One year later

Yesterday, I gave Eli a few breathing treatments with a nebulizer, and he was SO much better by yesterday evening. I didn't hear a single cough through the night, and he seemed great when he woke up this morning, so he went to school today. I'm so relieved! Usually, when he gets sick, it lasts a long time.

It was ridiculously cold outside today. I decided to run on the treadmill, not because of the cold, but because I wanted to be home in case I got a call from the school about Eli, and had to leave right away. I got on the treadmill and turned on a thriller/horror movie on Netflix called Amber Alert, and somehow got sucked into it. It was corny, but it kept me interested. I felt kind of tired while I ran today.

I used my foot pod, so that I would have an accurate pace. 

I had another good day on Simply Filling. For lunch, I planned to have a salad with turkey and feta, and a bowl of tomato and roasted red pepper soup. Once I got my salad prepared, I noticed that the soup wasn't considered a "Power Food", because it was a bisque. So all I ate was the salad, and I knew I'd be starving within an hour. 

Jerry and I did a little more Christmas shopping, so I got a decaf latte from Panera to hold me over. But I was SO hungry by the time we got home at 2:30. I should have made a sandwich or something to go with the salad. When I got home, I had cottage cheese with peaches, which was really good!

Anyway, here is my food log for today:

I swear these pictures aren't blurry until I put them in the collage! So weird.

Breakfast: grits with cheese and a poached egg
Lunch: salad with turkey, fat free feta, and dressing
Snack: decaf latte
Snack: cottage cheese with peaches
Dinner: "Texas Trail Beef Macaroni" (only I used lean ground turkey instead of beef)
Snack: popcorn and wine

Everything was Simply Filling except for the wine, which was 4 PP. I'll probably end up having an orange or apple tonight, too.

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Every time we ask the kids what they want for Christmas, they both reply that their number one item is a gerbil. When they first asked, I just blew it off, thinking that they'd soon forget and come up with something else. But they kept asking. I had gerbils while I was growing up, and I have a fondness for them; so Jerry and I decided to go ahead and get them each one for Christmas. 

Today, we bought the all stuff for the gerbils (aquarium, bedding, food, water bottle, etc.). We'll buy the actual gerbils a few days before Christmas, and let them get used to their new habitat before we give them to the kids on Christmas morning. I think Jerry and I are just as excited about the gerbils as the kids are. I think they are so fascinating to watch! We'll just have to be extra cautious, having gerbils in a house with four cats. Estelle already knows something is up...

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A year ago today, I reached my goal weight of 133. Even though I'd gotten down to that weight in late 2010, my goal at that time was 126, so I never "technically" reached goal. I changed my goal weight to 133, and last December, I reached my goal weight for the first time in my life.

Today, I'd been hoping I would write a post about how far I've come over the past year in maintenance. I hoped I'd get it all figured out, and I would be binge-free, and I would be skipping through maintenance with a big ol' smile on my face.

But I'm not there yet. I still have hopes of getting to that point some day, but this past year has been very similar to before... always working on maintenance, having lots of ups and down, struggles and successes. I continue to learn about myself every time I screw up, and I always continue to keep working on figuring out "effortless" maintenance (who knows if that even exists?).

Today, I weighed in nearly 10 pounds over my goal weight, at 142.5. I'd kept my weight pretty steady all year until Halloween, and it's been tough this fall. I was stressing out about facing the number, but instead of giving up, I made a new plan (which was to give the Simply Filling technique a try). I'm afraid of getting "too far gone", when 5 pounds turns to 10 pounds which turns to 50, and before I know it, I'll have gained back all the weight.

So, even though my weight is higher than I'd like it to be a year out from reaching goal, I am still pretty damn proud that I've kept off 110+ pounds for so long. The odds were stacked against me from the moment I started to lose weight, but I was determined to beat them. While I can't write that I've done a terrific job this year in maintenance, I can write that I learned a lot about myself, what works (and doesn't work) for me, and I really do feel this year was a success!

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First day on Simply Filling

Poor Eli. He was still coughing pretty badly when he woke up today, so I decided to keep him home again. My stomach was feeling a lot better today, but I felt slightly congested--although, that could just be because Eli is sick, and now I constantly think I'm feeling symptoms ;)

After Noah went to school, Eli and I watched another Christmas movie. Then I decided to do my run. Wednesdays are intervals, which is my hardest workout of the week. Since I felt crappy on Monday, and ended up skipping 75% of my long run, I was tempted to just do an easy run today. But I knew I was perfectly capable of doing a hard run today, so I just decided to tough it out.

Since Eli was home, I had to use the treadmill. I decided to push myself really hard, and do 6 x 400 at 6:40/mi pace. The last time I did treadmill intervals, I did 8 x 400 at a 7:20/mi pace, so pushing the pace to 6:40/mi was going to be really difficult--why I decided to do just 6 instead of 8.

I ran a mile at a 10:00/mi pace to warm-up, and then hopped off and cranked the treadmill up to 9.0 mph. It always makes me laugh when the speed increases, because it reminds me of an airplane on the runway... kind of scary, knowing I was going to have to hop on the belt and run that fast!

And it was definitely tough. I ran the quarter-mile, then hopped off (leaving the treadmill going). I recovered by just pacing around the living room, while the treadmill continued at 9.0 mph for a quarter mile. Then I hopped back on and did it again. And so on. I didn't jog for recovery, because when the intervals are that short, it takes a while for the treadmill to increase/decrease pace. I didn't want to waste that time, so I just hopped on and off for each interval. Also, that pace was really hard for me, so I needed the extra easy recovery time!

I somehow managed to get through all six intervals. Then I ran a cool down at 6.0 mph for a half-mile, for a grand total of 3 miles run. I was totally spent after that.

After lunch, Eli was coughing again, and then he started throwing up. Poor kid has a pretty weak stomach, and throws up pretty easily. I always feel bad for him when it happens, because he tells me (pathetically): "Mama, do I have to throw up? I hate throwing up!" *vomit* "I don't want to throw up anymore!" *vomit*

I don't think he has a stomach bug; I think that the cough is what made him throw up. But regardless, it's looking like he's going to be home again tomorrow. He seems to be doing quite a bit better this evening, though.

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My first day on Simply Filling went really well! I had planned to go to the store this morning for some fresh produce, but because Eli was home, I wasn't able to. So I had to change up my meal plan a bit, but it worked out fine.

From what I've read, protein powder is not considered a "Power Food" on Weight Watchers, but the WW brand smoothie mix is. I compared my protein powder to the WW smoothie mix ingredients and nutrition facts, and my powder is definitely healthier and comparable in calories, fat, etc. So I'm counting my protein powder as a Power Food.

Today's eats:

Breakfast: Jamochanana shake (yes, I made that word up--java-mocha-banana shake). Milk, vanilla protein powder, cocoa powder, frozen banana, decaf coffee,  and ice, all blended until smooth.
Snack: decaf latte
Lunch: light English muffin with scrambled eggs and cheese, and an orange
Snack: oatmeal with milk and frozen blueberries
Dinner: burrito bowl--brown rice, black beans, chicken, lettuce, ff sour cream, salsa, cheese
Snack: popcorn, wine*

*The wine isn't a Power Food, obviously, so I have to count that against my weekly PointsPlus.

The only time I was really hungry was right before dinner. I had to wait for Jerry to get home from work so that I could run to the store, and by the time I got home, I was starving. Other than that, though, I felt good all day and wasn't craving any junk. I was even pretty stressed out because of Eli being sick, but I didn't really think much about food today.

The only problem that came up was that I have no idea what to eat for snacks! I'm used to eating Clif Bars, or Larabars with peanut butter, or things like that. A lot of people on Simply Filling eat yogurt for a snack, but I hate yogurt. I bought some cottage cheese today, so I can have that with fruit tomorrow. The oatmeal was a good snack today, because I wanted something warm. Anyway, I'm happy with how today went... and I hope tomorrow goes just as well!

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Simply Filling

I kept Eli home from school again today. And I definitely think I'm getting sick as well. Yesterday, I was going to do my eight-mile run on the treadmill, because Eli was home, and I didn't want to leave him home alone (obviously). I was feeling kind of crummy all morning, and was putting off the run. Finally, in the afternoon, I decided to just get it done.

I set the treadmill for my long run pace (about 8:53/mi), and turned on some random show on Netflix (I can't even remember what show now). I couldn't really focus on anything, because I was feeling nauseous. A little over a mile and a half in, I decided that I just couldn't do it. I ran until I hit the two-mile mark, and then shut off the treadmill. I hung out by the kitchen sink for a minute, thinking I may actually throw up, but the worst of it passed.

Eli and I spent pretty much the whole day on the couch watching Christmas movies and doing stuff on the computer. I didn't even want to make dinner, and I asked Jerry to pick up a pizza on his way home. Not a good choice, but I just didn't feel well enough to get up and cook dinner.

Today, it's been pretty much the same. I woke up with my stomach feeling gross. Normally, I don't eat until after the kids leave for school, but I ate right when I got up, hoping that the food would settle my stomach. It didn't. After I took Noah to the bus stop, Eli and I sat down to watch another Christmas movie. My favorite place to sit is on the chaise, but Estelle thinks that's her spot; she lies right in the center of it, so I have nowhere to put my legs. And of course I don't have the heart to push her off.

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I'd been trying to think of a new challenge to try, because I've been frustrated with my diet and weight lately. I've been on track most of the time, but when I don't see progress, I get frustrated and that usually makes me eat. I used to be pretty patient while I was losing weight--I know that these things take time! But lately, I've just been getting impatient and frustrated, which is affecting me mentally (as well as physically). I just feel drained.

Yesterday, my friend Andrea mentioned that she did the Weight Watchers Simply Filling plan for a week, and she loved it. I've always been terrified of their Simply Filling plan (or "Core", as it used to be called), because it relies on some intuitive eating habits--eating when hungry, stopping when satisfied. I've tried intuitive eating many times, and my intuition sucks! ;)

Basically, the Simply Filling plan works like this: you have a list of "Power Foods", which are the basics of a healthy diet (whole grains, lean proteins, fruits, veggies, dairy, etc), and you eat from that list of foods. You don't have to weigh or measure the foods, you just eat until you're satisfied. You are also given 49 weekly PointsPlus, to use on anything you want; so if there is something that's not on the list, you can use your weekly PointsPlus to cover it. You can also still earn Activity PointsPlus and swap those the same as you would the weekly PointsPlus.

I know my diet is not the healthiest (and I feel like it's gotten worse this year), so I've been thinking of giving the Simply Filling plan a try, just for a week or so, to see how I like it. I can certainly stand to make some healthier changes, and I would really like to see if I'm capable of eating well without weighing or measuring food. That will be the true test for me! I have a hard time knowing when to stop.

A lot of the foods I eat are already Power Foods, so I'll just make it a point to eat those more often. There are some foods I eat a lot that aren't on the list--peanut butter!--so I'll just have to use my weekly PP to cover those if I choose to eat them. But the main thing I want to focus on is eating healthier in general. The Simply Filling plan will give me enough leeway to feel a little bit of freedom from all of the counting and measuring, but will also have structure, so I don't turn it into a free-for-all ;)

Weight Watchers is rolling out their 2014 plan now (and thankfully, there aren't any changes to the plan!! I hate when they make big changes, and you have to learn a whole new system). They did add something called Simple Start, though, which is basically an introduction to the Simply Filling plan. So I think now is a good time for me to give Simply Filling a try.

Since tomorrow is the start of a new week, I'll start Simply Filling tomorrow morning. I wrote up a food plan for the week, so I'm not scrounging around trying to figure out what to cook when I'm starving, and I bought some groceries today to get started. I'm excited to see how it goes!

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Motivational Monday #44

Happy Motivational Monday! This week isn't off to the greatest start for me. Yesterday, while Eli and I were out for a walk, he started complaining that his throat was hurting. Last night, he start coughing. And then at around 11:00 pm, he threw up. Needless to say, he's sick.

I kept him home from school today, and I started feeling sick as well. I was going to do my long run (eight miles) on the treadmill, but I only made it through two miles before I really thought I was going to throw up. I've been feeling really lousy all day. I just hope it doesn't last long!

But this week, I am proud of myself for getting in extra activity wherever I could. I took quite a few walks, and did the Wii Fit a few times, on top of my usual runs. It makes me feel a little less lazy while we have this cold spell in Michigan!

Let's see some of your accomplishments this week...

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Over the last three years, Laura has lost 123 pounds, going from 258 to 133! She reached her goal weight, and is now working on maintenance. She started running about a year ago, and ran her first half-marathon in May! (Laura's blog)

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Carmen (on left) ran the Reindeer Romp 5K in Atlanta! It was 40 degrees for the race, which is unusually cold there. She hadn't run in about a year, due to pregnancy, and she was super proud to cross the finish line in 37:51!

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Nearly 10 years ago, Melissa was newly engaged and had just moved to Colorado with her fiancé. He was an avid rock climber, but Melissa was terrified of it. He asked her if she would climb the Third Flatiron with him before they got married, and she agreed... but immediately started having doubts. She put off that promise for NINE years after their wedding! Her husband, again, asked if she would climb with him, and she finally made up her mind to do it--if only to prove to herself that she could. And she did! She climbed up 1,800 feet above the ground, and put that fear behind her. (Melissa's blog post about the rock climb)

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June just finished a semester of ballet in a three days per week, university-level course after losing 52 pounds! This was particularly a big accomplishment for her because she studied ballet as a child and teen. When she went to college, she was turned away for from ballet for being "20 pounds too heavy". She feels very proud to be back in "ballet shape" 38 years later!

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In September, Nicole shared that she had completed her first 10K race, and hoped to do a half-marathon in the future. Well, she is now an official half-marathoner! She injured her ankle during training, and was worried she wouldn't be able to finish, knowing that she would have to walk a lot of it. But she didn't let that stop her, and she finished the course in just under three hours. She was thrilled when she crossed that finish line! It was a race for women only, and she said the girl power was very strong, and the women were so determined to finish. It was a very positive atmosphere! (Nicole's race report)

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On Saturday, Shirlie completed the Jingle Bell Run 5K!  This was her fifth month in a row of completing a 5K race, but she still doubts herself during the race, especially when she sees other runners passing her by. When she was halfway through, she could see people crossing the finish line, and it was discouraging; but she reminded herself that a year ago, she would have been at home, sitting on the couch, and not out running a 5K! She's lost 100 pounds, and didn't become active until she was 51 years old! When she was closing in on the finish line, she looked over to the halfway point, and saw an overweight person walking alone. Shirlie gave a thumbs up and a smile to help encourage the walker. She crossed the finish line with a new PR of 38:57! She's just started training for a half-marathon in April.

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You can check out more motivational stories on the Motivational Monday Facebook post! Make sure you write you own, to help motivate others :)  Remember, MM doesn't have to include finishing races or losing 100 pounds--every little accomplishment should be something to celebrate!

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My evolution as a runner

As soon as I woke up this morning, I started reading my Gone Girl again--I really wanted to finish it! I read as I ate breakfast, and finally finished it in the late morning. I was SO disappointed in the ending. It was well-written, but it wasn't at all what I'd hoped would happen. I won't spoil it, but it was a great book, and I'm glad I read it. Today, I borrowed the book The Innocent by Harlan Coben, which is another book that a reader (or two or three) recommended.

After I finished Gone Girl, I got dressed for my run. It was another very cold one today, a "feels like" temp of 10 degrees, like yesterday. I was only scheduled for three miles at an easy pace, but since I took the trouble to get bundled up for a run, I figured I might as well do four. I feel like I should at least run for 30 minutes.

I ran my usual out-and-back route, and on the way back, I noticed a skinned (dead) animal in the ditch. Not to get too gruesome, but I thought it was a cat, and it was heart-breaking. I couldn't keep running without knowing for sure if someone was actually that cruel, so I stopped and turned to look. Thankfully, it wasn't a cat... but someone had skinned probably five or six possums, and then left the carcasses in the ditch. I have no idea why anyone would do that!

When I'd stopped my Garmin to look in the ditch, I accidentally pressed the lap button, so the distances of my splits are screwed up.

It started snowing around lunchtime, and it collected outside pretty quickly. Not a whole lot, but it was enough to cover the ground lightly. I was feeling snacky, so I decided to take my mind off of food and go for a walk in the snow. Surprisingly, Eli asked to go with me, so of course I said sure!

It was fun to go with just Eli. We walked very slowly, and it probably took us 20 minutes to circle the block one time (0.4 miles), but I loved it. He drew a person in the snow:

And we took a picture of us, all bundled up:

When we got back to the house, Eli went inside with Jerry and Noah to drink some hot chocolate while I kept walking. I grabbed the Kindle to start reading The Innocent while I walked. I only did the short loop of our neighborhood, because my hands were frozen, even with gloves. But it was nice to get in some extra activity.

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After this morning's run, I was thinking about the ways I've evolved as a runner. Today, I stopped to check out what was in the ditch, and when I first started running in 2010, I wouldn't stop for anything! I used to think that it "didn't count" if I stopped at all during my run. Even if I came across a friend or neighbor, I felt like I had to keep running rather than chat for a moment.

Now, I don't even think twice about it; I just pause my Garmin and do whatever I need to do: adjust my clothing, chat with a friend, see what's in the ditch, wait for a stoplight, or whatever else. Then I keep running and restart my Garmin. The world doesn't end ;)

I also used to be very particular about stopping my Garmin as soon as I hit an even number. I couldn't finish a run at 3.03, or 2.97... I would run a little farther, or stop a little sooner to hit that even number. Now, it doesn't bother me at all to go over the number I was aiming for, but I still like to at least hit that number (so if I saw 2.97, I'd just run a little farther to get to 3.00).

I used to get offended by the word "jog" or "jogger". This doesn't bother me at all anymore. I use the word "jog" when I'm talking about running without purpose, or running much slower than I'm used to (like in-between intervals, I'll "jog" a short distance to recover my heart rate). Usually, people who use the word "jog" are people who are non-runners, and they ask me (to be polite), "Did you have a nice jog?" Nothing wrong with that!

There are still some things that I should probably work on, however: I wish I could run without my Garmin, just "for fun", but I am too numbers-dependant; I have a hard time running without a purpose--I always feel like I need to be training for something; and I'm still too hard on myself when I don't hit a goal.

Anyway, I just thought it was interesting to see how much has changed since I first started running in spring 2010!

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Just a reminder, tomorrow is Motivational Monday! If you have a photo of a health/fitness accomplishment that you'd like to share, you can e-mail it to me at SlimKatie (at) runsforcookies (dot) com, subject "Motivational Monday", along with a short description. I may share it on tomorrow's post!

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Chilled to the bone

The "feels like" temp was a very toasty 10 degrees this morning, so I was looking forward to a pleasant run ;)  Haha, honestly, though, I love running in the cold. I did underdress just a bit, though. I wore my Cold Gear tights, a long-sleeved tech shirt, a fleece jacket over it, my new furry ear warmer headband, and gloves.

In retrospect, I wish I'd have worn another layer over my running tights. My legs (and especially my butt--why is it that my butt is always the coldest part of me when I run?!) were cold even when I returned. I had three miles at an easy pace on the schedule, but I ended up doing four. We had plans of going out to dinner tonight, so I figured burning a few extra calories wouldn't hurt.

It definitely felt like 10 degrees out there! I did an out-and-back route, and just when I turned around, the sun came out. The sun really didn't do anything to warm me, but it at least looked warmer. I finished four miles at a pretty steady pace, and felt great!

A hot shower felt really good after that. I got to work cleaning up the house a little, because Noah had invited a friend over. Once his friend got here, the boys were SO loud. Jerry and I tried to have a conversation, but we couldn't even hear each other, so we ended up just sitting on the couch and reading all afternoon. I'm about three-quarters of the way through Gone Girl, and it took me a while to get into it... but once I got to the second half of the book, I was completely blown away by the major plot twist! I'm charging the Kindle right now while I type this, otherwise I'd probably still be reading ;)

Jerry and I took the boys to Red Robin for dinner. Noah was asking earlier this week if we could go out to dinner, and I suggested that instead of "Pizza Fridays", we could take turns choosing a place to go out to eat once a week. The kids really liked that idea, and today was Noah's turn to choose. He chose Red Robin. A burger didn't really sound very good to me, but I looked up their menu online and a bowl of clam chowder sounded awesome--probably because it's so cold outside today, and clam chowder is one of my favorite soups. It was 16 PointsPlus for a bowl of the soup and the garlic bread that came with it, which is more than I usually spend for dinner, but not by much.

I wish I could say it was worth it, but it wasn't at all. I wasn't expecting it to be mind-blowing, because Red Robin isn't exactly known for their clam chowder, but it was lukewarm and just not very tasty. I had planned on ordering fruit salad with it, but I was so cold that it didn't sound very good when we got there. I felt pretty chilled to the bone all day today! Can't wait to get under my electric blanket tonight :)

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Furry headband

The warmer fall-like weather we've been having the past week or so was definitely replaced by winter this morning. It was cold out there today! Once I got the kids ready for school, my dad came over to walk them to the bus stop (he takes them early sometimes, so they can play basketball or street hockey while they wait for the bus).

I made my breakfast, and just as I sat down to eat, I saw that Eli had forgotten his library book. I looked outside just as I saw the bus turn the corner onto the street (the bus stop is on the other side of our block, probably about a tenth of a mile from our house). I had on pajamas, and of course, no bra, but I ran out the door as fast as I could to give him Eli his book before the bus got there. So classy.

After breakfast, I got ready to head out for a run. Today was three miles at half-marathon goal pace (8:15). I really wanted to stay as close to that number as possible, so that I get a good feel for it. Last week, my pace was 8:05 ish, and that defeated the purpose of the goal pace run. Last week, however, there was no wind; today felt a heck of a lot harder!

I did the same out and back route, and almost immediately, I felt like it was a struggle. I had a headwind, which probably didn't help, but my first mile was still a couple of seconds slow. I tried to pick up the pace, and things definitely felt easier once I turned around. I was a quarter mile from home when a chocolate lab ran out into the street, barking like crazy at me. I stopped running (stopped my Garmin too) and started yelling toward the nearest house, hoping the owner would come out and get the dog. Then a car came down the street and honked at the dog, yelling for it to go home (the driver knew whose dog it was). I took that opportunity to run very quickly to get out of there. I noticed my pace was way too fast the rest of the way home, so it made my last mile too fast. Ah, well.

After I finished my run, I stopped my Garmin and then walked a short loop of my neighborhood. Ever since I reactivated my ActiveLink, I've been doing whatever I can to get in a little extra activity. A short walk after my run is a great cool down, and since I'm already dressed for outside (and sweaty), there's no reason not to do it!

I set my ActiveLink goal to earn 5 Activity PointsPlus per day. It's an easy number to reach when I run 4+ miles, but when I have a rest day, or just 3 miles, like today, I have to get in extra activity wherever I can. I'm glad I reactivated the ActiveLink, because it really does motivate me to move more.

My sister asked me what I use to cover my ears in the mildly cold weather, and I suggested a Bondiband. I use them when it's not super cold, but cold enough to cover my ears (when it's really cold, I'll usually wear a fleece headband). She ended up ordering some Bondibands, and then sent one to me--it's SUPER cute!

I had no idea that Bondiband has furry headbands! It was warm, snug against my head, and didn't slip off or anything. Very cozy! I think I'm going to order another one in pink.

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Yesterday, I was finally able to cook a turkey that Jerry's employer gave us. They give out a frozen turkey to each employee a couple of days before Thanksgiving each year. I've had it in the fridge, thawing, and even when I finally decided to cook it yesterday, there was ice in the cavity of it. But it took up so much room in my fridge that I was happy to get it out of there and finally cook it.

I put it in the oven in the afternoon, and then made a turkey pot pie with some of the meat for dinner last night. Today, Jerry requested turkey and gravy sandwiches (with a "moist maker", of course!). I wasn't in the mood for a sandwich, so I actually made a salad (I am not a salad person at all, but sometimes I get a craving for one). We still have a ton of meat left over, so I think I'll make turkey and noodles (like my chicken and noodles), and then maybe soup or tetrazzini. It's kind of fun to come up with different ways to use up a whole turkey!

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Off to pop some popcorn and watch Old Yeller with my boys! Haven't seen that movie since I was probably Noah's age :)

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Being photographed

This morning, I had four miles at an easy pace on the schedule. It's been super nice outside lately, so I  was looking forward to it, but it was really windy. I ran four-mile route that goes around a couple of neighborhoods, and a couple of miles in, I passed by an older man that I see fairly often when I run the neighborhoods. He's probably in his 70's, he walks a lot, and walks pretty far from what I've seen.

I haven't been running the neighborhoods lately, so I haven't seen him since just before the Chicago Marathon. He carries a baseball bat with him while he walks (for protection, I assumed). As I came up behind him today, I called out, "Coming up behind you!" and then when he turned, "I just wouldn't want to get whacked with your bat!" and he laughed and said, "Nah, this is for the pit bulls". He asked me how the marathon went, and I was surprised he remembered. So I stopped and walked alongside him for a couple of minutes while we chatted.

I learned that he walks for exercise to maintain his own weight loss! He said he used to weigh 210, and now he's 170. He said he feels a million times better, and he wishes that overweight people would  be able to know what it feels like to be a "normal" weight, because they would see that it's worth the sacrifices to lose the weight. I didn't think of it that way before, but it definitely would be hard to go back to being obese now that I've experienced this size. Life was a lot harder before, from my self-confidence to tying my shoes to finding clothes.

Anyway, I hadn't stopped my Garmin while I walked with him, so when I started running again, my lap pace read 11:30. I made it a mission to try and get that mile pace down to 9:14, which is what my easy pace is supposed to be. I ran hard, but didn't quite make it. I got the lap pace down to 9:20. Not bad!

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A couple of friends of mine shared this article on Facebook about feeling too fat to be photographed, and it definitely hit home for me. If there is one thing I regret most about being fat, it's that I was so worried and occupied by the fact that I was fat. I avoided the camera like the plague, and because of that, I don't have many pictures from my 20's, or even late teens. Now, my kids don't have many pictures of them as babies with their own mother.

I'm not sure what I thought at the time. That anyone looking at the photo would think, "I can't believe she allowed herself to be photographed, she's so fat!"? It's a ridiculous way to think, and I wish I'd realized that back then. Once we had digital cameras, it was so easy to delete pictures, too. If I did happen to get photographed, all I had to do was push a button or two and it would be gone, never to be seen again.

When I look at pictures of other families, I never notice, "Oh, she's overweight" or "Her thighs look big", or "Look at that double chin". I just see the picture for what it is--a photo of that family, doing whatever it is they were doing in the moment. Once I realized this, I try to get a lot more photos of myself in the memories. Rather than taking tons of pictures of Jerry and the kids when we do something fun as a family, I'll get pictures of them, ask Jerry to take pictures with me in them, or even ask a stranger to take a photo for us. I want my kids to have those pictures to see that I was an active mom, that I did fun things with them. When I was overweight, judging by the photos, you would think my kids didn't even have a mom, because I was never in the pictures!

Just today, while we were waiting for dinner to get done (it was in the oven), the four of us went for a walk around the neighborhood. Jerry was being silly with the kids, and I took a bunch of photos. Then I asked him to take my phone out of my pocket to get a picture of Eli and me, because I was giving Eli a piggy back ride (and galloping while doing it, just ask my burning thighs!).

Someday, I want Eli to look at that and see a mom who gave him a piggy back ride... he's not going to notice (or care) that I'm not wearing make-up, that I didn't do my hair, or that I'm wearing yoga pants (all easier to see if Jerry hadn't gotten such a blurry pic!). I still have days where I feel fat, and I nitpick certain spots on my body in photos... but I never delete pictures for that reason anymore. I always think to myself, "Someday, I'll be happy that I have this." When I first started losing weight, I decided to take a picture every 10 pounds that I lost, so I could see the changes in my body. After I'd lost 10 pounds, I felt amazing, and I was so excited to see the difference. I wore the same clothes, and had Jerry take some comparison photos.

When I looked at the pictures, I was horrified. I looked exactly the same! I was really upset, and was thisclose to deleting the pictures. But I reminded myself that I would regret it, if I did, in fact, go on to reach my goal weight. I'd have wished that I saved those pictures!

And now? For all of the pictures that I did save, or allowed to be taken, I'm grateful to have them! I just wish I hadn't let my weight stop me from capturing memories with my family for so long.

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What a small world!

I did something today that I haven't done in a very long time... I ran intervals outside, on the roads. The treadmill makes intervals easier, because there is no thinking about it; just set the pace and run. The track is incredibly boring, so I've only done that a couple of times. The road is definitely most preferable because I don't get so bored, but it's HARD.

I had been planning to do hill repeats on the treadmill today, but it was mentally torturing me, so I decided to set up my Garmin to do 8 x 400 with 200 meter recovery jogs. (Basically, that means that after a half-mile warm-up, I would run a quarter mile hard, then jog slowly for about 0.13 miles... and repeat for a total of 8 times. Finish with a half-mile cool down.

I decided on an out-and-back route, because it's hard to make a lot of turns while trying to run really fast. I started with a half-mile jog, and then the Garmin started counting down beeps to my first hard interval. Since I hadn't done 400's outside in such a long time, I had no idea what kind of pace I was looking for. I guessed probably about 7:00-7:10/mi.

The first one nearly killed me, and I saw my pace was 7:05. So, I knew that I was going to be getting much slower before the last repeat! I wished that I'd set up 400-meter recovery jogs, instead of 200-meter ones. I didn't even fully catch my breath between the hard intervals. It was REALLY tough, and I wanted to quit so badly. But I finished, even though I could feel myself getting slower with each interval.

I was disappointed to see my pace, because I was sure that the last time I did intervals outside on the road, about a year ago, I was doing them with a pace in the high-6:00's or low-7:00's. I just looked it up on my blog, though, and today's wasn't too far off from last year! So I definitely feel better about today's run now, knowing I haven't gotten too much slower.

I always dread intervals, but I feel amazing once they're done! ;)

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This morning, I saw that a woman named Melissa posted a picture on my Facebook wall. She said it was a photo of her finishing her very first half-marathon (in 2009). And, what a small, small world... look who was finishing right behind her!!

Just in case you don't recognize that infamous blue shirt, it's ME :)  Crazy, right?! I was walking next to my friend, Mandie (in the black shirt). Just in front of Melissa (partially blocked by the guy in the white hat) is my mom. This was at the 500 Festival Mini-Marathon in 2009, where my "before" photo  was taken.

I remember so many of my thoughts throughout that race... Am I the biggest one here? (looking around); Yep, I'm the biggest one here. I'm glad I bought a new outfit for this race, because hopefully my pictures will look okay to post on Facebook. Don't look at the cameras, just walk tall and be confident. Oh, and suck in your stomach, Katie, there's a camera! My legs don't hurt as much as they did last year; good thing I trained this time. But, oh, the blisters! Next year, I'm going to be a hundred pounds lighter, and I'll do this race again...

Hahaha, looking at this picture that Melissa shared brought back so many of these memories! (Thank you, Melissa!)

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Stupid scale

Yesterday, was my long run, and it went so well! It was only seven miles, which isn't very "long" when I put it into perspective, but it was my scheduled long run of the week. Instead of running one of my usual routes from home, I decided to go to the State Park and run it there, for a change of scenery.

The weather wasn't too bad; I wore my Cold Gear pants, a short-sleeve tech shirt, and a light jacket. My long run pace is 8:53/mile, so that was the only target I had to aim for. When I got to the park, it was SO quiet. I didn't see a single boat or fisherman (usually, there are at least a dozen). After I got out of the car, I noticed a young man (probably about 20 years old) walking on the path that I was going to run. There was only one other car, so I'm assuming it was his. He was wearing jeans, so I didn't get the impression that he was out to exercise, and he wasn't carrying fishing gear. Since I was alone, I decided to just run my path the opposite direction, so that I wouldn't have to pass him. I'm sure he was harmless, but I get a little nervous when I'm by myself.

I've been having some good runs lately, and this one started out no differently. My pace was on target, and I really enjoyed the scenery. I ran along the beach (on the path, not the sand!) and the lake was SO calm that it looked like glass. When I ran through the campground, there wasn't a single soul there, and it was kind of eerie! As soon as I got to the edge of the woods, there was a deer who didn't even get spooked by me. Usually, when I see deer, they dart off into the woods like I'm going to hunt them down. But this one just looked at me, and actually took a few steps toward me, which was odd.

I'd planned to run the path right out of the park, turn around, and head back to the car, but instead, I changed my route so that I would stay inside the park the whole time. It was nice, not having to worry about traffic or loose dogs or anything like that. I never did come across anyone else out there, either! My pace felt good (not super easy, but not hard, either). It was just one of those runs where everything went well, and I felt good for starting my day that way!

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I've been frustrated with my weight. I wrote a few days ago about how I binged on chocolate chips; and the next morning, my weight had shot up by 5 pounds! I know that I didn't eat 17,500 calories worth of chocolate chips (!), so it wasn't a "real" gain, but usually something like that would make me go up a pound or two... not five. I told myself I'd just write it off and get back on track, but I felt defeated. Normally, I'm really good about not letting the scale upset me, because I KNOW that I have gains here and there that have nothing to do with how I'm eating. But for some reason, this one bothered me.

So instead of getting back on track, I ate some more. And since my week starts over tomorrow, today I just thought, "Eh, what's one more day?" I didn't binge, but I haven't counted my PointsPlus and I've definitely overeaten. I feel very puffy and I'm sure the scale would reflect that. So, I've chosen not to get on the scale for a while. I'm going to wait until December 12th, which is the anniversary of when I reached my goal weight. That gives me eight days to eat well and not let the scale get under my skin. The last time I took a short break from the scale (before the Chicago Marathon), I felt more free, and I was able to get back on track and feel good about myself. And I dropped the weight fairly easily! So that's what I'm going for.

For a fresh start, I'm starting a new 3-month food journal--I always like the blank pages of a new journal. I also reactivated my Weight Watchers ActiveLink today, because I feel like I've been getting sluggish lately. Aside from running, I haven't been moving much, so I am hoping that by using my ActiveLink, I'll push myself to be more active during the day.

Since today was a rest day, I didn't run. But after dinner, Jerry, the kids, and I all went for a walk. We went about a mile, and it was SO nice outside. I kept racing Eli to see who could skip to the next telephone pole faster (he won every time--I guess I'm not very good at skipping!). Both of the kids mentioned that they liked going for family walks, so we're going to make it a point to go more often.

I also decided to renew our rec center membership. It's only $100 for a family of four for an entire YEAR, which is a bargain. I want the kids to stay active during the winter, so this way, they'll have a pool, indoor track, basketball courts, racquetball courts, etc. I'm going to take them at least twice a week for a couple of hours, and I can get in some extra exercise, too! I have no excuses to let this little gain be the end of me. ;)

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