Saturday, December 15, 2012

Sad

I've been feeling so sad all day today. I know I should turn off the news, but I can't stop watching. And I can't watch it without crying. I feel so, so bad for all the people who were somehow involved with the horrible tragedy in Newtown.

I keep thinking of how scared those poor kids must have been, how those teachers had to make split-second decisions that could impact whether they lived or died, the parents who were waiting to hear if their children would be coming home, and even the police officers who had to walk in there and see all of those children's bodies. (I can't even type all this without crying).

My boys are both in elementary school, and the thought of them going through something like that is almost too much to bear. I asked them if they do lockdown drills at school, and they do--they explained to me what they were told to do. Eli asked me a bunch of questions about it, and I answered them the best I could without scaring him. Schools really ought to have panic rooms in all their classrooms--sad, but true.

This whole thing makes me scared to even let my kids out of my sight. It seems like kids aren't safe anywhere anymore. And they have to grow up so fast, seeing and learning about things that they shouldn't have to at this age.

Anyway, sorry this is a depressing post--but I'm sure most everyone is feeling this heartbreak today as well. Will hopefully have a most positive post tomorrow :)

21 comments:

  1. The first time they did a panic drill in my sons 1st grade class it was so hard not to break down in tears as I explained to my 6 year old why they have to do that ... I cannot even begin to imagine how the community and the parents/children are coping. It is so heartbreaking and without reason.

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  2. I couldn't agree with you more. I had Bear (he's in Kindergarten)tell me what they do if a bad person comes to school. It made me feel a bit better, but his class room is literally one of the first as you enter school. It's hard to not worry.

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  3. I know how you feel. My older 2 kids are in 1st grade and K, so I can't stop thinking if them being in that situation. It's the hardest thing to comprehend. Don't apologize, this is extremely sad and not easy to get over.

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  4. I'm feeling the same as you. I can't stop watching even though it's so upsetting and I can't stop crying over it. It's just so awful.

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  5. I echo exactly how you feel. I have cried so much since first hearing what happened that my eyes burn constantly and my head hurts. Don't apologize at all. This has rocked everyone and is horrible. I just don't know how any of those even remotely involved will recover.......that makes me start crying all over again to even think about.

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  6. It's awful and so hard to imagine. My daughter is in 3rd grade and at the beginning of the year they did drills for "bad people" getting in to the school. As she told me about it and showed me her hiding spot I had to fight the tears. My children can't have the childhood I had not that long ago because like you said they have to grow up so fast. School was supposed to be safe. When they said Kindergarten I just pictured my daughter's K class and the room and the babies. It's such a scary world we live in.

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  7. I hope all the concerned parents posting here contact their elected representatives. Speaking as a citizen of a different country, your schools don't need panic rooms; your country needs stricter gun laws!

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  8. I am a mom of 2 boys C is in K and P is in 4th grade. I am also a Kindergarten teacher. This is every teachers worse nightmare...Every moms biggest fear. My thoughts and prayers go out to the people of Newtown.

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  9. It's so surreal.. like how could that happen to a small normal school??

    My dad was a Principal growing up, so hearing about the Principal getting shot made me really upset. That might have been someones father.

    I was in Junior High (grades 7-9 in Canada) during Columbine. A little while after Columbine we had death threats and shooting threats pass through our school, targeted at specific students(some my friends) and of course, my dad was a target of in the planned shooting. Thank goodness the student was caught, but it's still scary. It's scary that Children are capable of hurting each other, and that ADULTS are capable of killing children. It's truly heartbreaking. A great moment to be thankful for all that you have.

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  10. All I can do is cry, and pray that I never have to know that sorrow.

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  11. My son is 17, in 12th grade, and as big as Paul Bunyon... but the fear and pain still hit me... he's still my baby and always will be. When he's driving me crazy, as a teen will do, I still thank the Lord for my baby.
    LauraLaz

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  12. I also have 2 kids in elementary schools. It's just so very sad. I need to quit watching the news. I can't imagine what these families are going through. I asked my kids if they have lock down drills and they said no. I guess i need to contact school administrators. I too live in small town America, where there's a sense of safety.

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  13. Thank you for this post. I don't follow many blogs regularly but I do check in on yours pretty much every day. When I checked to see how my regular bloggers responded I was really disappointed that only 2 addressed the tragedy. It would have been different if the others didn't post anything at all but they just went on with their regular post for the day. I know bloggers can write what they want but I'm sure loyal readers appreciate knowing that you are human like all of us. So, thank you again. Your post meant a lot to me and I echo the exact sentiments as you.

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  14. Katie, I think you just echo what we are all feeling. My daughter Reagan is four and a half years old. I can't even imagine the horror that those poor children endured in those few minutes of the shooting let alone the child survivors - some were told to close their eyes so they wouldn't have more devestation to remember. It makes me so incredibly sad that these drills are now a norm in schools. I'm 42 years old and the only kind of drills we ever had in Northwest Indiana were tornado and fire drills. And thank you for posting your feelings - hugs.

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  15. Thanks for being real, Katie. I feel the same way.

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  16. The whole thing is very difficult to comprehend. My way of dealing with horrific things like this is to try not to think about them. I know that's avoidance, but if you can avoid it, that is, if you're not directly involved in a situtation, I have found that simply trying NOT to think about it too much, to be the best way for me to deal with it. Sometimes I have awful guilt over my attitude when I was taking care of my Dad while he was in Hospice in his home. I never spoke of my resentment to him, but he was perceptive and I'm pretty sure he knew. It makes me feel awful now, just writing about it. I remember once, his girlfriend's daughter-in-law (who helped me take care of both of them) telling me, "At least we won't have guilt....later." But I do, because of my attitude. So I try not to think about it too much.

    I spent the day at an inner city school Wednesday, substitute teaching. All the doors to that school are locked except the front doors by the office. Still, they said he forced his way in (through a window?), so I have to conclude it's pretty impossible to be safe anywhere. But to attack those innocent babies....unthinkable. So I can't think about it anymore, or I will start crying like you. Oh, it's too late, I already am.

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  17. Even if you don't have kids, you can't help but feel guilty because you can imagine your classroom in first grade. Who lucky are we, that we can look back on it? It's unfathomable. A few years ago we had someone go crazy in an Amish schoolhouse in a similar fashion, and I had hoped that'd be the worst of it. Seems there's no end to "the worst" of it, after all.

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  18. I'm trying to limit how much news I watch during the day but when I am watching.... the tears flow... those poor, poor, people...

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  19. I haven't even turned on the news because the thought of hearing about this bad guy will make me so angry and then to think about all those kids who are literally my oldest sons age. I asked about lock down drills, and it doesn't sound like they have done one. I am sure his school will do one now, they have a great staff.

    As I get ready for his teachers christmas present, I keep thinking, there isn't enough I could give her, because I know she is such a wonderful mom and teacher that would take care of all of her classroom kids if there was an issue.

    it all is so sad. CT / our kids having to live in a world like this.

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  20. I agree thinking of your own children going through that horror is bone chilling. My thoughts and prayers go out to all those affected and to our nation...

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  21. Katie, I have been the very same way. Any time I think about it I just break into tears. I was out shopping when I first heard it on the radio and I had to sit in the parking lot for 15 minutes before I could quit crying enough to go in the store. I have two boys in the 1st and 6th grade and I help out in my 1st graders class every week. I cannot imagine anyone ever wanting to hurt such innocent children. I know the school does lockdown drills and every classroom has an emergency exit door to the outside where the children can easily make it to the parking lot, playgrounds, the ball fields or an open field next to the school, but it is just so scary. I feel so terrible for all those directly involved....it's just beyond comprehension.

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