What the?!

So I was more than a little shocked when I logged into Blogger today and saw these stats:

Lately, I've been getting 3,000-4,000 pageviews per day, so I got kind of scared when I saw those huge numbers today! I've been getting a LOT of hits from Pinterest (which I don't belong to, but I kind of maybe want to join to see what the hype is?). Anyway, when I started my blog, I liked how it was kind of my own private little place on the internet where I could share all about my life and not worry about who saw it. 

With 10,000 pageviews today, I panicked for a minute, thinking about all those people that saw pictures of me in my PANTIES...

But the attention has been only positive (so far) and now I think this is actually kind of fun. I can't imagine why that many people find me interesting enough to view my blog, but hopefully I've inspired some people to make changes in their own lives.

So, I'd like to say welcome to my new readers! I don't have all the answers to weight loss (nor do I pretend to) and I still struggle constantly with my weight, but keeping this blog has been the best thing I've ever done for myself. It helps me stay accountable, and I've "met" sooo many fantastic people that inspire me and motivate me, and just make me feel good about myself--something I never used to feel before.

I hope that what I have written on my blog can help somehow--by seeing all things I've tried and failed at or succeeded at, maybe it will help in your own journey. I can't stress enough that ANYBODY can do what I did--it just takes a hell of a lot of determination and an excuse-free mindset! ;)

If you're just finding my blog, you might want to start with the FAQ's page. In short, I made up my mind that I was GOING TO lose 100+ pounds in a year (this was in August 2009); and I counted my calories diligently, weighing/measuring my food and being completely honest with myself. Over 16 months, I lost 125 pounds--with a few big hurdles along the way, like breaking my jaw, and binge eating. About halfway through my journey, I started to run for exercise--and I HATED IT at first, but I've grown to have a love/hate relationship with running, and I'm kind of hooked on it now.

I have an amazing family--my husband, who I've been with since high school; and our two boys, Noah (7), and Eli (5). We have four cats, all named from Friends characters: Chandler, Phoebe, Estelle, and Paolo.

Last month, I had the most amazing experience in that I was a guest on The Dr. Oz Show. It was so much fun!  And most recently, I had a lower body lift surgery to remove excess skin from my mid-section. I've been documenting all of that info, and will compile it into one blog post soon.

So, if you're interested in following along in my life, I'd love for you to introduce yourself in a comment or e-mail :)  Thanks for reading!

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Four weeks post-op

I cannot believe it's been 4 weeks since my surgery!! I remember thinking that six weeks seemed like SUCH a long time to recover, but I'm already 2/3 of the way through the worst of it. I only have to wear my compression garment for two more weeks.

I had Jerry take some weekly comparison pictures today. Again, it doesn't seem like a big change since last Monday, but I do notice a subtle difference in the pictures (for the better); my stomach seems a little flatter:

3 weeks after lower body lift

4 weeks after lower body lift

The best part is, I definitely noticed that the swelling is going down. I'm still swollen in my lower abdomen, but it's much better than it was a couple of weeks ago.
My incision is healing really well, too. It looks red right now, but my doctor told me it will look worse before it looks better--she said it would get red and then start getting paler, and after a couple of years, it should be very light.  The incision above my butt looks REALLY good--it's barely noticeable. I'm too shy to show you that one, sorry ;)

My belly button still looks pretty red inside, and the incision inside of it is kind of hard feeling. My surgeon told me to put Aquaphor on my incisions, and it would soften up. The red marks up by my ribs show how tight the compression garment is.

I'm still (slowly but surely) working on the post about all the surgery info. I've gotten a lot of good questions from you all, so I will try and answer all of them.

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Jerry and I ended up not doing much today. We went to Goodwill, but they didn't have much of anything. I bought the kids some snow pants, and myself a denim skirt and two tops--but nothing special. It was strange looking for clothes; I'm so used to having to find either long kind of bulky tops to hide my belly, or pants that go up high enough for me to tuck my belly into them. Now that I've had that skin removed, I can wear tight jeans AND tight tops, and I don't have any hangover of skin. I was kind of confused while looking for clothes, because I had to keep reminding myself that I don't have a bunch of excess skin on my belly.

The skirt that I bought is actually meant to sit very low, like right across my hips. I would never have been able to wear it before. Jerry saw it and his eyes got huge, and he said, "You HAVE to buy that!"  It's fun being able to wear a whole different style of clothes, and have no limitations. I guess I'm obligated to show a pic of the skirt now, too ;)

 Hmm, now that I see a picture of it, I'm not sure that I like it anymore. My mind is very backwards sometimes. I'll think I look absolutely terrible, but then when I see a picture of myself, I'm surprised that I actually look good. Or I'll think something looks really good, and then when I see a picture of it, I realize I was wrong.

When I was getting ready to go on stage with Dr. Oz, one of the producers put a necklace on me, that I thought was really ugly. I looked in the mirror and told her I didn't like it. She took my picture and showed it to me, and I realized I was wrong--so that's the necklace you saw me wearing on the show.

When I get ready to go out with friends or a party or something, I have to have Jerry take my picture to show me what I look like in different outfits, since I don't "see" it in the mirror. Same thing with my weight--I always think I look fat when I look in the mirror, but when I see a picture, I realize that I look normal. Does anyone else do this, or am I the only one with a fucked up perception of myself?! ;)

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I was actually pretty sore today from my run yesterday. I forgot what that feels like! My inner thighs are feeling the burn, as are my hips.  I love that feeling!

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Determined to do three

After yesterday's run, I kept worrying that taking a month off really did set me back to Day One as far as running goes. I expected it to be so much easier. After I broke my jaw, I was running again in two weeks, even though I had to breathe through clenched teeth for six weeks because my jaw was wired shut. I remember being super dizzy from the medications I was taking, but I still ran.

So after yesterday's mile on the dreadmill, I was feeling really discouraged. This morning, while my kids were at church, I decided to go for a run outside. I dressed nice and warm and told myself that I would do three miles--but if I had to stop and walk, it was okay.  I left the iPod at home, so that I could hear my breathing and see if it sounded strained or as miserable as I sounded yesterday. Then I started running my favorite three-mile route, the peninsula by my house.

It was cold, but the perfect running weather kind of cold. I could have done without the headwind on the way out, but it was so nice to be running outside, that I didn't mind. I didn't see a single person outside, like I normally do. I started feeling the burning in my lungs at about 1/4 mile in. I just slowed down a little, but kept moving. The first mile went by slowly. The second mile I was really enjoying, because I was going nice and slow and just trying to pay attention to how my body felt. Then the third mile, I was ready to be done and just wanted to get home.

I finished the three miles without any walk breaks. When I got home, I did another quick video, to compare my breathing to yesterdays. It sounds much better.

It's interesting, though--I was going through my old blog today and came across this from a couple of years ago:

"I thought I was going to DIE--well, throw up, really--when I did the Week 3 Couch to 5k workout yesterday. It was really hard to do the 3-minute run. And I don't even run fast. I do my walking at 3 mph and my run at 5 mph. I'm so out of shape. I'm really dreading doing it again tomorrow. I hope it feels easier."

A three-minute run at a 12 min/mi pace made me want to DIE?! LOL

I think that until I start training for the half-marathon (sometime in February) I'm going to just run three miles three times per week like I did when I first became a runner. I'm going to take the next couple of days off to let my muscles recover from today. But I'm so glad that I was able to run the three miles I did!

After the run, I noticed a weird twinge-like pain in the top of my left thigh and another in the upper abdominal muscles. I really hope that is normal. I might call my surgeon tomorrow just to check.

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Jerry's been working EVERY DAY lately, and he has tomorrow off--I'm so excited to spend some quality time with him!  And by quality time, I mean we are going to have a super lazy day of a movie marathon while the kids are in school. We have some free movie passes that we have to use this month, so if there is anything good playing at the mall, maybe we'll do that instead.

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First post-op run

Last night was a lot of fun! Renee, Jessica, and Alicia came over to watch Hood to Coast, and we opened a few bottles of wine. Renee brought hummus and veggies, Alicia brought crackers and smoked cheese with almonds and cranberries, and Jessica brought dark chocolate bark with walnuts and dried cherries. Everything was delicious!  I had about 2 1/2 glasses of wine and probably too much chocolate ;)  It was totally worth it!

This morning, I caught up on e-mail and then was reading my book when I really had the urge to go for a run. I couldn't leave the kids to run outside, so I had to do it on the dreadmill. I'll be four weeks post-op on Monday (I can't believe it's been that long already!) and I figured I'd try and do three miles.  I sent the incline at 1% and started out at an 11:00/mi pace, but quickly went up to a 10:00/mi pace because I was feeling fine.

Then I started to feel the burning in the back of my throat. I haven't felt that since I was a beginner! It's the feeling of being out of shape and winded. I was so irritated at myself, but I was determined to keep going. Then I thought about it, and realized I really shouldn't be mad at myself. I was only 3 weeks and 5 days post-body lift surgery, and I was expecting to run three miles right off the bat!  So I finished a mile and called it quits. I'll see how I feel tomorrow, and I might run again on Monday if I feel okay. I'll try and do a mile and a half next time.

When I stopped, I was SO out of breath, and I am not used to that. Even when I would run 8-10 miles, I could catch my breath pretty quickly afterward. I decided to take a short video clip of myself after the run, and I'll compare it next time I run to hopefully see an improvement. I'm not exactly a pretty sight straight off the dreadmill, but here is the clip:

I was kind of dreading my first run, so I'm glad to be done with it now. I'm going to do minimal running at least until Jan. 1st, but I'm glad to know that I can at least still run. I was worried that my legs wouldn't work anymore or something!

Jerry and I took the boys to the skating rink again. We had coupons for free admission that expire tomorrow, so we wanted to use them. It turned out to be a waste of time. Noah said his leg hurt as soon as we got there, so he didn't want to skate. Then Eli was mad about something (no idea what) and he refused to skate. We told the kids that we were leaving.

We were the only people in the entire place, and I think the employees thought we were leaving because the kids were bored because no other kids were there, so they gave us more free passes as we were leaving. I ended up booking Eli's birthday party there for Jan. 14th. My kids have always had their birthday parties at our house, but they went to a party there recently and they really wanted to do the same thing.

Jerry just left for work, so I'm hanging out with the boys tonight. I taught them to play Old Maid and they think that game is hilarious, so we'll probably be playing that all night. And watching Dirty Jobs. ;)

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Picture frames

I seriously just wasted spent my entire day hanging picture frames. I'm terrible at hanging them--I can't figure out where to put each frame and then I get them crooked and off center, or I measure wrong, and they just look bad. So today, I was determined to do it RIGHT.

Jerry called the cable company this morning because our internet has been SO S.L.O.W. for the past three days or so (if you've been waiting for an e-mail or response from me, that's probably why you haven't heard anything! I'll try and catch up tomorrow). They said they'd send someone out, so I waited around for the cable guy. While I was waiting, I decided that I really needed to fix the frames and finally add the others that have been sitting in a closet for about four years (literally).

It was so hard!! I acted like a little kid having a fit--I screamed and stomped my feet, and told Jerry I was going to tear the house apart out of frustration. Lol, and I wonder why my kids are so dramatic! I finally figured out a system with a piece of paper with lines drawn all over it--it wasn't perfect, but I think I did pretty damn good!

Yes, that took me all day long. I'm just so glad that it's done now, and I don't have to look at the frames that were on the wall before, all crooked.

The cable guys (there were two) gave us a new modem and splitter under the house. Now the internet is working quickly again, and it's much less frustrating.

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Some of you asked what I used the cookie butter for--yesterday, I spread it on a few graham crackers and at it that way. I imagine it would be good on a Nilla Wafer, too. Or, and I can't wait for this, oats in a jar!  When it gets almost empty, I'm going to make my cinnamon raisin cookie oats and put it in the jar to eat. Yum!

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I have some runner friends coming over in less than an hour to watch Hood to Coast with me, so I have to cut this short. We'll have wine and snacks, too. Jerry's working tonight, so I'm really looking forward to some girl company!

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It doesn't get much better than this!

I've had such a great day today! It always seems like good things happen all in the same day and then everything will be boring again for a while.

I started today by trying on some jeans that I was hoping would fit (my goal jeans)--and they did! Then I went a step further, and tried on the one pair of jeans that I never in a million years thought I'd be able to button and zip and actually wear in public--they fit too!! Remember the Lucky brand jeans I bought this summer? They were super low cut and I never thought I'd be able to wear them, even with a tummy tuck. But I tried them on for shits and giggles today, and...

Ta da! And I don't even have a muffin top, so I can wear them with fitted shirts. Before, I couldn't even get the jeans up all the way, let alone buttoned. Sorry I keep posting so many comparison pics--I'm not fishing for compliments, I'm just in total AWE at the results of my lower body lift!

Speaking of which, I got my XS compression garment in the mail today. When I took it out of the package, I just thought, "Holy crap, how am I supposed to fit into that?!" because it was so tiny. Here is a pic of it on top of my goal jeans (which are a size 4, so they're small as it is):

 

You can see why I was worried about putting that thing on!  After some wrestling and holding my breath, I managed to get the hooks and zippers done, and now it's on. I can't really take a deep breath, but I'm compressed ;)  I have to wear this for 3 more weeks. I actually kind of like the compression feeling.

I also got something VERY exciting in the mail today from Lindsey at JavaMuser... When I opened the envelope and saw a Trader Joe's bag, I knew it was going to be good...

It felt heavy and cylindrical, so my first guess was some sort of nut butter. But it was BETTER, Friends. What could possibly be better than nut butter, you ask?

I did what anyone would do, and opened it immediately. I ate a spoonful right from the jar, and my kids must have heard my Oh-this-is-so-good moaning, because they wanted to try it too. I gave them a tiny little taste and they loved it of course. I told them sorry, but this is going on Mama's special shelf in the pantry ;)

It tastes like Snickerdoodle cookies or something. So yummy!  I've only been to a Trader Joe's once, and that was when I went to visit my brother in St. Paul, MN.  We don't have one around here, unfortunately. Thank you, Lindsey--you know me well!

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Today was Renee's birthday, and we went out to lunch four other girls (six of us total). It was so fun! We went to a restaurant called La Fiesta, which I'd never been to before. I ordered a lunch portion of shrimp fajitas, and unfortunately, they weren't very good. Actually, they were the worst fajitas I've ever had! But the company was good, so that made up for it ;)

After that, Renee, Jessica, and I went to Cabela's for Christmas shopping. I didn't need to buy anything, but it was fun to look around. I stopped at Kroger for a few things on the way home, and didn't get home until almost 4:00 when the kids get home from school.

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About the cookie socks giveaway... I wrote down everyone's names and then used a random number generator to pick a winner. It ended up being #2, who was Susan Snyder--congrats, Susan!  I already have your address from sending you the Gocket, so I ordered the socks and had them shipped to you :)

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SO EXCITED!

I'm going to write more later (and include some more pics), but for now, I'm just too excited not to share... I can wear my GOAL JEANS!!

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253

When I signed into blogger, I noticed that my "followers" number was the same as my starting weight--253. I don't know why I felt the need to point that out! ;)  I hate that number.

I started today with my Wednesday Weigh-In, and I was thrilled to see another loss!

Down 2 pounds from last week

I really need a pedicure! I had to remove my nail polish for surgery, and then I couldn't bend over that far to paint my nails post-op--so my nails are looking really shabby. I haven't asked Jerry to paint them--I'm sure he would if I asked!--but I'm afraid they might look worse than they do now ;)

Down 0.4% body fat from last week

At 136, I'm only THREE pounds away from my goal weight of 133! And right now, I'm only 8 pounds from my lowest weight of 128 in December of 2010. I don't think I'll wind up in the 120's again, but I would be thrilled to be at 133 or less. I chose that number because that is when my jeans were very comfy. At 134, they felt a little snug at the waist. I know it's only a pound, but at this weight, I feel EVERY POUND.

When I was over 200 pounds, I could gain or lose 15 pounds without even noticing it in my clothes. But now, every little pound counts. And it makes a difference in my running, as well. Once I get over 135ish, my pace is slower. I run best in the low 130's.

I haven't really been "dieting" since my surgery, so I will just keep doing what I've been doing and see where I end up--hopefully it'll be in the low 130's or less. 

I'm also thrilled that my body fat is almost in the teens again. I was worried it was going to go up and up since I'm not running right now, but thankfully that hasn't happened.

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Something that people e-mail or comment about most frequently is that I should write a book. About a year ago, I actually did write one, but I never did anything with it. By now, pretty much all of the info that I wrote is somewhere on my blog, so I was thinking of starting over from scratch with a different approach.

But for those of you that said I should write a book about my weight loss, I have a couple of questions. What kind of book are you thinking of? What would interest you? A memoir about my experience? An "advice" kind of book? A day-to-day journal from when I was losing the weight (which I still have)? I have so much info, but I don't know what people would be interested reading about.

I love memoirs in general, so I was leaning toward that--but my life is SO not interesting, I'm afraid that it would be horribly boring. Doing an "advice" book has been done ten thousand times before, so there wouldn't really be anything special to write about.

Something that I had in mind that would be kind of different would be to turn my old blog (my weight loss blog) into a journal-like book--editing the heck out of it, of course--and then throw notes or chapters into it sporadically, talking about things that helped me or things that I learned along the way. Does that make sense? I spent all day today going through my old blog (with Estelle on my lap--she loves the heated blanket).

So basically, I just need some input on what would be interesting to read!

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Jerry's co-worker gave him some of this Starbucks peppermint hot cocoa--and he brought it home for me, since I've been kind of hooked on hot cocoa lately!

I'm kind of tempted to mix it with decaf coffee to turn it into a peppermint mocha-like drink. I still haven't had coffee since the end of October. I don't even miss it anymore, really. But when Jerry drinks it, I really love the smell of it. I think I might get some decaf to have around when the craving hits.

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Tomorrow I actually have plans!  I'm going to lunch and to Cabela's with Renee and Jessica. It's Renee's birthday!

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The mom that ruined Christmas

I was lying back in the recliner today, and Phoebe decided she wanted to be a lap cat--she climbed on me (Jerry took a very blurry pic...) and then parked herself right on my chest.

She actually sat there for a while, and I didn't have the heart to move her--I wonder if she knew that it probably wouldn't feel good for her to climb all over my stomach right now?

I'm excited to watch The Biggest Loser tonight! I haven't been very into this season at ALL, but I always love watching the marathon. And this season all of the contestants are going to be running the marathon. I don't know why it's so exciting, but I love to watch.

Another show that I'm excited for is Fear Factor, which starts next Monday. Do you remember how awesome that reality show was?! I loved that show--and now it's coming back :)

Eli just told me that I was ruining Christmas. My kids are so dramatic. My dad picked them up from school today, and when they came home, I was unpacking their book bags. I noticed that they didn't eat any of their lunch, which made me mad. Then I pulled out a bunch of candy wrappers from their bags, and they told me that my dad gave it to them.

That is something that drives me crazy! He says it's a "treat" because they don't get it at home. I'm fine with him giving them ONE treat, but he gives them 5-6 pieces of candy or Little Debbie crap every time he sees them. No wonder they don't want their lunch at school! So I told them that my dad can't pick them up from school tomorrow, and they told me I was ruining everything about Christmas. ;)

Noah wrote this note and taped it to their bedroom door:

"Everybody come in, but not Mama! She ruined our Christmas"

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I'm getting so sick of eating all this protein, and I forgot to ask my doctor how long she wants me eating tons of protein. I can't wait to make some baked oatmeal and eat it for breakfast instead of a protein shake, and have a bowl of pasta for dinner instead of salmon and potatoes. I like protein shakes, and I like salmon, but I just want to go back to my very favorite foods (which basically contain very little protein).

ETA: I'm supposed to be getting 100+ grams of protein per day. My shake in the morning is about 40 grams, so I can't afford to eliminate that for oats with peanut butter (unfortunately) because that would be about 10 grams max. Maybe I'll just make baked oatmeal to have for my dessert at night!

My next post-op appointment isn't until Jan. 10th; I'll be six weeks post-op on Dec. 26, so maybe then I'll start cutting back on the protein and going back to normal. It doesn't help that I've been watching Dirty Jobs with the kids--one was about butchering cows and another was about bologna making. Nothing turns me off to meat more than watching it go from animal to store!

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Three weeks post-op (with pics)

After all the excitement that happened over the past 6 weeks (going to NYC to be a guest on Dr. Oz, having my lower body lift surgery, watching the airing of The Dr. Oz Show, recovering from surgery...) I feel like my life is so much more boring than it was before! I have no idea what I used to write about.

Running, obviously, but since I'm not doing that... I do like the idea of walking for exercise over the next few weeks while I recover. It seems so obvious, but it actually didn't occur to me to do exercise other than running! Thanks for the suggestion :)

I might walk on the dreadmill tomorrow and see how it goes. If I swell up huge, then I might put off any exercise a little longer. My knee has been feeling pretty good the past couple of days, so hopefully that whole thing is behind me.

Today marks three weeks of being binge-free! I binged the day before my surgery. I remember after my jaw surgery last year, I (obviously) couldn't binge for a long time while my jaw was wired shut. Then after I got the wires off, I binged, telling myself "just this once". Again and again. Once you do it the first time after a long time of not doing it, it becomes so much easier to do over and over again.

So, having learned my lesson last year, I'm going to try my best to stay binge-free--knowing that if I do it even ONCE, it will make me much more likely to do it again, until I'm bingeing a few times a week.

I've been eating "normally", or as a lot of people like to call it, "intuitively".  I hesitate to call it that, because "intuitive eating" has its own set of rules, but I'm not following any rules--just trying to eat like a normal person. My surgeon still wants me eating a lot of protein, so I've been doing that.

I've been super tempted a few times to binge--Mrs. Fields was a really big temptation to me, and when I was grocery shopping today, I wanted to buy some cookie dough so badly! To eat raw, of course, despite all the health warnings on the label, lol. I don't feel controlled enough to make a batch of cookies and not binge, so I will have to either buy one or two cookies from a bakery if I want, or just wait until I have enough control to have them in the house.

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I am also three weeks post-op today. So I took some new photos, although they don't look much different than the last photos I posted. I think my belly button looks a little smaller. I'm still very swollen--in the lower abdomen, which you can't really tell from the pics. But I'm swollen, I swear! I'll try and take new pics weekly to see the progress.

2 weeks after lower body lift

3 weeks after lower body lift

Just for the record, I do have other panties... I just use these for comparison purposes! ;)

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Check out what I got in the mail today!!

One of you told me about these cookie socks a long time ago, but they were out of stock. I just got an e-mail earlier this week that they were back in stock, so I bought some. They're really cozy socks, too. (The picture makes them look discolored by the feet--they aren't! I don't know why they look like that).

Once I saw that I liked them, I decided that I wanted to buy another pair to give away to one of my readers! Instead of doing a regular giveaway, I'm going to limit this giveaway to the people that have bought a Gocket from me to help me pay for my surgery. I want you to know how much I appreciated your help! So if you bought a Gocket, and you would like to be entered in a drawing for a pair of these COOKIES socks, just say so in the comments (or e-mail, if you can't comment for some reason).

I was going to just enter everybody that bought a Gocket, but I thought maybe someone doesn't want a pair of socks, so just let me know if you'd like to be entered.  I'll pick a winner on Thursday morning, and announce it on Thursday's blog post.

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