The One Where Joey Gets His Own Blog Post

Jerry was off work today and the kids didn't have school; so, we decided to have a family day. I'm going to keep this post short because we are going to play a new board game.

Since I recently shared a bunch of pictures of the cats, I thought I'd let Joey have his turn in the limelight.

Joey is our black labrador/chow chow mix that we adopted from the local animal shelter in 2015, when he was about 18 months old. (Jerry and I are "cat people", but we both agree that Joey is the best dog we could ask for--he's amazing. We wanted the boys to grow up with a dog.)

Interesting fact: Black dogs are less likely to get adopted from shelters because they aren't as photogenic as other dogs.

It's true! Joey isn't as photogenic. When we had a dark brown couch, you could barely see anything but his two eyes while he was lying on it. But he's SUCH a sweet dog and has been a huge blessing in our lives. If you're thinking about getting a dog, PLEASE get one from a shelter... and consider getting a "less desirable" black dog. We couldn't ask for a better dog. Truly!

(Joey got his name from Joey Tribbiani from Friends, the TV show. Jerry and I are huge Friends fans, and we have named all of our pets after Friends characters. If you're not familiar with the show, all of the names of the episodes started with "The One Where..." which is why I named this post the way I did.)

And maybe you'll see from the pictures that he's more photogenic than he gets credit for ;)

First, here is a before and after photo of when we adopted him from the shelter. What a huge difference, right?!

Before telling him he's a "good boy"...

And after telling him he's a "good boy"...

Joey Tribbiani's "smell the fart" acting... (Friends reference)

These photos are ones that Noah took to practice his photography...

(Noah started an Instagram account for his photography if you'd like to support him--he'd be thrilled! He's @noahphotography.jpg on Instagram. I'm so happy that he found a good hobby, and I hope he continues with it!)

Well, that's our Joey! He's such a "people dog", always wanting to be doing whatever we are doing. He allows the cats to take charge of the household and he no longer goes after squirrels because he's learned that they are our friends, not food ;)  He loves walks and treats and going along in the car whenever we go somewhere!

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So much support! (And a great goal as a result)

I really can't say thank you enough for the support on yesterday's post. I will try to respond to the comments over the next couple of days. I always hate writing things like the post I wrote yesterday, because I feel like I'm admitting to failure. But so many of you have made me feel like like I'm really just seeing a part of the (never-ending) process. I appreciate it so much!

I'm going to keep this post short, because Jerry is off work tomorrow, so we're going to watch a movie together tonight.

My good friend Adam (who I met right when I started my sophomore year of high school) texted me today to say that he read yesterday's post and he was wondering if there was something we could do together to help each other get/stay on track with personal goals.

This is my very favorite photo of Adam and me... it's from 1998 (Yikes! That makes me feel so old.)

As far as doing something together to get on track, nothing really jumped out at me because I've been trying to think of things like this for about two years now! However, I finally suggested something that was mildly uncomfortable (in a good way)--running the Detroit Free Press International Half Marathon together this October.

You may remember that I ran the full marathon with Rik in 2012; and I walked/ran with Jerry in 2015. I love love LOVE the Detroit course (out of all the races I've done, it's my favorite course). Adam has never actually done an "official" half-marathon... he's walked them and he's run them on a treadmill; but financially, he's not been able to afford to do races.

Soooo... I suggested that we run the Detroit Half this October, and I will pay his entry fee. If he bails for whatever reason, then he has to pay me back. And if I try to flake on him, then he will guilt trip me big time. I feel like this is a great solution for both of us!

(Adam is someone who you can never win against in an argument. I could give him a trillion excuses reasons why I can't train, and he won't hear of it. That is exactly what I need to stick with it.)

Just the fact that this will be his first big race and I'll be running it with him makes me super excited--I don't know if he's ever even been to a big race, but the excitement of the experience is totally worth it for a newcomer. I think that is what is most exciting for me--being there when he experiences the race and gets his medal and all that.)

I love this whole idea... I will be motivated to train (because I'll have to if I want to run with him) and he'll be motivated to do the race (because if he doesn't, he'll have to pay me back for the entry fee). He's excited about the idea because it'll give him something to work toward. So, it's a win-win all around.

I feel like this will really be helpful in getting me running again! I'm not going to come up with a crazy training plan--I'll write up something simple next week, something that will get me to the finish line but without all the complications of training a particular way.

SIMPLE is the name of the game this year.

I also agreed to read a book that he suggested--Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins (Amazon affiliate link). I looked at the synopsis, and it looks really great! (Otherwise, I wouldn't have agreed to read it.) He said it is super inspiring and will likely help me in getting determined to work on my goals. So, I bought the Kindle version today.

Anyway, I love that he reached out and that we came up with these things we can do to help each other out. I'm probably going to start the book on Tuesday (my kids and Jerry are off tomorrow, so we're doing a family day). And I'm going to write up a training plan during the week to get ready for the half.

I have no plan to break any personal records for speed, but if I can just run the whole thing, I'll be happy. I'm mostly excited to see Adam finish his first "official" race!

I haven't come up with a plan for my diet, yet, but for right now, I'm happy to have a plan going forward and through the summer for exercise. It'll feel good to have a training goal again. I wouldn't want to do this race if it didn't mean something.

While I'm not "cured" after what I wrote on yesterday's post, I'm feeling good right now about this plan. And it'll be fun to write about as I train :)

Here is a photo of Adam and me from a few weeks ago. He came over to watch the season premiere of The Biggest Loser with Jerry and me. Jerry fell asleep halfway through, so Adam and I took a photo with him anyway ;)  (Of course, Estelle had to insert herself in the photo, too)

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Where, oh where, has my weight loss motivation gone?

Raw, vulnerable, honest post ahead.

I don't know that I have ever felt so bad about myself as I have lately. This is a bold statement, because even when I was 253 pounds, I didn't feel this bad.

For coming up on 10 years, people have asked my where I found the motivation to lose weight; how I lost the weight; how I got through certain situations, vacation, etc. while continuing to lose weight; and just basically how to keep going when it's SO HARD.

And for years, I had answers that were truthful and (hopefully) helpful.

Now, I have a full inbox with similar questions, and I just keep letting it pile up because I don't have those answers anymore. I am one of the people who wants to know how to get motivated--determined, rather--and stick with it. (Here is the difference between motivation and determination.)

It's hard to believe that just three years ago, I was happier than I'd ever been. I wasn't running, or eating super healthy, but I felt fantastic. I did exactly what made me happy and I quit doing the things that didn't make me happy.

So why can't I do that anymore?

I'm very unhappy with my weight (I actually haven't gotten on the scale in 2-3 weeks, but my clothes feel a little tighter). The last time I checked, I was in the high 160's. When I was losing the weight, I was thrilled to have hit the 160's and I loved the way I looked and felt. Now, I'm about 45 pounds from my lowest weight, and 35 pounds from my (previous) goal weight. I'm about 25 pounds from my "I can be happy with this" weight".

(Normally, I'd insert a current photo here, but I never take pictures anymore--the one at the top of the post is the most recent.)

I stopped taking care of myself (not just the weight, but in most aspects). Each day that passes, I feel like I'm further and further "gone" until one day, I'll be at the point of no return. I know it makes sense to just start right at this moment and then I won't end up in that place. So why cannot I not find that fiery determination I used to have?

I used to set goals and work hard to achieve them. I used to look forward to all the little milestones that came with weight loss and running.

The things that I miss about being at my goal weight are so insignificant:

• Easily crossing my legs
• Walking without my thighs rubbing together
• Wearing form fitting clothes
• Not being self-conscious in photos
• Actually posting current photos
• Feeling inspiring--showing others that if I can do it, they can, too
• Running with ease
• Looking young! Did I write about what happened recently when Jerry went to the lab to have blood drawn? I went in with him, and the woman working there thought I was his mother. If that's not a slap in the face, I don't know what is.)

I know there are a million more things in this world to feel bad about, but right now, this is what is doing it for me. I desperately want to get back to that place of feeling good in my body, not feeling self-conscious that everyone is silently thinking about my weight gain when I run into people I haven't seen in a while.

I keep trying to have that "just get it over with" attitude--spend a few months doing what I need to do, and I'll be in a good place (or at least better) again--and then I don't have to think about this constantly.

I'm able to motivate myself by looking at old photos from a few years ago, but as I've said a million times, motivation doesn't work for weight loss. Determination does. So why can't I just find that determination I felt before?

I spent the last three months of 2019 running three days a week to get back into the habit. And then as soon as that goal was over, I just quit again. I think maybe I was making it too complicated by utilizing the MAF method and worrying about this or that. Maybe I just need to go back to the basics, like when I first started losing weight in 2009.

Back then, I focused on one thing and one thing only: don't go over my Weight Watchers Points (I was doing the Winning Points plan, which is still my favorite--their new ones are definitely not for me). I didn't worry about exercise, I didn't worry about what foods I was eating and whether or not they were healthy. I kept it extremely simple. Don't go over my Points.

When I switched to counting calories, I did something similar: Don't go overboard. I didn't set a specific limit of calories, but I tried to eat a low volume of food that I REALLY wanted and keep the calories from being higher than what a "normal" person would eat.

When I started exercising? Again, I kept it simple: 30 minutes, 3 times a week. No exceptions. And I eventually added that I couldn't go more than two days in a row without running. I didn't worry about my heart rate at all, and my only real goal was to get faster and run farther. Once I could run three miles, I followed a training plan to build my mileage. I didn't worry about speed work or heart rate or anything other than distance and pace.

I'm starting to wonder if I made things too complicated over the years. I've learned a ton more about running, but is that necessarily a good thing? There is so much conflicting evidence about types of training, who knows what is truly best? Maybe the best thing is to just run however it feels best.

As far as my diet, maybe I made things too complicated by trying to eat healthier things that I didn't enjoy so much. When I first started losing weight, I ate whatever sounded good to me, healthy or not. Gradually, I found my tastes started to change, and I naturally ate healthier (certainly not super healthy, but definitely healthier) because I enjoyed the foods--not because I was forcing them.

But maybe I made things too complicated by letting all those articles and advice (intermittent fasting, eating only whole foods, cutting out sugar, intuitive eating, etc) get in my head and tell me that what I was doing was all sorts of wrong.

Maybe it's time I just listen to my mind and my body and keep things simple. Forget everything I learned and do what feels best, mentally and physically.

However, that's the hard part. Once I learn something, I can't UN-learn it. So, if I choose to eat a piece of cake for breakfast, I would hear those voices telling me that it's "bad" and I should choose oatmeal instead, even if the thought of oatmeal is revolting at the moment.

I'm not writing this post to come up with a solution, which is what it's starting to sound like. I know what I need to do! I'm just writing thoughts as they come to me. I just know that right now, I'm very unhappy with my weight and the fact that I just can't find the will to care enough to do what it takes to change it.

I also have to accept that my life is far busier than it used to be. I have been so stressed out for the past year--and unfortunately, stress is my biggest trigger for emotional eating. I never really get time to myself anymore (I know, as a stay-at-home mom, you wouldn't think that's true--but the change in schools, raising teenage boys, and Jerry's work schedule have made me feel like I'm juggling more than I can handle sometimes.)

Anyway, I just wrote this because I don't want to pretend like I'm doing great with counting calories, or my challenge of not eating after dinner, or running again, or anything like that. This is the truth. I cannot find the motivation determination to stick with things.

I'm going to keep trying, though! I try to keep in mind how many attempts it took the first time for me to lose the weight before I was finally successful. I honestly can't count the number of times I tried.

So, you may hear about starts and tries and quits and all of that here, and hopefully I'll be able to get to the point where I can share some sort of progress. Maybe I'll even face the scale on Wednesday. I really want to just get this over with and stop feeling bad about it!

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Old School (VERY) Cool Guest Post by My Mom

I've been wanting to share this for a long time, but my mom wasn't able to find the photos to accompany it. I was inspired by the subreddit r/oldschoolcool.

I love looking at old photos! And as I get older, I like learning from my parents about their lives when they were younger. My mom told me a story about when was 14 years old, and it's a fun one!

My mom's parents were pretty well-off financially (my grandpa owned an insurance business) and very well-known around the city where I grew up (Rockwood, MI). They had a big house, a big family, and my grandpa (who, sadly, I never got to meet; he passed away before I was born).

My mom was born in 1952, and when she was a young teenager, there was an English beat rock band on par with the Monkees and The Beatles. They charted six Top 20 hits in 1965 and 1966--right when my mom was at the perfect "boy band" age of 13 and 14 years old.

[Side note: When I was in elementary school, I had a custodian named Chuck Whitwam. He was fantastic! He gave me the nickname "Katydid" (like the bug). Whenever I'd see him in the halls, he'd joking say, "What did Katie done? Katydid!" It always made me feel special that he noticed me.]

Anyway, I will let my mom tell the story in her own words about Herman's Hermits. As she does, try to think back to the days before the internet when you couldn't just listen to music on a whim. When celebrities were "real" celebrities and not just social media influencers.

Here's my mom's story:

"Katie... Remember Mr. Chuck Whitwam (custodian at elementary school)? Well, years before we knew him as custodian, his (first) wife Marsha worked for my dad.

I don't know the circumstances that lead to a letter being sent to Barry Whitwam (the drummer for Herman's Hermits) in England when Chuck found out they were going to be touring in the United States.

I don't know if he thought he was related to them (because of their identical last name) or what lead to the letter, but Barry responded and accepted the invitation to meet up with Chuck and Marsha when they arrived in the Detroit area.

This was about 1965, and the Hermits were appearing on the live show "Swinging Time" in Windsor (Canada, just across the bridge from Detroit). Swinging Time had a huge outdoor stage and lots of teens would flock there for the show and dancing.

Chuck and Marsha first met Barry and the other Hermits at the show, and they took me along. We were invited to go back to the Hermits hotel for a visit and pictures.

[Stop for a sec... can you even IMAGINE this happening these days?! As a 14-year old girl who is totally into this boy band, getting not only to meet them, but to hang out with them?!]

Here are some photos from the hotel room (my mom is the one wearing the dress with the white collar and the black ribbon). Barry Whitwam is wearing the blue shirt.

I spy, with my little eye, Keith Hopwood in a towel 😂

In 1966, Herman's Hermits were touring again in the United States. I don't know the details of the invitation, but they made a plan for another visit with us.

Chuck and Marsha lived in a duplex (upper flat, I think) and Marsha was about eight months pregnant. They panicked--"How are we going to entertain Herman's Hermits?!"

My dad had a boat and he told Marsha that he could take their guests in the boat to water ski. (My dad didn't have a clue who was he going to be entertaining.)

Herman's Hermits were right up there under The Beatles at this time. I was 14 years old and flipped out with excitement! Then I knew we couldn't make it public, because there would be a mob at our house--so only a few knew about it ahead of time.

Two of the Hermits came--Barry, the drummer; and Keith, the guitarist.

Following the boating and skiing, they came back to our house, hung out drinking beer, smoking cigarettes, and playing pool. The guy in the white is Keith Hopwood; Barry Whitwam is in black and white.

Needless to say, it was the highlight of my teen years!

P.S. These photos were taken with my Brownie Fiesta camera. The film had to be taken to the drug store to be developed--it took over a week to get them back! [Torturous when you're dying to share it all with your friends]

---

After hearing this story from my mom, I was in awe. Can you even imagine? This was way before internet stalkers. Some random guy (the janitor from my elementary school, before I was even born yet) had the same last name as someone from a super popular band. So he writes a letter (in an envelope with a stamp!) and mails it to him, and must have claimed they were family. So the uber-famous musicians said, "Hey, sure, we'll come hang out with you guys while we're in Detroit!"

I find it so funny! But such a fun experience for my mom.

By the way, she said that the Hermits were VERY nice people and she enjoyed their company very much!

In case you're more my age than my mom's age (haha) here is a video of a popular Herman's Hermits song:

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Sleep!

I'm posting this to keep my blogging streak going--I hoped not to have to do many of these non-posts, but I am SO tired--I'm sorry. I was literally just falling asleep on the couch with Jerry (wrapped in my heating pad and covered with a warm blanket--so cozy!) and I desperately wanted to just let myself sleep there all night.

I haven't slept much the last few days (maybe four hours a night?) so it totally caught up to me today. I will write a real post tomorrow!

But since I haven't been posting any recent pictures lately (both because there hasn't been a real reason to and also because I still feel self-conscious of my weight right now), I took a couple of selfies earlier today that I'd been planning to use for "real" posts, haha.

Anyway, I am going to sleep now. Good night!

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RECIPE: Cheese Grits with an Egg

This is really so simple that it's hard to post it as a "recipe"; but it's one of my go-to's. Especially when I am counting calories!

If you like macaroni and cheese but you don't want to spend a trillion calories on it, this is the best replacement I can think of. I didn't eat grits while I was growing up, so I really didn't know anything about them.

However once I tried them this way, I was obsessed. I eat them them all the time! They are especially good topped with an egg and/or sautéed Brussels sprouts.

I wish I could say that my whole family loves them, but I'd be lying. I just don't understand it. But don't listen to them--try these for yourself and decide. They are delicious!

Here is a printer-friendly copy of the recipe!

Cheese Grits with an Egg

Ingredients:

1/4 cup quick-cooking grits (this is the kind I use--Amazon affiliate link)
3/4 cup to 1 cup water (I use somewhere in between... roughly 7/8 of a cup)
3/4 of a chicken bouillon cube (I just break this in my hands and use about 3/4 of the cube)
(Alternatively, you could use 3/4 to 1 cup of chicken broth instead of the water + cube)
1 oz. shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1 large egg
1 tsp. butter

Directions:

In a (large) serving bowl (you want a size that won't cause the grits to boil over, similar to oatmeal), add the grits and water + bouillon (or broth). Microwave for 3 minutes and 30 seconds (or whatever time is recommended on the box of grits.

Meanwhile, heat a small skillet on medium heat and add the butter. When the butter is melted, add the egg. Once the egg looks like it's cooked about halfway through, add a tablespoon or so of water and then place a lid on the skillet. Don't turn the egg over. The steam will finish cooking the top of the egg, so your egg will be perfectly cooked with a runny yolk.

When the grits are done cooking in the microwave, give them a good stir. They will thicken up as they stand. Add the cheese to the grits and stir well, until the cheese melts and blends in with the grits.

When the egg is done cooking (the white is cooked through but the yolk is still runny) top the grits with the egg.

This makes one serving. If making several servings, I'd suggest cooking the grits on the stove, per the instructions on the box (using chicken broth instead of water).

If you've never tried grits, this is the best way to try them! They are delicious, and I'll eat them for breakfast, lunch, or dinner :)

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