Thursday, November 15, 2012

'Till I Collapse

'Cause sometimes you just feel tired,
Feel weak, and when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up.
But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
And just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up
And not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.

--Eminem, 'Till I Collapse



I love these Eminem lyrics. They basically describe my entire weight loss, and now how I feel when I run hard. Especially running the last 8 miles or so of a marathon ;)


And this morning, I somehow "pulled that shit out" and reached two huge milestones during my run--I ran a sub-26:00 5k, and I ran a sub-8:00 mile!

The sub-26:00 5k has been a goal of mine for over two years. When I first started running, and my speed was improving, I made a goal to run a sub-30:00 5k. I reached that goal while I was training for my first 5k race, so I changed my goal. Renee said that she was "absolutely sure" that I was run a sub-26:00 5k at the race (October 2010). That seemed impossible to me, but I did a practice one in about 26:40 ish--can't remember exactly. So I went into the race with the expectation to run it under 26 minutes.

And I finished in 27:17. The race was super crowded, so I wasn't able to run the same speed I did during my practice race. After doing longer distances, I realized that I despised the 5k distance. But I couldn't get that goal of running it under 26 minutes out of my head. The next 5k race I ran was in March 2012, and it definitely wasn't the right race to try for time. It was (again) really crowded. I finished in 26:57.

Because I don't like 5k races, I just haven't tried again since. But now that I've been working on speed again, I've been thinking that I would register for a 5k in a month or two, and do my best to reach that sub-26 goal.

This morning, I had 3 miles at race pace (9:00/mi) on the schedule. I set up my Virtual Racer on my Garmin at that pace, and just decided to do my best to stay ahead of the VR. After the first mile, I saw that I ran it in 8:31. So I figured I could slow down a little, but was kind of excited to see that pace, so just kept with it. Second mile done in 8:34.

I started thinking about how that was really close to my 5k pace, and it would be fun to finish with my fastest time yet. Then I could hear a little voice telling me, "You can hit your sub-26 goal if you push really hard". I decided to unofficially try for it--run hard, and hope that I could manage to run fast enough to make the average pace go down to 8:23/mi. It was HARD, but I kept telling myself that it would be over in about eight minutes.

That last mile had me reach another running milestone--I ran the entire mile in 7:54!! I've never run a mile that fast. I think my fastest up until today was probably about 8:15-8:25. I kept running to finish out the 0.1 in order to hit 5 kilometers rather than just 3 miles, and I finished in 25:44 :)
That was probably my most exciting running moment since I started running over two and a half years ago. It was extremely difficult, especially that last mile, and I really wanted to fall flat on my face and collapse--but I stuck it out, and I'm so happy I did!


I can't cross this off my goal list just yet, since it wasn't a race; but now I'm extremely confident going into a race and reaching for that goal!

After I showered, I rewarded myself with a super yummy breakfast--English muffin with Nutella :)  I put Nutella alone on one half, and Nutella + peanut butter on the other half. Both halves were so good I can't decide which was better.
And that actually brings me to yet another milestone. I finally feel in-control enough to have a whole jar of Nutella in the house. I've been doing really well with the peanut butter and almond butter, but was scared to press my luck with the Nutella. Since I obviously don't want to avoid it forever, I bought a jar to measure out each portion onto my English muffins in the mornings. I didn't binge. :)

Today has been a very confidence-boosting day. I think days like this make all the really tough days worth it. When I was losing weight, I so badly wanted to quit sometimes, because it was exhausting--but then I would have a day where I saw some awesome progress (wear a smaller size, reach a weight milestone, wrap a bath towel ALL the way around me...) And during running, all the runs that I bitched and moaned about and just really didn't want to do, eventually came to a head and I had an amazing run or race and just felt on top of the world.

Days like this are few and far between, but that's what makes them so exciting!


...Until my legs
Give out from underneath me

I will not fall,
I will stand tall,
Feels like no one could beat me. 

--Eminem, 'Till I Collapse 

29 comments:

  1. That is awesome!! Your whole story is so inspiring. I love your honesty about the ups and downs of weight loss and maintenance.

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  2. I am trying to get re-started with my weight loss journey and this post was really inspiring! I am a regular reader, but I just don't comment as much as I should. Thanks for writing, and I love the Eminem lyrics!

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  3. After being stuck in a rut for the past week, I really needed this to get me moving again. Thanks for being an inspiration!

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  4. This post couldn't have come at a better time for me. I reached my goal weight about a month ago and am now struggling to maintain. Today was a rough day and your words were exactly what I needed. Thank you!

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  5. SO proud of you! I saw the Nutella on your english muffin and thought "whoa...no binge?" You are such an inspiration! =)

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  6. Wow, what a great post! You are really an inspiration, Katie!

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  7. awesome! And that song is on my running playlist.. really speaks to me when Im exhausted and facing yet another hill.

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  8. Goes to show how far you've come to have Nutella in the house! I keep thinking that I want to buy it, but I know that I will walk by the cupboard with a spoon about 12 times a day... hah!

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    1. That's me exactly. Once I just ended up keeping a spoon in the jar & the jar on my beds 'side table'
      :(
      Zainab

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  9. I still think Il finish the jar on one day So no jars for now.
    Great post Katie..:)
    Zainab

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  10. I still think Il finish the jar on one day So no jars for now.
    Great post Katie..:)
    Zainab

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  11. I still think Il finish the jar on one day So no jars for now.
    Great post Katie..:)
    Zainab

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  12. SORRY I have no idea why did it get posted thrice.
    BTW, I meant 'in one day' (above post) not on. Typo

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  13. Nice job Speedy. I run with Eminem too. If people listen to his lyrics, he's very inspiring.

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  14. Congratulations! I have a fun 5k coming up in December where the entry fee is an unwrapped toy for charity. My husband and I do this race every year - even though he hates running, he has a great time! My goal is 27 min.

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  15. That is awesome! You need to find yourself a really small race so no one will be in your way. That was how I managed the 26:35 5k in June. There was maybe 200 participants and I decided to just stand toward the front for once! You can do it!

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  16. What an awsome day!!!

    I love that song too, well I just love Eminem. The first and only time I went to Detroit was to see him and Jay-z two years ago.. it was amazing! :)

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  17. Well done you!! That is incredible!! You are extremely inspiring!!

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  18. that's an amazing pace! so impressed!

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  19. It IS a beautiful day isn't it? I'm so excited about my life right now, I could just puke. Yesterday a friend posted on facebook, "I love my life!" And that is JUST HOW I FEEL TODAY!! Life is GOOD!

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  20. Great Job. I just signed up for a winter 3 race series here in Denver. I hope to see some improvements myself. You are inspiring and super fun to read.
    p.s. I HEART Eminem too.
    Sue

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  21. This is one of my favorite blog entries you've posted :) You're kinda oozing positivity and accomplishment today. I LOVE that!! You inspire me Katie. Thank you, thank you and thank you again!

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  22. This is probably the best blog post you've posted. I've been reading you since your OD days :) You inspired me to start running and now I'm training for a 10K (although at a much slower pace haha). I just hit a huge milestone for myself and ran 2.5 miles UNDER a 12:00/mile pace! I've never been able to consistently run that fast. So this gives me confidence that I will be able to hit my next goal of under a 10:00/mile pace.
    P.S. THAT IS MY FAVORITE RUNNING SONG EVER!!

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  23. Love that song too! I'm going to get 'Til I Collapse on my new roadID.

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  24. Wow great job! I really enjoy reading your blog. You have inspired me to start running in Aug. and I will complete my first 5k race in 2 weeks. I wish I could improve on my time but with my busy schedule it's really hard to get out every day and run! Thanks for sharing your story, and please don't ever stop writing these blogs. YOU ROCK!!!

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  25. What an awesome, awesome blog! So happy for you. This reminded me of when I use to run. I loved it. I hope to get back to it as soon as my Plantar Fasciitis is completely healed. Injuries seem to happen to me whether I'm exercising or not. ugh!
    Anyway, very inspiring blog! Thanks for sharing. You're doing awesome!

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  26. I went running today and had set my mind on anything under 26 minutes. I wanted to quit halfway through, but I kept thinking of you and this post. I ran like crazy and finished in 25:37. My fastest 5k so far! Oh, the feeling afterwards; it felt so good. So worth the pain! Thank you for being so amazingly inspiring. Keep up the good work!

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  27. This is my favorite song by Eminem. being a Michigan native and also going through the same struggles as you made me smile. When i am having a bad day and need something to pump me up, this is the song.

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