One month MAF update

Now that I'm finally settled in to doing this vegan challenge, I can concentrate more on running and the MAF experiment. I had initially said that I was going to do 12 weeks at ONLY my MAF (maximum aerobic function) heart rate--no speed work at all, just the easy running--and follow my base building plan. Well, I've done the MAF heart rate part, but I haven't been running nearly as much as I should be to experiment with MAF training.

I had friends here for five days a couple of weeks ago, and then I was pretty sick, so I didn't run much the last few weeks. I'm feeling better now, so I'm going to try and run 4-5 times per week (at my MAF heart rate). Here is my running calendar from November:

The green shows the days that I went for a run. It was probably the least running I've done in six years, aside from when I was injured!

I ran five miles yesterday, and my pace was super slow, even for MAF training. My heart rate was constantly getting over 146, but I felt like I was running as slow as I could. In the end, my average heart rate ended up being 147--and it's never supposed to get over 146 for MAF training. I also had a couple of 12:00+ miles in there.

I was feeling energetic this morning, so I decided to go for a run at the state park. Joey was giving me "the look", which I'm a sucker for, and I ended up bringing him with me. He loves running with me! I just hoped that I'd be able to keep my heart rate down while wrangling an excited dog through the park.

Despite all of my training attempts, Joey still pulls on the leash during walks/runs. I didn't put his anti-pull harness on today, because the last time he wore it, it chafed his chest a little bit. I almost gave up and went home during the first mile, but I just hoped he'd settle down once we got into a good rhythm. Still, my heart rate and pace were up and down like crazy. I tried to just focus on my heart rate and keep it under 146.

I tried to get Joey to look at the camera, but he was way too
interested in the geese nearby.

A few miles in, I was about to pass a couple who was walking the same direction that I was running, so I said "Good morning!" as I passed by. A second later, I heard, "Katie?" So I turned around, and was surprised to see Christi, an old co-worker of mine that I hadn't seen in about 11 years! We used to work at Curves together, and I left when I was pregnant with Eli.

It was funny, because I was literally just talking about her to Jerry a couple of days ago. I slowed to a walk and walked along with her and her husband for about half a mile to see how she's been and what she's been up to. Facebook wasn't even really a thing until after I quit working at Curves, so I didn't keep in touch with the women I worked with. Anyway, it was great to run into her, and we mentioned getting together for lunch or something soon.

Shortly after I started running again, there was a man running toward me. I grabbed Joey's leash to keep him close to me, and as the man passed by, he said, "It's great to see you out running again!" The whole interaction was very quick, and I was distracted by Joey, so I didn't get a good look at him and I have no idea who it was. But hearing what he said to me made me kind of miss running as much as I used to. If the man was who I think it may have been, he was probably referring to when I was injured with the stress fracture in 2015. I used to walk Joey at the park pretty often when I was injured (instead of my usual running). A few people asked me why I wasn't running, so I explained to them that I was injured. I think that's what he meant by it being good to see me out running again.

I was kind of surprised to realize that someone actually noticed. People notice when I run and when I don't. I never really thought of that! But I get used to seeing the same people running (either at the park or near my house) so if they suddenly disappeared and I didn't see them for a long time, I would wonder what happened.

Actually, there is a man that runs circles around my neighborhood in the afternoons, and he started doing it a couple of years ago. He would go past my house every day, so I got used to seeing him. I watched as he got thinner, and I was in awe that he never seemed to miss a day of running. Then one day, I saw him run/walking. And then another day he stopped to stretch his knee. And after that, he was wearing knee supports on his runs.

I didn't realize it until I was typing this post just now, but I haven't seen him in a long time. It was probably during the summer that I last saw him, and he was wearing the knee supports. Like me, he probably has no idea that someone notices that he runs!

Anyway, I have no idea where I was going with that. When I realized someone noticed, I just found it motivating to want to continue running. Today, I had only planned to do the five-mile loop; but since I walked half a mile with Christi (and I'd turned off my Garmin for that part), I decided to run the small loop (1.5 miles) after the five-mile loop, to total roughly six miles of running when I was done. And honestly, if I didn't have Joey with me, I probably would have run 8-10 miles--that's how good I was feeling!

My average heart rate ended up being right on the MAF target of 146 bpm, and my pace was faster than yesterday (although not by much). I was hoping that there would be a nice progression (or even regression) in my pace over time, but it has been SO inconsistent.

I don't even want to attempt to make any conclusions yet, because I clearly haven't been running the mileage I would need in order to see progress. For December, I'm going to try and get in 60+ miles, and hopefully that will help the MAF numbers be more consistent for a better analysis.

I know several of you were looking forward to seeing how this MAF experiment goes; so, I'm sorry that I'm off to a bad start, but hopefully this month will be better!

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Settling in

We're heading to an ugly Christmas sweater party in a little while, so I'm going to try and squeeze in a quick post...

Things are going much more smoothly with the vegan challenge now that I bought some food from Trader Joe's. I'm actually kind of enjoying it! I tried one of the veggie burgers from Trader Joe's yesterday, and I was VERY skeptical that I would like it. The frozen patty was green from the veggies that are in it, and it just looked gross. But, I'd already bought them, so I figured I might as well give them a try.

Instead of eating the patty on a bun, I decided to chop it up and eat it with rice. I was truly shocked when I tasted the veggie burger, because it was amazing! The flavor reminds me of an egg roll. The patties are only 120 calories, too--I'm going to have to stock up on these the next time I go to Trader Joe's.

I liked it so much that I ate it again today. I will continue to eat these after the vegan challenge is over--they're that good!

I really don't miss meat at all. I do miss dairy, but it's getting easier each day. I've even been having a nightly dessert--Oreos :) Next week, I'll probably start getting a little more adventurous in cooking or baking, but this week was all about getting used to eating vegan.

I've been logging my food, and I was surprised just how much fiber I've been getting every day--probably double what I usually get! My protein has stayed about the same as usual. My carbs are higher, and fat is lower, though. It's been interesting to see the changes in nutrition.

The hardest part has actually had nothing to do with the vegan challenge, but the little deal I made with Bonnie--no alcohol until 2017. I didn't think I'd miss it, but I do! I'd gotten used to having wine almost every night. I actually feel a lot better, though. It's been almost two weeks, and I've been sleeping better and my skin looks better. (I wasn't drinking a ton before, but even one glass of wine affects my sleep and how I feel the next day.) Anyway, I miss my wine, but I think it's good for me to go without for a little while.

Today, Jerry and I went Christmas shopping while the kids were in school. We drove down to Toledo to the mall. Normally, we don't like doing mall shopping, but I happened to have a coupon for free panties at Victoria's Secret, so I wanted to get those. I got a tea from Teavana, and then Jerry and I saw the massage chairs in the middle of the mall. It was $1 for 3 minutes, so I decided to try it. Ahhhh, it was amazing! I want one of those chairs for my house.

I could have sat there all day, but we had to finish our shopping so we could get home for the kids. We got most of our shopping done, so that feels good :)

Now, I've got to go put on an ugly Christmas sweater for the party. Have a great weekend, everyone!

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Trader Joe's haul

Well, I'm still physically sick with a cold, but I feel a lot better about the vegan challenge, so I'm in a more positive place mentally (and not as crabby!).

Jerry was off work yesterday, and after we took the kids to school, we decided to go to Trader Joe's. I really wanted to get some of their black bean and corn enchiladas. I bought some the last time I went, and loved them! They also happen to be vegan. I had been feeling so frustrated about not having anything quick and easy to eat, so I just wanted to get some convenience items. I know that prepared foods aren't exactly the healthiest choices, but if I'm going to stick to this challenge through the end of December, I need the convenient option once in a while.

Here are the vegan items I picked up at Trader Joe's:

Last year for Christmas, I made an amazing apple cinnamon roll bake for breakfast, and it uses canned cinnamon rolls. I was thrilled to see that I can try making a vegan version of it this year, because Trader Joe's has vegan cinnamon rolls. The other stuff is just to give me some options throughout the month when I need something easy and convenient, so that I don't get frustrated with the whole challenge.

After Trader Joe's, we went to REI. Neither of us had ever been to one before, but I knew it was some sort of sporting good store, so I was curious to check it out. Holy cow, it is such a great store!! There are SO many things for hikers and outdoor enthusiasts, which made me wish I was a hiker. But there were also things for runners that I'd never seen in a store before (like a Camelbak--I'd only ever seen those online). I didn't buy anything, but my mental wish list is about a mile long now ;)

As I said on my last post, I headed out for a run when I finished writing it. It didn't go very well! My cold made it feel hard to breathe, and my energy was still zapped, so I ended up just running a lone mile that day. Yesterday, I rested. Today, I'm still feeling sick, but my energy is coming back.

Since I've been resting so much lately, I decided to try running again today. I couldn't believe how nice the weather was!

For being the end of November, I'm shocked that it's been so warm here. I took it very easy on the run (keeping my heart rate under 146 bpm) and my pace was extra slow today, but I was able to do three miles and I felt like I probably could do three more. It felt really good to get some exercise!

I haven't been doing a very good job with the whole MAF experiment. All of my running has been at my MAF heart rate, but I know I'm not doing enough mileage to make a difference. I'm going to try and pick it up now that my energy is getting back to normal.

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My friend Dean (a blog reader and Ragnar SoCal teammate) is an ambassador for the Glass City Marathon/Half Marathon/Relay, and he's giving away two free entries to the races. Dean is running the full marathon, and I'm running the relay. It's an awesome race! Anyway, here is the link to Dean's giveaway post if you want to enter to win one of the entries.

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Finally, I got an email from a blog reader named Lisa a couple of days ago that totally made my day! I asked her permission to share it. She wrote:

"Hi Katie - I just wanted to say thanks so much for sharing information about Dogs on Deployment. Thanks to you, I am now taking care of a sweet dog for a naval reserve soldier who is in training and will deploy in February, returning in September.  I cannot imagine how stressful training and deployment is on its own, let alone the worry of leaving family, children and pets behind, so it is my pleasure to be able to take one thing off the list of concerns for someone serving our country."

Things like this make me so happy to learn about the good people in the world :)

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First few days of the vegan challenge

Today marks day three of the vegan challenge. Let's just say it's not going how I'd wished! ;)

If you missed it, I decided to try challenging myself to eat vegan from November 25th through December 31st. (In addition to not eating any animal products, I also chose to give up alcohol--that was an impulsive decision I'm kind of regretting, haha, but still sticking to it).

I'm hoping after a few more days, I'll find it easier to do; but right now, I'm basically just struggling through it in frustration.

In theory, it sounded great--I was looking though vegan recipes, thinking about all the things I could try, and looking forward to it. I'm not even a big meat eater, so I thought that it would be a fairly easy challenge for me. It's the dairy/eggs/honey that are making it difficult, though.

In reality, this challenge requires a TON of planning and preparation. I'm infamous for buying vegetables only to find them rotten in the fridge later because I forgot to use them or I changed my mind about what to cook. So, I like to buy just what I'm going to use that day or the next day. Basically, what I should be doing, is planning out each morning what I'm going to eat for the day, and then stick to that plan. Go buy the ingredients just for the day, and repeat.

Also, I've been sick with a cold (I'm pissed--I JUST got over a cold about a month ago, and now I'm sick again! Usually, I go years between colds). This cold has knocked me on my ass. I've had absolutely NO energy (not because of what I'm eating--I've actually been eating much healthier than normal--but because of the cold itself).

It's actually hard to tell what things are happening because of my cold versus what are happening because of the vegan challenge. For example, my appetite has been very low, and I hardly ever feel hunger. Not sure yet if it's the cold or the challenge causing that. Hopefully it's the challenge! Once this cold goes away, I'll figure it out.

This cold has been making me super crabby, so it's hard to see the positive right now. But I will, as soon as I'm better. Let's hope so, anyway! ;) Tomorrow, the kids go back to school after their Thanksgiving break, so I'm going to hopefully get into a nice routine with this challenge. I can stop at the store after I drop them off to school in the mornings and pick up ingredients for dinner. I started a Pinterest board with recipes that I think will be pretty easy without having to buy a bunch of unusual ingredients.

On Friday, the first day of the challenge, Nathan (my younger brother) invited us out to dinner at Anson's, our favorite pizza place. One of his friends that he was stationed with while in the Army (Nick) was visiting, along with his family, and Nathan wanted everyone to get together for dinner. I didn't want to skip dinner with the family just because of the challenge, so I decided to go with them and order a veggie pizza with no cheese.

It actually wasn't too bad! I would have liked to eat the Reuben pizza (my favorite), of course, but the veggie one was good.

Earlier that day, Nathan wanted to show Nick and his family around Detroit. I'm more familiar with Detroit than Nathan is, so he asked if I'd go with them. Since they were bringing their kids (two boys who are about the same age as Noah and Eli), I took my kids and we all headed up there for the afternoon. We took the People Mover to Joe Louis Arena, and then walked the Riverwalk, crossed to Campus Martius to check out the Christmas tree, and then walked back to the casino, where we'd parked.

Noah and Eli

It was a fun afternoon! I always like going to Detroit.

Yesterday and today, I have done absolutely nothing. I've been resting because I have no energy and I'm hoping this cold will just pack up and go away. Jerry's sick, too, but thankfully the kids aren't! I watched the new Gilmore Girls four-part series yesterday, and I was left wanting SO much more. I'm sad that it's over. I wish I'd turned it off just two minutes before it actually ended, though. I won't spoil it, but if you watched it, then you may feel the same way.

I do have a little more energy today, so after I finish this post, I'm going to head out for a run. If it feels awful, I won't stay out long; but I feel SO lazy after not doing anything all day yesterday or today, and I think a run will make me feel better. Since I'm going MAF training, it'll be an easy run anyway.

Hope everyone had a great holiday weekend!

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A cozy Thanksgiving

Today felt like such a nice, cozy day for Thanksgiving. The weather was perfect for fall--about 40 degrees and overcast. I got up early, at around 5:00, and went out in the living room to curl under my blanket and play solitaire on my iPad.

Recently, Jerry and I were looking for a new entertainment center (the one we had wasn't even an entertainment center--just cheap shelves). I looked at thrift stores for a long time, but just couldn't find what I had in mind. I would have loved to get one of the entertainment centers with an LED fireplace, but they were expensive, so I hadn't even been considering them.

When I mentioned it to my mom, she offered to give Jerry and me Christmas gift money early so that we could use it toward one of the fireplace entertainment centers. With her gift, we decided to go ahead and get one.

We bought one at Lowe's, and I LOVE it! I've always liked the light given off by a fire; the LED one obviously don't look as good as a real fire, but it's much more convenient, and it actually does look pretty good (in my opinion).

Anyway, this morning was spent cuddled on the couch in the light of the fireplace, playing solitaire, in a silent house (everyone was still asleep). It makes me feel so excited for the colder weather!

My mom asked me to make a pecan pie to take to her house for dessert, so I baked that this morning. Then I decided to head out for a run with Joey.

I wasn't sure how well I'd be able to stick to my low heart rate training while running with Joey, but I really wanted him to come with me. I decided I would just run at a slow pace, even if he pulled hard to get me to move faster. I love the hands-free leash, because it makes it easier to keep my heart rate down (when I had to hold the leash, my heart rate spiked all the time from pulling Joey in all sorts of directions).

We just did a short three-mile route, and it was pretty uneventful. Joey was trying to get me to move faster, but I was stubborn and just held him back to keep my heart rate down. The run felt really easy today, for some reason, and when I was done, I realized why: my pace was in the 12:00's!

I've been sticking with my plan to keep my heart rate at my MAF training zone (under 146 bpm). I think I just might not be running enough mileage to make a difference, though. My pace has been SO inconsistent since I started this training! I had been planning to plot out all of my runs into a line graph, but the inconsistency will make it difficult to see any progress. Instead, I think I'll run the same route once a week (not with Joey!) and compare that run each week. It'll be easier if I'm just comparing one run per week instead of all the runs together, if that makes sense. I'll get in one more week of training, and then write an update on how it's going so far.

I'm actually really looking forward to starting my vegan challenge tomorrow! This morning, I went through my recipes blog to see what meals I have that are already vegan--and there were actually quite a few! (Here is where you can see the recipes)

Lentil and Black Bean Chili
Guacamole
Chick Pea Curry
Taco Soup (omit the chicken)
Cookie Dough Hummus
Crispy Potato Halves
Vegetarian Fajitas
General Tso's Cauliflower (my chicken recipe, just with cauliflower instead of chicken)
Green Monster Smoothie
Granola
Hot Cinnamon Apples
Indian Lentil Soup
Hummus
Lemon Lentil Soup
Mexican Lentils & Rice
Quick Bean Soup
Quinoa Salad with Spicy Peanut Dressing
Roasted Tomato & Garlic Soup with Barley
Spicy Peanut Noodle Bowls
Beans and Rice
Sweet Potato Wheels
Vegetarian Fried Rice
Pizza Crust
Whole Wheat Tortillas

These are all the recipes on my recipes blog that are already vegan. Bonnie sent me a ton of recipes yesterday as well. It's actually kind of overwhelming! I need to sit down and make a meal plan so I don't get frustrated.

Anyway, we are heading to my parents' house now. Happy Thanksgiving!


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RECIPE: Homemade Taco Seasoning

Ever since I discovered how easy it is to make my own taco seasoning, I no longer buy stuff in packets. This is a bulk recipe that is enough for four pounds of meat--I make it up and use 2 Tbsp per pound of meat when needed. It's nice to have it pre-made in the pantry instead of having to make it each time I cook!

Here is a printer-friendly PDF version!


Taco Seasoning

1/4 cup chili powder
2 Tbsp. ground cumin
2 tsp. salt
2 tsp. black pepper
2 tsp. paprika
1 tsp. onion powder
1 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. dried oregano
1 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes

Mix all ingredients together in a Mason jar or other air tight container. This makes enough for four pounds of meat--use about 2 Tbsp per pound. There is no thickener in this (corn starch or flour), so you don't need to add water to it with the meat. This is just the seasoning for the meat itself.

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RECIPE: Spicy Taco Gnocchi

This has become one of my very favorite recipes! I thought the gnocchi sounded so odd with taco seasoning, but I'm glad I tried it. This is a modified version of a recipe by Emily Bites. The portion size on this looks tiny (a scant cup!) but it is surprisingly very filling. I'm always satisfied after eating it. I have also made this with pasta instead of the gnocchi, and it tastes just as good. Just cook the pasta separately, and add it to the rest of the dish afterward.

Spicy Taco Gnocchi Skillet

One recipe of taco seasoning:

1 Tbsp. chili powder
1-1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1/4 teaspoon onion powder
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes

1 Tbsp. butter
1 package (16 oz) of gnocchi
1 pound of lean ground turkey (93/7)
1 onion, diced
2 garlic cloves, minced
10 oz can of Rotel tomatoes (or salsa)
1 cup beef broth
1 cup frozen corn
1/4 cup sour cream
4 oz. cheddar cheese

Prepare taco seasoning by mixing all ingredients in a small dish. Set aside.

Heat skillet over medium high heat and melt butter in skillet. Add the gnocchi, and cook for a couple of minutes until gnocchi starts to brown a little. Set gnocchi aside in a bowl.

Add the onions to the skillet, and cook for a couple of minutes until they soften. Add the ground turkey to the skillet, and break it up as it browns. Add the seasoning mix, salsa, broth, and corn, as well as the reserved gnocchi. Bring just to a boil, and then reduce the heat. Cover with a lid and let it simmer for a few minutes.

Add the sour cream and cheese, and stir. Portion into six bowls (about 1 cup each).

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RECIPE: Black Bean and Lentil Chili

This is an old Weight Watchers recipe and my whole family actually really loved it! It has a ton of fiber and is perfect for a chilly day. We topped it with cheese and sour cream.

Here is a printer-friendly version!

Lentil & Black Bean Chili

1-1/2 cups dry lentils (preferably French variety, but regular green lentils will work too)
1 Tbsp. olive oil
1 onion, chopped
1 red bell pepper, chopped
2 Tbsp. minced garlic
3 Tbsp. chili powder
2 tsp. dried oregano
1-1/2 tsp. cumin
1/4 tsp. ground cayenne
1/2 tsp. salt
29 oz. can of diced tomatoes (fire roasted with chiles)
2 cans of black beans, drained and rinsed

Cook lentils by placing in a pot and cover with water (a couple of inches above the level of the lentils). Bring to a boil, then reduce heat at simmer until lentils are tender, but not too soft (about 12 minutes).

While lentils are cooking, heat a skillet over medium heat and add the oil. Cook the onions, bell pepper, and garlic in the oil until vegetables are soft, about 10 minutes. Add the rest of the ingredients, stir, and cover the skillet. Let simmer 5-10 minutes, and then add the lentils. Stir and divide into 6 portions to serve.

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A holiday challenge

I've been thinking about this and thinking about this, having been totally unsure if I wanted to move forward with it. I know that if I make it public, then I'll be committed to finishing it, which is probably why I haven't mentioned it. I just wanted to be 100% sure I want to do it.

I used to do monthly challenges for myself, and somewhere along the way, I got out of the habit of doing them. Right now, I haven't really been focused on anything. Last year, I was hardcore into getting down to my racing weight and then training for my 10K; this year, I'm loosely counting calories, trying to lose the summer weight, but not really putting much effort into it.

And to be honest, I like it this way. I look "normal" at this size, and I don't have to watch very closely what or how much I'm eating. I haven't gained anything this fall. Maybe I'll feel like working harder at it again in a few months, but right now, I am pretty content, even with the extra pounds.

Anyways, back to the challenge. I've always liked challenges that are from 2-6 weeks long. Any longer, and I tend to lose interest before it's over. When my friends were here over the weekend, Bonnie and I each agreed to give up a vice of ours for the rest of the year. She chose bread, and I chose alcohol. This challenge wasn't too difficult to agree to. I like alcohol, of course, but I will survive month without it ;)

The REAL challenge is something I'd been thinking about trying for a long time: eating vegan for a month!

As I mentioned, Bonnie is vegan; she shared a lot of her favorite foods and meal ideas with us, and they sounded really good. I have no interest in becoming vegan permanently, but to try it for a month will be kind of fun (and definitely challenging)!

The hardest part for me is not giving up meat, but giving up dairy! I love cream--ice cream and cream-based sauces. Also, even though I'm not a huge cheese person (I don't just sit down and each cheese by itself), I do like pizza, macaroni and cheese, and scrambled eggs with cheese, etc.

Instead of focusing on the things that vegans don't eat, I'm going to try to just think about all the foods that vegans do eat. When I was at Bonnie's house on Labor Day weekend, she made a mock-tuna salad that I was very skeptical would taste good. I do love to taste new things, though, so I was open minded and gave it a try. I was shocked at how good it was! Chick peas take the place of the tuna, and she used some kelp powder (I think that's what she said it was) that gives it a mild tuna taste. I would eat that whether I was vegan or not--it was that good!

I've had this vegan cookbook called Thug Kitchen in my pantry for a while, and I've never used it, so I'm going to dust it off and try some recipes. I've heard really great things about this cookbook.

Since I'm going to be trying lots of new things, it'll also give me something fun to blog about. I thought the idea of doing the challenge between Thanksgiving and the New Year sounded better than just for December; so, it'll be a little over a month, but the plan is to do it from November 25th-December 31st (36 days). I don't have any plans going on for the rest of the year (other than a couple of family things) so now is the perfect time to try this challenge.

I'm not really sure what I'm hoping to get out of doing this. I like doing challenges because it gives me a focus and something to work toward. Also, it tests my discipline; and it feels good to complete something difficult. In the end, I hope that I will enjoy vegetables more, and maybe branch out my meal rotation a bit. It'll be a fun experiment, if nothing else.

Well, I hope that everyone has a nice Thanksgiving! My mom is cooking dinner, so we are going to her house. My brothers are going to be there, too. Should be fun! :)

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The Scariest Moment of My Life (Hint: It's not your average fear)

This is going to be a rather odd intro, but I promise I'm going somewhere with this little story...

When I was in the hospital after my jaw surgeries, I was moved to a private room where I finally got some sleep. Jerry was there next to the bed, watching TV, and I fell into a deep sleep. About an hour later, I woke up, and I knew NOTHING about what was going on. I didn't know where I was, why I was there, who Jerry was, or even who I was.

It was the scariest moment of my life, and that is not an exaggeration. I have many fears, but the fear of losing my memory again is at the top of the list. The memory loss only lasted about 30 seconds, but it was terrifying enough to have a lasting effect on me. It made me think about my grandmother (my mom's mom, who we called Gobby).

Gobby developed Alzheimer's disease when I was a teenager, and at the time, I didn't know much (if anything) about it. All I knew was that it caused her to call me "Sue" (my mom's name) and that she used to ask when "D" (her husband, who we referred to as Pippi) was coming home (he'd passed away decades earlier).

Here is a photo of my grandmother and me on my 14th birthday...

Telling a woman that the love of her life is dead is sad enough; but to have to do it over and over again is heartbreaking. Eventually, my mom and her siblings stopped telling Gobby that Pippi had died, and they just said he’d be home "soon". My grandma didn't know any better, and she would soon forget their responses anyway.

Until I had that brief amnesia in the hospital, it never occurred to me that Gobby must have been scared like that sometimes when she was very confused. As a teenager, I used to get kind of annoyed that she always asked the same questions over and over; now, I feel terrible for not being more sympathetic. She was scared, and she wanted to know what was going on.

Gobby lived with the disease for several years. Pippi had died when Gobby was just 55, but he had a good life insurance policy to take care of Gobby for the rest of her life, so money was not a problem.

My mom and her dad (who we call Pippi) shortly before he died:

It was because of his careful planning that Gobby was able to spend the last years of her life at home, rather than placed in a nursing home. My mom and her siblings made a schedule to have one of them with her around the clock. I didn't think about it when I was an immature teenager, but being a caretaker is challenging and time consuming. I give my aunts and uncles a lot of credit for what they did. Gobby lived into her 80’s before passing away peacefully in her own bed, with her children next to her.

Ever since that scary moment in the hospital when I forgot everything, I have lived with a fear that has settled down in my gut--a fear that I will get Alzheimer's one day as well. Alzheimer's disease has a genetic component to it, and there is even a test that I could take that will tell me if I have the gene marker. I haven't decided whether I will get the test yet, but it's something to think about.

There is also a good chance that my mom could get the disease, and I will end up being her caretaker.
Last year, when I wrote a blog post for Prudential about planning for the unexpected, Jerry and I finally got around to writing a living will, which sparked some discussions about health and finances.

Since we're in our mid-30's, it's so easy to think that we'll just be healthy forever; but we realized that we actually have to hope for the best, but plan for the worst. If I should get Alzheimer's, I really don't want to be a burden on Jerry. I've seen firsthand what a toll it can take on loved ones, and I want to do anything that I can to ease that burden.

I think planning for the future just takes the same sort of time and thought. For example, I know that the more Jerry and I earn, the more we spend; and the less we earn, the less we spend. We adapt to what we’re given. So, in planning for a long-term illness, we just need to be prepared to adapt for it.

Of course, we're still going to hope for the best (that we'll live healthy lives into our 90's); but it never hurts to be prepared if life doesn't go as planned.  Have any of you experienced Alzheimer's (or other chronic illness) first hand with a loved one? It remains my biggest fear.

(This post was sponsored by Prudential, but as always, all thoughts and words are my own)

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