June 25, 2011

Spewing Cookies

Ugh, if I ever feel the need to change my blog name again, "Spewing Cookies While Running" would be appropriate. I feel so sick right now. Today was my day "off" of counting calories for the week, and I took it to the extreme. I had a large Reese Cup Flurry from the ice cream place, and later, I baked oatmeal cookies.

Of course I didn't eat just one. The batch made 12 large cookies, and I ate 6 (SIX!!!) of them. After that, I felt guilty for eating like a pig, so I decided to go run some of it off. BAD IDEA.

I felt really good for about a mile. Then I actually heard some sloshing sounds coming from my stomach. I figured it was the water I drank. Then I got really nauseous and my stomach started cramping.

I was running through a neighborhood at this point, and started panicking, thinking that I was going to puke in someone's yard. I wanted to stop and walk so badly, but I was afraid if I did, that I would throw up. So, I kept running, hoping it would go away.

I burped a few times (which is really unlike me--I'm not a burper, normally). And then (scroll down now if you don't like TMI)... I felt like I was going to shit my pants. My stomach was rumbling and the puking didn't sound so bad at this point.

I had planned on running 8 miles, but after 6 I called it quits. I stood over the toilet for a while, thinking I was going to puke, but I never did. I STILL feel nauseous. Let's hope that I learned a miserable lesson today!! As of right now, I hope I never see another cookie again as long as I live.

I went garage saleing with my parents again this morning. I've been finding a lot of good clothes now that I've lost weight and I can wear small things!

I scored a really cute pair of Lucky Brand jeans--she was asking $5 for them, but I offered $3 and she said sure. Brand new, their jeans are anywhere from $99-$250 a pair! My mom thought it was ridiculous that I would buy jeans with holes in them, lol.

My "Lucky" jeans :)
Unfortunately, they have to go in my "muffin top" pile for now :(  They are super low cut, and my belly just isn't ready for that low of a cut. I can button them, but it isn't pretty. Maybe about 10 more pounds and they'll be good.

I also found a super comfy-looking pair of sweatpants at the same sale. I didn't thoroughly check them out--just saw how worn and comfy they looked, so I bought them for 50 cents.

When I got home and put them on, I saw that there was "A.EAGLE" printed on the butt!  Remember how it was popular to have things printed on the butt of pants a few years ago? I never got into that trend, because I don't think there is a word long enough to stretch across my former 253-pound ass.

So I guess these sweats will be for lounging around at home, and nobody else will have to see them (except the entire internet right now). Have you ever tried taking pictures of your butt? It's really hard to do! I should have just taken the pants off to take the picture, but I'm feeling super crappy and I just feel like doing it the lazy way.

The front--see how cozy they look?

AND..... FAIL.
It reminds me of a time I bought a super cute pair of panties--they were pink with brown lace and two little bows on the sides. It wasn't until I got home that I realized "Biggest Diva" was printed across the butt. My husband and I couldn't stop laughing about it. Of course I couldn't return them, because that would be even more embarrassing!

What is the most embarrassing item of clothing you own? Mine has to be the "Biggest Diva" panties :)


  1. Speaking of crazy things written on pant-butts...my sister has lived and worked (teaching English) in different parts of the Middle East for the last 5-6 years. Her first year, she worked in Yemen. At the end of the year, several of her students gave her gifts. This very sweet 16 year old girl gave my sister a perfectly size pair of pants (difficult to find in the Middle East, as my sister wears a size 0 without even trying!). The problem was that across the butt, in shiny pink sequins, was the word REQUEST. I kid you not. My sister said she thinks it's because they had just had a unit on how requests work in English and that the girl didn't really understand. Still, the idea of running around with the word REQUEST stitched on your butt - in the Middle East no less - is priceless. I'm so glad I have pictures of her wearing those pants... :D

  2. i dont know of anything embarrassing that I bought for myself but I bought my husband a shirt at Ross for $7 that was super cute and artsy or so I thought, it had a cartoon guys face with a cat on his head and it said 'always on my mind'' (which I thought was cute since our cat is totally retarded and likes to sleep on our faces) My husband wore the shirt to work and someone called him out for having a ''dirty'' shirt. Neither of us understood, someone had to tell us that the shirt meant "Pussy is always on my mind'' ----i was sooooo embarrassed for buying that. i would have NEVER known hahahaha

  3. @Diaries of a Fat Girl
    BWAHAHAHA, that is SO funny! I would have done the same thing--I never would have thought about it meaning 'pussy', lol. Hilarious!

  4. AnonymousJune 26, 2011

    I seriously did not feel good yesterday at all either. I ate within my calorie range though. Once I worked out after going out for sushi. I will never never never eat sushi before spin class again. I dont think I have ever brought embarassing clothing. I am so picky about what I buy. I can go into the fitting room with 10 things and only buy one. Or better yet say I will buy it and 30 mins of regular shopping later I will put it back and say I didnt like how it looked. After taking two hours in the fitting rooms trying things on.

  5. my sister in law is always on the hunt to find the perfect fit of jeans. When she finally found the ULTIMATE JEANS that flattered her in all the right ways they unfortunately had "Babe" embroidered on on butt cheek pocket. After searching for so long she didn't care anymore and wore those jeans all the time. It was pretty funny because strangers would be calling her babe and it caused a few uninvited hand grabs too.

  6. Bummer about the run! Mmm, oatmeal cookies sound so good right now.

    I can't wait to buy cute clothes. I'm still wearing a 16, so it'll be a while.

    That's too funny about the butt writing! The stories in the comments cracked me up, too. I bought a cute pair of underwear a few years ago and was surprised to see 'Biggest Flirt' across the butt when I got home. Panty fail.

  7. When I was about 15 or so, I thought that I was hot shit when I wore my athletic shorts that said "Can't touch this" with two hand prints on the butt. Now you would never catch me dead wearing something like that in public!

  8. Hi - I'm onewayali from Sparkpeople! I had a very similar experience with MANY no pudge brownies and an attempt to go to the gym to make myself feel better about eating all the stupid brownies... I too vowed never to repeat that again but 2 weeks ago I did the same thing with no bake cookies!

    Also... one time I bought cute undies only to realize when I got home that they said "SNOB" on the butt!!

  9. My boyfriend at the time (now husband) wanted to show me he was supportive of my fitness habits and bought me a pair of workout pants from the goodwill. He was so proud of his gesture, I didn't have the heart to tell him that I don't want anything that can fit the entire phrase: "you know you want it" on the ass. Sigh. (lisa-elevated from spark)Even if it was on 2 lines.


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