Friday, August 5, 2011

Guest post by my husband

I'm pretty sure that I'm going to lose half my followers after this post. One thing I learned quickly about Jerry is that you should never take him seriously!  My apologies...  ;)

Well... here by popular demand, it's me- Mr. Slim Katie.You all know how awesome my wife is (as evidenced by people on the internet telling her that EVERY DAY). It's undeniable. You know how a typical day in her life goes. Do you know mine? How about my struggles? I have them too. Here is my typical day:

I get up at 4:00 AM. You read correctly--AM. I get ready for work. Give the wife a kiss goodbye, even though she's still in bed. Usually she says she loves me (groggily) and my response is always, 'I love you more'. (Corny, I know). I make a cup of coffee and try my best to stay awake. This is where it gets super hard for me. I sit on the couch for the next hour playing video games or watching TV, trying to wake up a little more, but really just staring off into space. I like to get up early so I can make sure I get all my crap together before work so I'm not rushing at the last minute to gather it all up before I leave.

So naturally, 5:20 rolls around (the time I have to leave) and I realize, "Shit, my lunch isn't packed." Never fails. The rest of the day is pretty boring. I get off work at 6:00 PM and hurry to get home. Katie always has dinner ready (and portioned out into a single serving, so I can't be heavy handed) and I can't wait to eat. I know dinner is going to be good, because the kids' bowls are half-empty, which means they actually ate some of it. Eat, take a shower, grab a beer, and then I catch up with The Lovely Wife. That's the day. Everyday.

Just like Katie, people ask me questions when they find out about her weight loss (and mine as well, although I definitely play second-fiddle to Katie). Here are a few FAQ's, plus the questions you asked...

1. Do you have a lisp?
Yeth, I have a lithp. How did you know? Jerry insisted on putting this question in here, but I said it was stupid... none of my readers know that he actually DOES, in fact, have a lisp. Our friends like to tease him about it, and I guess he considers it part of his personality.

2. Is it hard being 'Mr. Slim Katie'?
It can be--she's very intimidating. Don't be fooled by her kindness in blogging. She beats me when I don't clean out the litter box before work or give her foot massages before bed. Just kidding. No, silly, it's not hard. Not at all. I have a sexy wife, what else could I ask for? Life is good.

3. Do you ever wonder if she's going to leave you after losing the weight?
Every husband's nightmare. No, I don't worry. I think the key is, we were happy before and I never gave her a reason to leave. So, what's changed? We're just happier I think.

4. Is the sex better?
Yes. We've got a couple videos online if you want to check them out. Here's the link

5. How did you lose the weight?
Truthfully? I'm lazy. Really lazy. She does all the cooking and I do all the eating. I eat what she puts in front of me. I think that's typical of a husband, isn't it? It's a struggle every day though. When I go to work, people always bring in all kinds of food like donuts and cake. Pies and cookies. Fast food. So, everyday I go to work saying I'm not going to eat all kinds of crap. I usually don't, but sometimes I forget to pack my willpower in the morning (along with my lunch) and my day is screwed. I don't really exercise. I didn't do the 48-Hour Miracle Diet (but there IS a bottle of it in our pantry... ask Katie about that!). No gastric bypass. Just Katie. She's how I lost the weight. She was, and is, really motivating.

6. Are you a keeper?
Yes, michellechristine and Poison, I am a keeper.

7. Can we see some before and after pics of you?
Absolutely. One thing you should know about me is that I'm not shy. So, these are for you, ladies.
I even had the stereotypical stain on my shirt

Yes, that would be my sister-in-law's bikini bottom

8. How were you motivated to lose weight? (a.k.a. How can I get my husband to lose weight with me?)
In all honesty, I don't know. I saw a couple pics of me that made me look like a thumb. I had no chin. Sagging man-boobs. Helluva gut. I felt really sluggish. I want to be here for my kids. I want to be able to run around with them and play. I know a couple of guys at work that have horrible obesity related health issues, such as diabetes and sleep apnea. I didn't want to be one of those people. I also realized that I CAN'T AFFORD TO BE FAT. Our food spending was astronomical (one binge could cost $25 or more).

On top of that, my employer has rolled out new health care requirements. Smokers and obese employees/spouses will be required to pay an extra $20 a week for insurance.That mean that if you or your spouse have a BMI over 30, you would be required to pay $20 extra a week. If BOTH of you have an issue, then it's $40 a week. Great motivation, huh? I am so happy that I lost the weight. I feel better, I look better, and I saved a TON of money on my car health insurance.

9. What was the biggest change in your lifestyle?
Before, we used to go on diets for a couple days and then fail miserably. The downfall would come from something like cookies or chips that we thought we could keep in the house. WRONG! Katie decided enough was enough and cleaned out the pantry of all the bad stuff and filled it with healthy stuff. No more bad stuff to sabotage us. Since she does the grocery shopping and the cooking, I didn't really have a choice.

Did I miss anything? Oh, yeah. I did.

10. How is life, REALLY, with pretty and slim Katie?
PERFECT. I know that life isn't a fairytale. It's not a Lifetime movie (unless there is a movie where the husband gets murdered by the wife because he forgot to clean out the litter box before work!). It is what you make it. We definitely have our ups and downs. We have fun. We're Simpletons. We like to play cards or board games. We laugh and cry at the stupidest crap sometimes but that's what makes us 'us'. We truly enjoy each others company. We finish each others sentences. So, I can't think of anyone else I would rather spend my life with than her. She's special.


So, how was it for my first blog? Any more questions?


Oh, and as Katie usually does, I'll post a question for you: How many of you clicked on the link in FAQ #4?




So there you go, friends. Some random guy who hacked into my blogger account My husband. In all his glory. Let's leave the blogging to his better half, shall we? ;)

22 comments:

  1. Okay, now I've fallen in love with your other half too. You are quite a couple. Jerry made me laugh, smile and say "OOOHHH," in that cheesy way you do when something is schmaltzy.
    I am half afraid to click on the sex tape link, however....but it sure made me laugh! Thanks Jerry & Katie, you guys are great!

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  2. Awesome post! I was definitely looking forward to this! Haha I had to click the link at #4 because I knew it would be something funny!!

    Your husband is really funny! I truly laughed so hard at the thought of you beating him if he didn't clean the litter boxes before work! Oh and the after picture! HAHA too funny! But he has lost a ton of weight especially in his stomach! Good job!

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  3. Congrats on losing all the weight Jerry! Just like Katie, you look like a completely different person!!

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  4. Jerry must be so fun to have around! That picture CRACKED ME UP!! You two seem to have an amazing relationship! I think it's so sweet the way you both talk about each other.

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  5. I gotta admit to clicking the link. I was faaairly certain it wouldnt be a sex video but I thought it would be funny!

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  6. yes...I clicked but not until after I read the question at the end...and yes I too figured it would be some thing funny.

    Big Kudos to you both for doing a great job on the weight loss!! You both look great!

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  7. I think my husband could have written this. He too wakes up an hour earlier than he needs to for work, just to sit around and wake up until he has 5 minutes to get his crap together and bolt out the door. The best part of our relationship is we love to make each other laugh and he's the best at it. Thank you for addressing my question about dealing with insecurities and the new and improved version of your wife. He's the first man that ever saw beyond my exterior and loved me for who I am and not what I looked like. Why would I ever take that for granted?

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  8. Yes I clicked the link, however I knew it would not be a sex tape! Katie would never allow that! lol I'm so happy he did this post. I've always been a little curious about him! Wow you guys saved so much money on insurance just by losing weight! So proud of you both and I love your fun marriage! Jerry should blog more often.

    - Sam

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  9. Cutest post ever! Kudos and congrats on a happy marriage.

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  10. What a funny post! Loved it! So happy for you both! Congrats on losing the weight, guys! :)

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  11. I LOVE Jerry's personality! I can see how you 2 balance each other out. I love his attitude towards life and just everything in general. He seems so laid back and go with the flow. My ex-husband used to complain CONSTANTLY about working long days and the same schedule every single day. (He worked 6am - 6pm Mon-Fri)He never stopped complaining that his life was one big routine. Kudos to Jerry!

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  12. Omg the litter box! I died laughing! And 4 AM is sooo early when you don't have to leave until 5:20! I'd much rather spend all that time getting some extra shut eye!

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  13. My fiance has a slight lisp too! It's barely noticeable, however our friends are constantly bringing it up just joking around giving him a hard time too! Jerry is too funny! You go together so well! How did you and Jerry meet?

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  14. COMEDY! I'm glad he guest posted. It was neat to hear from his perspective. Thanks for sharing Jerry! Oh, and I didn't click on the link because I was too busy reading but now I'm going to go back after I post this and look. Have a great weekend!

    -Jen (jennygump21)

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  15. Of course I clicked! I read the link before clicking it though lol.

    and I didn't ask if you were a keeper, I could tell already. :P I suppose its good you agree and admit it though. I really enjoyed this post, too!

    and thank you for sharing the bikini bottom picture, been curious ever since she mentioned it. bwahahaha!

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  16. oh i loved this entry, jerry should guest blog more often. :)
    Jaime (lessoff)

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  17. Hi Jerry- nice to meet you:-) It's so nice to see a couple who are so happy together. You guys have some pretty adorable sons too. Great to see you being a healthy example for them.
    You both look so much younger than you did in your 'before' shots too!!

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  18. Thanks for all the nice comments.
    The boys take after me in the adorable category. As far as having a good personality, well, that's all I had. Did you see the before pic? Katie used to tell people that I was a 5 but I have a good personality :) As far as the link goes, you should've seen what I originally had linked, she made me change it.

    -Jerry

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  19. Just catching up on my reading......great post! Love the bathing suit picture. A sense of humor goes a long way in life. :)

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  20. I love this post, made me smile more than once :)

    I clicked on the link - but not before hovering over it to see what the URL was lol

    I think it's great you're so supportive of each other - you're both very inspirational.

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  21. I love this post! You guys are adorable! The things he said reminded me a lot of my hubby! My husband is one person that can always make me laugh no matter what is going on! I love all the compliments he gave you about being sexy......so sweet! My husband and I have been together since he was a junior and I was a senior and on august 24th we will have been married for 9 years! My husband loved me when I was skinny and that didn't waiver at all when I gained weight! He is very supportive of my weight loss but always reminds me that he loves me no matter what! Having a supportive spouse that you can have fun with is so important! You guys are both adorable and I'm glad that you have each other!

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I'd love to hear from you! I read all of my comments, and if you have a question, I do my best to respond; sometimes, however, I get busy and forget to go back to reply, so if it's important, just email me! :)