Goals for 2026

Hello, hello! I have been starting every post with "it's been so long", "time is flying", etc. So I won't go into that. (Maybe nobody is even still reading--but I am finally writing.)

As you know from the past, I *love* setting goals for the new year. January 1st always feels so refreshing and hopeful. Despite all of the stuff I've been dealing with for the last few years, I am still feeling hopeful that things will turn around if I just keep working at it.

This year, I haven't set the type of goals I used to in the past. It feels overwhelming to me to think of running a race again, or reaching my goal weight, or something that is very concrete--black or white. Either I do it or I don't. So, this year, I am changing that approach.

Instead, I want to focus on developing good habits. Notice I say "developing"; I am not aiming for perfection, but progress. I want to feel better at the end of this year than I do now, mentally and physically. So, I wrote a list of things I'd like to work on. I'm not referring to using a "habit tracker" because I don't expect to fulfill everything every day.

I'm sort of following the Atomic Habits guidelines--learning the habits I hope to develop while doing the minimum to start out. For example, instead of saying I'm going to read one book a month, my goal is to read two minutes a day. Some days I'll just do the minimum, some days I'll get engrossed in the book and read for a couple of hours. And yet other days, I am sure I won't read at all for one reason or another. Like I said, I'm not aiming for a "streak" of perfection. That has never gotten me very far in the past. I'm trying to get out of the habit of being an all-or-nothing thinker.

That said, my list is pretty long, much longer than previous years when I've chosen a few "big" goals. These are the things I'd like to work on:

*Eat whole foods. Limit sweets as much as possible. Eat lots of veggies.

*Drink a lot of water. I've gotten out of this habit and I feel chronically dehydrated.

*Walk or run around the block--at minimum--daily. It's only 0.4 mile around the block and when walking with Joey (who is super slow and has to stop and smell everything) it takes me about 10 minutes. (Joey does get walked more than this; Jerry and the kids take him as well.) Ideally, I'll add a block once a month. Adding a block only adds about 0.15 of a mile, so it's not doubling the distance each month--definitely doable.

*Use the mini trampoline/rebounder twice a week for two minutes each time. I can do this after my walk. It's been sitting in the garage, unused, for a long time and I'd like to give it some use. Again, I would ideally like to add time spent on it; but this will increase over the course of the year rather than trying to do something like 30 minutes at a time right away. (My legs would never hold up for this--I can't believe how hard of a workout it is!)

*Reply to texts within eight hours. I know this sounds odd, but I am TERRIBLE at replying to texts (and even worse with emails). It causes me a lot of stress when I don't reply in a timely manner because I feel really bad, but I am SO slow at texting that it takes forever to type it out. I usually read texts within an hour or two, and I plan to reply when I can take the time to type it out, but then I end up forgetting (or I reply in my head and later realize I never actually did it). I know I can use voice-to-text, but the mistakes and bad grammar drive me crazy--I end up proof reading and changing it and it takes just as long. So, I need to either not worry about voice texts people may have to decipher or I need to take the time to type out a reply as soon as I read it. I chose eight hours because it would definitely be an improvement as of right now.

*Try my best to work through my inbox of email. I literally have emails from two YEARS ago that I haven't yet replied to (when readers take the time to write me, I like to take the time to write back). The reason they sit in my inbox is because I want to write a thoughtful and personal reply, which takes some time, and I don't carve out time for this.

*Hopefully post on my blog more often, ideally once a week. Even if it's just a "Friday Night Photos" type post, with or without the actual photos, to write about my week. Those posts are valuable to me because it's a type of journal of what I've been up to, and I like to have those memories written down.

*Send one card, via snail mail, per month to a friend. Getting "real" mail is always so fun, so I'd like to hopefully make someone smile when they get something that isn't a bill or advertisement or political propaganda.

*Stick to a simple cleaning schedule. I've always just done chores that looked like needed to be done rather than a schedule to keep on top of everything. I didn't make the schedule too complicated, and it's already made a difference in how I feel. My biggest one is making sure the kitchen is clean before I go to bed--no pots soaking in the sink, crumbs on the counters, etc. It's nice to wake up to a clean kitchen.

*Write one line a day in my five-year journal. This can take me less than 30 seconds, very simple.

*A one hour time limit on Reddit. Reddit is the only form of social media that I use, and I really don't post much there; but I do go down rabbit holes of posts and threads that interest me. And I'll end up clicking to outside links to articles, getting lost in those. I think one hour a day is a good amount of time. Again, I'm hoping for progress, not perfection.

*Sit outside (or walk) and just appreciate nature for two minutes a day. My therapist offers "walk and talk" sessions at a park next to his office and before we walk, he always takes a moment to look around and just take it all in with gratitude. I'd like to start seeing the outdoors with more appreciation.

*Learn to meditate. My brain is ALWAYS working at 100 miles per hour and I would love to learn to turn off all the noise in my head, even if it's only for a couple of minutes a day. Nita Sweeney (the author of one of my favorite memoirs, "Depression Hates a Moving Target") so kindly sent me her book called "A Daily Dose of Now", which is made up of 365 mindfulness meditation exercises that are very short and simple. I've done several of them with the intention of doing them daily, but then I forget and months go by.

*Do daily stretching for my back. My back pain has gotten so much worse over the last few years and my muscles are constantly tight. Becky (my brother's ex-wife) used to work as a massage therapist and when I was at her house in November, she explained to me my problem areas and how to address them (in addition to suggesting I get regular deep-tissue massages). My doctor also ordered physical therapy and I haven't taken the time to set that up, so that is on my list as well.

*Go on a date with Jerry once a month. We've gotten into a comfortable routine at home, and I think it would be nice for us to do something different once in a while. We are going to take turns planning a date each month, even if it's as simple as going to the movies.

There are a few others, but I want to keep those private.

So, that's a long list! But aiming for progress and not perfection keeps it from being too overwhelming. Per the Atomic Habits book, aiming for just two minutes can make a big difference over the course of a year. And ideally, I'll increase the time/distance/pages read/number/etc over the year. For now, though, I am keeping it as simple as possible.

Since I haven't been blogging, I also got out of the habit of taking photos. So I have very little to share! 

Here are a couple of recent sewing projects:

This one is is a quilt (slightly modified) from a pattern called the "It's A Lot" quilt. And as you can see, it's perfectly named! There is a LOT going on here but that's what I love about it; it was far from boring to work on. I enjoy looking at it when I'm using it because all the different blocks are interesting, and I have memories associated with a lot of the blocks (maybe a particular podcast I was listening to while working on it, or a mistake I had to fix, etc.) I pieced the top of this by machine, except for the appliqué "petals" (which took forever) and I hand-quilted it. I've found I much prefer hand-quilting to machine quilting.

I'm in love with this hoodie! I didn't make the hoodie itself, but I did the reverse appliqué on the front and it was my first time trying this technique. Basically, you trace the pattern on the back of a large piece of fabric and sew it to the inside of the hoodie. You sew along the lines of what you've traced (from the inside) and then you turn it right side out and cut away all the bits around the pattern shapes you've sewn. I love it because you don't have to cut out shapes of fabric! You just snip away the pieces around the shapes.

This is a goofy picture of Riley that I took when I was visiting in Minnesota. I brought her and Luke each a silly eye mask (because they fly a lot). When you look at her, it's hard to remember that it's essentially a blindfold and she can't actually see out of it.

This has been my favorite lunch lately and it's so healthy! It's a lentil salad with red peppers, onions, cucumber, chopped almonds, celery, and raisins. The dressing is a simple vinaigrette. Here is the recipe if anyone is interested: "The Best Lentil Salad" from Detoxinista. I use beluga (black) lentils, which have become a favorite because they hold their shape when cooked and don't get mushy.

And that's all I've got! I am going to try very hard to post more frequently (ideally would be once a week, but even once a month would be progress). I always get SO nervous when I think about posting, but I feel really good about it afterward. Again, thank you for thinking of me and I am so sorry that I have been so absent. Therapy has been very helpful so far and I hope that as I continue to work on myself, I'll feel much better. I hope you are all doing well! Until next time... xo.

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Goals for 2024

I've always written a post about goals for the new year on the first of the year, but time totally got away from me last month. (I don't like saying "New Year's Resolutions" because it sounds corny, but that's essentially what I do every January.) I honestly wasn't even sure what goals I was going to focus on this year. I like to try to learn from each year--what worked, what didn't, why it didn't, etc.

First, here is a look at how I did on last year's goals...

1. Get my weight back into my maintenance range of 125-135.

Haha! I'm in the same boat this year. I did, in fact, get back into my maintenance range and was at about 130 pounds for a long time until a few months ago--I was so sure I'd figured out how to stay there. But just like the end of 2022, I gained about 15 pounds. I've thought about changing my maintenance range, but I just don't feel physically comfortable when my weight gets to the upper 130's. I'm curious how things will go this year.

2. Run 500 miles (cumulative, of course).

How did I forget about this one?! I just looked at last year's post and this was written on there. I honestly do not remember writing it. Needless to say, I did not reach this goal--I only ran about 78 miles. However, I did start a daily running habit and I'm currently on a streak of 126 days. I only run a lap around my block (0.4 miles), but my aim was to build a daily habit. Even though I didn't hit 500 miles (or even 20% of that, haha), I'm very happy with the habit I've developed.

3. Complete one crafting project per month.

I may or may not have completed this. I do a lot of crafting, and I've been especially into sewing this year. I didn't keep track of what I was doing through the year, so I'm not sure if I hit this goal.

4. Expand my vocabulary.

I started this one by learning one new word each week, but I found myself completely forgetting about it. So, I decided to start learning Spanish on Duolingo instead. I do at least one lesson a day, and I'm on day 221 right now. It's kind of crazy when I think of how much I've learned in such a short time!

Despite not really hitting those goals last year, I am not even the slightest bit upset about it. The year 2023 was a crazy year and not in a good way. Just surviving was good enough for me ;)

I've decided to try a different approach with goals this year. I'm only going to have ONE goal and I'm going to put my focus on that one goal instead of several. I think having a solitary goal will make me more likely to achieve it. I'm still going to work on other things, as I always am, but I've narrowed down my list to just one.

Eat more vegetables.

So simple! Right? I've been vegan for almost two years now and my diet has gotten so much healthier. However, I still don't eat the recommended amount of vegetables each day. The more I learn about how diet affects health, the more I want to eat healthy. And vegetables are the healthiest food there is!

It's kind of funny--the one vegetable that my entire family likes is Brussels sprouts!

I know that the word "more" isn't specific, but I wrote it that way on purpose. I don't want to put a number on it because I don't want to measure out vegetables or have to hit specific numbers for variety or anything like that.

I've *really* liked reading and listening to "How Not To Die" by Dr. Michael Greger. He is an expert on nutrition and passionate about using food to prevent and even cure disease. Yes, those "experts" are a dime a dozen these days, but one thing that makes him stand out from the rest: He so badly wants to teach people about using food as nutrition that he donates every cent from his book sales and business to charity. His website is non-profit. He doesn't have any sponsors or ads on his site or anything that would suggest a hidden agenda. He's written thousands of articles with all of the studies to back up his research. He doesn't push products and he publishes only facts (backed by research). If there was ever an expert to trust in the diet industry, it's him (in my opinion).

He has a list of what he calls the "Daily Dozen"--a checklist of 12 things we should try to fit into our diet each day. It looks overwhelming when you see the list, but he said not to aim for perfection--it's just a guide to help make better choices. You can actually download the app with the checklist--it's free and there are no ads!--but here is the list (you should be able to click it to make it bigger):

I was surprised to see that I already get a lot of those things every day already. The missing ones are vegetables! To try to get more veggies this year, I'm going to do my best to follow this guideline for the Daily Dozen. That means eating leafy greens, cruciferous vegetables, and other vegetables daily.

I started working on this last week and I'm inspired to keep going. There are a lot of vegetables that I like, but I don't cook them often because I'm the only one in my house who likes them. Jerry will try anything I make and he never ever complains, but I feel guilty making food that I "know" he won't like. He's always telling me to just cook whatever sounds good to me and he'll eat it. I try to do this, but I just feel too bad.

Dr. Gregor writes about how your tastebuds change as you change your diet (something I've noticed many times over the years) and so Jerry and I made a two-week challenge for ourselves. It doesn't sound like much of a sacrifice on my part, but I promise you it is HARD for me--I have to cook meals that sound good to me but that I "know" Jerry won't like. (I put that in quotes because we don't actually know if he'll like it or not.) And in return, he's going to eat only whole foods (including the meals I make) to see if his tastebuds start to change.

We only started this yesterday, but it's been interesting. While I have anxiety over it, Jerry is excited about it, hahaha. I made sweet potato taco bowls yesterday--roasted sweet potatoes with black beans and corn, taco seasonings, quinoa with lime, and a spicy cashew cream sauce. It sounded heavenly to me! But I would never have made that because it's not at all something Jerry would choose.

He has also promised to be completely honest about what he thinks of the dinners I make. I don't want him to tell me he likes something if he really doesn't. I was very surprised at how much he liked the taco bowls yesterday! He said it's something he'd definitely eat again.

The vegetables that I'm excited about eating are sweet potatoes, cauliflower, and mushrooms. If I can find a mushroom dish that Jerry likes, I'll be so happy! I want to make it clear that this wasn't my idea--Jerry is actually pretty excited about doing this challenge.

Anyway, I've been working on the daily dozen (and I love that I'm not striving to have a perfect checklist every day). It's only been about a week, but I feel good about it. Maybe by the end of 2024, I'll be able to tick all the marks on the checklist!

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Atomic Habits: September

I probably should save this for next week, considering September isn't over yet, but I never actually wrote a post about this at the beginning of the month. I really wasn't sure how this was going to play out and I didn't want to make a big deal about it.

I know I've mentioned the book "Atomic Habits" several times already, but that is what prompted this whole "mission" (I'm not sure what to call it; basically, I want to change some habits, both good and bad). The book idea is simple: adding new good habits and breaking bad ones.

However, it is super helpful for figuring out a plan on HOW to do that. (I'm going to add a few Amazon links to products I have; in full disclosure, they are affiliate links which just means that if you should use the link to purchase, then I may get a commission. I'm not trying to push them; they are just products I have and find helpful.)

First, here is a link to the book "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. I listened to the audiobook first, and found it so helpful that I borrowed the Kindle book as well. The audiobook is really well done, if you prefer to listen rather than read. And it's not super long. (Actually, if you sign up for the free Audible "Premium Plus" trial on Amazon, you get to choose a book for free--and you can keep it! Even if you cancel the after the trial. I think that's how I got it.)

Several readers suggested the book Atomic Habits to me years ago, and I bought the audiobook with some Amazon credits I had--I just never got around to listening to it. When I saw the title "Atomic Habits" I immediately thought "huge"--I pictured an atomic bomb! But I learned that it's actually meant to be the complete opposite: "atomic" meaning minuscule, the size of an atom. Atomic habits are tiny little changes that eventually add up to big results.

"Here's how the math works out: if you can get 1 percent better each day for one year, you'll end up thirty-seven times better by the time you're done. Conversely, if you get 1 percent worse each day for one year, you'll decline nearly down to zero."  --James Clear, Atomic Habits

An example that helped me visualize this was to look at calories. If you eat 1% more calories than you burn every day, then you will gain a noticeable amount of weight over the course of a year. But if you eat 1% fewer calories than you burn, you'll lose weight. And either way, the change is so small that you barely notice it on a day to day basis. 

According to Atomic Habits, to build new habits, there are four "laws":

The Four Laws of Behavior Change are a simple set of rules we can use to build better habits. They are (1) make it obvious, (2) make it attractive, (3) make it easy, and (4) make it satisfying.

Each of those has key points that help you make a plan for implementing habits. I won't get into all of them (that's what the book is for), but here are a few that really helped me this month.

1) Make it obvious- I used what Clear calls habit stacking, which is where you follow one habit with another so that the first is basically a cue for the next. (I'll get into my own examples below.)

2) Make it attractive- I didn't make use of this one yet.

3) Make it easy- I used the "Two minute rule" and this was the biggest factor for me this month. The two-minute rule is simple: Downscale habits until they can be done in two minutes or less. (Again, I'll write my own examples below.)

4) Make it satisfying- I chose to use reinforcement, which means to give yourself an immediate reward when you complete your habit. I also chose to use a habit tracker, which is satisfying because you can see the progress on a chart.

First, I'll show you my habit tracker with the items I chose to work on this month:

Prior to reading Atomic Habits, I tried using trackers dozens of times and never got anywhere with them because I didn't make the habits "atomic". For example, I wrote "Read for 2 minutes" this month; two minutes might as well be nothing! Considering the two minute rule, however, the habit is doable. And eventually, the two+ minutes per day will lead to finishing books.

So, yes--this list of habits looks long. However, only a few of them take longer than two minutes. Here is how they played out for me:

1. Run around the block first thing in the morning.

Jerry was getting home from work right as I was getting home from my run, so he took a series of pictures--I'm wearing a headlamp, which is what the red light is from. I think the picture looks kind of cool!

I took any sort of preconceived running goal and threw it out the window. The sole purpose of putting this on my list was to get in the habit of running in the morning. Before reading the book, I would have written "Run 3 miles"--and then I'd procrastinate and quit shortly after. However, I chose "run around the block" because it's SO SHORT and I can be done with it before I even have time to change my mind.

Immediately after waking up, I change into my running clothes. Then I strap on my Garmin and Joey's leash (he LOVES this new running habit, by the way) and we head outside. We run one loop. Around my block is 0.41 miles, which is what we did for the first week. The second week, I decided to circle two blocks because it only adds 0.1 miles, making it a total of 0.52. (However, a couple of times I've only done one block; I don't ever want to hate it, so if I don't feel like doing more, I'm cool with that.)

The run takes a grand total of 4-6 minutes. And since I do it immediately after waking up, I don't even have time to think about it or talk myself out of it before I go. It's been 25 days now and I've run around the block every single morning. Without procrastinating. Without feeling like I should have done more. Without feeling like it doesn't really count because it's "only" half a mile.

I don't have future plans for this. If I want to add more distance later, I will. If I don't, I'm fine with just doing one loop of the block. Doing the 0.52-mile loop every day for a year will add up to 189.8 miles! In the past year (not counting this month), I only ran 54.7 miles total.

I've implemented the "satisfying" part into this habit as well. Right after my run, I make a cup of tea and I do the Wordle and Connections (New York Times puzzle games). I *love* the puzzles and I look forward to doing them, but I only do them after my morning run. It feels like a reward.

2. Take vitamin D and B-12.

This is simple. I had frequently been forgetting to take them or I'd take them at random times each day. However, I use habit stacking to make this a habit. While my tea steeps, I take my vitamin D and B-12--I keep the bottle with my tea bags so that I see it and remember to take it.

3. Drink 64 oz. of water.

I used to aim for a gallon. And I was having such a hard time reaching that! I used to drink that much when I was running a lot of miles, but for the past few years, staying hydrated has been a struggle. So, I changed it to 64 oz.

On Amazon recently, I found some water bottles that we used to have years ago--I loved them, but we lost them at some point. So, I bought two new ones.

(These water bottles are fantastic! They are the size and shape of a standard disposable (16.9 oz) bottle. The plastic is very good quality, and the whole top of the bottle can be removed for cleaning or adding ice. I'm kind of a water bottle hoarder, but these are (hands down!) my very favorite ones. Here is the link to Amazon.)

The goal is to drink four of them throughout the day, so after I drink one, I refill it and put it in the fridge and pull the other one out. I like to add a packet of True Grapefruit (it's not sweetened or anything--it's just a tiny amount of crystalized grapefruit juice). Here is the link to the True Grapefruit on Amazon. I actually wrote a review/giveaway of these WAY back in 2012, and you can find that post here.)

4. Clean kitchen counters before bed.

This is just one little chore that I would always used to put off until morning. I always feel like the house is gross when the counters are dirty, so I just feel better when they are clean before I go to bed. I used habit stacking for this by doing them immediately after dinner.

5. Do 3 back stretches before bed.

After dealing with chronic pain from 2018-2022, my back had gotten SO STIFF. I was kind of stunned recently when I realized just how little flexibility I have. A lot of it is due to a messed up disc that has caused problems for as long as I can remember, but the new chronic pain made me avoid any movement at all that would aggravate it. Anyway, the point is, I want to have some flexibility. And if there is any chance that I can help the disc in my back through exercises/stretching, I am willing to do it.

I used to make a whole list of stretches and vow to do them every day; and then I'd quit after a day or two. This time, I chose the two-minute rule: three back stretches that I learned in physical therapy, done for 30 seconds each (with 10 seconds rest in between). Using the foam roller (especially this particular stretch) has actually helped tremendously! It took about a week to feel any difference, but I've definitely noticed an improvement.

As anyone who has a cat knows, this is what happens when you try to do any sort of exercise on the floor:

Pardon me, just let me put my butthole in your face while you do that.

Chick, Duck, and even Phoebe have to check out what I'm doing.

That stretch on the foam roller feels amazing, by the way. It was my favorite at physical therapy.

6. Take iron supplement.

I'm still working on building up my ferritin level, so I'm continuing my iron supplement. I always take this right before eating dinner so that it becomes a habit.

7. Journal one line.

I've always loved the "Five Year" or "One Line A Day" journals because they only take a minute or two. I have a Five Year Journal and I love it. I've actually bought it as a gift for a few people, too. If you're not familiar with a five-year journal, it's a really cool concept; there are 365 pages (one for each date), with lines divided into five sections. Each page is marked for the date, and each paragraph section is where you write for the current year (you just fill in the last two digits of the year and then circle the day of the week).

So during the first year, you write a brief entry--just a couple of sentences about your day or whatever--on the first section for each date. Then the following year, you go back to the beginning of the journal and write a new entry for that date in the spot below it. It's neat to see what you wrote the year prior, or the year before that--kind of like the "memories" notifications on Facebook. (Here is the Amazon link to the one that I have, but if you search "five year journal", there are several. I like this one--it's not too small, not too big, and the pages are thick.)

8. Read for 2 minutes.

Again, I use the two minute rule for this. Sometimes I just don't have time to read or I don't feel like reading, so I will literally just read for two minutes (well, I usually finish out the page, so maybe a little longer). Most of the time, I get caught up in the book and end up reading for 20-30 minutes. I'm still reading Demon Copperhead--it's SO good! I'm just a slow reader, which is why I haven't finished it yet.

9. Do one Duolingo lesson.

One of my New Year's goals was to build my vocabulary with one new word each week. I wasn't doing great with remembering to do that, so instead, I started using Duolingo to learn Spanish. I took four years of Spanish in high school, but I remembered very little. The Duolingo app is free and each lesson only takes a couple of minutes. Most of the time I end up doing three of them, but doing at least one a day has helped me learn a lot!

I feel like I'm about to the point of where I stopped learning in high school, and I've only done it for 140 days or so. This is one of those habits that really shows how improving just a tiny bit each day will eventually add up.

10. Floss before bed.

This one is just one of those things that only takes a minute, but I just don't want to do. I guess I just feel like it's not totally necessary because I floss after breakfast every day (I put chia seeds in my cereal, and they always get stuck in my teeth). However, it feels good to go to bed with a totally clean mouth, which includes flossing. I use the water flosser now, so it goes much more quickly. I use habit stacking for this. I change into pajamas, do my back stretches, brush my teeth, then floss before getting into bed. The whole thing takes five minutes or so.

Funny story: A couple of days ago, I dropped the ball to one of my earrings down the drain in the bathroom sink. I was super bummed, and even though it was really tiny and probably hopeless to retrieve it, Jerry wanted to try. So he unscrewed the pipe under the sink to look. And then I noticed a little seedling growing in the drain--it was from a chia seed! Hahahaha.

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As you can see from my Habit Tracker, this is day 25 of doing these every. single. day. I can feel them becoming mindless habits! It's amazing how much of a difference reading the book has made--the "two minute rule" is invaluable to making these stick. I always have a tendency to get overzealous (in pretty much everything I do) and that's why it's so hard to stick to. Breaking these down into "atomic" size habits made them very doable--and actually enjoyable!

I'm only making a few changes for October's habits, but I'm keeping most of them the same until they truly become automatic and I do them without thinking (or having to check the tracker to make sure I did them).

You can find a ton of different habit trackers on Amazon (or free printable ones, I'm sure). The one that I have is no longer available, but here is the link to a similar one, as well as the pens/markers I use. I love these! The tip is firm like a pen, but they write like a marker and best of all--they don't bleed through the paper. I even use them in my five-year journal. The tracker has a section for weekly and monthly habits as well as the daily ones, but I haven't used those yet. I want to get the daily habits down first.

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A Unique Challenge for February

Challenges, goals, challenges, goals... many of you are probably thinking, "Katie, will you EVER learn?! Finish the goals you already started before setting new ones!"

Well, I can just blame bipolar, right? ;)  Seriously, though, this isn't anything major--and it's just for a month. February. I deliberately picked the shortest month of the year for this!

In pinpointing my snacking habits and why I'm having such a hard time breaking the bad habits, I came up with a solution that I am 100% certain will work. The problem is that I have to be 100% compliant, haha.

When the kids were little, we used to sit down for dinner (almost) every evening at the dining room table and eat together as a family. As the kids got older, we started watching TV while eating, and then eating at separate times that are convenient for each of us, and then the worst--eating in our bedrooms.

Once in a while I notice my kids carry a huge pile of dishes out of their bedrooms to the kitchen and it infuriates me--if they're going to eat in there, at the VERY LEAST they need to put their dishes away immediately! But honestly, we shouldn't be eating in our bedrooms at all.

I've also gotten to the point where I feel like I need to multitask 100% of the time, which includes eating. Eating just for the sake of eating seems so--boring? unproductive?--to me. I can't imagine myself snacking at night if I literally just sat down at the table for a snack. No phone, no book, no TV, nothing. I wouldn't want to eat!

Soooo... you can see where this is leading. For the month of February, I'm going to challenge myself to eat ONLY at the table and with ZERO distractions. I can eat whenever and whatever I want, sticking with my usual vegan diet, but it must be eaten at the table and with no distractions.

This isn't anything profound, I know. It's discussed in all of the "intuitive eating" and "non-diet" type books. I'm not doing this for any reason other than to hopefully get a jumpstart on breaking the bad snacking habit. Will I continue to do this forever? Ha! I will be pleasantly surprised if I make it through three days.

My only exceptions will be for ice (because I'm obsessed with chewing ice and I literally cannot fathom giving it up) and for tea at night. (Oh, and water.) I'm hoping to replace my snacking with a good cup of hot tea. (Definitely not the same I know, but I can dream.)

The only other exception I can think of would be is if I'm eating with other people--if we get together with Dave and Renee, for example, we might snack while playing Euchre. But I can only foresee that situation occurring maybe once or twice.

I asked Eli if he'd like to try it, too, because he's notorious for eating in his bedroom. I picture this to be even harder for him than it is for me! I'd like to think of an award for him if he does it--he does best with an incentive. Remember I offered him $365 if he could go a year without pop? (He was super addicted to it.) He did it! So, maybe he'll surprise me. 

Mostly, though, I want an incentive for MYSELF. Yes, it's childish; I'm an adult and I should do what's right whether I get anything out of it or not. But this is going to be one of the hardest challenges I've ever tried. So, I'll have to think about it tomorrow and then decide what my incentive will be before I begin on February 1st. Maybe we should start a pool of how long I'll actually last on this one ;)

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The Rad Rabbit Run

We're only two weeks into the new year, and already I'm struggling with all the goals I set out to do. After having such a tough time in 2022, I was excited for 2023 to be a new beginning. Well, as it turns out, not a single thing changes between 11:59:59 PM on December 31 and 12:00:00 AM on January 1.

I knew this, of course. It's like my birthday; when I turned 40, I hadn't suddenly aged enormously between January 24 and January 25 last year. But I have always loved new beginnings--and new years are my favorite!

This year didn't start out so well. The biggest factor has been the change in my insurance (which Jerry and I discovered why all the changes--we'd switched plans, thinking that we were doing the right thing, but it turned out to be very, very wrong). Jerry filled out some paperwork to hopefully allow us to switch back to our previous insurance plan, but there are no promises, and we won't find out for 5-6 weeks.

My medication change has been a bit trying, for lack of a better word. The side effects have been noticeable: I'm more tired, I feel sad/depressed, very irritable, lack motivation, and want to eat pretty much everything. If it continues for a another week or so, I'll talk to my doctor about either changing the dose or switching meds again. I'm so bummed that I've had to deal with this when my previous medication was working so well.

I didn't have abnormally huge goals for the new year: 1) Get my weight back down to maintenance range and stay there; 2) Run 500 miles total for the year; 3) Completely one project per month; and 4) Expand my vocabulary. Because I used the S.M.A.R.T. method to plan my goals, I felt like I had a solid plan for success.

It's not too late--I know that--but I just feel like getting off to such a slow start is disheartening. My weight isn't going down and I'm worried I'm just going to keep gaining. I've only run six miles so far this year--I have reasons, but I know that they are only excuses. I did complete a project this month (my cross stitch, among a couple of other things). And I did select a vocabulary word to learn, but I was supposed to have done one per week--so I'm behind a week.

I realize that these aren't that big of a deal and that I can get back on track quickly, before it gets too out of hand. The hardest one is my weight! Especially if this medication has something to do with it.

To get away from the Debbie Downer stuff, I got a phone call from my younger brother, Nathan, yesterday. He asked me, "Hey, are you still running?" I laughed and told him yes--every morning, in my head, I am ready to head out for a run. Then I just don't. He said he's been trying to get back into it too, but he's only doing a couple of miles every other day.

Leap Year 4-Miler, 2016 (How lucky I was I to get number 44 for this race?!)

He was wondering if I'd be interested in doing a race with him in the near future. Normally, I would have said no immediately. But Nathan never asks me to do anything! I wish I had a better relationship with him (it's not that we aren't on good terms--we just don't have much in common and we never really talk). The only thing we've ever really had in common was running.

The Santa Hustle at Cedar Point in 2014

I thought just because we do a race together doesn't mean I have to run it fast or try for a PR or anything. I can just run it like I would any other easy run; it would just be something to do with my brother. He said he'd like to do a 10K, so it would give him something to work toward (we could both run a 5K right now if we wanted--certainly not FAST, but we could finish it). A 10K requires some training to build up endurance.

So, I said sure--I'd do a 10K race with him. I looked some up and we decided to do one called the Rad Rabbit Run and it's in one of the Metroparks in Michigan. It's up north of Detroit--about an hour and 15 minutes away--but it looks like a nice course and neither of us has done it before.

This is perfect timing for me to work on the mileage I need in order to hit my goal of 500 miles this year. Knowing that I'll be running this race with Nathan (and that I won't want to let him down), I'll be forced to train for it.

Cheering on Nathan at his first marathon in Detroit in 2014

To train, I decided to use my own 10K Plan for Beginners. It has four runs per week: one day being speed work (relatively simple stuff, alternating between sprints and tempo runs each week); two days of short, easy runs; and one day is a long run (which starts at just 2.5 miles and gets progressively longer each week). I'm not going to be focused on heart rate or speed. I'm just going to run my easy runs so that they feel easy and I'll push myself during my speed work. I want to keep it as simple as possible!

There are just under 12 weeks until the race and the training plan is only 8 weeks long, so I'm going to add some extra weeks in there to build a better base. I haven't been running consistently for a while! I'm sure I'll use the treadmill as well as running outside--just whatever I feel like doing that day.

Maybe the running will help me to want to eat better and I'll be able to be more focused on that goal as well. Working on a project each month is easy, and the vocabulary word each week should be easy if I would just remember to do it!

Actually, I'll pick a vocabulary word right now: AUSPICIOUS. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary: Auspicious- showing or suggesting that future success is likely.

So, while the beginning of 2023 hasn't exactly been auspicious, maybe training for this race will help turn things around ;)

If anyone is interested in signing up for this race (I’d love to meet you!) if you use this link I might get a partial refund or something: https://runsignup.com/Race/MI/Utica/BadRabbit5k10kFamilyMile?raceRefCode=MoubJkhK

Well, here goes nothing…!

The Glass City Relay in Toledo in 2014

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A Look At My 2022 Goals

I was kind of afraid to open my January 1st post from last year because I'd completely forgotten what goals I'd chosen to work on. The only one I could remember was that I wanted to eat more fiber. Usually, that's what happens--I write out some goals and then in the long run, I tend to just focus on one of them. Not ideal, but definitely better than nothing!

I'm curious how I did as far as the goals I set for myself a year ago, though. So, here they are... and my thoughts on them.

1. Lose the rest of the weight I gained between 2018-2020.

I started last year at 161 pounds and I *really* hoped to get down to 130-135, but I didn't set a an actual goal. I planned to focus on eating more fiber rather than trying to cut things out.

Thoughts: I definitely reached this goal! Well, by "definitely" I actually mean kind of, haha. I got my weight down to 125 for a short time, but have since gained 15 pounds. I wish I could say I was surprised, but I have never been able to get the hang of maintenance. If I can do that, I will be thrilled.

This is a comparison of my first weigh-in in 2022 (157.6) and my last weigh-in in 2022 (140.4). I didn't think I'd see a difference, but looking at them side by side, I definitely do.

I never expected to make such a huge change in my diet, though. In a good way! First, I started eating a LOT more fiber and that alone made a big difference in the sort of foods I was eating (healthier for sure). Then at the end of January, I became vegan for ethical reasons and it changed my diet dramatically (again, for the better). After eating vegan for nearly a year, I feel better than ever--the biggest change being that I eliminated my chronic pain. I never imagined that would be possible.

I also wanted to drink four liters of water each day and I certainly failed at this one. I did really well for a while, knowing that if I didn't drink a lot of water while eating so much fiber, I was going to be miserable with stomachaches. When I was running regularly, I had a much easier time drinking four liters of water each day; several years ago, it wasn't unusual for me to drink even more than that! This is something I need to continuously work on because I always feel so much better when I'm well-hydrated.

Overall, I think I succeeded in this goal. My weight is in a healthy range and my food choices are better than they've ever been. I still need to drink more water though.

2. Run at least three miles, three days a week.

Thoughts: This was a fail from the very beginning. I'm not sure what happened--I don't really want to go back and sift through my posts--but I only ran a few times at the beginning of January and then sporadically from then on. I did well in February and March, then again in August and a couple of weeks in September.

Getting into a routine and having a good streak going is the hardest part. It's so easy to put it off! Running three miles, three days a week doesn't take much time at all; there is no reason I couldn't have done this (unless I was injured, I suppose). I just had a very hard time with a lot of things in 2022, and running wasn't at the top of my priority list. Hopefully I can get back to it this year!

3. Work on practicing people's love languages.

Thoughts: I was definitely more conscious of this, but I didn't keep it at the front of my mind; I could have done better. I'm especially bad with physical touch, which is Jerry's love language. It's not that I'm turned off at the thought of holding hands, hugging, kissing, etc., but I just don't ever think of it! It doesn't occur to me to do those things (unless it's a habit like giving him a hug and kiss before he leaves for work). I really want to work on this--I want him to *feel* loved, even though I tell him all the time.

I was definitely more conscious of the love languages with my kids and I worked hard to practice those. The main focus was that I made sure I ignored any distractions while they were talking to me. If I was writing a blog post, for example, and they wanted to ask me a question or tell me something that went on that day, I closed my computer and gave them my full attention.

The 5 Love Languages is SUCH an amazing concept. If you haven't read the book, I highly recommend it! It's short read and it's truly life-changing. (I wrote a review of the book here)

4. Start moving my body first thing in the morning, despite the chronic pain.

Thoughts: I was used to being inactive in the mornings because that's when my pain was the worst. I had a hard time doing anything, especially walking or using my hands. This goal didn't really apply after a couple of months, once I realized that my chronic pain was gone. I never ever would have believed that eating a vegan diet would get rid of my pain, but there is really no other explanation.

I used to have a very hard time getting out of bed--trying to sit up and then stand was very painful--but now I have no problem with it. I wish I could say that I started my day by being active first thing, but clearly, I didn't do that. I am certainly productive, though--I don't have to sit for an hour and half before being active. I start my day right away.

5. Work on people skills.

Thoughts: I've always been socially awkward and shy, so people skills have never been my forte. I wanted to learn how to make small talk and just feel more natural when talking to people I don't know.

I have been doing really good with this one! To others, it may not seem like much at all; but I've been deliberately talking to strangers in public spaces (at the store, in waiting rooms, basically wherever the opportunity presents itself). I still overthink everything--I have to kind of hype myself up to say something, but I've always felt really good after an interaction.

While I was in the waiting room for therapy, I actually had a conversation with a guy about talking in waiting rooms, haha. The waiting room there is usually empty, or there is only one other person--and it feels awkward! In waiting rooms now, everybody just takes out their phone and plays around with their apps. It made me start thinking about what waiting rooms were like before smart phones; there is still a magazine rack in most of the waiting rooms I've been in and it makes me wonder if people ever read them anymore. Anyway, I brought this up and we actually had a good conversation for a few minutes. It felt much less awkward than sitting in a waiting room with one other person and having it be dead silent.

Overall, I consider this goal a success. I can continuously work on this, but I've gotten much better at it.

Well, that actually wasn't so bad! Other than my running goal, the goals weren't measurable; so my results were more on a spectrum than a concrete succeed/fail. I'm pretty happy with how I did.

Next year, looking back at my goals for this year will be interesting. Since I used the SMART method for setting my goals, it will be a succeed/fail result. This is not to say that I can't improve something, because I certainly can. But because the goals are measurable, I will either have done it or will have not. I guess we'll find out in 12 months! :)

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Goals for 2023 (using the SMART method)

Here it is--a fresh new year! As a list maker (I have notebooks filled with lists--I just like to write things out in list form, I guess), I love this time of year. I write lists of things from the previous year as well as lists for the upcoming year--everything from goals to books I want to read to projects I want to make.

My favorite list, though, is always a list of goals. To call them New Year's Resolutions is cliché, and I suppose they are; but I never feel as excited about working on goals as I do on the morning of January 1st. I try to keep them from being the typical "lose weight" and "eat healthier" resolutions. I like to be specific.

Do I always reach my goals? Ha! I would say that out of all of my New Year's goals, I probably only accomplish one or two. However, that is one or two things that I wouldn't have accomplished otherwise, so I call it a win. I'll write about how I did with last year's goals on another post.

For now, I'll write out a list of my goals for 2023. I've only chosen four goals and this year, I am going to use the SMART method for (hopefully) achieving them! The SMART method is something I learned waaaay back in elementary school. Goals should be:

So, here are my goals and how they fit into the SMART method...

1. Get my weight back into the goal range of 125-135 and work on maintenance habits.

I worked very hard to take off the weight I lost between May 2021 and September 2021, and I'll be damned if I gain it all back. I'm still trying to get it to settle on a number (or range) but that is super difficult for me. I got down to the mid 120s, and then gained back 15 pounds shortly afterward.

Now I'm over my goal range, but it makes me wonder if I should change my range. I have no idea! I'm going to try to get my weight down to around 130, give or take a few pounds, over the next two months. And then I'll see what I can do to maintain it. (Yes, I've done this several times before, but I'm going to have to try out different maintenance habits until I find something that sticks.) In a perfect world, I'd be able to maintain my weight without counting calories or following some sort of plan. I was able to do this for a while in 2022, but then I just got carried away with snacking.

For January, I've decided to log my food and count calories. The main reason for this is to see where most of my calories are going and if I'm getting all of the nutrients I need on a vegan diet. Once I can analyze that and spot any problem areas, I may stop calorie counting and work on the habits I need to address (ahem, snacking).

SMART:

Specific (Get my weight down to my goal range of 130-135)
Measurable (Weigh-ins and food logs)
Achievable (I've done it before)
Relevant (I want to be healthy and feel comfortable in my own body)
Time Bound (Two months, but since I can't control the rate of weight loss, this isn't set in stone)

2. Run 500 miles.

Spread out over the year, of course ;)  I don't usually do yearly mileage goals, so I thought this might be fun. I can spread them out however I'd like--500 miles would equal about 42 miles per month, 9.62 miles per week, or 1.37 miles per day. I'll aim for two 3-mile runs and one 4-mile run each week, but adjust as needed. I think it will be fun to fill in a chart and have a nice visual for the year!

SMART:

Specific (Run 500 miles)
Measurable (Tracking distance with my Garmin and a chart)
Achievable (It's within my ability; I just need the discipline to do it)
Relevant (I want to get and stay in shape for my health)
Time Bound (One year)

I printed out this cute tracker to log my miles--you color in one little spot for each mile, and it will be entirely filled in after 500 miles. Yes, I like tracking the old fashioned way! (You can find it here)

3. Complete one crafting project per month.

A "project" is basically something that I do by hand--knitting, woodworking, sewing, restoring furniture, etc. This is more for my mental health than anything. I really enjoy doing crafts and if I aim to work on completing one item each month, it'll give me something to work on a little at a time.

And because I'm trying to be specific in my goals for this year, I came up with a list of types of crafts to choose from--there are 12 here, so I'll choose one each month to work on. I like the idea of a different crafting technique each month!

Knit
Crochet
Sew
Cross Stitch
Woodwork
Furniture Restore
Clothing Alteration
Latch Hook
Weave
Papier Mâche
Origami
Adult Coloring Page

The only things that I'm pretty unfamiliar with are weaving, and papier mâche. The only origami I've done has been with dollar bills that I took to Punta Cana for tipping the staff--they loved the folded bills!--so I don't have much experience with that. I already have the stuff to do most of these things, so overall, it will be pretty inexpensive.

For January, I'm going to choose cross stitch. I already started it last month, but I'm only about halfway done. I underestimated just how much time it would take to complete--I work on it a little each evening before bed, and I thought I would have finished it a long time ago.

SMART:

Specific (Complete one craft each month)
Measurable (A finished project)
Achievable (Definitely within my limits, assuming I choose something relatively small)
Relevant (Good for my mental health)
Time Bound (One item per month)

4. Expand my vocabulary.

Until I started reading from a Kindle Paperwhite, I never bothered to look up words that were unfamiliar to me because it was inconvenient. While reading on the Kindle, when I come across a word that I've never seen before, I just tap it and read the definition. I've learned a lot of new words this way! It even helped me get a few of the Wordle puzzles.

To work on this goal, I printed out flashcards (there are MANY more than 52, but I didn't want to sort through them). I cut and folded them, put them in a mason jar, and now I'll randomly draw a paper each week, read the definition, and try to use the word wherever I can. I'll tape the card to the fridge so that I can see it frequently. So, you may see some words that stand out or look out of place on my blog posts, haha.

SMART:

Specific (Expand my vocabulary by one new word each week)
Measurable (Listing each word as I learn it)
Achievable (One word at a time is definitely achievable)
Relevant (Because learning and stuff!)
Time Bound (Weekly-one word each week for a year)

This three-minute clip is from the Friends episode where Joey uses a thesaurus to write a recommendation letter so that he sounds smarter. The end result is hilarious!

And there it is... my list of four SMART goals for 2023. I really liked writing these out with the SMART method because I feel like I have an agenda not just for a year, but broken down into segments to focus on. We'll see if it helps me achieve them!

Anyone else have new year's "resolutions"/goals? Please share! It's inspiring to see what other people are doing.

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Three Things Thursday: Last Minute To-Do's

The end of a year and the beginning of the next mean that I write a lot of summaries and a lot of goals. There is something about a new year that feels so nice! But I'm getting ahead of myself. Being the 29th, there are only a couple of days left in 2022. And I am going to make it count by doing a few last-minute things so I can start 2023 without having them on my nagging list of to-do's.

The nagging list is basically made up of things that I should have gotten done by now but I just put off for whatever reason. Either I'd rather be doing something else or I'm just too lazy to get them done. And then they nag at me, over and over, until I finally just do it!

So, here are three things that I want to get done before the new year rolls around. Yes, that's two days from now.

1. Dye my roots already.

My gray hairs are probably a good four inches long right now. The last time I colored them was in early August! I notice them more and more by the day and they almost kept me from going to a friend's get-together last weekend. That's really bad. So come Sunday, my grays will not be gray anymore.

Maybe you can't see it well here because of the selfie-quality photo, but they are glaringly obvious to me!

2. Finish the shelves in the bathroom closet.

I would have been done with these a while ago if not for the router on my router table breaking down. I've had to find a work-around for a lot of it and it's taking much longer than it should. I worked on the shelves for a while today and then got to the point of needing the router again. I think I'll work on that tonight if it's not too cold in the garage. Once I finish installing the shelves, I have to paint them. I don't think I have enough paint, so I'll have to make a trip to Sherwin Williams tomorrow to pick some up. But I *will* get these shelves done before the new year!

3. Sort and organize my tools and hardware.

Since remodeling the bathroom and bedroom, I have tools everywhere. It's a completely chaotic mess and trying to find what I need is a nightmare. I also have a catch-all for random screws and little pieces of hardware, so I want to sort those and put them in their respective containers. I just want everything to be organized and in one place again instead of all over the house and garage!

There it is--short and simple, but three things that are super nagging. I remember reading somewhere that all of the little things that nag at you every day cause more stress than one or two big things. For example, you have a snag in your rug and every time you walk over it, you think, "I need to cut that"; it eats away at you over and over again, sometimes for months on end, until you FINALLY do it, even though it would literally take less than 90 seconds to grab the scissors and cut the loose fiber.

While my list has a few things more time consuming than snipping a snag, they are things that I should be able to knock out really quickly if I just DO IT ALREADY. I will feel so much better once those things aren't on my mind! (And yes, as vain as it sounds, my gray roots have been taking up mind space.)

When this posts, I'll have 50 hours until the new year. Ready... set... GO!

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Three Things Thursday

Today is day three of 75 Hard and also Three Things Thursday... so I thought I'd write about three things that I hope to accomplish by doing the 75 Hard challenge. I have to say, it's been harder than I expected! Not necessarily physically, but mentally (which is the whole point of the challenge in the first place--a mental toughness challenge). I can definitely see how this builds discipline; it invalidates any excuses I might come up with.

The last time I started 75 Hard was in 2020 during the pandemic. When we were on lockdown, I obviously had a lot of free time on my hands--so it was perfect timing for a challenge like this. Now, being busy, it's definitely tougher. Which is a good thing! If it was easy, there really wouldn't be a point to doing it.

Anyway, here are three things I hope to accomplish within the next 72 days:

1. Get back into a running routine.

While I don't have particular running plans right now, I do want to get back to running at least three days a week--preferably five. If my body is cool with it, I'd like to build up my mileage again, too. Reading 'Running & Being' by Dr. George Sheehan has started to make me remember what I felt like when I was running 10 miles with ease, or disciplined enough to run six days a week (200 miles a month) when marathon training for Chicago in 2013.

Being older now and not really interested in racing, I would like to run for the "high" of it. To feel really damn good after running. I remember what it was like to go for a cold 10-mile run and be home by 8:00 in the morning, showered and ready for the day by 8:30. It was awesome!

I don't have the desire to run a marathon or even half-marathon (I'm not saying "never"--because who knows what will happen later on?--but I don't have interest in it right now.

However.

I have this really crazy goal in mind that I'm hesitant to post here because I could very well change my mind and admit to myself just how ridiculous it sounds. David Goggins has this challenge called 4x4x48... which means running 4 miles every 4 hours for 48 hours. It's not a speed challenge--you can definitely take walk breaks or run really slowly (or even do another exercise entirely); but the point is to go 4 miles every 4 hours for 48 hours straight. Crazy, right?!

When you do the math, it adds up to a LOT of miles--if you were to do a 15:00/mile pace, for instance, you'd go 48 miles in 48 hours. I'm familiar with running on tired legs with little to no sleep from doing three Ragnar races--but those don't even compare to this. Even mentally, this will be a lot tougher because you don't have a team cheering for you or the excitement of a race or anything like that.

Anyway, if I'm serious about this, I have to start training for it NOW. So I'm going to run a few times this week and see how I feel about it. I went for a run today and I didn't hate it ;) 

2. Get in the habit of a good daily routine.

It's hard to follow that first one, because that's such a huge goal! But on a much easier scale, another thing I'd like to accomplish by the end of this challenge is to get in a good daily routine--waking up at the same time every day, eating at roughly the same time when possible, exercise (whatever my choice may be) in the mornings, read a book before bed, and then lights out at a particular time.

Right now I'm still figuring out the best routine for me, but over the next couple of months, I hope to see what my body likes best. It would be especially nice if I could figure out a good sleeping pattern to combat my insomnia. Maybe if my body gets used to lying down a particular time every night and getting up at the same time every morning, it will allow me to sleep!

3. I'd like to start doing strength training exercises.

I just don't like them and I've avoided them for years! When I was in college, I loved using the weight machines in the gym. I even took an ACE certification class to be a personal trainer (although, like with my running coach certification, I never intended to take on clients--it was more for my own knowledge and credibility). I worked at Curves for a couple of years and I loved doing the machines there as well. Curves was actually a really good cardio + strength program now that I look back on it.

Anyway, I don't have interest in joining a gym--it would take me just as long to drive to and from than it would to do a workout--but I know a ton of strength exercises I can do at home. Even just doing a short body-weight strength routine would be better than nothing. (I could go to the rec center if I really wanted, but it's at the high school and full of teen boys--as far from ideal as I could get, haha.)

I'm not going to dive in with a big routine, but over the next 72 days, I can do strength workouts here and there until I figure out what I enjoy the most. Ever since turning 40, I've been thinking more and more about my health--and I *know* how important strength training is. I just need to quit the excuses for not doing it!

So, there you have it--three things I hope to accomplish over the next 72 days:

1) Get back in a good running routine, possibly build up mileage and do a (super-crazy) goal of completing a 4x4x48 challenge.
2) Develop a good daily routine for my body.
3) Start strength training.

Aside from the 4x4x48 challenge, I think those are very doable things to work toward and accomplish by the end of the 75 Hard challenge (January 14, 2023). Maybe I'll aim to do the 4x4x48 on my birthday--January 25th. But I'm getting way ahead of myself--it's only day three. We'll see how I feel on day 30 or 40 or 50... haha!

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Wednesday Weigh-In: Goal Weight Talk

When I first started losing weight in 2009, I had no idea what my goal weight was going to be. I was 253 pounds, and I guessed that I would probably be happy at around 175. I'd only weighed less than that once in my adult life and it was several years prior. The lowest weight I'd ever seen on the scale as an adult was 152, and I think that lasted one day ;)

It's kind of funny (or maybe sad?) that I remember my weight at certain points throughout my life. When I worked at Curves, we used to do a questionnaire with new members and one of the questions was if they remembered what they weighed on their wedding day. And you know what? I would say that 95% of the women I signed up remembered the exact number. I can tell you that I weighed 160 on the dot the day that I got married.

Thinking about it now, I realize how trivial it all is. Why do we think about that number so much? And even posting my Wednesday Weigh-Ins seems--childish? That's not really the right word; I'm not sure what to call it. It's just so unimportant, especially when I think of all the other stuff I have going on right now.

HOWEVER.

I don't think it'll ever not be somewhat important to me--I was overweight for 28 years, morbidly obese for many of them, and I felt like I missed on out a lot when I was a teenager and early 20s. When my friends were wearing crop tops and bikinis, I wore the baggiest clothes I could (and forget about a bathing suit!). I was an extremely self-conscious, shy wallflower who desperately wanted to be like "everyone else".

I tried so many times to lose weight but I just couldn't do it. When I started exercising at Curves in 2002(?) I also joined Weight Watchers and I got my weight down to 152. I was thrilled! And then gained the weight back almost immediately. I even had to have my wedding dress let out in the waist just two days before my wedding because I couldn't zip it anymore. (God bless that seamstress!)

My wedding day was the last day I saw 160 until 2010. I'd gotten pregnant just a couple of months after getting married, and I was kind of relieved to have an excuse to gain weight. I had two babies in 18 months, and then my weight was at 250-ish until August 19, 2009, when I finally had enough of being too big to play with my kids the way I always imagined I would.

I won't go through the whole weight loss story, because it's written all over my blog, but as I lost weight, I started to think more and more about my goal. I reached 175 and was shocked to have gotten that far. Then I aimed for 160 and reached it. Being in the 150s was unbelievable to me. And when I reached 149? I was terrified. I was in uncharted territory with no clue what to expect.

I kept lowering my goal weight as I got smaller. Reaching 144 was a big deal because for the first time in my life, I was no longer considered "overweight" on the BMI chart. When I thought it might be possible to hit 139, I was excited--it seemed SO SKINNY to me--but I did it.

As you know, I'm a total numbers person. I love nerdy spreadsheets and even math problems (that don't involve graphs, haha). I'm kind of particular about numbers and my favorites are odd numbers in multiples of 11 (especially 11, 33, and 55). I have no idea why.

I eventually chose 133 as my goal weight. Now, today, calling it a "goal weight" seems kind of silly; but it was important to me at the time. And honestly? It still is. Regardless of what number we choose, some of us like to have a goal in mind.

At this age (40), I would be happy just to feel comfortable in my clothes and my own body. If that happened to be 150, sure--I'll take it! From past experience, however, I know that I am most comfortable under about 140.

When I gained a lot of weight in 2018-2020, I reached 197--the highest my weight had been in nearly 10 years. I never stopped trying to lose the weight, but I also never thought I would. I felt like I was out of control and 197 would turn into 253 again before I even knew it. When I saw that number, I immediately decided that I was going to get my weight back down to an "acceptable" number. I didn't care if I never saw the 120s again or the 130s or even 140s. At that point, I would have been happy just to get to 170.

Still, I think 133 will be burned in my mind forever as my "goal weight".

That day was May 24, 2021. I did what I knew best--counting calories. And slowly, the weight started to come off. I can't even describe how relieved I was. When your weight loss/gain/loss/gain is so public, it's embarrassing to see such a dramatic shift upward. I felt like a failure. And thousands of people could see it.

I haven't counted calories in a months. (I think I stopped counting in February or March sometime.) I put my focus on eating a lot of fiber; and at the end of January of this year, I became vegan--which completely changed everything for the better. I could write a whole series of posts about the changes I've noticed since becoming vegan, but I'll save that for another time (this is long enough).

My weight loss stalled for several months, but I hadn't started eating plant-based to lose weight (I became vegan for three reasons in this order: 1) The suffering that animals go through in factory farms; 2) The impact that factory farms have on the environment; and 3) For health. So when my weight loss stalled, I continued to eat vegan regardless of my weight.

Recently, the weight started coming off again and I have to say it's been easy. I almost feel guilty about how easy it has felt. Becoming vegan for those reasons I listed gave me a "why" that, for once in my life, isn't about weight loss. And I think that has made all the difference.

For the first time in 12 years, I don't fear gaining the weight back.

Maybe my weight will change, maybe it won't... but I'm not scared of it or worried about what people will think anymore. And I'm sure it's because I changed my "why".

So, Katie, get on with it... why all this talk about goal weight? Well, I reached it this week...

While I'm sure the fact that I've been stressed and overwhelmed recently has something to do with losing the last 5-6 pounds, I still felt a little thrill when I saw that on the scale. I don't think that I'll ever be able to get having a "goal weight" out of my head, and I'm okay with that.

In 2015, when I focused so hard on getting to 133 pounds, I reached that weight and was over-the-moon excited. Jerry took my picture that day and I was grinning from ear to ear.

Rather than take a mirror selfie in my dusty, under-construction bathroom this week, I felt like reaching my goal weight was worth another picture outside, standing on the dike across from my house, just like last time. (Well, minus the make-up and hair.) I can certainly see that I've aged, but I also know how much better I feel inside. I'm not nearly as fast a runner as I was back then and I have at least one more wrinkle for each year that has passed, but I feel good.

In January when I turned 40, I can't even describe how bummed I was about that number. When did 40 years go by?! How in the heck had it been 11 years since I started writing Runs for Cookies? Why was I still struggling with my weight 40 years after I'd been born a 9+ pound baby? Why did I even care?

I made my family and friends promise me that they wouldn't mention my birthday. I didn't want to celebrate it or even think about it. There was no birthday talk on January 25th, and I was grateful for that.

Now, not even eight months later, I can honestly say I feel better at 40 than I did at 30. I'll take 40--wrinkles, gray hair, and all!

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