Week One Recap of 3-3-3 Running

I was hoping to get a post up every day in October, but I spent ALL DAY working on a post yesterday and just didn't get it finished before cross country practice. I'm hoping to finish it up this weekend and get it posted. It's probably the longest post I've ever written!

In case you missed it, I'll explain what the 3-3-3 running is (it's kind of a dumb name for the simplest training plan ever, basically). My friend Thomas, the runner who paced me to my 10K PR, was having problems with his legs shortly after that race. The pain was so bad that he wasn't able to run. After lots of doctor's appointments, testing, and physical therapy, he was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis.

The whole process took about a year, so after getting on meds for the arthritis, he wasn't exactly in the same running shape that he was when we ran the 10K. He wanted to get back to running, so he started running for 3 miles, 3 days a week--and after 3 months, he was pretty much back to his old running schedule. (He's actually running a marathon on Sunday!)

Since I've taken so much time off of running (other than the occasional 3-miler), I'm extremely out of shape. I ran faster and farther than this in 2010, when I was still a beginner! I'm basically starting from scratch. After talking whining to Thomas about it, he told me to get off my ass and start running--3 miles, 3 days a week, for 3 months. Thus, the 3-3-3 training plan.

I was going to start it last Monday (September 23rd) but my knee started hurting on the treadmill. Out of nowhere! When I mentioned it to Thomas, he asked when was the last time I changed out my running shoes. Um, I'd say probably since before I quit running in 2017, hahaha. It didn't occur to me, but that was definitely the reason! I had a pair of Ghost 8's that I'd hoarded when they were on sale, and they were still brand new, so I started the 3-3-3 again this past Monday.

I don't know why it's so hard to make myself get started for a run. I always want to procrastinate. But since I started counting calories on Monday (which I'm still doing), I really wanted to get started with the 3-3-3 training. So, I put on some (now too tight) workout clothes and began running on the treadmill.

As you know, I am a huge believer in a combination of two running methods: the MAF (maximum aerobic function) heart rate training developed by Dr. Phil Maffetone AND the 80/20 Method by Matt Fitzgerald. Here is quick summary of my combination (I will write a more detailed post on this soon):

The 80/20 Method is simply a percentage. You spend 80% of your TIME spent running (not distance) at an easy pace; and 20% is speed work (each week). I combine this with the MAF method by using my MAF heart rate (180 minus my age (37) so mine is 143 bpm) to keep my easy runs easy enough.

I used this method to train for my 10K, and it worked SO WELL that I became a big believer of the combination of the two.

Anyway, that's what my plan is for getting back into running: 3-3-3 with MAF heart rate for now, and after some time (maybe 6 weeks or so) I'll add in 20% of my time doing speed work.

Running on the treadmill makes running at your MAF heart rate super simple. You start at what you think is an easy pace, and then when your heart rate hits your MAF rate, you slow the speed a notch. For example, I might start mine at 4.8 mph; once my heart rate reaches 144 (the number above my MAF rate) then I'll bump the speed down to 4.7 mph. I might have to lower it again to lower my heart rate. The goal is to keep your heart rate under your MAF rate the entire time.

I wrote about my first run (Monday's) on this post. It went how I expected! Slower than the last time I worked on MAF training, but I was able to run the whole time (at a turtle's pace).

On Wednesday, I did my second run, and it didn't go so well. I couldn't believe the difference in my heart rate at the same speeds! I had to lower the speed to 4.1 mph for most of it (I can walk faster than that). Even that raised my heart rate too much sometimes, so rather than go even slower, I lowered the incline to -1 (walking "downhill" basically).

On Day 2, you can see the trend of my pace getting slower and slower until the end (more-so than the previous run).

If I thought Wednesday was a mess, today was the slowest run I've EVER done--even when I was a beginner! Today, I went outside to run, because the temp was great: 56℉. I was very curious to see how my outdoor running would compare to indoor running at the same heart rate. I know I've done these comparisons before, but I love this kind of stuff.

I set my watch to beep an alarm each time my heart rate got over 143.

And beep it did.

I wanted to keep running without slowing to a walk, but I was right on the edge of that difference. (Technically speaking, running is when both feet are off the ground for a fraction of a second with each stride; with walking, one foot always has contact with the ground).

This run felt like it was all over the place--I was trying to go as slowly as I possibly could without walking, and I was concentrating on my breathing to slow my heart rate. All the normal tricks I can do to lower my heart rate! But I had a very hard time with it.

I did stop twice during the run, which actually probably helped my heart rate (it got very low each time I stopped). First, I didn't realize my parents were having a garage sale and when I ran by their house, I stopped by to say hi and see what they were selling. Then, I ran into that elderly man who I've seen for YEARS out walking.

When I was running almost every morning, he was always out walking, and we'd say a polite hello. He used to say encouraging words to me when I was marathon training. Then one day, I asked to walk with him for a bit to learn more about him. He's a very nice man (I'm guessing in his late 70's?) and he literally walks 6 days a week for 3-5 miles at a time. Doesn't even matter what the weather is!

So, when I saw him, he mentioned it was good to see me out there again, and I told him I'm trying to get back into it. We chatted for a few minutes, and then I got going again. It didn't even take two minutes or so for my heart rate to be back up to my MAF rate again.

I wasn't planning to look at my mile splits during the run, but I couldn't help it--and I was shocked to see that they were in the mid-14:00's! I don't know if this was just a bad day or if I truly am THAT out of shape. That's nearly twice as slow as my pace 10K pace (in 2016).

And this is the mess that was my outdoor run today. The drops in heart rate are the points where I stopped running for a few minutes.

I'm beyond the point of being "too proud" to write about my running pace. I don't care about being in the back of the pack (it's funner back there!); but I do want to get in shape at least enough to where I don't have to constantly slow down my speed.

Also, I'd like to run where it doesn't take me over 43 minutes to finish a 3 mile run! I love doing 10-minute miles, because it's easy to figure out exactly how long it will take. I would be very happy to get to that point. Or even 11:00/mi.

Anyway, that was the first week of 3-3-3 training. Ideally, I'd like to run on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. If I can make those my regular days, then there will be no procrastination. And I'll have the weekends off!

By the way, the calorie counting is going well. I am choosing not to weigh myself until the end of October, though. I just don't want to see a small number after the work I've been putting into it, so if I continue like I am, I'll post my results at the end of the month and then hopefully I'll do weekly weigh-ins again (and running recaps!).

I kind of miss writing about this stuff :)

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'Tis the Season for Weight Loss

(The above picture is from 2017, in case you're wondering if I've lost 30 pounds in the last 3 days, hahaha)

I know that I am only on the third day of calorie counting (and running again), so it's way too soon to say that I'm going to stick with it to get these extra pounds off. However, I started thinking about what makes things different each time I attempt to lose weight.

Fall has always been the best time for me when it comes to sticking with an eating and exercise plan. Summer is the hardest.

Fall is coincidentally my favorite season. I love everything about it! The crisp air, the changing colors, wearing hoodies, having bonfires, cooking lots of soup... it's fantastic. So, I think that because it's my favorite season and I am so happy with all those things, I tend not to eat for emotional reasons. I'm typically a happier person in the fall.

I think that the reason fall has so much to do with it is because it's the busiest time of year for me. The kids go back to school, so I'm getting them up and ready and driving them to and from. I coach cross country (in the past, we always started practices in mid-August, but this year, I started in mid-July, so it was a busy summer as well).

Cross country takes up way more time than it actually needs to--I just love doing it, especially all the nerdy stuff. I'm embarrassed to even say how many spreadsheets I have for this season! Hahaha.

After each practice and race, I enter a bajillion numbers into my spreadsheets (not just to keep track of results and all that, but also for the points system I have going this year--it has been so helpful in keeping the kids motivated).

The season is over two weeks from today! That just seems so crazy how fast it went by.

Anyway, staying busy with cross country has definitely kept me busy and when I'm busy, I have less time to think about food and eat for reasons other than hunger.

I also tend to go through hypomanic episodes in the fall, and that helps with weight loss (when hypomanic, I never want "waste" the time to eat!) but hypomania has so many bad side effects as well. Not worth the weight loss. Since starting my bipolar meds in 2017, my mood has been pretty stable.

If you picture a roller coaster, while I'm on my meds the hills and valleys are very small; before my meds, a hypomanic episode was like the peak of a huge roller coaster and a depressive episode was at the very bottom. I still have ups and downs, but nothing like they were before.

With the cool, crisp air in the fall, I'm also much more likely to run. I love running in the late fall and early winter when it's cold enough to wear my "ninja clothes" as I like to call them (long sleeves and pants).

(Man, I wish I was back at that weight... I was 133-ish in this picture, I think. It was from late 2017.)

Right now, I'm too self-conscious to wear my ninja clothes (if I could even fit into them!). Maybe, if I stick with this weight loss attempt, I'll be able to wear them again in a few months. This one was from last fall:

One thing that I need to plan for is when I'm NOT super busy. When cross country ends in two weeks, I'm going to have 3-4 evenings a week where I won't have practice or a meet, AND I won't be spending a few hours on the computer each week working on cross country stuff.

Last year, I was super busy remodeling the house. I would like to work on the outside of the house, but wintertime isn't exactly the best time to do that. The laundry room is our final room that needs to be remodeled, so perhaps I'll work on that. It's going to be tough, because we have the washer, dryer, and furnace in there, which are all too big to move around. And the room is fairly small.

Several of the kids on my cross country team have asked about continuing to run through the winter. I'd love to do something like that, but it takes up a lot of time, and I think I'd want to be paid for it. It's an option, at least.

And if you haven't noticed, I've been blogging more! My goal last month was to blog every day, and while I didn't do that, I did blog a heck of a lot more than if I hadn't set that goal. I am going to try again to do it this month.

I have a book of writing prompts (random questions) so if I can't think of anything to write about, I'll just choose a writing prompt. Blogging keeps me super busy and the time goes by way too fast when I'm doing it!

Well, Jerry and I are going on a date night tonight... to see Friends at the theater!! They are showing four episodes of Friends on the big screen, and you all know that we are pretty much the biggest Friends fans ever--so I'm very excited about going. We never go out on dates anymore! And what could be more "us" than going to see Friends? :)

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Day One of Calorie Counting

Do you notice anyone spying on me while I write this blog? ;)  Here's a clearer look:

I can't tell you how many times I get up from writing a blog post because the squirrels come looking for their daily treats. I love it! (Although trying to blog and trying to cook uninterrupted has become impossible. Sometimes, I'll look up from washing my hands in the kitchen sink to see a squirrel perched on the deck watching me.

Anyway, I have to say, I'm kind of surprised that the first day of calorie counting went off without a hitch! I'm SURE it's because I had everything planned out well (especially having entered the recipes ahead of time into Fat Secret.

It felt odd getting back in the eating schedule. I spent some time in the morning baking the Pumpkin Cranberry Apple Baked Oatmeal for breakfast, so I ate lunch much later than I planned. As a consequence, I wasn't hungry for lunch. But then I was starving for dinner at 4:00, which is the time I planned on eating dinner anyway.

I just re-published the recipe (when I originally published it, I back-dated it so that I wouldn't bombard my feed with a trillion recipes at one time; but with it being fall now, I thought it'd be an appropriate time to share again. And since I'm counting calories again, I even included the nutrition info.)

The Baked Oatmeal was delicious and reminded me of fall. So did the weather! We've had very nice fall weather the last few days (although today it's supposed to be 88 degrees--yay, Michigan).

Today, my team has a cross country meet so I didn't hold a practice yesterday, which meant I had more time to spend on cooking dinner. So, I chose the most laborious dinner I'd planned for the week--Chicken Fajita Bowls.

I despise doing the prep work for this dish! But it's so delicious that once in a while, I will do it. And complain the entire time. Just ask Jerry. He offers to help, but I am such a control freak in the kitchen that I won't accept help. He does the dishes instead, which is a chore that I hate even more than prepping food, so it balances out ;)

I had to trim and slice the raw chicken breasts (I'd bought four pounds of chicken for two meals--that usually yields 3-1/2 pounds after I trim it to my liking). I used to get by with one pound per meal, but my growing boys are always asking for more. Since I was already slicing chicken for this meal, I just figured I might as well do all of it at once. So, I swear I felt like I was slicing chicken for hours. (Because chicken breasts are so big, I butterfly them, cut them in half, and THEN slice them, which is why it takes so long.)

After all of that, I had to slice two onions and four bell peppers. Thankfully, I already had some Homemade Fajita Seasoning mix made and stored in the pantry. Once the prep work is done, the meal is a breeze, though. (I used to love to cook; I don't know what happened.)

So, dinner was delicious and we had plenty of leftovers for lunch today. I was surprised just how few calories the meal has--300 total, which includes 2/3 cup of cooked rice and 1/6 of the recipe (probably about one cup--maybe a little more--of chicken, peppers, and onions with sauce). If you're looking for something filling, this is perfect!

On top of counting calories yesterday like the old pro that I am, I actually ran three miles on the treadmill. I'm still doing heart rate training with my MAF (maximum aerobic function) heart rate (180 minus my age, so my maximum is 143 beats per minute right now). When I ran regularly for three weeks a month or so ago, I was seeing progress--my pace was getting faster while maintaining the same heart rate. (I will do an in-depth post about MAF training--my way--soon, because I've been getting a lot of questions about it lately.)

However, I have found that I backslide quickly when I stop running. So, instead of being able to run from 4.7-5.0 mph (ish) to maintain a 143 bpm heart rate, I started at 4.7 mph yesterday and had to lower it a few times--ending on 4.4 mph. I'd like to run three days a week (four would be even better!) and see if I can make some improvement again.

On the treadmill, I started watching the show 24 starting with the first season (I watched the show YEARS ago, and I don't really remember anything except that I liked it). It's such a fast-paced show and each episode is roughly the same amount of time it takes for me to run three miles right now. The episode actually finishes about a minute or so before I do--so my first goal is to be able to watch the whole episode in under three miles, haha.

I thought about getting up early today to run, but I was SO tired I just couldn't do it. I really need a schedule so that I force myself to do it. My "Your Best 5K Plan" is perfect in the sense that it combines the MAF method with the 80/20 method; but it's not necessarily for beginners. So, I think I'll work on writing a plan similar to that, only for beginners. (I'm basically a beginner again)

For some reason, I still prefer to run on the treadmill right now. I think that's perhaps because it's easier to control my heart rate with the treadmill belt being a constant speed. Now that it's cooling off outside, though, and with fall being my favorite season, I may take it outdoors. I always feel fantastic after an outdoor run! I miss that feeling a lot.

Anyway, I'm glad I had a good first day with calorie counting. It's only a day, but still--it's a day! :)

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RECIPE: Pumpkin Cranberry Apple Baked Oatmeal

I've had this recipe on my blog for a while, but I back-dated it so that it wouldn't show up on my feed (I didn't want to bombard you all with dozens of recipes in a single day). But since it's finally fall, and it's pumpkin season, I thought I'd re-share it now.

This baked oatmeal combines all the best flavors of fall! Pumpkin, cranberries, apples, pecans, and cinnamon--a delicious combination! I made some tweaks from the original recipe, which can be found at My Kitchen Addiction.

Click here for the printer-friendly PDF

Pumpkin Cranberry Apple Baked Oatmeal

Ingredients:

2 cups old-fashioned oats

1/4 cup flaxseed

1/3 cup packed brown sugar

2 tsp. cinnamon

1/4 tsp. salt

1 tsp. baking powder

1/2 cup dried cranberries (or raisins, but the cranberries are the best!)

1-1/2 cups milk (I use whole fat milk)

1/2 cup canned pumpkin

1 Tbsp. melted coconut oil or butter
1 egg, beaten

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1 medium apple, peeled and chopped

1/2 cup chopped pecans, divided
warm milk and brown sugar, for serving

Directions:

Preheat oven to 375 F. Spray an 8x8 or 9x9 baking dish with cooking spray or grease with a teaspoon or so of oil. In a mixing bowl, combine the brown sugar, egg, pumpkin, milk, oil or butter, and vanilla. Add the oats, flaxseed, cinnamon, salt, and baking powder, and mix well. Fold in the cranberries, apples, and half of the pecans.

Pour into prepared baking dish and top with the rest of the pecans. Bake uncovered at 375 F for about 25 minutes. Let it cool for about 10 minutes before cutting. It will be soft-set (not firm like oatmeal bars). Cut into 6 pieces. Top each serving with 2 Tbsp. warm milk and 1 tsp. brown sugar.

When made as written in the recipe, 1/6 of the recipe contains 347 calories; for 1/8 of the recipe, it contains 260 calories (without topping with milk and sugar)

   

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Getting Prepared for Counting Calories (and hopefully drop these extra pounds I picked up!)

Like I've mentioned, if I want to get any of this extra weight off, I'm going to have to go back to the tried and true method of counting calories. I was able to lose weight in 2017 by becoming very in-tune with my body (and not counting anything), but that just doesn't seem to be working for me anymore. Even though I "hear" what my body is saying, I just can't seem to do what it's telling me.

When I get into a groove with calorie counting, I don't mind it. I kind of like it, actually, because I'm such a numbers person! But when I'm unprepared, I hate it. I absolutely hate having to figure out the calories in the recipe I'm going to make for dinner--especially when I'm starving and I just want to hurry up and eat.

I've done calorie counting on a whim, and I never last more than a day or two at most. And I think it's because I go into it unprepared (mentally and physically). The times I've been successful, I've prepared myself. And that's what I've been doing lately. I want to feel confident going into it.

(I talk about this like it's some enormous, meaningful life change, haha--I realize it's just calorie counting! But I want to stick with it this time, so I'm taking it seriously.)

Step 1: The night before you start counting calories, eat all of the junk food in your house so that you're not tempted to binge on it when you start counting. (KIDDING! But you know we've all done it...)

Honestly, this is what I've done to prepare myself:

I choose what method I will use (pen and paper, or an app of some sort). Currently, I'm a big fan of the Fat Secret app. I used to use My Fitness Pal, but the ads got to be too much when I was entering food items, and Fat Secret is much simpler. I like simple. (I wrote a whole post about why I like Fat Secret here.) Pen and paper has always been trusty, too, but this time, I will be doing Fat Secret.

Next, I make a meal plan. Usually, I plan out dinners for the week by going through my homemade recipe book, and I have a few different options for breakfast and lunch. Once I plan out the meals, I make a list of all the ingredients I need and I go grocery shopping. (Most of the recipes in the book can be found on my Recipes page on my blog)

I always make sure to buy a few "convenience" foods that I can use as a back-up if my day doesn't go as planned--frozen dinners, Spaghetti-O's (a guilty pleasure of mine), things like that. That way, if my kids make plans with friends and Jerry's at work, I can just eat something simple without saying, "Oh, screw it! I'll go through a drive-thru and eat all the food."

To solve the problem of cooking dinner when I'm starving, and trying to measure foods and count calories, I prepare all of the counting work ahead of time. This is probably the most important/helpful thing that I do to prepare for calorie counting: I take the time to create a "recipe" on the app of my go-to recipes (family favorites, things I make frequently, basically everything that is in my homemade cookbook).

When meal planning, and I'm going to be making a new recipe, I also take the time to enter the recipe into Fat Secret so that I don't have to figure anything out while cooking.

Then, when I'm cooking dinner, I take out my recipe book and cook the recipe as I've written it. I do measure or weigh most things (for things like onions, I just cut up an onion and I don't worry about whether it's considered "small" "medium" or "large"; and some vegetables I just eyeball as I'm cooking. I'm very good about not being "heavy handed" while portioning things out.

(I specifically remember the first time I thought about this. When I was losing weight back in 2009-2010, I remember measuring out a cup of spaghetti. I was tempted to make it a heaping cup and count it as a cup--and then it occurred to me that the only person I'm cheating is myself! I can certainly do that, but then it will have an effect on my weight loss, so what's the point? As a result, I'm always honest when I measure my foods.)

Using a food scale is always helpful, too. There are a lot of foods that are very inaccurate with their measurement versus weight. One of them is an avocado--when you log 1/4 of an avocado on an app, for example, it's lists quite a bit more calories than when you weight out your 1/4 avocado. So, you're not getting as much as you should for the amount of calories you're counting!

This also works in reverse sometimes (actually, most of the time). When I weigh out a serving of oatmeal (40 grams), for example, I get less than 1/2 cup (the serving size). I've yet to find a good food scale, however. The one I currently have is super annoying--touching the button that changes from grams to ounces rarely works because it's SO sensitive that all it does is change the weight as your finger touches it. I don't want anything fancy! Just a digital scale that tells me grams and ounces. I'll start looking for a new one.

The night before I start counting, I make sure to write everything out that I plan to eat. That way, when I'm hungry, I don't have to decide what to eat--which usually leads to eating too much. I don't do this every night, because I have no idea what I'm going to be in the mood for, but I do have a basic idea of what I'll be eating.

When I count calories, I don't change the foods I eat--I eat what I enjoy, healthy or not, and I just keep track of the calories in it. So, I don't have to make "special foods" apart from the family. I just cook regular recipes with regular ingredients (no low fat or "diet" foods). I prefer eating quality over quantity. This comes in handy when meal planning--keeping it simple, as I don't have to alter recipes to be lower in fat, carbs, etc.

I also don't worry about carbs or protein or fat, or anything else. When I eat what I enjoy, I find that my body tends to eat fairly balanced over a period of time. Some days, I might eat nothing but junk, and other days, I might be on a super healthy food kick. Usually it's somewhere in between.

Something else that I do to prepare for calorie counting is that I plan for a treat to have in the evenings. (I consider the difference between treats and snacks to be this: a "treat" has no real nutritional value where a snack does have value.)

I find that if I plan to include a treat to look forward to each evening, I'm much happier with calorie counting throughout the day. I used to do wine and chocolate, but now that I'm not drinking, I will probably have an alcohol-free Heineken and some pretzels or fruit snacks.

Yesterday, I planned out our meals for the week. I'm going to make Pumpkin Cranberry Apple Baked Oatmeal and then eat that all week long. Lunch is always the hardest for me. I usually end up putting together several snack foods--cheese, apples, toast, pretzels with hummus, things like that. Doesn't this oatmeal look so good?! It tastes like fall. And I'm ready for fall. (The recipe is here: Pumpkin Cranberry Apple Baked Oatmeal.)

Finally, I look at my schedule and think about any situations that I may have to deal with--going out to dinner, getting together with friends, spending the entire day at Eli's baseball games, etc. I make a plan for what I'll eat, and I usually plan a lighter calorie day around the situation.

When I was super strict in 2009-2010, I usually didn't eat at all in those situations and I would eat at home before or after. However, I've since realized that I want to live a relatively "normal" life while counting calories (much like I did in late 2015-early 2016).

I didn't have any strict rules--the main thing I focused on was eating "normal" sized portions (the calories helped me to figure out what that was) and eating just four times a day--breakfast at 8:00, lunch at 12:00, dinner at 4:00, and snack at 8:00. I felt my best that way, and it worked very well for me.

So, tomorrow is the big first day of calorie counting, and I feel prepared! I've been working for the last few days on getting my recipes entered into Fat Secret, meal planning and grocery shopping. Jerry is totally on board, too--he wants to drop about 20 pounds.

If I manage to stick with this and see some progress, I'll even start doing Wednesday Weigh-Ins again! My mom mentioned today that I should take photos every five pounds or something, and put together a video like I did of my initial weight loss. I haven't watched this in forever!

There obviously won't be as drastic a difference if I work on dropping 20-30 pounds, but I'd still like to document it. And who knows, maybe it will be pretty noticeable. I miss the confidence that I felt as I was losing the weight in 2009-2010. Even at my current weight, I felt so much better than I do now. And that's really why I finally feel ready to do this... because I want to feel better.

FYI, here is my past post of "How I Calorie Counted My Way Back to My Goal Weight" which explains more about how I count calories. I got a lot of questions about it because it was working so well. Slightly different in what others do, because I don't put a "cap" on the calories I can eat each day. But it works for me! And you know I always encourage doing what works for you, because we are all individuals.

Here goes nothing! ;)

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My Weight Loss Goal List from 10 Years Ago (and how it measures up to my current body/weight)

It occurred to me recently that next year will be 10 years since I reached my goal weight. Because it's a nice round number, I want to hit that date with a bang. I want to look and feel as great as I did 10 years ago!

I have a full year until then, so I'm going to try to come up with a plan to reach those goals. With over a year, I can make some serious goals that will require dedication. I think that would be great for me! (Using the seasons--fall, winter, spring, and summer--as guidelines will be helpful. I can start with the goals I wrote for fall).

Anyway, all this had me thinking about the beginning of my weight loss journey (I hate the cliché phrase "weight loss journey" but I'm not sure what else to call it).

At this point 10 years ago, I'd been on Day 41 of counting Weight Watchers' Points. I wasn't going to Weight Watchers meetings or anything; I had all the program materials at home, so I just used that to follow the plan on my own. And I was a bit of an expert--I'd joined and quit so many times before, it was no big deal for me. And I honestly didn't think that time would be any different.

So, 10 years and 41 days ago:

I hadn't yet started running. I wasn't do any exercise at all, actually. Changing my diet was hard enough, and I hated exercise, so I didn't force it.

I weighed 235.5 pounds, which was a loss of 17.5 pounds from my starting date of August 19, 2009.

On September 23, 2009, I wrote this list of things to look forward to when I'm "thin"--things thin people may take for granted (I didn't specify what "thin" meant, however--I think that, at 167-ish pounds right now, my "old self" would consider my current self as "thin" at this weight. I certainly don't feel thin right now, but when I was 235 pounds, I would have killed to be at this weight!):

1. Bend over and tie my shoes without holding my breath.

Thankfully, I can do this! It didn't take too long before this was possible (maybe three months into my journey?)

2. Take off my wedding rings (they've been stuck on my finger for more than 2 years now).

Yes, I can take them off. And I actually did... permanently. It's not that I don't want people knowing I'm married, but I am not a jewelry person (well, except for my ears) and I didn't love wearing my rings. So, after discussing it with Jerry, I sold them. Maybe someday Jerry and I will get simple bands. (He had to take off his ring frequently for work, so he doesn't wear his anymore, either).

3. Wrap a normal-sized bath towel ALL the way around me.

I can definitely still do this. It's hard to remember NOT being able to, because I have so much extra room now. At 253 pounds, I remember there was a gap in front that wouldn't close.

4. When I go clothes shopping, looking for clothes I LIKE first, followed by finding my size--right now, I automatically look for my size, THEN look to see if I like it.

I hate clothes shopping right now, because my size is so much higher than two years ago. I recently  found myself looking at sizes first, and then whether or not I liked the item when deciding. I remembered this goal on my list, and I corrected it. I started looking through clothes to find what I liked, and then checked the size. So, this one is a so-so.

5. Sit Indian-style on the floor.

I know that "Indian-style" is not politically correct but those of you from my generation probably know what I mean. I'm not sure what the PC term is now? Anyway... Yes, I can still do this, and I find it very comfortable sometimes! I sat on a hill today at the cross country meet, and it makes my legs feel good. At my thinnest, I could sit on an airplane seat like that! I most certainly couldn't do it with the extra pounds right now, though.

6. Sit on the floor at all without shifting positions 100 times from being so uncomfortable.

This is another so-so. I do change positions a lot! It's not usually because of my weight, though; it's usually because of my pain. I have bad back pain, so I try to sit in a way that makes it comfortable. However, holding still is hard for me.

7. Wear CUTE bras and panties, rather than the comfy granny-panties.

Sadly, I've gone back to the comfy granny panties! I really miss wearing cute panties, but I don't feel "cute" wearing them. I just don't love how my body looks when I'm naked (or close to it) so I dress for comfort rather than how I look. This is a bummer! (Jerry thinks so, too)

8. Ride a bike without my butt hurting really badly.

I haven't ridden a bike lately, so I'll have to do that. The couple of times I was going to ride it, the tires needed air, and I didn't bother looking for the air pump (sheer laziness, I know). The last time I rode, though, I was able to do it without my butt hurting.

9. Enjoy getting my picture taken.

No, no, and NO. I hate it right now! I can't help but compare it to how I looked even 18 months ago. I wish that I truly didn't care, but I'd be lying if I said that. I think even if I lost just 5-10 pounds, I'd feel a lot better about myself. The only pics I have right now are ones that others have taken (usually at cross country).

10. Wear clothes comfortably, without tugging my shirt down.

This is another no. I'm very self-conscious right now about how things fit (or don't fit), and I still tug at my clothes to hide the spots I dislike (my stomach, arms, hips).

11. Sit in a lawn chair without worrying about exceeding the weight limit.

Definitely don't have to worry about that anymore, unless it's a child's chair ;)

12. Go to an amusement park without worrying whether I will fit into the seats on rides.

I haven't been to an amusement park in a long time, but I'm sure that at this size, I'd fit just fine on the rides.

13. SINK in a pool instead of float.

I haven't been swimming (I really hate the pool) so I'm not sure about this one. My body fat is up quite a bit since last time, so maybe I'd float. Who knows?

14. Sleep without snoring.

Luckily for Jerry, I don't snore ;) Nor do I have sleep apnea anymore, like I did at 253 pounds!

15. Cross my legs with ease.

This depends on what I'm wearing, I think. If I'm wearing tight jeans and sitting in a smaller chair, then it probably takes effort. But if I have room to shift my weight to one hip or another, then I can cross my legs.

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For the most part, I'm much better off now than I was 10 years ago. I think that most of the issue I have with my weight now is cosmetic. There are few physical things that I wish were more comfortable--like cross my legs with ease, exercise (running feels SO challenging right now), and doing activities that normally (when thinner) wouldn't make me out of breath or sweaty.

One of the biggest positives right now is that I am much more active on a daily basis than ever before (well, maybe not when training for the Chicago Marathon, haha). But because I love doing projects around the house, I put a LOT of blood (literally), sweat (literally), and tears (literally) into my projects. I love doing them, and as a bonus, they are tough work!

I had been planning to share pictures of myself at that size--from September 2009, at 230-240 pounds, but I don't have any! I actually just have the following picture, from Noah's first day of kindergarten:

And my most recent picture (sitting "Indian style" with the kids at cross country):

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Quitting Binge Eating: 6 (Fresh) Activity Ideas That Helped Me To Stop Bingeing

As you all know, my weight is up quite a bit from my goal--I've been hanging out in the mid-160's for several months. I'd love to get my weight back down to where I feel comfortable (about 145 is the maximum I'd like to be; when my weight gets higher than that, I start to feel the negative effects).

However, despite the semi-recent weight gain, I've stopped binge eating. I don't know exactly how long it's been, but I literally can't remember my last binge. I've certainly eaten more than "normal" occasionally, and portion control is an issue sometimes; but I've not had an actual binge in a very long time.

Over the years, I've learned to use new activities to help me stop binge eating (both when I was losing the weight in 2009-2010 and currently). I hate reading these types of lists, because they normally are very typical--each list is the same: go for a walk, read a book, call a friend, take a bath, etc. Those things rarely appeal to me! So I hope my list is a bit more unique.

Here are some things that I found useful in keeping my hands and/or mind busy:


1) Playing solitaire with a real deck of cards. 

I like using actual physical cards to play solitaire, especially when playing my favorite game, Grandma's Game. There are some games I play on my iPad, but I absolutely LOVE that particular game--so much so that I actually made a video for my blog about how to play it. I didn't know the name of it for about two decades! My mom taught me when I was little, and I loved it right away. I've only won once in my life.

Anyway, the benefit to using a real deck of cards (or two decks, in my case) is that it keeps your hands busy. You don't want to get food on the cards, obviously, so eating + solitaire = mess.

2) Completing projects around the house (and learning new skills in the process).

As you know, this has been my latest pastime that I just can't get enough of! While making over my entire house (DIY-style), I learned SO many new skills--drywalling, painting, cutting and installing trim, making my own countertops, installing new doors, building custom shelves, and lots more.

I discovered that I love painting (furniture, trim, doors--anything other than walls). There are very few things left in my house that haven't been painted recently, haha. A fresh coat of paint makes a huge difference in how something looks, but it also keeps my hands busy. I like to put on a good true crime podcast and take my time painting. (My current favorites are Morbid and True Crime All The Time)

I also learned that I love woodworking. This is my new favorite hobby. I learn more each time I make a project, and I'm getting better at it every time. I discovered power tools that I'd never used before and now those are pretty much my favorite things that I own. I would choose a trip to Lowe's over a mani/pedi at the salon any day!

It can be an expensive hobby, so I am limited as to how much I can do. I also have a small car, so transporting materials isn't easy--the maximum board length that I can fit is 8 feet; and sheets of plywood have to be cut down at Lowe's. Anyway, once I get started on a woodworking project, I don't want to stop for anything--I hate leaving projects half-finished. Even if I am starving, I would rather skip a meal than quit in the middle of a woodworking project.

The past couple of days, I've been working on a set of steps for my side door. We had a small porch there, but it was a waste of space because we rarely use that door; not to mention that the wood was starting to rot and it was in really bad shape. I'll post photos of that soon.

Another household project that I loved working on was replacing the trim along the floor and the casings around the doors and windows. There are several windows and doorways that I haven't done yet (again, it's an expense), but when I do them, I love the process of measuring and then cutting with my miter saw (that I bought used on Facebook Marketplace for cheap!). And then using my Paslode (again, Facebook Marketplace) is embarrassingly exciting for me, hahaha.

3) Organizing a drawer or closet.

If you're not into organizing, this obviously isn't for you; but I absolutely love the result of taking something that is very messy and making it very neat. It's super satisfying! It's also not something that I can do while eating, and it makes me want to continue until it's finished.

If you're unsure where to start, I'd start by going through your closet and finding clothes to donate. For me, this takes up a lot of time and energy because I try on almost everything as I decide whether or not to keep it. After reading The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, I was inspired to reorganize my clothes and to ditch 95% of my clothes hangers.

It truly was "life changing". The day I organized my clothes (including socks and underwear) into neat folds, I haven't had a messy drawer since! It's very easy to keep up with once it's done. The original process was a HUGE project, but I found it fun to work on and again--it kept me from binge eating.

4) Making my own recipe book.

This was a long project, and always ongoing. First, I created a Pages/Word template so that all I had to do was fill in the boxes with recipe name, ingredients, and directions. Then, I gathered all the recipes that I used frequently or were family favorites and I typed them into the template. After that, I printed them, put them into page sleeves, and organized them in a 3-ring binder.

I use it all the time when meal planning and cooking. (Actually, I will include the template below, in case anyone wants to use it! You may want to change the font to your own liking and save the template as your own, so you don't have to change the font for each recipe.)

This project was very helpful in two ways--one, I kept myself very occupied by initially making the book. It took several weeks of working on it for a couple of hours here and there. Also, as I mentioned, it's super helpful in everyday life! When I need meal ideas or when I'm making a grocery list, I don't have to find each recipe on my computer or search through cookbooks. I just pull out my binder. Occasionally, when I make something new and we enjoy it, I'll add it to the book.

Recipe templates: Here is the template to type in and print recipes. Just save it to your computer as a template.

5) Organizing photos on my computer. 

At this moment, I have over 30,000 photos on my computer. It's insane! Since I wanted digital copies of all of my photos, I started by either scanning or taking photos of the photos I had copies of. Obviously, taking photos of photos isn't ideal, but it's certainly more than adequate. You can't even tell that it's not the original on most of them.

After all photos were digital, I saved them to a folder on my computer from every source I had (flash drives, external hard drive, my phone, etc). Once they were all on my computer, I put them in a folder and saved them all to my external hard drive (just in case something should happen to my computer, I have a back-up).

Then, I started to go through them and change the dates on the ones that I'd scanned in (otherwise, the date on the photo will be the date you scan it rather than the date it was taken). To do this, I used a very cool app called ShootShifter that allows you to organize photos in a folder. On ShootShifter, you can drag photos to the order that you want and correct the dates, filenames, and other things. This is my favorite app for correcting dates/times, because all you have to do is drag the photos in the order you want, and it will automatically correct the dates based on your preferences.

Then there was a problem with duplicate photos. SOOOO many of them! I downloaded an app called Duplicate Photos Fixer Pro, which allows you to use your preferred settings to find duplicates (or near-duplicates... like when you take 2-3 pictures in a row to make sure no one is blinking, etc).

When all of the photos were corrected and duplicates deleted, I created a brand new folder and saved them there--both on my computer and my external hard drive.

The next step was finally organizing them. Since I have a MacBook, I have the Photos app on my computer (I'm not sure what the Microsoft equivalent is). I uploaded all of my photos into Photos (I hate that they didn't come up with a slightly more creative name than "Photos" for the app!).

From the Photos app, I started tagging the faces in each photo. Once you tag several of the same people, the app itself will search for people that it believes are the same, and you can accept or deny the tag (it saves you from having to tag every single photo).

I also created keywords for things like pets, races, travel, food, etc., and I added the keywords to the fitting photos. I created albums of photos using the "Smart Albums" feature--you list a guideline or two, and the app will take all of those photos and put them into an album.

For example, I can make a Smart Album with photos that include "kids" and "pets"--so the app will automatically take all of the photos with those keywords and put them into the album. Then I will have lots of pictures of my kids with our pets. I have Smart Albums for things like races, food, holidays, etc. Then, when I need a photo (let's say I'm looking for a race photo to use on my blog) I can just sort through that album until I find what I need.

6) Knitting or crocheting.

This one isn't a very unique idea, but during the beginning of my weight loss, this was a huge help to me. I obviously didn't want to eat while knitting or crocheting because I didn't want food on the yarn I was working with! This was also something that I could do at night when watching TV after the kids were in bed. Prior to that, I would put the kids to bed and then dig out the binge food to eat while I watched my shows.

I also started to choose more complicated patterns (like lace) because you have to pay very close attention to the pattern while knitting. One missed step or dropped stitch could be detrimental while working an intricate pattern. Now that I've been really into podcasts (which weren't really a "thing" back then), I can listen to a podcast and knit or crochet at the same time.

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Well, there you have it! Hopefully these are some helpful ideas. If you have more ideas, I'd love to read them. It basically boils down to finding things we enjoy doing MORE than binge eating. And the things on this list fit the bill for me. Despite the weight gain, I'm thrilled that I'm free of binge eating (hopefully for good)!

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My Choice to Be Jerk #1

This is one of the most vulnerable posts I've ever written.

That is saying quite a bit, considering I've shared about my constant battles with weight gain/loss, depression, anxiety, my bipolar diagnosis, sex, setting and failing at goals, and even photos in my underwear after I had my skin removal surgery.

Spence died today.

And I'm going to write about my choice between being Jerk #1 or Jerk #2 in the situation. I hope that it will help others make the choice as well.

There is so much I want to write about, but to do so, I have to start at the beginning.

Who is Spence?

I grew up in a very small town (two-square-miles-with-only-one-traffic-light small) and everybody knew everybody. From the day I was born until I was 15-1/2, I grew up in a small neighborhood of about five square blocks with roughly 10 houses per street. When I say everybody knew everybody, I'm not exaggerating.

I was very lucky to have several kids in my neighborhood that were the same age (give or take a year or so) and we all grew up together. In fact, there was a girl my age (Sarah) that lived just two houses away from me--and she was even born just three days before me! We were completely inseparable all through our childhood, and we were even college roommates later on.

We even celebrated our birthdays together. Remember when you could have birthday parties at McDonald's and they would give you this cake? I loved eating the sugar pieces on top! haha

There was a small group of kids on my block that remained very close as we grew up (including my brother, Nathan): brothers Brian and Mike, who lived next door to me, as well as their younger sister Stephanie; Shannon, a "latch key kid" who lived across the street; Sarah and her brother, Joe, who lived a couple of houses down; brothers Lance and Spence, who lived behind me; Chris and Matt, who spent time at their grandma's house frequently; and a few other kids who came and went.

Standing at the bus stop before school:

(I have no idea who is on the far left of this photo below, hahaha). Left to right: Unknown, Lance, Nathan, Sarah, me, and Spence and Joe in front.

Brian, Shannon, Sarah, Lance, and I were all the same age--isn't that crazy for such a small town? Mike, Nathan, and Joe were the same age as well, a couple of years younger. Stephanie and Spence were much younger (in relative terms)--about five years younger than I was. But our "core" group consisted of myself, Nathan, Sarah, Joe, Lance, and Spence.

Sarah's mom, Sue, Lance's mom, Wendy, and my mom (also Sue) were close friends considering they had children of the same age and were going through the same stages of life together. So, our three families would get together quite often.

I remember a tradition that we had every Christmas--we would do a book exchange and meet at Pizza Hut or Chuck E. Cheese's for dinner. It was kind of a secret Santa thing--we'd draw names and buy a book for each other (our parents chose them, of course! haha)

Below... Clockwise starting with me in the blue pants with a mullet cut: Nathan, Spence, Lance, Sarah, and Joe. We were at Chuck E Cheese's for our Christmas book exchange.

I hate to word it this way, but Spence was kind of the oddball of the group. Sarah, Lance, and I were the same age; Nathan and Joe were the same age; but Spence was a few years younger, and when you're only seven or eight years old, that's quite a difference. So, I'm ashamed to admit that I was never close with Spence. I remember playing with him when everybody was very young, but once I was about 10 or so, things started changing and everyone was moving on with separate interests.

We still hung out during the summers playing sandlot baseball, but I don't remember Spence ever being a part of that. I don't know if he wasn't interested or if I just didn't notice him, but my memories of spending time with Spence end at around 10 years old.

Lance, Sarah, and I were close--in fact, Sarah was my maid-of-honor and Lance was the best man at Jerry's and my wedding! We've known each other for about 37 years, and most of the memories I have from my childhood involve the crew I grew up with.

It's no secret that my very favorite place I've ever visited is Portland, Oregon. Before I ever visited Portland, however, Spence actually moved there! He lived there for about eight years before he got sick.

Each time I went out there, I felt a nagging feeling like I should get in touch with him to just have coffee or something; but I felt it would be awkward because we were never close friends. Spence and I were acquaintances, and hadn't spoken in probably over a decade.

So, I didn't get in touch with him. Ever. I still kept in touch with Lance, and I still saw Wendy now and then, but not Spence. At Christmastime, I have always invited my childhood crew over for board games and laughs and sharing memories. Rather than deliberately invite Spence myself, I would just mention to Lance that he's welcome to bring Spence. He came once or twice, but even then, I felt awkward about what to talk about.

Left to right: Joe, Nathan, Lance, me, Sarah, and Spence

In November of 2017, my mom called me with news that shocked me to my core: Spence had multiple tumors in and around his brain and they were going to do a biopsy to see if it was malignant. A couple of weeks went by, and the results showed that it was, in fact, cancer. Stage IV glioblastomas, fast growing tumors in the brain. Inoperable.

Spence was only 30 years old! He was perfectly healthy until he showed only two symptoms--the first was phantosmia (smelling things that aren't there). He mentioned it casually to his parents because it was an odd occurrence, but he wasn't alarmed. Shortly after that, he had an epileptic seizure. Coincidentally, Joe was there with him in Portland when it happened and he went with Spence to the emergency room.

And that was that.

Spence decided to move home to be with his family and to undergo chemotherapy and radiation to hopefully prolong his life. When I heard the news, I was very torn. I wanted to reach out to him, but I didn't want to look like I was just doing it because he had cancer. So, I had to choose:

Jerk #1: Do I reach out after all these years and tell him I'd like to be part of his life again, help however I could, or just generally be a friend? It would be obvious to him that I was doing it because he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. "Oh, I have cancer and NOW you want to be my friend again? Thanks, that's so nice of you."

Jerk #2: Do I just ignore it and not reach out, so that I am not one of "those" people who shows up when something bad happens?

I could be a jerk for reaching out to him in this horrible situation, or I could be a jerk for NOT reaching out to him in this horrible situation.

At the end of the day, regardless of what he would think, I decided that if I was going to be a jerk, I wanted to be the one who reached out. I would tell him that I care, that I'm sorry we haven't kept in touch all these years, and I know the timing is very shady, but it's what prompted me to reconnect. If he wanted nothing to do with me, I would totally understand and respect that.

But Spence was so kind! He talked to me like we've been old pals for years and didn't show any negative feelings about the timing of my message. It was November, so I immediately started planning the annual get-together at my house for Christmas, and I was sure to deliberately invite Spence. (To be honest, I'd read up on glioblastomas and I thought that 2017 may be his last Christmas.)

Spence came, and so did Mike, Nathan, Chris, Lance, and Sarah. Since Spence and I shared a love of Portland, we chatted about that. It felt like getting to know him for the first time. And I'm so glad that I did.

Below... Guys, left to right: Mike, Spence, Lance, Nathan, and Chris; in front is me, of course, and Sarah.

That New Year's Eve, Spence had a party at his mom's house. Sarah was in town from Phoenix and a few of the other "neighborhood kids" were there. I also met some of the kids that were Spencer's age and had lived in our neighborhood (I didn't know them because they were so much younger than I was). Hearing their names, I knew the families--like I said, everybody knows everybody. It was cool to get to hear about our neighborhood from another perspective.

Spence did chemotherapy and radiation, which seemed to be working well to keep him from going downhill. The tumors seemed to stop growing so quickly, and before I knew it, it was Christmastime again. And we were blessed to have another neighborhood get together with Spence. Lance, Nathan, Sarah, Shannon, and Mike also came. Here is my favorite picture from that night. That's Spence lying across our laps. (Shannon, me, Mike, Lance, and Nathan sitting on the couch)

This year, Spence's health took a turn for the worse. He started having more and more seizures. Eventually, the doctors said there was nothing more they could do to prevent the growth of the tumors. Spence chose to go home in hospice care to keep him comfortable while the cancer progressed.

I knew I wanted to go see him at least one more time. When my friend Sarah (a different Sarah) died from melanoma in 2014, I didn't go see her once the cancer had really taken its toll. I visited her in the hospital when she was still in fairly good health with hopes of recovery. She even mentioned wanting to try to go for a run with me when she was better.

I don't remember how much longer it was before she passed away, but I do regret not going to see her one more time. And I didn't want to regret not going to see Spence. I also wasn't sure if he was feeling lonely, bored, or wanted visitors. I asked several times, and each time he told me that yeah, someday would be good; but from what Lance and his mom said, it sounded like he wasn't up for visitors for a while.

And then one evening in late July, I got a random text from Spence, inviting me to go visit him. I went that Sunday with my mom, and I brought him a couple of gifts--just a Red Wings mug and some cozy socks. It was so hard to think of what to chat about. His mind was foggy, so I just tried to make small talk. Mostly, I chatted with his parents (who are seriously two of the most fantastic people on this planet).

Later that day, I looked for some old home videos of the neighborhood kids that would make Spence smile. We texted for a little while, and I felt happy about it. He seemed to be doing good.

That night, Spence had multiple seizures and had to be heavily medicated to stop them. Over the next six weeks or so after I saw him, he was in and out of it, sleeping most of the time. The texts that we'd shared (we mostly talked about our favorite junk foods! haha) were the last contact I had with him. I asked Lance last week how Spence was doing, and he said that he was pretty much the same, which was all they could hope for at that time.

I went grocery shopping on Friday and I bought the ingredients to make some lemon lentil soup to take to them (Noah has an appointment on Wednesday just around the corner from their house, and I figured I'd stop by and bring them the soup).

And then this morning, my mom called me to say that Wendy called her and said Spence had passed away in his sleep at around 8:00 this morning.

I knew it was coming--for 22 months--and Spence and I weren't very close friends. Still, I cried. I cried for his mom, because the literal worst thing in the world would be to lose a child. I cried because Spence was so young and hadn't experienced so many things that healthy people experience as they age. And I cried because of how dumb it was that I didn't get in touch with him a decade ago. Or at least called him when I was in Portland.

But I am grateful that I chose to be Jerk #1. I'm not sure how I'd feel right now if I'd made the other choice, but I'm sure I wouldn't feel good about it.

Continue Reading...

What makes us follow through with our goals? (and 10 of my goals for fall)

(The bracelet was given to me by a reader several years ago--I love it!)

On this post, I am going to list some goals for fall 2019.

I'm sure you're rolling your eyes just as hard as I am, regarding the idea of my writing goals for fall when I haven't really met many of goals I've set in the past couple of years, haha. However, even though I am not great at following through with my goals, I usually end up having one or two of them "stick"--which is better than nothing.

Quitting drinking alcohol, for example...

That was one of my New Year's Resolutions (cliché of all clichés) this year. My goal was to give up alcohol for a year starting on January 1st, 2019. I had my last drink just before midnight on December 31st, 2018.

I cannot tell you how many times I said I was going to quit drinking over the years--for a week, a month, a year, forever--it was always one of those things that I said I'd try and then I'd give up shortly after. For some reason, however, this time it stuck. It's been 264 days, and I have no doubt that I'll make it to December 31st. It's NOT easy, but with the streak I have going, I really don't want to mess it up now.

Another example is weight loss...

I have almost made umpteen attempts to lose weight in my life before I was *finally* able to drop 125 pounds between August 2009 and November 2010. I made weight loss goals more times than you can count, and they never stuck. Until one time, it did! That day, August 19, 2009, I had no idea that it would be the last day that I would weight 253 pounds. I had tried so many times and quit that I just expected it to be another tally mark of failed attempts.

Here is the 125-pound difference way back in 2010 (look how young I looked!):

In June 2017, I prepared a budget to pay off my family's credit card debt. It felt like the trillionth time I had written a budget. I don't know if I ever even got through a single month without giving up. Yet, 14 months after making that get-out-of-debt goal in 2017, I made my final credit card payment. It's been over a year, and we are still debt-free.

Running is yet another example of goals that sometimes sticks but sometimes fails...

I attempted the Couch to 5K plan several times and gave up on it. I thought being a runner sounded so exciting, and I wanted to be one; but I didn't want to put in the work. It was too hard! However, in 2011, I made (yet another) goal to run a 5K. Since Couch to 5K was too hard, I tried my own way that I liked better. And after just a couple of months, I was running over three miles at a time. It'd stuck--I actually followed through and became a runner.

There are SO MANY examples of goals or short challenges that I've made and then not followed through on: giving up sugar, eating vegan, going to bed at a certain time every day, eating only whole foods, read a particular number of books, etc.

So what is it that makes us follow through with our goals sometimes and not others? I can theoretically set the same goal 100 times and only make it work ONCE. What was different about that one time? I think it has a lot of variables: timing, mindset, support from others, mental health, external stressors, physical heath, motivation, determination, sacrifices, money, and about a thousand others. If those stars (variables) align just right, the new habit may stick. Otherwise, it may not be the in the cards that time; so we try again later.

I'm sure I can't be the only one who sets goals and only manages to follow through once in a while; I'm just the one who writes about it online and then has to admit when I quit ;)

Anyway, the whole point of this is that just because I've failed at (certainly the majority) of the goals I've set doesn't keep me from wanting to set goals for all sorts of occasions: the new year, the first of the month, my birthday, summer... hell, even just a random MONDAY.

Even if I don't reach 90% of the goals I make for myself, that still means that I accomplish 10% of them. And 10% of them is certainly better than none. Or just giving up hope altogether.

I think the reason I like goal setting so much is that it fills me with hope. Having hope is a reason to live, and without it, it's easy to give up on everything. So, I continue to set goals (whether I publicize them or not) and I have hope that I will accomplish them. I might do so, but if not, then I'll probably just try again.

I wrote recently about my summer goals and the results--how well I did working on those. (Spoiler, if you missed it: Not very well. But not a total failure, either!)

So, with tomorrow being the first day of fall, my very FAVORITE season here in Michigan, I'm going to set some fresh new goals. Fall starts on September 23rd and ends on December 22nd. That's three months. I think three months is such a great amount of time to make some changes and create new habits. So, I'd like to focus on forming some new habits.

I'll write them here and do my best. Then, at the end of the season, we'll check to see if any of them actually stuck ;)

Goals for Fall 2019:

1) Get my weight down under 145. That's roughly 20 pounds, which is do-able for three months' time. I will do this with portion control and an eating schedule (8:00, 12:00, 4:00, and 8:00, like I used to). If I start to see some progress, I'd like to start doing Wednesday Weigh-Ins again.

2) Get back in the nightly routine with the family to go for a walk in the evenings, then watch a show and have a bedtime snack together. I loved this routine!

3) Drink 64 ounces of water a day. Period. Ice does not count.

4) Run for 3 miles every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. I will do heart rate (MAF) training because I enjoy it more.

5) Read 15 minutes every day.

6) Take a multivitamin.

7) Write in my journal and read a chapter of the Bible before bed (I've been doing this for several weeks now and I want to continue)

8) Cook dinner at least six nights a week (it doesn't have to be anything fancy--even just spaghetti with jarred marinara counts).

9) This is kind of generic, but I'd like to make decisions that are best for me: both mentally and physically. It's hard to give examples of this now, but I'll try and write things down throughout the next few months to specify what I mean by it.

10) Write a blog post four times a week. Ideally, I will form this into a schedule, but I will have to work on figuring out what days are best. For now, I'm just going to aim for four days a week.

(If you don't already subscribe, you can get notifications of new blog posts sent to your email inbox--that way you don't have to keep checking for new posts. You can subscribe by typing your email address in the little green box on the right sidebar of my blog. Or--I think this link might work. Just click where it says "Get Runs for Cookies delivered by email". Don't worry, I don't send out newsletters or anything. You literally will just get a notification of a new post.)

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And there they are. Nothing new--I think I've attempted these habits about six trillion times since I started Runs for Cookies! But maybe this will be the time that sticks... you never know ;)

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How to Breathe While Running (Nerd Alert!)

One of the girls on my cross country team didn't have a very good race on Tuesday. I thought she did great, but she refused to talk to me after the race, so I wasn't sure what the problem was. Her mom later told me that she was upset because she said she had a cramp in her side during the race. Her mom said that she thinks it may have to do with her breathing, and asked if she should be breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth.

I haven't done an informative post on my blog about running in a long time, so I thought it'd be fun to write about this! (I may have written about it before, but if I did, it was a long time ago; so here it is again).

Breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth is actually a very common misconception (for running, anyway--I think there are reasons to use it in other situations). There is a super nerdy explanation for it (seriously--breathing, something that is literally as old as time, has a "right way" and a--well, let's call it an "inefficient" way when running (I don't want to call it wrong, but it's definitely not the best way). I'll write more about the nose vs mouth part at the bottom of the post.

In 2014, I was invited to the Runner's World Headquarters in Pennsylvania (along with several other running bloggers). We had a weekend of seminars all about running and I met some of the coolest people known to the sport. I was so geeked out! It was fantastic, and I am so grateful I had the opportunity to learn everything I did.

Anyway, one of the seminars was given by Budd Coates. If you're not familiar, he is pretty much one of the most amazing runners in the sport. I'd never heard of him at the time, but I discovered that I was learning from a major running LEGEND... all about how to breathe while running.

First, a short bio: Budd's marathon personal record is 2:13:02. That's not a "half" marathon--I'm talking a full 26.2 miles. He ran TWENTY SIX POINT TWO miles in 2 hours and 13 minutes. Insane!

Also, he has run a sub-3:00 marathon in each of FIVE decades. Imagine that... every 10 years older and running sub-3:00? For five decades? Unbelievable.

Oh, and not to mention that he qualified for the U.S. Olympic trials in the marathon not once... but FOUR times. No biggie!

So, here is what I learned about How to Breathe While Running. Who better to learn from than Budd Coates?

When it comes to injuries, most runners will have problems with just one side, whether it's a stress fracture or runner's knee or hip flexor, etc. The possible reason for this is that we may be exhaling exclusively on that side. (I discovered that I was a 2:2 runner--meaning that I would inhale for two counts and then exhale for two counts. You'll see below why that's a problem.)

There was a study done by some very smart doctors at the University of Utah who discovered that the most stress to your body occurs when you begin to exhale. This is because when you exhale, your diaphragm relaxes, making your core (abdominal muscles) less stable. The impact of your foot strike (equal to 2-3 times your body weight) plus less stability in your core is basically a recipe for injury.

So, when you are exhaling on the same foot (left or right) for every breath while running, you are putting significantly more stress on that side of your body.

And that is how Budd came up with the brilliant idea of rhythmic breathing. He wondered if he could develop a rhythm that would allow him to exhale on each foot alternately throughout the whole run. It worked perfectly for him--no injuries and running his fastest marathon times.

The rhythmic breathing is done by an odd/even pattern to alternate the foot that absorbs impact on the exhale. You also must make sure you're using your diaphragm to take deep breaths and maximize oxygen intake rather than short shallow breaths.

To do that, you need to make sure that when you inhale, your diaphragm engages and moves downward, which makes your chest puff out a little (because there is more room for air in your lungs). Because it's impossible to run (or even live, duh) without oxygen, more = better when you're challenging your cardio system during a run.

Rhythmic breathing works like this:

Inhale for an odd number of steps and then exhale for an even number (one less than the odd number). For most runners, this is a 3:2 ratio (inhale for three steps, exhale for two steps) because we do most of our running at an easy pace--or at least we should be! (Read this post about the easy run. It totally changed my running for the better when I finally practiced what I preached.)

When you spend more time inhaling than exhaling, you're minimizing the amount of time exhaling (where your body absorbs the most stress). That way, you are getting the most oxygen out of the least amount of stress.

So, for a 3:2 ratio, inhale for three counts and then exhale for two counts. I always count it in my head like, "1-2-3-1-2"... but you can do whatever you'd like. "In-two-three-out-two". I would practice it while sitting or lying down before trying it during running. But I found that when I did it while running, it felt very natural. I had to concentrate on it for a few runs, but once I got the hang of it, I do it all the time now. I don't have to think about it--it just comes naturally.

Now, when you are running faster, your breathing is going to get faster. So, you can change the ratio to 2:1... inhale for two counts (steps) and exhale for 1 count. When I do my super slow runs to keep my heart rate low, I even do a ratio of 4:3 (inhale for four, exhale for three). It takes some experimenting to find out what works best for you; but like I said, most runners will use a 3:2 ratio.

There is another rhythm that is slightly more complicated, but I'll throw it out here just in case you want to try it. This is for very hard work (sprinting to the finish line, etc). The rhythm is 2-1-1-1. You would inhale for two steps, exhale for one, inhale for one, exhale for one. And repeat. I haven't even tried that, but it was one of the rhythms that Budd suggested.

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And to answer the question about breathing through your mouth or nose? The best answer is both! We will maximize our oxygen intake by inhaling and exhaling through both mouth and nose. But if you have to choose one or the other, the mouth is the way to go. You can experiment with this to feel the difference:

1) Close your mouth and keep it closed. Then breathe in through your nose. Notice that you aren't getting very much air? (While holding still or sleeping, it's comfortable; but when running, it feels like you're suffocating.)

2) Pinch your nose shut and then breathe through just your mouth. Much easier than breathing through your nose, but I think it feels like my nose is stuffy or something.

3) Now, relax your mouth in an open position, and breathe regularly. You'll probably notice that you breathe in and out through both your nose and mouth most of the time anyway without even thinking about it! But you'll definitely notice that you get the most air this way.

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Also, is this not the coolest race shirt?! I did a half-marathon for cystic fibrosis, and this was the race shirt we were given. It's my favorite race shirt I've ever gotten!

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