April 30, 2011

The vacation damage

OHMYLORD... I just stepped on the scale after my week-long vacation in Tennessee. It was NOT a nice number. In fact, this is the heaviest I've been since JULY 2010!  I was so very tempted not to write the number here, because it's horribly embarrassing.

But... it was 147.5.

Now, I know that gaining 8 pounds in the week I was in Tennessee means that it will probably come off quickly too. It's mostly water weight, blah blah blah. But the point is, that number puts me back in the "overweight" category for my BMI.

How I spent 90% of my vacation ;)

Was I surprised to see the number? Hahaha, not at all!  Once I got to the cabin, all of my good intentions went out the window. My dad (who is a total junk food-aholic) brought tons of candy bars, cookies, chips, dips, donuts, etc. to snack on.

I always used to hate donuts (even as a fat person, donuts just disgusted me). However, I tried a Krispy Kreme donut on vacation and it was delicious!! So I had about 5 of those over the course of the week.

I can't count the number of mini candy bars I ate. I drank 4 bottles of red wine (by myself--I'm the only wine drinker in my family). I probably had about 6 beers.

I had hamburgers, turkey dinner with a second helping, tons of chips and dip, a couple of bowls of ice cream, about 6 cookies, 2 pieces of pizza, loaded nachos... I can't remember what else. I didn't "binge", however--these things were all eaten throughout the week, sporadically throughout the day. My body is not used to eating that much junk, and of course it just packed on the 8 pounds in 7 days.  The exercise I got was a 3-mile and a 7-mile run. I also went for a few walks and there were TONS of stairs at our cabin.

On the 8-hour car ride home yesterday, I read Portia de Rossi's book called Unbearable Lightness. It was an AMAZING read for anyone that has disordered eating. I'm not bulimic or anorexic, but I AM a binge eater and I definitely have done my share of dieting (a form of disordered eating).

So much of her book really hit home for me. Reading that book really got me thinking about all the ups and downs--I'm either bingeing or dieting/restricting all the time. More than anything, I'd love to find balance in my life and my way of eating. To not binge and to not restrict. "Ordered" eating, instead of "disordered" eating.

And I'd like to live each day the way that I'd like to live forever. Each meal, even. I've been keeping that in mind now--when I want to eat, I ask myself, "Is this something that will help me maintain a healthy balance?" For some reason, that really resonated with me.

Anyway, that was my vacation damage. I'm going away again on Friday to Indianapolis for my first half-marathon. We'll be gone from Friday to Sunday. Thankfully, my dad isn't going, so I won't be loading up on junk! ;)  Last year, I actually lost weight when I was in Indy. Hopefully that will be the case again.


  1. I read that book too. i just couldnt believe how down she was on herself, how ugly and fat and a horrible actress she was. i used to watch her on arrested development and just thought she was a beautiful and great actress.
    im sure the weight will come off soon, your body is like WTF. :)

  2. I've actually heard that when you're having trouble losing your last few pounds, it's good to eat sort of "off diet" for a week and then get back on track.. sort of like backing up and getting a running start at losing those last few pounds. Now if that's true, I have no clue, lol. But it sounds nice! Good luck in Indy. I hope you know that you have SOOO many people rooting for you :)

  3. It's busymommy..I absolutely hate how easy it is to put on weight. I read you and I feel like it is something I could have written. I'm either all in or off. There's no 'ordered' eating for me. I have to be consciously thinking about it or I fall off. It's frustrating. Were there answers in that book? Maybe I should pick up a copy

  4. AnonymousMay 09, 2011

    Have you seen Food, Inc.? I highly recommend the movie. It helped me completely get off of processed junk and it wasn't even a difficult choice. I had no idea how disgusting the food supply has become.

    We really have to stop and think what genetically modified foods and confined animals raised on hormones and antibiotics running around in their feces does to our long term health. It's just not worth it for some lousy processed food that really just tastes "ok" at best.

  5. I read a book this summer and one of the things that really stuck with me was this, "(fill in the blank with food of choice) is permissible, but is it beneficial to me?" It's that old saying, "you always want what you CAN'T have". I realized I CAN have anything I want, but asking myself is it beneficial somehow stuck with me. I think of it daily!

  6. I just want you to know that I just discovered your blog and you today, and I am amazed. You sound exactly like me, except I haven't lost 100 pounds and I binge everyother day or so (I like to say "only on the days i work) Anyway, I've found your blog and first I read you're 3 latest posts, then I read every post about your tummy tuck, and then I started at the beginning and am working my way through every post. I just finished April. And I'm pretty sure my coworkers hate me. I don't know that I've done any actual work in about 4 hours. I am going to keep reading, but you may have convinced me to revamp my sparkpeople acct and try again for the 100th time.


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