Oh my gosh, you guys, this was so much worse than I ever anticipated. Remember last week, how I was sick with (what I thought was) COVID, and it was also my birthday? Well, I said I was going to skip the scale that day for those reasons--not necessarily valid reasons, but excuses nonetheless.
I had hoped that I would eat really well and get back to good habits and then by the time today's weigh-in came along, I'd be back on my way to my goal weight range. Since all I seem to be doing is gaining weight recently, I knew it was a good possibility--but I had no idea just how much!
Let me just say, I *really* don't want to post this here and I most likely won't read any comments on this post. I feel stunned and not at all happy with myself. I'm horribly embarrassed. And how is it even possible to gain so much in just two weeks?
But I promised myself I'd post it. No matter what. So here goes...
I was at 153.0 this week, which is a gain of 8.8 pounds in two weeks! I feel every pound of it, too. It's not just "water weight" (some of it, maybe, but my jeans are very, very tight). This is a legit weight gain.
I debated whether to list any possibly influences because I don't want them to sound like excuses. I certainly do make excuses sometimes. But I'm also the first to own up to the problem when I know I've been overeating. So, here are some possibilities that may have contributed to this gain:
1) A new medication. I don't think this is the reason because my medication isn't known for weight gain and I was gaining weight long before I started it.
2) Snacking at night. It's SUCH a bad habit that I'm having a very hard time breaking. Today, my month-long challenge starts where I can only eat at the dining room table with NO distractions. I can guarantee that I will probably stop snacking altogether this month because of that rule.
3) Sweets. I've gone back to eating sweets again, which is super frustrating. I didn't crave them AT ALL and I was totally fine not eating them. Then, when Jerry and I went out to Chili Mustard Onions (a vegan restaurant in Detroit), the hostess bought us dessert. She was being super kind, so I felt obligated. I ate it and it was delicious! Ever since then, I've been unable to get back to not eating sweets.
My sweets haven't been too horrible, though--I usually make Cookie Dough Dip. While it's not healthy, it could be much worse! Still, though, I never stick with a small portion.
4) I stopped having my usual breakfast and lunch (which were loaded with fiber and micronutrients). Instead, I skip breakfast and lunch and then just eat way too much in the evening; or, I eat junky stuff during the day instead of breakfast and lunch. My "usual" breakfast and lunch are both cold, and since the cold isn't exactly my friend in February, I may need to change this up to warm food.
5) I have started eating tofu and seitan and things like that instead of what I ate in the beginning (lots of whole grains, beans, and veggies). The more I explore vegan ingredients and cooking, the more I enjoy the food! So eating chick peas is boring compared to eating tofu. I can find lower-calorie ways to prepare tofu, which is probably what I'm going to have to do. And maybe I'll make a rotation of protein products each week: tofu, seitan, soy curls, and beans, mostly. By doing that, I won't rely on my favorites (tofu, seitan, and soy curls) so much. They aren't unhealthy, but they are so good that I eat too much. I'm much mess likely to overeat chick peas!
6) More veggies! I NEED to get back to eating more vegetables. I was roasting them frequently but once I got into more tofu and less beans, my veggies kind of started waning as well. So, I'm not getting nearly enough fiber.
7) I've had a terrible 2023 so far. It's been one thing after another--I wish I could write about everything on my blog so it could make more sense (I really despise when people are cryptic like this), but I like to maintain people's privacy. So, just know that I've been having a lot going on in my private life that has been extremely overwhelming, stressful, and even depressing.
8) I haven't been doing meal planning and grocery shopping like I used to. I like knowing exactly what I'm going to be making for dinner so that I can get things prepped and ready during the day in order to make it easier when it's time to make dinner. A few days ago, I made several batches of sauces to put in the freezer. I told Jerry about my "grain bowl" go-to I used to make: pick a grain (barley, rice, farro, millet, etc.) + protein (seitan, tofu, beans, soy curls, etc.) + vegetables + sauce. It's super easy to prep everything ahead of time so it can just be thrown together any time.
Okay, well, that's a good start as to my thoughts about this weight gain. It will be VERY interesting to see what my weight is next week, assuming I stick with this eat-at-the-table-only challenge. It would be great if it helped me to break the snacking habit!
Well, there it is. There *I* am, extremely vulnerable and honest. And kind of mortified. I never predicted this!
Some upcoming things I have to look forward to and would like to be near my goal weight for:
1) Going to Illinois to dog-sit for my sister's basset hounds. I'll be there for about five days.
2) The 10K race with Nathan. I want to be in shape and have it not feel extremely difficult.
3) A friend is coming to visit in May and I have a couple of interesting things I'd like to do--but I want to be in shape to do them.
4) If we go up north to Jeanie's this summer, I'd like to be at my goal. The last time I was there, I was losing weight and I swore I'd be at my goal weight the next time I went.
And there you have it. Weighing in after 88 weeks. Gaining nearly 10 pounds in two weeks. Feeling disappointed in myself and embarrassed. Feel hopeful that I can nip the snacking with this February challenge!
Good luck for the February challenge. It sounds like you have had more important things to deal with than your diet. Dieting is much easier in nicer weather. Never give up.
ReplyDeleteWe made it through so much winter already, and spring is the best time to run outside! I think you'll run that race and feel so happy. I keep wondering...what about V8? I think if I drink one every morning, isn't that all the veggies per day needed?
ReplyDeleteIt really sounds like you've had some rough times happening in your personal life :( Obviously we don't know the details and we don't need to (ignore any nosey people lol) but I wonder if you should take a step back from weekly weigh ins? These only seem to be adding to your stress! Stress can do crazy things to your body, including putting it in a "survival mode" so to speak. Your body might be hanging on to the nutrients it's getting as a way to keep you surviving! (Something I learned from a dietician.) You need to do what is best for you and your family! Your loyal readers and internet friends will always be here to support you! And that includes understanding if you need to take a step back from some blogging aspects. I'm always wishing you the best Katie! <3 I hope you start feeling better! Sending much love!
ReplyDeleteMaybe it would be helpful to go back to calorie counting? That kind of weight gain is like 2000 extra calories per day. Counting calories would be helpful in seeing where those extra calories are coming from.
ReplyDeleteI think that you being sick probably had a big effect on your body and you're possibly retaining some water weight from all of that. Also, the new meds may be causing you to retain water - not that I'm saying you should go off them. You may adjust to them and stop retaining the water.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure why eating more tofu translates to eating fewer vegetables. As a former vegan, few things are tastier than a veggie and tofu stir fry, or roasted veggies with baked tofu. It is not necessary to marinate tofu in oil, either; I never have. The other day I just tossed some tofu with a bit of soy sauce, then with a dusting of cornstarch and put the pieces on a lightly oil-sprayed piece of parchment paper, then baked them in my toaster oven, flipping once or twice, until they were golden brown. No deep frying needed. Soy curls and seitan are always going to be more calorie dense than tofu or vegetables and beans. Salads are not very fun in the winter, but roasted broccoli and cauliflower are delicious (IMO).
ReplyDeleteI think what happened is you wanted to start duplicating junk foods with vegan ingredients. Vegan ingredients don't automatically make a junk food meal healthy or low-calorie. Oreos, technically, are vegan, after all.
Also, don't get hung up on having to make things the whole family is going to eat (and therefore duplicating calorie-heavy meals with vegan ingredients). Make what you know to be a healthy, balanced meal, with your caloric needs in mind (and Jerry's, if you're cooking for him). Your sons are working outside the home, they are capable of getting and making their own meals. Is it ideal to sit down and eat together? Sure, but given your family's schedule that's not likely to happen, and if you have healthy food in the kitchen rather than junk food you're more likely to eat healthily.
Sending hugs. I know this is frustrating. I honor that. And, I still think you're perfect just as you are.
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