November 08, 2020

What I Am Most Grateful For (a writing prompt)


I mentioned recently that I wanted to start a gratitude journal this month. While I haven't actually started one yet, I thought this would be a good prompt to start off this month of gratitude.

What am I most grateful for?

I will forewarn you that this post is going to be incredibly cheesy and will make you cringe on so many levels. When writing about gratitude, it's hard NOT to get cheesy. However, this will top the cake. Don't say I didn't warn you!

There is no question about the one thing I am most grateful for in my life--and that would be Jerry. Yes, my kids are up there and most people would say that they should be number one, but without Jerry, they wouldn't exist--therefore, Jerry is my number one.


We've been together since May of 1999--over 21 years!--and I don't feel I could be any luckier with a spouse. I'm not going to pretend that our relationship is perfect, because we certainly have our moments. But as far as marriages go, ours is pretty damn close to being ideal. I've been told by many friends that our relationship is enviable.




Jerry has always loved me no matter what I've looked like or what "crazy" state of mind I've been in. Honestly, I don't know how he does it! If I was him, I'd have left a long time ago. I am a VERY difficult person to live with but he is so patient with me that it seems unreal.

Starting from the very month we began dating, he has done "little things" to make me feel special--leaving Cherry 7-Up in my car while I was at work, buying me ugly gas station flowers as a joke, drawing me goofy pictures of us, leaving me little notes in my car or dorm room at college. When we had the kids, he was the one to get up and feed them in the middle of the night, and never once complained or even questioned changing dirty diapers. (Here is a post I wrote with more detail about the earlier days--"This Is Why I Married Him")




These days, he does laundry or dishes if he sees that they need to be done and I haven't gotten around to them. When I was working so hard on the garage, he did pretty much all of the housework because I was spending so much time in the garage.

He is always pushing me to buy the things I have on my "wish list"--like a wood planer and a jointer. I just can't bring myself to spend that much money on ME, so I haven't yet--but someday I probably will, and he will be thrilled for me. He's been wanting to buy them for me, but I've told him that I'll kill him if he spends that much money on me ;) 

I am SO SO SO grateful that Jerry has a good job and is able to support us while I work from home. He even prefers that I stay at home with the kids--although they are in school now--and I love that I don't even feel guilty for it. Jerry makes sure that I feel good about our situation.

I thank him every day when he goes to work for supporting us because I want him to know how grateful I am. I don't think I can ever express how much I appreciate him, and I try to do what I can to show it. However, he has never made me feel like I don't do "enough". He knows that I work just as hard as he does during the day.

While an unfortunate 40% of marriages fail under normal circumstances, a crazy-high 90% of marriages fail when one partner has bipolar disorder (according to an article in Psychology Today). Aren't those odds sickening?! Well, we are one of the 10% who just keeps getting stronger as a couple, despite my having bipolar disorder.


Jerry has been by my side through it all... the depths of depression, the highs of mania, the radical mood swings that shift without rhyme or reason, and my everlasting anxiety. He is SO PATIENT WITH ME. I don't understand it! I hate to admit it, but if the roles were reversed, I don't think I'd have stuck around. I could never be married to someone like me! 






Jerry is so laid-back and caring that he just goes with the flow and he knows that my mood shifts are just another part of me--a part that he has chosen to accept (even love!). He LOVES ME despite those crazy parts of me.

A lot of times, I feel sorry for him. He could find someone so much better than me--someone that is NOT crazy and who treats him like a king. He deserves that! But he won't hear anything of it. For some reason that God only knows, he wants to stay with me.

Jerry is the best dad to our kids as well. Being a "big kid" himself, he had no problem getting down and dirty while playing with them when they were little. And these days? He does the coolest things like bringing them to a Star Wars movie marathon in Chicago for a couple of days!





Jerry is also accepting and loving of everyone and anyone--regardless of race, sexual identity, political party (well... this is the wrong time of year to ask about that, haha!), age, whatever... he loves to get to know people.

He is also great at breaking the ice in a party situation. Jerry is goofy and funny and even when he says something totally off the wall, it eases tension and makes people feel more comfortable. He's an extrovert, which is just what I need for my very introverted mind. We balance each other out.




I could go on and on and on, but I'll spare you. Jerry is definitely the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm so grateful for his love and for the kids we have together. I am grateful that he treats me like a queen and would do anything at all for his family. 



We started out with the odds against us in multiple ways--we were only 17 and 18 when we started dating, 21 and 22 when we got married, and just a few years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Basically, the odds are that we have a 150% chance of getting divorced. But we are stronger than ever and I couldn't love him more. 

So, as cheesy as it sounds, Jerry is definitely what I am most grateful for. He's gotten me through the toughest of times, including when I was suicidal in the darkest moments of depression. I literally couldn't ask for a better partner--and I am always trying to be the same for him. <3 







20 comments:

  1. This is so sweet!! I love all your pictures through the years. You two are awesome, and I'm hopeful to find this one day. Thanks for sharing so much with us.

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    1. Thank you! :) I'm VERY lucky to have found the perfect partner for me when I was so young.

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  2. This is my favorite gratitude journal.

    https://www.amazon.com/Fuck-This-Shit-Show-Gratitude/dp/172562835X

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    1. Hahaha, I love the name of it! I will check it out. Thanks for the suggestion :)

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  3. I've been reading for years and years and I'd say you've both hit it big in the spouse department :) He is just as lucky to have you ;) You are pretty great yourself!

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    1. I most certainly have!! We were just kids when we got together (17 and 18) so I'm glad that as we've aged, we've been able to adjust our relationship to where we are still so compatible. Thank you for the kind words! <3 (And for being such a long-time reader! I always love when I see I have a comment from you)

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  4. What a beautiful post. I so enjoyed reading this. You are a very lucky person to have Jerry and he is a very lucky guy to have you as well.

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    1. Thank you! I definitely know how lucky I am :) We were so young when we got together, but he's always been so "right" for me!

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  5. This is so sweet! You both seem to balance each other so well and truly seem like an amazing couple! Jerry is a great guy!!

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    1. Thank you, Amanda! We really do balance each other--we are total opposites, but somehow it works ;)

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  6. Replies
    1. Thank you, Pam <3 It seems you have an amazing marriage as well!

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  7. Please don't think for a minute that he could do better than you. What I'm getting from this is you and Jerry were raised by good parents. And you're good parents. He's fantastic, but all of your readers know you are too. And he knows.

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    1. Thank you, Karen! We definitely were raised by good parents (each of us have parents that are still married, which is rare these days!). But mostly, Jerry is a genuinely good guy. Not just to me, but to everyone he meets!

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  8. Enjoyed the read. You give me a lot of hope for someone I love with a mood disorder...Although I suppose there can only be one Jerry in the world!!!

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    1. Awww, thank you. The mood disorder part makes everything SO much more complicated sometimes, and I feel awful for that. I'm so grateful he stuck with me through the really bad times. He's definitely a keeper ;)

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  9. This is a beautiful tribute to your husband and a good reminder to be grateful. I say we should all have an attitude of gratitude. It is one of my Momisms.

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    1. Thank you! I've been trying to find little things to be grateful for every day, no matter how small. Just yesterday, I was thinking about being grateful for a heated steering wheel on my car! Haha, my hands were freezing.

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I used to publish ALL comments (even the mean ones) but I recently chose not to publish those. I always welcome constructive comments/criticism, but there is no need for unnecessary rudeness/hate. But please--I love reading what you have to say! (This comment form is super finicky, so I apologize if you're unable to comment)

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