Dealing With Bipolar Hypomania

I've been thinking lately that I may be hypomanic. I've been trying to be more aware of my mood shifts, and lately, I've really been experiencing some symptoms of hypomania.

Examples:

*Adopting two kittens. I can't say this is totally crazy, but I've always said we wouldn't get more cats until Phoebe and Estelle have passed away.

*Taking on multiple projects. Without taking the time to really plan things out carefully, I ordered the insulation and drywall and just went to town on the garage. I had no idea what a big project it would turn into! But because I love working on a project all day long until I can do as much as possible, it hasn't taken too long to get the insulation and drywall up. I finished the fourth wall yesterday, and now it's time for the ceiling (so help me God).

*I've also contacted a couple of contractors to get an estimate for building a large concrete porch. This is something I've wanted for YEARS now, and this is the perfect time to do it. Our porch is a death trap right now because it's so old and falling apart. I've looked into building a new one myself, but concrete is just one project I don't really want to try myself right now ;) 

*Another project I took on was sewing face masks. I love to sew, and it seemed so simple. It's really not hard to make them, but they take a long time for each one because it's meticulous adding the pipe cleaner and then sewing the hair ties in to hook it around your ears. Each one takes me roughly an hour to make, and today I completed about 40 more (in total, I've made about 125!). That's a LOT of time spent working on masks!

And to make matters worse, NOBODY has received the ones that I mailed on Monday. I am getting really worried. I don't want to mail out more just yet, because I'll be horrified it they got lost. All of that time wasted! (I did call the post office today, and they said that shipping has been very slow; that if there was a problem with the shipping cost, they would have been returned right way. So, if you're expecting a mask from me, it *should* arrive soon!)

Meanwhile, I made another batch... there are about 40 here. Once I find out if the others have reached their destinations, I'll give these ones away, too, for a small (optional) donation.

*I've been spending a little too much money lately, too (another symptom of hypomania). We have the extra money right now (since we canceled our San Francisco trip AND we had to cancel Eli's school trip to Washington D.C., we got some large refunds (I requested a refund from Delta instead of Delta credit, and they agreed--it took some finagling with the credit card company, but it was nice to get that refunded). 

Anyway, I bought the new Brooklinen sheets, a Cricut (which I still haven't opened), and a woodworking tool (it wasn't crazy expensive--about $80). I can't say that I regret the purchases, but I definitely want to reel it in because we need to save that extra money in case Jerry is laid off. They laid off about 60-70% of people in the plant, and he was one of the lucky ones to keep his job. (He's a fantastic employee, so I'm sure it wasn't just "luck".)

I have to say, though the Brooklinen sheets were 100% worth the money. Jerry even said that he's sleeping better since we got them!

*I also keep making plans and not following through (this isn't super new--I tend to do this a lot!--but lately it's been worse than usual). I have been making numerous attempts at weight loss, but I just can't seem to stick to it. I'm not even trying any crazy diets or anything--I can't even just stick to counting calories.

*My eating schedule has been all over the place. Usually, I go all day without eating because I keep myself so busy, and then I just eat way too much at night when I finally chill. When I'm hypomanic, I usually don't have an appetite. And I used to lose weight pretty easily while hypomanic--but apparently my mood stabilizers are stabilizing me just enough to keep that from happening.

*Running is another one. I have a schedule written out to get back to running, and I'll follow it for a couple of days and then quit. Over and over. If I'm going to run the half-marathon with Adam in October, I really need to build up a solid base again. So, I get ambitious and make training plans and then I don't follow through.

*My sleep has been an issue, too. I want to stay up all night long because I feel like I don't need any sleep! I made plans to try to get on a good sleeping schedule, but the weekend really messed that up (Jerry was off work, so we stayed up later). 

There are parts of hypomania that I enjoy--the excess energy, getting a LOT done (drywalling, sewing masks, working out all of the financial stuff for our canceled trips, etc.) The parts that aren't so fun are the insane irritability and quick mood shifts. 

I actually haven't an appointment with my psychiatrist next week, so I'll talk to him about it. The hypomania isn't TOO bad, so I don't know that we'll change up my meds. I really think that if I can make a daily schedule and stick to it, I'll do better. Routine is SO CRUCIAL when dealing with bipolar disorder. 

Maybe when my school-year routine changed, it triggered the hypomania. My life is all over the place right now! Mainly by drowning myself in projects. And I'm not complaining--I love having the time to work on projects that I'm interested in! Right now, I'm dying to finish my garage so that I can build a desk with Noah. 

Anyways, over the last couple of days, I've been thinking that maybe I am hypomanic. And after writing this out, I'm pretty sure the answer is yes! 

Continue Reading...

Cat Antics and Ambitious Projects

Right now, I have to pee so badly! And I really want to go get some ice to chew on while I write this. 

The problem? Both of the kittens are sleeping on my shins (I'm sitting on my couch with my feet up) and I don't want to disturb them. If you have cats, then you totally know the feeling ;)

So yesterday's post was rushed--I was tired and it'd been a long day. I wanted to write about going to pick up the kittens--it was a new experience for us! As I mentioned, we adopted the kittens from a rescue. The rescue is called Friskie Felines of Michigan--and it's run by a woman named Vickie (and her husband) from her home.

I cannot even describe the respect I have for Vickie and her husband. They take in kittens that people find "abandoned" (I put that in quotes because Vickie said that a lot of times, the mama cat leaves her litter to get food or something and comes back to find that her babies are gone). Or, in other cases, kittens are found in bad situations and need to be rescued.

Vickie takes them into her home and cares for them around the clock until they are old enough to be adopted. Do you have any idea how much work that is? I didn't either!

Yesterday, when we went to pick up our kittens, I got to hold a teeny tiny kitten--SEVEN DAYS OLD! Its eyes weren't even open yet. Vickie said that someone gave the kitten to her when they were raking their landscaping and found it (I don't remember if it's a boy or girl). 

The kitten has to eat every three hours, and luckily, Vickie also has a mama cat from another litter thats she'd rescued... Vickie puts the mama cat in a crate with the lone kitten and that mama can nurse the kitten. If she didn't have a mama kitten to be a surrogate, then Vickie would have to do the work herself by bottle feeding. Every THREE HOURS.

I've never really understood how non-profit animal rescues work, but seeing Vickie at Friskie Felines has given me a whole new respect for the people that do this work every day. I'll describe our night with the kittens last night, but I will first say... yikes! Having kittens is just as hard (if not harder) that having a new baby. They are just as demanding. (And still so cute that you don't mind, haha. Like now, for instance--I want to get up but I just can't possibly disturb the kitties!)

Anyways, normally I don't promote particular charities, but after seeing the work that Vickie and her husband do from their home (I can't even tell you how many cats they take care of there!) I wanted to post a link to donate to Friskie Felines if you are feeling generous. I assure you that the money is going toward true cat lovers that put their entire lives at the feet of these cats! (Here is their Facebook page, and you can donate there if you would like to) Whenever I donate to a cause, I always like to know where my money is going--and I was happy to donate to Friskie Felines! (And of course, if you are local and looking to adopt a cat, definitely look at the cats/kittens they have available!)

Okay, so yesterday, Jerry, Eli, and I went to go pick up the kittens from Vickie's home (they don't have a shelter--they literally take care of all these cats and kittens in their house!). When we got there, Eli said he'd never actually seen a kitten in-person before. My heart broke when I heard that! Once I thought about it, I guess I wasn't surprised, but I felt bad that it was his first time seeing kittens.

And he got to see a nice spectrum--from the seven-day old kitten to babies who were about 4-5 weeks to ours who are about 8-9 weeks old. When we left, he kept talking about how cute they all were. (Noah was being a typical 15-year old and was still sleeping when we left at 10:15 AM--so he didn't go with us.)

Holding the one-week old kitten was a new experience for me, and I almost couldn't stand how adorable all the kittens were! There were some gray tabbies that nearly stopped my heart from beating.

After bringing home our two solid black kittens, I have to say, I am totally in love with them. They have the cutest personalities! And it's so funny how different they both are, even though they look identical (except that one has long hair and one has short hair).

And no, we STILL haven't named them *eye roll*. I need to make a vet appointment for them this week, so I have to come up with names, but we just can't decide. So far, Chick and Duck seem to be at the top of the list ;) I love the idea of naming them Chick and Duck (perfect for our Friends theme) but actually calling them that feels odd.

They slept really good last night! I put them in my bedroom (with a litter box in our bathroom) so they wouldn't have full access to the house--just the smaller space of my bedroom and bathroom. Jerry had his alarm set for 4:30 AM, and when he got up, the kittens decided that they were ready to play. I got up at the same time, and just watching them was very entertaining! 

Once Jerry left, they finally settled down at about 6:00. Then I went out to the garage at around 8:00 to finish the drywall. I got all four walls done! Next step is the ceiling, which I'm completely dreading. I'm going to rent a drywall lift, though, so hopefully that will make it easier. Then comes the taping and mudding--which you know I love (that is sarcasm, by the way). It felt good to get the walls done, though. Now I can have a little of my garage back (the sheets of drywall were lying on a pallet in the middle of the garage, taking up so much space).

Next, I worked on another batch of face masks that I'm making. I got some fabric from my mom, and a request for masks from my brother's girlfriend, Alex. I really like her, so I decided to make the masks she wanted; and then I figured since I was making those, I might as well make the biggest batch I can. I haven't counted them, but there are probably about 50 more?

Right now, all I have left to do is attach the elastic for the ears. I should get them done tomorrow.

I'm pretty worried because I sent off a huge batch (50+) of envelopes containing masks on Monday, and NOBODY has received theirs yet! I spent SO much time working on those, and I can't even tell you how frustrated and upset I'll be if nobody receives them. I'm going to go to the post office tomorrow and talk to them to see what may have happened. 

For this next batch, I plan to do a drawing--I'll select people at random rather than "first come first serve". Again, the fabric was limited, so there isn't a lot to choose from. Since I'm giving them away for a donation, I love the phrase "beggars can't be choosers" ;)  Jerry uses that phrase a lot, and it helps me feel better when I make things for people without charging them. If they were paying a lot of money for them, then I would feel a need to make it perfect. I don't want to put that much pressure on myself! So I'll give them away for a donation again 

FIRST, though, I want to talk to the post office and find out what the heck happened to the first batch. How can 50+ envelopes get lost in the mail?!

Anyways, if you're waiting for a mask, I apologize--not a single person has received theirs yet!--and I will let you know what I find out. 

And if you still need a mask, I am working on them now... hopefully I'll be able to send them out by the end of the week!

Continue Reading...

The Kittens' First Day

It's almost 10:00, and I am just now writing a post... it's been such a busy day! I'll post a little now, but hopefully will catch up tomorrow.

Like I said yesterday, today was the day we could pick up our kittens! When we recently planned to adopt a couple of tuxedo cats, they were just not happy leaving their foster home (where they'd been since they were just a few weeks old). They didn't eat a single bite of food by day three, so we ended up giving them back to their foster home (the rescue where we were adopting them from).

I had mentioned wanting older cats because kittens are so easy to adopt out (everybody wants kittens); but they said that black kittens are very hard to adopt out and they happened to have four of them that were going to be ready for adoption in a few weeks (after getting spayed/neutered).

I wanted to get two males (they get along better than females, and considering we already have two females, I felt it was a safe bet). Eli really wanted a long-haired cat, and one of the black ones happened to have long hair. So, we knew which kitties we were getting--we just had to be patient and wait for the time to pick them up.

I mentioned yesterday that we were trying to come up with our Friends-themed names, to keep with tradition, so I asked for input on Facebook. It was so fun to read through and see what everyone thought!

To save you the suspense, we STILL haven't picked their names. I don't know why this is such a hard decision! We even looked up a list of every single character that was ever on Friends--and we just couldn't come to a decision.

So, I'll have to share their names later. For now, we've been calling them "The One With the Long Hair" and "The One With the Short Hair". So original! (If it wasn't for their hair lengths, we would not be able to tell them apart at all.)

It actually was kind of funny, because Jerry said we should literally name them "The One With the Long Hair" and "The One With the Short Hair". If you're a Friends fan, then you know that all of the episodes titles started with "The One Where..." or "The One With...", etc. It would be pretty ironic to name them that! haha

In a nutshell:

The One With the Short Hair... We were actually talking about naming him "Fun Bobby" because his personality really does fit! He's very spontaneous and bold. Extremely curious--he always checks things out first, and then his brother will follow. He even sniffed out Joey almost right away.

The One With the Long Hair... He is very cautious, but super sweet and cuddly. He will purr immediately when you pick him up and he just falls completely limp on your lap while he sleeps.

Together, they're adorable! They play rough with each other--chasing each other all over the place and tumbling around, wrestling on the floor. They are SO curious and SO full of energy! We hadn't had a kitten since Chandler, and that was in 2003--I'd forgotten just how curious and fun kittens are.

We spent all evening just watching them play. It was super entertaining!

Joey took to the kittens right away; he was very curious, of course, but he was more interested in their food than he was them, haha. Estelle and Phoebe hate me right now! They are super pissed about having new cats in the house--which I expected. I'm sure they'll come around in a week or so.

The kittens move SO quickly that it's nearly impossible to get a photo of them that isn't just a blur. But I did my best to a get a few. They aren't great photos, but I'll try and get some better ones with Noah's camera tomorrow.

Hoping to get some sleep tonight!  Haha

Continue Reading...

The One Where We Name Our Kittens

I don't have time to write a "real" post right now, because Jerry and I are about to watch a movie... but tomorrow, we are going to pick up our new kittens from the animal rescue we are adopting them from. We are SO EXCITED.

As I mentioned a few times before, we are getting two kittens from a rescue (they are both solid black--we were told that black kittens are hard to adopt out--so sad!).

As you know, we have always named our pets after "Friends" characters. Currently, we have Joey (our "chabrador"--lab-chow mix); Phoebe (orange tabby); and Estelle (tortoiseshell).

Previously, we have had Chandler, Janice, Paolo, and Monica (all cats).

We are getting two male kittens, so we need two male names. Here are some ideas, keeping with the "Friends" theme (but we are open to others!):

1) Tag and Charlie
2) Chick and Duck
3) Gunther and Geller
4) Geller and Bing
5) Fun Bobby and Frank Jr. Jr.
6) Chip and Kip

We cannot use the name Chandler (he was our first cat and he passed away in 2016--we were devastated! His name is retired.) We could always forgo the Friends theme, but since we've done it for so long, it feels like we should continue the tradition!

Eli loves Breaking Bad, so he did suggest Combo and Badger from that show. I'm not opposed to it! I think those names are very cool for cats. But even Eli was thinking it'd be sad to break tradition from Friends.

Anyways, I will be sure to post some pictures tomorrow. We are so excited to pick them up!

I know that sometimes people have a hard time commenting here, so here is a link to my Facebook post about the names of the cats... feel free to post your opinion there!

Continue Reading...

My First Real Binge in Over Three Years

So, I binged last night.

I hadn't been keeping track of how long it had been since my last binge, but I knew it had been sometime in early 2017. That was the year I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and started on mood stabilizing medications.

I felt great after starting the meds! And 2017 was the year I decided that I was going to work on living my "happiest life"--doing whatever made me happy and NOT doing whatever didn't make me happy (other than my obligations, of course, like being a chauffeur to the kids and cleaning my house and grocery shopping, etc.).

Living my happiest life seemed to turn off the binge eating disorder. It was like a switch just flipped and I stopped binge eating. Just like that.

Sure, over the last three years I've overeaten. I've eaten for emotional reasons. I've eaten when I wasn't hungry. But those times weren't true binge eating episodes (loss of control). Here is a post about the difference between binge eating and overeating.

Yesterday, I felt... different. I had gotten up at 4:30 AM with Jerry, because I've been trying to regulate my sleep routine. (I had gone to bed before 9:00 the night before!). I felt fine during the morning. Even though I said I wasn't going to, I worked a little on the drywall in the garage. (Even though I was sore, I just couldn't help myself!)

I noticed that at around noon, my energy level just dropped like a giant rock off a cliff. I came in the house and sat down to chill for a little while (watching an old episode of Oprah!) and playing Best Fiends on my phone.

While I was playing, I literally fell asleep. My phone dropped in my lap, startling me awake. A few days ago, I wrote about how I NEVER nap because my body just doesn't fall asleep during the day. Even after only sleeping for a few hours at night, I just cannot nap. A few hours of sleep keeps me wide awake all day.

Well, after my phone dropped, I decided to lie down on the couch for "just a minute" to finish the Oprah episode. I woke up over an hour later when the stupid Honeywell Instant Alert System (an automated message system from my kids' schools) called three times in a row. I was SO TIRED that I just couldn't even move.

I knew I need to get up and make dinner. But I just laid on the couch trying to muster up the will to get up. I'd been planning to make chicken thighs--with skin and bone, something I'd never bought before--pan searing them and then finishing them in the oven; along with steamed broccoli on the side.

Jerry has been interested in intermittent fasting and he watched some film (called FAT on Amazon Prime) about cutting back on carbs. While I love carbs, I wanted to be supportive, so I said I'd try it with him for just a week. (I didn't plan on doing this myself for longer, but I wanted to at least help him get started.)

Side note: Jerry and the kids LOVED the chicken. It was like eating the crispy skin on chicken was a huge treat for them, haha). Again, I felt bad for not cooking things like that before! End side note.

You can see where I'm going here...

I love carbs. My body loves carbs. Giving up carbs is NOT realistic for me to do for the rest of my life, so I shouldn't do it now. Remember my "Golden Rule" for weight loss?). The reason I didn't even write about the plan yet is because I wasn't sure if I could actually do it for a week. I just wanted to make things easier on Jerry.

Well, I knew I was dragging ass yesterday due to lack of carbs for two days. I'd only gotten carbs from vegetables and some berries. My body felt so deprived. And, as has always been the case for me, binge eating follows deprivation.

So, for the first time in over three years, I binged. I went to the party store (corner store a couple of blocks away) and bought ice cream, chips, and Oreos. I hadn't had ice cream in months (for some reason, I've been craving saltier foods like chips rather than sweets for a few months now).

I've been letting my kids have a few Oreos at night for a bedtime treat, and I've stayed away from them. But yesterday, I was on a mission to binge--so I bought my own at the store. (Thankfully, they only had the six-pack of Oreos; if they'd had the larger pack, I would've bought that.)

I came home and ate it all. I ate the ice cream first, and I started feeling better (physically) already. I still felt ashamed to be eating like that. It was humiliating not to be in control. I was still extremely tired, but nothing like I had been earlier.

I ended up staying up until about 11:30 and I woke up at 6:00. I feel fine now, other than the fact that I binged last night. I really didn't want to write about it here, because like I said--I feel ashamed and humiliated that I did that. But I feel like it's an important thing to mention. I broke my own rule.

THAT "rule" is how I lost 125 pounds. I had tried all the diets (including low carb) back in the day and I couldn't stick with anything long enough to lose weight. It was after I decided not to do anything I wasn't willing to do forever that I finally lost the weight. Fourteen months after that decision nearly 11 years ago, I'd lost 125 pounds, and I was eating things I loved. I hadn't given up anything I didn't want to.

Where will I go from here?

Well, I'm going to follow my own goddamn advice. I'm going to eat how I can sustain to eat for the rest of my life. I'm going to start my morning with tea and whatever I feel like having--breakfast has been all over the place lately. I've been wanting sourdough toast, but I can't get my beloved sourdough at the store, because they are always out of it since the quarantine.

I'll eat a small lunch, because I've never been a big lunch person anyway. Always with fruit. I love fruit.

I'll eat dinner that I cook myself (or that I assign the boys to cook, or help them cook). I'll include the vegetables that I like--and I do like a lot of veggies! I'll eat the healthy foods I enjoy--including carbs. I'll skip the foods I don't like.

And I'll eat a treat at night--whether it's salty or sweet, as long as I like it. Something to end the day with something I can look forward to.

That is a sustainable and enjoyable way for me to eat, and it will help me to get back to staying binge-free. I will also try to help Jerry with his eating plan by cooking things that he enjoys as well. I can continue to cook the meat separate from other things, and I can have carbs on the side--so we both can eat what works for us.

And there you have it. The raw, honest, vulnerable, humiliating truth.

On a positive note, Jerry's has the day off from work today, so I think we're going to try to finish drywalling the final wall of the garage. Then we'll need to rent a drywall lift to work on the ceiling! I can't WAIT to get it done :)

I'd also like to go to JoAnn Fabric's in Toledo to get some more fabric for masks. I've had so many requests!

Finally, I'm going to set my goals for the next three days:

*Cook a healthy meal for dinner for the family each day.
*Eat three meals and one "treat" or snack in the evening.
*Get and stay hydrated (I know I haven't been drinking enough water for the amount of work I've been doing in the garage--I can always feel when I'm dehydrated)
*Bonus: Write in my journal each evening, even if it's just a single sentence.

Continue Reading...

Day One of Trying to Work Out a Schedule

Oh. My. Gosh.

I cannot even begin to describe how sore I am today! As I wrote yesterday morning, I got up at 4:30 in the morning with Jerry before he left for work. (I'm trying to get in the habit of a good sleep schedule--going to bed at 9:00 and getting up at 4:30.)

After he left, I wrote my blog post and then went out to the garage to work on the drywall. I know you are probably totally sick of hearing about my drywalling the garage, but with this quarantine, there isn't a whole lot to write about!

My days are filled with working on projects--like the face masks, insulating the garage, and now drywalling the garage. I've even been knitting and crocheting.

I really enjoy the drywalling--the day flies by!--and I actually consider that "me time". I gave the kids chores to do because they are out of school for the year. They have been doing some of the things I normally would do--wash and put away their own laundry, poop scoop the yard, clean out the litter box, and stuff like that. Nothing grueling! And when I need to lift a piece of drywall so it butts up to the ceiling, I make them come help me (it's SO hard to lift without help).

I made some serious progress yesterday! I finished an entire wall, so now I have three full walls done. I highly doubt I'll be able to work on it today because I'm so sore. Wall #3:

I'd LIKE to say that I'll spend the day catching up on email (which will likely take 6-8 hours--I've gotten so far behind!). But I have a feeling I'm going to want to head out to the garage again ;)

True to my word, I followed the plan for an evening routine. Once I came inside from drywalling at 3:30, I spent about an hour playing a game on my phone--I'm addicted to Best Fiends!--before starting on dinner.

I planned to make steak and asparagus, along with a small salad. Well, I bought way too much asparagus, so we skipped the salad. My family LOVES asparagus. I honestly cannot even remember the last time that I cooked steak. I really don't like eating plain pieces of meat (I like it to be mixed into things like in a stir-fry or some sort of skillet meal, soup, or casserole).

I feel terrible for not cooking meat for the family like that, and I thought steak would be a treat. It was so sad when I told the kids what we were eating--when I said steak, Eli replied, "You mean like a real steak?!" and Noah said, "Do we each get our own?! YES!" Hahaha, I am going to make it a mission to cook meat like that more often.

This week, when I went to the store, I bought salmon, shrimp, and pork chops; I'm going to plan to make those things as separate items alone with side dishes instead of a skillet meal or casserole or something.

I marinated the steak in this marinade (this site is really difficult to find the recipe and there are a trillion ads, so it was hard to find the recipe--I almost gave up--but I'm glad I didn't). I also added mushrooms to the marinade, because I love mushrooms.

Because I never cook steak, I had no clue how to cook it! I ended up deciding to sear it on the stove and then finish it in the oven with the marinade. I added some olive oil, salt, and pepper to the asparagus and threw that in the oven as well.

The whole meal turned out delicious! I was shocked that I cooked the steak to a perfect medium-rare, and the boys (including Jerry) all loved it. Even though steak isn't a favorite food of mine, I really liked the marinade and the mushrooms. And of course I loved the asparagus! (Clearly, because I had a ton of it on my plate, haha)

It felt good to cook a good meal (with fresh veggies!) yesterday. And especially good to cook something that my kids were thrilled with. Today, I'll probably make the pork chops with Brussels sprouts (my kids actually love Brussels sprouts--I quarter them and then sauté them in coconut oil). I also have little baby potatoes (SO tiny--they are adorable!) so I'll roast those.

So after cooking and eating dinner, we went for a family walk (with Joey, of course) around the neighborhood. After that, I felt kind of rushed. Since I was supposed to be in bed at 8:30 to read my book for an hour before going to bed at 9:00, we had just enough time to watch a TV show together with a snack. I chose to have strawberries and blackberries (I've been craving fresh fruits and veggies SO much lately).

We watched an episode of House. My kids hadn't seen it, and I thought they might like it. We need a show to watch an episode of together in the evenings, so I've been trying to come with something they'll like. They can watch "adult" shows--for example, we watched Breaking Bad together--but I'm at a loss of another show that will keep them interested. If you have suggestions for a 14 and 15 year old, please let me know!

After our show, I felt kind of rushed to get in bed by 8:30 to read my book and then go to bed by 9:00. Just as predicted, I was falling asleep while reading in bed by 8:45! There is something about reading in bed that makes me SO tired.

I slept terribly, unfortunately. My carpal tunnel has been acting up since making the face masks and since I started knitting again. I know it's not from the drywall, because the motions aren't constantly repetitive like they are in cutting fabric or knitting/crocheting.

However, I'd like to make another batch of face masks if I can get a hold of some more fabric. I ordered a special presser foot for my sewing machine that should make it easier and take up less time. Sewing the elastic hair ties to the mask is such a pain! The new presser foot should make that easier. I can always have Jerry or the kids help me cut out the fabric and I can do the sewing to lessen the irritation to my carpal tunnel.

Waking up this morning was much harder than yesterday morning--but I did it! I was up at 4:30. Jerry and I had coffee/tea before he headed off to work. I'm going to work on some emails right now, and then either go look for fabric somewhere (I don't even know if JoAnn's is open).

Wow, this post is much longer than I thought it'd be. And so boring--I literally just recapped my day from yesterday! But like I said, there isn't much to write about during this quarantine, so this is it ;)

I hope everyone is safe and healthy!

Continue Reading...

What a Night! (And Other Stuff)

I don't have any good photos for this post, so I'll share a couple of random ones that have no relation to the post! Haha

Well, true to my word last night, I woke up at 4:30 AM with Jerry today! I'm surprised, actually, at how wide awake I felt when I got up. Maybe because I went to bed by midnight instead of 2:00-3:00. I think it helped that even though I wrote my blog post pretty late, I still read a few pages of a book while in bed, and that made me tired.

And my new sheets... they are AMAZING. Holy cow, I had no idea that there are sheets that feel that good. Since I don't use a flat sheet (with the duvet, we don't need one), I'm going to fold it in half and turn it into a throw blanket. I always have a throw blanket when I'm on the couch, and I would love one made of that fabric!

Tonight, I'm supposed to go to bed by 9:00. I feel like this is going to be so difficult! My kids are going to be up later than Jerry and me. But hopefully developing the bedtime routine I described yesterday will help.

I'm sure my body will be exhausted today. I'm going to work on the garage as long as I can physically manage. It's raining today, so it'll be a perfect day to get stuff done in there. I'm loving how it's turning out! I have two full walls done, and I've prepped the third wall to hang the drywall today. I may be able to get the whole third wall done today.

Noah wants to build a desk and I think it'll be a fun project for us to work on together. But my garage is a disaster right now! I have to keep moving things around and squishing them together in order to make room to drywall. I can't wait to have the use of my garage again!

Once the walls are done, we have to do the ceiling--I'm dreading that, because it seems so intimidating. However, we're going to rent a drywall lift, so it lifts the piece of drywall to the ceiling and holds it in place while I screw it in. Let's hope it's as easy at it sounds ;)

Here is a photo of my boys from yesterday. My dad restored a little row boat he had, and the kids are able to put it in the water right across the street from my house. It's perfect!

Yesterday, I went grocery shopping for the week, and I bought a load of healthy food. Jerry and I are both really unhappy with our weight gain and we want to get serious about losing the weight. Also, with the kids being home all day, they've been snacking way too much. I want them to at least have some healthy things to snack on.

I especially want to drop some weight before summer! Summer is so uncomfortable while overweight. I know I'm still over 70 pounds less than I was when I started losing weight, but the way I feel now seems the same as it did then: feeling heavy, out of breath, super self-conscious of how I look, and not fitting into my old clothes sucks. Thankfully, I can still wear my size 10 jeans that I bought when I finally accepted my weight gain. But in another five pounds or so, I don't know if I will be able to!

If this week goes well, I'd like to start Wednesday Weigh-Ins again. I know I'm always saying that, but I never stick with anything for long enough to see progress! I'm still continuing with the 3-3-1 goals (three goals for three days (twice in a row) and then one day off each week. (I don't mean a "cheat day"--I just mean that I won't have specific goals to meet.)

As I said a couple of days ago, I got all of the face masks mailed out. If you didn't receive an email from me, I'm so sorry, but I didn't send you a mask. I had a HUGE response for them, and I feel bad that I wasn't able to send them to everyone.

If I get the urge, I may buy some more fabric and make more.  But I'm not sure how much longer it'll be recommended to wear them... so we'll see! If I do make another batch, I will definitely post it again. (And I think I'll do a random drawing instead of first come first serve.)

Okay, I'm going to head out to the garage now and listen to my podcasts while I work. I know it sounds strange, but working in the garage with my podcasts is my favorite place to be :)

Continue Reading...

Developing a "Normal" Sleep Routine

For my entire life, I've had problems with sleep. Either I am dead tired and I toss and turn all night long, feeling so frustrated that I can't fall asleep; or, I am wide awake and I never feel tired at all. I can go to bed at 2:30 AM and wake up at 5:30 AM and feel totally fine!

A lot of times, it has to do with my bipolar--when I'm hypomanic, I can easily feel great on 2-3 hours of sleep. When I have depression, I tend to toss and turn, feeling SO tired but unable to sleep--and then I am just dragging all day from being tired.

I've never been a napper--even when I've tried, I simply CANNOT fall asleep during the day. I could be dead tired and still won't be able to take a nap.

In setting small goals lately, and trying to make positive healthy changes, I would really like to work on my sleeping patterns. I'll probably have to really force it at first, but I have a plan for how I'd like to make it work out.

Since Jerry works the day shift now, he wakes up at 4:45 AM. He really should be going to bed early--like 9:00 PM--but he stays up until about 10:30. Lately, I've been staying up until 2:30 or 3:30 AM, so he wakes up shortly after I go to bed! And then I wake up at 7:00 or so. It's been all over the place.

Ideally, I'd like Jerry and I to have the same schedule, so that we can go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time. I really wish that we were able to do it on MY schedule (night owl), but obviously we'll have to so what works with his schedule.

So, here is my plan:

Jerry gets home at 6:30 PM, so we'll eat dinner right when he gets home. After dinner, we will go for our family walk. Then we'll either play a game or watch a show with the kids while we have a bedtime snack.

At 8:30 PM, instead of watching TV before bed (right now, Jerry and I will usually watch TV and eat snacks--something that has become a really bad habit), I will read a book until 9:00 PM. Reading in bed always makes me SO tired... to the point where I'll even fall asleep for a split second and drop my Kindle on my face sometimes, haha. I think that by reading instead of watching TV before bed, I'll be tired enough to fall asleep early.

Then, I will wake up with Jerry in the mornings at 4:30 (kill me now!). We can have coffee/tea together before he leaves for work. I'll write a blog post after he leaves (usually I write posts after he goes to bed), so it'll be nice to have time to get that done early in the day.

I'm really hoping that making this a routine will help me develop a real sleep schedule--and that I'll get more sleep in general. I've been wanting to work on reducing stress and anxiety so that I'll stop gaining weight from emotional eating! Also, going to bed early just means less time for snacking in general.

I'm super excited, too, because coincidentally, our new Brooklinen sheets arrived today! As you know, I am obsessed with Brooklinen bedding. I've had the same set for a few years now, and I've been eyeballing their new Linen collection. We had the Luxe Sateen (and it's amazing), but when I saw that they came out with a Linen collection, I was in lust.

So, I bit the bullet and ordered the Brooklinen Linen collection (sheets, duvet cover, and pillow cases). They are AMAZING. I'm sitting up in bed typing this right now, and I just love the feeling of this bedding. They were expensive--I'm not going to lie--but considering I'm going to start spending one-third of my day in bed, I might as well be as comfy as possible!

(By the way, if you use this link and order anything from Brooklinen, you will get $25 off of an order over $100; and it gives ME a credit for $25. So, if you end up wanting new amazing sheets (or other items they sell--I haven't tried anything else), pretty please use that link. I am not affiliated with Brooklinen in any way, other than to say that I'm obsessed with their bedding!)

Okay, well, I'm going to go to sleep now because I have to get up at 4:30 AM! Let's hope that I can get some restful sleep. Good night :)

Continue Reading...

Cat Hair is Both a Condiment and a Fashion Accessory

I cannot even begin to describe how sore my body has been for the last few days! Hanging drywall in the garage has been killer on every single muscle in my body. I literally feel as sore as if I'd run a marathon.

I never imagined that hanging drywall would be as difficult as it is! I thought you just held a sheet of drywall in place and then screwed it into the studs and moved onto the next sheet. But it's so much more than that. Drywall is HEAVY.

I have to hang a 2x4 on the wall before placing the sheet of drywall up (I use the 2x4 to set the sheet on, because I obviously can't hold the ridiculously heavy drywall in place). I don't know how much each sheet of drywall weighs, but it feels like a ton!

Today was such a gorgeous day outside--I spent all morning and half the afternoon working in the garage, and I got the second wall done. It was very meticulous because I had to work around the garage door and all the gadgets that make it work.

I LOVE the way the garage is looking though--even though the drywall hasn't been taped and mudded or painted, it still looks a million times better than the bare studs.

While I was working on the garage, Jerry did some yard work (cutting the grass) and he washed our cars. I realized today that my car has half a tank of gas... and I haven't filled the tank in over a month! I actually ran an errand today and I forgot what it was like to drive for 10 minutes straight. I love that my car still has the "new car" smell ;)

Yesterday, I spent a couple of hours addressing envelopes and stuffing them with face masks. I haven't addressed that many envelopes since my wedding, haha! Today, I took them to the post office. I put the masks into business sized envelopes instead of the larger ones I used before, hoping that the postage would be cheaper.

I had about 50 envelopes, and I was really hoping that I could just put stamps on them instead of having the postal employee weigh each envelope for individual postage. Thankfully, I was able to ship them for $1.10! (I had to put two stamps on each envelope.) Previously, it'd been almost $4 per envelope.

(I haven't yet emailed everyone who is getting a mask... I will try to do that tomorrow!)

When I got home, I saw that Jerry had brought in the mail from the mailbox, and I got a package. Surprise packages are the best! It was from a blog reader--remember when I did a giveaway for the two Anne Taintor mugs? Well, the package I got today was a "thank you" package. I admit, when I read the card, I felt horrible--I thought that she'd confused me with someone else, because I couldn't remember sending anyone a "crazy cat lady" mug!

Hahaha, then I remembered the giveaway. Anyway, she sent me the sweetest card and this hilarious towel!

I legit laughed out loud when I saw it. When I was packaging the face masks, I was so worried about the masks having a cat (or dog) hair on them--I inspected them way too thoroughly. And then I even thought about including a note with the masks that read something about how you will always find pet hair on your clothes or in your food at my house.

It's inevitable!

There are even a couple of pet hairs forever embedded in my epoxy countertop, hahaha.

This afternoon, Becky stopped by with Luke and Riley (I made her a face mask, so she came to pick it up). We got to spend some time with the kids (from a distance) and it was great! I've missed them so much--and I can't believe how much they've grown. Riley is crazy smart and Luke is a chatterbox (as he always has been).

Eli and I made dinner together. My mom gave him some money to buy ingredients for a dinner that he wanted to make--and he chose to make some sort of Asian dumplings. While I was at the post office, Jerry took Eli to buy the ingredients at the store.

The prep for dinner was a lot of work, but it was nice to spend quality time with Eli. We stuffed wonton wrappers for what felt like forever! But they turned out to be really good. This is the recipe we used. We laughed a lot because we were horrible at shaping the dumplings, and every dumpling was shaped differently as we tried to make them look better.

It's been a long day! And I haven't been following my goals for the three-day challenge I made for myself. But you know what? I don't feel bad about it. I think going up and down the ladder in the garage and hanging drywall for hours burned WAY more calories than a three-mile run. And I literally can't even describe how sore I am (not to mention the bruises on my legs!).

I know I need to get to running so that I can train for the Detroit Half (I really will... soon!), but I really enjoy working on the garage, and it's serious exercise.

I also learned today that we are getting our kittens on Sunday! I am SO EXCITED. Jerry and the boys are, too. I can't wait to post pictures of them. The last time I had a kitten was nearly 20 years ago, when we got Chandler. This is going to be so much fun :)

Continue Reading...

RECIPE: Moroccan Meatballs over Orzo

This is one of my VERY favorite meals!

The thought of putting cinnamon in a savory dish seemed so odd to me, so I don't know what possessed me to try this. When I first made it, I was tempted to leave the cinnamon out, but chose to try it... and I'm so glad I did!  The combination of the cinnamon and the jalapeño really "make" this dish.

(Also, I have a memory of making this dish one time and getting jalapeño juice in my eye! My eye wouldn't stop burning, and Jerry was searching home remedies online while I panicked, doing all the remedies he could read. I tried EVERYTHING and the trick that finally worked was a paste of baking soda and water. Who knew?!)

Here is a printer-friendly version!

Moroccan Meatballs


Ingredients:

2 (14 oz) bags of frozen meatballs
1 Tbsp olive oil
1 onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 fresh jalapeños, minced
1 (15 oz) can diced tomatoes
1 (15 oz) can crushed tomatoes
1-1/2 tsp sugar
1-1/2 tsp ground cumin
1-1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp ground ginger
6 servings of cooked orzo

Directions:

Put the meatballs into a bowl and microwave for about 3-4 minutes to thaw them out.

Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add onion, garlic, and pepper, and cook gently until the onion is soft. Add the meatballs to the skillet, along with the sugar, cumin, cinnamon, ginger, and tomatoes. Bring the sauce to a simmer, then cover and cook over low heat for about 10 minutes, until meatballs are hot. Serve over orzo.

In the crock pot: Combine all but the orzo in a slow cooker and cook on low for 4-6 hours. Serve over cooked orzo.

Makes 6 servings.

Continue Reading...