April 25, 2021

Affirmators! Week 11: Confidence

First, I want to post the winner of the giveaway for the book, 'The Evening and the Morning' by Ken Follett. That was my April pick for the Friends-themed read-athon, and I loved it so much, I wanted to buy a Kindle copy to give away! Soooo, I used Random.org to select a winner, and that is: Tara L. :)  Tara, I've sent you an email to confirm that you still want the book. I'll do another giveaway next month, if I like the book!

I am in a terrible mood right now--it's almost laughable, because I am very aware that I'm being a big baby. So, I write this in a bad mood, hosting the self-pity party, but knowing that it's kind of ridiculous and I need to just get over it.

On to the Affirmators! for the week. [Affirmators! are cards with positive affirmations written on them. My friend John sent me a deck of them and I've been drawing one from the deck each Sunday. I hang it on my bathroom mirror to keep it in the front of my mind and try to work on that topic through the week. That's what this Affirmators! post series is about. The introspection on these weekly posts has gotten surprisingly deep!]

Last week was about clarity and listening to my intuition. I didn't think about that much throughout the week because it's something I've always been pretty good at, actually. The last few cards haven't really spoken to me as much as the ones prior. But today's is kind of funny, because it's pretty perfect for my bad mood:


In this moment, I take a step back and look at myself with the pride of a good mother. I see an abundance of abilities and talents that show up all the time in big and little ways. If I could stick myself on a refrigerator, I would. I would invite all the neighbors over and say, "Look at that. Can you believe what an A+ that is?"

Which leads me to the reason I'm in such a bad mood. As I mentioned on Friday, I splurged on a piece of plywood (yes, "splurged"--a year ago, a sheet of plywood was like $20-30, and now it's $60-70!). I drew up a plan to make a workbench that had a specific cutout section for my table saw--it would give me more space around it, making it easier to cut larger pieces of wood.

I watched a ton of YouTube videos of others' workbenches that have the same concept, and I drew out plans for mine. I was meticulous at measuring everything out and sketching it onto the plywood (I certainly didn't want to screw that up, because it would be an expensive mistake).

I worked on it yesterday and ran into several problems. I decided to sleep on it and look at it again today. This morning, things were going great--I built the frame and added the supports. The plywood fits perfectly how I wanted it to. But I'm stuck now. I won't go into the boring details, but I don't think my design is going to work. And I discovered this AFTER I'd made the cutout for the saw.

I walked around the table for an hour this evening, studying it and measuring and trying to figure out a way to make it work. And I lost all confidence. Which is why this Affirmators! card is ironic--and kind of perfect.

If I ignore what's going on right now, I can look at all of the stuff I've made and projects I've done over the years with pride--I'm always getting better at things (the things I make are certainly not perfect, but I'm learning and getting better, and it's a never-ending process that I actually enjoy). And I am pretty proud of a lot of the things I've made or projects I've completed!

But this workbench has me so frustrated and feeling like I wasted a valuable sheet of plywood--not to mention a lot of time and effort. (It's not ruined yet--but you know how when you run into problems sometimes, you tend to think catastrophically? For example, "Oh, I burned these brownies for the very important bake sale? I'm never baking again; I'm terrible at it!").

Speaking of, a reader sent me this screenshot and I think it's hilarious! (and oh, so accurate)

I'm sure that tomorrow, I'll feel better about the whole thing (and hopefully have a fresh idea for salvaging this design). I'm just feeling total lack of confidence in my abilities at the moment!

As far as this Affirmators! card goes, I think it's a good one to keep in the front of my mind. I am very hard on myself sometimes (well, a lot of the time) and my confidence wavers to the extreme. I really should try to focus on the things that I *am* confident in. It's hard to force myself to think that way, so maybe in my "Some Lines A Day" journal (Amazon affiliate link) this week, I'll list some of the things that I'm proud of--things that make me feel confident.

And hopefully, tomorrow I'll wake up in a better mood ;)


  1. I hope your project goes better now after taking a break from it! The price of lumber is so insane right now. My husband works at Home Depot and is always filling me in. Especially since we have some woodworking projects we want to get done but it'll cost us double what it would normally! So frustrating!

  2. I have been woodworking since I was a kid (my Dad was a professional carpenter) and you amaze me! You have picked it up so well!! I love your projects! And I am feeling you about wood prices!!

  3. I'm sorry you're in a funk. You're such a force and so creative. Hope tomorrow brings more smiles.


I used to publish ALL comments (even the mean ones) but I recently chose not to publish those. I always welcome constructive comments/criticism, but there is no need for unnecessary rudeness/hate. But please--I love reading what you have to say! (This comment form is super finicky, so I apologize if you're unable to comment)

Featured Posts

Blog Archive