Saturday, August 4, 2012

Jerry's first race (guest post)

As I've mentioned (more than) a few times, Jerry's first race was today. I've been treating it like such a big deal because, to me, it IS a big deal. I was really excited for him! I asked him if he wanted to write about it for my blog, and he said sure. I wasn't expecting it to be so long, so I'll just turn this into a guest post... enjoy :)


Hey, y'all! This is Jerry...Mr. Runsforcookies.com. As some of you may already know from reading Katie's blog, I have been training for a 10k race. Most of you may not know why. This is my story (and I'm sticking to it): A couple months ago Jen and Angela (producers of the From Fat to Finish Line Documentary) had come into town to interview Katie for the documentary.

I really enjoyed talking to both of them. Their stories were entertaining and they were genuinely fun to be around. Jen asked me a question to the effect of "Are you exercising, too?" I laughed it off and said that Katie runs enough for the both of us. Then Jen said that her husband was running and that he actually started training for a race that they could do together to surprise her. I thought that it was really awesome of him to do that.
Getting interviewed at Katie's parents' house
I started thinking long and hard about why the crap I don't run. Really... why don't I run? I'm married to the biggest inspiration in the world...and I DON'T RUN!!!!??? That can't be right. Then I realized, ultimately, that I'm lazy as fuck. Sure, I lost all this weight. But I really didn't do anything to lose it. All I had to do was eat what Katie fed me. That's the lazy way.

I still have the ol' muffin top, only it's the bite-sized muffin instead of the massive Otis Spunkmeyer. So, after that conversation with Jen, I went to work and decided then and there that I was going to give it a try and run when I got off work. I got off work at 6:00 a.m. and took off as soon as I got home--and ran three miles.

I haven't stopped since. I have learned a lot about myself during this time. I know now that my mind is the biggest mountain I have to climb. When I get over that mountain then there is nothing I can't do. I haven't quite gotten to where I need to be I am damn sure going to. That's it...my running story. Now my race report...

36th Allen Park 10k Run
So what! My first race will be a 10k. I've got it in the bag. Training for this wasn't easy. Michigan weather is so unpredictable. It rains without a cloud in the sky and the the temperature swings 30-40 degrees a day. It's 100 degrees one day and then 30 degrees the next... this isn't weather, it's malaria. The humidity is around 150% (<---fact).
Added to that, I worked midnights for most of the training. Yay, me! All is well, training went as expected. It felt like Groundhog Day. The same route over and over and over again. It felt like Groundhog Day. The same route over and over and over again. But I endured. I actually did my longest run with Katie. I loved it. Hopefully we can do one again together. 
The day of the race wasn't what I expected. I expected panic and the "poopy" kind of nervous. I didn't get there. Instead I worried about finishing.... not so much timing, just finishing. I didn't want to disappoint Katie. The kids were there and I didn't want to be a failure for them. Katie talked me down and I just sucked it up and realized that there was no way I wasn't going to finish this race. So here are some moments in my first race experience, in the order in which they occurred:
How many port-a-johns should there be for a race? Is it common for 50 racers to be waiting for 4 shitters  five minutes before race time? I was #48. Barely made it back to the line in time.

Race started and the people were going so fast to pass me. I was worried at first, but Katie reassured me ahead of time that some of these people, if not most, would burn out later in the race and they would be easy to pick off later. She was right. 
After the first mile, things just got easier. The first mile is always the point in which my mind yells "take a fucking seat, loser, you don't want to do this!" As my good friend Bobby Boucher would say, "You're wrong, Colonel Sanders!" And I pushed through. There were so many nice spectators over the first mile, people with sprinklers on (for us to run through) and cheering us on. It was a good feeling.  

At the first water station, which was after the Mile 1 maker, I remembered what Katie had told me before; take two cups--one to drink and one to pour on my head. I took only one because I didn't want to drink too much water (didn't want to risk an upset stomach which would result in me being the first man in Allen Park Race history to be running full speed while taking an involuntary shit). So 1/2 on my head and the other half went all over my face. Running and trying to drink from a tiny Dixie cup is a lot harder than it looks. FAIL.
Eli was "volunteering" by handing out water at mile three
The next couple miles was pot hole city. Hot. Hot. Hot. Thank God that there were neighborhood sprinklers were going every couple hundred feet or I don't think I would have survived. I would have surely melted.

There were a total of four (official) water stations and there was probably five more where people just took the time out of their days to hand out their own water. I was sure to thank everyone I ran past, whether or not I took water. 

I was beginning to get a little weak around mile 3 until I found a great motivator... there was this very hot, very fit woman with an awesome body and tiny little shorts with her ass hanging out of the bottom. That caught my attention immediately and I instantly thought, "You better stay behind her." I'm such a creeper. But, running behind her made the last half of the race bearable. (Jerry totally neglected to mention that *I* was also at mile three, cheering him on!)

Now the finish. I turned the corner and I saw Katie. She started snappin' away with her camera iPhone. I haven't even seen the pictures yet. Then I saw the line. I had to make a dash for it. I had to make it memorable though. Does everyone remember Me, Myself, and Irene? There was a scene in that movie where Irene and Charlie were running for a train and Charlie started running all crazy-like (elbows at a 90 degree angle and pumpin' away while high-stepping). That was me. Everyone was cheering and laughing. It was a good experience. Katie said that she didn't remember anyone else doing anything goofy to finish the race. So to do that and get a laugh out of the crowd was really fun. 
Overall, I think I did pretty good. The race was small and fun. I plan on doing another one. I am actually signed up for the Detroit Free Press Relay. Wish me luck!
Here are the "official" results:
Time: 1:01:43 (a 9:57/mile pace)
Age group: 11/14
Overall: 133/190

33 comments:

  1. Hahaha the mile 3 thing is so something my fiance would say too. Men! ;) I'm so glad he had fun! I had my first 5k today too! (The color run!)

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  2. Hahaha the mile 3 thing is so something my fiance would say too. Men! ;) I'm so glad he had fun! I had my first 5k today too! (The color run!)

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  3. Hahaha the mile 3 thing is so something my fiance would say too. Men! ;) I'm so glad he had fun! I had my first 5k today too! (The color run!)

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  4. Hahaha the mile 3 thing is so something my fiance would say too. Men! ;) I'm so glad he had fun! I had my first 5k today too! (The color run!)

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  5. Jerry is so funny! I love it when he writes for your blog!!

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  6. Congratulations Jerry on your first race! Hope you've been bitten big time by the running bug.

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  7. Great job! And I'm happy to know that you were being intentionally goofy in that last shot, because as I glanced at the blog post and saw that picture I thought, "Umm, Katie needs to work on that boy's form...." bwahahhaaaaa!!!

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  8. Oh my god. He is hilarious. I think he should do a guest post more often. :)

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  9. For a second I thought the hot, fit girl with her ass hanging out was going to be you Katie (cause he didn't mention she was running until the end of that thought!)!

    Congratulations Jerry!

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    1. That is what I thought too. I thought maybe he was being silly/sweet.

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  10. Love the guest post! Congratulations on your 10k and what I hope is the first of many for you.

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  11. yay. Katie u are suchn in inspiration to us all.
    Jerry you did well. Congrats

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  12. Congrats on finishing, Jerry!

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  13. FANTASTIC job Jerry !!!!! Wonderful time for any race, you should be very proud : )

    Run on my friend !

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  14. I like your style of writing, honest, open, and funny as hell!

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  15. Great job Jerry! Your blog makes me laugh, especially waiting for those darn port-a-potties. Also, the inspiration you got from the short shorts was truly hilarious. So like a guy.

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  16. That is hilarious like that!! Great post Jerry! I wish I could get my husband to run. Then again it might piss me off if he beat me!

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  17. Oh that was such a fun read! Thanks for sharing your first time with us!

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  18. Love it! And I agree... drinking water out of those damn dixie cups is harder than the race itself!

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  19. ok, so you got him running..next will he be blogging???? ;)
    Congrats on the first race! Sounds like you guys had a great day!

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  20. Congrats on a great first race!!

    My husband and I were in AP for the street fair. We saw you and waved, but I guess you didnt see us :-)

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    1. We must have been totally oblivious, because I didn't see you! Did either of you race, or were you just there for the fair?

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  21. Hilarious blog! Good job on the run too. Katie is a very lucky girl!!!

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  22. Good job, Jerry!!!!!!! :-)

    ~Laura

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  23. Nice job on the race and the post! Never did anything too silly at the end of a race, but I did "Mario Jump" the fire at a Warrior Dash. :)

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  24. Is there a man out there that does not make poop and tight asses the main of their post about race running?

    LOVED IT!

    As a woman I will represent: Love that your laces and shirt match. I trust that is Katie's doing.

    Way to go minimuffin!

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  25. awesome post! congrats Jerry!

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  26. Jerry,
    Great accomplishment sir. I did a few 10K runs while I was in the Military. I also accomplished a 12K RuckMArch. Those are grouling to get through, but you just have to have faith and trust in GOD to pull you through. Great Post.

    Ian

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  27. Great job, that is awesome!

    I literally laughed & spewed water on my computer. Oh, and I am at work, sneaking a peak at the blog. That has to be the best re-cap!

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  28. Well, thank you all for the kind words.
    No, I will not be blogging. I suck at it. That post took me 2 got-damn hours to type. Katie was saying, "Are you done yet?" "What's taking so long?" "How long is it going to be?". She laughed when she saw how short it actually was. I am a pecker. I type away at the keyboard like Captain Hook.

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  29. Congratulations!! AP is my hometown! :)

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  30. Oh my gosh!!! This was so funny--I laughed all the way through!! I wish I could've been there to see you run crazily across the finish line. What a riot you are!!

    Congratulations on this amazing accomplishment!!

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