Good to Go For Surgery

I got quite a bit done today. I was 'supposed' to take Paolo to the shelter today, but I just couldn't do it! I'm so afraid that he'll either not get adopted or he'll go to a bad home. I looked on Craigslist today to possibly put an ad on there for him, but I started reading other ads and one was a scolding letter to the reader who is considering taking an animal to the shelter. I felt too guilty. I just wish I'd taken him to the shelter the second we discovered him living in our shed, because now I'm attached.

Anyways, I started the day with a 3-mile run on the treadmill. I decided to focus on the quality of the run rather than the quantity--so I ran sprints for the first mile, then I started running at 6.0 and increased it by 0.1 every 1/4 mile. I finished the three miles in 27:48.

After I showered, I headed out to get a few things done--I stopped at the post office to mail something, then I went to the lab to get blood drawn for my surgery. I went to the UPS store to mail a form I had to fill out--the consent for my surgery to be filmed. I got my three post-op prescriptions filled, and I am now good to go for surgery! I stopped at the vet to pick up some pills for the cats.

I've had my cats on Frontline Plus (for flea treatment) for YEARS, and they've never had fleas. Until we took in Paolo. I still put Frontline on them once a month, but all four cats somehow started getting fleas. The Frontline is just not working at all anymore. So I got a pill for each cat at the vet today that kills all fleas in about an hour.

I never used these pills before, because I never needed to--but I gave each cat a pill as soon as I got home. Within 20 minutes, they were all scratching fiercely. The fleas started dropping off of them like crazy. That shit works GOOD! After about an hour and a half, the cats were peaceful and all the fleas were dead. I ran a comb through all of them to collect the dead fleas, and then I cleaned the heck out of all the surfaces the cats sleep on, and I did a really thorough vacuuming of the house. I'm hoping that this will take care of the flea issue.

My weigh-in tomorrow is NOT going to be good. The past few days I've been ravenously hungry, and I've eaten much more than I have been the past few weeks. I'm still not going to panic, and I'm just going with it. Maybe I'm PMSing or something, and next week I'll go back to a normal appetite. Well, next week I probably won't have much of an appetite at all (post-op)!

My kids don't have school tomorrow, so I think I'll try and do something fun with them--after my surgery, I won't be doing much at all for a while, and I feel so guilty about that! I'll see what they want to do--and chances are, it will involve McDonalds.

I told Renee today that I am not going to do the 11k run on Friday. I just want to have a stress-free weekend, and I get stressed over things like that--I'll be too slow, I'll be tired the next day (11 pm is way past my bed time!). I think I might do a long run on Friday during the day, and call that my last run of the year!  I won't be running again until 2012. It's going to feel so weird!

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My Dr. Oz Show air date!

I just got an e-mail from Ali, the producer from The Dr. Oz Show, and she said that my show is going to be airing on Friday, Nov. 18th. It's on a 4 pm (EST) on ABC. I'm SO SCARED to see it! Thankfully, it's just after my surgery, so I'll be drugged up on Vicodin and hopefully not so critical of myself ;)  I really hope that they send me the "after" photos with Dr. Oz soon! I would like to have it when the show airs.

Renee came over last night for wine, and I told her about the whole Dr. Oz thing. And then today, I met her and Jessica for coffee to re-tell the story to Jessica :)  I ordered tea again--I still haven't had coffee since the day I gave it up a couple of weeks ago. I couldn't believe how bad my headache was from not having it, so now I just don't want to start drinking it again. And my anxiety level went down a lot when I gave it up!

When I got home, I made a Snickers protein shake for lunch--I haven't had one in almost a year, and I forgot how good it is! It honestly tastes just like a Snickers bar.

Renee asked me if I wanted to do a night run this Friday. It's on 11-11-11 at 11 pm, and it's an 11k run. A nice play on numbers :)  I decided to go for it, since it will be my last big run before surgery. It's not a race, but there is a big group of people doing this run. Hopefully it will be fun! I just hope I don't hold everyone back because I'm not exactly a speed demon.

Our neighbors brought over a couple of bags of cat treats today--they felt so badly about Phoebe being locked in their shed. That was super nice of them, but they have NOTHING to feel badly about! Phoebe does that crap to herself, and it's her own damn fault she got locked into the shed. But it was nice of the neighbors to think of her. And of course, as I held open the door to take the treats, Phoebe ran outside again.

Well, Jerry is going to be home in 15 minutes and I haven't a CLUE what I'm making for dinner. G'night!

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RECIPE: Snickers Protein Shake

Since I'm getting surgery next week, my doctor wants me to get a LOT of protein. This protein shake tastes JUST like a Snickers bar. It's a yummy treat!

Here is a printer-friendly version!

Snickers Protein Shake

1 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk (or whatever milk you'd like)
1 serving of chocolate protein powder (I used EAS brand whey protein powder)
1 Tbsp. instant vanilla pudding mix
1 Tbsp. instant cookies & cream (Oreo) pudding mix
1 Tbsp. peanuts
1 Tbsp. Torani sugar-free caramel syrup
1 cup ice cubes

Put everything in a blender and blend until smooth. Makes 1 (2 cup) serving.

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Fall fun

Jerry was off work today, and he's switching back to day shift, so we were both up at 5:30 AM. It felt kind of weird to spend a morning with him. When the kids woke up, they went outside with Jerry to rake the leaves in the yard. We have a LOT of leaves!

Jerry raked them into this HUGE pile and the boys hollowed it out to make a fort. They had a blast. I stayed inside where it was warm. Phoebe won't leave her wound alone, so I put the cone on her:

She kept trying to lick her wound with the cone on, and it was hilarious. What was NOT so funny was Noah opening the door and letting Phoebe outside with her cone on! She ran into the woods. I knew she'd have a hard time getting around in the woods with that stupid cone, so I once again, set out to look for her.

I was trying to clear a path while I was walking, and it took forever just to move a short distance. I kept calling for Phoebe, and I heard her trying to make her way toward me--she realized that she was fucked trying to walk in the woods with that cone on her head! She looked so mad at me when I picked her up and brought her back in the house.

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Today was the hungriest I've been since starting this non-diet thing 20 days ago. I just felt like eating and eating and eating. But I actually started looking at that in a different light... I barely ate anything in NYC, and I was so stressed last week about the Dr. Oz Show that I wasn't eating much. I think maybe my body is just trying to make up for those missed calories.

So instead of fighting it, like I would have in the past, OR beating myself up for eating "too much", I just went with it. I didn't binge, and I didn't try to restrict my eating. I just kept reminding myself that this is what my body is SUPPOSED to do. Even if I ate 3,000 calories today, that must have been what my body was needing today. Kind of hard to explain, but looking at it that way made so much sense to me.

Since it is a rare occasion for Jerry to be off and the kids to be home with us and not have anything going on, we decided to take the kids out to dinner for a special treat (it's a treat to go out to dinner because we never do!)  After a ton of deliberation in the car, we all agreed on Red Lobster.

I ordered a half-order of the Shrimp Linguine Alfredo with a Caesar salad, and I ate one biscuit. There was probably only one cup of pasta total, and I shared a few bites with the kids and Jerry. I ate about 3/4 of the salad, and two bites of Eli's chicken tender. Then the four of us shared a dessert--a warm chocolate chip lava cookie with ice cream!--I left feeling just barely full, which was perfect. I really like this way of eating, because it feels so normal!

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I forgot to mention this before, but I wrote the PR Director of Sparkpeople to let him know about my being on Dr. Oz. He wrote back and was very excited for me, but he mentioned that if I do the show, there would be no chance of me being in People magazine's Half Their Size issue--which as I've mentioned numerous times, has been a HUGE dream of mine.

People magazine won't take success stories that have been featured in the media before, so I essentially gave up one dream for another. I'm happy with my decision, because I had sooo much fun doing Dr. Oz. Also, there was NO guarantee that I would be in People even if I should reach 126 pounds. (Although, the PR Director from Sparkpeople met with the editor of People's Half Their Size recently and the editor said she thought I was "adorable" and was interested in me for 2013).  Having that 'People' dream definitely helped me reach my goals, so I don't mind putting it to rest now :)

I really don't even know why I was so interested in that (or doing TV!) because I'm sooo SHY. A lot of the success story people on TV get all excited and jump up and down and dance and all that fun stuff for the camera, but I just acted like myself--which is kind of reserved, unfortunately.

Oh, and speaking of that! Remember the "You can do it!" video I made for Sparkpeople? I was one of the seven members that was chosen for the video presentation they made. I was e-mailed a rough copy of the video and it looks awesome! It should be ready for public viewing soon, so I'll post a link as soon as it's ready. Lots of fun stuff happening lately!

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Pre-Op Excitement

Thanks for the advice on Phoebe!  Who would've thunk that one of my readers was a veterinarian?! If only one of my readers was a plastic surgeon looking for a pro bono case, I'd be all set ;)  I put a warm compress on Phoebe's wound a couple of times today and it no longer has any pus coming out--so I think that's good. It's still super red and there is still a hole in her skin though.  She's been sleeping all day, even sleeping on my lap for a while (which she never does).

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My surgery is a week from Monday! Can you believe it came this fast? I went to Sam's Club today to buy a bunch of high-protein snacks at the recommendation of my surgeon. I got cashews and pistachios, sliced turkey, Havarti cheese, eggs (to hard-boil), chocolate protein powder (whey--I haven't broken out since I started using it again, so maybe it wasn't the dairy that was causing me to break out after all). 

The hospital where I'm having my surgery called me today to ask me a million health questions and give me pre-op instructions. I made the full payment yesterday for the surgery (borrowed money, of course).  They are sending me a waiver in the mail to sign and return--it's to allow the surgery to be filmed. I'm still glad with the decision to do that, because now I know my surgeon will do her best work ;)  I made sure that my name and any identifying information will not be anywhere on the video.

I got my other compression garment in the mail today, and I opened it to try it on--I wanted to make sure it wasn't waaay too small. I'm surprised that it's not nearly as tight as I pictured (especially since I haven't had the surgery yet, so my skin is all still there and in the way). I wonder if I should have ordered a small instead of a medium?  I followed the guidelines for measurements, and it said medium. But I've lost 10 or so pounds since I ordered it. I would rather it be too tight than not tight enough. I'll ask my surgeon.

Jerry used my being layed up and not able to do much other than watch TV for 10 days as an excuse to order Showtime today. Normally, I'd be pissed to spend $15 a month on it--but I want to watch Dexter soooo badly that I am going to "allow" it ;)  at least until I'm not restricted in my movement. Occasionally, we get free Showtime for 6 months, and that's how we got hooked on Dexter. I'm dying to watch this season! I also want to watch this season of The Big C, because I got hooked on that too.

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 I went for a short three-mile run today. It feels weird to not have a schedule, especially since I can only run for another week before I have to stop for six weeks. I've also gotten so used to running five or more miles at a time, so three just seems like a waste of time. Which is stupid thinking, I know. Three miles equals about 300 calories, which equals a yummy dessert! Of COURSE it's not a waste of time!

Speaking of food, it's been 19 days since my last binge! AND that includes spending a night by myself in NYC. I've been doing awesome with this non-dieting/non-intuitive eating/non-bingeing approach :)  Eli gave me all of his Tootsie Rolls yesterday, because they happen to be the one candy he doesn't like. I love them! I ate one last night and one after dinner today, and I don't even feel the impulse to go eat the rest. This is such a strange feeling, but I hope it lasts! 

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I've been going crazy with wanting to know when my Dr. Oz episode will air! I'm so scared to see it! I almost don't want to watch, because I'm afraid I'll be too critical of myself, and only see the flaws. I was trembling so badly while I was on the stage, and I'm afraid my lipstick was too red, and I'm afraid my arms are going to look ginormous.

A lot of you asked me if I was going to mention my blog--and no, I didn't. I wasn't allowed to mention my blog or Sparkpeople :(  I asked over and over about Spark, because I feel so passionately about Spark, but the producer said it didn't "fit in". I didn't get to CHOOSE what I talked about.

Basically, a producer interviews you for a looong time and picks out the stuff they want to use--it's all the truth, but it isn't the whole story. I didn't even get to mention RUNNING. I just hope that what they chose to use was actually helpful and/or motivating to people. But enough about that. I'll write more after it airs!

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I didn't have much time to e-mail last week because I was very busy getting stuff together for the show--I'm still catching up. Sorry if you're waiting for a response!

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And then there were three...

That was the ORIGINAL title of the blog I was going to post today. I even started writing it this morning. But everything changed...

Before I left for NY, I was filling the cat food bowl when I realized that I hadn't seen Phoebe for a couple of days. Phoebe is our orange cat with half a tail:

She spends about 99% of her time outside by choice. We've tried so hard to keep all of our cats indoors, but Phoebe's heart lives outdoors, so we gave up even trying to keep her in. She comes in the house about twice a day for just a minute to scarf down some food, and then she heads back outside.

But I realized on Tuesday morning that I hadn't let her in for a couple of days. I decided to ask Jerry if he'd seen her, but I was so busy getting ready for NY, that I forgot about it. Until this morning. Jerry came home and Phoebe wasn't waiting on the porch to get in, like usual. I asked Jerry if he'd seen her, and he realized he hadn't seen her for days.

I knew, at that moment, that she was gone. She never stays away this long (four days and counting). Jerry and I both figured she got in a fight in the woods across from our house where she likes to hunt mice, and was probably killed by a coyote or shot by a hunter or something. We told the kids that someone probably took her, because she's so pretty and they were a little upset, but I didn't want to tell them what I'd guessed happened to her.

I asked Jerry to go look for her body in the woods when he was done sleeping. I thought about her through breakfast, and decided to just go out in the woods by myself to look for her. There was SO much brush and weeds and trees, and it was hard to get through it all. Not to mention that all the leaves are the same color as Phoebe, so it would be hard to spot her body. I looked for about an hour, and found no sign of her.

When I came out of the woods, I was in front of my next door neighbor's house, so I cut across the yard to get home. I saw my boys' soccer ball in their driveway up next to their shed, and I went to pick it up. I started calling for Phoebe, just in case she happened to be somewhere back there, and I heard a faint meow.

I stopped and listened, and I heard it again. I started calling louder for her, and she answered again, but it sounded weak. I discovered that she was locked in the neighbors' shed! They weren't home, and there was a padlock on the door. I tried pulling and pushing on the door to make a big enough crack for her to get out, but I only got it open a small crack.

She sounded so weak and she kept sticking her paw out the crack to touch me. It was heartbreaking. I ran to the house and got a small plate and I smeared canned food all over it hoping it would stick to the plate when I turned the plate sideways to slide through the crack. It worked, and Phoebe wolfed down the food immediately.

How sad is that?!

I woke up Jerry, and he called the neighbor's cell phone to tell him the problem. Cory told him to do whatever he had to--break the lock, take apart the door, whatever. First, Jerry tried to break the lock:

That didn't work. So he ended up unscrewing the bolts from the door hinge on bottom, and pulled it out enough to free Phoebe. She was so grateful to be out, she immediately started purring in my arms. I noticed she had a puncture wound on her back that looks infected:

The last time she had a wound like that (an animal bite, most likely) she needed surgery. I doused it with peroxide, and I'm going to keep an eye on it.

She immediately snuck back outside at her first opportunity, but she came in when the kids got home from school, and she's been sleeping on the arm of the couch ever since:

So we're back to four cats and I am happy that she didn't get hurt. I had been imagining all kind of horrible things happening to her.

Cory told us that the last time he opened the shed was on Sunday, the 30th--so she was in there without food or water for a long time! That cat is living on borrowed time, I swear. When we took her in, she had half a tail, a bb (from a bb gun) under her skin, and later she almost died from a puncture wound infection that we paid a small fortune to fix. She's a badass!

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Cinderella

Right now I feel like Cinderella, and it's quickly approaching midnight.  :(

Today was one of the most AMAZING days of my life. I wish I could share it all with you now, but unfortunately, I have to spare most of the details of my Dr. Oz Show experience until after it airs. And I STILL don't know when that is going to be!

The flights were uneventful--yay! I didn't even take any Xanax. I was worried it would make me too tired when I got to the studio, so I endured the flight without it. The flight was only an hour and a half. I was completely in AWE when I was flying into La Guardia airport. I could see the city perfectly, and it was amazing:

I was completely overwhelmed by the enormity of the city. I've been to NYC once before, but I was only 16 years old--not old enough to really appreciate the hugeness of it.

The whole 24 hours that I was there went by so quickly!  I met some AMAZING people--all the producers, and some of the technical crew, and the hair stylists and make-up artists. I couldn't believe how much work went into the show. I also met a woman named Jennie, who is the first guest that will appear. Her story was unbelievable, and nearly made me cry before it was my turn on set. I felt like my story didn't hold a candle to hers!

Right now I'm terrified of seeing the actual show. I wore a sleeveless dress, and you know I hate my arms. So I just hope they don't look absolutely horrible. But the dress situation was awful, and I will explain all of it later. All my friends and family are super excited to watch the show--I'll be so embarrassed if I look ridiculous.

I ate really well while I was there. Actually, I under ate--not on purpose.  Yesterday, I just had a Larabar for lunch on the plane, then I didn't eat dinner until 6. I was at my hotel, so I just walked around the block and bought something to bring back to the room. I ate until I was satisfied, and ditched the rest :)  Then today, I was too nervous and then busy to eat anything all morning. I ate lunch at the airport at 2:00 pm. Then I had some chocolate covered almonds on the plane, and that's it for the day. I might have a snack now.

Anyways, on the plane today I wrote down (with a pen and paper--been a while since I've journaled that way!) all the details of the past two days, so I will share everything after the show airs.

When I arrived home, I went to pick up my kids from my mom's house, and was greeted with this:

My kids gave me flowers and were just about to make a Welcome Home banner when I pulled up :) 

I wish I could leave my hair and make-up like this forever!!

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Just one more

Okay, I lied. THIS will be my last entry before I leave for NY.  Since I won't be able to do my usual Wednesday Weigh-In tomorrow, I figured I'd do it today (a day early). Good results!

Lost 2 pounds this week

27.25  (Down 1/2 inch this week)

Body fat is 24.2%, down 0.8% from last week

Not bad for 6 days of NOT counting calories! I'm still going strong.  Yesterday was no exception--which is big news, because Halloween is my biggest temptation of the year. For some strange reason, the candy wasn't tempting me yesterday (I know, what the hell is wrong with me?!)  So I chose to utilize my "rule of two" on a small piece of Mark's birthday cake and a scoop of ice cream.

The cake was just a boxed cake with canned frosting, but I LOVE that kind :)  Mark was thrilled to be celebrating his birthday, and (as always) very grateful for the gifts he received (a new coat, a warm hat, and a fishing hat). Here he is in his fishing hat:

My mom made chili in the slow cooker for dinner, so I had a small portion of that with cheese, onions, and sour cream. I took a piece of corn bread and a few crackers with artichoke dip too, but I didn't really like them after trying them, so I didn't eat them. I KNOW--what the hell is going on with me?  Then we set up the driveway for the trick-or-treaters:

Jerry took my kids out to trick-or-treat, but there weren't very many houses participating this year :(  They still came back with a lot of candy. (When he went home from my parents house, our next door neighbors said they only got a couple of kids, so they had a ton of leftover candy. They gave each of my kids a big bag of it!)

Noah and Eli

My dad put copper wire in the fire to make it colorful

My dad's costume took a beating--that's Jerry in there

Jerry played a good Spongebob. He was dancing and singing, and all kinds of kids went up to him and gave him hugs. I think he even scared a couple of small kids, haha.

Anyway, it was a fun Halloween, and thankfully, not TOO cold. I was up at 4:00 this morning and unable to sleep because of nerves for today (and mostly tomorrow, of course)!

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Is it really Halloween?!

I cannot believe it's the end of October already! Fall is my favorite time of year, and I feel like I missed it. We didn't even go to an apple orchard or pumpkin patch at all this year.

I leave tomorrow for New York, so I won't be blogging until I get home (if I'm not too exhausted, I'll try and write on Wednesday night). I won't be posting anything about the show until AFTER it airs--sorry, but you'll have to wait a couple of weeks longer!  I will let you know the air date ASAP though. Also, I will write everything down while it's fresh in my memory--but I just won't post it here until after the air date. I just hope that they'll let me take lots of pictures of everything!

I went for an 8-mile run today. I did a slow pace. It was pretty cold for the first few miles. I just wanted to get in one long run before heading to NY. Besides, it never hurts to burn 800 calories on Halloween ;)

I take that back... 955 calories. I used my HRM, so I think it's accurate!

I went to TJ Max today because I had a gift card that was about to expire. I actually have about 5 more gift cards that have to be used soon. Do any of you have that problem? Acquiring gift cards and just never using them? I tried on clothes, but I didn't want to buy anything before my lower body lift. So I ended up just buying a pair of pajamas (fleece, of course!) and a bunch of tea cups. Love the cups!

The new tea cups (and that's just some of my tea in the background)

Since I stopped drinking coffee, I've been drinking more and more tea. I like these cups because they are kind of big.

Jerry just took the kids to his parents' house to show their costumes. Jerry's mom always goes way overboard with the candy, and they each came home LOADED with it. Here's a pic of Eli with most of his loot (I say "most" because he'd already eaten some). This is JUST from Jerry's parents:

Could there BE any more Reese's Cups?!  Strangely, I don't really feel tempted by it (yet). I just hope it's all gone by the time I get home from NY!

Well I have to cut this short, because we're going to my parents' house to celebrate Mark's birthday before trick-or-treating. Have a great Halloween!!

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Subscriptions

If you have a subscription to my blog, please read this!  I discovered today that the spot on my blog to sign up for e-mail subscriptions was linking you to the wrong feed. It's the same content, but it was called "Maintaining Half My Size" back when I first started this blog. It's causing me a lot of confusion now on Feed Burner, so I'm going to delete that feed.

If you have an e-mail subscription, you may have to re-subscribe. All you have to do is enter your e-mail into the box on my page where it says Follow by Email, and it should be good to go. This MAY also effect the people that subscribed to the RSS feed back when it was called Maintaining Half My Size. If you think that could be you, you might have to re-subscribe by clicking on the little box under Subscribe By on my blog page. Regardless, if you don't see a post from me sometime Monday, then you probably need to re-subscribe.

Sorry for the hassle, but it will make things way less confusing for me if I delete that feed. This only effects about 80 people, so hopefully you're not one of them! ;)

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It was another cold morning. When the kids were getting ready to leave for church, I thought I would make Noah laugh by attempting to put on his coat. I figured I wouldn't even be able to get the sleeve past my elbow. Turns out I was able to put it on AND zip it up! Hahaha, it's a boys size 8 coat (Noah is 7 years old) so I was actually kind of thrilled at that fact!

If only the sleeves were a little longer...  ;)

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I made Southwest Chicken & Beans in the slow cooker for dinner. I was craving guacamole, so I decided to put cheese, guacamole, and sour cream on top. It was SO good.

I love really sloppy food like that--where you can just throw a bunch of shit in a bowl and call it dinner. The messier, the better!

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Estelle (my ugly cat) found a new perch that I am NOT happy about. I have a treadmill that folds up when you're not using it, and I like to keep it up so that the cats don't walk on it and scratch it up. Well Estelle must have been offended that I would even think that about her...

Can you spot her this time???

Then when I yelled at her to get down, she of course slides down the nearly 90 degree angle with all 18 claws out full-force.  Did I mention how NOT graceful she is?  When she runs around the house, it sounds like a herd of elephants or something.

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When I go to bed tonight, it will mark two full weeks of being binge-free. That hasn't happened in a long time!! I'm loving this, but again--I don't want to speak too soon.  Tomorrow is Halloween, which I remember very clearly was the day that I started bingeing again last year. I was obsessed with Halloween candy, and I ate a ton of it Halloween night. I gained about 6 pounds between Halloween and the day I broke my jaw (November 12).

Tomorrow is also Mark's birthday. We have him over to my parents' house every Halloween for his birthday and to hand out candy. We have dinner and cake, and then my dad makes a fire in the driveway where we hang out and pass out the candy (and Jerry takes my kids trick-or-treating). So tomorrow, my plan is to follow my "rule of two" that I've been doing lately. I tell myself I can pick two things that I really want most, and eat them guilt-free (along with a normal dinner).

I don't know what we're having for dinner, but I'll eat a little of that, and then pick my two choices. I'll probably have a piece of cake and a piece of candy, but if I don't like the cake, then I'll just pick two pieces of candy. Hopefully my kids will eat all of their candy (at least all the good stuff!) while I'm in New York on Tuesday and Wednesday. So maybe I'll avoid the Halloween weight gain this year :)

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