I almost fainted

If you're squeamish, skip this part. Just go down to the page break line.

I never really understood how the sight of something could make someone faint. I watch the needle go into my arm for blood draws, I was very conscious for the removal of my arch bars, I had no problem emptying my drains from surgery... but yesterday, it almost happened.

My incision had a thin piece of extremely sticky tape all the way around the length of it. It took me a few days to even notice it was there, because it was SO stuck to my skin. It was kind of stringy, like gauze, but as sticky as super glue. Anyway, my doctor noticed it was still there yesterday, so she told me I could pull it off when I got home.

Last night, I went into the bathroom, stripped down, and found a little piece to start working on. It took me a while to just get a small piece up, and I swear I thought my incision was going to burst open. It didn't really hurt (much) because I am still so numb, but all the spots that the tape came off was starting to sting. I kept pulling, and going over certain spots felt like I was splitting open. It was so scary!

I had Jerry do the tape over my butt, since I couldn't see it well, and I kept asking "Are you sure it's not opening?!" There were a couple of spots that show a tiny speck of blood, but other than that, it was still okay. When I really couldn't see it, but I could definitely feel it, I got extremely light headed and started getting tunnel vision. I walked to my bedroom and tried to lay across the bed so that if I did faint, I wouldn't fall and break my damn jaw again.

It felt like it took forever, but the tape was finally off (oh, and I won't even mention how badly it hurt when removing the piece that was across the top of my pubic hair--imagine waxing in slow motion).

It actually made the incision look much better though, after the tape was off:

On the left, the tape was still on (this is the incision right above my left butt cheek)--I believe this was Day 4. On the right, you can see where the tape WAS, but is no more. And how much cleaner the incision looks with the tape removed. Don't be freaked out by the bruising--that's why I didn't show you my back yet!

I was trying to explain to Jerry was the heebie-jeebies was... you know that really squeemish feeling? Yeah, looking at this stuff gives me the heebie-jeebies. Try and say that word out loud without at least smiling. You can't!

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Now, onto the most important part--the REAL reason I almost fainted! Just kidding, I didn't, but it probably would have been appropriate. I'm talking about my Wednesday Weigh-In today.

Remember, how I said I was prepared for a big number, because the doc said I could gain up to 10 pounds post-op from fluid retention?  I mentally prepared myself for that, and all week long I've been RAVENOUSLY hungry. I've been eating 3 meals and at least 2-3 snacks a day, because my body is hungry all the time--I think it's just wanting extra calories to heal all the trauma that was done to it during surgery.

Well, I got on the scale and saw a number I haven't seen in... God only knows how long.

Yes, friends, that would be the 130's!!! I haven't seen the 130's since early this year, probably April? So I'm actually down 9 pounds since the morning of surgery.  The doctor said she only removed 2-3 pounds of skin, so this is quite the shock.

However, I'm going to be VERY careful about considering this weight loss "permanent" until at least 6 weeks after surgery. I learned my lesson last year after my jaw surgery, when my weight dropped to 128.

I've been eating a ton of protein, at the request of my doctor, but I make sure that I'm not eating low-carb. I definitely get in a lot of carbs and protein and fat--maybe my metabolism is just going super fast to try and repair my body after surgery. Also, I haven't been running, and my body drops weight very fast when I don't exercise--weird, I know. I'm not sure what the reasoning is behind the weight loss, but I'm VERY thrilled with it!!

Well, I might write again tonight, but I was dying to post my weigh in!

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Surgical drains (and other TMI)

Ahhh, relief!  I got three of my surgical drains removed today. Unfortunately, I still have one left in for a couple more days. Some of you were asking about the drains, so I'll do a quick explanation.  After abdominal surgeries, most doctors insert a number of drains (number depends on the extent of the surgery), a tube that rests inside of your abdomen for about 6-12 inches or so, and comes through a tiny incision (held in place with a single stitch, so it doesn't slide out) and then there is a few feet of tubing that leads to a grenade-shaped bulb.

Any fluid that accumulates in your abdomen (blood, pus, saline solution that was used to irrigate during surgery, etc) goes out through the tubes and into the bulbs. It was my job to record how much fluid came out (there are measuring lines on the bulbs) and empty the bulbs by removing the little cap and squeezing them into the toilet.  I had to do this a few times a day. It's not as gross as it sounds, honest.

This is what I looked like today after my shower--wearing my compression garment, with drains coming out the top of my pants and clipped to the waist band of my pants.

The drains aren't really painful, but they are VERY annoying to lug around with me everywhere. Especially in the shower. I can get totally naked in the shower, but I have four tubes coming out of my groin and hip areas. Jerry (or my mom) has to stand there while I shower and hold the tubes so that my hands are free to wash myself.

You'll notice that the color and amount of drainage varies in each drain. That's normal. The one on my left hip hasn't drained anything since about two days after surgery.

The compression garment I have to wear is bothersome sometimes, but it actually feels good to have everything feel like it's being held together. Sometimes I worry that one little sneeze or cough will make my whole incision pop open. Or it'll make this new "girdle" of skin pop open and my stomach will look like what it used to (not that it's possible for that to happen).

Even with the compression garment off, it feels like I'm wearing some sort of girdle. Everything feels so tight and compressed.  I have to wear the compression garment 24/7 for at least 6 weeks. To give you an idea of how tight it's supposed to fit...

Yes, Dilaudid was flowing through my veins, thankyouverymuch!

This was a few hours after surgery, so I look like I was busting out the seams of the garment. Now it is definitely looser, and my surgeon actually had me order a size small (this one is a medium) to wear since the swelling is going down. 

The point of wearing the compression garment is to help the skin adhere back to the muscle wall and keep it in shape, which can take 5-6 weeks. Like I said, I like it because it holds everything together. When I'm really swollen, it can be hard to take a deep breath though, because it is so constricting!  My abdomen feels SO WEIRD all the time--it's completely numb, but when I press on it, I can see the fluid retention underneath, so it looks "puffy". The doctor said this is normal until the skin adheres back to the muscle.

As far as dressings for the incision go, it totally depends on the surgeon. My surgeon didn't have me use any dressings, which was FANTASTIC. There weren't any stitches on the surface skin--she used internal stitches that my body will absorb, and then she used some sort of glue for the surface. I didn't have any dressing to change, I just have to wear the compression garment at all times (except showering). I actually haven't had any problems at all with the incision (thank goodness!) and it's healing really well. I've been following my surgeon's instructions to the letter for everything, and it's definitely working.

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So about the drain removal...

I was terrified. I've read from some sources that it doesn't hurt and just feels "weird" but from other sources that it was excruciating. For the past couple of days, my hips have been hurting, and I think it was from the drains in my hips. They passed right over the bone, which was a very weird feeling and very achy.

Anyway, my appointment was a 3:15, and Jerry drove me. It was about 40 minutes away, which is much closer than the hospital or the Detroit clinic. They had me undress from the waist down, including my compression garment. It was so uncomfortable while waiting for the doctor to come in--I hated sitting there without the garment on, because it felt very tight and weird.

When the doctor came in, she said, "Let's remove some drains!" and I was so excited that she was going to remove all four of them. She looked over the record of the drainage output, and decided to leave one drain in (my left groin) until it puts out less than 30 cc's in a 24 hour period. She said probably Thursday or Friday.

She did my most annoying drain first, my left hip. I was the most nervous for this one, because my hip bones have been so touchy--just weird feeling--lately. She told me to take a deep breath and then blow out hard. While I was exhaling, she pulled it out. Honestly, it didn't hurt at all--just felt VERY VERY strange. Next, she took out the one in my right hip, and same thing--very strange, but no pain. Then she did my right groin, which was the weirdest one of all, because it was SO LONG. I exhaled and it was still coming out, so I took another breath and exhaled again. Finally it was over. I felt so relieved after that!

She checked out my incision all the way around and said it's healing just as expected, so that's good. She told me two more days of lying down or standing (no sitting up). She also cleared me for exercise! She said I can even run if I feel like running--just for the record, I DON'T. She just said no ab-work for a couple more weeks. I've never done ab-work in my life, because there was no real reason to. She said I can sleep on my stomach, if I'm comfortable--hopefully that will cure my insomnia! I hate sleeping any way other than on my stomach. She again stressed the importance of eating a lot of protein for at least the next 5 weeks.

I came home and had a pumpkin brownie that I baked earlier--NOT from scratch ;)

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So Robin, one of my readers (she doesn't have a website to link to, otherwise I would), is a graphic designer, and she very generously offered to make me a blog title banner for my page. I sent her a bunch of pictures, and she sent me 3 different banners to choose from. So if you visit my blog, you'll see that I have a new look up top :)  I think it turned out GREAT.  Can you tell I'm getting bored with all this time on my hands?!

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I need thicker skin

I feel so fortunate to have such amazing readers that are so positive. I'm such a sensitive person, and I don't handle criticism very well. That is one of the reasons I don't advertise my blog--I'm afraid that if I have too many readers, some of them will start to be critical or I'll have people leave me critical comments. It's a fear I really need to get over. I can be myself on my blog, and I think I just fear that if people criticize, it means they don't like ME.

Today, I noticed that my pumpkin brownie recipe was posted on the Dr. Oz Show website. It's not even a "real" recipe, just something I throw together sometimes--a box of brownie mix + a can of pumpkin + a couple tablespoons of peanut butter swirled on top. It gives me a chocolate-peanut butter fix with a little extra fiber from the pumpkin. (Oh, and FYI-- the food stylist added the lemon zest completely on her own--I would never add lemon zest to my brownies!)

When I told the producers about the brownies, they loved that idea and wanted to use that on the show. A food stylist made them and they looked amazing. I talked about them for a minute on the show (which was cut out). I also talked about how you don't have to eat healthy food 100% of the time in order to lose weight. That I ate healthy all day long, but always allowed for an indulgent (read: junky) dessert at night. I managed to lose 125 pounds doing this, and never thought anything of it.

These were my brownies and wine part of the show that was cut

So today, when I read the comments that were posted on the recipe on the website, a lot of people were critical about it being a boxed brownie mix and not from scratch--and that brownies from scratch are so much healthier. I get that--I totally understand that we should avoid processed foods--but those people have no clue all the other sacrifices I made to get healthy. I used to eat ice cream by the half-gallon, M&M's by the one-pound bag... so it was hard to read people being critical of my making a healthier version of a boxed brownie mix.

I think the producers liked the idea because it was so simple--not everyone wants to make brownies from scratch! People like simplicity, and this was an easy way to make a healthier brownie. NOT a "healthy" brownie... but a "healthier" one.

I could NEVER be a celebrity--I don't have thick enough skin for it! I couldn't imagine how hard it would be to read things in tabloids about myself. I feel bad for the celebrities that have to deal with it all the time. They must have very thick skin!

If I may ask, PLEASE don't try and defend me (or even mention me) in the comments on the recipe page--Jerry wanted to so badly when he saw that I was crying while reading them. It would just make me feel worse. I wrote one comment, and left it at that. I'm just not going to read any more of the comments about it!

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I'm really starting to feel soooo lazy. My legs are aching to run, and I can almost feel the muscles turning to Jello. I'm going to give it the full six weeks recovery, but I think I'll ask the doctor if I can at least walk slowly on the dreadmill every day. Then I won't feel like I'm doing NOTHING.

I'm going to post a weigh-in on Wednesday. My doctor said that I shouldn't even look at the scale for weeks after surgery because I'll be so swollen, but I am expecting that, so it's okay to see the number. I haven't been bingeing, and I've been focusing on eating tons of protein to heal as fast as possible. I'm not in any rush to lose weight, so it is what it is.

I actually feel like I could be happy at the weight I've been maintaining for over a year--145ish. Now that my belly skin is gone, my clothes will fit so much better. I don't feel any pressure to reach a certain number (because of the People magazine goal being non-existant now). My sole focus is going to be on eating "normally", exercising for health and fitness, and setting some other goals.

Since my 30th birthday is in January, I am going to compile a list of small goals to accomplish in my 30th year--30 goals, of course.  I used to have a 30x30 list (30 goals to accomplish before I turned 30) and I actually DID accomplish all the major ones. The others seemed unimportant, so I stopped marking them off. I'm going to pick 30 simple and meaningful goals for my 30th year.

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For those of you that were asking about whether my Dr. Oz segment was going to be available online, it is! I posted the links here.

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My episode of The Dr. Oz Show is online!

One of my readers just pointed out that my episode of The Dr. Oz Show is online!

Here is the preview (you can only catch a quick glimpse of me):



My segment is split into two parts, so obviously you want to watch them in order.

Katie on Dr. Oz Show "Part 2"  (Watch this first, and I come in on the end of this clip at 2:53).
Katie on Dr. Oz Show "Part 3"  (Watch this second, and my part finishes up in the beginning).

So glad that if you missed it, you can still see it!  Make sure to watch Jennie's story too (she's part 1 and 2)--she's AMAZING and I feel so happy to have met her at the show!

If you haven't read about my experience in NYC for the taping of the show, you can read that here and here.

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Lower body lift, post-op day 7 progress

I can't believe I'm already on Day 7 following my lower body lift surgery. Surprisingly, the week has flown by for me. I haven't been able to do much, but I've been recovering really well. And having my Dr. Oz Show air on Friday definitely took my mind off the surgery for a little bit.  For those of you that haven't seen the Nov. 18th episode that I was on, I still don't know whether I'll be able to post it to my blog. I'm hoping that the show posts it on the website or something!

Yep, I'm much prettier on TV! lol

I took a new progress photo of my belly today--it doesn't look much different than the last comparison pic, though. I still feel swollen and my stomach protrudes a little because of the swelling. The incision is healing really well, and my drains aren't draining much any more--which is good, because I'll probably get them removed at my post-op appointment on Tuesday. Here is the comparison pic--last Sunday vs. today:

Before lower body lift

Day 7 after lower body lift

My belly button is still very scabby, but I don't want to pull the scabs off. It looks like it hurts, but it doesn't. Actually, the weird thing about this surgery (that I wasn't expecting) is the numbness! My whole abdomen and lower back are completely numb. It's a very weird feeling when I touch it.

My belly button is starting to look more centered, thankfully. However, I read about off-centered belly buttons after tummy tucks, and it's very common--but not necessarily a fault of the surgeon. Your belly button "stalk" stays in the same place, but the surgeon makes an incision around it and then pulls the belly skin down around the stalk, and makes a new hole to sew to the stalk (hard to explain).

So if your belly button isn't centered before surgery, it's not going to be centered after surgery unless you request extra work to center it. Hard to explain, but chances are, my belly button was off center prior to surgery, and it will remain a little off-center. I don't think it looks too bad though, and I'm not going to be showing my belly off--too many stretch marks remain to wear a bikini!

Something that I really didn't think I would care much about before surgery was my butt lift (part of the lower body lift). My butt was just never something I really complained about, even though I knew it was very jiggly from the loose skin. I'm so shocked at how much perkier my butt is now! When I walk, I can actually put my hand there and feel my glutes really well--my butt feels firm for the first time ever.  I might post a comparison of that (in undies, of course!) soon, but I'm not brave enough yet.

I'm so excited to try on my jeans after I get these drains out! I used to have to tuck my skin into my jeans, so I hope that they go on much easier now.

I think my biggest complaint right now is how much my throat hurts. I don't think it's related to the surgery itself, because it was fine for a couple of days post-op. But I have that horrible lump in my throat and it's sooo hard to swallow or think of anything else. I've also had a headache on and off, which I discovered can be a little relieved with a cup of caffeinated tea. I hope I'm not getting sick, but those are the only bothersome symptoms I have.

Right now, I'm totally looking forward to my post-op appointment with my surgeon on Tuesday to (hopefully) get these drains removed!  I'll take more pictures then too.

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A trip to the ER

Thank you for all the kind things you had to say about the show yesterday! I am so glad that I can finally talk about it now... not that there is anything left to say, with my four blog posts yesterday!

Last night I noticed that my left hip was hurting a little bit more than usual. There is a drain there that hasn't had any drainage since the day after my surgery. I poked around a little, and felt a hard lump. I immediately started thinking of all the bad things it could be-- hematoma, seroma. I was very careful with how I slept last night to avoid any trauma to it.

This morning, when I was taking a shower, I noticed that it's definitely a noticeable lump. I pressed on it and it felt really hard, so I didn't think it was just normal swelling. I showed my mom, and she was worried that the drain tube was blocked, and all the fluid was just collecting in there. I called my doctor (who is away) and one of the residents who works with her called me back. She asked me about all the usual signs of infection, and I had no other symptoms. She said for peace of mind (if nothing else), I could go to the nearest emergency room and have it looked at.

I debated whether to go, and finally decided I would rather be safe than sorry. So my mom drove me to the ER, and I was seen right away. The first person to check it out (a nurse practitioner) seemed completely undisturbed, but he got a doctor to come look. The doctor was pressing around, and I pointed out the spot. I said, "It's a hard lump right here. It's hard enough that it feels like my hip bone."

The doctor said, "Katie, that IS your hip bone."

Cue stupidity.  It gave me deja vu from when I went to my gynecologist and during the breast exam, I told her I had a lump--she felt it and laughed and said it was my rib!  I just didn't know what a rib felt like, because I was always fat.

Now, I've certainly gotten used to my hip bones since losing the weight, but only by feel--when I looked in the mirror, I just saw skin hanging over them. So my seroma or hemotoma--whatever--just turned out to be my hip bone. It's slightly more swollen on one side than the other, but nothing unusual.

That was a waste of time. Thankfully I have a lot of time on my hands right now (four posts yesterday, Katie? Really?)

When the mail came today, I was SO shocked and excited and touched--I got an amazing care package from Stacey at Runs for Red Velvet.  She had asked me for my mailing address because she was addressing Christmas cards--very sneaky! There were all kinds of goodies in there:

Sorry for the really bad picture--I still can't stand up straight and I was hunched over trying to arrange everything.  There were lots of high protein snacks, tea, super soft socks, emery boards, a running book, Hershey's kisses, word puzzles, all kinds of good stuff! The neck pillow was perfect, because I've been sleeping in the recliner with a towel rolled up and wrapped around my neck.

I originally met Stacey on Sparkpeople, and she is one of the first people I started conversing with. Hopefully we'll meet in real life someday, too!

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My thoughts about being a guest on The Dr. Oz Show

Sorry to bombard you with posts today! So much stuff going on. I just wanted to comment on a few things and post the pictures that the producer sent me as soon as the show aired.

First, I never said I didn't like NYC!  I barely saw the city because I was so busy. The only encounters I had with people were the taxi drivers (who were extremely rude if they didn't want to drive where you wanted to go) and the people at the restaurant when I ordered food. I guess I didn't mean everyone was rude, I just meant that I'm from a super small town where everybody waves hello to each other on the street and people know who you are when you say your last name and where you graduated high school from. My experience with NYC was--well, the total opposite of that. I would definitely like to go back some day when I have more time!

The producers didn't make me say anything I didn't feel comfortable with. They interviewed me a lot through the week, and took little tidbits of things I said and wrote the show. They just had me repeat the things they wanted me to mention. In fact, there was one thing they asked me to read in that little narrative that wasn't true, so I pointed it out and they changed it--no questions asked. They kept saying that there are no right or wrong answers--I'm just telling my story. The producers were fantastic!

I'm definitely bummed that a lot of the show was edited out, but if they left everything in, the show would be two hours long. It wasn't just MY part that was edited--Jennie had some stuff that was cut too.  I was so completely amazed at how much WORK the producers do for each show. To top it off, as soon as the show aired, Ali e-mailed me the pictures from the show... I was excited that I didn't have to wait forever to get them.

Yes, the red dresses were ugly. I'm glad I made the choice I did to wear the dress I brought with me. The producers agreed that the blue dress was more flattering and said it was my choice--thankfully! They had the idea to add the little black belt and the necklace, which I liked. The Lucky stylist chose the shoes--wish I could have kept them!

I felt guilty that Dr. Oz said I was 125 pounds lighter--because I'm only 110 pounds lighter today. I was completely honest with the producers, but it must have gotten confusing along the way. I just don't want anyone to think I was lying and still claiming to be 128 pounds!

Anyway, here are my "after" photos--after 25 months in the making :)

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My appearance on The Dr. Oz Show, Day 2 (of 2)

I woke up at 5:00 am. There was no chance of me going back to sleep, thinking of the day ahead of me, so I took a shower and dried my hair. Put on my jeans and a sweatshirt. I got a text at 7:10 saying that the driver was on location to take me to the studio. I didn't have to be there until 8, but I was already ready, so I just went down anyway.

I had the same driver that picked me up from the airport. He was surprised that I was ready so early. When I got to the studio, there was someone waiting for the guests, and he took us upstairs. I saw Margaret and Ali, and they showed me to my dressing room.

I drank a bottle of water immediately, because I was super thirsty. I'm used to drinking tons of water, but I was afraid to drink the bottles that were in the hotel room--I figured they'd charge me $10 a bottle or something! ;)  There were bran muffins, fruit skewers, and almonds too. But I didn't eat anything. I was too nervous to eat, and I really didn't want to have to go to the bathroom after eating all that fiber, lol.

I was sharing this dressing room with Jennie, who was in the same segment of the show as me. She appears just before me on the show. She's lost 300 pounds!! And she did it all by diet and exercise. We were swapping recipes and tips in the dressing room.

Someone from the Dr. Oz Show came in and had me sign a waiver and also gave me a $60 stipend for food and/or parking expenses. I wish I'd have known they would do that when I got my dinner last night! I would have chosen something much more indulgent ;)

Margaret insisted that I take out my nose piercing :(  She also wanted to shorten the length of my dress, which I was fine with (as long as it would still allow me to wear Spanx!). I went into the wardrobe room and a woman had me try on my dress, then she used some sort of tape to hem it shorter. I was wearing Spanx underneath, which came down almost to the bottom of my dress, so I was worried the Spanx would show when I sat down on stage to talk to Dr. Oz. Margaret saw it after it was hemmed and STILL wanted to go even shorter, but when I showed her how short it got when I sat, she agreed to let it be. I'm not a prude, I swear! I just didn't want my Spanx sticking out.

Next began what would be my FAVORITE part of the day. The show brought in a celebrity hair-stylist and make-up artist (and their assistants) to fix us up! Normally the show doesn't do the hair and make-up stuff, but this show included a couple of make-overs, so they had all of us get done up.

I don't watch the show What Not to Wear, but I learned that my hairstylist is a stylist on that show! His name is Ted Gibson. I didn't learn just who he was until after I did my part on the show. He was SO NICE and I absolutely loved what he did with my hair. He cut some more layers into it and blew it out straight. Then he used a curling iron to add some big curls.

Meanwhile, I got my make-up done as well by the sweetest man--and dammit, I forget his name!  I was in shock at how great my skin looked when he was done. He kept fussing to make sure everything was perfect, and he remained so calm, even though Margaret was telling them that we needed to be done NOW. I wanted to take him home with me!

I loved the hair and make-up! I was a little concerned about how RED my lipstick was, but I figured that he knew better than me, so I might as well just go with it. I quickly put my dress back on and then Margaret hurried us to the stage for a quick rehearsal.

I was amazed by the audience! They were having so much fun, and I wanted to be in the audience as soon as I saw them. There was a comedian there, and loud music playing, and everyone was singing and dancing. They saw us come out for rehearsal, but didn't really watch us. Jennie and I had to practice stepping through a huge zero... this was the 400th show, and they had the numerals up on stage and that is how we would make our appearance.

It was so hard to do! My shoes were a little too big, so they wanted to slide on and off. The (stage director?) told me to go slowly and NOT touch the side of the 0 while I stepped through. It included going up a step, over the bottom of the 0 and onto another step, then down to the floor. I felt like it took me forever to step through!

After that, we waited backstage with a bunch of the (stage crew? not sure what the technical names of these positions are!)  We got to watch a TV that was basically like watching the show live. Jennie's story was first, and I almost cried watching her photos and narrative. I had to turn away when they revealed her surprise phone call from Dr. Oz about her teeth. Then she walked out on the stage and did an AMAZING job--she was funny, she looked natural, she had great answers.

I was just thinking, "How the hell am I supposed to follow THAT story?!"

Then, as I was sitting there, I heard my voice--loud. I saw that they were playing my photos and narrative, and I just cringed. I felt like I sounded horrible. Then it was my turn to walk out. The stage director man walked with me toward the 0, and told me to go slow and easy, stop at my mark, wave and smile, then watch for a the signal to go to Dr. Oz.  I stepped through the 0, trembling something fierce, and walked to my spot. I smiled and waved, feeling a little silly, then walked to Dr. Oz and gave him a hug.

I don't remember the first few things he said as we sat down, but then I made sure to listen really well in case he asked me something that I didn't prepare for. I couldn't.stop.trembling.  It was driving me crazy! You know how your body shakes when you try to hold a certain pose (like holding plank!) Well, I was shaking like that, and I couldn't control it. I hope it wasn't visible on TV!

I answered a few questions in the chairs, then we walked over to the food props. I talked about breakfast and I wasn't too thrilled with the way my "No Bake Cookie Oatmeal" looked, but I hope I sounded okay there.  Then I walked to the dessert table, where I saw my pumpkin brownies with peanut butter swirled on top. They looked fantastic! I was surprised to see red wine there, because I thought that had been cut from the show. I wasn't prepared to talk about it! I just said that I love wine, especially red wine, and I like to have it with chocolate sometimes (or something like that!)

After that, Dr. Oz mentioned my "before" picture with him, and asked if I would like to take an "after" pic with him as well. I said "Absolutely!" and we posed on stage for a photographer. And then it was over! The stage director waved me off, and I stood by watching the rest of the segment when they surprised a mother and daughter with make-overs by the team that did my hair and make-up.

I went back to my dressing room and watched some of the show, but mostly chatted with Jennie. I made sure to grab my make-up artist and hair stylist to tell them thank you, and I got a picture with each of them.

I changed into the clothes I wore the day before, because I didn't want to wear my dress home. And I had to give the heels back to the stylist. My driver arrived (a different man this time, who didn't speak more than a couple of words to me). He drove me to the airport (it was about 12:30, and my flight was at 3:00). My plan was to go through security and then find a bar restaurant that I could sit and have a big lunch (I was starving at this point) and a glass or two of wine. Well, La Guardia sucks! All the sit-down restaurants (and alcohol!) were BEFORE security.

So once I got past security, my options were a couple of shops that sold tons of baked goods and Au Bon Pain. I got a turkey sandwich from Au Bon Pain and a little container of chocolate covered almonds (to have on the plane). The sandwich was super dry and gross, but I ate about 3/4 of it because I was so hungry.

The plane was just a little bigger than the last one--four seats per row this time--but there were only 15 people total on the flight!! I was seated in an aisle (which I hate--I must be by a window to avoid sheer panic) next to a woman. I asked the flight attendant if I could move up a row, and it was fine. Everyone on the plane got their own row!

I paid $7 for a glass of cheap pinot grigio on the plane, but I totally needed that. I ate all of my almonds, and enjoyed every bite.  Flight was a little bumpy, but it didn't bother me after the wine.  Got into Detroit and rushed to get out of the airport and to my parents' house to pick up my boys. They gave me flowers :)

It was SUCH an amazing experience, and I'm so happy that I got to do it!!

I e-mailed Margaret and Ali to find out when I will get the "after" photos of me with Dr. Oz (as well as a DVD of the show) and they said they will mail them out as soon as the show airs. So I'll post them when I get them!

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I just watched the show, and a LOT of it was edited--not just from me, but from Jennie as well. Bummer! Did you see the brownies and wine in the background at least?!  lol

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My appearance on The Dr. Oz Show, Day 1 (of 2)

The morning was totally chaotic. I had to get my kids ready to take to my parents house, and at the same time get myself ready to head to NYC. My flight was at 11:25 AM, and I left for the airport pretty early, at 9:00. The plane was absolutely tiny--three seats per row, and only like 13 rows. I was in the very front by the window. I didn't take any Xanax because I didn't want to feel drowsy when I got to the studio.

The flight was pretty smooth, and I saw a couple of cool things out the window. There was a corn maze in the shape of a spider web and a spider (being the day after Halloween, it was very appropriate). I saw all the snow that dumped on the east coast. And then I saw THE CITY. I couldn't believe how amazing it was from the plane--I could see everything!

When we landed, we actually had to go down portable steps and get into a bus that took us to the terminal. Like I said, VERY small plane!  I was supposed to go to baggage claim and find my driver, who would be holding a sign with my last name on it. He was easy to spot, because he was VERY tall (I later learned he was 6'10"). He was SUPER nice, and he chatted with me all the way to the studio, which was about 30-40 minutes away.

When I learned that he drives a lot of celebrities, I wanted to hear all about them--and he told me some fun info about his opinions of certain people ;)  When he asked about why I was going to appear on The Dr. Oz Show, and I told him about my weight loss, he said that as a very tall person, he has a lot of the same physical issues that obese people have. He's even broken a few chairs.

So I arrived at Rockefeller Plaza (where the studio is) and had to check in with security. They gave me a little pass to swipe to get to the elevators. I couldn't figure out how to work it, and someone came over to help me. Classy as always. Then Kyle, the travel coordinator for the Dr. Oz Show saw me and took me up to the offices.

I met Ali, the producer who first discovered my e-mail and got the ball rolling for me--she was SO NICE, and I immediately liked her. Then I met Margaret, who I feel knows more about me than a lot of my friends by now--she's the one that wrote the show, and asked me millions of questions in order to do so.  I met other people, and I feel awful that I don't remember everyone's names. Everybody was super friendly, and made me feel very comfortable.

Margaret went over the gist of the show with me, and then I went to this little sound booth to record a narration (I forget what they call it). At the beginning of my part of the show, there are my pictures shown on the screen and my voice narrating in the background. Everything I said was pretty accurate, but I just wish I'd had more of a say in what content was there. I just hope it sounded sincere!

I did request one change, which they made for me. I had to read it directly off the paper (over and over again, with someone instructing me HOW to say it).  While I was waiting to do the voice, I chatted with the sound-guy (again, forget his name!)  I asked him a million questions about how it all works and he explained it to me. I asked him if he watches the show, and he said no. LOL

After recording that part (it only took about 10 minutes total), I went into Margaret's office and role-played the show about four times (she played Dr. Oz asking me questions, and I answered). I still didn't feel 100% confident with my answers, and there were lots of things I wanted to say but I couldn't--I wanted to mention Sparkpeople, my blog, and some of the advice that you all told me I should mention. When watching the show, you wouldn't even realize it's me, because I didn't get to say any of the things that I find MOST relevant to my weight loss (like RUNNING for example; Sparkpeople; my blog; not making changes you aren't willing to live with forever). But I'll talk about that part later.

After role-playing with Margaret, an intern (she had a cool name and now I forget!) took me to Lucky Magazine's offices where I was told I was going to have a clothes fitting. This ended up being the worst part of my trip. There were three dresses the Lucky stylist chose for me, and they were HIDEOUS (in my opinion, of course!). One of them, the stylist agreed wasn't even an option when I put it on. The other two, she really liked, but I HATED. I was nearly in tears as I tried them on.

They were very blousy and large--like a muumuu. But because they were cinched in the waist, she told me they were "slimming". And she wanted me to wear black tights with them. Now, I'm certainly no stylist for Lucky magazine, but I would NEVER make someone wear these dresses!  I'm embarrassed to even show them here:

SERIOUSLY?! I was smiling for the pics, but I felt the lump in my throat and I really just wanted to get to my hotel room and cry. I couldn't believe this was happening. I am NOT a picky person, and I was so grateful for everything that The Dr. Oz Show was doing for me, but I couldn't go on TV looking like that. I told the intern how I felt, and she said she would relay the message to Ali.

The stylist seemed offended that I didn't like her choices, so I didn't want to dwell on it in front of her. But it didn't help that she said I was "hippy"--meaning that I have big hips. What the?! First, I don't think I have big hips at ALL for my body size; and second, I had just lost 100+ pounds and the last thing you should point out is a flaw in my body. That does not help one's self-esteem.

The intern escorted me (in a cab) to my hotel. I was staying at the AKA Central Park, and it was awesome. I checked in, went up to my room, and took a few pictures before messing things up:

I called Jerry, and just started sobbing. I told him that I made a big mistake, that I shouldn't have come. I was going to look like an idiot on national TV, and it was too late to back out. He told me the dresses couldn't be THAT bad (typical man-response, right?!).  I was starving at this point, because I had a protein shake for breakfast at 7:00, then a Larabar on the plane. And that was IT, and it was now 6:00 pm.

I then started crying because I wanted to get something for dinner, but it was NYC and I didn't want to get lost or hurt going out by myself. I just felt SO overwhelmed. I stopped crying long enough to talk to my mom and sister on the phone (I didn't want them to know how upset I was). Then I felt sorry for myself a little longer. Then I wiped all the mascara off my face and went down to the lobby.

I asked if there was anything super close by that I could eat, and he told me some ideas. I walked down the street and realized that DUH, it's NYC, there is food everywhere. So I walked halfway around the block and found a restaurant that looked decent. The people working there were rude, but I learned quickly that nearly everybody I encountered was rude in NYC (at least compared to where I live). I ordered dinner and took it back to my room at the hotel.

Penne with tomatoes and basil, salad, garlic bread and Sprite Zero. Not pictured: An oatmeal raisin cookie for dessert.  I ate about 3/4 of the penne, two bites of salad (it was gross), all of the bread, and the cookie. I wasn't stuffed, but I was definitely satisfied, and feeling better.

I started watching a stupid movie on HBO and then Ali (the producer) called. She said she heard about the dress situation, and if I wanted to, I could wear the dress that I brought. I was so happy I would have kissed her had she been in front of me. (FYI, I brought along the blue/black dress that I wore to Sarah's bridal shower in June).  After eating, and hearing from Ali, I was feeling much better. I started going over the questions that Dr. Oz was most likely going to ask me, and trying to smooth out my answers.

Then Margaret called and said that she had to cut out parts of the show for time--they were eliminating parts from everyone. She took out two questions, and I was bummed to see that one of them was about advice that I have for others, where I was going to talk about not making any changes that you aren't willing to live with FOREVER. On the other hand, it was nice to have less questions to worry about answering! Margaret was great with helping me feel prepared for the show!

I took a Xanax so that I could calm down enough to be able to sleep, and I was asleep by 10.

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Facebook

Just FYI--I've always kept my Facebook account private--just for my real-life friends and family. So I finally decided to create a Runs for Cookies page on Facebook. I'm not sure how much I'll use it, but after the newspaper thing came out yesterday, I got friend requests from people I've never heard of; hopefully I can direct them to the Runs for Cookies page.

Soooo... if you'd like, you can "like" me on Facebook now (IF I figured out the whole thing correctly! I'm not exactly a Facebook expert).

The page can be found here:  https://www.facebook.com/pages/Runs-for-Cookies/305741636112327

Don't feel obligated to "like" it. As I said, I always liked to keep Facebook and my blog completely separate, but it's hard to do that now with my Dr. Oz appearance (on today! I'm so nervous!)

I have my blog posts about the show scheduled to post at 5:00 today.

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