An odd customer service experience at Kroger

This title is not at all creative, but as speechless as I am about this story, that was best I could do! haha

Being Friday, I did my weekly grocery shopping this morning. Last night, I stayed up pretty late working on a menu for the week and writing my shopping list. One of the dinners I plan on making this week is Barbecue Chicken Pizza, so I listed Sweet Baby Ray's barbecue sauce on my list. (This has a point, and I will get to it, I promise!)

Mmmm... super easy Barbecue Chicken Pizza

(Oh! And after some of you suggested using a toaster oven while we wait to buy a new oven, I was intrigued by the idea--I never really thought of using a toaster oven in place of a real oven. We have a toaster oven, but it's a very small cheap one that we probably should have replaced a few years ago. So, after reading a million reviews on Amazon, I bought a new toaster oven and it's supposed to arrive tomorrow. It was definitely an extra expense for the month, but it's much cheaper than a new oven, and it should get us by for a long time. I'm excited to make pizza in it tomorrow!)

Anyway, I dropped off the kids at school and then stopped at Kroger to buy my groceries. When I got to the section where the barbecue sauce is, I noticed that the original Sweet Baby Ray's sauce was on sale for 10/$10--so only $1 each, instead of the regular $2.49. Awesome! I didn't know it was on sale, but when I saw that, I decided to get two of them. (Since Noah has been grilling a lot lately, I figured he could make chicken or something next week.)

So, I finished my grocery shopping and went through the checkout. When I got home, I looked over my receipt--something I never used to do! But since I've been doing the budgeting and really working on saving money, I have checked over my receipts lately just to make sure I paid the prices I had planned on.

I noticed that the barbecue sauce rang up at $2.49 instead of the $1 that the sign had said. I used to be a cashier at Kroger, and I know that most of the time when a customer says that an item rang up at the wrong price, they actually just picked up the wrong item and assumed it was the one listed on the sign. For that reason, I always double check the UPC number on the shelf tag or ad sign with the item to make sure I'm getting the right thing.

I was sure that I had picked up the correct bottle and that I didn't read the sign wrong. In the evening, I had to go back by Kroger when I took Noah to go skating with his friends, so I brought the barbecue sauce and my receipt to Kroger to hopefully get a refund of the difference. Noah and I went inside, and before I went to the customer service desk, I wanted to check the sign to make sure I wasn't wrong.

We walked to the shelf and sure enough, there was a tag that read 10/$10. I didn't want the manager to have to walk all the way back there to check it out, so I took a picture of it with my phone to show her. We walked up to the service desk and I explained what happened.

(I really love the Kroger that I shop at, and the employees are all super friendly--except for the managers. I try to avoid having to interact with them because they act like you are the biggest nuisance for just being in the store. I feel like I have to apologize for shopping there, hahaha. And I've only had an issue with a food item or incorrect price probably three times in all the years I've been shopping there, so it's not like I'm a customer that complains all the time.)

Today, the manager clearly didn't believe that I was telling the truth about the sign. I showed her the picture on my phone, and she said she was going to have to go check it out for herself. I waited patiently at the counter while she walked back there. When she came back, she said there wasn't a sign or tag anywhere saying that it was 10/$10.

I was kind of stunned--it had literally only been about two minutes since I took the photo! Noah was with me, and he saw everything, too. I showed the manager the photo again, and she still didn't believe me--she told me that I was going to have to go back there and show the sign to her. At this point, I just wanted to prove I wasn't a liar, so I walked back there to show her the tag--and it was gone.

I couldn't believe it! I'm SURE that she took the tag off of the shelf when she went to look for herself the first time. There is no way that one of the stock persons noticed it and removed it in the two minutes it took for me to walk to the front of the store! The time stamp on my photo even proved that it was there just minutes before. But she didn't want to look at that, and when I insisted that the tag was on the shelf just a couple of minutes ago, she just shrugged and said, "Well, there is no tag there, so I don't know what happened; they were on sale last week, but not now."

I just stared, kind of stunned that she would even think that I was dumb enough to believe that the tag mysteriously disappeared or that one of the stock persons removed it. She then said, "Well, if you really think you saw a sign, then I'll just give it to you for that price; but I know they aren't on sale, so if there was a sign, it was a mistake."

I know this is a long and petty story (it's just a bottle of barbecue sauce, after all) but I'm still just kind of speechless about the whole thing. Why didn't she just say, "Oh, that sign must have been left up there from last week; that's our mistake. But, since we didn't take the sign down, we'll just give it to you for that price" ? When I was a cashier, that's exactly how I would have handled it.

Noah and I laughed about it when we left the store, wondering how in the heck that just happened. If nothing else, it made for a funny story to tell Jerry later. Anyone else have an odd customer service experience like this? It was definitely a first for me!

Have a great weekend, everyone :)

(ETA: I did contact Kroger's corporate office, and I got a response from them. The response is posted here: Stolen (and terribly photoshopped) photos)

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Tidbits and Wednesday Weigh-in

Three posts in a row... I'm on a roll! ;)  (If you missed them, I wrote about my Ten Months of Depression, followed by The Pursuit of Happiness--a couple of pretty personal posts that describe the changes in my life since I was diagnosed with bipolar as well as the future of Runs for Cookies.)

I'm just going to mention some random things going on lately--not a ton to write about. 

I forgot to mention on the post about grocery shopping on a budget that we have another challenge to overcome right now... we don't have an oven! About six months ago, we started having issues with our oven temperature. I would preheat the oven, then put the food in, and when the timer went off, the food was barely cooked. So, I'd have to re-bake things several times, and it drove me crazy! I tried fixing the temperature sensor, but that wasn't the problem. 

Then, a couple of months ago, I was preheating the oven while cooking on the stove--and suddenly, the oven made a big BOOM! noise and the pot on the stove literally bounced into the air (a couple of inches), the door to the oven opened, and all the dust bunnies that were collecting underneath the oven flew out. I was kind of stunned. 

I obviously turned off the oven (we have a gas stove), and I haven't messed with it since. It's 14 years old, and we need a new one. But, we are going to hold off as long as we can, because we are determined to make our budget work. Also, it's kind of fun to come up with meals that don't require the oven. The budget itself has made it fun to face little challenges like this that pop up. 

I keep forgetting about not having an oven, though--for my mom's birthday, I planned to make a cake, and then at the last minute, I realized I'd have to make a no-bake dessert instead. I made this peanut butter pie, and it was really good--rich, too, so a very small slice was satisfying.

I mostly miss making casseroles, which are my go-to. I love one-dish meals! Casseroles, skillet meals, anything that uses just one or two pots/bowls. Actually, that's a big money-saving tip--casseroles and skillets that mix all the ingredients together make a very small amount of meat go a long way. (I can buy one chicken breast and stretch it for the whole family--some chicken breasts can be 3/4 of a pound!)

We don't eat the typical main-dish-with-side-dishes kinds of dinners; rather, we eat things like this Ground Turkey and Cabbage with Spicy Peanut Sauce, Spicy Taco Gnocchi, and Pasta e Fagioli (that's what I made tonight, actually). I never use more than one pound of meat when I cook dinner, and we usually get 4-6 servings out of each meal. (Jerry takes leftovers to work). It's convenient to have all of the ingredients from the meal mixed into one dish. 

Pasta e Fagioli for dinner tonight--this is so good!

Anyway, I do miss having an oven, but I also enjoy working around this challenge. We'll see if we can go a few more months! ;)

My Wednesday Weigh-in today:

Ugh. I cannot even describe how bloated I've felt all week. Taking that Bactrim made me SO sick, and I barely ate anything for four days because I was so nauseous. But my weight jumped up to 136 at the peak of being sick, and my belly was really distended. It's slowly going back down now, but I swear that antibiotic messed up my stomach really bad. My belly still bulges out much more than normal, and I feel enormous. I think my weight is up a pound or maybe a pound and a half from last week, but I don't know if any of it is a "real" gain. Next week's weigh in should be more accurate.

We went to the air show on Monday. I wasn't sure if we'd have good weather (it was supposed to thunderstorm) but Jerry was off work and our next door neighbor gave us tickets, so we really wanted to go. I hadn't been there since I was a kid, but I remembered really liking the Blue Angels. When we got there and set up our chairs, I realized I forgot my sunglasses at home.

I was super bummed, because it was hard to look into the sky without glasses, even though it was fairly overcast. There was a booth there selling sunglasses, and I really didn't want to spend money to buy a pair, but I finally just caved and bought their cheapest ones. Did I mention they were also the ugliest? Hahaha! But they worked SO good--they made everything brighter, but without any sort of glare, so it didn't hurt my eyes to look at the sky. 

After trying mine on and realizing how awesome they were, Jerry wanted a pair, too. But he came back with something different...

Goggles! Ski goggles actually used to be trendy for a minute back when we were in high school, hahaha. I think he was wearing a pair on his head the first time I met him! These ones weren't exactly the same sort of goggles, but nevertheless, he got them for old times' sake. And they were 2/$20, so he got another pair for Eli (who also forgot sunglasses). 

The four of us were quite the fashionable sight:

The show was okay... we loved seeing the Blue Angels, but the other parts were few and far between, so there was a lot of waiting. But it was a nice day with the family, so we all had a good time.

The kids started school yesterday! Noah is in 8th grade and Eli is in 6th grade. I can hardly believe it. 

When I started blogging, Noah was in first grade and Eli was in preschool. This was the first post I wrote about them starting back to school (starting 2nd grade and kindergarten). And here is the picture!

I cannot believe how much they've grown and how much time has gone by since I started my blog!

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Run Your Fastest 10K (Training Plan)

Want to run your fastest 10K? Well, this plan is for you.

I set a goal to run my fastest 10K when I was at a low point... my weight was more than 30 pounds over goal, and my pace was more than 3 minutes (per mile!) slower than I needed it to be to run my personal best.

I wrote this plan based on what I did to run the best 10K of my life. I set a goal, and I actually completed it! (Here is the race report).

This training plan assumes that you:

Have already built a solid aerobic base of easy running;
Can currently run 4-5 times per week, about 60 minutes at a time;
Are uninjured and have your doctor’s clearance to run per the schedule.

My intention with this plan was for a goal of running a 10K under 60 minutes, which is a popular time goal; but I’ve included other goal times and paces as well, because this plan will work for people with just about any goal from 45:00 to 1:30:00.

This plan is designed with an 80/20 ratio of easy running (80% or more of the TIME spent running) to moderate or hard running (20% or less) per WEEK. This is the ideal ratio for reaching your maximum potential as a runner.

I highly recommend the book 80/20 Running, by Matt Fitzgerald to explain why that ratio works. Here on this schedule, I’ve done all the math for you, so if you follow the plan as written, you’ll hit that ideal ratio. (Note: You’ll notice that in week 11, the ratio is 78/22—that is due to a key workout. Since the following week doesn’t have speed work, that extra 2% isn’t a big deal.)

Click here for the plan's printer-friendly PDF

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The Pursuit of Happiness

(...continued from my previous post, Ten Months of Depression)

In my last post, I wrote about a major depressive episode that I had in 2016-2017. It wasn't until I was able to get in to see a psychiatrist, come to terms with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, and start the correct medication that I started to get better. And since then, my life has done a 180 as far as my mood and outlook on life.

In a recent interview with Heather for the Half Size Me podcast (my most recent interview isn't released yet), I discussed the changes that have happened since my diagnosis--including several aspects of my life, such as my diet, exercise, daily routine, focus, and major goals. This affects my blog in many ways, so I thought it would be relevant to share here. One of the questions Heather asked me was where do I see Runs for Cookies going in the future, and it's something I've been thinking a lot about lately.

So, here is the story...

Right around the time of my bipolar diagnosis, I also made a pretty big breakthrough in therapy. I'd been seeing my therapist for nearly a year, and I really loved her (still do). She gives fantastic advice in such a gentle way, and it's very easy and comfortable to tell her anything at all. One thing that I really wanted to work on was to figure out where my binge eating stemmed from. I'd been binge eating since I was a kid, and I had no idea why.

A lot of times, you read about people with weight problems (or binge eating) that started as a result of childhood abuse or neglect. In those cases, there is a very clear connection of the abuse to the resulting binge eating/weight gain. For myself, however, that wasn't the case. I was fortunate to have had a great childhood--living with both of my parents in a stable home, no abuse or neglect in any way, and just a fairly "normal" way of life. I felt loved and cared for.

So, it was driving me crazy for years as to why I started binge eating. I finally decided that it was just because I enjoyed food and that sometimes I would binge when lonely or depressed in order to make myself feel better. Through therapy, I discovered that it was actually deeper than that, and when I learned what it was, I finally felt the weight lifted off of my shoulders and it was wonderful.

It's a rather long explanation, and quite personal, so it's kind of difficult to share. However, I think it's important to explain because it's the reason for the huge change in my life recently. The gist is that I've never really felt like I fit in with my family--in a family of six made up of extroverted, social, active, outdoorsy people, I was the polar opposite.

I was introverted, very shy, enjoyed reading more than socializing, preferred the indoors to camping, nature, and beaches. Where my family enjoys being in the sun, I prefer cool and overcast. They like camping; I like hotels. They like beaches; I prefer cities. They love parties and get-togethers; I prefer to spend time with a few close friends or family members.

I mean, look at those nerds... I was clearly the cutest sibling! ;)

Because I was the only one in my family like this, I grew up thinking that the things I enjoy are "wrong" somehow, and I felt bad about it--and bad about myself. My family never did or said anything to make me feel this way--they never even knew anything was wrong!--but I could see how different I was, and I didn't want to be.

So, I spent my life trying to be someone that I'm not in order to fit in. As a shy introvert, I try to avoid conflict as much as possible; so, I would go along with things that I didn't always enjoy or agree with rather than voicing my opinion. I kept my thoughts and opinions to myself.

Trying to be someone I'm not took a huge toll on me. I wasn't doing the things I enjoyed; and when I did, I felt like I was doing something "wrong" in some way. I didn't like being the oddball in my family, and I was worried they wouldn't like me if I was my true self. As you can imagine, this led to quite a bit of anxiety. I was always worried about disappointing people or doing/saying the "wrong" thing. (I now know that I wasn't wrong; I just had different thoughts/feelings than my family.)

I discovered early on that eating was a way to escape the relentless anxiety that I felt. My biggest fear was being a disappointment to other people, and the food made me feel better in a way that wouldn't hurt anyone else. My family never criticized or made me feel bad about my weight or eating habits, so it felt like a "safe" way of doing something that made me happy (at least in the short term).

(I do have to stop here for a moment and say that my family is amazing. I don't think I ever realized just how amazing they are until I was an adult. When I broke my jaw, especially, they all stepped up and did everything they could to take care of me, Jerry, and the kids. Whenever we've needed help with anything at all, I've been able to turn to them. I feel so lucky to have been born into this family, even if I am the oddball!)

I love this picture! I just wish Becky and Luke were in it. 

So, all of that backstory leads me to the present and future...

Since learning that about myself, and having my therapist explain that my thoughts/feelings aren't "wrong" in any way, I've felt an enormous sense of freedom to be myself around everybody--including my family--without being apologetic. After my bipolar diagnosis, I wrote a letter to my family explaining exactly what bipolar is and how it describes a lot of my behavior while growing up (as well as in my adult life).

By having the therapy breakthrough and diagnosis happen at the same time, the changes in my life happened pretty easily. With the correct medication and the newfound freedom to be myself, I felt like a whole new person. I started thinking about what would make ME happy, and what I wanted out of my life. I wanted to stop trying to please others by being someone that didn't feel like me, and start living for myself.

Thus began my pursuit of happiness...

The first thing I did was stop making myself run. I was dreading it all the time and I didn't get joy out of it anymore. Even though I was a little worried about how my blog readers would react (considering my blog is "Runs" for Cookies), I chose to do what would make me happier. I still don't know if I am done with running for good, or if it will just be a long-term break, and I don't feel like I have to answer that right now. It feels nice not to put pressure on myself!

Instead of running, I've been staying active in my day to day activities. I discovered that I love cleaning (thanks to being on the correct medication, I now have the desire and the energy to do so). I have been picking projects around the house that need to be done--closets that need organizing, or clothes that need to be donated, etc--and I've been working on them one by one.

Previously, I would have been in a hypomanic state and started a thousand projects at once, and then never finished any of them. This time, I'm working on one thing at a time, staying focused, and finishing what I start.

Cleaning keeps me active (I know it doesn't seem like "active" is the right word, but when doing heavy cleaning, I sweat and use muscles that I feel like I've never used before, so it's pretty active in my sense of the word).

I've also gotten enjoyment out of going for walks with friends (and/or Joey); playing with the kids (yard games, water balloon fights, fishing with Eli, etc); coaching cross country; meeting and catching up with friends; spending more time with my family (which is especially nice, now that I feel comfortable being myself); and several other things.

In addition to activity, I've changed my diet to make me happier as well. I don't use food to change my emotions--I don't eat to ease my anxiety, or relieve my loneliness when Jerry works nights, or even to celebrate things. Yes, I will eat at celebrations, but I don't see eating as celebratory itself, like I used to. I don't binge eat anymore. I'm not sure exactly what made me stop, but I think it's because my mood is so stable that I'm not looking for ways to self-medicate (something I did with food).

I've all-but stopped drinking alcohol. I am not anti-drinking, nor do I judge people who do drink. I've just discovered that it doesn't mix well with my new medication (even a drink or two causes very short-lived hypomania, followed by a few days of depression). I have to really weigh whether the consequences are worth it, and most of the time, I choose not to drink. It was tough at first, especially in social situations, but it feels easy now and the desire is completely gone. I never expected that!

Because my mood has stabilized, and I am able to focus on each task I start, I started a budget for my family to work on paying off our credit card debt. Even this has affected my eating habits! We have a very modest food budget each month, so it wouldn't be fair for me to spend a chunk of money on binge food for myself, or even to overeat the foods we have. I have been very reasonable with portion sizes due to our budget.

The budget has helped my anxiety in a huge way as well. We are finally ahead in our finances by doing the zero-sum budget, and we don't have to worry about having enough money to pay our bills each month. We've put a large dent in our credit card debt, and should be debt free in about seven months. Without the mood stabilizing medication, I never could have focused on (or maintained) this budget for any length of time.

These things that I mentioned have all contributed to my being happier: not forcing myself to run when I don't want to; having a clean, organized house; not self-medicating with food; spending time with and being active with my family; socializing with friends; being ahead on our finances; and most of all, being able to be myself without feeling apologetic for who I am.

I've started voicing my opinions, and I love it. It's a relief not to feel worried or guilty for expressing who I am. The people who cared about me and loved me still do--I don't know what I was so worried about all these years! I have discovered (by accident, and through therapy) that the road to happiness starts with being able to be myself and feeling good about who I am.

As far as the future of Runs for Cookies...

I'm going to keep my blog name. I considered changing it, but there is a lot that goes into changing something like that, especially when it's been so public. Having been in the From Fat to Finish Line documentary, and in several media outlets, I've become known as "Runs for Cookies", and it would be hard to change that. And who knows, maybe one day I'll run for cookies again; but right now, I am enjoying cookies without running, and it feels great ;) (Only instead of 10 cookies, I feel happy with just 1).

Weight loss and maintenance is still a huge part of my life, so I will continue to post about it. I don't expect to be struggle-free in maintenance (as you know, it's never been easy for me!), and I expect to continue the ups and downs (hopefully less frequently). I have found blogging about it to be helpful in getting and/or staying on track. However, weight loss won't be the main focus of my blog.

Going forward, I would like to write more about the discoveries I make in this "pursuit of happiness". I've enjoyed writing about budgeting/paying off debt, so I will continue to do that. Maybe I'll post about recipes that we've been trying (not "health food" recipes, but just food we enjoy). Activities that I try for the first time or do regularly. Projects I'm working on. Being an auntie to the happiest baby ever. Even just things I see on a day to day basis that bring me joy.

I almost feel like I am saying goodbye in some ways--at least to the old me. I'm excited about these changes, and I'm finally on a path that makes me feel happy about who I am currently--not who I hope to be someday. So, if you decide not to continue reading, I totally understand that! I thank you for following along. And if my current pursuit interests you, I welcome you to continue reading. And perhaps share your own path to happiness! :) xo

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Ten months of depression (and my turning point)

I've been writing quite a bit this year about doing things that make me happy. And it's been awesome--I feel happier than I have in a very long time!

I recently had an interview with Heather on her podcast "Half Size Me". I'd been a guest on the show three times previously, and I've always enjoyed it. Heather is very easy to talk to, and having lost a lot of weight herself, she really gets where I'm coming from.

These are my episodes:
The Half Size Me Show: Episode 040 (Nov 2012) 
The Half Size Me Show: Episode 126 (Jul 2014) 
The Half Size Me Show: Episode 247 (Oct 2016) 

I have been a listener since the beginning, and listening to the guests' stories has gotten me through many long runs.

Anyway, I was honored that Heather invited me onto the show again. My life has changed so so much this year, and I feel in a very good place right now to be able to talk about it. During my last interview with her, I was in a deep depression, and I felt terrible about myself. It was kind of exhausting trying to sound like everything was normal. (I've not listened to any of my own episodes, so I have no idea if it could be heard in my voice.)

I actually don't even remember much about that interview. All I remember is that I felt like a phony--and that I certainly shouldn't give advice about anything, because I was a "failure" (my feelings at the time). I don't know if this is typical of depression, but when I go through a depressive cycle, my memory is terrible. I honestly can't remember very much of the 10 months of my last depressive cycle.

This was right around the peak of my depressive episode

To recap some of the details:

Sometime in May or June of 2016, I crashed after having been on a huge "on top of the world" phase (which I now know was a hypomanic cycle of bipolar disorder). For six months, I felt beyond amazing--like I could do anything. And I had! From about September 2015 until May 2016, I was hypomanic--I lost weight pretty easily, getting down to 121 pounds; I became my speediest at running, going from 11:00/mile pace to under 8:00/mile; and I made all sorts of plans and goals. I was very ambitious! (Textbook hypomania).

At the peak of a hypomanic state

And then, within a matter of a couple of days, my mood shifted into an equal and opposite depression.

The depression got really bad in August. I always downplayed it on my blog, or just didn't talk about it at all, because I didn't want my blog to be dark and depressing. My weight went up a lot very quickly, because I was eating all the time to make myself feel better. I wanted to see a psychiatrist, because it was clear that antidepressants weren't doing anything for me; but it was damn near impossible to get an appointment! I eventually put my name on a nine month waiting list.

(Side note: I had been taking antidepressants for 15 years, and I thought they were helpful--but they actually weren't doing anything for me. When I would have a hypomanic phase, I thought it was the antidepressants working; and then when I was depressed, I thought it was just the "normal ups and downs of life".)

I wish it was that easy!

The rest of the year, I just focused on making it through each day. I was holding out hope that the psychiatrist could help me (eventually). In early February, I had a near-breakdown. I felt like I was drowning, and I had to do something drastic. Out of desperation, I flew to San Diego on a moment's notice (I was literally on a plane within hours of making the decision) to visit a friend and hope that the nice weather would help my mood. And for the few days that I was there, it worked!

In April, I got a call from the psychiatrist's office saying that they had a cancellation, and asking if I was available the following day. I felt so much relief! Before walking into my first appointment, I texted a close friend and said, "This is it. I'm putting all of my eggs in this one basket."

My first appointment would be a huge turning point in my life. That day, that appointment, saved me. It was a lot for me to process, though. Toward the end of our hour and fifteen minute appointment, the psychiatrist hit me with the diagnosis of bipolar disorder, and I was speechless. I was so sure he was going to say that it was major depression and/or inattentive ADHD, and I was prepared for that. I was not at all prepared for a bipolar diagnosis.

Interestingly, I had seen a psychiatrist in 2007, and was given the same diagnosis; I had brushed it off and thought it was ridiculous. I didn't even entertain the idea. And about a year and a half ago, when I started seeing a therapist (a psychologist), she was sure that I had bipolar as well--but I kept ignoring it, because I was sure she was wrong. My primary care doctor suspected the same thing, and urged me to see a psychiatrist for a correct diagnosis. And finally, my current therapist that I've been seeing for over year suggested it right off the bat, but still--I was in total denial. It took five professionals to finally get me to accept it!

This time, I had no other hope left inside of me. I had told myself that I would accept whatever the psychiatrist diagnosed me with and I would try the medication he recommended--even if it was a bottle of "weight gain pills" (i.e. more antidepressants). I still didn't really believe his diagnosis until he explained to me what a hypomanic episode is. And when we talked about the cycles in my life, I realized that it was textbook bipolar disorder. (I usually have 1-2 hypomanic phases and 1-2 depressive phases per year. In 2016, I had one of each.)

That day, my life completely changed (for the better). I started my new medication (a mood stabilizer, which would help keep me from getting too far "up" as well as too far "down"). There are definitely drawbacks to hypomanic cycles--while a lot of it is fun, there are some parts that are not so fun at all (anxiety is a big one).

In addition to the diagnosis and new medication, I started reading as much as I could about bipolar, and the more I read, the more I agreed with my doctor's diagnosis. Funnily enough, the most helpful things I found were actually memes about bipolar. I searched them on Google images and on Pinterest, and I found myself laughing to tears as I related to each of them.

I had felt very alone, not knowing anyone else with bipolar, but reading the memes made me realize that I wasn't alone. There were actually lots of people out there with the same crazy thoughts as me. (While some people dislike the word "crazy", I actually embrace it. I have found the humor in bipolar, which has helped me to accept it.)

Right around the time I was diagnosed, I also had a major breakthrough in therapy. I had always wondered what caused me to binge eat. I spent years reading books, filling out questionnaires, taking quizzes, doing anything I could to try and figure it out, and I never was able to--until my therapy with a fantastic therapist. It's kind of a long story, so I'll save it for my next post.

Tomorrow, I'll share about where I am currently, and how the diagnosis and therapy breakthrough have changed my outlook as well as my way of life (including things such as my eating and exercise habits). It's hard to believe that just six months ago, I never thought I would be happy again; and today, I am feeling the best I've felt for as long as I can remember!

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Grocery shopping on a budget (and debt update)

I am feeling quite a bit better today--other than a killer headache and some residual nausea, the side effects from the Bactrim are finally going down. Yesterday was another rough day--feeling super nauseous, bad headache, and zero energy. For those of you concerned I may have a kidney infection, I wasn't running a fever and my urinalysis was totally normal, so I'm 99% sure that I was sick from the Bactrim. Also, after all this happened, I remembered taking it before and having a similar reaction--nothing as severe, but I felt sick for a couple of days. I am never going to take it again!

My August was very uneventful, so my 1 Second Everyday video is probably my most boring one yet. But I still love this project, and not every day is going to be a party ;) The app just looks like a calendar, and then you tap on each day to choose the clip you want to use.

So, here is August's video:

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Budget Update

Yesterday was the last day of the month, so I spent the morning calculating how we did with our budget for the month. As nerdy as it is, I actually get really excited to do this stuff! Fridays are fun because it's payday, and I also do our grocery shopping for the week; but the last day of the month is my favorite, because I use our extra money that we saved that month to pay down our debt.

This month, we had several extra expenses--things like car registration renewal ($224, which sounds crazy); the kids' back-to-school supplies, clothes, and shoes; a birthday gift for my mom and a shower gift for Lance; and some other stuff. Oh, and I included Jerry's fantasy football in that, too, rather than having him use his "allowance". He worked 90 hours last week!! (He chose to; he didn't have to.) If spending $170 on fantasy football makes him happy, then it's money well-spent.

Anyway, after paying our bills and our extra expenses for the month, we were left with $977.50 to pay onto the credit card debt. Not bad! We only have two cards--just before we started the budget, I consolidated the cards I had down to two, and each has 0% interest for another year. The first card had a balance of $3157.75 when we started our budget in June. After yesterday's payment, the balance is down to $589.50--so we should be able to pay it off entirely next month!

Card #2 started with a balance of $7660.70 in June. Per the snowball method, we're just paying the minimum payment until card #1 is paid; then we'll apply everything to card #2. I'm guessing we'll have it paid off in about six months. Then we'll work on paying off the Jeep; and finally, the house. If all goes well, everything should be paid off in 3-4 years.

I'm amazed at how much better this way of budgeting has worked for us. We had tried so many times to follow a budget before, but because our weekly income varies so much, we never made it more than a week or two. And we were living paycheck-to-paycheck, which was super stressful. Now, using the zero-sum budget (which I explained in the post I linked to above), we don't worry about having enough money to pay the bills; and, each of us even has an "allowance"--cash that we can spend however we'd like.

[Anyone remember "Yellow Box" parties? I don't know if those still exist or not, and I don't remember them being very popular. But when the kids were very young, a friend of mine had a Yellow Box party, and of course I felt obligated to buy something. I ended up buying this huge piggy bank. It was totally blank when I bought it, and it came with paints to decorate it. I've had it ever since, and we love saving our change in it!]

I've been looking at the budget as a sort of game, and it's actually really fun! (Yes, nerdy; but I'm a nerd, so it works.) Today, being Friday, was grocery-shopping day. On Thursday evenings, I go to Kroger's website to load digital coupons to my Kroger card. They add new coupons about once a week, so I always check on Thursday nights.

Then I look at the weekly ad to see what's going to be on sale. I love when I can combine the sale items with the digital coupons. Something my mom taught me when I was young, and that I found to be very good advice, is that coupons only save you money if you use them on things you were going to buy anyway. In other words, I shouldn't buy things just because I have a coupon; but if I was going to buy Lucky Charms, for example (my favorite breakfast right now), and I can get a coupon, then that's great! I'm saving money.

I'm not, and never will be, one of the "extreme couponers" that spend hours clipping coupons and going to different stores and buying tons of things I don't need. (I actually don't even clip coupons--I just like using the digital ones I can load to my Kroger card, because I don't have to keep them organized or dig them out.) I only buy what we're planning to use in the upcoming week. But enough of this tangent...

After I load the coupons on my card and check out the weekly ad, I write a simple dinner menu for the week, and I try to include the items that are on sale or that I have a coupon for. Then I make a list of the groceries we need for the dinner menu, as well as other items we need for breakfasts, lunches, snacks, and household items--toilet paper, dish soap, etc.

I bought these "What to Eat" pads on Amazon a long time ago, and I'm finally getting good use out of them ;)

Obviously, I don't go into lots of detail--if I keep it simple, I'll actually do it.

And on Friday morning, I go to the grocery store. I always stick to my list, which I'm sure has saved us a ton of money. I used to go without a list and just buy whatever sounded good or was on sale. By using a list, I know that everything I buy will be used in some way that week, because I've planned it out ahead of time.

Today was a big shopping day, because I had to get the stuff for the kids' school lunches in addition to the usual stuff. The total before sales and coupons were applied was $218. Then after using my Kroger card, the total went down to $143! I got some really good deals today--my Neutrogena body wash, regularly $6.79, was on sale for $5.79. I had loaded a digital coupon for $3 off, making it $2.79. Then, because of another promotion, I got another dollar off. So, I bought my body wash (something I needed to buy anyway) for $1.79!

Another example is the Nature Valley granola bars that Jerry likes. They are regularly $3.99, and were on sale for $2.79. With the special promotion, they went down to $1.79. And then I had added a digital coupon for $1.00 off, so I got them for just 79 cents!

Finally, by shopping on Fridays, I get double the fuel points (100 fuel points = $0.10 off per gallon of gas). Last month, I earned enough to get $1.00 off per gallon--which really adds up when filling up the tank.

So, our budget starts fresh for September today. Since there are five Fridays (paydays) in September, we have planned to take the fifth paycheck and set it aside for next month. Jerry and I are going to Portland in October, and since he won't be working that week, his paycheck will be very low. To avoid getting behind, we're going to use the fifth paycheck from September to cover it, and then we won't have to worry about it.

Someone asked me after I previously posted about this budget how we got the money to actually start the zero-sum budget. Because you are using the current month's income to pay for next month, you need to front the money for a full month when you start--which is difficult! We were very lucky that we started our budget when we did, because it was an unusually high income month for us--there were five Fridays, Jerry worked a lot of overtime, and I had written a sponsored post. So, we ended up with just enough to start the zero-sum budget.

The fifth payday each month (if you are paid weekly) is something I've found to be a painless way to save up some money. Since most months have just four Fridays, we are used to living with four paychecks per month. If there is an extra payday, it would work out nicely to just set aside that whole paycheck; and when there is enough money to start the zero-sum budget (basically, you just need your "bare-bones" amount to start). Once you have the money to start the budget, it's very easy to keep going from there!

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I had totally forgotten about this until someone shared it on the From Fat to Finish Line Facebook page today! I was interviewed for an Oprah.com article, and it is now up on the site. You can find it here: Secrets to Keeping Weight Off.

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TMI talk and Wednesday Weigh-in

Don't read this if you're eating... just a warning ;)

Ugh. I feel absolutely awful right now. I wrote half a post last night, but I was feeling terrible--cold sweats, bad nausea, and I was so lethargic I could barely keep my eyes open. I didn't think I was getting sick or anything, so I started wondering if it could be food poisoning; I hadn't eaten anything that could possibly have triggered that, so that wasn't right either. But at the time, I didn't care. I just wanted it to stop!

I decided to just go to bed without finishing the blog post, so I went into the bathroom to get ready for bed; and suddenly, I dashed for the toilet just in time to start vomiting. This really freaked me out--I can tell you that I have thrown up exactly three times since I was a child. I have a stomach like a ROCK. So, last night, I was convinced I was dying.

This is just a re-enactment photo for your entertainment. Because who
takes pictures when they're busy puking their guts out?!

Threw up a couple more times, then went to bed. My mouth was super dry, so I drank nearly all of the water from my water bottle. About half an hour later, I was hit with horrible nausea again, and puked three more times--definitely all of the water I just drank.

It was a miserable night, and I couldn't sleep for anything! When I got out of bed this morning, I was SO nauseous again. Thankfully, I didn't vomit any more, but I actually wished I would, because my stomach was begging for it. I had really bad chills, too. I sat on the couch and started going over in my head what could possibly have caused me to get this sick. And then it hit me--I started an antibiotic a few days ago.

Over the weekend, I was having bad symptoms of a UTI, and an at-home urinalysis was positive. So I called the doctor who was on-call and he phoned in a script for Bactrim. I only had to take two pills a day for three days; and last night, I took my fifth pill. Holy hell, I will never ever take it again! I would honestly rather have UTI symptoms than feel even half as bad as I did last night and this morning. I'm still feeling really crummy, but better than the first few hours I was awake.

I Googled Bactrim and nausea, and that confirmed what I had suspected: I was sure it was the Bactrim that caused the symptoms. There were SO many reviews from people saying that it made them super nauseous and even caused them to vomit (also headaches, chills, sweats, and insomnia). I usually take reviews with a grain of salt, because usually, the people who take the time to write them either had a very bad experience or a very good one--not a lot of gray area. Still, reading through them, I saw I wasn't the only one who experienced this reaction.

Unfortunately, I had to take Eli to an appointment today. Not just a quick appointment, either--he needed an ultrasound, which was at 10:45; an x-ray; and then the appointment with the doctor at 1:00 (FYI, he is fine--nothing to worry about). The drive is about an hour, so we had to leave at around 9:30, and I figured we wouldn't get home until at least 3:00.  I took a Zofran for the nausea, which worked only a little, and then took Eli to his appointment.

We were done with the ultrasound and x-ray by 11:30, so we had an hour and half until his appointment with the doctor. I went to the check in desk and asked if there were any cancellations or anything, and the receptionist said that the doctor was booked, but if we wanted to wait in the lobby, then they may call us in if it worked out (a no-show or a shorter-than-planned appointment with someone else). Thankfully, I brought a book and Eli had games on his phone, so we settled in.

Literally about two minutes after we sat down, the medical assistant called for Elijah. I looked around the room, waiting for another kid named Elijah to stand up, but it was actually MY Elijah. I was shocked--but it was awesome we didn't have to wait! They had time to fit us in immediately. The appointment went well, and we were out of there. We stopped for frozen yogurt on the way home, and we got home by 1:30.

I'm still feeling terrible--headache and nausea--but I'm hoping that since I took my last dose of the antibiotic this morning (before I figured out it was the antibiotic that was causing me to be so sick), I'll start feeling better.

Anyway, that was just a very long way of saying that Bactrim made me feel like crap and I'm miserable. Haha.

But I did manage to do my Wednesday Weigh-in this morning:

I don't remember what my weight was last week, but I think it was close to this. It's kind of funny that my weight has been within such a tight range for a couple of months now that the numbers blur together for me--I don't know that I've ever gone this long while maintaining such a small range (131-134). Let's hope it stays this way.

Dinners were very simple this week. We used up a lot of our grocery budget for the month when we went out to dinner with the kids for Jerry's and my anniversary, so this week has been grilled cheese and tomato soup, scrambled eggs and toast, or cold cereal for dinner. Haha! But we've found the budgeting pretty fun, and who doesn't love grilled cheese for dinner?!

I'm going to try and post a recap of how our budget went this month, and how much we could apply toward debt. I find that I actually look forward to the end of the month so that I can calculate everything and pay down the credit cards. I think we may be able to pay off one of them next month!

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Oh, baby! (and Wednesday Weigh-in)

I write this post on about one hour of sleep...

It's been a baby-filled 28 hours. Brian and Becky have some friends visiting from out of town, and they decided to go to Detroit yesterday evening. They went to the Lions pre-season game and spent the night downtown. They'd asked Jerry and I to watch Luke overnight--and of course, we were thrilled! 

I haven't really taken care of a baby (at least overnight) since Eli was an infant, and that was 11 years ago. I don't even really remember much about the first year! But now, feeling like my kids grew up way too fast, I wish I'd taken more time to appreciate all the little things that I took for granted--even getting up in the middle of the night when the baby is ready to eat.

Becky dropped Luke off in the early afternoon, and I was so excited to spend the day with him. Eli loves babies, and Luke was pretty drawn to him. They sat on the floor together and Eli kept making him laugh by throwing tennis balls for Joey to retrieve.

I probably have 50 pictures of Luke's funny faces, but I'll spare you and just post three.

As you can tell, he doesn't drool at all.

Meanwhile, Jerry was power washing the deck--and holy cow, I cannot believe the difference. This is totally embarrassing to even post, because it shows just how bad the deck had gotten! We haven't stained it in YEARS, and I thought it just looked bad because it was old. Well, once Jerry started power washing, I realized that it looked so bad because it was neglected...

Shocking, right?

It was a gorgeous day outside, so we packed up all of Luke's stuff (for a baby, they sure do take up a lot of space! The carseat, the stroller, the diaper bag...) and we went to the State Park. Eli brought his fishing pole, so we found a spot for him to fish. I walked Luke around the small loop, and then we sat and watched Eli fish for a while.

It actually felt like fall yesterday! We wore long sleeves, and I was still a little cold. It makes me so excited for fall to get here.

When we got home, I cooked dinner, and then we were ready to chill for the evening. This was Luke's first overnight away from his mom, and I could tell he missed her. I was trying to give him a bottle, and whenever he saw my face, he started crying (that was the first I'd ever seen him cry!). Finally, I pulled up a video of Becky on my phone, and I played that for him. He stopped crying instantly, and started drinking his bottle. When the video stopped, he cried again; then I played the video again, and he was enchanted.

So, I basically just played the video on a loop while he drank his bottle, and it worked like a charm. I thought it was so funny that the video is what it took to satisfy him. He fell asleep at around 10:00, and I stayed up to watch an episode of The Walking Dead with Eli. I just recently let him start watching it, and he loves it--so we watch a little together each day.

When I went to bed, I couldn't sleep for anything. Lucas was in his pack and play at the foot of the bed, but I was constantly on edge, waiting for him to wake up (ridiculous, I know, but I'm not used to having babies spend the night). I never did fall asleep, and then at 2:00, he was ready to eat. Jerry told me that he wanted to get up with him (haha! That's how much we miss having babies) so he fed Luke while I unsuccessfully tried to fall asleep.

He was up again at 3:15, and then again at 4:15--and at 4:15, he was ready to start the day. He was upset until I turned on the light, and then he gave me a huge smile. So, we laid on the bed and played with his toys (and had another bottle) until about 7:30, when he fell asleep again. I took a quick shower and packed up some of his things for when Becky came to get him.

He was so happy all morning! He fell asleep while I was holding him just before Becky arrived. I didn't even move him--he just laid on my chest for an hour. I love baby cuddles!

After he left, I had about 20 minutes to get ready to go to a baby shower. My good childhood friend, Lance, is going to be a dad in November. I hadn't seen him in a long time, so I was excited to go to the shower and see him (and visit with my old neighbors/relatives--Lance and I grew up on the same block, so we know a lot of the same people).

The shower was really nice! I sat with my mom and three women from my old neighborhood, and it was fun to share old stories. On the shower invitation, Lance and his wife requested books instead of cards (which I think a lot of people do now) and my mom suggested I give Lance a book that he'd given me when I was about seven years old--The Jolly Postman.

When we were young, our moms (Lance's; Sarah's--my friend who lives in Arizona; and mine) would have a book exchange at Christmastime. There were six of us kids that would get together with our moms at a restaurant and exchange books (we drew names each year). Lance drew my name one year, and gave me The Jolly Postman.

It became my FAVORITE book for years. It was unique because it was a book with envelopes that had letters inside of them, and you could pull the letters out to read throughout the book. Anyway, my mom saved the book, and it was in the attic all this time. So, she gave it to me to give to Lance, and I wrote a note on the inside cover explaining to the baby that his daddy gave me the book nearly 30 years ago, and it was my favorite book.

Lance's mom gave him a gift from his (deceased) grandmother--a sweater that she had knitted for Lance when he was just two years old! It was in perfect condition, and it was gorgeous. When he was little, he always wore knitted sweaters, and I only learned today that they were knitted by his grandmother.

If you're curious about the apron, he and his dad were the "kitchen staff" for the shower--serving food and drinks and all that ;)

Anyway, the shower was super fun and I loved getting to see Lance for the first time in a couple of years. Usually, we get together at Christmas, but we didn't do it last year for some reason. Childhood friends are the best. And babies are the best. Despite my lack of sleep, it's been a great 28 hours or so. :)

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I just realized that I missed posting my Wednesday Weigh-in this week. Now that cross country has started, and I'm getting the kids ready to go back to school, the days are flying by.

I was at 133.6 on Wednesday--still inside of that 131-134 range I've been in for two months(?) now. I feel like I've had to work a little harder at it recently, but that might just be because I've been more conscious of my weight. Each day that goes by where I don't run, I get a little more nervous about keeping the weight off.

For months, I didn't think about the numbers at ALL, and I really didn't care. Now, I still don't care much about what the actual number is (I'd like to stay below 145, but that's the extent of my goal); but I always have that nagging voice in my head about gaining 20, 30, 40 pounds back.

I measured my body fat on Wednesday when I weighed in, and it was 22.7%. I thought that was up a couple of percentage points from being at goal before, but I just now went back and looked--on this post from 2015, at 133 pounds, my body fat was 22.7%. The exact same!

So, I think I might just be a little paranoid because I'm not running. I'm still being pretty active on a day-to-day basis, but I haven't been doing exercise for the sake of exercise, and it has made me more conscious of my weight/body fat. I'm very happy that I've been able to maintain this weight without counting calories or points or anything else. My biggest hope is that I can continue to do so!

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Gone swimming

As I've mentioned before, I'm not a swimmer. I know how to swim, but I just don't enjoy it--feeling wet and cold after getting out of the pool, or unsure of what's under the water in a lake. I wish I liked it more! But I hadn't been swimming since I went with Andrea, and I think that was probably in December?

Anyway, I happened to swim not once, but twice last weekend. On Friday, Becky (my sister-in-law) and Luke (my nephew, who is five months old) met my mom and me at the Rec center to go swimming. I was actually really looking forward to it, because I was excited to see Luke swim! My sister bought him an odd-looking flotation device for infants (it's basically a float ring that goes around their neck).

I hate buying bathing suits, and the one that I had for a while was getting SO worn and kind of baggy; so, last year, I bought a new one online, identical to the old one, in the same size. My weight was up last year, and when I did try it on, I discovered it was too small. The old one was so worn that it accommodated my weight gain, but the new one was, well, new. I tucked it in my drawer and hoped that I'd be able to wear it this summer (in the chance that I did go swimming).

Anyway, all of this is just to say that it fits! I was able to wear it to the pool, and it fit me well. And funnily enough, Becky was actually wearing the same suit! hahaha.

Luke was adorable in the water. The water was really cold, so I thought he would start crying immediately, but he was totally content. I don't think I've ever even seen him cry--he gets a little fussy when he wants to eat, but that's it. Brian and Becky are super laid back, though, and I think that Luke is taking cues from them.

I walked around the pool with him for a while, and then Becky put the float on him. I was cracking up, because it looks so uncomfortable, but Luke really loves it. He was kicking his legs, making razzing noises with his tongue, and then he just floated on his back like he was relaxing on the beach with a drink or something.

(Note that this is not just a regular inner tube. It's made especially for babies, and the inner part of the ring is designed to keep them from slipping through.)

We were in the pool for an hour and a half, and Luke enjoyed every moment of it. I was shocked! It was so fun to play with him in the pool.

On Saturday, I drove up to Chelsea (about an hour's drive) to have tea with Emily (a blog reader that I met last year and have become friends with). She was in town to see her boyfriend, and it was on the way to where I was going to meet up with friends for the day. A lot has happened since the last time we got together (March?), so it was great to catch up.

From Chelsea, it was only about another 20 minutes to get to my friends' Eric and Maris's cottage. Eric's parents own a cottage (which is actually a pretty large house) on a lake, and every year, Eric and Maris invite all of our high school friends to go and hang out for the weekend. Jerry and I weren't able to stay the weekend, but we spent the day on Saturday.

Shortly after we got there, we all went out on the pontoon boat. I didn't wear my bathing suit because I didn't plan on swimming; but after a few hours, I really had to go to the bathroom, so I decided to put my suit on while I was in the house. The pontoon boat was anchored, so my friend Paul used a stand-up paddle board to row me in to the shore. I have terrible balance, so I didn't even attempt to stand up (although one day I would really like to try it!). I was so sure I was going to tip us over, but we managed to get to the shore.

I changed into my suit, and when we got back to the boat, I got in the water. It was surprisingly warm, and I stayed in for a while until my fingers started to get wrinkled. It was quite a sight to see everyone in the lake with their floats ;)

I felt a little awkward because I was the only one not drinking, but I'm starting to get used to that now. I didn't completely quit, but I could count on one hand the number of drinks I've had in the last 4-5 months. Now, I just prefer not to--which is odd to me! Even after one drink, I could feel my heart racing, my anxiety get sky high, and I would feel puffy/bloated. I'm not sure if that's typical, or if it has something to do with my medication; but regardless, I hated that feeling enough to choose not to drink. It has saved a lot of calories and a lot of money, so I'm happy about that :)

Now that I think about it, I saw a lot of friends in the last few days. Aside from Emily and my high school friends, I went for a walk with Andrea yesterday morning. I hadn't seen her in a long time, and we got to catch up. And yesterday evening, I met my friend Jenni for frozen yogurt. (We finally got a Menchies nearby! We used to have to drive 45 minutes to get self-serve frozen yogurt.)

It's been a fun-filled week :)

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Fed Up with Being Fat!

Fed up. Quite literally, actually.

It was exactly eight years ago that I was completely fed up with being obese and miserable in my own body.

I hated waking up every day with a plan to lose the weight, and then caving before I even made it through dinner (or lunch... or breakfast...).

I hated feeling out of breath all the time, even when I was just talking on the phone or blow drying my hair.

I hated shopping, because it just reminded me of how big I was and that I would never be able to wear cute clothes.

I hated getting on the scale when I went to the doctor's office, knowing that the doctor would give me the same talk that I'd heard a thousand times before.

I hated that I couldn't be active with my boys.

I hated going to bed so full after a binge that I was in pain and swore I would never do it again.

I hated that I never felt worthy of doing my hair or make-up, and that I felt like there was no point to try to make myself look nice.

I hated that every single food decision was a battle.

I hated that I always lost the battle.

I hated that I could never get comfortable and that I would have to shift positions every minute to keep my limbs from falling asleep.

I hated that I avoided the camera at all costs and that there are so few pictures of me from that time.

I hated that I thought about food more than I thought about anything else.

I hated weighing more than my husband.

I hated that I couldn't cross my legs.

I hated struggling to tie my shoes, and eventually asking Jerry to help me.

I hated feeling like people were judging me for my weight every time I went in public.

I hated overhearing fat jokes about me, especially from a cousin at a family Christmas party.

Most of all, I hated myself for not having control of my own body and taking the initiative to lose the weight and be healthy.

All of these things finally reached a peak on August 19, 2009, and I was just done. Fed up! I made a very simple plan--to measure out and keep track of portions so that I didn't eat too much. That was it-- I didn't vow to change the foods I ate, or exercise (something I also hated), or anything else. The only change I was going to make was one I could live with: eat less food. I tried to make it as easy as possible.

It ended up being far from easy, but it worked. I dropped weight every week, and I was still eating my favorite foods. I made up my own rules as I went, modifying things to fit into my lifestyle.

Eight years ago, if you had asked me what I thought my life would be like in eight years, I would have said that it would be very much like it was that day, and all the days leading up to it. I never would have guessed that I would be where I am today!

It's kind of overwhelming to think of all the things that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't lost the weight. I wrote a list of the highlights since losing the weight, and it's just a small fraction of the impact my weight loss has had on my life. I also wrote a list of 100 things that changed after I lost 100 pounds. In addition to the all of the things that have happened, my weight loss played a part in meeting some of my very best friends.

One day, I tried to think of the actual magnitude of my weight loss. In just a small example: I lost the weight; I started writing Runs for Cookies; I formed a Ragnar Relay team made up of several of my blog readers who had lost an average of 100 pounds each; one of them was a filmmaker; she and her partner made a documentary about our team; the documentary and the team inspired people to start their own weight loss/running journeys; the Facebook group now has over 25,000 people; if any of those people inspired others (they certainly have!) then those people were affected as well. It's basically this huge snowball effect, and it's kind of mind-blowing.

All because I was fed up one day.

I was fed up enough that I made a small change by eating less food. And that change turned into more changes, which then had enormous impacts on myself and others.

I love that I am confident in myself.

I love not worrying about finding cute clothes in my size.

I love that I don't think about food all day.

I love that I feel sexy for my husband.

I love that I set a good example for my kids.

I love being able to run, bike, hike, swim, play, jump, stretch, and bend over.

I love not worrying about whether I will fit on an amusement park ride.

I love that I know what it feels like to be obese, and I have empathy for others.

I love being in photographs and not deleting them if they aren't flattering.

I love that my size doesn't hold me back from doing things I want to do.

I love that I am physically comfortable in my body.

I love not worrying about people judging me for my weight.

I love that my weight no longer stops me from being myself.

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