How the weight creeps up

When I told my sister about how much I've been struggling lately, she suggested that I go back to my Weight Watchers meetings. She said it would make me feel so much better and in control. I've always gone to Wednesday meetings, and I hadn't planned on going today, but Jeanie sent me a text to remind me this morning.

So, after I got the kids on the bus and ate breakfast, I headed to Weight Watchers. I love my leader, and I knew there wouldn't be any judgement about my weight gain, but I still wasn't sure if I wanted to weigh in. I don't *have* to weigh in unless I'm at goal, and I'm certainly not at goal.

I sat in the car for a minute when I got to my WW center, thinking about what to do. I feel like I've hit rock bottom right now, and I really want to feel better. So I decided that I was going to weigh in today, and accept the gain. I also decided to make a big commitment--I would buy a 12-week pre-pay plan, so that way I would be losing out on a lot of money if I don't go to the meetings.

Glenda, my leader, was happy to see me. I started to tell her about what was going on, but I could feel myself getting choked up, so I just told her to weigh me and get it over with. It turns out there was a special on the 12-week pass... for $136, it would include 12 weeks of meetings, 12 weeks of eTools (the online tracker that I normally pay $18/month for), and a "Starter Kit", which included a cookbook, a bento box, and some portion control plates.

Paying $136 in one chunk is a LOT, but because I did it that way, I think I am much more likely to go to the meetings and follow the program. I hate to throw money away, so I am determined to put this to good use. When I did Weight Watchers in 2012 and finally reached goal, I only stuck with it because I was paying for it--and it's not cheap!

I weigh myself almost daily at home, so seeing my weight wasn't a shock. But in the box below, it shows +/- and lists how much you've lost or gained since you joined. Seeing +27.0 today was what shocked me. I know how to do math, so you would think I wouldn't be surprised; but seeing that number printed out on my little book took my breath away. I'm 27 pounds over my goal weight?!

This is how weight creeps up on me:

-I reach my goal weight of 133, and I'm very happy. I maintain 130-136 for a year by counting my Points and tracking my food.
-I decide to eat "intuitively" instead of tracking, and "live a little".
-Soon, I see 139, and I think, "Yikes, I'd better reel it in a little. At least I'm still in the 130's, though."
-Then one day, I see 141, and I think, "Woah! The 140's. Well, it's in the low 140's, so I'll just cut back for a day or two and be back in the 130's. I'm retaining water from eating badly."
-One day, I see 146, and I think, "Yeesh! I'd really better get back on track. But thankfully, I'm still in the 140's. I never want to see the 150's again."
-Shortly after, I see 152, and I think, "Holy cow! I swore I'd never see the 150's again. Thankfully, it's in the low 150's, though. A couple of days on track, and I'll be back in the 140's..."

...and so on. You can go through each "decade" of weight with that train of thought, and I could picture myself continuing on until I'm back at my starting weight! It's scary how quickly it can happen, and how hard it is to reverse. So, from now on, if I find myself thinking, "Well, at least my weight isn't in the _____'s", I know that I'm going to have a problem.

I felt relieved after weighing in and buying the 12-week pass. I feel like I'm finally taking control of something, and making a real plan to get there.

The meeting was pretty crowded, and there were a lot of people I'd never seen before (plus the regulars that I remembered from when I used to go weekly). It was a good meeting, and I was glad to be back. And now that I am prepaid through July 21, I am going to make it a habit to go once a week!

The next couple of weekends are going to be pretty tough to stay on plan, but if I can get through the next two weeks, then I don't have anything else going on anytime soon, so I'll really be able to stay focused. I'm going to come up with a plan for these two weekends, just like I used to when I was faced with challenges during my weight loss. And I'm going to attend my meetings and weigh in, even if I don't end up sticking with my plan, or if I fall off track.

I'm glad my sister convinced me to go back to my meeting! I feel like I can start fresh from here, and hopefully get out of this funk I'm in :)

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Afternoon at the B.O.B.

Spending the day in Grand Rapids with Jerry, Nathan, and Kendall yesterday ended up being a lot of fun (not that I expected anything less). I had a hard time relaxing, though, because I knew my mom was home with not only my kids, but both Joey and Nathan's dog, Bailey. That's a lot to take on at once!

Right when we got to GR, we went to Hop Cat for lunch. I'd never been there, but it's a very hyped up place, so I was excited to try it. Unfortunately, I was not very impressed. Actually, all four of us gave it a thumbs-down and agreed we wouldn't go back there. We spent several hours at the B.O.B. (Big Old Building), however, which is where Jerry and I spent most of our time on our January trip to Grand Rapids. It's such a cool building, and there are lots of cozy seating options. The happy hour is from 2-6, which makes a very cheap afternoon of drinks and appetizers.

Kendall took this pic of Jerry and me, and I love it!

We were sitting next to a shuffleboard table, and we decided to give the game a try. My only experience with shuffleboard is from when I was a kid, and my dad was a volunteer firefighter. The firehall had a shuffleboard table, and Nathan and I would mess around with it, seeing who could send the pucks down the table the fastest. Well, who knew that's not actually how you play?! ;)

We had been playing for a good 30 minutes when a server, who was picking up some glasses from a nearby table, looked at us for a second and said, "Oh, you're playing upside down. That's one way to do it!" We were all confused, and he showed us that we had the pucks upside down. We all busted up laughing over that! The smooth silver side goes down, and the color side points upward.

This was my best throw. Another millimeter, and it would have gone over the edge. (The object is to get it as close to the edge as possible without it going over). Actually, Nathan and Jerry blew on it after it had stopped, and it did go over! Cheaters.

Our hotel was within a half-mile of everywhere wanted to go, which was awesome. We had a really nice walk on the way back to the hotel. I had to stop to take a picture, because the river and all the lights looked so pretty!

We were in bed at an embarrassingly early 10:30 last night, but it had been a long day. Jerry worked nights on Sunday, so he only slept for three hours before we left to go to Grand Rapids. He was understandably exhausted.

The evening was super fun, though, and Grand Rapids remains on the list for a fun, overnight trip!

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I want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who has donated to Wins for Warriors on behalf of Nathan and me. We hit our personal goal of $2,000 today!! I can't even describe how grateful I am for each and every donation. I'm really excited for the Wins for Warriors Detroit 9K, and to see how much is raised in total for the cause.

If you haven't donated, and would like to, we would very much appreciate it! Here is a link to a guest post that my brother wrote about his experience with PTSD and how running changed his life. There is a link at the bottom to make a donation to Wins for Warriors if you can. Thank you again to everyone who donated and helped us reach our fundraising goal!

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Motivational Monday #106

Happy Motivational Monday, Friends! I am heading to Grand Rapids very shortly, but I have a few great MM stories for you today. Enjoy!

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Nicole recently celebrated the five-year anniversary of the start of her incredible weight loss journey! She's lost close to 100 pounds, and has written a detailed blog post about the past five years of weight loss and maintenance.

After losing 64 pounds, Camilla recently traveled three hours to her hometown in Sweden to run her first half-marathon! She had always dreamed of being a part of an event like that, but lacked the confidence. When she saw that several people on Extreme Weight Loss were able to run a half-marathon in the first year of losing weight, she decided she could, too. She was very nervous about being too slow and that everyone would pack up and leave while she was still on the course. On race morning, everyone took off running around her at the start, which left her feeling a little panicked. Looking around, she realized she was last. The course was two laps, and when she completed her first lap, some people were already done with both, which was a little discouraging. Even the safety biker at the end of the course was far ahead of her. Her husband jumped in to finish the second lap with her. When she saw the finish line, she sprinted in, and was greeted with volunteers who gave her a grand finale of cheering, hand clapping, her medal, and even a basket of fruit, a rose, and a flower arrangement for her head. She did it! She swore during the race and after that she'd never do it again; but now that she's had a couple of days to think about it, she's already thinking about doing another ;) (Camilla's blog)

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After a three year hiatus from running, Amy started training again in mid-January. This past Saturday, she ran her first 10K of the year and finished with a new PR! The race was the "Dorothy Dash 10K" in the Land of Oz in Olathe, Kansas. She said it was the most fun she's had in a race. Amy has also lost 18 pounds since starting Weight Watchers in December!

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Margaret, along with her daughter, Kate, and one of her fourth grade students, Ella, are proud to have run the Fuel Up to Play 60 5K over the weekend! The weather was great for a run, but the route was a bit difficult, with some large hills. Kate was hoping to finish under 50 minutes, and Ella under 40 minutes, and they encouraged each other the entire way. They crossed the finish line in 41:36! (Margaret's blog)

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Renee has been walk/jogging for a couple of years--always starting in the spring when the weather breaks, working up to 5K distance during the summer, and then continuing on through the fall. Come winter, though, she loses her running mojo, stops being active, and gains back the weight she'd worked so hard to lose. She is determined to make this year the year where she continues her training for four full seasons! She recruited her nieces to start running with her, and they have been great motivation. Last weekend, they ran their first mile together (no walking) and felt very proud!

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Thanks for sharing, ladies! Congrats on your accomplishments!

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Struggles

I'm struggling really badly right now with everything. My stress fracture was devastating enough when it happened in December, and then I subsequently took seven weeks off of running. That was really difficult, but I knew the end was in sight and I just focused on letting it heal.

I felt so good when I was able to run again, and I was happily building my mileage up (slowly, so that I didn't get injured again). And then out of nowhere, my fracture was back. I can't really describe my thoughts other than it felt like a switch was just turned off inside of me. I felt like my whole spirit just deflated and disappeared.

A part of me was hopeful that I just misread a little twinge in my ankle, and that the bone scan would show that my ankle was healed. But, alas, it did not. I'm grateful that the fracture isn't worse, or in my tibia; but the fact that I can't run has completely thrown off my whole routine. I know there are other exercises I could do (and I have been, occasionally); but I ran for the mental benefits as much as the physical. I don't enjoy other sports/exercises like I did running.

Running was the one thing that really kept me grounded in weight management. I had good days and bad days as far as my diet goes, but the one constant was that I would run 3+ times per week, every week. My weight has gone up and down with about 20 pounds over the last few years, but I believe that running is the reason it never continued to climb. Knowing I had a long run the next day would be enough to keep me from eating greasy food, or drinking too much wine, or whatever the case was at the time.

My weight was already up in December, when I got injured, so I couldn't afford to gain any more. But still, I struggled to get and stay on track for more than a week or so. Not being able to run + not being on track with my eating makes me feel like I did at 253 pounds. I feel out of control and unhappy.

I know all of the things I need to do to get back on track. I know how to eat well, and I know that I can do other exercises. These are so obvious to me! But I feel so defeated that I am having the hardest time actually doing it.

A friend of mine told me about how he felt depressed when he was injured for a while and couldn't run, and I completely understand that now. I've dealt with depression my whole life, but I didn't realize just how much running helped me until now. Even when I had a bad day of eating, I could go for a run and feel like a million bucks. Now, I just have to find other ways to deal with it; and unfortunately, I've been doing more emotional eating than I've done in a long time, causing my weight to start creeping up again.

I know, without a doubt, that if I can get my eating back under control, I will feel a hundred times better. Even if I don't run, I still feel good about myself when I eat well. I started a list, which I've drafted into a blog post (hopefully to post soon), about all the things I did when I was losing weight that helped me to be successful--everything from knitting at night in order to keep my hands busy to drinking a quart of water first thing in the morning. I am going to work on getting back to all those basic things that became habits for me, and helped me to stick with the weight loss for so long.

The past couple of days have been really rough for me (mentally), so today I decided that I needed to do something to feel proud of. While the kids were at church, I took my bike out for a long bike ride. I rode from my house to the State Park, around the park, and back home (a lollipop route), which totaled 15.4 miles. Even though I really didn't want to do it, I was so glad once I was in the State Park. I felt good that I'd at least made it halfway, so by the time I got home, I'd have biked over 15 miles!

I had a tailwind the first five miles, which I didn't realize until I changed direction ;) I had to slow down through the park, because there are a ton of tree roots coming up through the pavement and it's really bumpy. And the I had a STRONG headwind on the way home, which is why my speed dropped.

When I got home, my legs felt really rubbery, which was actually nice! Pedaling into the wind the last five miles was really tough, and I felt like I got a good workout. I forgot to wear my heart rate monitor, so I don't know how many calories I burned, but I mostly just wanted to feel a sense of accomplishment. And I did!

Tomorrow, Jerry and I are going to Grand Rapids with Nathan and Kendall. I'm going to do my best not to overindulge in food or drinks, and when I get home on Tuesday, I'm going to get back to my old habits (by "old", I mean when I was eating well and losing weight). It's going to be hard for the next couple of weeks, because I have two race weekends in a row; but I managed to stay completely on track for a year--including going to Indy for the Mini Marathon--so I know I can do it again. I think I just need to work on shifting my mindset onto what I can do to feel better about myself--and since I can't run, I might as well eat better!

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Don't forget, tomorrow is Motivational Monday! Because I'm going to Grand Rapids, I am going to have to prepare the post early in the morning. So if you have a submission, please get it to me tonight!

Tomorrow is also the Boston Marathon--good luck to any of you who are running! My friend and Sole Mate Caitlin is running it, and I'm super excited for her, so I'll be following along on her progress.

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Bone scan results

Well, I got the results of my bone scan yesterday. It is, indeed, a stress fracture in my fibula. The doctor said that it's very small, though, which is good; and the fact that it can't even be seen on a regular x-ray is also good. I haven't been having any pain, so it's been really hard not to run; but I'm going to listen to the doctor. Oddly, the scan also showed that I have shin splints...! I definitely felt the shin splints a few weeks ago, when I was feeling really sore ("normal sore"). I thought it was weird then, because I hadn't gotten shin splints since I started running in 2010. I had no idea that shin splints could be seen on a bone scan.

The doctor said I could continue to do low-impact exercises (bike, elliptical, deep water running), and then when I go to Indy, I can try to run the half-marathon if I want--I just have to take it easy. I'm registered for the Glass City Marathon Relay a week from this Sunday, and my leg is 6.1 miles. I've pretty much decided that I'm not going to run it, because I don't want to risk anything with my leg. I'm super bummed about it, because it's SO much fun to run as a relay team, and this year, we have three full teams who are running together.

This is a picture from last year at the same race. I have zero pictures
for this post, so this will have to do.

I'm still planning to go to the race, whether I am going to run or not, and I'll hang out at each of the relay stations to cheer on our teams. We're having a party at my parents' house afterward, just like we did last year. It'll just be lonely being the only one of our group at the race who isn't running!

I'm a little concerned about the Mini Marathon in Indy, also. I'm sure I could pull it off--even if it hurts, I know I could finish the race. But the problem is that I am registered for the Detroit Marathon in October, and training starts in June. So if I really screw up my leg in Indy, then I'll have to take eight weeks off to heal before I start training, and then I'd be pretty much starting completely over as a runner (it's already been four months since I initially got the stress fracture... so basically forever).

Because I haven't felt any pain over the last several days, I'm leaning toward going ahead and running Indy, and just hoping for the best. My doctor thinks it'll be okay, which is reassuring. I called today to schedule the gait analysis, so I'm waiting to hear back from them. Hopefully they'll be able to get me in soon (before Indy), and I can make a more informed decision.

Anyway, these are all just a bunch of jumbled thoughts--I'm basically just thinking out loud on paper on computer screen!

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Today was absolutely GORGEOUS outside! My mom asked me this morning if I wanted to go for a bike ride. I had some errands to run, but it was so nice out that I just had to say yes. We rode around the neighborhoods, just about four miles, and at a nice leisurely pace. My mom signed up for that Tour de Troit bike ride in September, after I mentioned it on my blog, and going for a ride today was the push I needed to register. So, it's official--on September 19, I'll ride 30 miles around Detroit! I'm super excited for it. It's a leisurely ride, so it's not a race or anything. Just a fun way to see Detroit.

There is another bike ride in Detroit called Cycle Into Spring on May 9th, and I think I may do that one as well. Nathan is supposed to be off work that day, so I asked him to do it with me. I'll need to take my bike for a tune-up next week, for sure. When I bought it in 2011, they told me to bring it in after I got 10 hours of riding on it; well, sadly, I probably just hit 10 hours this past fall! Hahaha. At least I know how to wear my helmet now--it only took a few years ;)

Sorry I haven't been writing much lately. I feel like a broken record in saying that there just isn't much to write about!

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Bone scan

Wow. I am so beyond touched that so many of you generously donated to the Wins for Warriors on behalf of Nathan and me! When I started getting emails letting me know each time someone made a donation, I got choked up and just felt so BLESSED that so many wonderful people read my blog. I set $2000 as my personal goal (even though we were only required to get $100 in donations), thinking that I was shooting for the moon; but in just 24 hours, I'm more than halfway there!

Thank you, thank you, thank you... whether it's $10 or $100, your money is going to help some veterans who really need it. Donations will be accepted until Memorial Day when we run the 9K in Detroit, so if you want to donate and haven't, please know that it is very appreciated!

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This morning, I was scheduled for a bone scan to check out my leg and see if there was still a stress fracture (or a new one) causing the pain just above my ankle. I was a little freaked out when they called to schedule my appointment yesterday, because I was told that they would inject a "radioactive dye" into my arm, and then three hours later, take a series of photographs of my bones. Radioactive dye?! That sounds terrible.

I researched it a little last night and apparently there is no more radiation than an x-ray, so I felt more comfortable with it. The hardest part was going to be killing time between 9:15 and 12:00, because the office was so far from my house that I wouldn't have time to go home and wait for the dye to kick in.

When I got there, the radiologist had me lie down on a table under a big machine, and then she injected the dye with a syringe. She took photos for about 20 minutes as it hit my soft tissues, and then she said that I had to wait three hours for it to get into my bones. I happened to be about a block away from a mall, so I went there to walk around and (hopefully) get some frozen yogurt. I always get excited to go to malls that aren't near my house, because they usually have frozen yogurt shops in them--and we don't have frozen yogurt shops anywhere near where I live.

When I got to the mall, it was around 9:30, and none of the stores opened until 10:00. The were a ton of mall walkers in there, though. I found a little lounge area, and sat there until the stores opened. First, I went to Teavana. We don't have a Teavana near my house, either, so I wanted to get a cup of tea. The guy working there talked me into buying a couple of ounces of a tea that he swears tastes just like a tootsie roll--so he didn't exactly have to twist my arm to buy into that. I had him brew me a cup of a peach white tea to carry around while I browsed the mall.

I'm not a big shopper, so I got bored pretty quickly. At 11:00, I ate lunch in the food court, and then headed back to the medical center to wait until noon. Finally, I went back in the room and laid under the machine again, where she told me it would take 45-60 minutes to get all the pictures. She did photos from my waist down, and it was kind of interesting to see the shapes taking place on the screen over my head.

Femurs

Knees

lower leg/foot

I asked if I could have my phone with me while I laid there, and she said sure--thank goodness, because it would have been a super long hour just staring at that screen!

I won't have the results until my doctor calls me (hopefully tomorrow). The results might actually be in my online chart today--I hope so. My leg hasn't bothered me at all for the past few days, so I'm starting to wonder if I just overreacted to a "normal" twinge or something; but it was really painful for a couple of days.

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The movie poster is finished for the documentary I took part in! From Fat to Finish Line premieres in Nashville on Saturday.

I love the look of the poster! You can see me standing at the starting line right at the neck/chest area of the silhouette on the poster.

Anyway, this film has been in the making for well over two years now (actually, they started the interviews three years ago), so it's very exciting that things are happening now. I wish I was able to go to Nashville this weekend to see it, but plane tickets are $800! That was way more than I could spend, so I planned to use a buddy pass from my brother and fly stand-by.

Well, the flights are full, so that won't be happening. It would have been tough to get away this weekend anyways, because Jerry is working and my mom has plans, leaving no one to watch the kids; so when Brian told me the flights were oversold, I just figured it wasn't meant to happen. The producer, Angela, submitted the film to Phoenix Film Festival and Chicago Film Festival also, so if it is accepted to either of those, I can always go then.

I've been asked about when the film will be on DVD or available on Netflix, and things like that. I honestly don't know--I think Angela will know more after the film festival. I don't know anything about how the film industry works! ;) But, it will be available to the public sooner or later, I do know that. (If you're in the Nashville area, you could always go watch it on Saturday night--most of my team will be there, so make sure you say hello to them!)

On Monday, Jerry and I have plans to go to Grand Rapids for a night with Nathan and his girlfriend, Kendall. Jerry and I went there in January, when I wasn't able to make the flight to Phoenix, and we had so much fun! We've been wanting to go back, and I'm glad that Nathan and Kendall can go, too.

I've got a busy few weeks coming up--Grand Rapids, and then the Glass City Marathon Relay (my sister will be here for a week), and then Indianapolis the following weekend with my Strangers to Sole Mates Ragnar team. I'm SUPER excited for Indy... just praying that I can actually run the race!

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How Running Changed My Brother's Life

I'm really excited about today's post! As I've mentioned before, my younger brother, Nathan, was in the Army for four years. He spent three years in Iraq, and when he came home, he had completely changed. He was very distant, and even though we live just 15 minutes apart, I hardly ever saw him-- maybe about twice a year.

I was very worried about him when he came home and seemed so different. I wanted him to get to know Noah and Eli, but he just didn't seem interested in spending time with us. I felt almost like we were strangers. And I didn't know how to fix that.

A few years ago, he adopted Bailey, a black lab. Once he took her in, I felt like I at least had a conversation starter--I could ask him how Bailey was doing, and if he needed someone to watch Bailey while he was away, my mom or I could do it. I was looking for any reason I could think of to make things "normal" between us, so we could have a closer relationship.

I eventually wrote him a letter, telling him I was worried and that I wished that we could see him more. I told him all my thoughts. After that, I could tell he really started to make an effort to come around more, which was nice.

Last spring, things really started to change for the better. Nathan asked me if I'd like to go for a run with him, because he wanted to train for a 5K. I jumped at the chance to spend some time with him, and I was so excited that he asked me. After that, about once a week, we would go for a run together. It was awesome to be able to chat without any awkwardness. He seemed happier than I'd seen him since before he left for Iraq!

He slowly started dropping weight, and getting faster at running. I ran his first 5K with him, where he left me in the dust before the finish line ;) We've since done a few more races together, too.

He continued to train, and ran his first marathon in October. I was so excited to be able to support his running throughout training and during the race. Running is something I know--so I felt good at supporting him (before he started running, I wasn't sure what to talk to him about; I don't know anything about the Army or war, which had been a huge part of his life).

The change I've seen in Nathan since he started running a little over a year ago is very dramatic. He is healthier and happier than I've ever seen him! I asked him to share a little, in his words, about how running helped his PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder)...

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"I decided to join the Army when the war in Iraq started. Joining the Army was something I always considered, but the war was the final push I needed. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little scared to go to war, but at the same time, I was excited to be a part of it.

There were a few times when I had second thoughts about joining the military, but I always tried to make the best out of each situation. There are times when you’re doing something that’s tougher than anything you’ve done in your life, but you get a great sense of accomplishment afterward. The worst part about being in Iraq was the 110+ degree temperatures—but of course, it was a “dry heat” ;) Over all, though, I actually really enjoyed being deployed. You get to see and do things that most people will never experience.

I was a little nervous to be discharged and come home, but I was more excited than anything. Life in the military is pretty simple and structured, and I didn’t know what to expect when I got home. The adjustment to being a civilian was somewhat challenging—the military, especially being deployed, will desensitize you to normal, everyday problems. I don’t know if it’s just part of being male, but I still find it tough to express my feelings. I tend to just keep things bottled up inside.

I had symptoms of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) when I got home, and I don’t feel very comfortable sharing much about that, but once I got into running (seven years after discharge), I discovered that running alleviated most of the PTSD symptoms. I still have trouble with insomnia (it’s hard to shut my mind off and go to sleep), and I have trouble expressing my feelings, even with my girlfriend; but I find it easy to connect with other veterans. There is a sort of “brotherhood” between veterans that is difficult to find in civilian life.

Running, and training for races, is similar to experiences in the military. I enjoy continually challenging myself—whether it’s longer distance races or faster, short races. With each of those, you have to have a great deal of mental toughness. Even though it sucks at times (like sprinting that last hundred meters of a 5K!), you know that it will eventually end and you will get that feeling of accomplishment.

I'd started running when I saw how much it changed Katie’s life; and I quickly realized that there is a camaraderie among runners, which really drew me into the sport. It doesn’t matter how “fast” or “slow” you are; everyone seems to offer encouragement. When I started running, I figured that I should start eating better. And in turn, I realized that running and eating better made me feel better in general. Running also helped me reconnect with my family, particularly my brother and sisters, because they had all gotten into running; and now we share a common interest. 

My advice for veterans returning home would be to get involved in some sort of veterans group. It’s much easier to relate to other vets, and most have been through similar experiences. I would highly recommend Team RWB* (Red, White, & Blue)—I wish I would have known about them when I was discharged. 

I’ve been consistently running for about a year and a half now, and it really has changed my life in a positive way. It helped to alleviate symptoms of PTSD, brought me closer with my family and gives me a sense of purpose. I also enjoy the health benefits: my blood pressure is back to normal; I lost 50 pounds, bringing me back to a healthy weight; and I just feel more energized throughout the day!"

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*Team RWB is a fantastic organization that helps veterans connect with their community by physical and social activity. As Nathan mentioned, he felt a "brotherhood" with other veterans; Team RWB's mission is to integrate veterans and civilians by doing physical and social activities together. You don't have to be a veteran to join--it's for anyone! I actually recently joined, myself :) 

Needless to say, I am so happy that Nathan found a healthy outlet in running. When he told me about a race coming up on Memorial Day, the Wins for Warriors 9K in Detroit, it completely clicked with me, and I knew I wanted to do it. The Wins for Warriors provides mental health support for Iraq and Afghanistan veterans and their families. These statistics are quite shocking:

• According to a study by RAND, approximately one-third of those who were deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan will experience Post Traumatic Stress, Traumatic Brain Injury and/or Depression. This is attributed to more-frequent deployments, of greater lengths, with shorter rest periods in between. Their research shows that an individual with any of those conditions is more likely to have other psychiatric problems and to attempt suicide.
• The Department of Veterans Affairs released figures showing that every day, 22 veterans take their own lives. That's a suicide every 65 minutes.
• While it is important to understand what the numbers show, it is also necessary to focus on the strengths of all veterans. There has been a shift nationwide to focus away from negative messaging centered around wounds and scars, instead highlighting skills and resiliency.
• Wins for Warriors partners with organizations to provide mental health support for veterans and their families, while also using its platform to be part of the national movement to change the conversation and shift focus to the fact that all veterans can be game changers!

(source)

I LOVE what this cause is doing, so Nathan and I signed up together to raise donations and run the race. We are required to raise $100, but I would love to raise so much more than that (I set a lofty personal goal of $2000)! This is the first race I've done with a fundraiser, and I really want to give it my all. I think it's so important for veterans and their families to have support after the vets get home from deployment.

I'm linking to our fundraising page, and I hope that if you can, you'll considering donating to this cause. It would mean so much to Nathan and me! Thank you so much in advance.

(Update: I've removed the links, now that the fundraiser is over. Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who donated!)

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Motivational Monday #105: Dean the Machine

I have a different sort of Motivational Monday today. It was a slow week for MM submissions, but a HUGE week for one person, so I'm making this a "special edition" of MM... ;)

One of the things I've been very fortunate to witness since starting my blog is the transformation of some of my readers. I get a lot of email from people who are getting started on a health journey, but I really love to get follow-up emails months or even years later--after they've accomplished some awesome milestones. It's exciting (and super motivating) to see their progress!

It's one thing to see someone's before and after photos, but it's quite different (and so exciting) to see their continual progress as it's happening.

One of these stories is Dean's. I know I've bragged about him several times here, but he just hit some major milestones which are totally worth sharing. I normally just share one photo with each submission, but I'd love to recap Dean's progression here with all of his Motivational Monday stories. If you've been reading Motivational Monday since the beginning, you may remember Dean from his first submission, when he ran his first 5K in April 2013...

He had recently lost 34 pounds, and completed his first 5K in 33:27. Just a couple of weeks later, he ran the Glass City 5K, shaving 25 seconds off of his previous time.

Just six weeks after that, Dean ran his first 10K race. He'd set a goal to reach a weight of 225 and run a 10K, and he did it!

Ten weeks after that 10K, Dean had a 10-mile run on his training schedule. He had such a great run that he decided just to add another 5K on there, and run a spontaneous half-marathon in his training! He had lost 60 pounds at this point:

In seeing Dean's progress, and how hard he was working on the weight loss and running, I was so inspired by him that I asked him to join a Ragnar Relay team that I was putting together, and he did. When I learned that he was going to be running the Detroit Free Press Half-Marathon in October for his first "official" half, I asked if he'd like to meet for dinner the day before the race. Jerry and I drove to Detroit to meet up with Dean and his wife, Mandy.

The following day, he ran the Detroit Free Press International Half, and I was thrilled to be there to see him running it after watching his progress on Motivational Mondays!

Just a couple of months later, in December 2013, Dean reached a huge weight loss milestone--100 pounds down!

Around this time, Dean mentioned to me that he decided to shoot for a sub-2:00 half-marathon, and he wanted to know my thoughts as a running coach. He had just finished a half in about 2:15, so I told him that I didn't want to be discouraging, but I thought he should aim for more like 2:10. He thought about it, and then told me that he was going to shoot for sub-2:00 anyway--which would require shaving 15 minutes off of his time in just 4 months!

And you know what? Come April, at his goal race, he ran 1:57! I was shocked, but very excited for him. That was a huge improvement! Next, he told me that he was going to sign up for his first marathon to take place that fall... and that he was going to aim for sub-4:00. Again, I didn't want to discourage him, but I never recommend having a time goal for one's first marathon--it's challenging enough just to finish, let alone worrying about pace. But Dean is honestly the most determined person I've ever met...

And in October 2014, Dean ran his first full marathon in 3:52:43!

That day, I learned that when Dean says he's going to do something... he does it. He could tell me that he'll be the first person to run a sub-2:00 MARATHON one day, and I would bet my life savings that he would.

Since then, Dean has been working hard to reach his goal weight, which has been just a few pounds away for several months now. His goal weight is 173 pounds, which was his wrestling weight in high school. Well, last week, Dean hit it! He weighed in a 173, for a total of 144 pounds lost.

As if that wasn't awesome enough, he celebrated his three-year "runniversary" yesterday by running the same 5K that he ran for his first race. And this time? HE WON THE RACE. Not just his age group... but he was literally the first person to cross the finish line!

He even ate cookies afterward, which you know I totally approve of ;)

Dean has truly transformed right in front of our computer screens, which has been so fun to watch. I feel blessed to have met him, because Dean is, without a doubt, one of the nicest people I've ever met. He has worked harder than I can even imagine, and has more determination than Joey when he chases after Estelle!

(Dean blogs at The Tatted Runner, if you'd like to follow his progress... although I'm not sure if there is any room for improvement from here!)

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Nathan's birthday

I had intended to write a blog post yesterday, but we went over to my parents' house for dinner, and ended up staying a lot later than I thought!

Yesterday morning, I went to the rec center to use the elliptical. I wanted to get in the equivalent of an 11-mile run, so my plan was to do 110 minutes. I got there right when they opened at 9:00, and I saw a bunch of people on the outdoor track, along with tents. I asked what was going on, and it was a track meet! I would have loved to watch it (I've never seen a track meet before), but I was wearing my indoor workout clothes, and I would have frozen to death.

Anyway, I got on the elliptical, and right away, I started wondering how I was going to manage to do it for nearly two hours. The first time I used it, the kids were playing racquetball across from me, which was a nice distraction (when I wasn't breaking up their arguments). Yesterday, though, it was SO boring.

I started to think, "Well, I'll just do an hour" and then "How about 45 minutes?" and ultimately, I ended up doing 30 minutes before calling it quits. There was a machine next to me that looks like the ellipical, but there is a bike seat (so it's like a recumbent bike, but with elliptical pedals). Anyway, I thought maybe if I got on that, I could finish out the 110 minutes I'd intended. After about five minutes on that, I was really uncomfortable. I felt really restless, and I kept trying to shift positions but it didn't help. So, I only did 10 minutes on that, bringing the total workout time to 40 minutes.

I think for my next long run, I'm going to do the deep water running again. That was really comfortable, I enjoyed it, and the time went by quickly (for the most part). I can do the elliptical, but probably only for 30 minutes at a time. Since the weather is getting nicer, though, I can start using my bike outside!

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Jerry and I went to Lowe's in the afternoon to get some stuff for the house (door knobs for the bedroom doors, drawer pulls for the kids' dressers, some trim that needed replacing, etc. Then we spent all afternoon working on that stuff. I love doing "handyman" projects like that--something as simple as a new door knob makes a big difference.

For dinner, my mom invited us over for Nathan's birthday. Nathan turned 31 a few days ago, so she made ribs and pasta, and invited some family over to celebrate. Kendall, Nathan's girlfriend, had a cake made that was really perfect for Nathan! He loves to fish, so she requested a walleye cake. It turned out really good:

It was vanilla cake with vanilla buttercream, so how could I resist?! I had been planning for it all day, though, so I made sure to eat a light breakfast and lunch. The cake was delicious! I was tempted to bring a piece home for later, but I knew it wouldn't have even lasted through the night, so I didn't ;)

My aunts and uncles were talking about how long they've been married, and I think it's awesome that they've been married so long! My parents have been married for 44 years, my Aunt Mickey and Uncle Al have been married 54 years, and my Aunt Pat and Uncle Tom have been married for 40 years. It's not very often you hear of people being married that long.

Anyway, we played a game of Thirty-One and then headed home. I was super exhausted for some reason, and was in bed by 10:30.

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Don't forget that tomorrow is Motivational Monday! If you have a photo and accomplishment you'd like to share, you can check out how to do so here.

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Ortho appointment

I woke up just before 6:00 this morning, and I really wanted to sleep in longer--there was no reason for me to get up that early, but I just couldn't fall back asleep. So I laid in bed and checked my email on my phone. I got an email from my health record account to confirm the appointment I just made for the orthopedist, and when I opened it, I saw that it said the appointment was for Friday, April 10, at 8:30 AM. I KNOW that the receptionist told me Monday! I had written it down, along with the directions and suite number and all that.

I spent a couple of minutes trying to decide what to do, and then I figured I'd better go, just in case my appointment was actually this morning (it was too early to call to confirm). I jumped in the shower and got ready very quickly. Thankfully, Jerry was off work today and was able to be here with the kids!

I drove to the medical center, and sure enough--my appointment was TODAY. Thank goodness I'd seen the email this morning! There was no waiting at all, which was nice. I got checked in and everything, and then before I even saw the doctor, they had me walk to radiology for x-rays. I had to change into paper shorts, which were way too big, and walk down the hall in them. I felt a little ridiculous ;)

After my x-rays, I went back to the doctor's office, and he came in to go over the x-rays and figure out what's going on with my leg. (I love that x-rays are digital now! The images were uploaded into the computer before I even walked back down the hall from radiology.)

When the doctor came in, he said something like, "It's been a few years--how are you?" And I was really confused what he meant by that. It wasn't until I left later on that I realized that I saw him in 2012 when I had a knee injury! I should have gone to see him in February, instead of that podiatrist who told me to quit running, but this doctor's office is a long drive away and I honestly didn't think I had a stress fracture at the time.

Anyway, I told him the whole timeline of events with my ankle/lower leg. He looked at the x-rays and said that the x-rays looked normal. There was a teeny tiny shadow which he said was probably where the stress fracture was (the one that was diagnosed in February), but it was healed and he couldn't see anything new.

However, he said that stress fractures usually don't show up on an x-ray, so he also ordered a bone scan (which I'll have to get next week). From my symptoms, and where he could localize the pain, he said it sounds like it's a stress fracture. The good news is that it's on my fibula, which isn't a weight-bearing bone, so I won't need a boot or anything like that. He said that low-impact exercise is okay, as long as it doesn't bother my leg.

To get to the root of the problem, and avoid this happening again, he ordered a gait analysis. I'll have to go to a clinic and run on a treadmill, where they'll film me and analyze my stride and all that to see if there is anything out of whack. This should be good information to have for the future!

I asked about my shoes, because I was curious if he thought that they could be causing the problem, and he said the Altras are fine--there is no reason that those should be causing the stress fractures. If anything, they should make stress fractures less likely, because they cause a mid-foot strike. The only other thing would be overtraining, but when I described my training, he said that my training is not an issue, either. So hopefully the gait analysis will reveal some insight.

And as for the big question: Can I run Indy?

He asked if I would be okay with doing only low-impact exercise from now until Indy, and I said sure. So then he said that he thinks I should be okay to run Indy, as long as I do it at a very easy pace and not have any expectations of a time goal (I didn't anyway, so that's fine). So my plan is to do the elliptical, the bike, and deep water running 4-6 days a week to maintain fitness. I did a 10-miler last weekend, so I am confident I can handle a (slow) half-marathon in the shape I'm in now (if not for my leg issue). He basically said that if I were to try and run through the pain right now, it would likely get much worse; but if I can do only low-impact exercise for a few weeks, I should be able to handle the Indy half.

After the doctor gets the results of the bone scan and gait analysis, we can figure out a plan as far as preventing this from happening again. But I left the office today feeling a hundred times better than I did yesterday! I'm actually looking forward to doing the elliptical and bike for cross training.

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It's National Siblings Day! When I was a kid, I wish I'd known how much I was going to enjoy having siblings when I was older. We fought so much when we were little, but now we have so much fun together. I wish that we all lived in the same state, but thankfully we can all get together a couple times a year. I love my siblings!

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