Wednesday Weigh-In: Week 123

As you may have noticed, I didn't write Monday or Tuesday. And I had no real reason not to! I've had kind of an odd week (or week and a half, actually). My mood was different, and I don't really know how to describe it. Not depressed or anything, but just maybe unmotivated?

Last night, it hit me that it started after my appointment with my psychiatrist last week; we'd changed the dose of one of my medications. Nothing major, but I'm glad to actually see a reason for my odd mood. It's been noticeably better for a few days now, so maybe I'm adjusted.

Overall, compared to the past year, I've been in a much better mood than I have in a long time. My anxiety is down to about a 5/10, which is probably the lowest it ever is. And I haven't felt sad or depressed. I definitely can't complain!

I'm not sure whether or not the med change has anything to do with why I haven't been eating great for a couple of weeks. I'm still eating healthy foods (most of the time) but I tend to pick high-calorie foods and I eat too much of them. I swear, peanut butter is going to be the death of me! I decided last week that I can't have it in the house. The only peanut butter that I eat is Smucker's Natural, and the rest of the family doesn't like it. They have their kind of peanut butter (the super smooth stuff; I think it's Jif) and I don't like it so it's not a problem to keep in the house. But I am not going to buy the Smucker's (at least for a while).

After getting rid of the peanut butter, I started snacking on mixed nuts instead. They have just as many calories, but I thought maybe I'd be able to eat less and feel satisfied. I learned I was wrong, haha. Nuts are so easy to overeat without even realizing it. A portion size is so small! And worse, it's so easy to just grab a handful here and there throughout the day--totally mindless snacking.

So, I skipped last week's weigh-in, knowing that it probably wouldn't be helpful (mentally) to see what damage the peanut butter had done. I would have liked to skip today, but I know that if I do, it will only be that much easier to just stop accountability weigh-ins altogether. And the weigh-ins help me!

Anyway, I'm not really sure whether my weight was better or worse than I thought:

I was at 134.4. In my mind, I was sure I'd gained 10 pounds over the last two weeks, so I was happy to see that it was "only" 3.8 pounds. However, that's how it starts... my mindset goes to "Well, it's only a few pounds, and I'm still in my maintenance range, so it's no big deal." If it was up a few pounds from a heavy meal or even a week of a larger than normal appetite, then that's totally fine with me. That's why I chose to have a range for maintenance (125-135) rather than a set number.

BUT. I know that this isn't due to one of those reasons; it's because I was eating a lot more calories than I was burning.

Something that I learned from my meeting with Pete Thomas (season two at-home winner of The Biggest Loser) was that if you're *going* to overeat, at least minimize the damage by eating lower calorie things. He wasn't saying it's good to overeat; just that if you do, make it something that isn't high in calories. (Nuts are definitely a poor choice to overeat, haha.)

Yesterday, I had popcorn instead of nuts for a snack (Jerry and I watched a scary movie), and I have fruit on hand to eat as well. I used to eat a couple of apples in the evenings and it was really satisfying, so maybe I'll do that again. Fruit always helps when I'm in a mood where I just want to eat. And it makes me feel good!

Even though my mood was unmotivated, I've still been working on my habits. I didn't add any new ones like I'd planned, but I've been continuing the same routine that I was doing last month. I've run every morning for 34 days in a row--I've never done that before. I actually really enjoy the super short (half-mile) runs. It wakes me up for the day and it starts my whole morning routine.

Also, Joey loves it. He likes routine as much as I do, so walks at random times each day weren't ideal; now that he knows we go first thing when I wake up, he gets really excited. I thrive on routine, and adding the "atomic" habits to my days has made sticking to a routine become pretty automatic--and that was my goal.

I'm really hoping that this week will go better!