March 09, 2020

I just can't right now



Today was a really bad today. This whole weekend sucked, actually. I don't know why stressful things all come at me at one time, but the timing of my car quitting on me Friday couldn't have been worse.

I'm going to write more about it, but I am emotional right now because I'm stressed to my max limit, so I'm just going to go to bed and write about it tomorrow. Hopefully feeling better.

To end on a positive note, though, I took Joey for a walk in the 65-degree temps today! It was SO nice outside. I started my walking program again, hoping that I was healed from my fall off the ladder (turns out, I am not... but I'll write about that later).

I let Joey off the leash when we were at the lake, and he loved running along the shore. And, of course, getting in the water at the boat launch!



Whenever we are near water, Joey likes me to throw rocks into the water. It's an OBSESSION of his. He will stare at me with a goofy grin until I cave in and throw some pebbles. He leaps into the air like he's going to chase after it, but he turns around immediately and stares me down again until I throw another.

It makes no sense. But I indulge him anyways, because how could you NOT, when looks at you like this?







Okay, I'm going to bed. Hopefully, I'll be in a better mood tomorrow.


March 08, 2020

My Earliest Childhood Memory (a writing prompt)

My earliest childhood memory.

Once in a while a certain smell or sound will make me feel a sense of déjà vu, but I don't actually remember a lot of my childhood. And a lot of what I do remember could just be my mind playing tricks on me.

However, when thinking of my earliest childhood memory, I really think that I remember it correctly. People have told me about the situation itself, but I do believe I remember the event leading up to it.

I was two years old. I remember that I was sitting on a "bike trailer" that my dad had made. You know the wooden flat bed trailers that hook up to cars or trucks? Well, my dad made one to hook up to bikes. I was only two years old at the time, so I wasn't riding a bike, but Jeanie and Brian were 10 and 8 respectively.

This is what I looked like when I was two years old:


I don't remember who was on the bike when I was sitting on the trailer (if anyone). We weren't moving anywhere. We were just sitting in the driveway, and other kids (my cousins) were riding bikes up and down the street of our neighborhood.

My cousin, Kim, was babysitting me and my siblings.

I was sitting on the bike trailer eating a piece of cheese when one of my cousins (I remember who, but I don't want to say in case I remember this incorrectly) rode his bike up to the trailer and bumped his tire against the edge of the trailer.

This is where my memory stops, and the words that others have told me begin.

I started choking on a piece of cheese. Kim, who was babysitting, was actually in nursing school at the time. She ran to the neighbors to call an ambulance, but in the meantime, she worked on trying to dislodge the cheese that I was choking on.

I actually passed out because the cheese was lodged in my trachea for so long.

From what I was told, Kim managed to dislodge the cheese and I was (obviously) okay. I don't know how long I was unconscious. Like I said, all I remember was the moment right before it happened.

Kim went on to become an amazing OB nurse. She had three daughters, and I was very close to Kaitlin, her first. This photo below is of my (favorite) Aunt Mickey, Kim, me, and Kaitlin, shortly after Kaitlin was born.


Another memory I have from very early on was being at Kim's house and she gave me vanilla yogurt with blueberries, and I loved it. As you know, I despise yogurt, but that's the only time I can remember actually enjoying it. Just last week I was thinking about it, because Eli asked me to buy him some yogurt. I bought vanilla yogurt and a pint of blueberries.

I was very lucky while growing up--I didn't know death very well, because nobody close to me had ever died before. My grandma died from Alzheimer's when I was 17, but we weren't very close. Most of my memories of her are from when I was young--and even at that, I don't remember much. She lived in the house behind ours, and we used to watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy there in the evenings.

Kim died very young (she was in her early 40's). She had cancer. When she was diagnosed, it never occurred to me that she might die. I know it sounds cliché, but Kim was truly one of the nicest people on the planet. I've yet to meet anyone as kind-hearted as she was.

Kissing my friend Lance at Kim's wedding:



After I had Noah and discovered that I wasn't able to breastfeed (I never produced any milk), Kim was a big comfort to me. She was an OB nurse and I talked to her about the problems I was having while trying to breastfeed. It wasn't too long after that that she was diagnosed with cancer.

I love that she was the one who saved me from choking. I choked for a long time, and if she hadn't intervened, I wouldn't be here today. It's such a crazy thought. I sometimes wonder if she ever thought of it in the years after it happened.

Interestingly, another very early memory I have (I had to have been only 3-4 years old at the time) is when my dad saw a mother in a panic on the side of the road because her son was choking. We were just driving by, but my dad saw her and stopped the car. When we pulled over, my dad ended up shaking the boy upside down (which was "normal" for helping young choking victims at the time). He dislodged the object (I think it was a hard candy) and we went on our way.

To this day, I have a huge fear of choking. Not just for myself, but for others around me. When Luke and Riley come over, I cut up their food so small that the minuscule pieces probably look ridiculous. And I am constantly reminding Noah and Eli to chew their food well.

Ironically, when Eli was a toddler, he choked on his food a LOT. I can't even tell you how often I had to do the heimlich maneuver on him. When we took him to a pediatric dentist, he said that Eli's molars weren't coming together, so he couldn't thoroughly chew his food.

Eli had to get braces at three years old to correct his bite so that he could chew his food properly.


Choking is scary stuff! It seems like nobody ever DIES from choking (I, personally, don't know anyone who has died from it), but there were over 5,000 people in the United States to die from choking in 2018. It's such a tragic death, if you think about it.

Anyway, the whole point of this post was my earliest childhood memory. Even though choking doesn't seem like a good memory, I don't feel badly about it. I remember having fun with my siblings and cousins that day, and I have the knowledge that my cousin, Kim, saved me. She's been gone for a long time, but I still think of her often.

It's kind of odd, the things we remember from when we were young. I just have a series of quick flashbacks. Nothing very long, but more like still photos when I think of my earliest memories.

If you have early childhood memories, no matter how random, please share! I find it so interesting.

March 07, 2020

One of the Most Surreal Experiences of My Life: Guts to Glory


Yesterday, something popped up on my "Facebook Memories" that made me stop and think back to what a crazy experience I had back in 2014.

In 2009, I never, ever, EVER would have believed you if you told me that this would happen in just 5 years. In 2009, I was 253 pounds (my heaviest non-pregnant weight). My only exercise consisted of walking around my house doing laundry, cooking, etc.

I had never run a single mile in my entire life (I always got out of it in gym class). I hated exercise SO much. I dreamed of losing weight, but I wanted to do it without exercising. I basically wanted to go to sleep one night and just wake up skinny.

I remember asking my friend Renee about her running--I specifically asked, "So, if you were to just go out and run one mile, would that be easy? What would that feel like?" I was stunned when she seemed sort of taken aback, replying, "Yeah, I could do that. I wouldn't be out of breath or anything, unless I was running really hard. But running a mile isn't hard."

She seemed almost embarrassed (I guess "humble" would be the right word) about the fact that running a mile was no big deal to her. I, on the other hand, was speechless. "Seriously, you can run a mile like it's no big deal?!" I asked her.

It was Renee that started me on my running journey. She saw that I had written "Enter a 5K race and RUN it" on my list of 30 goals by the time I'm 30 years old. I honestly never really expected to do it, but since I love writing goals, it made sense at the time.

After seeing that on my list, she followed up with a card saying that she was supportive of me and would help me prepare for the race; and that she'd even run it with me. I faked the excitement; I was honestly feeling sort of frustrated that I would actually have to follow through. I couldn't make excuses for this one.

But I didn't want to let her down. So, I signed up for a 5K that was in October 2010, and I started training in May 2010 after I walked a half-marathon in Indy.

I was able to run the 5K distance within weeks (I think about 6 weeks?). I wasn't fast, but I was able to do it. I kept training, going farther and faster as time went on. I ran my first half-marathon in May 2011, and my first full marathon in May 2012.

Who was that person?! Certainly not me.

So, imagine how shocking it was on March 6, 2014, to see my photo on a full page spread in April 2014's edition of RUNNER'S WORLD MAGAZINE.



It was SO surreal. How on earth had I gone from 253 pounds and not exercising at all to 133 pounds and running marathons? That alone was mind-blowing, but then to be in RUNNER'S WORLD magazine? What!

RW sent a photographer all the way from Chicago to do a photoshoot. We went to my parents' house because they have a huge backroom that would give the photographer plenty of space.

My friend Stephanie, who does photography as a hobby (she's amazing!) was very interested in watching, so I invited her over to watch. She took some pictures during the process, which were pretty fun to see--the side by side of the behind-the-scenes vs. what was in the magazine (or at least considered for the magazine).

Here are a few:





Runner's World had sent me a bunch of clothes and even shoes to try on and use for the photoshoot. Whatever I wore for the shoot, they let me keep. It was so exciting!

The photographer said that RW wanted photos of me being "serious" and "strong"--not smiling. I cannot take a picture like that! I remember at my wedding, the photographer said the same thing--he tried to get some serious photos, but I just can't do it. I look ridiculous when I don't smile.

Anyway, here are some other photos that were shot that day:



I just cannot believe that this all happened. Looking back on it, it feels like a dream. Runner's World magazine is very well-known in the running community, and to say that I was blessed enough to share my store in it? Well, I just can't express the words.

Here is the article (my pages, anyway). You can click on these to enlarge--hopefully they'll be readable!




It's been six years, and so much has happened since then. But I am so so so grateful to have had this experience!

March 06, 2020

RECIPE: Peanut Butter-Stuffed Chocolate Cookies


I'm not a baker. Like, in any sense of the word. I will admit that I'm a good cook, but when it comes to baking, I somehow mess up SOMETHING in the recipe and it doesn't turn out.

However, I managed to make some cookies that were actually amazing. I love the chocolate/peanut butter combination, and when I saw this recipe, I couldn't resist. It's like a peanut butter cup, only in cookie form. So perfect!

Anyway, when I do bake something that turns out delicious, it's worth sharing...




Here is a printer-friendly version of the recipe!


This recipe is originally from the Taste of Home Winning Recipes book.

Peanut Butter Stuffed Chocolate Cookies

1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 cup creamy peanut butter, divided
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup baking cocoa
1/2 tsp. baking soda
3/4 cup powdered sugar

In a large mixing bowl, cream butter, sugars, and 1/4 cup of the peanut butter. Add egg and vanilla; mix well. Combine the flour, cocoa, and baking soda; add to creamed mixture and mix until uniform. The dough will be thick. Divide the dough into 24 pieces, and flatten each piece into a small circle, about 3-inches in diameter.

In a mixing bowl, blend powdered sugar with remaining 3/4 cup peanut butter until smooth. Again, dough will be thick. Roll into 24 balls, about 1 inch diameter, and flatten slightly.

Place one peanut butter ball on each chocolate circle; bring edges of chocolate dough over to completely cover peanut butter ball (dough may crack; reshape cookies as needed).

Place cookies seam-side down on un-greased baking sheets. Flatten each cookie very slightly with your hands or the bottom of a glass.

Bake at 375 degrees F for 7-9 minutes or until set. Remove to wire racks to cool. Make sure you cool completely before eating. Makes 2 dozen cookies.

And because I'm counting calories/WW PointsPlus, I actually calculated the info on these. Here ya go! This is the nutrition info for one cookie:



March 05, 2020

When one light goes on, they all go on


I have had the most STRESSFUL day ever.

This morning, it was time to take the kids to school, and there was frost on my windows. So I started the car and then started scraping the windows, which took about three minutes.

When I got back in the car, Noah said that the car wasn't on. I was confused and said yes it was, as I put it in reverse and released the brake. I realized that just the battery was on. I was sure I had started it, but I don't know. Either way, I just shut it off and then tried to restart it and it wouldn't work. The battery was working, but the engine wouldn't turn over.

Then I shifted shifted it to park, shut off everything, and tried to start the car. Just the battery came on. Then my key was stuck in the ignition! I was halfway down the driveway, almost in the street, and since I couldn't get it started, I put the car in neutral to push it back up the driveway.

Well, it rolled backward a little, halfway into the street. I hit the brakes, but I had no way of getting it back into the driveway. The parking brake engaged, and then I was really screwed. With the parking brake on, I couldn't push it forward, even in neutral. I was literally halfway into the street (and my street is very narrow. Thankfully, we don't get much traffic.

I was panicked. I had to get the kids to school, but Jerry was at work and my parents were on vacation. It was my turn to carpool with Noah's friend, so I wasn't able to do that. I had Noah call them to let them know that my car was all messed up and I couldn't drive. I'm SO GRATEFUL that Noah's friends' mom was able to drive--she even went out of her way to pick up Noah and Eli in order to drop off Eli at school and then take Noah to school. The kids were 10 minutes late, so I felt really bad; but otherwise, they would have had to miss school.

After they left, I called my dad. He talked me through a lot--disconnecting the battery, trying all sorts of different things to get a response. There were so many indicator lights on!



I was watching YouTube videos about each problem I encountered, and one of them was helpful in manually shifting gears. After shifting gears, I was able to push it back up the driveway, but only a foot or two. I had a 2x4 board behind the tires to keep it from rolling back down.

My brother, Brian, came over to try to help. If for nothing else then to help me get it back in the driveway somehow. He couldn't figure out the problem, either. I got to play with Luke and Riley while he was messing around with the car, though. I gave Luke Eli's old iPod, and he uses it like a phone (he can send and receive text messages and FaceTime and all that, as long as he has wifi).

He took a selfie and sent it to me. So funny!


He FaceTimed my mom, which was funny to watch, too. I don't think he understands that she can see him, too, so my mom got lots of views of the ceiling and floor while he walked around talking to her, hahaha.

Riley was adorable, wanting to pet the cats and Joey. She used to be afraid of Joey, but Becky told me to start acting like everything was totally normal, and not to lock Joey in a bedroom or keep him away from the kids. It was instantaneous--the last time they came over, I didn't make any big deal at all about Joey being here, and the kids were totally calm around him. I'm glad that Riley's not afraid of him anymore.

Anyway, Brian couldn't figure out what the problem was, so we pushed the car into the street and then pushed it back into the driveway (horizontally, so it wouldn't be angled up the slope of my driveway).


Some of the indicator lights seem to show that what happened had something to do with shifting gears while the car wasn't started and the emergency brake went on. It then got "stuck" with the emergency brake on somehow.

I was outside from 7:10 until 1:15, other than the hour when Luke and Riley were here. I read the manual, watched YouTube, read forums, tried EVERYTHING I could possible think of, and it just seems like my car is totally screwed.

The car isn't under warranty (except for the engine) anymore. Getting it towed and then fixed is way too much money. I just don't know what to do. I'm trying to cancel our trip to San Francisco due to the coronavirus issue, but I've been on hold with Delta for an hour now. Estimated wait time is 3 hours, 38 minutes. Good grief. If we can cancel the trip, then we'll have the money for the car.

Today has just not been fun. I'm frustrated and stressed out.

Noah is going to be taking the city bus home from school--he's never done that before. I remember doing it a few times when I was his age, and I really should take advantage of it more often. The ride is only $1! He'll have two transfers, but they are super easy (it's not exactly a big city). Then they will drive him right to our house. It's a 30 minute drive by car, and it will obviously take a little longer to get home, but they will get him here for $1--I can't believe it. It costs me more than that for gas money.

Let's just hope I can get everything back to normal soon. I hate days like this!

March 04, 2020

Peanut Butter & Co... What the heck? You're killin' me!


This is a super random, and probably dumb, post about peanut butter. Particularly some complaints I've had with a certain popular company--Peanut Butter & Co.!

For years, I have LOVED their peanut butter. My favorites are the White Chocolate Wonderful, the Dark Chocolate Dreams, and especially--my very favorite--Cinnamon Raisin Swirl (although I'd like it better if it didn't have the raisins! haha)

I really loved the consistency of the Cinnamon Raisin Swirl. It was thick, and it had a grainy texture (which was probably just sugar, but I'll deny that until the day I die).

They don't sell it around here anywhere that I could find, so I had to order it from Amazon. I never had a problem with it until my most recent orders over the last year or so. At first I thought I had a bad batch, but I have bought White Chocolate Wonderful, Dark Chocolate Dreams, and Cinnamon Raisin Swirl...

And ALL were terrible.

It's like PB&Co changed their recipe to add way more oil. The texture has gotten very runny, even after stirring it well. The color of the Cinnamon Raisin Swirl is much lighter (less cinnamon, maybe?) and it has practically no flavor except for oil. It also lacks the gritty texture that I loved.

I noticed that the label has changed, so I'm wondering if they changed the recipe right along with the label.



Aside from the fact that it tastes like nothing, I really hate the runny texture. You can't really spread it on anything, because it's so drippy. It's like it's almost to the melting point.



Opening the jars was the grossest part. There was SO MUCH oil! Like I said, I don't mind having to stir in oil on natural peanut butters. But this just looked terrible. It was all on one side. Who would pick this up in the store and want to buy it?! (Like I said I ordered online, and thankfully, Amazon gave me a refund. I can't eat this crap.)



The Dark Chocolate Dreams and White Chocolate Wonderful are pretty much the same--they have way too much oil and no flavor. I don't mind having to stir in the oil, but I've never had peanut butter this bad before!

It has the same runny texture, too:



Does anyone else notice a difference in the peanut butter over the last year or so? I buy the Dark Chocolate Dreams and the White Chocolate Wonderful from Kroger, and the Cinnamon Raisin Swirl from Amazon, so I know it's not just a particular store.

I LOVED these peanut butters (the old ones) so I really hope that I just got a bad (eight?) jars, hahaha. I give up. I'm not going to buy anymore, because I've thrown so much of it out.

I've also noticed a big difference in the texture of Justin's almond butter, but I can save that for another day. The texture is SO inconsistent. One jar will be incredibly runny and another will be way too dry and crumbly. That one is like dough--you could roll it around in your fingers!

Anyway, just curious if I was the only one having this problem. I'm sad--I don't eat peanut butter anymore.

(If, by chance, someone from Peanut Butter & Co. is reading this, would you please consider making Cinnamon Swirl--the same as (the old recipe of) Cinnamon Raisin Swirl, just without the raisins? I can't be alone in this request ;)  Please and thank you.

March 03, 2020

A "Friend-ly" Visitor


Yesterday, Noah and Eli were getting ready to take Joey for a walk. He got crazy excited, per usual, and as they headed out the door, Noah told Joey to get back inside. He told me there was a cat outside, and he didn't want Joey to see it.

When the boys stood on the porch outside, the cat noticed them and immediately ran right up to them. I've never seen a cat crave attention so much! He was solid black from head to toe, with the prettiest green eyes I've ever seen. I fell in love at first sight!





The kids wondered if it was Chip, from a couple of summers ago, the cat that we fed and treated for fleas and all that. I don't know if he was, in fact, Chip--but it's possible.

This cat was SO adorable! He literally couldn't get enough attention. He was super into Eli (animals are always drawn to Eli, likely because he's so compassionate toward every animal on earth) and kept running up onto Eli's lap, even climbing on Eli's shoulders.


Whenever the kids would stop petting him, he started bumping his head against their hands, wanting them to pet him again.

I couldn't stand the cuteness! I send some pictures to Jerry, and he said, "We are taking him in. His name is going to be Ben!" (Ross's son's name from Friends--to go with the theme of our pets, of course).




The cat looked pretty healthy and well-fed to me, so I said he probably belonged to somebody. Taking in a stray cat was not on a list of things I wanted to do, but when I fell in love with this cat, I was sure I wanted him. I decided to post a message on our neighborhood app to see if anyone was missing a black cat. I told the kids that if he came back around tomorrow, we'd consider keeping him if we couldn't find his owner.

The kids played with him for well over an hour outside. They gave him catnip and treats, and Eli brought out a couple of cat toys. I told Jerry that "Ben" was no cat name--and I said if we take him in, then I think "Geller" would be the best name for him. I actually think that's a great cat name! (Clearly, we are running low on "Friends" names)

And yes, the boys did take Joey on his walk. Poor dog was wondering why he was still in the house! ;)

Noah came inside to get his camera, and then when he went outside again, the cat was all over him. Noah tried running to the driveway to get some good pictures from a little farther away, but the cat ran SO fast at him that he wasn't able to get a good photo! It was so funny to watch.


The cat didn't come back today, unfortunately. If we see him again, and we can't find an owner, Jerry and I definitely want to take him in. He's the sweetest cat ever! <3 p="">

March 02, 2020

The "Golden Rule" That Helped Me Lose 125 Pounds

The Golden Rule That Helped Me Lose 125 Pounds


When losing weight, everybody asks how you're doing it. It's inevitable. And everybody wants to hear the special secret to it. Eating nothing but lettuce? Eating pounds of bacon and zero carbs? Eating only red fruits, green veggies, and white meat? Consuming nothing but coffee and smoking cigarettes? Dancing around a fire in the woods at midnight every day of the week?


I could always see that the spark of interest in their eyes while they asked the question was immediately extinguished when I said that I was just eating less food. (And eventually, exercising--I started exercising after I'd lost 60 pounds.)

I used to be just like them. I read every single success story, every single weight loss book and magazine, watched weight loss shows like The Biggest Loser... constantly looking for the special secret that I could do.

I tried all the diets, and I never stuck with them long enough to see results.

On August 19, 2009, I had an epiphany. It was the first day of yet another attempt to lose weight. I made an important decision after that first day of my (eventual) 125-pound weight loss. It's kind of funny how it came about...

There are very few foods that I dislike. I am willing to try eating anything at all, several times over. One food that I've tried umpteenth times is yogurt--I hate yogurt! I've tried all the flavors, all the types, and there is just something about it that I cannot stand.

I also don't love salad. I don't "hate" it like I do yogurt--sometimes I'll go through phases where I really like it and eat it for a few weeks--but I am definitely not a salad person. You will never see me go to a restaurant and order a salad.

Well, never say never...


(I must have been in a phase! But if I DO order a salad, it'll always be a caesar)

So, you know what I did my very first day of losing weight on August 19, 2009?

I ate both of those foods! I gagged down yogurt, because hey, it's "healthy" and that's what you're "supposed to eat". For lunch or dinner, I can't remember which, I ate salad. I'm sure that I wasn't in a salad mood and I probably gagged that down as well. WHY?

That night, when I was thinking about how much I hated trying to lose weight, and how badly I wanted to quit, it occurred to me that I hated it so much because I ate foods I didn't enjoy and I didn't eat the foods that I do enjoy. It seems completely backwards. Of course losing weight was miserable!

I decided that day that I wasn't going to do it anymore. I wasn't going to eat foods I hated just to lose weight. If I lost the weight by eating yogurt and salad, I would likely have to do that forever to maintain the weight loss. And that sounded miserable to me.

Another instance from that summer was when my friend asked me if I wanted to audition for The Biggest Loser with her. Even though I was fatter than I'd ever been, I said no. I was desperate to lose weight, but I was NOT willing to exercise for eight hours a day and eat next to nothing in order to drop 5+ pounds a week.

I told her that if you lose the weight that way, the only way to maintain it is to continue to do that. Your body will get so used to it that you'll have to continue. And of course I would burn out. I knew for sure that even if I auditioned, and was chosen, and hell, even if I WON the show, I would never be able to maintain that lifestyle. And I didn't want to live in misery for months on end while losing the weight.

Between those two instances, it finally hit me that I had been doing it all wrong for all of those years. Every time I attempted to lose the weight, I made changes that I hated. I tried doing tough workout videos, I tried eating yogurt and salad, I tried cutting out carbs, I even did a 10-day "master cleanse" where I consumed nothing but water with lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper. I could lose the weight in any of those ways if I stuck to them (I lost 16 pounds from the master cleanse, but a month later, I was right back to where I was before), but I certainly couldn't do those things forever.

I guess technically, I *could* do them forever... so that is why I chose to word my newfound "golden rule" the way I did:

Don't make changes you're not willing to do for the rest of your life.

This is something I've talked about and written about from the beginning of my weight loss, and it's probably been the biggest key to my weight loss and (semi) maintenance. Whenever people ask for my weight loss advice, the first thing I say is "Don't make any changes you're not willing to do for the rest of your life."

That sentence says so much and so little at the same time. I don't think I've ever written a post that really explains how and why that became my golden rule and how it helped me to stay determined to lose the weight, so that's why I chose to write about this.

I could certainly use a reminder myself right now! ;)

From that day forward, it was my golden rule. It's tempting sometimes to try all the new fad diets that everybody seems to be doing, but I just don't want to live like that. I want to enjoy my life!

(This is a reason I never wanted to get weight loss surgery, either. Eating tiny portions of food and getting sick every time I ate something I wasn't supposed to--for the rest of my life--was just not something I was willing to do.)

My golden rule made the process of losing weight more enjoyable. I don't want to say it was "easy" (nothing about losing weight is easy), but it made the process easier, enough to make me stick to it for the long term.

I was willing to eat smaller portions. I was willing to eat healthier things during the day if I could still have something for a "treat" at night--dessert or wine or something like that. I was willing to eat out less and cook more.


I was NOT willing to give up carbs. I was not willing to give up any foods that I enjoyed. I was not willing to force myself to exercise (at the time; I later wanted to do it). I was not willing to eat differently than my family (i.e. "special" foods for me while they ate "regular" foods).

And what a shocker--it actually worked!




I didn't have to do or eat anything I didn't want to, and I didn't have to give up things that I love. I only made changes that I was willing to do for the rest of my life, if need be.

It's such a hard thing to do when there is advice everywhere online--what to eat and what not to eat, what's the "best" diet for weight loss, what's the "healthiest" way to eat, etc. I try not to let that get in my head. The only thing I've ever been able to stick with long term (10 years now) is doing what is feels best for ME.

And I like ice cream. A LOT.


The things that I'm willing or not willing to do may change here and there, but that doesn't matter. As long as I stay true to my golden rule, I can enjoy my lifestyle.

It's so hard to believe it's been over 10 years since I had that epiphany. But I know that if I hadn't, I would have failed at that attempt at losing weight just as surely as I had all the other times. I found a better way. And it worked.



March 01, 2020

Just a quick (satisfying!) ASMR video


I am SO SORE today from my fall yesterday. I can't walk without limping, and there is a clicking noise from my knee whenever I bend it. Everything hurts. Falling so hard at this age... well, it's not fun!

I really want to go to bed, so I'm just going to share this video I took while scraping Nathan's ceiling (this was before the fall). When I posted a similar video on Instagram, lots of people commented on it being ASMR. I had no idea what that meant, so I looked it up.

ASMR stands for "autonomous sensory meridian response". That didn't mean anything to me either. In a nutshell, it's basically a video or sound that creates a feeling of relaxation. (This website details it better)

Scraping the ceiling isn't fun, but I learned that if I let the water soak in for about 20 minutes, it'll come off much easier (as you'll see in the video). This video makes it look like it's SO easy to scrape! It's usually not as easy as this looks, but this area--for some reason--came off as sooth as butter.

I guess I can see why this creates ASMR for people--if only the ceiling would scrape off this easily all over!


Enjoy! Haha ;)


February 29, 2020

Boom! Hit by a Truck.


Ugh.

That's how I feel right now. Like I was hit by a truck.

My brother, Nathan, is in Chicago with his girlfriend Alex; my sister, Jeanie; and Jeanie's husband, Shawn, at a "roaring 20's" themed murder mystery dinner. I'm so jealous! I have wanted to attend a murder mystery dinner ever since I first heard of them. And a "roaring 20's" theme is so cool.

Anyway, while Nathan is gone, I decided to go to his house and work on his popcorn ceilings some more. I'd started on them a couple of weeks ago--spraying water on them and scraping off the popcorn texture--and today I finished the living room.

I started with the hallway (twice as long as mine). Once I got the hallway done, I did half of the living room. I didn't want to leave it halfway done, so I went there again today to get it finished before he comes home tomorrow.


Nathan has a black lab, Bailey, so I like to take Joey with me to play with Bailey while I work. Unfortunately for Joey, Bailey is too old and stubborn to want to play with him. She just barks at him when he takes her bone.

Anyway, today I went to Nathan's to finish scraping the texture off the ceiling. I brought Joey with me and he was thrilled. The poor dog gets crazy excited when I even mention the name "Bailey".

I went to Nathan's, changed into my "painting" clothes (clothes that I can get super messy) and started working on the living room. I taped plastic sheets to the floor (Nathan just got new carpet, so I have to be meticulous when removing this texture).

And then it happened. It was awful.

I was taping plastic around the fireplace, because trying to clean drywall compound from bricks and mortar would take forever. So, I moved my ladder as close as I could to the fireplace, and then I hung a sheet of plastic from the ceiling. As I was taping it, I braced myself against the mantle. (In the photo below, the mantle is sitting on the bottom of the fireplace. You'll understand why when you keep reading.)


When I got to the far right of the mantle, I was reaching ahead (to the right) to press the tape to the wall. In slow motion... the mantle fell out from under me, flipping up into the air, catching me by surprise. In the craziness of that, I must have shifted my weight on the ladder, because the ladder (that I was standing on!) tipped out from under me. (Apparently, the mantle wasn't screwed in very well to the bricks.)

In less than the blink of an eye, I was falling to the ground. I hit the bricks on the fireplace without really realizing it, and I remember vividly landing on my ankle, which rolled underneath me. After falling on my ass and thanking God I was still alive (I was so sure I was going to die), I started assessing my injuries.

My ankle? I was pretty sure it wasn't broken, even though that felt like the worst injury. My elbow was killing me (both the joint and the skin, because somehow, I had broken a brick from the fireplace with my elbow!) and my butt hurt from hitting the bricks as well. I even had a hole in my pants on my right butt cheek where I'd hit the bricks!). Overall, my neck, left shoulder, left elbow, and left ankle were really bothering me after the fall.

My elbow is going to have a big old bruise tomorrow.


I was really shaken up after the fall--when it was happening, I was so sure that I was going to die--I'm too old to fall that hard!--and I sat down for a few minutes to just breathe.

Once I realized that I didn't need to go to the hospital for any reason, I got back to work. I hung the plastic and started scraping off the popcorn ceiling.

I worked on it from 10:30-4:30 today, and finally finished scraping off all the texture. Next up is sanding it all smooth and then painting.  I think it's looking better already!

I'm super bummed about my fall today, though. My ankle is in pretty bad shape. I can't walk without a limp; and any movement I make, I feel pain somewhere. I'm super grateful that I haven't started my actual half-marathon training yet--right now it's just walking--but I'm sure I'm going to have to take time off from it until my ankle heals. From what I've read, it'll take 3-6 weeks!

Every single time I work on a house project, I wind up injured in some way. This time was definitely the scariest. It happened so fast, but it felt like slow motion.

For an ankle sprain, it's suggested to focus on R.I.C.E. (Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation). I don't know how well I'll be able to follow that, but I'm going to try! I want to feel completely healed so that I can start training for the Detroit Half.

I feel awful today, so I can't even imagine how I'll feel tomorrow! Hopefully it heals fast...

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