May 03, 2021

How to Haunt Your Spouse

I'm really not in the mood to do the Affirmators! card today, so I'm going to skip it for now. Jerry is off work and we were cracking up earlier while talking about how we would each haunt each other if we become ghosts after we die. It all started with a yawn...

When Jerry and I were dating, I remember yawning one time, and Jerry used his finger to tap my tongue while my mouth was wide open. It instantly killed my yawn, and it was totally unsatisfying! If you've ever gotten interrupted mid-yawn, you know what that feels like.

Every once in a while, we'll do that to each other just for a laugh. I don't like having my yawn killed midway, but Jerry despises it--it drives him crazy! (For the record, he started it.)

Anyway, he killed my yawn today while we were talking, and I said, "When I die, I'm going to come back and haunt you by killing your yawn every time!" And he looked as if I'd just told him that I put arsenic in his coffee. He thought for a moment and then said, "I'm going to haunt YOU by turning the toilet paper roll the wrong way!"

And then it was game on. We just picked out each other's idiosyncrasies and exploited them...

Katie: "I'm going to make your coffee turn cold as soon as it hits the cup."

Jerry: "I'm going to turn all the clean laundry inside-out."

Katie: "I'm going to take away all of the Q-tips so you never have any in the house."

Jerry: "I'm going to turn the thermostat up to 69 while you're asleep."

Katie: "I'm going to make the water cold every time you take a shower."

Jerry: "I'm going to put cat hair in your ice maker."

Katie: "I'm going to change all of your preset radio stations to country music."

Jerry: "I'm going to set the autocorrect on your phone from 'there' to 'their' and 'too' to 'to'.

Katie: "I'm going to make all of your movies buffer while you watch them."

Jerry: "I'm going to make the fitted sheet on the bed all wrinkled."

Katie: "I'm going to drop your cell phone signal randomly. Hell, I'll take it to 3G!"

Jerry: "OHHHH. I'll take you off the 'Do Not Call; Registry!"

Katie: "TOO FAR. This is getting out of hand. If you die first, I'm going to have you cremated."

Jerry: "Well if you die first, I'm going to have you buried."

We were laughing SO hard each time we came up with another one. We definitely know which buttons to push on each other to be as annoying as possible, haha. What would be the most annoying thing someone could do to haunt you? It's funny, out of all the things we came up with, I think the one that would bother me the most would be the autocorrect on my phone! I try so hard not to care when I make a grammar or spelling mistake, but I just can't NOT fix it.

We know each other well, that's for sure! And we really started acting like the parents of teenagers when we asked Eli if he knows of any Snapchat filters we could use for ghosts photos. We then spent 20 minutes doubled over laughing at the photos we took. So fun!


  1. Leave all the cabinets in the kitchen open
    Erase every single thing on the dry erase board except for one line
    Replace the toilet paper roll with a full one but put it on top of the holder
    Put the empty milk carton back in the fridge
    Put the trash on the counter next to the trash can

  2. This was such a fun post!

  3. You guys are hilarious! (And the TP thing would totally tick me off!) Love the ghost filters -- the 2nd one is cracking me up. 😂

  4. I am cracking up at your ghost pictures! You two have to be the cutest couple ever!

  5. You guys are so cute - couple goals for sure!

  6. This is hysterical! I love this way of showing your fabulous relationship. You two rock.

  7. You guys crack me up. What a great and fun marriage you have!

  8. Super funny. Thanks - needed a laugh today.

  9. This is so funny!

    Similarly, my husband and I recently talked about what outlandish thing we would say to the other to indicate we’d been kidnapped without alerting the kidnapper. Ha! He’s to track my phone and call 911 if he ever hears me say “Hey! Did you know the dirt track races are THREE days this weekend?! I can’t wait to go!”

  10. I once killed my husband's sneeze by going "AHHHHHH" in a big inhale the second I noticed him inhaling to sneeze. I think that's even more unsatisfying than killing a yawn! I did feel so bad that he "lost" his sneeze and I vowed never to do it again!


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