March 08, 2019

TUTORIAL: How to Make Your Own Wall Chalkboard Wall Clock

How to Make Your Own Giant Chalkboard Clock

This chalkboard wall clock was a ridiculous idea that I came up with after I'd ordered a DIY clock that arrived with defective pieces. I'd been searching for months for a huge clock, and couldn't find what I was looking for. Finally, I ordered one of those DIY wall clocks from Amazon, where you put adhesive numbers on the wall and add the hardware. (Here is the link, although I'm not saying I recommend this one--like I said, the numbers were defective--but I did end up using the mechanical part of the clock, which works great.)

I received the box and was super bummed that some of the numbers were defective. I packaged it to send it back, when I had the idea that I could probably just make my own numbers to put on the wall. The ones that came with it weren't anything super special. As I pondered a color scheme, I remembered that I had almost a full container of chalkboard paint leftover from one of my kitchen cabinets.

So, I introduce you to the gigantic painted-on wall clock--fully functioning, and a chalkboard to boot! I thought the chalkboard would be fun to write out the day's schedule. For my family, it has turned into our "what's for dinner and when?" clock. My kids are CONSTANTLY asking me when is dinner and what I'm making. It drives me crazy! (My family likes to add their own things on there, too, which is helpful).

How to Make Your Own Giant Chalkboard Wall Clock


Anyway, I've had some requests for a tutorial, so I will do my best. I didn't take a ton of pictures along the way, so I will do what I can with what I have. Also, this would have been much easier to follow if I had done a video tutorial. But because it was a make-up-as-you-go-along sort of thing, I wasn't thinking ahead.

I ended up making a ton of diagrams, and this has turned into the blog post that I have spent the longest amount of time working on. Haha! Hopefully, someone will use it.

Note: I started with primed and painted walls in a light gray color latex paint (Sherwin Williams' Cashmere in the color "Argos"). If your wall needs fresh paint or touching up, definitely do that beforehand.

Materials

-Wall paint for a clock border (I used Sherwin Williams' Cashmere in "Cityscape"--dark gray)
-Chalkboard paint (a very small amount--I bought a quart at Lowe's and only used 1/4 of it)
-Oil-based primer and paint for the numbers of the clock, whatever color you'd like*
-Wooden yard stick
-Protractor (the cheap plastic ones you can get for a dollar in the school supplies section)
-Drill
-Drill bit (you want it to be small, but it doesn't have to be an exact size; you want the tip of a sharp pencil to fit in there without a lot of wiggle room. I used a 3/32" bit.)
-Pencil with a sharp tip
-12 pins (like you would use for sewing--not needles, just pins with a head on them)**
-1 tiny nail
-Hammer
-Good quality paint brush (1-1.5 inches or so)
-Stencil brush (I didn't use one, but as I explain later, it would be VERY handy)
-A tiny paint brush for touch-ups (I used an old eyeshadow brush)
-Number stencils (I printed out these ones)
-The mechanical part of a clock (I bought this $20 clock from Amazon and just used the mechanical piece). I'm sure you can use any sort of mechanical piece from a clock.
-Laser Level (I highly recommend a laser level--it made spacing out the numbers so much easier! I cannot find the one that I have, but this one is very similar. I got mine at Lowe's, and I use it all the time!)


-A small flockfoam paint roller (see pic below) - This will give you a much smoother finish than other rollers or brushes when using chalkboard paint. I used a brush on our cupboard, and the finish isn't nearly as smooth. The employee at Sherwin Williams recommended this:



*I used oil-based paint for my numbers because that's what I had on hand. I am not sure how it would work with latex paint.

**Note: I marked the spots for my numbers BEFORE I painted the chalkboard paint on. This was partly due to the fact that only after I made the marks did I notice that the clock numbers I'd purchased were defective, but I also later realized that it would have been difficult to mark the number placement after painting anyway. This is where the pins come in handy. I'll explain below.

Read through all these instructions and look at the diagrams first; everything will make more sense if you take it all in as a whole instead of each step.

Marking the Circles

1) Determine where you want the very center of your clock to be, and mark it with a tiny dot on the wall. Make sure you are SURE about the placement, because this dot will be the center (literally) of all the steps from here on out.

2) Using the drill and tiny drill bit, you are going to drill four holes into the yard stick. At one end, you will drill a hole that will be for the center of your clock. Then, the other three are for a pencil guide to place your numbers, the inner edge of the border, and the outer edge of the border (respectively).

In the guide below:

The distance from the yellow hole to the green hole will be HALF the final width of your clock. So, if you want your clock to be 50 inches wide, then the yellow and green holes should be 25 inches apart. This is important, so choose wisely ;)

The space between the green hole and the pink hole is how wide your border will be. If you want your border 5 inches wide, then place the holes 5 inches apart, for example.

The purple hole is simply a guide for placing your stencils--this circle will go through the very center of your numbers--so, again, choose wisely.
(For MY clock, which is about 70 inches in diameter:
I placed the green hole at about 1", the pink hole at about 3", and the purple hole at about 10". The yellow hole is at about 35.5". My measurements weren't exact... I just eyeballed where I wanted them.)

Drill Guild for How to Make Your Own Giant Chalkboard Wall Clock


The holes that you drill should be just big enough to fit the tip of your pencil. If they are too big, the pencil line might get sloppy.

3) Using the hammer, tap the tiny nail through the hole (marked "center" in the diagram) in the yard stick into the mark on the wall where the center of the clock will be. Now, you should have a yard stick hanging from a small nail in the wall.

4) Insert the pencil tip into the green hole (green on the guide above--that is just for reference). Now, while holding the pencil tip in the hole, simply make a large circle on the wall by rotating the yard stick on the nail 360 degrees. You will have a perfect circle when you are done. This circle will be the size of the entire clock.

Again, make sure this is the size you want your clock to be.


5) Leaving the yardstick on the wall, insert the pencil into the pink hole, and repeat the last step. Use the yardstick as a guide to make a perfect circle inside of the first circle.

You should have two large circles on the wall--a large one and a smaller one just inside of it. (The space between these will become the border of the clock.)

6) Next, do the same thing with the purple hole. (This circle is a guide for where you will place your numbers).

Now you should have a center nail and three large penciled circles on the wall. You can remove the yardstick--you're done with it now.


Marking the numbers' placement

This is the most tedious, time-consuming part!

1) Next, you'll be using the laser level, pencil, and protractor. The protractor will likely have a little hole in the bottom center for alignment (see photo below), with a horizontal line on each side. Pull the nail from the clock center and use the nail to attach the protractor to the wall (through the same hole in the wall).

2) Now, you'll want to make the protractor perfectly level. Using the laser level, line up a perfectly level line from one end of the protractor to the other. The lines at the 0 degrees and 180 degrees should be level with the line of the laser. (see photo below)

(This was very hard to do with one hand and take a photo with the other... but you can see a very faint red laser line that goes right across the horizontal line on the protractor. And the little bubble of air in the level is centered, so we know the protractor is aligned correctly)



Here is what it would look like without the protractor in the way. (If it looks unlevel, it's just because of the cropping of the photo. Trust me, it is level.):



Once you have the protractor perfectly level, hold it against the wall firmly so it doesn't budge. You are done with the laser level for the moment.

4) While holding the protractor against the wall, use your pencil to place small marks every 30 degrees.


(Again, I did this one handed while I took a picture--pretty impressive, right?!)

Eventually, you will need to turn the protractor upside down so you can do the bottom. Just make sure you line it up perfectly by using the guide lines on the protractor (there is a line that runs from 0-180 degrees--line that up with your marks).

Continue using the protractor to mark spots every 30 degrees until you have a mark for all 12 numbers. See the diagram below--the pencil marks are 30 degrees apart.

Making the Pencil Marks


5) Use the laser to create a straight line from the center of the clock through the pencil marks you just made, and all the way to the "purple" (inner) circle. Then mark a little dot on the "purple" circle where the laser line meets the circle. THAT DOT is going to mark where the *center* of your number will go. (It's circled in green in the diagram below. I will explain the pins afterward.)

How to Make Your Own Giant Chalkboard Wall Clock

Do this for all 12 of the pencil marks you made. Once you've transferred all 12 dots to the purple circle, then you can erase the ones that are close to the protractor (the aqua ones above).

Here is where the pins come in handy. Because you've marked all these spots, you don't want to cover them up with black chalkboard paint. Insert a pin (I tapped it gently with a hammer) into the marks you made for each number, 1-12. (Again, use the pins on the "PURPLE" circle--you can erase the other ones once you mark the purple circle.)

Also, make sure you keep the small nail in the center of the clock--you want that to be marked, always.

Use the laser all the way around, lining up the center of the clock with the 30, 60, 90, etc. degrees marks and making a little dot on the large "purple" guide circle.


How to Make Your Own Giant Chalkboard Wall Clock

Once you have pins placed on the inner pencil line (the "purple" line), you are ready to paint. Leave the nail in the center of the clock, and leave all the pins in the wall. DO NOT REMOVE THEM. You are going to paint over them with the chalkboard paint.

Time to Paint

1) You can do the border first or the chalkboard paint first, it's up to you. I chose to do the border. I used dark gray latex paint and a 1.5-inch brush to fill in the border of the clock (the space between the two outer circles--"green" and "pink").

I painted this freehand, so you can see it isn't perfect (I am fine with that). But I would suggest watching a few YouTube videos about how to "cut in" paint when you're painting walls. Using that technique helped me SO much when I was freehand painting the walls against trim and the ceiling.

Freehand Painting a Border

2) When the border is filled in, then it's time for the chalkboard paint. I would use a brush to do the edges, just like you did for the border. Then, use the roller to fill it all in. Be VERY CAREFUL not to disturb the pins. I used a brush around those.

3) Once it's all dry, apply a second coat of paint (per the instructions on the can... I think mine said to wait four hours).

Now, you should have a large circular chalkboard with a border, and there will be a nail in the center. There will be 12 pins spaced evenly (every 30 degrees) inside of the chalkboard.

Painting the Chalkboard

Make sure it is all dry before continuing. I would wait 24 hours just to be safe.

Priming the Chalkboard

This is weird, and I never knew it was necessary until just recently when I used chalkboard paint for the first time!

1) Once the chalkboard paint is applied, you have to "prime" it before using it. To do this, you turn a piece of chalk on its side and then rub the chalk over the entire space, covering it all with chalk. I think I went through about six whole pieces of chalk to do this!

Priming the Chalkboard

2) Once it's all filled in, then you can erase it. (I chose to prime it before painting on my numbers; I'm not sure if it matters, but it worked well for me this way, so that's what I would do.)

The Stencils

1) Place each stencil over the corresponding pin, with the pin in the very center of the number itself. (If you place the numbers to the side, top, or bottom of the pin, they will be all off-center. Make sure the pin goes through the center of the number. In the "11" below, I had to cut out a small square to fit the number over the pin.)

2) Tape the edges of the stencil to the wall. I wouldn't remove the pins until you are done placing all of the numbers. You want to step back and make sure it looks even.

How to Make Your Own Giant Chalkboard Wall Clock

I quickly used the laser level to make sure the numbers themselves weren't crooked, but you could honestly just eyeball it, because I doubt it would be noticeable if a number is slightly tilted.

Step back and it should look like this:

How to Make Your Own Giant Chalkboard Wall Clock

When you are satisfied with the number placement, THEN you can remove the pins.

3) From here, it's just about stenciling the numbers on with paint. First, I painted the primer on. See my notes below. I used a small paint brush, and it was a big mess. I would definitely recommend using a stencil brush. (A stencil brush is very thick and round with stiff bristles. You dab it over and over again over the stencil with a small amount of paint, rather than stroking it on.)

How to Make Your Own Giant Chalkboard Wall Clock

I made several mistakes with the numbers, and due to trial and error, here is my advice:
  • Use a stencil brush and dab both the primer and paint on with that. A stencil brush would have solved all the issues I had regarding the numbers!
  • Do NOT use spray paint. I did this and the paint was way too thin and drippy. I don't have a photo from the immediate result, because I panicked before I could take one. It didn't cover well, and it looked terrible. I ended up having to spray the paint into a small plastic cup, and then use a brush to dab it on. It was a big fat mess and I cried real tears.)
  • Use a primer first--one or two coats, per instructions on the can.
  • Then apply the color (again, I'd use a stencil brush and dab it on). I used an old eyeshadow brush to fix how terrible the numbers looked! I spent a lot of time trying to keep a steady hand and paint over my mistakes). 





4) Once the numbers are stenciled on, then you can carefully remove the stencils. You'll need to make a few touch ups and fill in the gaps in some of the numbers (like the numbers above).

5) Once all the numbers look the way you want them to, it's time to place the mechanical part on the wall. To do this, you'll have to just follow the instructions per the manufacturer. The end goal is to make sure that the center of the mechanical part is dead center with that tiny nail you still have in the center of your clock.

As long as the mechanical part is dead center, then your clock should work smoothly! I primed and painted the mechanics orange. I took the hands off of it first, then painted and waited for it to dry before putting it back together. I made sure to cover the working parts with tape so paint didn't get inside).

Aaaaannnnnddd... if you managed to make it through all of these instructions, you should have a huge, functioning, chalkboard wall clock :)



I hope I explained this well. It wasn't nearly as hard as I make it sound in this tutorial. The biggest headache is just from aligning where the numbers will need to go. (Instead of using pins, you could probably even paint the chalkboard first, and then use chalk to mark the spots. This is just the way that I chose to do it, based on what was working/not working out.)

Good luck! It was a lot of work, but I LOVE the clock, and it's definitely the center of attention when people see it. It's very unique and fun :)

If you DO happen to make one, or something similar, make sure you share a picture with me! I'd love to see how it turns out.

How to Make Your Own Giant Chalkboard Wall Clock


How to Make Your Own Giant Chalkboard Wall Clock


March 07, 2019

A Belated Wednesday Weigh-In (and horrible anxiety)


Estelle manages to work her way into just about every picture I take.

I did not forget that I had planned to start doing Wednesday Weigh-Ins again! I was just feeling very anxious yesterday and the thought of writing a post was making it worse.

I know that I wrote recently about it, and I wish I could say it's better. But holy cow, I'm going through a VERY tough episode right now, and my anxiety is horrible. I don't know what triggered it; I just wish that it would go away!

I'm not "worried"; that's what is hard to explain to people who don't have anxiety. I'm not worried about something; I just have this overall constant feeling of doom and guilt, and I feel like a terrible person and that I have things that I was supposed to do but didn't. Or that I should be doing more. As I've said before, I know these aren't rational thoughts.
I know I'm a good person.
I know that I don't have anything to feel guilty about.
I (don't think) anything bad is going to be happening anytime soon.
I think I've kept up with my "to do" list (well, other than to blog more frequently; but I get anxious about even doing that).

It makes no sense, then, that I would have these feelings. I was thinking that it could possibly be because I quit drinking, and now I have nothing to "relieve" that anxious feeling or to relax. Food always used to be my "go to" to feel better momentarily, and even that hasn't been an issue lately. My anxiety was so bad this past week that I just didn't have much of an appetite at all.

I was feeling depressed for a few weeks, but that has let up quite a bit. Now, it's just the anxiety. I think the depression may have been coming from the "let down" of being almost finished with this huge house makeover project. Remember after I ran my 10K PR in 2016 after training SO hard for it for months? Then I went into a deep depression for 10 months afterward. I felt like, "Now what?"

I've focused so much on this house makeover I started in August and worked so hard on daily for months. It became a huge part of my life--something I was very excited about. It's pretty much finished (I just took a bunch of "after" photos to post, hopefully in the next few days), so I am probably feeling a let down similar to the post-10K training.

My bipolar mind wants to say that I need to pick a new obsession, but I know that isn't the answer. I need to find something I enjoy that doesn't have any pressure--something that is truly just enjoyable for me but without a big commitment or even a real purpose. I hate feeling pressured, and right now, with this anxiety, pressure is the last thing I need.

I feel like running would be a great answer for me, but with running, I feel pressure. I know that I put the pressure on myself, so I can just as easily take it off. I would love to get back to doing it regularly, because I know that it helped a lot with anxiety. And I just felt healthier. I will try to come up with a "non-pressure" running plan for myself ;) I wish it was warmer outside--going for walks would be nice, and I wouldn't feel any pressure from that. I don't enjoy walking in this cold, though.

I really liked building things with wood while working on the house. Even just taking an old bookshelf and turning it into a "pet feeding station" was fun for me. So, I thought that maybe I could do some more things like that and try to sell them on Facebook Marketplace. That would be fun and productive without putting any pressure on myself.

So, those are just some ideas that I had. The anxiety is making me feel like everything is all wrong, and the depression makes me feel like it won't ever get better. But I think if I can get some momentum, maybe I can pull myself out of this funk soon!

My appetite seems to have returned over the last couple of days. Nevertheless, here is my weigh in for this week:


I was back in the 150's! This was actually longer than a week--my weigh in last time was on a Monday, so this was nine days later. Still, it's a huge jump from my starting weight of 165.8.

As I said, my appetite hasn't been very big due to the high anxiety; but it's starting to go back to normal. I definitely haven't been eating for emotional reasons, though, which is great! I just remind myself that eating isn't going to take away the anxiety. It never has, and it never will.

It's kind of funny; I was desperately trying to lose weight for months, and it barely budged a few pounds here and there. Finally, I wrote the post about starting completely fresh and forgetting the past--not thinking about what I used to weigh, or how fast I used to run, or any of that. Just starting fresh on a brand new Day 1. I think that mindset really helped me this week and gives me some drive to keep going. I'm not aiming for the past--I'm just aiming for what I can do now.

I hadn't done my body fat in a long time, so I decided to do this, too. I don't remember what my last one was, but again--that was in the past. This is where I am right now, so this is what I'm starting at. My body fat is 30.5%.


I'm definitely happy with the weight loss, and seeing the 150's again (for the first time in a very long time!). Mostly, I'm glad that I'm not doing any emotional eating, and I'm thinking rationally about it. I know that eating isn't going to take away the anxiety, so I only eat when I'm hungry.

I haven't been counting calories, either. I've just been eating "intuitively" but on a loose schedule. Basically, the same thing I was doing for most of 2017. I would love to be able to lose this extra weight without counting calories. Maybe now that I'm not drinking and I'm taking control of emotional eating, I'll be able to do just that!

By the way, thanks so much for the super nice comments, suggestions, emails, and just general support lately. I know I've written some heavy posts! It really helps when I know that I'm not the only one going through things (such as the anxiety). I appreciate it more than I can express!


March 03, 2019

Sober Sunday (A Candid Post After 62 Days Alcohol-Free)



Sober Sunday isn't going to become a "thing" (you know how long those last when I attempt to do that) but since I love alliteration and today is Sunday, I thought I'd write an update on my "Dry 2019" challenge. It's feeling less weird to call it "sobriety" and I'm definitely feeling more and more like drinking was a bigger problem for me than I initially thought.

Today is Day 62 of sobriety.

This is definitely the longest I've gone without alcohol since I was pregnant with Eli. (I wasn't able to breastfeed my kids due to medical reasons, so I didn't have to abstain postpartum; although, I wasn't really a big drinker then.)

At first, I completely resented this challenge (to stay alcohol-free for all of 2019). I was kicking myself, wondering why I came up with it in the first place (I'm sure I was drinking when I thought of it, haha) and then why I had to be so public about it. I wanted to quit.

Each day that passed, though, I started to realize what a huge role alcohol played in my day-to-day life. Wine was always something to look forward to in the evenings; and then toward the end of 2018, in the afternoons into the evenings. It was literally the only thing that calmed my anxiety. Anti-anxiety meds have never really done much for me, but alcohol (especially wine) worked like a charm. Even in small amounts.

I've been sleeping SO much better since I quit drinking. I wake up early on my own--today, I got up at 5:30 on a Sunday! I don't have that sour feeling in my stomach that I'd gotten used to. Or purple-gray stained teeth and tongue from the dark red wine.

It's gotten easier the longer I abstain. It was kind of like intermittent fasting, in a way, when I experimented with that. When I knew I couldn't eat between two particular times, I didn't even think about food. It was a non-issue. I loved that! Now, since alcohol is a non-issue, I don't really think about it much.

I had huge cravings at the beginning; not so much for the taste itself, but for the habit, the romanticizing, the calm-my-nerves feelings. A couple of times, on particularly stressful days, the cravings almost made me cave in. But I knew if I did it once, I'd be back to making it a regular habit.

I do make "mocktails" once in a while. Nothing fancy--I'll either have diet tonic with lime (I ADORE True Lime and True Lemon; I bought an enormous box of each because I use it so much. It's not a drink sweetener; it's literally just crystalized lime or lemon, and each packet is the equivalent of a lime or lemon wedge); or, I'll mix club soda with something like juice. I still love my tart cherry juice in a wine glass, too. Recently, I bought some good lemonade and I mix that with club soda and pour over ice from my ice machine.

Side note: Did I write about my ice machine? Jerry and the kids got it for me for my birthday, and it's pretty much my favorite present ever! I am an ice chewer, and have been for years (there is no medical reason for it--my iron is fine). I was buying bags of ice from Sonic every week and going through them so quickly that Jerry and the kids decided to see if an ice maker was an actual thing (we don't have one on our fridge). They discovered that it does, in fact, exist, and they bought me this one.

Anyway, it makes the perfect chewing ice (soft, so it's easy on my teeth, but still satisfyingly crunchy). It even spits out ice at a rate that I can't keep up with. I put the ice in my beloved Bubba water bottle (this is another of my very favorite things--I like it so much more than the expensive Tervis brand) and the ice does melt at all while I'm eating it. Look how cool the ice is shaped, too:


Luke and Riley stayed the night last week, and Luke has recognized my water ice bottle since before he could talk. He started saying, "Ice?" knowing that there is ice in there. When I used to carry around my Sonic ice (super small pieces) I would give him pieces of it and he'd always come back for "More?"

When he was here last week, he wanted to hold my water bottle and feed Joey ice from it. So, he sat and gave Joey pieces of ice, one by one, until the bottle was empty! Hahaha. Joey loves ice, too.



Well, how's that for a tangent?!

Back to Sober Sunday. What was I saying? Oh, mocktails. So, my fancy ice with some sort of club soda and juice or lemonade, or my go-to tonic and lime, or my tart cherry juice make me continue with my routine in the evenings--just without the alcohol.

I also tasted Fre wine--a non-alcoholic wine--and I really didn't like it. I always assumed that non-alcoholic wine would be just like grape juice, but apparently it's wine with the alcohol removed, so it definitely tastes different. The store had Merlot or Chardonnay, and I chose the Merlot. I took a few sips and then poured out the bottle. I'll stick with tart cherry juice.

Now, I'm not going to pretend that a mocktail does the same for me mentally as a cocktail or real wine. I miss the wine buzz where I feel warm and glowy and happy. I'm pretty sure Jerry misses it, too, because it would always put me in a good mood. But he's super supportive of my doing this, and he won't even drink beer in front of me anymore. I'm not into craft beer, so it honestly wouldn't bother me one bit if he did, but that's just the way he is. I'm lucky he's so supportive.

So, the main reason I wanted to write this post is to share how I think alcohol played a more significant role in my life than I thought; and that it was probably more of a problem than I thought.

For years, I was totally satisfied with one glass of wine in the evenings (or none at all, if I didn't have the calories to spend on it). And then, like I wrote before, I started getting severe anxiety about writing in my blog and eventually, I was drinking a bottle of wine when writing. Last summer, I would usually stop at the store for wine after cross country practice--I felt like I deserved it after the mental challenge of coaching 3rd-5th graders!

In all honesty, I wasn't feeling stressed after practice--I'd just told myself I was because it was an excuse to have a bottle of wine instead of a glass. I was romanticizing the idea, something that I did very well and that I think is a huge reason people develop drinking problems. I would imagine getting cozy in my pajamas, cuddling up on the couch to watch a movie or TV show with Jerry, and sipping my wine.

Except it never went that way. The romantic thoughts of situations like that were never the reality, and never as good as I imagined in my head. Instead, I'd drink the first two glasses rather quickly, feel very talkative and energetic (and start snacking), but the third glass would make me sleepy. So I'd finish it off and then go to sleep. What was the point?!

I'd fall asleep easily, but then wake up at 2:00 or so in the morning and toss and turn the rest of the night. Wake up super tired, drag myself out of bed, brush the sour taste out of my mouth, and eat something to get rid of the pit in my stomach.

Now, I still get sleepy on the early side, but it has nothing to do with alcohol. It's just part of a nightly routine (and Jerry is working days right now, getting up early, so we tend to go to bed together). I wake up earlier than needed, start a cup of coffee brewing (Jerry gets it ready for me in the morning before work, so all I have to do is push a button; this is one of my very favorite things he does that makes me feel loved).

I don't drink the coffee as a "perk me up", but more of a morning routine of "me time". I make a piece of sourdough toast and spread it with coconut oil (my current favorite breakfast) and sip my coffee until it's time to take the kids to school and start my day as a housewife (you know, where I sit and eat bonbons while watching soaps all day).

I like the coffee routine almost as much (if not more than) the wine routine at night. The coffee gives me that perky, talkative feeling that the first glass of wine did, but it doesn't make me feel bad later. I've been drinking coffee at least twice a day now, and I kind of wish I hadn't gotten into that habit (the caffeine is terrible for my anxiety) but I'll work on that habit later.

One thing at a time right now!

(By the way, there are a few Amazon affiliate links in this post--simply because I was going to mention the products anyways, so I thought I might as well link them.)


March 02, 2019

Lemon Lentil Soup (with only 4 ingredients!) Recipe

4 Ingredient Lemon Lentil Soup


This recipe is SO good that it's hard to believe there are only four ingredients! It's nearly as easy as opening a can of soup, but so much tastier! And certainly healthier.

Here is a printer friendly version!

Lemon Lentil Soup

Ingredients:

1 cup of red lentils, sorted and rinsed (do not use brown lentils here)
1 quart of vegetable broth (I've tried this with chicken broth, and it wasn't very good--it had a metallic taste)
1/4 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes (this amount gives a small kick--if you like it spicy, use 1/2 tsp.)
Juice of one lemon (plus the zest, if you like!)

Directions:

Combine the lentils, broth, and pepper flakes in a pot and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to a simmer and cook for about 30 minutes, until lentils are soft and the soup has thickened. Add the lemon juice (and zest, if you're using it), stir, and heat through.

Makes 4 small servings (about 1 cup) or 2 main-dish servings.

Lemon Lentil Soup

February 27, 2019

My Weight Loss: Wednesday Weigh In and Current Photo (Starting Over)


The internet is loaded with before and after photos of weight loss. My blog is full of them. It's natural--when we work so hard to lose weight, we love to have a visual result. And for those of us with distorted body images, it helps to see how far we've come.

Or, in my case, how far I've gone.

As you all know, this past year has been a huge struggle for me with my weight. Each time I think I figure out the answer, I wind up at square one again.

I spend a lot of time thinking about how I felt during certain periods of my life. Recently, I keep thinking about how great I felt in 2017. I was 100% committed to the pursuit of happiness, and I felt amazing. I only did what I wanted to do, I said things that were on my mind, I ate what made me happy... it was fantastic.

Then I had some personal stuff going on, and long story short, I stopped living for happiness but started striving for what USED to be my happiness. I was searching and searching and just couldn't find it, and then I felt like a failure, and then I just beat myself up over it all.

I've been feeling really depressed and anxious lately, and I really don't want this to turn into another year where I spend the year trying to get back to how I was before. I may or may not ever get to that point again.

I want to work on being happy NOW.

What this means, I'm not really sure yet. But I do know that I am not happy at my current weight, and I'd like a fresh start. Begin where I am today. Not like before, though--not with the hope of getting where I used to be, but where I can go from here.

I want to stop feeling ashamed of my weight gain and guilty for not running. I want to stop hating how I look in the mirror due to the fact that I've gained weight. I want to start being in photographs again instead of hiding from the camera. I want to stop avoiding seeing people I know when I'm in public because they will notice.

I want to stop avoiding posting weigh-ins on my blog simply because my weight is the highest it's been in about nine years. I want to stop worrying about what other people will think of my body and the changes it's been through.

So, I'm starting over. I'm not trying to get to where I was before. I'd still like to try to lose weight, but I'm going to set a different goal weight--one that is more attainable and flexible. After thinking about it, I'd like my new goal to be between 135 and 145. That's a big 10-pound swing, and I like that. I feel like I won't be upset for gaining a few pounds here and there.

Here is my first Wednesday Weigh-In in a very long time. I'm not going to feel ashamed or feel the need to explain anything. I'm not going to talk about how much I've gained or how my clothes don't fit. This is simply what my scale says when I step on it:


(I actually did this weigh-in on Monday).

I'm even going to post a "fresh start" selfie. A full body selfie.


(See how Estelle manages to place herself in every single picture?!)

My first instinct is to point out all my flaws, all the spots where you can see I've gained weight, etc. But I'm not going to do that. I'm going to show you what I look like right at this moment (literally, I took this photo about five minutes ago).

I practically live in yoga pants lately (these ones are Lululemon pants that I got at Salvation Army for $1.99!) because I haven't wanted to buy jeans. When I get some extra cash, I will go buy some jeans that fit me--no matter what size they are. The shirt I'm wearing in this photo is too big, but it's so comfy that I am happy wearing it. I don't feel like I'm trying to hide my body--I'm just wearing what makes me happy.

And the slippers are MukLuks that Jerry gave me as a gift yesterday, because he knows I've been feeling down lately. I love love love them! Becky gave me a pair a couple of years ago for Christmas, and I've worn them right out. It's nice that Jerry noticed I needed a new pair.

I realize I've written a lot about this kind of stuff lately (not clothing, but weight gain/loss/plans to lose/etc), so I'll keep it short. But I basically wanted to write this as a "coming out" post--I weigh 165.8 pounds and I'm not ashamed to post it. Hell, I don't even feel anxious about what people will say! I wanted to post a current full body photo, too, because I never do anymore.

You can expect to see weigh-ins every Wednesday, because I still want to lose weight and I'm not ashamed to post it anymore. My main plan right now is to do what I can that will make me happier. Because I am not in a very happy place right now (fucking bipolar disorder!), I would like to do what feels best for ME.

I'm hoping to write more on my blog (I know I'm always saying that) but I do have some posts in the works. A chalkboard clock tutorial, for one, and my kitchen and living room makeover reveals. More about how sobriety is affecting me (it's been 58 days). I've been posting a lot of recipes lately--I'm working on getting all of them moved over from my previous blog to here, so you can expect to see more of those.

I was going to apologize for that, but I realize I have no reason to apologize--it's my blog! Haha.

I will definitely post more about mental health--my struggle has been really bad lately. However, my brother-in-law, Shawn, called me a few days ago and we talked about our anxiety issues (he's really the only one in my life truly just "gets it"). It was really helpful to talk to him, and I hope to see him in person sometime soon. Maybe I'll road trip to Chicago when the weather is clear!

And there I go, on a tangent again ;)  Be well, Friends. And may we all find happiness and peace with ourselves together!


February 26, 2019

Dining Room Makeover: Before and After Photos (Finally!)

Photos from before and after making over my dining room!

I FINALLY have photos of the dining room makeover to show you! I'm going to give the whole rundown of what went into this before I post the before and afters.

If you haven't already read it, I suggest reading "The Story of Our Home" before you go through this post. We have a manufactured home (a.k.a. trailer, double wide, whatever you want to call it).

First, I REALLY wish that I had good "before" photos. I didn't think this project was going to turn out to be anything big, so I didn't think to take any pictures beforehand. Instead, I had to go through the photos on my computer and find pictures that showed the dining room before we did anything to it. So, the before photos kind of suck.

Also, I'm going to show the rooms we made over one at a time, because they aren't all done yet. We are almost done with the living room and kitchen, but I ran into a small issue with the molding and I want to fix that first. So, I will show these rooms in stages, starting with the dining room (which we basically used as an extension of the living room).

First, to go over everything that I did in the dining room:

Remove small wall attached to bar top
Obviously, we removed the cupboards that were being held up by the wall
Removed the textured/popcorn ceiling (here is a tutorial/post all about that)
Prepped, caulked, and painted the molding around the window
Replaced window blinds 
Replaced light fixture
Replaced flooring (Jerry did this--doesn't it look amazing?!)
Replaced heat vent registers
Installed and painted floorboard trim
Painted a huge chalkboard wall clock (I'm working on a DIY tutorial for this now--it's a lot more work than I thought it would be to explain!)
Built a couple of shelves for the cats to sit on in front of the window ;) 


Here are some photos of the progress and the big reveal!

Dining room "before"

Dining room "after"

Here are some progress photos from along the way...

Removing wall and cupboards

Removing wall and cupboards

Removing wall and cupboards

Removing wall and cupboards

Cupboards removed


Making my own laminate bar top

My DIY laminate countertop

After removing textured ceiling and painting

Taping and mudding the seams


Painting my table and chairs orange

Priming the chairs

My new orange table and chairs

After painting bar seating area

Priming the window trim

Before installing the vinyl planking

DIY chalkboard wall clock

DIY cat window perches


Dining room before photo

Dining room "before" photo

The final product--the "after" photo of the dining room!


To see all of the posts so far about the renovation, you can scroll through them here. This has been a huge project, and I can't wait to reveal the rest!!


February 23, 2019

Copycat Sbarro Baked Ziti (Recipe)

Copycat Sbarro Baked Ziti


Don't be fooled by the lack of ingredients in this--it's SO GOOD. I was trying to imitate the baked ziti at Sbarro. When I was a teenager, I loved Sbarro's baked ziti at the mall. So this is what I came up with. Trust me, I tried adding all kinds of Italian herbs and spices and different cheeses and all that... but I always come back to this recipe. My kids even clean their plates when I make this.

Here is a printer-friendly version!

Copycat Sbarro Baked Ziti

Ingredients:

16 oz uncooked ziti or mostaccoli
15 oz ricotta cheese
1 cup parmesan cheese
1 (15 oz) can plain tomato sauce +
1 (8 oz) can plain tomato sauce (you can skip this is you want it less saucy)

Directions:

Pre-Heat oven to 350. Cook the pasta according to package directions.

In a 13x9 baking dish, combine the ricotta, parmesan, and the 15 oz can of tomato sauce. When pasta is done cooking, stir it into the cheese mixture until uniform.

Pour the 8 oz can of tomato sauce on top, and spread across the dish.

Bake uncovered at 350 for 20-30 minutes, until hot throughout. Serve with garlic bread. Makes 6-8 servings.


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