July 25, 2011

Third times a charm :)

Okay, this is my THIRD post today--the first two were deleted (by me)--so I apologize if I clogged up your Google Readers. I've been having a really bad day, and when you combine that with the fact that I'm super sensitive to certain comments, I just felt the need to delete my previous posts.

ANYWAY, I've been super lazy today! My 15-K training schedule says "Stretch & Strengthen" so I'll probably do some strength training tonight. But no cardio today :)  Yesterday, I was able to take my bike out without the kids for my scheduled 30 minutes of cross training. I have so much anxiety when I ride my bike! I hope I can learn to relax a little. I'm paranoid of getting hit by a car, of getting a flat tire, of riding over rocks or gravel and wiping out... do these things happen often to people that ride a lot? I almost wish I had gotten a mountain bike because the tires feel sturdier. The skinny tires on my hybrid scare me!

It was EXTREMELY humid. But the thing I love about riding the bike versus running is that the wind is blowing in your face the whole time and it feels much cooler than it actually is. When running, it just feels fucking HOT, no matter what! I wore my heart rate monitor on my ride, just because I was curious to see how high my heart rate would get.

My average heart rate was 135. When I run, it's usually about 160. Since biking feels easier than running (cardiovascularly), I guess that seems right to me.

My kids have been driving me CRAZY today. In and out of the house constantly, asking for drinks and food about every 10 minutes, and bringing half the neighborhood here with them. I try to be patient, because I'd much rather my kids play here than at the neighbors' houses, but it is hard to bite my tongue when everyone is constantly tattling on each other for this and that. It really rattles my nerves after a while!

My sister suggested that Jerry and I might want to go to Milwaukee instead of Chicago, and that actually sounds like a good idea to me. She said Milwaukee is a lot of fun, and still a great city while not being as crowded as Chicago. I'm going to check out both and see what we'd rather do.

Here are a couple of before and after pictures that I posted on one of the posts that I deleted. Sorry if you're seeing them AGAIN ;)

253 pounds, 203 pounds, 153 pounds, and 143 pounds

Please be kind :)  Like I said, I'm having a bad day!

Do you ever take blog comments to heart and let them upset you? I'm a very sensitive person, and while I try not to let things bother me, sometimes they just do. If I ask for criticism, I can definitely take it like a man ;)  but when I am just posting about my feelings, I hate hearing criticism. It all boils down to my poor self-image, I imagine.


  1. I'm sorry if you got negative comments. I enjoyed the post and knew exactly what you were talking about.
    I hope you're day gets better! And keep writing about what YOU want to write about.

  2. I hope what I said did not upset you. I think you have done an incredible job! Those pictures are amazing and only one of the reasons you should not have poor self-image. I mean, look at you----you look great!

  3. I am trying to figure out how anyone could find something rude and/or negative to say about those pictures. They are nothing short of amazing and FULLY inspirational to me!!! Thank you, thank you for posting them. There is something awesome about the side by side and same outfit pics. LOVE IT! Thanks again. :)

    I take things too heart too often, as well. Sometimes I just need a minute to digest things on my own and then I can see the "silver lining", but other times, i just DELETE and move on. Try to forget. Maybe have an extra glass of wine and vent to a friend. Then move on, definitely.

    If you need to hear it - you are awesome. I visit your blog daily (sometimes 2 or 3 times!) to remind myself of your journey and where you are now and that it totally CAN BE DONE. So, thank you for being here for me!

  4. I don't know what the comment or comments were, but I think people making insensitive remarks has more to do with them and their issues than it does with yours.
    I appreciate the time and effort you make with your blog, and your success is a wonderful inspiration. Thanks!

  5. Since I get your blog in Google Reader I did have a chance to read the other ones, and all I want to say is that I know exactly where you're coming from and I understand completely. I'll leave it at that. :)

    I was curious - do you find that your heart rate monitor works fine while you're sitting down? Mine only works if I'm standing straight up. If I sit, or even lean forward or to the side, it stops registering my heart rate properly. I've actually quit using the monitor for that specific reason. It's too much hassle to use if it doesn't even register properly.

    btw, I love the photo comparison!!

  6. You know I think you are FUCKING AWESOME! I am probably inching on stalker status of viewing your blog haha! But really, you look great and you make me feel like I can get rid of the extra 120 pound person i am carrying around! You are just lovely,

    oh and I am super sensitive and if i am not ASKING for criticism or something like that I get super upset,

    I got a few nasty messages once from a undisclosed person who was talking crap bc I spelt a word wrong! Seriously???!!!!
    Ugh I was so pissed!

  7. I'm working from home right now so I've read the other entries, and I can't imagine someone saying something negative. We're here for advice and support, but ultimately everyone's journey is his or her own and we have to do what works best for us - regardless of what the critics may say. (That said, though, I definitely understand taking comments to heart. I haven't received any negative ones online, but things said to me about my weight [loss, or otherwise] offline have definitely stung more than I wish they had.)

  8. Nikki StotlerJuly 25, 2011

    You know... from my experience, people that openly say rude things to others or bash them in public forum (or at all) have the same or worse feelings about themselves. They are jealous of your accomplishments, your ability to be honest and openly express yourself, to be REAL. They feel they have to validate their bad decisions and say hurtful things to make themselves feel better. Either way, it hurts and is never easy to take. I feel the same way and let things get to me when I shouldn't. It's natural to feel attacked or crummy when people say mean things even if they aren't necessarily true. Hang in there and just remember you've come a long way. You've fought long and hard to get to where you are and should be proud of the work you've done. Don't apologize for writing what you feel. If people don't like it- they should STOP reading! It's not that hard to not look up your page if they disagree.

  9. DAMN...I didn't see the first two posts. But you know I'm always supportive.l Mama always said, "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all!"
    I'm just back from a retired co-worker's funeral, she was only 64 (just 4 years older than me--yikes) but had breast cancer. I guess I'm coming from a place of thankfulness right now. I'm thankful for every day I get, cause in the end all we really want is just a little more time to enjoy the people we love.
    Love ya Katie!!

  10. You know what - you put yourself out there for everyone to see and that takes serious balls. I stop by at least 2x a day and often refer back to old posts for recipes or plain old inspiration so please - don't let a few insensitive comments get you down. You are beautiful and you are accomplished. It takes awhile for the mind to catch up to the body following weight loss, which is why I'm so glad you have all of those before and afters to look at. You have accomplished what so many of us dream of, and have not been able to do - and you inspire us. Keep on keepin' on Katie. We love you!

  11. Katie,

    I have a feeling the commenter would NEVER say whatever it is they said to your face. They only have the balls to say it hidden behind a blog comment. ***How fucking sad for them!*** Where you, on the other hand, have the guts, glory, and moxy to tell your story to the world from A to Z. The good, bad and ugly is being spoon fed to us because you're choosing to not hide from what got you to that unhealthy "before" place in life. You choose to take a negative and turn it into a positive (deleting the comments). You choose to speak about what's bothering you instead of letting it fester. Well, it might still fester a bit anyway because crappy comments do sting, but you vented and got it off your chest. Think about all the changes you have made, the choices you make now, etc. People make comments like that because they are jealous of you in some way!!!!! You look amazing. I'm sure you feel a million percent healthier than before. It's time to let your self esteem catch up with the look and feel of it all. That takes time. Lots of time.

    From one big loser to another,

  12. Hi Katie, SOOO sorry you were subjected to some nasty comments. (I didn't see them...but to pull a post down, they had to have hurt you). From where I sit, you are an inspiration, role model and TRUE success story. The photos are nothing short of amazing! That said, you are beautiful in the before AND after shots!!!! Hope the day gets better and tomorrow is brighter still. Take care.

  13. I'm sorry to hear someone criticized you. It must have been a pretty hurtful comment. :( Chin up, chica! Nice job on today's run!

  14. Amazing. Inspirational. I'm glad you posted 3 times today. I think this was the motivation I needed to get off of my behind and jump rope (my cheap alternative to running)
    The past few days have been CRAZY around here. I treated myself to a chocolate overload at DQ yesterday (ahh, sweet stress relief) and then the kids wanted to go to an all you can eat pizza buffet today. The 5 pounds I lost last week are surely back now. :( Anyway, point being... Thanks. Thanks for writing. I love your blog. I lost those 5 pounds last week because of your blog. I'll lose them again too. Don't let some negative comments get you down. This is your blog and you don't have to defend yourself here. This is your corner of cyber space. Claim it.

  15. Glad to see I'm not the only one stalking you here! Several blogs (yours primarily)are the boost I need to make it through another day and I would HATE it if a coward who has the courage to type something in the seclusion of his/her hole in the wall would prevent you from lifting me up on a daily basis!!! Like others have said already, these "Debbie Downers" are just projecting their self-loathing on you. Sorry you have to be the recipient of that. The best way to handle it was to remove the post, like a mature adult and not to engage them, however tempting that might have been!!!

    On that note, criticisms stay with you long past any compliment. Like Dr. Phil says "It takes a thousand "atta-boys" to undo one "you're a screw-up."" They're not always direct insults, but you know where the person is coming from that's delivering it. Lately, since I've lost a lot of weight, I'm more peeved at the lack of compliments from my immediate family. I don't know if it's because this isn't the first time I've lost weight (NEVER this much, though) or maybe there is some jealousy going on. I do have to realize that the attention will die down and evaporate eventually, but I want my moment, damn it! I need to work on this- all I need is my own praise! The best reassurance is going clothes shopping!

    Keep your chin up!

  16. AnonymousJuly 25, 2011

    I don't know how I missed your previous entries. I, too, read everyday, sometimes more than once. I'm sorry someone was so negative. It's likely their own insecurities. You are amazing and your journey is inspirational because you are so honest. If you stopped blogging, there would be a hole in my day :)

  17. I've been following your blog for a few weeks now. I found it through SparkPeople. I just want to say that you are my inspiration. When I saw your before and after pictures, my jaw dropped. And I'll admit that I saved them to my computer and my phone and when I feel like giving up on my own weight loss journey, I look at your pictures. You are amazing. Don't let negative comments get you down. You have so many followers who find you completely inspiring.

  18. You look fantastic!

    I don't let negative comments bother me that much. It more bothers me when someone misinterprets what I wrote because it means that I probably was more clear in my mind than on paper (so to speak) and I hate having to re-explain something in the next post.

    As for biking, just do it more. The more traffic riding you do, the more comfortable you will get.

  19. Twinpower7July 25, 2011

    You've been my inspiration since the first time I seriously focused on my healthy lifestyle. I'm a fellow stalker! LOL I'm so sorry someone hurt your feelings. You're such a lovely lady. You've got so many supporters out here. Don't let some hag bring you down girl!

  20. FUCK THEM!!!!.....let them be nasty who cares...if you did, you wouldn't be where you are at in your weight loss today.....

    There is always one bad apple to the hundred's and even thousand's of people that you inspire from either SparkPeople or your blog......

    Sorry you got upset....chin up and just hit delete ;)

  21. I love those pictures! Insanely awesome! If you come to Milwaukee can we have a meet up, I'd love to say hi!?

  22. It's good to hear you are coming to Wisconsin, I am in the Madison area and there are some really nice things to do there, as well as, Milwaukee, it all depends on what you pleasure is while you are visiting!

    Keep rocking on and stay true to your self!

  23. Wow, I'm upset that you deleted your previous posts! I was probably the first one to comment on that first one this morning but I don't think I said anything too negative to you particularly. I simply answered your blogger question and then commented on something positively if I remember correctly. But if by chance somehow you took any of what I said in a bad way, then I am so sorry! I'm going to assume that there were other comments after mine though that ended up saying the negative remarks... Guess I'll never know though.

  24. I already posted a comment, but forgot to say anything about those amazing before and after pictures. What a difference! I especially like the shot from behind--because it looks like that can't possibly be the same person. I know, we're all still the same INSIDE, but somehow the changes we have made on the outside affect the inside too, positively. I don't know about you, but my self esteem is much improved, and I am actually proud of how I look. Oh there are flaws--for sure--but I actually like to get dressed for work in the morning and then admire myself in the mirror when I'm all ready to go. After 30 years of being ashamed to look at the image in the mirror, that's a very positive change!

  25. chrissy792July 26, 2011

    First I want to say how much I love your blog! I love how honest you are and I love that you cuss sometimes because it seems more genuine! I have 3 kids and I don't cuss around them however if they aren't with me or they are in bed I have a mouth like a sailor! I'm so sorry that some people's comments hurt your feelings! I love looking at your pictures! Although I think you were adorable before I think you are gorgeous now! I read your blog about wanting to get a tummy tuck and I was so confused because in all the pictures that I have seen of you your tummy and waist look TINY! Thank you for writing your blog! I have tried a lot of food I might not have known about or tried otherwise! Your blog is the only one I follow and I hope you realize how many people think a lot of you and what an inspiration you are!

  26. AnonymousJuly 26, 2011

    Nothing but positive things to say about your photos and your blog. Wow, what a difference in those photos. I love your hair too. I think society in general has lost a of manners due to the anonymity of sitting behind a computer half a world away and just saying whatever mean shit comes to mind. It's easy for me to sit here and tell you that you should just blow them off and get over it, but I let comments upset me as well. I don't know why since they're usually from people who don't know me and who don't know the entire story of my life and why I feel that way. But yeah, it does sometimes hurt and I get upset and pissed.

    I do agree with everyone else that your blog is a huge source of inspiration and knowledge so I follow it daily and really appreciate everything you share with us. We think you're awesome.

  27. hey katie!
    i just read what i think was the first post about people on ya because you declined food at get-together/parties etc..This is what kills me the most!! GAHH! go away people!!

    and yes, i had my first hurtful comments just yesterday morning! I just got my first DSLR camera(a nikon) and people commented 'Boo on Nikon' etc etc..Seriously people! EFF OFF!!!

    You are amazing! Keep on blogging! I LOVE LOVE LOVE reading your blog! Hoping i will get off my fat ass soon and do something about this extra 45-50 lbs! UGH. 185 on a 5'3 frame SUCKS! :(

  28. YOU LOOK AMAZING!!! So don't let anyone's stupid comments get to you - if they don't like what you post, then they shouldn't read or look at them!!

    You have come so far and are such an inspiration!!

  29. Wpw. What a difference. The before and afters are SO AMAZING! Especially with the same outfit - really marks how far you have come!

    You are so strong and beautiful!

  30. I don't think the fact that you're wounded by ugly comments is an indication of low self esteem at all. If someone walked by and slapped your face, it would hurt. It hurts when they do it emotionally, too, even if it's a stranger on the internet. In *real* life, I don't allow those people into my world, but on the internet, they have free access. I'm bewildered that anyone would find joy in posting something that they know will hurt someone else's feelings. THEY are the ones with low self esteem. You, my dear, are AMAZING.

  31. I love these pictures! How cool that you kept those clothes and were able to show the huge transformation this way! I wish I had thought to do that but I donate my fat clothes as soon as I shrink out of them! I'm so "I'll NEVER wear that size again so get away from me!" =)

  32. AnonymousJune 12, 2013

    I chuckle every time you refer to yourself as "sensitive" because it just doesn't seem like a fitting trait for you. You are a strong, beautiful, confident, and amazing woman... Don't let anyone make you believe differently. Even at your highest weight you were a wonderful daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend and neighbor. Today you're just a healthier version of the same wonderful person :)


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