April 07, 2021

Where To Go From Here...

I used to do Wednesday Weigh-ins, back when I was focused on losing weight/maintaining weight. I haven't really focused on it for a long time and I've been debating with myself about where to go from here (as far as my weight is concerned, I mean).

I'm not happy with my body right now--I am just not comfortable at this size. I will be completely fine if I never get back down to my "goal weight" again, but I really would like to feel comfortable in my own skin. That would probably be at or under about 150 pounds.

However, I don't feel that burning determination to do what it takes to get my weight back down, either. This past year hasn't been good for my mentality regarding my weight--I guess I just felt like since I'm not going to be seeing anyone, it doesn't really matter what I look like anymore. I started wearing stretchy pants and baggy shirts for comfort. And since it feels like this pandemic is never going to end (Michigan's numbers are terrible right now as far as COVID cases) I just can't get motivated to put in a lot of effort to losing the extra weight.

(I think this meme is hilarious!)

I'm not trying to whine about my weight or ask for advice. I'm just writing my thoughts as they come to me. The last few days, I've really been thinking about how I need to take action. I need to either just stop worrying about my weight or do something about it. I feel like I'm at a brand new place in my weight loss journey and I have no sense of direction.

I've been half-heartedly doing intermittent fasting, but not so much for weight loss as for convenience. It's nice not to have to think about, plan, or shop for breakfast and lunch. I eat a good meal for dinner, but then I wind up snacking a lot throughout the evening (I've been eating a ton of pretzels lately). I still haven't binged, though. It's been a very long time since I did that.

I've been doing great with drinking water--I drink a gallon a day, every day. I told myself that I cannot turn on my ice maker (I'm an ice chewer and it's addicting!) until I've had 3 quarts of water. The ice maker can start making ice while I'm drinking my fourth quart. And then I can chew ice only after I've had all of my water for the day. 

Regardless of my weight or my diet, I really want to start exercising again. I actually miss it! My knee is still making crunchy noises when I squat, but it doesn't hurt. I think I'm going to try getting back to doing the Couch to 5K plan and see if I can do it without pain. I want to do it before I lose the desire to, haha.

Since I'm not in a huge hurry to lose the weight, I think I'm going to work on making small changes and build on them gradually. Since nighttime snacking has been my biggest problem lately, I'll try cutting off snacks at 9 pm. After a couple of weeks, I can try 8:30. A couple more weeks, 8:00... etc. If I don't see any changes in my weight from doing that, then I'll have to reassess.

I really think that if I cut out the nighttime snacking, though, my weight will start dropping. I stay very busy during the day so it's easy to stay away from the kitchen; nighttime is when I relax with my book or Best Fiends and/or TV, and it's become a habit to snack.

I only just now decided this... (like I said, I am just writing out my thoughts as they come) but I am going to set a goal to stop eating by 9:00 all week and then I'll report back next Wednesday. Focusing on one small thing will make me feel like I'm at least taking action, but it won't be overwhelming.

The weather has been so nice here the past few days! My mood feels good--now I just want my body to feel good, too ;)


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  2. This beautiful weather does wonders for the mood doesn't it?! You just have to do what you feel is best for your body! I think setting a small goal like you did is perfect!

  3. I think I will be back in the office for Fall, providing variants get under control and where I live gets their act together as far as vaccinations go. Presently, vaccinations are only open to people 62 years and older. I am in my 40's- so I think I likely won't be eligible until mid summer??

    With Fall in mind, I started to pay attention to my weight at the start of March. I am doing fine, averaging about a pound a week. I will take that. I just couldn't stand the thought of going back to work and being larger than when I left. Its completely vain, but that's what is working for me.

  4. I hear ya! I feel like I'm on a whole new journey as well and I just need to take small steps to achieve a healthy body. I backpacked through Maine last August and lost a bit of weight and I loved my new body! But since I'm not hiking 10 miles a day anymore, the weight came back. Now I just need to do it in a way that fits with my current lifestyle.

    Good luck! :-)

  5. I feel like I could have written your post, I am in the exact same spot. Even the IF...I skip breakfast and lunch and eat dinner around 4:30, but I snack all evening. I have been wanting to do a biggest loser type challenge. I feel like I need the accountability of a weigh in to stay motivated. I know this day in age, the trend is to not get caught up on the number, and body positivity, but dammit that number matters. So far I haven't found any challenges to join where you have the accountability I'm looking for, so if you want to start one....;-)

  6. Sounds like a great place to start. All I do is worry about my horrible weight gain and I do nothing about it. Maybe I will can take a tip from you—Start slowly! That worked for me in 2009-2010.

  7. Think about “your future self”. I heard that term on Gretchen Rubin’s Happier podcast. I’m a SAHM and so with Covid I am not volunteering and going out as much as I did pre Covid but I want to be the strongest, fittest I can for my future self. Even though i am not seeing anyone but my family. I want to be around for my kids future whatever that will be. There is so many interesting articles about longevity. And so many easy things we can do on a daily basis. I just turned 50 so I spend a few days a week working on yoga and balance especially. It is good for me and for my brain. My son had cancer (he’s fine) but after that we decided to eat as clean as we can since we have a lot of family history of cancer.

    So try not to use the excuse you aren’t seeing anyone so it doesn’t matter what you look like. Pre Covid I did boot camp with 60 and even a 70 year old!!

    I think when we can change the way we think about something and put it in a new light it can help us focus on our goals.

  8. As always, I love your transparency and honesty. I often use small goals (well, they're BIG until they're done) to achieve things. And I too have fallen victim to the lure of the night-time snacking. I'm not ready to commit yet, but will watch to see how it works for you. Thanks for continuing to inspire us.

  9. I could have written this exact post myself. I have been gaining and losing the same 20 pounds the past 15 years. March of last year I was in amazing shape and I just kinda went down a slippery slope. I am so uncomfortable in my body but the motivation to yet again lose weight is just annoying and I'm tired of it. 150 is my happy weight and I know it. Like you I know I will never get to my "goal" weight again which is 135. I'm okay with that. I'm just tired! Just want to commiserate and know you are not a lone. I just keep saying baby steps. Thank you for this post.

  10. The weather absolutely plays a role in how we feel. Glad to see your still doing the water. I started it this month and haven’t missed a day, I find it helps me with my cravings. The cut off time for snacks should help.

  11. Hilarious Meme, and that is exactly what has happened to me since the start of covid! Mad at myself, but that's not helpful, just need to do something about it.


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