Runs for Cookies

February 04, 2018

Weekly Wrap-Up: Week 3 of Half-Marathon Training

Three weeks down, 10 more to go!

This week's schedule:

Tuesday - Speed work (intervals)
Wednesday - 3 mile easy run
Friday - 3 mile easy run
Sunday - 6 mile long run

Tuesday - Intervals

10 minute warm-up jog
6 x (1 min hard; 2 min walk)
5 minute cool down jog

I was kind of dreading doing this, because the first workout I did for this training schedule was this exact same workout, except I just did five intervals instead of six. It was really tough when I did it a couple of weeks ago, so I was hoping it would be better on Tuesday. Thankfully, it was.

I did the warm-up jog at 5.0 mph (12:00/mile). Then I did my hard intervals at 7.6 mph (a 7:54/mile pace). Walked at 3.0 mph (20:00/mile). I think I probably should have done 7.8 mph, or maybe even 8.0, because my heart rate didn't get very high like I would have expected. That could be because the intervals were so short, though. Next time I do intervals, I'll be doing 2 minutes at a time, so I'll see if I can do 7.6 again.

It's kind of interesting that my hard intervals were 7.6 mph--when I ran my goal 10K in 2016, I ran that same speed (7:54/mi) for the whole 10K! It's so hard to imagine that there was a time when that was my race pace. It seems SO far off now. But I worked super hard to get to that point, and right now, I'm a beginner again. Being a beginner is fun! I'm actually seeing the progress from run to run.

Wednesday - 3 miles easy

I was able to run at 5.1 mph for a little bit while keeping my heart rate low, but then I dropped it back down to 5.0 once my heart rate increased. I'm still not strictly following heart rate training, but I've been paying more attention to it and adjusting my pace a little as needed.

My hamstrings were SUPER tight the first couple of weeks I was running, and I decided to start stretching after my runs. It's made a huge difference! The first day, I tried to bend over and touch my toes, and I was probably six inches away. After a little stretching, I was able to bend over and actually touch my toes.

I was really sore for a few days after I started stretching, but now it feels really good to do it after my runs. I usually do it on the treadmill as I cool off; and the treadmill is still warm from my run, so I love to sit down on the belt as I start to feel cold.

Friday - 3 miles easy

This was a pretty plain, boring run. I just set the treadmill at 5.0 mph (12:00/mi) and watched The Shield while I ran. My heart rate stayed in the 140's, which I was happy with.

I forgot to take a picture--I've been trying to take a photo after each run.

Sunday - 6 miles long

I was really dreading this one, because I had hoped to do it outside. We got a ton of snow today, though, and it was the heavy, wet snow that I didn't even want to attempt to run in.

I've also realized that running so slowly takes up a lot of time. I know it seems obvious--slower equals longer. But I had gotten so used to using 10:00/mi as a rough estimate of time spent running (6 mile run will take about 60 minutes, 4 mile run about 40, etc. Simple math.)

So, when I think about my runs, I still tend to think that way. "Oh, I have a 3 mile run today, so I have to get on the treadmill by this time so that I'm ready to leave by that time." But to plan for today's 6 miler, it wasn't a 60 minute guesstimate. It was 12:00 x 6 miles... 72 minutes. That's a big difference! So, I need to get used to planning for a longer running time.

I felt really good during the whole run, so I was grateful for that. I covered the treadmill screen with a towel so that I wouldn't have to watch the mileage/time slowly ticking by.

I did notice that when I changed speeds (I moved between 5.0 and 5.5 several times), my Garmin didn't register the change by more than a few seconds per mile. I was trying to figure out why that was, and after some experimenting, I saw that when I would move my arm really fast, my Garmin showed I was running a 6:00-something pace, and then when I moved it very slow or held it very still, it showed a 20:00-something pace.

So, the Garmin is definitely not accurate on the treadmill. If I want the Garmin to be accurate, I'll have to use the foot pod again (which isn't calibrated). As my runs get longer, I will probably want to do this, because that little indiscretion will make a bigger and bigger difference.

Anyway, I'm psyched to be done with three weeks of training! I haven't missed any workouts, and I feel really good about that. On to week four...

February 02, 2018

Flashback Friday: The Day I Hit 60 Pounds Lost

As I mentioned last week, I'd like to start doing a "Flashback Friday"--where I post an old (probably embarrassing) journal entry. I cringe when I look through my old journaling, because the writing was terrible and I said things that I completely disagree with now; but it is what it is, and it's kind of interesting to see what I was thinking/feeling way back when.

I will not edit any of these journals, as tempting as it may be. I'm not posting them in any specific order, either. I just pick a random place in my journal and read a few posts before deciding what to share. (And one day, maybe I'll be cringing at my current blog posts! haha)

This post was kind of fun to come across... it was the day I reached 60 pounds lost! Interestingly, it was on February 3, 2010--so it'll be 8 years ago tomorrow. Where has the time gone?!

(This was the quilt I made out of all of my too-big-for-me jeans when I was losing weight)

February 3, 2010

Finally... the big 60-pounds mark!!

I was SO SURE that I would only lose about 1/2 pound this week, simply because I lost 3 last week, 3 the week before, and 2 the week before that. I'm overdue for a "bad" week :) My average weight loss to date is 2.56 pounds per week... pretty good, right?

But anyway, I'm psyched about it. I'm thisclose to being in the 180's, can you believe it?! My lowest post-pregnancy weight was 184, so getting to 183 will be a huge milestone for me. Then I'll finally feel like it's all downhill from there. Right now, I'm still losing what I gained back a couple years ago.

I finished my second Weight Watchers 3-month food journal. (Each 3-month journal is 12 weeks). I remember thinking how it'd be impossible to actually finish ONE journal without having a page with "BINGE" written across it in bold letters, followed by lots of blank pages because I "gave up" again.

Now I have TWO complete journals without a single binge. I've gone 24 weeks without a single gain. This has become sheer habit for me now, and the urges to binge are few and far between. I recognize the mindset now, and I take care of it before it turns into a binge.

Accomplishments this week: I went on a 3-day vacation with my family and managed to stay on track. I counted points the whole time, brought food to the hotel to eat instead of going out to eat, and for the first time, made my vacation about the actual activities rather than food. I used to look forward to vacation because of the food and dining out all the time... seriously. That's disgusting.

Goals for next week: I want to start writing daily entries in my OD again... so my goals is do write at least 5 daily entries with food journals. I have a few new recipes to post too, so maybe I'll get around to doing that.

Starting weight: 253
Last weeks weight: 193.5
This weeks weight: 191.5
This weeks loss: 2 pounds
Total weight lost: 61.5 pounds
Total percentage of weight lost: 24.3%

I love that I was so excited to get to the 180's. As I'm at around 142 right now, it makes me not feel so bad for being up 10 pounds over the last couple of months. (My appetite is finally decreasing to what it was a few months ago, though, and I think it's because I completely quit drinking.)

I remember how exciting it was to weigh in every Wednesday, because I knew I had followed my plan all week and that I was getting closer and closer to an ideal weight. My original goal weight was 185. I never dreamed I'd one day be in the 140's, 130's, and certainly not the 120's.

Looking back at posts like these is actually really nice--I am so hard on myself sometimes, and seeing how happy I was for these milestones makes me stop and realize just how far I've come. I haven't weighed in the 190's in EIGHT YEARS now. I never would have guessed that when I started losing weight, I'd get to a "normal" BMI or maintain the majority of my weight loss for a year, let alone eight years!

I bought this shirt to wear as a joke for Jerry, because I despise football--but I'd promised him that I would learn the rules of football one time, and I'd read a couple of books about it ("Football for Dummies" kinds of books). Then, I was ready with this shirt for Super Bowl Sunday. Even after learning the rules, I hate it! The curse of being born on Super Bowl Sunday I guess ;)

I'm looking forward to this Sunday because of This Is Us, though!!! Can't wait.

February 01, 2018

January Budget Update

I really should have been updating on our get-out-of-debt progress each month, but it doesn't really seem like there is much to say--everything is going very well! So, this will likely be a short post (although, I say that all the time and it ends up being way too long--so we'll see.)

To recap in a nutshell, back in June 2017, we had about $14,500 in credit card debt. The story of how that came to be is on this post: Budgeting to Pay Off Debt (on a Varied Income).

Since our income varies SO much week to week and even month to month, budgeting has always been difficult for us. Whenever we got a paycheck, we just spent it wherever it was needed at the moment. It always felt like we were broke--but now that we've been budgeting for eight months, I see that we have quite a bit of extra money we never knew we had.

So, we started a "zero-sum" budget, something I read about when I was trying to find a good budgeting solution for us (such a varied income). And it has worked wonders. Truly. (I went into a lot more detail on this post: Zero Sum Budgeting)

After writing up the budget, I couldn't believe that it actually works! My stress level dropped immediately, because we were actually ahead on our bills for the first time in our lives. I didn't have to worry about paying bills when when they came in, because the money was in our account already.

I had my own spending money (we call it "allowance", even though that sounds juvenile), so I could buy whatever I wanted and not feel guilty for it. Jerry and the kids found it very easy to stick to as well (thanks to allowance).

In the post I linked to above, Zero Sum Budgeting, I explained exactly how it works, but basically, we have a "bare bones" budget each month that will cover all of our bills, food, gas, medical co-pays, and allowances. Whatever we earn on top of that bare bones budget gets paid toward our credit card debt.

There are always things that come up where we need to spend extra (this month was Joey's vet bill--updating all of his vaccines--$188!; also, Eli's birthday was this month, so we spent some extra for that).

Anyway, after all was said and done, I was thrilled to pay over $1000 this month onto the card:

This brings our debt down to $3,150.89... almost under the $3,000 mark!

When we started this budget in June, I was super overwhelmed looking at $14,500 of debt. I thought there was no possible way we could pay it off with the amount of money we make (we later realized that we have more than we thought; we just didn't realize it because we never saw exactly where it was going).

I have to say, a HUGE part of sticking to this budget is that we each get our own allowance. This way, the kids pay for their own things and I don't get suckered into buying them stuff whenever they ask. And it keeps control over how much Jerry and I spend on things we don't really "need".

I got an email recently asking me to write more specifically about our allowances--how much we get, what we use it for, etc. So, here goes...

Jerry and I each get $100 per month. And the kids each get $40 per month. We budget everything by the month rather than the week, so on the first of each month, I withdraw $280 for allowance (this money comes from our "bare bones" budget). This amount may seem like a lot or it may seem like a little, depending on what is deemed necessary to people.

As for the kids, they have to use their allowance for any non-necessity they want. We obviously pay for their food, clothes they need, field trips or other school-related stuff, gifts for other kids' birthday parties, etc. I don't think our kids should have to use their allowances on that stuff.

But when Noah goes to the movies with his friends, for example, he has to use his own money. After his first time, he came home a little shocked at just how expensive movie theater popcorn is, haha. He had no idea the value of a dollar before this; but now that he has to use his own money for things, he is much choosier about what he really wants.

The kids use their allowances on anything that Jerry and I don't deem necessary. And $40 seems to be a good amount for kids their age. Usually, they don't spend it all, and it's nice that they have been saving up a little. They have a little extra set aside for when we go to Boston next month.

As for Jerry and me, our allowance goes toward anything we want that doesn't fit into the budget. When it comes to food/drink items, if it's something that only one of us eats/drinks, then we have to use our allowances for it. Jerry's craft beer, for example, comes from his allowance rather than our grocery budget, because he is the only one that drinks it. And likewise, I buy tea with mine, and the fruit snacks I was eating so much of all year (I just recently got out of that phase).

We have joint bank accounts, and have always shared our money. It seemed so odd, then, when we started doing allowances, because we each have our own spending money. So, if we decide to go out to dinner (a rarity), one of us typically "treats" the other to dinner (usually, I treat--Jerry has always let money burn a hole in his pocket until it's gone, haha).

Other than food items, we use our allowances for clothes, travel (when we went to Portland, for example, we used our own allowances for spending money), going out with friends, and other things like that. Again, I think $100 is a good amount for what we use it for. We don't feel deprived of things we really enjoy, but we definitely think carefully about what we choose to spend our money on.

It has helped us so much in sticking to the budget! And by sticking with our budget, we've paid off well over $11,000 in eight months. I'm super excited to make the final payment--hopefully in March, if all goes well, but likely in April. I can't remember what it feels like to not have any debt ;)

January 30, 2018

RECIPE: Loaded Baked Potato Soup

I've been making this soup for years when I don't have a clue what to make for dinner, and everyone is starving. I always have a bag of diced potatoes in the freezer, and we have gotten creative with toppings for this--from the usual things like bacon and chives to things like diced ham, cheddar cheese, and broccoli. This recipe is for the potato soup base, and then you can add what you like to it.

Click here for the printer-friendly PDF

Loaded Baked Potato Soup

Ingredients:

2 tsp. olive oil
1 (32 oz) bag frozen diced potatoes
4 cups of chicken broth
1 onion, chopped
1/2 cup of milk
8 oz of sour cream
Toppings: shredded cheese, bacon, chives, green onion, etc.

Directions:

Heat soup pot over medium heat and add oil. Add the onion and cook until onion is soft.

Meanwhile, put the potatoes in a colander and run under hot water to thaw a little.

When onions are soft (not brown) add the chicken broth and bring to a boil. Add potatoes and return to a boil. Reduce heat to medium low, and simmer until potatoes are soft. Add the milk and let it heat through on medium heat (don’t boil the milk, to avoid curdling it).

Sometimes I puree the soup with a stick blender at this point, but you don't have to—it just depends on the texture you’d like.

Stir in the sour cream and warm through on medium-low heat (again, don’t boil it).

Ladle into bowls and add your toppings.

Notes:

After adding milk or sour cream, just make sure you don't boil the soup--boiling it will make it curdle.

You can use a stick blender to make it completely smooth, or just leave it with small chunks of potatoes.

I've used skim milk and fat free sour cream in this, but I much prefer the high fat stuff! Besides, if it's richer, you'll be satisfied with less of it anyway ;)

Wait until the end to salt it, because I find that the broth adds enough salt. And then adding bacon and cheese on top of that will make it even saltier.

January 29, 2018

How Running Helps My Mental Health

As if I haven't said it enough over the last nine months or so, I have bipolar disorder. I'm 36, but I've had it as long as I can remember (I was misdiagnosed with depression as a kid). Through the years, my moods have always been either very "up" (hypomanic) or very "down" (depressed). I didn't even know that there was a such thing as feeling anything other than those two moods.

Sometimes the moods were mild, but sometimes they were pretty severe. I noticed that as I've gotten older, the two extremes have been more and more pronounced. And until this year, when I started the correct medication, I had a very hard time dealing with the shifts, which can last for months at a time.

I've started to notice some parallels with my moods. One of them is my weight--when I'm depressed, my weight goes up; and when I'm hypomanic, my weight goes down. The most extreme was from fall 2015 to spring 2016, where I got down to my lowest weight (121 pounds) during hypomania; and then in the few months after that, I shot up to 160 pounds during a long depressive episode.

Something else that has occurred to me recently is the effect that running has on my moods. This past year has been fantastic in that I'm no longer depressed (I've had a few short, mild episodes, but nothing like before). I took ten months off of running, because I needed the break--and the break was great.

Until it wasn't. I started feeling a little lazy and as my body got softer from not running, my body image started to go south. And my mood wasn't as good as it had been in the beginning of my break. So, I decided to start running again.

With each run, I feel genuinely proud of myself. It doesn't matter what my pace is or what my distance is, I just feel proud for doing it.

My goal is to run a half-marathon in April, and I'm following my own 13-week training plan. I'm two weeks in, and it has made a huge difference in my mood.

I haven't skipped any runs, although it was tempting for the first few days. It's been an adjustment on my routine, that's for sure. And even though I love all of the benefits of running, I don't necessarily love the physical act of running.

However, when I started heart rate training while preparing for my 10K, I really did start to enjoy running more. I learned the importance of the easy run, and I started doing my easy runs REALLY easy. Running at a slow pace is actually very enjoyable! (It made my weight drop very easily, too.)

Once I let go of the mentality that I had to push myself during all of my runs, I found the joy in it. As I'm getting readjusted to running regularly, this is something I'm working on again--slow and easy!

Having run for about 8 years (minus the last year when I took a hiatus), when I go more than two days without running, my mood starts to get worse. Nothing extreme, but I suddenly start lacking the motivation to do anything. I feel lazy and disappointed that I didn't just take 30 minutes to keep my mood elevated for a couple more days. And worse, I dread the next run terribly, even if I had been looking forward to it after a great previous run.

When my eating habits aren't so good, or my weight is up, going for a run always makes me feel like I can turn things around--that it's never too late. I feel like if I'm eating badly, AND I'm skipping runs, I'm just turning back into the 253-pound Katie that didn't eat well or exercise. That thought gives me horrible anxiety.

So, in that sense, running also relieves anxiety. I know that even if I have other things going on that make me feel uneasy and anxious, at least I did something right by going for a run. It makes me feel like I accomplished something, so it's one less thing to feel bad about when I'm beating myself up.

Goal setting is always something that has helped me mentally, too. And running is perfect for setting goals! When I was a beginner, I just wanted to be able to increase my distance. I started at just under a tenth of a mile, and then worked my way up with a goal of being able to run 5K (3.1 miles).

This was my first "sweaty selfie"

Next, I wanted to run a mile under 13 minutes. Then, under 12 minutes. And so on. I increased my distance more and more until I ran a full marathon (26.2 miles). Then I worked on speed, and got faster and faster until I ran my fastest mile at 7:31.

There are so many goals that I could set. And since my brain thrives on goal setting/achieving, running has played a huge part in fulfilling that need. Those goals can change based on where my current physical fitness level is, too.

When I was at my peak shape in 2016 and had finished my goal 10K at 49:03, I could have then chosen a more difficult goal--say, a 47-minute 10K. But I was burnt out, and didn't want to set another lofty goal.

Now, I'm out of shape after having not run in so long, so my goals are tailored to my current level of fitness. My easy pace is 12:00+ per mile to keep my heart rate where it needs to be! I'd like to build up my distance again, no matter how slow, so that I can run a half-marathon.

A good friend of mine had gotten super fast a couple of years ago; and now, she is not in the same tip-top shape as she was at her peak (even elite runners don't stay in peak shape year-round). She has been beating herself up about it every time she goes for a run, and she says she feels like she's a failure.

I used to think like that, too. When I saw my speed getting slower and slower, I was ashamed and embarrassed and I felt like I had failed. At what? Who knows. But I did learn that beating myself up about it didn't make me any faster, nor did it make me feel any better. So, I took a long break from running, and now I'm starting over (almost) from scratch.

And this time, I am not the slightest bit embarrassed of my pace. I'm showing what happens when you go almost a year without running ;) I'm also showing just how hard it was for me to get in that 10K shape--I worked my ass off for that PR! I deserved it. And I'm super proud of that achievement.

But training like that was tough, and I didn't want to continue to train that hard forever. So, of course I'm not going to be in that kind of shape unless I'm training that way again.

It's interesting--if I went outside right now and magically ran a 49-minute 10K again, I wouldn't feel that great about it--because I didn't earn it. I haven't been training for it. The good feelings come from working hard to achieve a goal. Without the hard work, the achievement doesn't really feel like an achievement.

Overall, I'd say running gives me a sense of accomplishment that feeds my need for purpose. I want to feel like I'm constantly working at something to better myself, and nothing has done that for me quite like running has. The physical effects of running are great in that it keeps me in shape, helps maintain my weight loss, has lots of health benefits, etc.

But I'm starting to see that the mental benefits of running, along with my medication and therapy, are a great combination for treating my bipolar disorder:

Running helps with my depressive episodes because I feel like I got something done, even if it was just a short, easy run. And it gets me outside--or on the treadmill at the very least. It's a huge struggle to force myself to do it, but I have never regretted it.

Running helps with anxiety because I feel like I can turn around habits that may lead me back to obesity. It's also a distraction from the negative feelings that anxiety brings.

Running helps with my hypomania because it releases a lot of my excess energy. Most importantly, it calms my heightened senses that can be very irritating to my body--my senses all go into overdrive when I'm hypomanic, and it is so annoying that it almost makes me wish for depression again. Running makes me calmer, and soothes my nerves, at least temporarily.

Anyone else find mental benefits from exercise?

January 28, 2018

Weekly Wrap Up: Week 2 of Half Marathon Training

Well, I now have two weeks of training under my belt!

This week was much better than the first. Now that I'm getting back in the habit of running, I have this "no excuses" attitude, just like I used to have back in the good ol' running days. I enjoy running just four days a week instead of five or six, because with the exception of Tuesday, I know that I don't have to run the next day.

This week on the schedule:

Tuesday (speed work):
10 minutes easy
10 minutes at tempo pace (hard enough where I want to stop, but where I know I could keep going)
10 minutes easy

Wednesday: 3 miles easy

Friday: 2.5 miles easy

Sunday (long run): 5 miles easy

Tuesday - 10 min easy, 10 minutes tempo, 10 minutes easy

Treadmill run - This was the hardest run (which it should have been, because it's the only speed work I had). I decided to reduce the pace I was doing last week in order to make my easy running truly easy (and more enjoyable). So, my easy pace this week was at 5.0 on the treadmill (a 12:00/mi pace).

I have to say, it was so much nicer! I ran for 10 minutes at that pace and felt great. I wasn't sure what pace to do for my tempo, and I thought maybe 6.0. But when I increased the speed to 6.0, I felt like it might not be enough, so I bumped it up to 6.2.

I was definitely watching the clock for the full 10 minutes, because it was tough and I wanted that segment to be over. Finally, I dropped the speed back down to 5.0, and I desperately wanted to quit the workout at that point. But I continued, relieved that I didn't have to do another interval.

When I was at around 28:30 minutes in, I started to feel really nauseous. Like, "ohmygod, I hope I don't throw up right now" kind of nauseous. I didn't want to quit with just 90 seconds to go, so I struggled through it. The second I turned off the treadmill, I made a beeline to the bathroom and stood over the toilet on the verge of throwing up for probably about four minutes.

I never did throw up, and the nausea passed. Shows how out of shape I am! I've seen people on The Biggest Loser throw up from working out, but that's never happened to me before. Strangely, I felt satisfied after that workout. I felt like I worked hard!

Something to note (basically to myself) about the Garmin vs. treadmill: The timer on the treadmill is off. I believe the speed is correct, but the timer is set to match the distance + speed. My Garmin isn't calibrated to the treadmill, so, my stats are a little wonky. The Garmin showed that my 6.2 mph tempo mile was only a 10:42/mile. There is NO WAY that I was running 10:42. So, I'm not sure what to think. Basically, I just run until I hit my distance on both the Garmin and treadmill.

Wednesday - 3 miles easy

Treadmill run - This time, I set the treadmill at 5.0 mph and didn't touch it the whole time. I was curious what the Garmin would read. A speed of 5.0 mph is a pace of 12:00/mile. My Garmin read 12:02, 12:07, and then 12:13 for my three miles. Pretty close, but you would think that they'd all be the same.

I felt great during this run, though. My heart rate was 148, which is only a couple of beats per minute faster than ideal for an easy run.

This was just a screenshot from a video--I thought it was funnier than a typical selfie ;)

Friday - ~~2.5 miles easy~~ 5 miles easy

Outdoor run - Jerry was off work, and asked if I wanted to do our three mile run together outside. The weather was really nice, so I said sure. Once we got outside and started running, I said we should just do our long run--it was so nice outside and I thought it would be awesome to get it done on Friday instead of Sunday.

So, we just kept going. We circled all the neighborhoods, which is my usual five-mile route. I didn't even feel tired when we were done! We were both so happy to have gotten our long run done. And we knew Sunday was going to be a busy day, so it would be easier to fit in our 2.5 miler instead of 5 miler on Sunday.

Sunday - ~~5 miles easy~~ 2.5 miles easy

Outdoor run - Today was the first morning run I've done since I started running again. I've turned into an afternoon/evening runner; and today, it was really hard to get motivated to go out for a run in the morning. But, Jerry was off, and we decided to run outside together again.

It was colder than Friday, but it still felt amazing. I don't know that I'd ever done a 2.5 mile route before, so we just modified a three-miler in the hope that it was about 2.5. We did pretty good--we only had to go past our house for about a tenth of a mile at the end. And I found a penny on the ground just past our house, so it was worth it ;) (I still collect change when I run--between yesterday and today, I found five cents.)

It's so easy for me to speed up unintentionally while I'm talking during a run, and that happened a lot. I kept noticing that my breathing was getting harder, and then I would slow back down. In a couple more weeks, I'm might start utilizing my heart rate monitor alarm, so that I'm reminded to keep my heart rate low.

I can't believe I've done eight runs of my training so far. My five-miler this week was the longest run I've done since February 5th of last year! Each new long run will feel like a fresh new milestone (literally), and I'm excited about that.

I really enjoy running with Jerry, and I hope that we can at least continue to do our long runs together. Preferably outside. Sometimes it will be hard because of his work schedule, but we may be able to switch up days here and there to make it work. Training with a partner is so much more enjoyable!

I have a cute story about Eli. Eli is THE most compassionate, sweet, caring kid I've ever met. He's an anomaly, and I'm not just saying that because he's my kid.

My birthday was on Thursday, and when I woke up, Eli gave me this picture that he'd made for me. Sweet! But what made it even sweeter was the story behind it.

"Dear Mama: I hope you have a great birthday and I wanted you to know how much I love you and how much I appreciate the things you do for us!"

Whenever I tuck the boys into bed, I ask if they want their doors open or closed. Noah always says closed, Eli always says open. But on Wednesday, he said he wanted it closed. I thought it was odd, but I closed it. Then I went to my room for a while, probably 45 minutes or so. Then I went back to the boys rooms to turn off Eli's laser light thing (he likes to fall asleep with it on) and to open their doors.

So, I walked into Eli's room, turned off his light, then went back to my room and got ready for bed.

After Eli gave me the picture, he told me the story. He waited until I tucked him in and closed his door, and then he got up and turned on his desk light. He worked on making this picture for me for a long time. Then he heard me walking toward his bedroom, so he hurriedly shut off his light and dove into bed. When I walked in there, I had no idea!! Usually, I'm in tune with these things ;)

After I left his room, he snuck back out of bed and finished his drawing.

Later, I found a pile of about 15 papers where he'd drawn the heart part, but discarded it because it wasn't the way he wanted it. So he finally drew one that he liked. *sigh* He is so sweet.

Look who is getting SO so big!! I went to visit him today, because it had been a few weeks since I saw him last. Love this little man.

January 26, 2018

Flashback Friday: Old Journal Entry (May 4, 2001)

I started "blogging" in 2000, but back then, it wasn't called blogging. It was basically just online journaling. I wrote on a site called Open Diary, which no longer exists (although, I heard they were bringing it back? Not sure.).

Anyway, for years, readers of Runs for Cookies have been asking me to post my old blog/journal entries. I have always declined, because they are embarrassing! I cringe at my writing style, at the drama I imagined, at how important some things seemed back then and later seem so stupid.

However, I thought it might be fun to do a "Flashback Friday", where I post an old journal entry. I have entries from 2000 all the way to 2011 saved on a hard drive. Most are weight loss related, but there is a lot of more personal stuff in there, too. It may or may not be entertaining. If nothing else, you can poke fun at early-20's Katie ;)

Keep in mind that my thoughts and viewpoints on topics have changed quite a bit over the years--so if I wrote something offending, please don't take it personally. These entries are from up to 17 years ago! Also, I am going to keep it written as-is, including any terrible slang or grammatical errors (not editing these will kill me, but I want to stay true to the "flashback").

It's kind of funny... in reading through the posts, I can very clearly see hypomanic and depressive episodes. I had no idea what they were back then, but hindsight is 20/20, right?

I am also going to try to include a photo from that time period, even if it's irrelevant to the post. After the post, I'll write some comments to explain things. My posts were much shorter back then, so these Friday posts will be short, too, relative to what I choose to share that day.

Okay, here goes... this first post is from May 4, 2001...

May 4, 2001

I was asking Jerry 20 questions about boot camp when he went through basic training for the Army. He was telling me about the running, push-ups, and sit-ups, etc. I told him to try one day of it yesterday with me.

HAHAHA, thank God none of y'all were here to see me. We decided to run around the block at his house (about a mile). Well, I did about half of it and then I felt like I was going to die. I couldn't breathe. So I walked a little, then I started running again, then walked, then ran the rest of the way. At the most, I probably ran 3/4 of a mile. What a champion.

But I did outrun Jerry. He stopped after about half of it, and walked the rest of the way.

Today I woke up and practically FELL out of bed because my hips were so sore. MY GOD, I was not born to be a runner. I was going to try to run today, but I couldn't breathe because I hurt so bad!

But at least I exercised yesterday. After our run, and a long rest, we went bike riding. I love bike riding! It felt so good. I think I'll use that as one of my "main" exercises this summer instead of running like I'd hoped.

Notes:

Jerry spent five months in basic training right out of high school, but was medically discharged when he broke his ankle.

The "block" at his house was nowhere near a mile. Haha! His parents still live there, and I'm guessing it's probably a half-mile.

"I was not born to be a runner" Love this! It would be nine more years before I would run my first mile.

I don't remember loving bike riding. I wish I loved it now. It's definitely my second exercise of choice, though (after running).

My weight at the time was 178, if you're curious. I had recently lost about 30 pounds.

So, thoughts? Should I continue with the Flashback Fridays?

January 24, 2018

A Timeline of My Weight Loss (and Gain) (and Loss)...

As you all know by now, my weight fluctuates so much that it's nearly impossible to keep track of where I am in the moment. Even I get confused sometimes!

These pics are from 2009 (top left corner) at 253 pounds; and, moving clockwise, each 10 pound increment (finishing in the center at my goal weight of 133):

(I have a ton of weight loss comparison photos on my Photos page)

When people ask me how much weight I lost, or how long it took, or how I lost the weight, it's hard to give a concrete answer. With my weight fluctuating up to 30 pounds, I'm not sure how to answer some of those questions. (Here is a list of my Wednesday Weigh-ins. I try to update it at least once a month.)

I created the following "Weight Timeline" to at least keep track of it: my weight fluctuations and a few simple words of what was going on in my life at that time. My bipolar diagnosis really comes into play here--I have realized that I tend to lose weight when hypomanic, and gain weight when depressed. Now that my mood is more stable, I'm hoping to see those fluctuations go away or at least become minimal.

I'm going to start this timeline from the start of my weight loss in 2009. It would take forever to sort out everything before that! (Information about the app that I used to create these can be found at the bottom of this post)

So, here it is... the ever-lasting, honest, somewhat humiliating timeline of my weight...

2009

I started my weight loss journey at 253 pounds on August 19, 2009. I counted Weight Watchers' Points, doing the program on my own (meaning I didn't go to meetings or weigh in at the centers, or anything like that). I stayed binge-free and lost weight every single week for a full year. (The little dots along the blue lines are the actual weigh-ins. The line follows an average rather than the exact number.)

2010

Continued to lose weight. Struggled a little with binge eating in the fall. In November, I fell and severely broke my jaw. Had my jaws wired shut while they healed, and reached a low of 128.

2011

Trained to run my first half-marathon, gained weight in the process. I gained a LOT of weight on family vacation to Tennessee in April. I made a summer challenge for myself, and got my weight back down. Had a short depressive episode, gaining the weight back. Cut back on calories to get my weight back down, knowing I would have skin removal surgery in November.

2012

Started training to run my first marathon, and definitely ate too much. Another short depressive period, and then became hypomanic in fall. I followed the Weight Watchers Flex Plan diligently and dropped the weight rather quickly, reaching my goal weight on 12/12/12.

2013

The most stable year I've had--about a 10 pound range throughout the year. Did Hanson's Marathon Method to train for the Chicago Marathon, and I could pretty much eat whatever I wanted because I was running so much. I didn't count calories during training, and maintained my weight pretty well. Ran a PR in the Chicago Marathon, and was in fantastic shape. Became depressed after the race.

2014

Struggled with depression and my weight quite a bit. The anxiety I felt due to my blog and social media comments really got to me, and I developed several unhealthy habits to try to deal with it.

2015

Had a stress fracture from late 2014 until fall 2015. In the fall, I started counting calories and I became hypomanic. I started training hard to PR my 10K in April, and I felt unstoppable--on top of the world. Got back down to goal before the end of the year.

2016

Still hypomanic to start the year, I was training hard and counting my calories. I hit my all-time lowest (unofficial) adult weight of 121 in February. I ran a PR in the 5K, and then my goal race 10K. After the 10K, I fell into the most severe depression I've experienced. It got really bad in December 2016/January 2017. I didn't weigh in, and I didn't care about myself enough to try to lose the weight. My memory of the whole year is kind of fuzzy.

2017

Reached a point in my depression of sheer desperation. Was finally able to get in to see a psychiatrist (there was a nine-month waiting list!) who diagnosed me with bipolar. I started on the correct medication, and I felt a million times better. I went on a quest to do what makes me happy, and to discover my happiest life.

2018

It's only January, so there isn't much to say yet. Over the holidays, I fell out of a nice routine (routine is critical to managing my bipolar disorder) and I've been struggling for about six weeks. My weight has gone up by about 10 pounds, and I'm sure it's because I've been eating too much (and out of routine). I just started a challenge with a close friend today, so I am hoping that will help me to get back to the good habits I'd developed last year.

Here is the timeline of my entire journey--from August 19, 2009 to January 24, 2018.

2009 vs 2017

Happy Scale

The graphs in this post were created on the app called Happy Scale. It's only available on iOS right now (the developer says he is very sorry, and hopes to have it available for Android in the future). I wrote a brief review of this app a while ago, and I continue to use it to log my weigh-ins.

Several of the features that were available on the free version back then are now only available on the premium version ($4.99). Russ, the developer of the app, generously gave me some codes to give away on the blog, though! The code is good for the premium version of the Happy Scale app.

To enter a giveaway for one of four codes, please just leave a comment on this post before January 31, 2018 at 9:00 AM ET. I will randomly select four commenters as winners. I will post the winners that evening, and then the winners will have to email me and I'll send you the codes.

Man, the last eight years have been quite the journey... haha!

January 23, 2018

My Formula for a Quick Go-To Meal

Instead of posting a particular recipe today, I thought I'd change it up a little and post a method that I use for my go-to meal when I'm clueless of what to make and I'm starving.

This whole combination started when I made these amazing green beans years ago. I was fairly new to cooking, and it was then that I realized what a magical combination olive oil and garlic is. I learned that by gently sautéing garlic in olive oil, the olive oil picks up the flavor of the garlic and can coat anything you want.

This (while nothing new) opened a world of possibilities to me, hahaha. (several variations below)

So, the first recipe I created was Quinoa with Spinach and Feta Cheese. It was delicious! Then I decided to try swapping out each of the main ingredients, and developed more of a formula than a recipe. But here it is, as well as several combinations that I've made...

Click here for a printer-friendly PDF recipe

Grains and Garlic Go-To (for 1 Serving):

Ingredients:

1 serving of cooked pasta, rice, quinoa, barley, or any other grain you'd like

2 teaspoons of olive oil

2-3 cloves of garlic, minced (or sliced paper thin)

1/2 cup vegetables (fresh or frozen, whatever you want)

1 Tablespoon of cheese (usually parmesan works best)

Optional: Meat or other protein

Salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

Cook the grains according to package directions.

Prepare the vegetables--if you're using something that cooks very quickly, like spinach, you don't really have to prep it. If you're using broccoli, which takes longer to cook, then you may want to steam it in the microwave or toss it in with your grains while they're cooking. Frozen veggies can be microwaved for a minute to thaw and heat through; or, again, just throw them in the pot with your grains toward the end of cooking.

If you're using meat, prepare that as well. You can cook it in a small skillet, and then use the skillet to prepare the dish as written below.

In a small skillet, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the garlic, and cook very gently (be careful not to burn the garlic--turn the heat to low if necessary) until garlic is translucent, just a minute or two. Add the vegetables to the skillet, and gently toss them in the oil.

Add the cooked grains, salt and pepper to taste, and stir it all together. Top with cheese, or stir the cheese in until it melts.

Quinoa with Spinach and Feta