have him score it, and then we went over out answers. We found the "Do You Know Your Husband?" book on Amazon for cheap, so we decided to get them both and make it a date to chill out and fill out our books together.

Book for women to fill out; and book for men to fill out.

The questions were fun! There were several things that I thought I would I would know instantly; we know pretty much everything there is to know about each other. But questions like, does he put on his shoes by putting on both socks first and then shoes, or put on a sock-shoe-sock-shoe?

Here are some example pages. Jerry marked his answer with an X and I marked mine with a checkmark--because we have to make everything more confusing than it needs to be, of course (eyeroll)

This is a page that I filled out (with the black). I got #97 wrong.

Another one of my pages that I wrote about him

I lost half a point on this because I didn't know the dog's name. And for some reason, I didn't picture him reading comics in the paper. We don't get the paper, so maybe that's why!

This is one that Jerry filled out. The top one probably should have been wrong. I'd totally try to fix it first, but get frustrated and then have Jerry help me when he wakes up.

Jerry answered this about me. He thought I would only donate a kidney to him, but I'd donate to pretty much anyone. Also, I used to love grapes but I've been into pears lately.

I'm not a flower person at ALL. Is there such a thing as an orange daisy? Daisies aren't my favorite, but I don't know the names of flowers except roses, daisies, carnations... and that's probably it! Haha. 

Jerry guessed all of these right except that I don't know how to jumpstart a car. My dad showed me, but I don't feel confident enough to do it. I can't remember if you plug the red or black in first. So, I kind of know but I'm not the first person you should ask.

BAHAHA, I didn't even know I had a school song in high school.

This one made me laugh because we are opposites on the one about underpaying. If I saw a mistake, I would totally point it out. Jerry probably wouldn't. So I filled in the ____ Ask Katie. And of course, he checked that box! Hahaha.

After we finished filling them out, we "graded" each others and we laughed at comments or questions that we got wrong. It was so much fun! Definitely different from the usual watching TV before bed. There are 100 questions each, so it takes a little time to fill them out.

Here is a link for the books, if anyone is interested (these are Amazon affiliate links, which means that if you buy through this link, I may get a small commission for it). They're super cheap...

Do You Know Your Husband? by Dan Carlinsky  $5.95
Do You Know Your Wife? by Dan Carlinsky  $3.90

There is a point system in the book to see how well you know each other, but we didn't go through to check out the points. We just have fun filling them out and chatting about our answers.

I wish we'd saved all of our fill-in-the-blank books throughout the years--it would be super cringy to read though them! Haha.

Doing this book kind of made me want to pay more attention to the little things. Sure, I could tell you how fast he drives, what his favorite pet is, or that he enjoys doing housework, but I can tell you his shoe size or his favorite TV show or even his favorite place he's ever visited. I'm going to really start paying attention and asking more questions. Maybe we need to find a list of off-the-wall questions to ask each other!

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Recent Reads (no spoilers)

It's been three months since I wrote a post about what I've been reading lately, and while the topic may not be interesting to anyone but me, I like to post a few thoughts about books I've read. It later helps me to remember what it was about. Why does it matter? Ha! No idea.

I tend to go through phases: I will spend a couple of months reading in all of my spare time, but then I'll spend months not reading anything. Usually, the reading phase is sparked by a good book. If I read a good book, I immediately want to download another. Eventually, I get to a book that just doesn't hold my interest and that triggers my not-reading phase.

Right now, I'm very much in my reading phase. So, here is what I've read since the last time I posted my books (late February). There are a lot of them, so I'm going to keep my thoughts short for each one.

'His & Hers' by Alice Feeney

I liked the format of this murder mystery, being from the points-of-view from "him" and "her" (and the killer) in a whodunit psychological thriller. Unfortunately, my first instinct happened to be correct--I didn't know the "why" but I strongly suspected the "who" from the beginning. I prefer books that keep me guessing until the end. However, the story is much more complicated than simply learning who the killer is, and I was second-guessing my instinct throughout the whole book.

In a nutshell: The two main characters are a reporter ("her"), and a detective ("him"); they have a past, and a recent murder brings them to the case for their own agendas. Both of them have ties with the woman who was murdered, and the more they dig into the case, the more suspicious they each look.

There were some really great quotes in this book! For example:

"The lives we lead need to be gold-plated nowadays, a series of varnished truths for the sake of how we appear on the outside. Strangers who view us through a screen—whether on TV or social media—think they know who we are. Nobody is interested in reality anymore; that’s something they don’t want to “like” or “share” or “follow.” I can understand that, but living a make-believe life can be dangerous. What we won’t see can hurt us. In the future, I expect people will long for fifteen minutes of privacy, rather than fifteen minutes of fame."

'Local Woman Missing' by Mary Kubica

Another murder mystery (yes, my favorite genre). I found this one to be very unbelievable. It's kind of like watching a B-horror movie, where the acting isn't great and the story is a bit "out there"--but they are still fun to watch. This book was a pretty fun read and I definitely didn't see the ending coming; but the ending was very unbelievable, so it would be hard to guess ahead of time. Also, there was zero motive behind a big twist, which was a let-down. I didn't love this one, but it doesn't feel like it was a waste of time, either.

In a nutshell: A woman goes missing, and shortly afterward, another woman and her six-year old daughter go missing as well. As readers, we try to figure out the connection (if there is one). There are multiple viewpoints and timelines (something I love in a psychological thriller) and you are waiting for the past and present to merge so you get the rest of the story. Very far-fetched in several parts of the plot, but I enjoyed it for the most part.

'False Witness' by Karin Slaughter

I really liked this one! It's slower-moving, but it held my interest enough to where I didn't want to stop reading. This one isn't a murder mystery (surprise surprise!); rather, you know what happened and are 99% sure who did it, but you don't want to see them get away with it. 

In a nutshell: The book starts off in the past (20 years ago) with two young teen sisters who babysit for a little boy. The boy's dad is a monster--a pedophile and rapist, and after he assaults the younger sister one night, they kill the him and vow never to tell a soul. Fast forward to the present, where the "little boy" comes back into the picture. He is accused of several counts of rape and as a defense attorney, the older sister agrees to represent him--not knowing who he actually is until she agrees to take the case--even though she is absolutely sure he is guilty.

'We All Fall Down' by Natalie D. Richards

Groan. I would never have read this if I'd known that it was supernatural. I don't believe in supernatural happenings, so I was super disappointed to get probably more than halfway through the book before I discovered that. If it had been a typical "whodunit" story, I would have really liked it. Once I learned it involved supernatural elements, I couldn't really get on board.

Anyway, to sum it up in a nutshell, it's about a bridge that the locals think is haunted. Two teens witness some weird stuff happening and they set out to figure out what's going on and who is playing mind tricks with them.

'Delirium' by Lauren Oliver

LOVED this book! It is the first in a series of three books (plus a couple of side stories). I flew through this one and immediately downloaded the second and the side story called Hana. The third book isn't available through my library, but I'm probably going to end up buying it because I really want to read it!

In a nutshell: This is a dystopian YA novel, taking place in the United States probably a century or so from now. Love was declared a horrific disease and scientists developed a "cure"--which kind of sounded like a lobotomy. A bit of brain surgery, and voila! You can no longer feel love, but you can perform daily tasks and live a (very boring) life. Everybody must get the surgery when they turn 18; at that point, they are paired with someone of the opposite sex to make a life with (marriage, children, etc.). 

The protagonist is a 17-year old girl named Lena who is very excited to get her procedure and move on with her life. She (along with most other people) is terrified of catching the "deliria" disease and she wants to feel safely cured. What is a dystopian YA series without a bit of romance, though? Lena meets a boy, which starts to change everything that she's been told from the time she was born.

'Pandemonium' by Lauren Oliver

This is the second book in the Delirium series. The big twist at the end was obvious from the very first page, but even knowing that, I couldn't want to see what happened. As soon as I was done with this, I read Hana.

'Hana: A Delirium Story' by Lauren Oliver

A side story of the Delirium series. Hana is Lena's best friend, and this short story is Hana's point of view that happened during the first book. This one wasn't very interesting, but it only took me a couple of hours to read it.

'The Upside of Falling' by Alex Light

This is the contemporary romance YA novel I mentioned Friday. This was such a fun and light read!

In a nutshell: Girl is a bookworm, kind of nerdy, not interested in relationships. Boy is captain of the football team, best looking boy in high school, uber popular but not interested in dating. She wants her friend to believe she has a boyfriend; he wants his parents to believe he has a girlfriend. They have a "fake" relationship to fool everyone. And naturally, just as you'd expect, the fake feelings start to turn real.

'Five Total Strangers' by Natalie D. Richards

I'm not sure how to feel about this book. On one hand, I was completely sucked into it; on the other, it was SO far-fetched with way too many coincidences. And how many crazy-bad things could happen to one group of college kids in the span of a day? I found a lot of the writing to be redundant (descriptions of how bad the storm was; how it felt like someone was watching all the time; how odd the other passengers are). I guessed the "who" from the beginning, but I was left wondering "why". In the end, I felt like it followed the college-kids-in-danger-and-who-is-trying-to-hurt-them? category perfectly. I liked it, though; if you like the predictable young adult thriller/horror movies (*raises hand*), you'll enjoy this book.

In a nutshell: Protagonist is flying home from college for Christmas when the flights are grounded because of a severe snow storm. Another college student, who she met on the plane, ends up renting a car to drive home. She offers a ride to the protagonist as well as three other people. The five of them begin a ridiculous "creepy" adventure on their way home--dealing with a snow storm, car accidents, scary people, missing items, and other things I won't write so as not to spoil it.

And that's about it. I need to start writing my thoughts after each book, even if I just jot down a few sentences on Goodreads, so I can remember more easily. My favorite on the list is, by far, 'Delirium'. 'False Witness' was very well-written and I enjoyed it a lot. And 'The Upside of Falling' was very fun and light-hearted--a nice break from the usual murder mysteries I like.

If you have suggestions for more that you think I might like, please share! There are lots of books I never would have discovered if not for readers telling me I would probably like them.

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A Few Recent Books I've Read (no spoilers)

I've been reading a lot lately, ever since I decided to quit trying to get through a book I wasn't interested in. It's a popular book ('Such a Quiet Place' by Megan Miranda), so I kept hoping it would get good. I made it through half of the book, but I just couldn't get interested in it and I basically quit reading because I just didn't feel like reading that book. I decided it's stupid to waste my time reading something that I'm not even enjoying--there are millions of books out there to read--so I just didn't finish.

I like to read on the treadmill; I just increase the font size on my Kindle a little and I can read it easily. I wish I had a tiny remote to turn the pages rather than tapping the screen, but it works just fine. And when I'm reading something really good, I have a much easier time talking myself into getting on the treadmill!

Anyway, I usually forget about books almost as soon as I'm done with them. I recently finished three, so I wanted to write down my (brief) thoughts about them before I forget.

'The Woman in Cabin 10' by Ruth Ware  (mystery/suspense/thriller)

This one is about a woman who goes on a business cruise ('cruise' is a loose term here; it's a very small ship that has about a dozen cabins). Her first night there, she thinks she hears a scream from the cabin next door and then something being dumped overboard; when she looks over the side, she believes it's a woman's body.

Naturally, she reports what she heard/saw, but nobody believes her because there wasn't anybody assigned to that cabin and nobody appears to be missing from the ship. She tries to piece together everything that happened that night so she can find the woman who was murdered.

I gave this book four stars. It definitely kept me guessing and each time I thought I was right, I discovered that it wasn't the answer. I didn't end up predicting the big twist, which is a good thing--I like it when I'm actually surprised. This one kept me turning pages quickly.

'My Darling Husband' by Kimberly Belle (mystery/suspense/thriller)

In late 2020 when I was walking five miles a day, I listened to a LOT of audiobooks. And I really liked Kimberly Belle--I listened to three of her books in a row: Stranger in the Lake, The Marriage Lie, and Dear Wife. So, I chose to read 'My Darling Husband' when I saw it was available in my library system.

It's about a well-known restaurant owner/celebrity chef that is in a ton of financial trouble. His wife doesn't know they are in debt or anything about all the people to which he owes money. His wife, 6-year old son, and 9-year old daughter are taken hostage inside of their home by a masked intruder. He is given instructions and does his best to carry them out. Meanwhile, his family is being held at gunpoint.

I actually started it yesterday and finished it today--I couldn't stop reading! I only gave it three stars, however, because I did predict the ending much earlier than I would have liked. And it was driving me crazy that the wife took so long to figure it out! It was written from the viewpoints of the husband, the wife, and the intruder; I love when books are written from multiple points of view.

'Final Girls' by Riley Sager (mystery/suspense/thriller)

I LOVED this book. I actually gave it five stars--which is extremely rare for me, especially for a suspense novel. I usually reserve five stars for books that are powerful enough to stick with me for a very long time. While this one wasn't "powerful" in that sense, I couldn't think of anything about it to criticize--I thought it was really good!

A "final girl" is basically a girl who avoids getting killed in the case of a mass murder--the only survivor when everyone around her is killed. The protagonist in 'Final Girls' is a "final girl"--ten years prior, she went to a cabin with her friends and everyone was killed, except for her. She was injured, but made it out alive, making her a "final girl". (As you may or may not know, I love slasher films/books, so this one sounded really good to me)

She connects with a couple of other final girls and is surprised when one of them shows up at her apartment, unannounced. They'd never met in person, but the timing wasn't coincidental; the third final girl in their trio recently took her own life. The protagonist invites the other girl to stay at her house so they can get to know each other, and as they learn more about what happened to their friend, things aren't adding up.

I'm not making this sound very interesting, but if I write too much, I'll give away possible spoilers. I put bits and pieces together throughout the book, but I couldn't figure out how everything worked until the "big twist" moment--and then all the pieces fit together so well. When I added it to Goodreads, I couldn't think of anything I'd change about the book, so I gave it five stars.

I just downloaded two books from the library that I'd had on hold: 'His & Hers' by Alice Feeney and 'Have You Seen Me?' by Kate White. 'His & Hers' was on hold for a while, so I'm going to start with that one.

First, though, I have to catch up on responsibilities since I spent half of yesterday and half of today reading! ;)

I keep forgetting to post the "random fact of the day"... here are the last two days'. I found both of these interesting!

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Friday Night Photos

I have kind of a lot of photos this week! So I'll get right to them, because this will be a long post...

I got a surprise package via FedEx a couple of days ago, and THIS is what it was!! I had no idea who they were from and I'd never heard of Crumbl Cookies before, but they looked delicious. The only person I could think of that might have sent them was my friend Caitlin in Boston. I texted her and she said yes, they were from her--there was supposed to have been a note inside, but somehow that got left out.

Anyway, there were six enormous cookies, two each of: peanut butter, rocky road, and chocolate chunk. Considering I'm really working hard to lose weight, I knew I was going to have to share them with the family.

I couldn't help but dig right into one of the peanut butter ones, though. I ate the whole thing myself and it was worth every. single. calorie. SO GOOD. For the rest, I cut them into four pieces each so that we could all taste them--so overall, I only had one and a half cookies. I'm pretty impressed with myself! I indulged, but didn't go overboard. (And no, there is no way I could have saved them for another day; I envy people that have the self-discipline to do that!)

These were SO much better than the ones we got from Detroit Cookie Company for Eli's birthday a couple of weeks ago. And there is a Crumbl Cookies in Ann Arbor! (That's where we went for Detroit Cookie Company.)

Speaking of surprises in the mail, my friend Erin sent me this adorable squirrel bag! (She ordered it and said when it arrived at her house, she thought the squirrel looked kind of creepy; I disagree.) I think it's super cute.

And speaking of squirrels, my brother (Brian) gave me this metal squirrel decor that his neighbor made--isn't it awesome? He apparently makes metal art like this for a side business.

These two. So spoiled! 

So, the cats (and Joey) have trained me into a routine each morning into giving them canned/wet food. (I used to just give them dry food but when they were sick, I was giving them "the good stuff" in order to get them to eat.) Now there's this whole routine:

Estelle doesn't like the "chunks" from canned food, so I give her the squeeze tubes of puréed tuna or chicken (that's the stuff on the white plate).

Other than that, I divide up a can of food for the other three cats:

• I give Phoebe the smallest amount but with as much of the gravy as I can (she mostly just licks all the gravy and then leaves the rest). She doesn't like the squeeze pouches, probably because it's what I had to force feed her when she was sick.
• I give Duck the most food because he eats the fastest and I don't want him going after Chick's.
• I spread Chick and Duck's food all over their plates so that it takes them longer to eat it. They are little piggies--you can see in the picture how they jump up on the bar stools to watch me impatiently while I'm prepping everything. (Meowing the entire time)
• I used to just let Joey eat Estelle's and Phoebe's leftovers, but since I started giving Estelle her puréed stuff, I bought some small pouches of food for Joey to have along with leftovers.
• I set down Chick and Duck's plates first, because they are going crazy for it, then I bring Estelle's and Phoebe's into the living room away from the kittens so they can eat in peace.
• Estelle eats all of hers and leaves.
• Meanwhile, Joey is done and sits and waits for whatever leftovers Phoebe leaves.
• When the kittens are done eating, they go stalk Phoebe (I have to watch them like a hawk and shoe them away).
• When Phoebe is done licking all the gravy, she leaves and then I let Joey eat the rest. (The kittens are disappointed they don't get Phoebe's, but I need to watch their weight.)

Moving on...

I was so excited when I got this letter in the mail for Jury Duty! I've been summoned twice before but it was when my kids were little and I had to excuse myself because I didn't have childcare. I think Jury Duty would be so interesting, and I was looking forward to it for next month.

Then a couple of weeks later, I got this in the mail, excusing me from Jury Duty--I was super bummed. I just got done reading a book that was a memoir/true crime book written by a lawyer and it really made me interested when I got the summons. Oh well--hopefully I'll get to do it another time. 

I just turned over 10,000 miles in my Jeep--and it's now two years old!! Isn't that crazy? Because of COVID, I just wasn't driving anywhere. And since Noah got his license, I don't have to drive him to/from school. 

I went grocery shopping for the week and I planned to make pico de gallo to put on some black bean enchiladas I was making. When I got out the ingredients to make it, I realized I forgot the jalapeño. I really didn't want to make it without jalapeño, so I asked Jerry to go get one. Out of ALL the things for the store to be out of, this was the sign on the shelf: "Sorry for the inconvenience. We'll restock this item as soon as it's available." 

I've been doing a lot of reading so far this year! I just started my fourth book, actually. The ones I just finished: (Amazon affiliate links)

'The Fact of a Body' by Alex Marzano-Lesnevich - This book was written SO well. It's a memoir/true crime book which sounds like an odd combination. The author is a lawyer who took a huge interest in a case and wrote the case out in a story-like way, using the facts (30,000+ pages of documents!) from the case. The crime was horrendous and horrible to read about, and I would only recommend it to people who are okay with reading about the details of such crimes. (I don't want to spoil it, and I definitely would NOT read about the case before reading the book. I would read the book blindly--not reading reviews or anything like that.)

'Never Saw Me Coming' by Vera Kurian - This was a refreshing psychological thriller! It's about a group of students who take part in a study at a university; they are each diagnosed as being an actual psychopath. The general students on campus at the university don't know about the study (other than the 7(?) kids that are in it). The professor running the program wants to study psychopathy and see if he can't help diagnosed psychopaths lead relatively normal lives. They each have their individual set of problems/agendas, and it's super interesting to see how it all plays out.

'The Lobotomist's Wife' by Samantha Greene Woodruff - This book is basically what the title says: about a lobotomist's wife. It's inspired by the true story of how the lobotomy procedure came to be. The psychiatrist who started performing them became quite obsessed, without worrying about long-term consequences (or short-term, for that matter). I'm super interested in anything have to do with mental illness, and I thought I'd love this book. But I only gave it three stars. It was kind of redundant and I was just waiting for it to be over. It did make me look up lobotomies online and I fell down a rabbit hole reading about that, however!

'Rock Paper Scissors' by Alice Feeney - I literally JUST started this book so I can't even comment about it yet.

And finally... here is the random fact of the day:

Have a great weekend! xo

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BOOK REVIEW : 'She's Come Undone' by Wally Lamb

I'm actually late getting this up; this was my October pick for the Friends-themed read-athon that I am participating in this year. (You can find the details on this blog post: 'The One Where Friends Meets Reality').

The theme for October was:

Monica: "Now, I need you to be careful and efficient. And remember, if I am harsh with you, it's only because you're doing it wrong." Read a book with a strong female lead.

I had no idea what book to pick, and I was down to just a few days left in October before I finally realized I'd better get started. I actually looked through the books I already had and ended up picking 'She's Come Undone' by Wally Lamb; I read it before, but it was a very long time ago (when Oprah raved about it for her book club).

It's really interesting how much my thoughts about the book have changed since then; I've been through quite a bit in the last 15 years!

First, the general synopsis. WARNING: I am going to post what *might* be considered a spoiler or two, but I don't believe they are. An incident happens in the first 25% of the book and the rest of the book is basically based around it. It's hard to even write what the book is about without saying it. So, if you don't want to read what may be considered a spoiler, then skip this post from here.

Also, I want to give a trigger warning about a few subject matters in the book: there are topics of domestic abuse, mental illness, rape, and eating disorders.

The protagonist is a young girl (in the beginning; at the end she's in her late 30's) named Dolores. She's an only-child, although her mom loses a baby boy during childbirth. This causes her mom to go into a deep depression and her parents' marriage is rocky. They get divorced and her dad leaves and starts a new family. This causes Dolores severe trauma because she had been very close with her dad and he all-but forgot about her when he left.

Her mom ends up going to a psychiatric hospital and Dolores goes to live with her grandmother. When her mom gets out of the hospital, she lives with them as well. At age 13, something horrific happens to Dolores: she is raped by someone she trusted.

From there, the book skips ahead to when she is finishing high school. After the rape, her mom felt really guilty about knowing the person who'd raped Dolores and desperately wanted to make Dolores feel better, so she showed her love with food--she bought Dolores all sorts of treats every day, hoping it would make her happy. Her weight gets up to 257 pounds after high school. Dolores blames herself for the rape and for another tragic event that happened the summer after high school; she then believes she deserves bad things to happen to her after that.

I'll stop here with the synopsis because then there really would be spoilers if I go on. When I first read this book, I LOVED it. I can't remember why I loved it so much, but it was one of my favorite books I'd ever read.

This time around, I still liked it but it didn't have the same effect as before.

Things I like about the book:

As unlikeable as Dolores is sometimes, I can't help but really like her. Considering all that she goes through, it's understandable why she does some of the things she does. I feel terrible for her! I wish I could have hugged her and told her that she did NOTHING to deserve being raped and that she's not the bad person she thinks she is.

I like that the timeline of the book spans a couple of decades rather than just a short time period in her life. Because of this, we get to see the "butterfly effect"...

The butterfly effect: we can see how one moment/choice/incident leads to enormous effects and consequences. I've always liked this philosophy when it has good effects. It's just really sad that Dolores's life was forever changed by terrible experiences; in her case, it started with her dad leaving and then by being raped at age 13. It makes you wonder how different she would be in so many ways if those things hadn't happened.

The topic of mental illness. The book takes place in the 1960's-80's (I believe Dolores was born around 1951-52, based on worldly things that were happening throughout) and mental illness was much more stigmatized than it is now (even now, there is a stigma, but back then, it was very hush-hush). Still, I liked that it was talked about.

Things I dislike about the book:

The biggest one is that Wally Lamb had NO CLUE about what "fat" means. Dolores is 257 pounds, but the way he describes her makes it sound like she should be in a circus freak show--for example, she can't fit into a Volkswagon; when she sits in a truck the entire truck slants under her weight; Lamb describes her "mounds of flesh" and "fat rolls" as if she is the size of a house. I was 253 pounds before I lost the weight, and yes--I was fat. But cars didn't sink under my weight and people didn't gawk at me like I was a zoo animal. I was treated badly, yes; called names, yes; but I still don't think it was anything like he described and Dolores was only 4 pounds heavier than me.

That said, however, I do take into consideration that this took place in the 1960's-80's, when it was much less common to be that size, and definitely not as accepted.

In retrospect, I think that's the only real dislike that I have about the book.

Lamb did a good job writing about topics as they would have been looked at from that time period: domestic abuse (back then, it was considered a "private family matter" that people didn't get involved in; mental illness (it was rarely talked about and getting a diagnosis/help was nothing like it is today); bias and even hatred of homosexuality (not to say that the bias doesn't still exist now--it certainly does--but the language and acceptance and education about it is different now); and the "fat" bias (again, it still exists and is terrible, but it's more common and accepted to be overweight now).

I realize I probably make this book sound completely unappealing! Heavy topics, doom and gloom, etc. It's not all like that--I would like to write more, but that would spoil it.

I used to have it on my "Top 10 Best Books I've Ever Read" list; but I just removed it because I just don't feel the same about it. I like to do a giveaway with books that I really love, but I can't say that I really love this one anymore. It's good. I'm glad I read it (twice). But it's not one I would read again.

If you're interested (even after that terrible description! haha) you can find the book here (Amazon affiliate link).

Now, for this month, the Friends-themed topic is:

"The One with All the Thanksgivings" - Read a book centered around family.

I've actually already made my pick and I've started reading it! I chose 'Educated' by Tara Westover. (Amazon affiliate link)

It was on a list when I googled "books about family". After reading what it was about, I searched my library website for the ebook; that's when I realized I'd seen it a million times on the site but I always ignored it because of the cover! Because of the name and the cover, it just made me think that it was a self-help book about education or something. I never even read what it was about. But it is apparently a wildly popular book--it has over 57,000 reviews on Amazon. Here is the publisher's description:

"Born to survivalists in the mountains of Idaho, Tara Westover was 17 the first time she set foot in a classroom. Her family was so isolated from mainstream society that there was no one to ensure the children received an education and no one to intervene when one of Tara’s older brothers became violent. When another brother got himself into college, Tara decided to try a new kind of life. Her quest for knowledge transformed her, taking her over oceans and across continents, to Harvard and to Cambridge University. Only then would she wonder if she’d traveled too far, if there was still a way home."

I'm only a few chapters in, but I think I'm going to like it! It reads more like a novel than it does a memoir, and I like that. (I love memoirs, but I just haven't been in to them lately).

I've you've read 'She's Come Undone' I'm curious about your thoughts!

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BOOK REVIEW: 'The Running Dream' by Wendelin Van Draanen (no spoilers)

I didn't make a heritage recipe today. I picked one out, but once I realized who it came from, I decided to give it some more time. The recipe came from the mother of my third grade teacher! There are very few teachers that I remember well, but she was definitely one of them--a favorite for sure. I ended up looking her up on Facebook and I decided to send her a message about the recipe. I don't know if she'll read the message, but it would be great to hear from her. I'll post the recipe either way.

Anyway, I finished my September Friends read-athon book, so I wanted to get my thoughts down about it before I forget.

I committed to a 12-month read-athon, where I choose a book each month based on a prompt inspired by Friends (the TV show). Here is the post with the details.

For September, the prompt was: "The One with the Football" - Read a sports-themed book.

When I hear "sports", I think of the well-known ones: football, basketball, hockey, baseball, soccer... I am not a sports fan in the slightest sense of the word. However, even though running isn't the first thing that pops into my mind as far as sports go, I consider it a sport. And I'm definitely interested in reading about running, so I chose a book called 'The Running Dream'.

Here is the publisher's description of 'The Running Dream' by Wendelin Van Draanen (Amazon affiliate link):

Jessica thinks her life is over when she loses a leg in a car accident. She's not comforted by the news that she'll be able to walk with the help of a prosthetic leg. Who cares about walking when you live to run?

As she struggles to cope with crutches and a first cyborg-like prosthetic, Jessica feels oddly both in the spotlight and invisible. People who don't know what to say, act like she's not there. Which she could handle better if she weren't now keenly aware that she'd done the same thing herself to a girl with CP named Rosa. A girl who is going to tutor her through all the math she's missed. A girl who sees right into the heart of her.

With the support of family, friends, a coach, and her track teammates, Jessica may actually be able to run again. But that's not enough for her now. She doesn't just want to cross finish lines herself—she wants to take Rosa with her.

It's a young adult fiction book, and yes, I thought it sounded corny. Sometimes, though, I like corny. (The description should not have abbreviated cerebral palsy because not everyone knows what "CP" is; the description makes more sense if you know what CP is.)

I knew this was going to be a "feel good" type of book so I read it with that in mind (basically, I didn't want to be cynical about it being predictable and/or corny).

I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed this book! It definitely met my expectations of it being a "feel good" book--no surprise there--but there was more to it than that.

First, reading about what it's like to lose a leg... wow. You think you can imagine how awful it would be, but you don't really think about things like, say, how to get into a bathtub when you only have one leg. You can't just hop over the side of the tub. This was a challenge that Jessica had to figure out.

I learned quite a bit about prosthetics as well--and not in a super nerdy all-the-fine-details way, but more of the basics like how it stays on the residual limb (as well as terms such as "residual limb"). It was stuff I'd never really thought about before, but I found it really interesting.

There were lots of funny parts of the book, too--I literally laughed so hard that I was wheezing at one point, and when I read it to Jerry, he was cracking up, too:

Before she was in the car accident that caused her to have her leg amputated, Jessica ran track for her high school. Her event was the 4x400 meter relay--meaning four members of the team each run a 400-meter leg to complete the race. Anyway, she went out to lunch with her friend--also on the track team--and her friend was filling her in on what was happening with the team. She mentioned another girl on the team doing the relay. Jessica responded, "Oh, did she take my leg?" (meaning the leg of the relay). When she and her friend realized what she'd said, completely unintentionally, they burst out laughing. So did I.

Basically, the book goes through stages: it starts with Jessica in the hospital immediately after her amputation. Then it goes into her adjusting to life without her leg (it's so much more complicated than I imagined!). She REALLY misses running, which is obviously a theme throughout the book. Then the books goes into her life after she's physically recovered and trying to resume some sense of normal.

She becomes friends with a girl named Rosa who has cerebral palsy and feels invisible--Jessica admits that she never paid attention to Rosa before her accident. Meanwhile, she is getting fitted for a prosthesis (a very long process!) and there is hope that she'll run again one day with the help of a prosthetic running leg.

I don't want to get much more into that because I don't want to spoil anything, but I'll just say that the book is expectedly predictable and I'm sure you'll guess what happens before you even read it, haha. However, it gave me ALL the feelings--I can't even tell you how many times I cried while reading! Happy tears. It is absolutely the "feel good" book that I imagined it would be. And I loved it!

It made me think of when I went to the Runner's World Half & Festival in 2014 and I met Sarah Reinertsen--a Paralympic triathlete and former track runner with an above-the-knee amputation. I learned a little about prosthetic running legs from her, but if I'd read this book before meeting her, I would have asked her a million more questions.

I highly recommend this book if you're looking to restore your faith in humanity. If you're a runner, you'll especially love it, but even if you're not, it would still be very enjoyable. I was surprised just how accurate the running stuff was--especially the feelings surrounding running and racing--and I figured that the author probably ran track. (In the "About the Author" section, I learned that she did, in fact, run track.)

Overall, this book was incredibly heartwarming and emotional. It was educational without being boring or nerdy, and it seemed to be well-researched. It was inspiring and uplifting.

I liked this book so much that I'd like to give away a Kindle copy! And actually, I have a paperback copy that I'm never going to read (now that I have my Paperwhite, I can't imagine going back to actual books). I got the paperback from a thrift store, so it isn't in perfect shape--it's clearly a used copy--but I'd be happy to pass it along to someone who would like it!

To enter to win a Kindle copy or the paperback, just fill out the form below. I'll email you if your name is pulled :)  (I'll randomly pick the names on September 25, 2021 at 5:00 PM ET.)

If you would like to check it out on Amazon, you can find it here. (Affiliate link)

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