A Candid Discussion of Excess Skin (post weight loss)

When I had my lower body lift in 2011, I was thrilled with the results of my surgery.

The excess skin was very uncomfortable and I felt so discouraged that I would have to live that way for the rest of my life. I hated the fact that I "ruined" my body with so many years of overeating.

When Caitlin was here recently, we had a conversation about our excess skin (something that many people who have lost a lot of weight tend to have in common). We both said we wished more than anything that we could go back in time and take care of ourselves.

When we were overeating, we never thought about the long term consequences. One you've been overweight as long as we were, some of the damage is permanent. (Of course, there are people whose skin snaps back with no problems, but from my experience, that is not the norm.)

A lot of it depends on factors like how long one was overweight, just how much excess weight that person carried, how quickly the weight was gained, how quickly the weight was lost, etc.

I remember being very young (probably junior high school?) when I first noticed stretch marks. They were light red streaks on my upper arms, and I had no idea what they were. I was hanging out with a friend, and she noticed them. I told her I had no clue what it was, and she said that it was no big deal--she had them on her inner thighs.

I came to the conclusion that everybody had those "things', and I didn't think much of it. Within the next couple of years, I learned that they were stretch marks, and that they were undesirable. I immediately became embarrassed that my body betrayed me like that. Why did I get stretch marks, when none of my other friends had them (well, other than the one who showed me the ones on her thighs)?

When I was 16, I went on a trip to Washington D.C. with several people from my junior class. I met a boy there who I really liked, and after a fun day exploring the city, he kissed me when we got back to the hotel. We were sitting on some steps, talking, when he noticed my arm.

He asked what had happened, and I quickly thought up a lie--I told him that I had gotten boiling water spilled on me years ago. He accepted that answer, and I felt embarrassed. I knew that one day, he'd figure out what stretch marks are, and he'd know that the girl he kissed in Washington D.C. had them on her upper arms.

I became self-conscious of my arms after that, and I covered my them whenever possible. I started getting them on my inner thighs, too. At the time, I still didn't know that they were being caused from weight gain. I was so worried that they'd just keep "growing" everywhere.

They became really bad in college. I started getting them on my hips, sides, and abdomen. These ones were bright red, and thicker than the ones on my arms and thighs. I had gained quite a bit of weight my freshman year of college--from what I recall, I think I went from about 180 to 205 pounds.

When I got pregnant, I gained weight very quickly, and my stretch marks became even worse. With Eli, I gained 90 pounds! The stretch marks on my abdomen went all the way up to my rib cage.

A few years later, when I finally got my act together and started losing the weight, the stretch marks got smaller and more faded, but they were still very noticeable. When gaining weight like I did, the skin literally stretches until it can't anymore, and it pulls too far--causing the skin to thin out in just that stretch mark line.

The best analogy I can think of is one of those nylon hair ties. They have elastic in them, and they are covered with a stretchy fabric. For those of you that wear them, you know that when they get stretched too far, the elastic inside can break, leaving a small spot that is thinner than the rest of it and has lost it's elasticity.

That's what stretch marks are like--the skin gets to the point of stretching until there is no elasticity left. That's what I meant when I said I'd "ruined" my body--no amount of weight loss, exercising, expensive creams, etc, will remove the marks, because that skin has been damaged.

Anyway, on to my point of excess skin. Skin is very elastic, when you think about it. It can accommodate people up to 1,000 pounds or more. But, not without causing permanent damage.

When you blow up a balloon really big, and then let it deflate, it doesn't return to its original size or tight shape. If you blow up a balloon and leave it like that for several days, and then deflate it, it looks even worse. That's the best way I can describe excess skin. It used to be full, and then when it "deflates", the skin is still the same size it was when it was stretched--but since the inside of your body is much smaller, the skin hangs there, looking kind of "baggy".

This can cause all sorts of problems, and not just cosmetic ones. The "apron" of skin over someone's abdomen, for example, can cause rashes and yeast infections in that fold. Running was difficult before my skin removal surgery on my abdomen--my skin would bounce up and down, which was painful. (Think about running without a bra--that's what it felt like on my abdomen.)

My solution was to wear very tight spandex bottoms to hold my skin in place. That certainly helped with the bouncing; but then, by having my skin pressed together in a fold, and sweating from the run, I got chafing and rashes. By running, I was trying to do something good for my body, but I just couldn't win. (Again, I felt terrible that I "ruined" my body, and there was no going back.)

This photo was before I had the skin removal on my abdomen. You can see how I had to tuck in the skin to fit into very tight spandex to hold it in place.

I've gotten several comments and emails about how I don't look like I have loose skin. Well, flattering camera angles and clothing can hide that. But catch me from the right angle, or God forbid, naked, you will avert your eyes and not mention it again. Hahaha!

You may notice that I never run in shorts. The photo below was the only time I tried, and I asked Jerry to take a video, because I was curious if the skin on my thighs looked as bad as it felt. This is to show that there are certain angles that are more flattering than others, which is why people who read my blog may think I don't have loose skin. Of course I'm going to show the more flattering pictures on my blog!

So, to keep the blog honest and real, I'm showing you a comparison of an unflattering pic versus a more flattering one. (These are poor quality because they are screen shots of a video.)

(By the way, I never photoshop pictures of myself to make myself look better. I do use it sometimes to make goofy photos like the header of this post, though! But I want to be "real", so what you see is what you get.)

After I lost 125 pounds, people were naturally very curious about my weight loss. I was asked questions all the time--by friends, family, acquaintances, and even total strangers. When I was losing weight, I never imagined that talking about loose skin would be as painful as it was.

The first question I was asked was, "How did you lose the weight?" and the second was, "Do you have lots of loose (saggy/baggy/deflated/you name it) skin now?" I hate this question with a passion. Unfortunately, people asked me this ALL the time.

I spent the majority of my life (about 25 years) feeling incredibly self-conscious about my body. I was teased in school for being fat. I hated having people look at me, and I always assumed people were thinking about how fat I was. I hated myself; I hated my looks.

Fast forward to age 28, when I had lost 125 pounds. I felt amazing and I loved the way I looked--until I started getting e-mail after e-mail asking me if I have loose skin.

YES, I have loose skin. NO, it's not pretty. Do I need reminding of how grotesque it is day after day? No. (I've had people tell me that they don't want to lose weight because excess skin is gross. Gee, thanks!)

I know that when people ask me this question, they aren't calling me ugly, or saying I look gross--they are just asking out of curiosity. I get it. I was curious before I lost the weight, too.

But please keep in mind that it's a very sensitive question for someone like me who spent the majority of my life being self-conscious. That's why it irritates me so much when a complete stranger asks me about saggy skin when we've never even had a conversation before. If a friend asks, I have no problem talking about my loose skin--because that person cares more about me than about my weight loss and all the flaws on my body.

When the first thing someone asks me after learning of my weight loss is if I have loose skin, it's like saying that all the hard work I did doesn't matter; that losing 125 pounds means nothing if I have loose skin; that I might as well not have lost the weight since my skin is saggy now.

I so badly want to put to rest all of the bad thoughts I have about my body and learn to truly love my body--but it's hard to do so when people remind me that I have "gross saggy skin".

This photo is after I'd lost 118 pounds. You can see how loose the skin is on my upper arms--"bat wings", as people like to refer to this problem area. (Stephanie was setting up her camera to get a photo of the two of us together, and she told me to "look like you're putting your arm around me". Hahaha! I like to tell people it's my imaginary friend ;) )

I hate that when I wave to someone, my loose skin is about half a second behind my arm, hahaha.

All of that said, YES--I have saggy upper arms, saggy inner thighs, deflated boobs (which were never big to begin with), a saggy butt, and a stomach that looked like a deflated balloon (I had the abdominal skin removed in 2011, which I'll share about below).

This is a picture of the skin on my inner thigh. I was lying on my right side (hip on left, knee to the right, so the skin was sagging down). I took this picture to "prove it" (that I had loose skin) a few years ago, but now I realize how stupid that is--I have nothing to prove to anyone! Still, here it is. The picture is a little disorienting, because I was lying on my side in bed, with my other leg tucked underneath, so that you could see the saggy skin.

I was terrified at the thought of having surgery. However, when I broke my jaw in 2010, and surgery was inevitable to fix my jaw, I wasn't afraid of it anymore. (I'm sure the IV of dilaudid helped! hahaha.) I decided to schedule a consult with a plastic surgeon. I'd had no idea at the time, but she told me that my insurance would likely cover a large portion of the surgery. I was shocked.

After some stuff to work out with the insurance company, I scheduled my appointment for pre-op; and then for surgery on November 14, 2011. My surgeon said I would have fantastic results--1) Because I was at a "normal" weight and I wasn't doing the surgery to try to be smaller or lose weight; 2) Because I'd kept the weight off for over a year; and 3) I was running a lot, and in good shape underneath the skin.

Needless to say, I am THRILLED with the results of the surgery, even five years later (I wrote an update of the surgery with current pictures here).

Believe it or not, I could button and zip those jeans before surgery. It just took a lot of stuffing my skin into them. It felt different than trying to wear jeans that were too small.

Over the last several years, I've noticed more and more the toll that the excess skin has taken on my upper arms and my inner thighs. I really don't want surgery for these. But they are hindering things that I'm afraid will only get worse over time.

I will write more about this later, because this post is already long enough. Recently, though, I contacted my plastic surgeon to ask about having a consult. I have in no way made a decision to have more surgery (and I'm thinking that I probably will decide not to--the recovery for legs is terrible, from what a few of my friends who have had the surgery told me).

The consult will only be to see my doctor thinks it's a good option for me, based on the issues I'm having.

If I do choose to go through with surgery, I would likely plan for next winter (maybe November or December) so that my healing time won't be so miserable. We don't tend to do much in the winter months.

I want to make sure my weight stays pretty stable this year, too. I'd like to stay under 144, which is at the top of a normal BMI range for me. (Also, our debt will be paid off and we will be able to save up for the surgery.) Jerry is super supportive of me getting it--he's been mentioning it for a few years now, when he hears me complain about the skin for various reasons.)

Anyway, this turned into a very long-winded post! If anyone has questions about loose skin, I'd be happy to open up and answer them here. (If they are too personal, I will say so, but for the most part, I'm pretty candid about it now. So, ask away!)

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Weight Loss Wednesday: Did Skin Removal Surgery Live Up to My Expectations?

Yesterday (well, Tuesday, since I'm posting this a day late!) marked the six-year anniversary of my lower body lift (excess skin removal after weight loss). If you're not familiar, and want to read more, here is a page with all the info and posts where I documented the process. In June, I posted an update with new photos and all that, so I won't get into that again now (here is the link to that post).

Instead, I thought I would share about the things that changed as well as the things that didn't change after having the surgery. Before going into something this huge, we obviously have expectations. So, did the surgery live up to mine?

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Cosmetic Expectations     

I would like to say that the main reason I wanted the surgery was entirely because of the problems that come along with loose skin (rashes, inconveniently having to "tuck" your skin into your clothes, etc.). But honestly, my main motivation for the surgery was to feel better about how my skin looked.

Being overweight my whole life, I had never had a flat stomach; and even after I was in really good shape, I had a large drape of skin covering my tight-under-there-somewhere abdomen. I hated the way it looked; and even though I knew I'd have a scar, and my stretch marks were still going to be visible, I just wanted to get rid of the skin.

After the surgery, my abdomen looks pretty flat (when my weight is at goal). The skin is still slightly loose, but the only way to correct that would have been to have a vertical incision down my midline, and I knew I didn't want that.

The lower body lift doesn't do anything to fix the inner thighs, which is why I have so much loose skin there (it's worse than it looks in the photo). But I knew going into the surgery that my thighs wouldn't change, so I won't even get into that here.

One other thing that hadn't crossed my mind before surgery was that I might look asymmetrical after the surgery. I had a lower body lift, but I didn't have an upper body lift. So, I still have lots of loose skin up there--my arms, of course, but also underneath my armpits and across my back. My upper body looks a little bigger than my lower body now. And the sizes might be a little off, too. I wear size 4 jeans, but typically a size 6 on top.

Overall, though, I am thrilled with the results! I don't feel comfortable enough to bare my belly in public (I still have stretch marks and loose skin in other areas). One of the expectations that I had hoped for was to be able to wear a bikini in public. I actually did do this when we went to Punta Cana. I wasn't even at my goal weight at the time! But I adjusted and I felt proud. But my body hasn't seen a bikini since--maybe I'll do it again one day, when I'm feeling brave. Or in a whole other country where I know no one. (Here is the post about my bikini wearing experience).

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Comfort Expectations     

The secondary reason I wanted the surgery was because the excess skin was very uncomfortable. I had to tuck it into my pants, and then it made my pants look weird in front. And running? Ugh. Running with excess skin on my abdomen can only be described like running without a bra--can you imagine running with boobs just flapping everywhere? (Haha! That visual...)

Because of this, I had to wear very tight spandex bottoms--either capris or running tights. The spandex held everything tight against me, so it wouldn't bounce (kind of like a sports bra, only for my abdomen). The spandex wasn't very attractive with my skin crammed in there, so a lot of times, I would wear something else over it. And that was hot in the summer!

You can see in this picture all of the skin in front that I had to squeeze in there, from hip to hip.

Speaking of summer, getting sweaty when loose skin compacted in spandex is basically a rash waiting to happen. I did get rashes both under the "apron" of skin as well as in my belly button. I actually used Destin (baby rash cream!) to make it feel better. The surgery resolved this entire problem. I can wear whatever I'd like to run in, except for shorts--see the "Clothing Expectations" below.

My expectations were high as far as comfort goes. I just wanted to stop getting rashes, stop feeling the skin bounce around when running, and stop having to tuck my skin into my clothes. The only reason I give this 4.5 out of 5 starts is the minor downside to the comfort factor: I still have areas of numbness, particularly on my hips. My abdomen feels fine, back and butt feel good. It's just the outer part of my hips that feel mildly numb. A small trade-off, though, in comparison.

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Clothing Expectations     

The lower body lift is just to remove the excess skin from the abdomen and backside. Because I wasn't having the excess skin on my legs removed, my expectations were only for that of my hips, butt, and thighs.

(If you picture the surgeon cutting an incision all the way around your mid-abdomen, and another circumferential incision on your very low abdomen, you would be left with a belt of skin in the middle. The surgeon removes that belt, and then pulls the top skin down and the bottom skin up until they meet together, and that's where the incisions are glued together.)

Side Note: I knew I still wouldn't be able to wear shorts after this surgery. My expectations were solely for the abdomen. Shorts have always been a problem for me. When I was obese, my thighs rubbed together so much that I would chafe very easily. When I lost the weight, I was left with lots of loose skin on my legs, particularly on my upper inner thighs.

Even if the cosmetic part of my loose thigh skin didn't bother me, running (or even walking) in shorts is extremely uncomfortable! My thigh skin bounces all over the place (again, think of running without a bra). So, shorts are not an option for me. I can wear longer shorts (about knee length) or capris, but nothing much shorter than that. (I chose not to have the thigh surgery for a few reasons, but who knows?--possibly in the future)

After my lower body lift surgery, when getting dressed I still have to do a little adjusting in the thigh area. Usually, when jeans fit my thighs, they are too big in the waist. And when they fit my waist, they are too small in the thighs. I've found that when I wear low-rise pants, I am constantly tugging at them to stay up, even though the hips and waist are fine. So, now I prefer mid-rise pants.

These jeans were the first I wanted to wear after surgery. I LOVED them, but it was hard to tuck my skin in there, so I had a big muffin top. Same with the shirt--I couldn't wear it without my loose skin showing. I was thrilled when I could wear these!

(I actually just learned a technique for taking in the waist of jeans just slightly, so I'm going to practice on a few pairs and hopefully that will help solve it as well.)

I mention this so that others are aware that their clothes may fit differently afterward, even if it's not directly related to the part that is operated on (like my thighs). My thighs are now what give me problems picking out pants, especially low-rise jeans.

Still, though, every time I put on a pair of jeans, feel kind of amazed that I don't have to tuck my abdomen in, or have problems with it spilling out. Even when I was 253 pounds, I was always trying to move things around in my clothes to be more comfortable. My jeans button and zip nicely now! I am grateful for the surgery every time I put on a pair of jeans.

A lot of people ask me if my clothing sized changed. Interestingly (or not), my size was the same. I just didn't have to squeeze the loose skin in there ;)

Clothing expectations were met, except for the one thing that I hadn't thought of, which I explained above. I didn't realize the loose skin in my thighs would make it difficult to find jeans that fit well once I got rid of the loose abdomen skin. So, 4 out of 5 stars.

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Sexy Time Expectations     

(Mom, skip this part, if you're reading--haha). This aspect of surgery was never even on my radar for expectations. Jerry has always thought I look beautiful and hot and I wasn't concerned about anything in this department. But things changed!

Before surgery, I never ever ever felt sexy in lingerie. I either had fat everywhere or loose skin everywhere, and I resented it. Even though Jerry would have loved for me to wear cute lingerie, I just didn't want to because I felt uncomfortable with all of the abdominal skin.

After surgery, I went out and bought something sexy from Victoria's Secret, and I felt amazing in it! I wasn't self conscious at all. I bought probably 6-8 more outfits over the years, and I love how they can change my mood and make me feel confident and, well, sexy.

The best I ever felt was when I did my boudoir photo shoot. I can't even describe how boosting that was for myself self-confidence! I didn't want my pictures photoshopped to make me looking thinner or remove my stretch marks, or anything like that; so the photographer just posed me in very flattering ways. And I was amazed at how good they turned out! (I wasn't even at my goal weight--I think I weighed 140 on this day). Here is one of my favorites:

Photo by the amazing Catherine Kellie in Birmingham, MI

If I hadn't had the surgery, I never would have considered getting a boudoir shoot. BUT, having had one, I still highly recommend that most women get a boudoir shoot, no matter their size, shape, age, scars, stretch marks, etc. The photographers use little tricks to pose us in ways that are most flattering for us as individuals. If you look closely, you can see the stretch marks on my abdomen, but the color of the photo keeps them from being very prominent. This pose would not have made me feel nearly as good if I had done this prior to my surgery.

Now I'm straying from the point, like I tend to do!

I think the biggest thing that the surgery helped out as far as a sexual way is that I just feel a million times more confident. I know there are women who rock sexy outfits when they are overweight, but I just didn't have the confidence for that.

And Jerry's "sexy time" rating?     Hahaha! Of course.

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And the big question.... would I have had the surgery again if I could go back in time. YES. A thousand times, YES.

So there you have it! I am overall a very, very happy girl with the results of my surgery. I think I had pretty realistic expectations going into it. I had maintained my 100+ pound weight loss for a year, and my surgeon knew I'd have fantastic results.

She said a lot of women go in when they are still overweight, hoping that the surgery will make them thin. It doesn't work that way. Being at a goal/target weight for a year is ideal for the best results. (I have several posts dedicated to discussing the whole lower body lift surgery process, start to finish, so you can check it out if you are thinking about having the surgery.)

Anyone else have the surgery, and want to share how it went? Or other skin removal procedures? Did everything go according to your expectations?

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ETA: Oops, I forgot to post my Wednesday Weigh-in!

Still maintaining :)

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Lower Body Lift Update! (5 years post-op)

I've been meaning to do this post for, oh, about three years now. Haha! Can you believe it's been five and a half years since my lower body lift?

So, I've been wanting to write a quick update and post some updated photos for anyone that's curious how my scars are looking after over five years. I don't think there is a huge difference in the one-year post-op photos and these new photos, but I guess that's a good thing? I am still absolutely thrilled with the results of my surgery, and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat!

As a reminder, or to those that are newer to my blog, after losing 125 pounds in 2009-2010, I was left with a lot of loose skin. I still have a lot of loose skin on my arms and legs, but the worst was my abdomen. I had to stuff my skin into my pants, which was so annoying!

It was very uncomfortable to exercise in any way with the loose skin. I got rashes under the "apron" of skin on my abdomen whenever I would exercise, and the motion of it bouncing when running was comparable to running without a bra--NOT comfortable, to say the least.

So, I asked my insurance company if a tummy tuck would be covered in any way. I was really surprised that I met the criteria for having them cover a huge portion of the surgery I ended up having! I had to have lost 100 or more pounds; kept it off for at least 6 months; and have a problem with rashes from the loose skin.

I did a lot of research to find a surgeon, and the first consult I went to was with Dr. Donna Tepper in the Henry Ford Health System. I instantly liked her and felt very confident with her, so I didn't even go to any other consults. She was very insistent that I would have much better results with a circumferential tummy tuck (also called lower body lift, or belt lipectomy). Basically, they make an incision that goes all the way around your body, instead of hip to hip like a regular tummy tuck. The remove a "belt" of skin, and then pull up the lower half and pull down the upper half to meet at the pubic line, and then stitch it together.

I had lots of stretch marks--from pregnancy, yes, but also from being so overweight for so long. The stretch marks went all the way up past the bottom of my rib cage, so I knew those wouldn't be removed (the ones in the very low abdomen can be removed with the belt of skin). I was okay with having stretch marks if it meant I wouldn't have a large apron of skin on my belly.

I was terrified of the surgery, but my surgeon was super confident that I would have amazing results, and I really trusted her. My surgery went flawlessly, and I followed her post-op instructions right to the letter. I wasn't allowed to sit up or even recline at all for 10 days--I had to either be standing or lying flat. It was a challenge, but I did it! This was to help make sure that I didn't get any openings in the incision line. I didn't have any complications during recovery, which was awesome.

I documented everything in detail, which you can find on my "Plastic Surgery" page (the tab under the header of my blog). For now, here is a five-year post-op update.

I haven't had any problems whatsoever with the results of the surgery. My scar has faded a lot, and I barely even notice it anymore. For the first year or so, my stomach felt kind of numb and very weird (for lack of a better way to describe it). I hated having my stomach touched in any way, like if my cats walked on it or if Jerry touched it while "cuddling" in bed or something.

Now, it feels almost back to normal. I still have mild numbness around my belly button area and just below the hip bones on my sides. It doesn't bother me to touch it at all, but there is a slight lack of sensation there.

As you all know, my weight fluctuates a lot--since surgery, my weight has been as low as 121 pounds and as high as 160 pounds. When I gain weight, I do gain in my stomach--the fat accumulates on each side of and on the top of my belly button. I also get love handles on my sides--those are the first to appear and the last to go when my weight fluctuates.

The only part of my surgery that I would say that I wish was different is that I don't accumulate any fat around my incision line. That may sound like a good thing, but when I gain weight, I gain above the incision line and below, which leaves an indentation where the scar line is. When I'm at around 125-130 pounds, my silhouette is pretty smooth. But any higher than that, and there is an indentation around my hips.

Because of this, I have a hard time finding jeans that fit properly! I like low-rise jeans, but I have a very small butt, and no real hips to hold them up. So, I constantly have to tug at them to keep them from falling down. I don't have this problem with mid-rise jeans, so I prefer those.

I really wish that I didn't have the loose skin on my thighs and arms (my thighs are terrible), but for now, the scar wouldn't be worth it to me. Also, the thigh surgery is very complicated; everyone I know who has had it said it was very difficult to recover from. In the future, however, I may have the surgery because the skin on the insides of my knees rubs together when I walk, and it's getting worse as I get older.

My arms don't look great, either, but again--I don't hate them enough to have the surgery. Here is a photo of me holding Luke, and all I could focus on was the stretch marks and odd looking loose skin.

There is one pretty embarrassing issue with my arms, too! You know how people (pre-teen boys, mostly) make fart noises by cupping their hands under their armpits and lowering their arms quickly? Once in a while, my arm pits make that noise out of nowhere when I just lower my arm quickly! It only happens when I'm wearing a very loose shirt, and I don't think anyone has ever noticed it. But it always surprises me when it happens. Just an odd random tidbit to share, haha.

Anyway, on to the pictures! Since that is probably the only reason you are reading this post ;)  As a refresher, here are a few that led up to today's:

"Before" pictures--you can clearly see in the pic of me bending over all of the loose skin and where my abdomen "should" be.

These are some from the early stages post-op:

I had to wear a compression garment for six weeks

I believe this was on Day 2 post-op. My belly button was still packed with gauze.

This is the incision line across my back (obviously right above my butt). I like that she did the incision very low, so that it doesn't show at all when I wear panties.

I believe these ones were about two weeks post-op. The incision was looking cleaner, but I was very swollen:

And then here are today's photos. My skin looks much better without a camera flash, haha. The above photos were taken with a camera instead of a smart phone (I didn't have a phone yet). And the flash from the camera made my stretch marks stand out big time!

(I was tempted to put a filter on them to make my skin look nicer! But, I don't like using filters because I feel like it's "cheating" or something. So all of these are unfiltered.)

My scar is barely noticeable! Again, I love that the scar is so low that you can't see it at all when wearing panties (I pulled these ones down low so you can see the scar).

This is what I mean when I say that there is no fat that accumulates on my scar line. (Again, I pulled the undies down low so you could see the scar). See how the scar indents a little, giving me the appearance of love handles? But it's still a good trade-off!

So, as you can see, my surgery is holding up well! I am SO glad that I had the surgery when I did, because it makes me feel confident and happy with my body. Also, it's MUCH more comfortable than the loose skin! If anyone is considering it, I would definitely recommend it :)  Here are all of the info and details that I wrote about before and after the surgery.

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Skin Removal Surgery Questions and Answers (2 years post-op)

I get a lot of emails with questions about my lower body lift, and recently, a woman named Andrea sent me a list of questions that she asked me to post about. I had nothing to write about today (it was a very nice rest day!), so I figured I'd answer those questions. Hopefully other people will find this helpful, too!

(For further reference, I have a TON of details on my Skin Removal Surgery page)

Q. How long was it until the swelling was completely gone from your abdomen? Did you  "know" when the swelling was completely gone?

A. Before my surgery, I read a lot about the swelling, and I was expecting the worst. I thought I would going to look like a giant water balloon. But I actually didn't notice it much on a day-to-day basis. I could definitely see that I looked swollen when I compared pictures from one day to the next, but I really just felt a little puffy in my abdomen. There was never a day where I woke up and thought, "Ahhh, relief! The swelling is gone!" I noticed in pictures of my stomach that I looked less puffy. I think the worst of the swelling was on Day 12, and looking at it now, I don't think it was all that bad!

Q. Was it difficult to maintain eating healthy/not gaining weight without the exercise (in that burning calories from running allows one to add calories back into his/her diet)?

A. I actually dropped about 10 pounds after the surgery, which I think is due to the fact that I took my doctor's dietary instructions very seriously. She told me to eat a TON of protein to help my body heal, so I focused on nothing but protein after surgery. I wasn't counting calories or Points, or anything; I just tried to eat as much protein as possible. I didn't limit my carbs at all, but because I was eating so much protein, I probably didn't eat as many carbs as I was used to.

From my experience, I believe that weight loss comes mainly from diet, and very little from exercise. I can train for a marathon and gain 20 pounds (as evidenced while training for my first 26.2!). I wasn't worried about gaining weight due to lack of exercise after surgery, and I focused my diet on healing my body rather than losing weight, so it worked out well :)

Q. Was it easier to notice weight loss (i.e. the last 15 lbs or so you lost post-surgery) after the surgery, because of the lack of excess skin, or did it not really make a difference in that respect?

A. I think the surgery made a huge difference in the last bit of weight loss. My doctor only removed about two and a half pounds of tissue, but after surgery, I think the decrease in size around my abdomen was very noticeable. Even now, when I gain a couple of pounds, I find it very noticeable! I get love handles if my weight gets to 138-ish, but below that, they're gone. It's so weird! Before the surgery, I never would have noticed a weight gain there, because there was so much skin hiding my form.

Q. Did you wear a compression garment and a binder, or was it a single item?

A. It was just a single item, like a huge (very tight) pair of granny panties. There were hooks along the side (like the hooks on a bra) as well as the crotch, so it didn't have to be removed to go to the bathroom. It was actually very comfortable, and I felt weird when I took the compression garment off to shower. Here is a link to the exact one that I had. It was the one my doctor told me to get; different doctors prefer different garments, though.

Q. Do you think that the surgery produced a visible change for people who just see you every day in regular clothes (i.e., should I expect that people who I have not told about the surgery may notice it)?

A. I don't think the change was hugely visible in my clothing, but I always tried to hide the excess skin before my surgery. I didn't wear tight jeans and form-fitting shirts; I could wear tight jeans and a loose sweatshirt, or jeans that would hide my skin and a more form-fitting shirt. After the surgery, I didn't want ANY baggy clothing! I wore tight jeans and fitted shirts, and I still do a lot of the time. But I don't think that people who I saw from time to time would've noticed that I had skin removal surgery. Here is a photo from before surgery and after surgery in the same clothes:

You can see a difference if you're looking for it, but I don't think anyone would have noticed if they hadn't known about my surgery. Without clothes, however, is a completely different story! ;)

Q. How long after the surgery did you start training for your marathon? Did you have any time after you started running when you were just running "for fun," or did you go right into it? 

A. I had the surgery on November 14, 2011, and I "officially" started training for my first marathon on January 16, 2012. I started running again just shy of four weeks after surgery, and I took it very easy for a couple of weeks while I continued to heal from surgery. My doctor actually cleared me to run on Day 8 post-op! But I wasn't much in the mood to run, which I'm sure she expected ;)  By the time I started marathon training, I felt 100% back to my normal self. I still continued to wear my compression garment when I ran, just because I felt more secure, but it wasn't necessary.

Q. About how many post-op appointments did you have in total?

A. I spent one night in the hospital, and my doctor came to see me before I left. Then there was the embarrassing trip to the emergency room about five days post-op. My first "real" post-op appointment was on Day 8, when I had three of my drains removed. My second post-op appointment was on Day 17, when I had the last drain removed (my doctor told me to come in when my drain was producing less than 30 cc's a day).

I had one more post-op visit after six weeks. There was a tiny spot on my incision that needed a minor revision (the skin had folded over slightly as it healed). I went in for an appointment where my doctor fixed that in the office, which only took about 10-15 minutes. I made another appointment for her to check out that spot later, but it healed really well, so I just called her and she said there was no need to come in. That was the last appointment.

Q. Do you remember about how long it was until you stopped feeling any real ab pain, and only felt some soreness, or felt nothing at all?

A. The ab pain was terrible for the first couple of days, but it got much better as the days went on. I can't remember exactly when there was NO muscular soreness, because it continued to get better and better each day, but I think I was pretty much pain-free after a couple of weeks. The worst of it was over after a couple of days post-op, though.

Q. How long was your longest drain in for?

A. I had four drains, two in front (left and right) and two over each hip. I had three of the drains removed on Day 8 post-op, but the last one was in for 17 days! My doctor didn't want to remove it until it was producing less than 30 cc's of drainage per day. I couldn't wait to get that thing out! Even though my body was feeling much better, and I was wanting to try on new clothes and all that, the stupid drain was in the way. I felt much more like myself after the last drain was pulled. And I could sleep on my stomach again! :)

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I'm now a little over two years post-op, and I am still SO SO SO glad that I had the surgery! My scar isn't nearly as bad as I imagined it would be, and across my butt, it's practically invisible. Clothing is much more comfortable, without having to push and poke my skin around to fit into my pants.

Running is more comfortable, because I don't have to worry about the skin bouncing (that used to hurt!). And even though the outward change, while I'm wearing clothing, isn't drastically huge, I feel a million times more confident in how I look. I used to be so self-conscious of my saggy skin, and I hated always trying to hide it. I would do the surgery again in a heartbeat!

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A new toy!

On this Thursday last year, I wrote a post called "'Till I Collapse", after I reached two big milestones during a training run: I ran a sub-26:00 5K, which was a HUGE goal of mine for a long time, and I ran my first sub-8:00 mile. I was so happy and excited!

Since I'm following last year's runs as a sort-of schedule for the next couple of weeks, today was a big day to beat. I wanted to beat my 5K time from last year as well as run the third mile under 8 minutes. I haven't run a sub-8:00 mile outside in a long time! I was actually pretty nervous, even though it was just a training run.

After I got the kids off to school, I dressed in my running clothes and headed out. My plan was to try and stick as closely to my splits from last year as possible, beating them by just a second or two. Last year's splits were 8:31, 8:34, and 7:54.

Because I was nervous, I started out way too fast, which is always a mistake. I caught myself about a quarter mile in, and forced myself to slow down. The first mile wasn't too bad; tough, but I was just thinking about how much tougher it was going to feel during the third mile! My first mile was done in 8:18, so I slowed down some more. I wanted to save as much energy as I could to try and hit sub-8:00 for the third mile.

Second mile was done in 8:29. Perfect! As soon as I heard my Garmin beep after the second mile, I picked up the pace. At first, it really didn't feel as hard as I expected it to. My pace was about 7:45, and I felt good! But that mile felt like the longest mile of my life. It kept feeling harder and harder to hold that pace. When I hit mile 3, I kept running hard to finish off the 0.11. My neighbor was outside, and must have thought I was ridiculous; I flew by him, then stopped in front of my house, gasping for breath. He said "Good morning!" and I could barely give a wave. I was exhausted. But I had done it!

I spent the rest of the morning updating the "Favorite Things" page on my blog (finally). I've been meaning to add some things on there for a long time, and I just hadn't taken the time to get it done. I have a few other pages that I need to update, so I'll hopefully get that done soon.

The kids had asked me to take their allowance money and go buy them a Rainbow Loom and more rubber bands today for their bracelet-making. They've been making SO many bracelets! They haven't even touched the TV or video games this week--I love that they found something creative to do that doesn't involve electronics. So I went to the craft store this afternoon to pick them each up a loom and some of the bands. I ran into Renee, who happened to be there for the exact same things! Her son wanted a loom, too. I think it's so funny that my kids are so excited about making these bracelets. They spent the whole evening like this:

When I got home from the craft store, Jerry told me that I had "very special" package arrive in the mail. It was MY NEW GARMIN!! I tore into the box to check it out, and read the quick start manual. I played around with the watch a little bit, but I won't really get to try out the features until I run tomorrow. I love the orange/white color combo.

I printed out the owner's manual and I'm going to spend some more time looking at it tonight, and getting it set up for tomorrow's run. Tomorrow's post is going to be VERY nerdy! ;)

Today marks the two-year anniversary since my lower body lift surgery. I cannot believe it's been two years already! I am still VERY happy with the results, and I wouldn't change a thing. My scar is very faded, and I haven't had any complications. When I look in the mirror, I still admire that my stomach is flat (well, for the most part... after Halloween, it's a little puffy! haha).

It's kind of interesting... ever since my surgery, the first place I notice a weight gain of even a couple of pounds is in my stomach. I kind of like that, because there is no such thing as being in denial about a few pounds. I can clearly see a gain when it happens, and that's usually what kicks me back into weight loss mode.

Speaking of which, today was day three of staying on track. I'm really determined to get back to 133 before December 12th!

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Liberating!

This morning, I had a five mile easy run on the schedule; however, I planned to run nine miles instead of five (I'll write more about that tomorrow). Since I finished Breaking Bad yesterday, and haven't decided on a show to watch next on the treadmill, I decided to run outside, regardless of the temperature.

It was a VERY humid morning. I headed out fairly early, at 7:00, but it was already really muggy. I just decided to pretend I was running in Key West ;)  I didn't carry water with me, because I usually don't need it for ten miles or less, but since it was so humid, I stuck close to home. I planned to do a six-mile loop and run by my house, stopping for water if needed, and then do a three-mile out-and-back.

It was a GREAT run today. Even though it was humid, causing me to practically drown in sweat, I felt really good. I don't know what planted this idea in my head, but I started thinking about ditching my tank top when I ran past my house, and running in just my sports bra.

I've never, in my entire life, bared my belly in public. I've never worn a bikini (even as a kid, I always wore a two-piece). When I was pregnant, and friends asked to see my belly, I was adamant about saying no. Shortly before I started losing weight, my friend Melissa asked me if I would want to go with her to auditions for The Biggest Loser (couples' edition). I said that I would rather stay fat than let anyone see my stomach.

But once I got the thought in my head, I spent a few miles talking myself into it. I know my belly looks much better than it ever has, thanks to the weight loss and the skin removal surgery. However, I still have stretch marks, and the skin is still loose (the only way to correct that would've be with a vertical incision from my breast bone to my pubic bone, and I didn't want that).

As I ran, I kept thinking about how absolutely terrifying it would be to run in just a sports bra, but how liberating it would feel to get rid of those insecurities. When I was obese, if someone had shown me a picture of my future stomach (what it looks like now), I would have been ECSTATIC with it. I would have said that I'd walk around naked, just to show off my new body! ;) But now that I'm here, in this body, I still have insecurities, although they aren't as bad as before.

So, I asked myself, "What's the absolute worst thing that could happen if you run in just your sports bra?" And the only thing I could come up with is that someone would make a rude comment to me while I was running. Big deal! Sometime over the past few years, I stopped caring so much about what random people thought about me. And I decided to go for it, even though I was super nervous.

At mile six, I stopped at home for a  second to throw my shirt in the house. I didn't want to look in the mirror, because I was afraid I would chicken out. I hesitated at the door to go back outside, but then, before I could change my mind, I opened the door and ran off the porch, down the driveway, and into the street.

I was running... without a shirt. Something I never, in a million years, would have ever thought I'd be doing.

And it was SO liberating! The breeze cooled me off much better than when I had my tank on. When I looked down, I could see the skin on my stomach bouncing a little, but I honestly didn't even care. I had thought that maybe I would just run around my neighborhood, so I wouldn't run into many people/cars; however, I was feeling so good, that I went on a busy road and ran a mile and a half out, turned around, and ran home.

Nobody made comments to me, no cars crashed from my blindingly white skin, and people barely even glanced at me as they drove by. It was awesome!

50 Shades of Pale

I thought it was pretty funny when I looked at my splits. I was trying to run an easy pace (high 9:00's to mid 10:00's). You can see just how nervous I was when I took my tank off, because my pace for that 7th mile was 8:58. When I'm nervous, I always run faster!

It was fun to do something that was so scary for me. I don't look anything like the high school girls that run cross country in their sports bras (who I see out training occasionally), but considering I'm a formerly-obese mother of two, I'm very happy with how I look now, and I'm going to keep working on not feeling self-conscious of my flaws!

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One year later (lower body lift update)

As predicted, I didn't lose any weight this week. I actually expected to see a gain, but I was 137 on the dot again today (same as last week). My body fat and waist size were the same as well, so I didn't bother to do pictures.

Today is the one year anniversary of my lower body lift surgery. I cannot believe it's been a year!! I am still super happy with the results, and would do it again in a heartbeat. A few people have e-mailed me asking for updated photos of my scar, so I had Jerry take some new pictures today. The first is a comparison--it was taken three weeks post-op.

Scar, three weeks post-op

Scar, one year post-op

My scar has faded quite a bit, and it will continue to fade over time. It really kind of blends in with all my stretch marks, and that's what it looks like--a faded stretch mark.

My belly hasn't changed much, except that my hip bones are a little more prominent now:

Three weeks post-op

One year post-op

My belly button scar is still pretty dark, and I don't know if it will fade much more or not. But I actually really like the shape of my belly button. The actual shape is the same as it was before surgery, but now it doesn't have all the skin hanging around it.

I haven't had any problems arise from the surgery. As expected, my scar is still numb, and an inch or so above and below the scar is also numb. It's getting a little more sensation now, though. Right after my surgery, I couldn't stand to touch my abdomen, because it was a very weird sensation. When Jerry would touch my hips, I would spasm and practically punch him, because the feeling was so WEIRD. But now I can handle being touched again. Once in a while I get an itch, but when I scratch, I can't feel the scratching. It's so strange!

I used to not even allow the cats to sit on my lap, because I couldn't stand the feeling of their little paws walking on my belly. But now it's getting more tolerable, especially if I flex my abdominal muscles. I always have a little numbness, but it should still continue to get better for another year or so.

One thing that I wasn't expecting is that my stomach skin is still saggy. When I stand up straight, it doesn't look like it, but when I lean over (or hold plank) my skin hangs a little. The only way the surgeon could have corrected this would have been to make a vertical incision down my abdomen to tighten the skin from both directions--but obviously I did not want that. I wasn't expecting perfection, and I'm very happy with how it looks.

A lot of people have asked me about running after surgery. I was cleared to run just eight days after surgery, but I didn't have any desire to run at that point ;) I waited until 3 weeks and 5 days after surgery to run--and my first run was TOUGH. I felt out of shape from not having run for nearly a month, but I regained my fitness level very fast.

By January, I was training for my first marathon, which I ran in May. So the surgery didn't hold me back from running at all. I did wear my compression garment while running for a while. It kept my belly from bouncing and jarring, and I liked the compressed feeling. But by March, I was fine to run without it. The first few runs felt weird without the compression garment, but I got used to it right away.

Well, I was going to try and write a huge update with all kinds of details, but the truth is, the last year has been completely uneventful as far as the surgery goes--and that's a good thing! I didn't have any complications, everything went as expected, and I've completely recovered. I'm so happy that I had the surgery!

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