October 16, 2021

Would You Rather...?

My mood is still in a weird funk and I really just want to bury my head in the sand for a little bit and pretend life is just at a standstill. I feel very overwhelmed for some reason; I have a lot to get done, but not much more than usual, so I'm not sure why I feel this way.

I'm starting to think that I'm experiencing a "mixed episode" of bipolar, which is something that never really made sense to me until now. A mixed episode means having multiple symptoms of mania/hypomania and depression at the same time.

I looked up the criteria for it to be classified as a mixed episode and this is a summary of symptoms from the DSM-V (source):

I feel like I'm more on the hypomanic side of things right now, but I definitely have several of the depressive episode symptoms as well. I may need to talk to my psychiatrist and increase my mood stabilizer (at my last appointment, we decreased it a bit).

Anyway, I'm not prepared to write anything worthwhile at the moment, so I thought it would be a good time for another "Would You Rather...?" post. I got the questions from this site. Here goes:

Q. Would you rather be a genius and know everything or be amazing at any activity you tried?

A. This is a great question! But I really didn't even have to think very long about it. I'd rather be a genius and know everything. One of the best parts of life is practicing hobbies and finding what you're good at. I was was amazing at everything I tried, I think life would be boring. 

Q. Would you rather dine alone or watch a movie by yourself?

A. I'm assuming that this question is referring to going out--eating alone in a restaurant or watching a movie at the theater by oneself. I'm actually really comfortable with either one! I've always been that way. In college, my roommate thought it was SO WEIRD that I would occasionally go out to eat by myself. I've gone to movies alone, too. I guess if I had to choose, I'd prefer to watch a movie by myself, since there isn't much talking involved anyway.

Q. Would you rather be the richest person in the world or be immortal?

A. Honestly, I think either of these would be a curse! Being filthy rich is never something I've dreamt of. I feel like from the moment people learned of your wealth, your relationship would change. I think it would be extremely difficult to trust people--I'd always be wondering if they actually liked me or if they were just interested in money. 

Being immortal would come with its own set of problems--you'd see everyone you love die eventually; goals in life would change because you wouldn't have a timeframe to of which to base them; and I feel like life would lose a lot of purpose if you had no ending. 

But, in true "would your rather...?" fashion, if I had to choose, I would rather be rich.  

Q. Would you rather wear pants 3 sizes too big or shoes 3 sizes too small?

A. There is no way that I would want to wear shoes that are three sizes too small! Can you imagine how much that would hurt? I like baggy clothes, so the pants wouldn't be too bad ;)

Q. Would you rather go into the past and meet your ancestors or go into the future and meet your great-great-grandchildren?

A. I think anyone that knows me knows that I would love to meet my ancestors. I would particularly like to meet my maternal grandpa and my paternal grandma. They both died when my parents were still teenagers. I don't know much about my dad's mom, but from what I've heard about my mom's dad, he would be super fun to get to know.

Q. Would you rather lose your ability to speak or the ability to hear?

A. I would rather lose my ability to hear. I get overwhelmed by noises a lot of the time. I'm not saying that I would be happy to lose my hearing; but out of all of my senses, I think that would be the one I would least mind losing.

Q. Would you rather experience the world beginning or ending?

A. I definitely think the beginning would be better. Not to get too dark during a light-hearted game of "Would You Rather...?", but it's sad to see how terrible people are to each other now in comparison with just a few years ago; if it continues to get worse, I don't want to experience that. Seeing the world beginning would be pretty cool!

Q. Would you rather have more money or more time?

A. I'm assuming this means on a daily basis as opposed to the question about immortality. I would definitely choose to have more time. I don't like feeling overwhelmed (as I do now) and I wish that I could do everything at a leisurely pace. Feeling rushed is stressful! (Of course, money can be stressful, too. If we were struggling financially, then I'd choose to have more money so we could live comfortably.

Q. Would you rather only be able to whisper or only be able to shout?

A. Haha! I can't imagine shouting everything. I like quiet. I would choose to only be able to whisper. It wouldn't be ideal, because then I'd be even quieter than I already am, but it would be better than shouting!

And to end with a silly one...

Q. Would you rather be without elbows or without knees?

A. Imagining either of this is hilarious. I think it would be much more of a struggle to be without elbows--you wouldn't be able to touch your upper body at all (let alone eat). Walking without knees would look silly, but it can definitely be done (that's pretty much how I walk when I'm super stiff in the mornings, hahaha).

Okay, I'm going to write out a "to do" list right now for tomorrow. Writing it out and then (hopefully) checking it off throughout the day will help me to feel less overwhelmed. Also, I love writing lists!

1 comment:

  1. I love this and, as always, your transparency about what's going on. I too experience "mixed states." I sometimes call them "dark mania" as opposed to the "light mania" (mine is also hypomania - bpII) most people think about when they think of mania. Sending good vibes that you get through this quickly.


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