May 05, 2020

Dealing With Bipolar Hypomania

I've been thinking lately that I may be hypomanic. I've been trying to be more aware of my mood shifts, and lately, I've really been experiencing some symptoms of hypomania.

Examples:

*Adopting two kittens. I can't say this is totally crazy, but I've always said we wouldn't get more cats until Phoebe and Estelle have passed away.



*Taking on multiple projects. Without taking the time to really plan things out carefully, I ordered the insulation and drywall and just went to town on the garage. I had no idea what a big project it would turn into! But because I love working on a project all day long until I can do as much as possible, it hasn't taken too long to get the insulation and drywall up. I finished the fourth wall yesterday, and now it's time for the ceiling (so help me God).


*I've also contacted a couple of contractors to get an estimate for building a large concrete porch. This is something I've wanted for YEARS now, and this is the perfect time to do it. Our porch is a death trap right now because it's so old and falling apart. I've looked into building a new one myself, but concrete is just one project I don't really want to try myself right now ;) 

*Another project I took on was sewing face masks. I love to sew, and it seemed so simple. It's really not hard to make them, but they take a long time for each one because it's meticulous adding the pipe cleaner and then sewing the hair ties in to hook it around your ears. Each one takes me roughly an hour to make, and today I completed about 40 more (in total, I've made about 125!). That's a LOT of time spent working on masks!

And to make matters worse, NOBODY has received the ones that I mailed on Monday. I am getting really worried. I don't want to mail out more just yet, because I'll be horrified it they got lost. All of that time wasted! (I did call the post office today, and they said that shipping has been very slow; that if there was a problem with the shipping cost, they would have been returned right way. So, if you're expecting a mask from me, it *should* arrive soon!)

Meanwhile, I made another batch... there are about 40 here. Once I find out if the others have reached their destinations, I'll give these ones away, too, for a small (optional) donation.



*I've been spending a little too much money lately, too (another symptom of hypomania). We have the extra money right now (since we canceled our San Francisco trip AND we had to cancel Eli's school trip to Washington D.C., we got some large refunds (I requested a refund from Delta instead of Delta credit, and they agreed--it took some finagling with the credit card company, but it was nice to get that refunded). 

Anyway, I bought the new Brooklinen sheets, a Cricut (which I still haven't opened), and a woodworking tool (it wasn't crazy expensive--about $80). I can't say that I regret the purchases, but I definitely want to reel it in because we need to save that extra money in case Jerry is laid off. They laid off about 60-70% of people in the plant, and he was one of the lucky ones to keep his job. (He's a fantastic employee, so I'm sure it wasn't just "luck".)

I have to say, though the Brooklinen sheets were 100% worth the money. Jerry even said that he's sleeping better since we got them!



*I also keep making plans and not following through (this isn't super new--I tend to do this a lot!--but lately it's been worse than usual). I have been making numerous attempts at weight loss, but I just can't seem to stick to it. I'm not even trying any crazy diets or anything--I can't even just stick to counting calories.

*My eating schedule has been all over the place. Usually, I go all day without eating because I keep myself so busy, and then I just eat way too much at night when I finally chill. When I'm hypomanic, I usually don't have an appetite. And I used to lose weight pretty easily while hypomanic--but apparently my mood stabilizers are stabilizing me just enough to keep that from happening.

*Running is another one. I have a schedule written out to get back to running, and I'll follow it for a couple of days and then quit. Over and over. If I'm going to run the half-marathon with Adam in October, I really need to build up a solid base again. So, I get ambitious and make training plans and then I don't follow through.

*My sleep has been an issue, too. I want to stay up all night long because I feel like I don't need any sleep! I made plans to try to get on a good sleeping schedule, but the weekend really messed that up (Jerry was off work, so we stayed up later). 

There are parts of hypomania that I enjoy--the excess energy, getting a LOT done (drywalling, sewing masks, working out all of the financial stuff for our canceled trips, etc.) The parts that aren't so fun are the insane irritability and quick mood shifts. 


I actually haven't an appointment with my psychiatrist next week, so I'll talk to him about it. The hypomania isn't TOO bad, so I don't know that we'll change up my meds. I really think that if I can make a daily schedule and stick to it, I'll do better. Routine is SO CRUCIAL when dealing with bipolar disorder. 

Maybe when my school-year routine changed, it triggered the hypomania. My life is all over the place right now! Mainly by drowning myself in projects. And I'm not complaining--I love having the time to work on projects that I'm interested in! Right now, I'm dying to finish my garage so that I can build a desk with Noah. 

Anyways, over the last couple of days, I've been thinking that maybe I am hypomanic. And after writing this out, I'm pretty sure the answer is yes! 


6 comments:

  1. Our lives are fluid, like waves on a lake. You are doing an AMAZING job, riding on the tides. Don’t be too hard on yourself, dear friend. The whole world is feeling this way during this unprecedented time!

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  2. I don't know what the situation is in the U.S. but in Canada things that usually take a few days to arrive in the mail are taking several weeks, as there are fewer people on staff processing items and delivering them. Don't worry quite yet, I'm sure they'll arrive!

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  3. As I read this, I have to wonder, could your bipolar meds be responsible for your weight gain? I say that because one of my best friend's husband is bipolar. Before diagnosis he was very athletic and lean, and now he is not. His before and after bipolar he is almost unrecognizable. I do think his case might be more severe since he was actually approved for disability because of his condition.

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  4. I'm having the same issues, I made some great changes that I was happy to live with and lost 60# from Sept to Feb and now I've gained back 7 and certainly have lost momentum and every time I tell myself I am going to make a couple small changes to get back on track, I quit after a few days. The heck of it is I felt so much better before! Same with shopping, nothing I regret we have a new short term rental cabin we need to update so it makes sense to get it done but multiple deliveries a day is a bit much. Also, you turned me onto Brooklinen a couple years ago and I've been debating the linen sheets until I read your post....they are now sitting here waiting to go on the new bed being delivered Friday. This is just such an unprecedented time I think we all need to be kind to ourselves and how we are getting through it. As always thank you for sharing so honestly.

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  5. I think you've answered yourself. Sounds like you'll figure out how to manage it with the help of your psych appt. Find the right routine. On another note, please do not hang the ceiling drywall by yourself. That would be very dangerous and not necessary! I know you said you were renting a lift, but even with that - wait until your sons and husband can help you.(don't let hypomania get the best of you!) It is a job for at least 2 people and a lift. I was worried when you said you were doing the walls by yourself, the ceiling is even harder work! Be safe!

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  6. I've noticed that my 13 yr old son has a cycle to his moods....and when I say moods I mean he rages, violent ones. He's been in therapy for years (for adoption trauma) and on meds but I finally decided to start tracking his moods back in Feb. Three months in a row he literally raged the exact same days every single month (toward the 3rd week of each month). I was shocked at how precise his behavior was. We've added a new med and he became so happy and hyper it was strange...he's always so moody and depressed. Praying this new med helps end his cycles.

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