On My Mind

I haven't exactly kept it a secret that I've had a very tough year or so. I've mentioned it several times, but always kind of cryptically because it wasn't something I felt was my choice to share. I really can't stand it when people write cryptic things on social media, basically just asking for people to ask them what is going on, so I tried not to make it a big deal when I mentioned it here.

There were actually about five different things that were stressful, sad, and/or overwhelming, and I probably won't be able to write about most of them. The major one, though, that has been on my mind almost non-stop, is finally at the point where I can write about it. I write this so that I can stop being so vague when I am feeling down, and it may be understandable why I've been so emotional (basically since last summer).

My brother, Brian, and Becky got divorced last month. Brian and Becky are Luke and Riley's parents, so this is understandably devastating. The divorce was amicable, though, which definitely made it easier than it could have been.

The hardest part for me is that Becky and the kids are moving to Minnesota next weekend. I know I don't "owe" an explanation, but I feel it's important to explain the reason for the move. Brian lived in Minnesota for years--probably about 15-20 years?--and that's where he met Becky. Becky's entire family lives there (including Luke and Riley's cousins, who are about the same ages as them) so it seemed natural that she'd want to move back there after the divorce.

When we got in the car yesterday, Riley told me that she looked like "a hot mess"--hahaha!

With Brian being a pilot, his schedule is kind of all over the place; however, it also gives him flight privileges (he can basically fly anywhere whenever he wants). The kids also have flying privileges, but Becky will not now that the divorce is final. So, it made sense for Becky to bring the kids to Minnesota with her. (Luke and Riley are used to going back and forth to Minnesota several times a year.)

Becky is an AMAZING mom and I know she would only do what is best for the kids. I'm not at all questioning her decision to move and I know the kids will be happy there. It's just so HARD for my family. I don't know how often the kids will come out here, since Brian can go to Minnesota for his time with them, but I like to think it will be often. I do know that they will be spending a lot of time here in the summer, so I'll definitely take advantage of that.

This whole thing has been super hard on everyone (especially Brian and Becky), but they are doing what they believe is best for the kids--and that's what is most important to everyone involved.

Yesterday when we took Luke and Riley out for Luke's birthday, it was really tough--I knew it was going to be the last time I'll see them while they still live in Michigan. Brian is taking them to Hilton Head for a long weekend starting on Wednesday, while Becky packs and gets ready for the move (I'm going to help her). Then Brian will take them to Minnesota. Luke and Riley seemed very positive about the move when we talked about it yesterday, which was reassuring.

Needless to say, though, this whole thing has been heartbreaking and whenever I think too much about it, I get really emotional. I would like to continue to do the birthday tradition of Barnes & Noble for each of them (in March and August) so we may go out to Minnesota or make plans for when they are here. Thankfully, I love Minnesota! I wish it was drivable (it technically is, but it's about 15 hours--not worth two full days of travel for a trip).

This picture was for Aunt Jeanie, because we saw a basset hound puppet

I loved seeing Luke and Noah talking in the backseat. Luke was very interested in a video game on Noah's phone.

I also adore Becky and I'm going to miss her SO much. I don't even have to say how much I will miss being able to see the kiddos whenever I want. I know Brian will be okay, but I feel awful for him, too--he's not open about his emotions, but I know this has been unquestionably hard on him.

This picture was from when Becky and I had no idea we were going to be flying at the same time, let alone the same flight to Portland! I saw her on the plane and the flight attendant basically played musical chairs so we could sit together.

Anyway, I've been wanting to write about this for a while, but like I said--it's not my story to tell. I asked if it was okay to share the basic info, which I've done here, so that I don't have to be so vague about "things on my mind". I'm sad! I know everything is going to be fine, but I just feel heartbroken that everything turned out this way.

I still want to be "the fun aunt" so I'm going to make the most of every moment I can with Luke and Riley!

(Usually I publish all non-spam comments, but because of the nature of this post, I'm not going to publish any negative comments or questions about Brian and Becky's parenting or choices or anything like that. They are fantastic parents and they both want what is best for their kids.)

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On This Day (March 11)

Today was a busy day--we took Luke and Riley out for Luke's birthday. As has become tradition, we went to Barnes & Noble so they could pick out a "book" and then lunch/dinner somewhere. When I started this tradition, I literally meant a book; well, the joke was on me when they saw the toys section! Since toy stores are pretty much non-existent these days, Barnes & Noble it is--and they have fun toys there.

Noah and Eli came with us, which made me happy. It's so hard to get everybody on the same page with schedules! Jerry had to work today, but we made an afternoon of it. I am not up for writing tonight, so I'm going to just share some pictures from March 11 over the years. There are some good memories here!

This was in 2006 at Chuck E. Cheese. The band characters have always been the creepiest things ever.

This was when I was losing weight in 2010. Wearing a dress was kind of a "bucket list" goal, and I remember feeling SO good about myself at the time. I *think* I had lost about 75 pounds at this point.

Jessica and I enjoying our celebratory beer after running the Corktown 5K in Detroit in 2012. I obviously made our sparkle skirts for the St. Patrick's Day festivities!

In 2014, a love note from Jerry, attached to my tea.

In 2016, I went for a run (I think it was 10 miles, if I remember correctly) and I asked Noah to come with me on his bike. He carried a backpack with water in it for me. I love this picture!

Also in 2016... this was Jessica's birthday party at a Mexican restaurant. She, Renee, and I were pretty close then! I miss those times. We met at a Mom's Club--I have two boys, Renee has three, and Jessica has FOUR.

Jerry went to visit our friend Mike in NYC (also 2016) and I told him he should try the November Project workout while he was there--I had done one with Runner's World a couple of years prior and I knew that Ali Feller ("Ali on the Run") really liked those workouts (she was at the Runner's World event with me). I told Jerry to look for her at the workout, not even thinking for a second he'd actually see her--but he sent me this selfie at 7:00 in the morning :)

Sweet Luke--just a few days after he was born in 2017 <3

In 2018, Jerry and I went for a run and we randomly saw this dog standing on a fire hydrant. Haha! The owner was a dog obedience trainer and explained to us what was going on. (Basically showing that you can teach your dog to do anything with obedience training.)

A selfie from our run that morning.

This was from 2020--the toilet paper shelves at Kroger! Remember that mess?

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Friday Night Photos #107

Some weeks, I have more pictures than I know what to do with; others, I don't have many at all. This is one of the latter weeks. I already posted a lot of photos I took (like my thrift store finds) but here is what I have on my camera roll this week...

I woke up to our inevitable March snow storm...

Yes, that is Joey on the dike. He gets super hyper when it snows and he loves to race around the yard.

Yesterday, I decided to work on a couple of projects for the "cat wall" in my bedroom. I have so many things I want to do for it, but I've just been choosing one thing at a time; the cats really like it, because they get something new and exciting to check out whenever I finish a piece. It was too cold to work in the garage (I cut some boards, but after that, I brought all my stuff inside!). This is before it got messy.

I had already hung one of the sphere beds (the black one), but every time I looked at this one, I wanted to do the same with it. I really wish it was white or black, or even gray, but I used it anyway. I mounted it onto a board that I painted black and then hung it next to the other one, underneath the top shelf on the wall.

The other thing I made is this little bridge--some flat boards woven with rope--that the cats will totally be into scratching once I hang it up. Right now, the skin on my hands is raw--it took a LONG time to weave and not without a lot of tugging. It's definitely not easy on the hands. 

I used hot glue on every single piece. I am going to hang it between two shelves on the wall. I hoped to hang it today, but this took me a lot longer than I expected.

The cats never slept in this bed, and then I moved it into my bedroom and suddenly, it was like a new toy and they all wanted it. After hanging it on the wall, Duck is actually the one that uses it the most. 

It hangs directly above my head when I'm lying in bed. Last night, I had all the star LED lights on and when I stared straight upward, I could see Duck's leg sticking out through the side of the bed. It just looked funny--the random black spot that probably doesn't even look like a cat paw, but I knew what it was immediately.

Speaking of the LED stars, I am loving how they look against the black ceiling and walls. Maybe it makes us seem like stoners, but we love the whole ambiance with the lights. I had no intention of the ceiling light looking like a moon, but it kind of does! 

When I was looking through my pictures, I stopped on this one and wondered why I took it. It's nothing special. And THEN I saw it and I remembered...

Hahaha! I remember learning that black dogs are the least adopted because they are the least photogenic--they have to be against a light background to be able to see them clearly. And my bedroom conceals Joey and the kittens so well that I sometimes don't even see the cats when their eyes are closed.

This picture below is another example. You can't really see Duck at first, but he's there--sleeping on my chest.

I didn't realize I took so many pictures of the pets this week. I don't normally like to turn on YouTube for the cats (i.e. Duck) because it makes me feel bad that they can't "catch" the birds that they stalk. But I was desperate one morning because I was trying to get things done and Duck wanted attention (per usual). 

I had some time to kill before Goodwill opened the other day, and I went next door into Tractor Supply Co. My heart melted when I saw these little ducklings. 

I just now said to Jerry, "I can't tell if these are chicks or ducks--they look like ducks." (I know they sell chicks at Tractor Supply, but I thought the ducks were a little odd.) Jerry was confused and said something that made ME confused. And then he said he thought I was asking if "these" (he didn't see the picture I was looking at) belonged to Chick or Duck. Hahaha! ("I can't tell if these are Chick's or Duck's--they look like Duck's."

Then he had to go and make a dad joke about "Quactor Supply Co". *groan*

Finally, this was my mess when I made spice blends. I make our favorite spice blends in bulk to keep in the pantry and we were running low. I actually find it kind of fun to make the blends.

When I was done, I had vegan bouillon powder; "cheesy garlic blend", which is what I like to use in place of parmesan cheese; pancake mix; Indian spiced potato seasoning, and a mock-Red Robin fries seasoning blend. (Jerry likes to spray a touch of oil on pretzels and then sprinkle with the Red Robin seasoning and toss them all together. It dusts a light coat of seasoning on all of them and they are SO good! Jerry loves seasoned pretzels, and making them this way is about a quarter of the cost of buying a bag.)

And I'm out. Have a great weekend! xo

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Three Things Thursday: Pets

Jerry and I were talking about the pets this afternoon and I thought it would be fun to do a "Three Things Thursday" post about them. Here are three things that I love about each pet (in the order that we adopted them):

Phoebe

1. Phoebe can sense emotions and no matter where she is or what she's doing, if she hears someone crying, she goes to them and climbs as close to their face as possible. 

2. Phoebe is super subtle yet passive-aggressive when she wants to be petted. She will walk up to you and stare for a minute; if you ignore her staring, she takes one paw and places it on your arm. Then she just holds it there until you feel bad for her and you pet her. It's the saddest--and sweetest--gesture!

3. Even for her size, Phoebe is a spitfire and and she sounds like a bobcat when she gets mad. She weighs less than five pounds (for reference, Duck is 13 pounds!) but she even scares me in certain situations. I have to cut her nails just a few in each sitting, otherwise she gets more and more annoyed and starts growling. Once she growls, I leave her alone because as loving as she is, she doesn't hold back for anyone!

Estelle

1. Estelle thinks that she's being coy whenever you look at her or walk over to her--she may turn in a circle, sit down calmly, and look at you lovingly--but when you reach for her, she makes this little annoyed-sounding "mew mew mew" and runs away. Usually, she'll run under my bed. It's like she thinks she's hurting my feelings by running away from me; even when I'm not going after her! Basically, she adores attention but she doesn't want you to *know* that she adores attention.

2. Estelle is as dramatic as they come. She loves to play the victim. Sometimes, she'll walk in front of Joey then dramatically fall over and meow like he's hurting her. I've seen her do the same thing to Duck. Duck gets really excited when it's time for their "special food" (just canned food--all the pets love it) and he runs around to gather all the pets. When he races up to Estelle, she does her dramatic fall and cry, like Duck just pushed her down a flight of stairs or something, haha. 

3. Estelle is super determined when she wants to sit or lie somewhere--she has some serious ninja skills when it comes to balance. Aside from her balance, she just doesn't give up when she wants to sit on your lap, for example--no matter how you contort your body or get up and down over and over, she insists on securing whatever spot it is that she wants.

Joey

1. Joey is simply a damn good dog! We got so lucky when we chose him from the shelter. He was there for three months before we adopted him and I'm super grateful that we are the ones who became his "forever" family. He's not at all aggressive (sometimes Duck will even go stick his head in Joey's food bowl to see what Joey is eating, and Joey is totally chill about it). He stays with us when he's off leash; even when there is another animal or person, he listens and stays where we tell him. 

2. Joey is kind of like a cat, even though he's a lab-chow mix (looking nothing like a cat). I joke that he thinks he's a cat because he's around four cats all the time and he does pick up their mannerisms. One thing that I really love is how respectful he is of the cats; when I give all the pets their "special food" once a day, Joey finishes his immediately and waits for the cats to finish. He knows that he gets to lick the plates clean when they are done, so he patiently sits down and waits for me to give him the go ahead. Once in a while, I will totally forget that he's waiting, and 20 minutes later I'll notice him still sitting and watching the plates! He doesn't clean up the plates until I tell him it's okay. What kind of dog has that kind of restraint? ;)

3. Joey likes to show off his toys. Whenever someone comes over, he trots over to his toy box and digs around in there for whatever it is he's looking for, then brings it to the person, like, "Look what I have!" Jerry, the kids, and I will NEVER forget a time when we were all going somewhere in the car and we backed out of the driveway, then slowly drove past the house. We saw Joey standing in front of the living room window watching us, with a ball in his mouth, tail wagging back and forth like crazy as he watched us drive past. It was so heartbreaking!

Chick

1. Chick is SUPER chill. He reminds me a lot of Chandler in that way. Even though Phoebe hates other cats, she is most likely to put up with Chick. He's incredibly laid back and doesn't get scared of anything like the other cats do. He likes to be held like a baby and to have his belly rubbed. If Joey is like a cat, well, Chick reminds me of a very calm dog.

2. Chick sounds human when he's looking for Duck. He calls out, "HELLO?! HELLO?!" and you can hear him through the whole house. Jerry imitates it really well and it never fails to make me laugh. 

3. Chick is the fearless one. It's funny--Chick and Duck were from the same litter and we adopted them at the same time. However, Chick is fearless and Duck is scared of everything. I love that Chick is the first to try new things--when I put up the cat shelves in my room, for instance, Duck clearly wanted to check them out. He was scared, though, until he watched Chick do it first. If Chick was a person, he would be a fun stoner who likes to try new things... because YOLO.

Duck

1. I saved Duck for last because, if it isn't obvious, he's my very favorite. I love all of our pets, but I have never felt as close to a pet as I do with Duck. We have a special bond. Something that makes me feel really good is that Duck looks to me for comfort. He has terrible anxiety (we are spirit animals, Duck and me) and when he's scared, I can see the panic on his face. When I call out to him, I can visibly see his body relax and he comes over to me so I can hold or pet him. He trusts me completely. (The downside is that he gets super jealous when I pay attention to anything or anyone other than him.)

2. Duck is a total chatterbox. This could be something that could fit into a "like" or "dislike" column, depending on my mood. Most of the time, I love that Duck "talks" to me all day long. He follows me around and there are certain noises he makes for different things he wants. He makes a short, quick chirp when he just wants my attention--when he wants me to know he's there. He has a series of long and short meows, but his most common is "Ma?" like my kids used to ask, "Mama?"

3. Duck has the biggest personality of any cat I've ever known. He's as smart as a whip and 'curious' doesn't even begin to describe what goes on in his mind. You can SEE his mind working when something piques his interest, and he's great at figuring out solutions when he wants something. When cat-proofing stuff, I have to think beyond what the average cat would do; Duck is on a whole different playing field!

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Okay, this post took me MUCH longer to write than I intended! Actually, it was looking through photos that took forever--I have hundreds of the pets and I had such a hard time picking them. This was a fun post to write, though; I love our pets <3 

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Wednesday Weigh-In: Week 93

I just realized I'm approaching Week 100 since I started losing weight (in May 2021). Not that 100 is a big deal in this case, but it's one of those nice, round numbers that feels special somehow. I immediately started thinking of some sort of challenge I can do between now and Week 100, but I am going to nip that in the bud right now. The only thing I want to be focused on is staying in good eating habits (and training for the 10K with Nathan).

I had a pretty good week; there were a couple of days, however, that I ended up eating all out of whack (by that, I just mean not like my typical day or circumstances). It's been very hard not to eat emotionally lately; I've still got a lot of personal stuff I'm dealing with and hopefully I'll be able to write about it soon. I've managed to keep from snacking every night, though, so I'd hoped that I would see another nice loss on the scale... unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

I was at 144.6, which is exactly where I was last week. I can't say I'm surprised, though--my weight hasn't really budged all week. Last week, I'd lost over three pounds, so it's possible that I didn't lose anything this week because I dropped so much last week. I'm not going to analyze it!

Since Jerry wants to work on portion sizes this week, I thought it would be a good time for me to do that, too. Like I said yesterday, I tend to eat more just because something is plant-based--it's like my mind subconsciously assumes it's healthy. I have a very hard time weighing and/or measuring my food once I get out of that habit, but I've gotten back into the routine where I eat the same breakfast and lunch. If I eat a "normal" sized dinner and a healthy snack in the evening, I should be eating about the right amount of calories I need for the day.

My routine is going to be thrown way off at the end of the month, because I'm going to Illinois to dog-sit for my sister's basset hounds. I am going to be totally out of my element, and staying away from home for the first time since becoming vegan, so I'm not sure how it's going to go. I'm not worried about eating vegan--I can live on bread and peanut butter if I need to--but I don't want to throw off my weight loss mojo! ;) 

This is SO nerdy but I'm actually pretty excited right now to go into the kitchen and mix up some spice blends, haha. There are several that I like to make large jars of to keep in the pantry and we're running low on a few of them. I don't know why I find it so fun to mix spices in the blender!

Anyway, hoping (as always) for a good week ahead :)

By the way, today is Luke's sixth birthday. Can you believe that I've been an aunt for SIX YEARS now? I think we're going to take Luke and Riley to Barnes & Noble for their birthday tradition (choose a "book" for your birthday, where "book" usually always ends up being a toy, haha). I always enjoy taking them there--it's like being a kid again!

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Jerry Loses His Dad Bod: Week 8

This week went by so quickly I'm not even really sure what to say about it. I definitely noticed Jerry being more careful about his portions and about how much food he takes to work with him (he is always saying that he takes too much and if he brings it with him, he eats it--whether he's hungry or not). It's been kind of nice having us both on the same page as far as our eating habits go, though!

I won't speak for Jerry about his week, so I'll shift the spotlight over to him...

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Welcome back to another episode of 'Jerry Loses His Dad Bod'. I'm your host, Jerry. And I'm trying to lose my dad bod. Over the last couple weeks it's been increasingly difficult to get the weight off. I do feel like there is a plateau and I've run right into it.

I'm only down 0.2 from before. Does that even count? I started at 193.6 at the beginning of this dad bod thing. 

Think of the weight loss as the cartoon road runner... and that would make ME Wile E. Coyote. All my weight loss ideas and attempts I make are ACME products and I just keep getting blown up or run into the ground. I'm always going back to the drawing board and trying to figure out what went wrong. I've come to the following conclusions: 

1. I need to start weighing or measuring out my food. My portions might be too big. I always make excuses in my head about the fact that the food I eat is plant-based. However, calories are calories in the long run. I haven't been super snacky, and I have been eating more fruits. But, ultimately, I have been eating too large portions of feed and it's getting me. 

2. Exercise. I ran once last week and felt okay. I didn't push myself too hard and stopped when I started to feel pain in my knees. In the past I've run through the pain to finish a run. I'm thinking it's only made my knees worse. So, I'm going to finally listen to Katie and just start slow and build up to the milage I want and stop when the pain comes. 

Overall, I think of myself as healthier than a lot of people my age. All of my numbers have always been good. And I am making progress, very slow as it may be. 

Stuff on the horizon... well, I'm trying to fix my car which wouldn't start the other day. I found that the battery was dead and needed to be replaced. Normally it's an easy fix by just replacing the battery but the cable end on one of the battery posts was somehow fused to the post and the terminal pulled completely from the battery. I'm waiting on parts to finish that up. Katie's already working on making a sexy calendar of me posing in front of my hot rod.

Season 3 of Star Wars; The Mandalorian started last week and I'm waiting for the kids to both be home so we can all watch it together, and I'm excited for that. 

Anyways, thanks for reading. Always. Your comments are always welcome and always so nice. Til next week, this is the way. 

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Katie here again. I really like reading Jerry's thoughts each week--we don't normally talk about our eating habits, so it's kind of news to me too when I read his post every Tuesday. I can definitely echo a lot of his thoughts--especially about using vegan/plant-based food as a reason to eat more. Even though it's totally subconscious, I think that sometimes because of my vegan diet, I probably eat more than I should. (And yes, I did just recently write about how it's very possible to eat an unhealthy vegan diet!)

Well, my weigh-in is tomorrow and even though I've had a good week, I don't expect to see a big loss on the scale. All week, my weight has been up a touch from last week. I'm drinking lots of water today, so hopefully it'll help me let go of enough water weight to see a tiny loss on the scale! One of the most frustrating parts about losing weight is when you know you've done really well but it's just not reflected on the scale. I think that's a critical point, though--it's super easy to quit then--so if we keep going, it'll catch up eventually.

Now I need to go take a hot shower. I was working on the storm door outside and it's 30℉; it doesn't sound too cold for Michigan, but when you're standing out there for a couple of hours, the cold goes right into your bones. It feels impossible to get warm! 

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Thrift Finds!

Yesterday, I mentioned that today was Jerry's weigh-in for the week; I was so sure that today was Tuesday! Instead, I decided to take photos of my recent thrift store finds (I really needed some shirts). Rather than post each photo individually (there are a LOT--oops!) I grouped them into threes.

Normally, I like to post the prices with them, but I cut off the tags when I got home and threw everything in the washer before I thought to write it down. But let me say, thrift stores aren't nearly as cheap as they used to be! I used to get clothes for $1-4 per item in general; now, they are everywhere from $3-$25 per item. They have half-off certain tag colors every day, so I try to find items that are half off. Still, thrift shopping isn't as fun when it's expensive!

I clearly like cozy sweatshirts! (The jeans were already mine.)

Later, I'll write about the shirt on the far left. I love the jacket in the middle. And I was in desperate need of short-sleeved running shirts!

I liked the puff sleeves on the first shirt. The second shirt was really big (a size XL) but it's very sheer and I thought it might work as a top over a tank top. In the third picture, those are some linen pants--SO COMFY--and they still had the original tags on them.

Before I get to the rest, the bit about the long-sleeved burgundy shirt. I really liked it when I saw it on the rack, and it seemed like a nice running shirt (or just undershirt for when I'm freezing). Then I saw the Lululemon symbol on the back--awesome! I love getting normally-expensive clothes for cheap (well, as cheap as thrift stores are now). I think it was $4.50 (half off of $9). When I was showing Jerry what I got, he pointed out that there is the Lululemon symbol hidden on the front, too:

The picture makes it look very obvious, but it's hard to notice otherwise. I think it's this shirt from Lululemon's site--$78!

Here are some more finds...

I love the Victoria's Secret running jacket on the left! On the right, those are warm pants to wear as a second layer when running outside. I had a pair just like it, but I think I accidentally donated them in the summer. I was so bummed!

The green top is my favorite! It's totally not a color I would normally pick, but I think it looks good for spring.

I've always wanted a pair of black jeans, so I bought those today (first photo). Although, now that I look at them in the photos, I'm not sure I like them. They need distressing, I think.

Well, that's enough thrift shopping for a long time! I made sure to buy things that I don't want/have to alter in any way (well, I do need to hem the black jeans, but that's a simple fix). I think my very favorite item is actually the mauve-colored hoodie (first photo, far right). It's funny how I pose nearly identically for every picture, hahaha. 

I found a few things for Jerry and the kids, and a few books for Luke and Riley as well. It was a big haul today! I missed thrift shopping during COVID--it was fun to find some shirts!

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