Determined to do three

After yesterday's run, I kept worrying that taking a month off really did set me back to Day One as far as running goes. I expected it to be so much easier. After I broke my jaw, I was running again in two weeks, even though I had to breathe through clenched teeth for six weeks because my jaw was wired shut. I remember being super dizzy from the medications I was taking, but I still ran.

So after yesterday's mile on the dreadmill, I was feeling really discouraged. This morning, while my kids were at church, I decided to go for a run outside. I dressed nice and warm and told myself that I would do three miles--but if I had to stop and walk, it was okay.  I left the iPod at home, so that I could hear my breathing and see if it sounded strained or as miserable as I sounded yesterday. Then I started running my favorite three-mile route, the peninsula by my house.

It was cold, but the perfect running weather kind of cold. I could have done without the headwind on the way out, but it was so nice to be running outside, that I didn't mind. I didn't see a single person outside, like I normally do. I started feeling the burning in my lungs at about 1/4 mile in. I just slowed down a little, but kept moving. The first mile went by slowly. The second mile I was really enjoying, because I was going nice and slow and just trying to pay attention to how my body felt. Then the third mile, I was ready to be done and just wanted to get home.

I finished the three miles without any walk breaks. When I got home, I did another quick video, to compare my breathing to yesterdays. It sounds much better.

It's interesting, though--I was going through my old blog today and came across this from a couple of years ago:

"I thought I was going to DIE--well, throw up, really--when I did the Week 3 Couch to 5k workout yesterday. It was really hard to do the 3-minute run. And I don't even run fast. I do my walking at 3 mph and my run at 5 mph. I'm so out of shape. I'm really dreading doing it again tomorrow. I hope it feels easier."

A three-minute run at a 12 min/mi pace made me want to DIE?! LOL

I think that until I start training for the half-marathon (sometime in February) I'm going to just run three miles three times per week like I did when I first became a runner. I'm going to take the next couple of days off to let my muscles recover from today. But I'm so glad that I was able to run the three miles I did!

After the run, I noticed a weird twinge-like pain in the top of my left thigh and another in the upper abdominal muscles. I really hope that is normal. I might call my surgeon tomorrow just to check.

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Jerry's been working EVERY DAY lately, and he has tomorrow off--I'm so excited to spend some quality time with him!  And by quality time, I mean we are going to have a super lazy day of a movie marathon while the kids are in school. We have some free movie passes that we have to use this month, so if there is anything good playing at the mall, maybe we'll do that instead.

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First post-op run

Last night was a lot of fun! Renee, Jessica, and Alicia came over to watch Hood to Coast, and we opened a few bottles of wine. Renee brought hummus and veggies, Alicia brought crackers and smoked cheese with almonds and cranberries, and Jessica brought dark chocolate bark with walnuts and dried cherries. Everything was delicious!  I had about 2 1/2 glasses of wine and probably too much chocolate ;)  It was totally worth it!

This morning, I caught up on e-mail and then was reading my book when I really had the urge to go for a run. I couldn't leave the kids to run outside, so I had to do it on the dreadmill. I'll be four weeks post-op on Monday (I can't believe it's been that long already!) and I figured I'd try and do three miles.  I sent the incline at 1% and started out at an 11:00/mi pace, but quickly went up to a 10:00/mi pace because I was feeling fine.

Then I started to feel the burning in the back of my throat. I haven't felt that since I was a beginner! It's the feeling of being out of shape and winded. I was so irritated at myself, but I was determined to keep going. Then I thought about it, and realized I really shouldn't be mad at myself. I was only 3 weeks and 5 days post-body lift surgery, and I was expecting to run three miles right off the bat!  So I finished a mile and called it quits. I'll see how I feel tomorrow, and I might run again on Monday if I feel okay. I'll try and do a mile and a half next time.

When I stopped, I was SO out of breath, and I am not used to that. Even when I would run 8-10 miles, I could catch my breath pretty quickly afterward. I decided to take a short video clip of myself after the run, and I'll compare it next time I run to hopefully see an improvement. I'm not exactly a pretty sight straight off the dreadmill, but here is the clip:

I was kind of dreading my first run, so I'm glad to be done with it now. I'm going to do minimal running at least until Jan. 1st, but I'm glad to know that I can at least still run. I was worried that my legs wouldn't work anymore or something!

Jerry and I took the boys to the skating rink again. We had coupons for free admission that expire tomorrow, so we wanted to use them. It turned out to be a waste of time. Noah said his leg hurt as soon as we got there, so he didn't want to skate. Then Eli was mad about something (no idea what) and he refused to skate. We told the kids that we were leaving.

We were the only people in the entire place, and I think the employees thought we were leaving because the kids were bored because no other kids were there, so they gave us more free passes as we were leaving. I ended up booking Eli's birthday party there for Jan. 14th. My kids have always had their birthday parties at our house, but they went to a party there recently and they really wanted to do the same thing.

Jerry just left for work, so I'm hanging out with the boys tonight. I taught them to play Old Maid and they think that game is hilarious, so we'll probably be playing that all night. And watching Dirty Jobs. ;)

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Picture frames

I seriously just wasted spent my entire day hanging picture frames. I'm terrible at hanging them--I can't figure out where to put each frame and then I get them crooked and off center, or I measure wrong, and they just look bad. So today, I was determined to do it RIGHT.

Jerry called the cable company this morning because our internet has been SO S.L.O.W. for the past three days or so (if you've been waiting for an e-mail or response from me, that's probably why you haven't heard anything! I'll try and catch up tomorrow). They said they'd send someone out, so I waited around for the cable guy. While I was waiting, I decided that I really needed to fix the frames and finally add the others that have been sitting in a closet for about four years (literally).

It was so hard!! I acted like a little kid having a fit--I screamed and stomped my feet, and told Jerry I was going to tear the house apart out of frustration. Lol, and I wonder why my kids are so dramatic! I finally figured out a system with a piece of paper with lines drawn all over it--it wasn't perfect, but I think I did pretty damn good!

Yes, that took me all day long. I'm just so glad that it's done now, and I don't have to look at the frames that were on the wall before, all crooked.

The cable guys (there were two) gave us a new modem and splitter under the house. Now the internet is working quickly again, and it's much less frustrating.

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Some of you asked what I used the cookie butter for--yesterday, I spread it on a few graham crackers and at it that way. I imagine it would be good on a Nilla Wafer, too. Or, and I can't wait for this, oats in a jar!  When it gets almost empty, I'm going to make my cinnamon raisin cookie oats and put it in the jar to eat. Yum!

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I have some runner friends coming over in less than an hour to watch Hood to Coast with me, so I have to cut this short. We'll have wine and snacks, too. Jerry's working tonight, so I'm really looking forward to some girl company!

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It doesn't get much better than this!

I've had such a great day today! It always seems like good things happen all in the same day and then everything will be boring again for a while.

I started today by trying on some jeans that I was hoping would fit (my goal jeans)--and they did! Then I went a step further, and tried on the one pair of jeans that I never in a million years thought I'd be able to button and zip and actually wear in public--they fit too!! Remember the Lucky brand jeans I bought this summer? They were super low cut and I never thought I'd be able to wear them, even with a tummy tuck. But I tried them on for shits and giggles today, and...

Ta da! And I don't even have a muffin top, so I can wear them with fitted shirts. Before, I couldn't even get the jeans up all the way, let alone buttoned. Sorry I keep posting so many comparison pics--I'm not fishing for compliments, I'm just in total AWE at the results of my lower body lift!

Speaking of which, I got my XS compression garment in the mail today. When I took it out of the package, I just thought, "Holy crap, how am I supposed to fit into that?!" because it was so tiny. Here is a pic of it on top of my goal jeans (which are a size 4, so they're small as it is):

 

You can see why I was worried about putting that thing on!  After some wrestling and holding my breath, I managed to get the hooks and zippers done, and now it's on. I can't really take a deep breath, but I'm compressed ;)  I have to wear this for 3 more weeks. I actually kind of like the compression feeling.

I also got something VERY exciting in the mail today from Lindsey at JavaMuser... When I opened the envelope and saw a Trader Joe's bag, I knew it was going to be good...

It felt heavy and cylindrical, so my first guess was some sort of nut butter. But it was BETTER, Friends. What could possibly be better than nut butter, you ask?

I did what anyone would do, and opened it immediately. I ate a spoonful right from the jar, and my kids must have heard my Oh-this-is-so-good moaning, because they wanted to try it too. I gave them a tiny little taste and they loved it of course. I told them sorry, but this is going on Mama's special shelf in the pantry ;)

It tastes like Snickerdoodle cookies or something. So yummy!  I've only been to a Trader Joe's once, and that was when I went to visit my brother in St. Paul, MN.  We don't have one around here, unfortunately. Thank you, Lindsey--you know me well!

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Today was Renee's birthday, and we went out to lunch four other girls (six of us total). It was so fun! We went to a restaurant called La Fiesta, which I'd never been to before. I ordered a lunch portion of shrimp fajitas, and unfortunately, they weren't very good. Actually, they were the worst fajitas I've ever had! But the company was good, so that made up for it ;)

After that, Renee, Jessica, and I went to Cabela's for Christmas shopping. I didn't need to buy anything, but it was fun to look around. I stopped at Kroger for a few things on the way home, and didn't get home until almost 4:00 when the kids get home from school.

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About the cookie socks giveaway... I wrote down everyone's names and then used a random number generator to pick a winner. It ended up being #2, who was Susan Snyder--congrats, Susan!  I already have your address from sending you the Gocket, so I ordered the socks and had them shipped to you :)

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SO EXCITED!

I'm going to write more later (and include some more pics), but for now, I'm just too excited not to share... I can wear my GOAL JEANS!!

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253

When I signed into blogger, I noticed that my "followers" number was the same as my starting weight--253. I don't know why I felt the need to point that out! ;)  I hate that number.

I started today with my Wednesday Weigh-In, and I was thrilled to see another loss!

Down 2 pounds from last week

I really need a pedicure! I had to remove my nail polish for surgery, and then I couldn't bend over that far to paint my nails post-op--so my nails are looking really shabby. I haven't asked Jerry to paint them--I'm sure he would if I asked!--but I'm afraid they might look worse than they do now ;)

Down 0.4% body fat from last week

At 136, I'm only THREE pounds away from my goal weight of 133! And right now, I'm only 8 pounds from my lowest weight of 128 in December of 2010. I don't think I'll wind up in the 120's again, but I would be thrilled to be at 133 or less. I chose that number because that is when my jeans were very comfy. At 134, they felt a little snug at the waist. I know it's only a pound, but at this weight, I feel EVERY POUND.

When I was over 200 pounds, I could gain or lose 15 pounds without even noticing it in my clothes. But now, every little pound counts. And it makes a difference in my running, as well. Once I get over 135ish, my pace is slower. I run best in the low 130's.

I haven't really been "dieting" since my surgery, so I will just keep doing what I've been doing and see where I end up--hopefully it'll be in the low 130's or less. 

I'm also thrilled that my body fat is almost in the teens again. I was worried it was going to go up and up since I'm not running right now, but thankfully that hasn't happened.

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Something that people e-mail or comment about most frequently is that I should write a book. About a year ago, I actually did write one, but I never did anything with it. By now, pretty much all of the info that I wrote is somewhere on my blog, so I was thinking of starting over from scratch with a different approach.

But for those of you that said I should write a book about my weight loss, I have a couple of questions. What kind of book are you thinking of? What would interest you? A memoir about my experience? An "advice" kind of book? A day-to-day journal from when I was losing the weight (which I still have)? I have so much info, but I don't know what people would be interested reading about.

I love memoirs in general, so I was leaning toward that--but my life is SO not interesting, I'm afraid that it would be horribly boring. Doing an "advice" book has been done ten thousand times before, so there wouldn't really be anything special to write about.

Something that I had in mind that would be kind of different would be to turn my old blog (my weight loss blog) into a journal-like book--editing the heck out of it, of course--and then throw notes or chapters into it sporadically, talking about things that helped me or things that I learned along the way. Does that make sense? I spent all day today going through my old blog (with Estelle on my lap--she loves the heated blanket).

So basically, I just need some input on what would be interesting to read!

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Jerry's co-worker gave him some of this Starbucks peppermint hot cocoa--and he brought it home for me, since I've been kind of hooked on hot cocoa lately!

I'm kind of tempted to mix it with decaf coffee to turn it into a peppermint mocha-like drink. I still haven't had coffee since the end of October. I don't even miss it anymore, really. But when Jerry drinks it, I really love the smell of it. I think I might get some decaf to have around when the craving hits.

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Tomorrow I actually have plans!  I'm going to lunch and to Cabela's with Renee and Jessica. It's Renee's birthday!

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The mom that ruined Christmas

I was lying back in the recliner today, and Phoebe decided she wanted to be a lap cat--she climbed on me (Jerry took a very blurry pic...) and then parked herself right on my chest.

She actually sat there for a while, and I didn't have the heart to move her--I wonder if she knew that it probably wouldn't feel good for her to climb all over my stomach right now?

I'm excited to watch The Biggest Loser tonight! I haven't been very into this season at ALL, but I always love watching the marathon. And this season all of the contestants are going to be running the marathon. I don't know why it's so exciting, but I love to watch.

Another show that I'm excited for is Fear Factor, which starts next Monday. Do you remember how awesome that reality show was?! I loved that show--and now it's coming back :)

Eli just told me that I was ruining Christmas. My kids are so dramatic. My dad picked them up from school today, and when they came home, I was unpacking their book bags. I noticed that they didn't eat any of their lunch, which made me mad. Then I pulled out a bunch of candy wrappers from their bags, and they told me that my dad gave it to them.

That is something that drives me crazy! He says it's a "treat" because they don't get it at home. I'm fine with him giving them ONE treat, but he gives them 5-6 pieces of candy or Little Debbie crap every time he sees them. No wonder they don't want their lunch at school! So I told them that my dad can't pick them up from school tomorrow, and they told me I was ruining everything about Christmas. ;)

Noah wrote this note and taped it to their bedroom door:

"Everybody come in, but not Mama! She ruined our Christmas"

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I'm getting so sick of eating all this protein, and I forgot to ask my doctor how long she wants me eating tons of protein. I can't wait to make some baked oatmeal and eat it for breakfast instead of a protein shake, and have a bowl of pasta for dinner instead of salmon and potatoes. I like protein shakes, and I like salmon, but I just want to go back to my very favorite foods (which basically contain very little protein).

ETA: I'm supposed to be getting 100+ grams of protein per day. My shake in the morning is about 40 grams, so I can't afford to eliminate that for oats with peanut butter (unfortunately) because that would be about 10 grams max. Maybe I'll just make baked oatmeal to have for my dessert at night!

My next post-op appointment isn't until Jan. 10th; I'll be six weeks post-op on Dec. 26, so maybe then I'll start cutting back on the protein and going back to normal. It doesn't help that I've been watching Dirty Jobs with the kids--one was about butchering cows and another was about bologna making. Nothing turns me off to meat more than watching it go from animal to store!

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Three weeks post-op (with pics)

After all the excitement that happened over the past 6 weeks (going to NYC to be a guest on Dr. Oz, having my lower body lift surgery, watching the airing of The Dr. Oz Show, recovering from surgery...) I feel like my life is so much more boring than it was before! I have no idea what I used to write about.

Running, obviously, but since I'm not doing that... I do like the idea of walking for exercise over the next few weeks while I recover. It seems so obvious, but it actually didn't occur to me to do exercise other than running! Thanks for the suggestion :)

I might walk on the dreadmill tomorrow and see how it goes. If I swell up huge, then I might put off any exercise a little longer. My knee has been feeling pretty good the past couple of days, so hopefully that whole thing is behind me.

Today marks three weeks of being binge-free! I binged the day before my surgery. I remember after my jaw surgery last year, I (obviously) couldn't binge for a long time while my jaw was wired shut. Then after I got the wires off, I binged, telling myself "just this once". Again and again. Once you do it the first time after a long time of not doing it, it becomes so much easier to do over and over again.

So, having learned my lesson last year, I'm going to try my best to stay binge-free--knowing that if I do it even ONCE, it will make me much more likely to do it again, until I'm bingeing a few times a week.

I've been eating "normally", or as a lot of people like to call it, "intuitively".  I hesitate to call it that, because "intuitive eating" has its own set of rules, but I'm not following any rules--just trying to eat like a normal person. My surgeon still wants me eating a lot of protein, so I've been doing that.

I've been super tempted a few times to binge--Mrs. Fields was a really big temptation to me, and when I was grocery shopping today, I wanted to buy some cookie dough so badly! To eat raw, of course, despite all the health warnings on the label, lol. I don't feel controlled enough to make a batch of cookies and not binge, so I will have to either buy one or two cookies from a bakery if I want, or just wait until I have enough control to have them in the house.

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I am also three weeks post-op today. So I took some new photos, although they don't look much different than the last photos I posted. I think my belly button looks a little smaller. I'm still very swollen--in the lower abdomen, which you can't really tell from the pics. But I'm swollen, I swear! I'll try and take new pics weekly to see the progress.

2 weeks after lower body lift

3 weeks after lower body lift

Just for the record, I do have other panties... I just use these for comparison purposes! ;)

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Check out what I got in the mail today!!

One of you told me about these cookie socks a long time ago, but they were out of stock. I just got an e-mail earlier this week that they were back in stock, so I bought some. They're really cozy socks, too. (The picture makes them look discolored by the feet--they aren't! I don't know why they look like that).

Once I saw that I liked them, I decided that I wanted to buy another pair to give away to one of my readers! Instead of doing a regular giveaway, I'm going to limit this giveaway to the people that have bought a Gocket from me to help me pay for my surgery. I want you to know how much I appreciated your help! So if you bought a Gocket, and you would like to be entered in a drawing for a pair of these COOKIES socks, just say so in the comments (or e-mail, if you can't comment for some reason).

I was going to just enter everybody that bought a Gocket, but I thought maybe someone doesn't want a pair of socks, so just let me know if you'd like to be entered.  I'll pick a winner on Thursday morning, and announce it on Thursday's blog post.

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Stupid glazed carrots

I think I finally understand exactly how important a role exercise plays in reducing stress. It has been three weeks since I've gone for a run, which is the longest I've gone without running in almost 2 years. Even after my jaw surgeries, I was running after about two weeks.

I feel really on-edge and bitchy lately. My body feels really antsy, like I need to be moving or doing something. I don't feel ready to go for a run yet; I feel okay as far as my lower body lift goes, but my knee is still really bothering me. I'm going to give it another week or so, and see how I feel about it then. When I scheduled my surgery, I didn't plan on running again for six weeks; so I really need to stop feeling guilty for not running!

Anyway, I think that the running regularly kept me from feeling this on-edge. Even though I didn't realize it at the time, it was making my body feel used and useful. Now my body just feels like it's good-for-nothing. I don't really know how else to explain it. Hopefully once I start running again, I'll stop being so bitchy!

I've been snapping at Jerry a lot lately for things that are really stupid. Today we got in an argument before he left for work. An argument that started because of glazed carrots, of all things.

I made turkey loaf for dinner, and I decided to make something different than the usual potatoes to go with it. I had a bag of frozen carrots in the freezer for a while, so I decided to make glazed carrots, thinking that the kids would like them because they're sweet and sugary.

Glazed carrots with cranberries...a.k.a. How I tortured my family.

Jerry has never been a fan of vegetables, although he's come a long way since we got married. When I told him I was going to make glazed carrots, he didn't say anything, which I expected. I knew he wouldn't exactly be thrilled with the choice, but he never complains about what I cook.

I thought the carrots turned out good. We all sat down to eat, and the kids immediately started complaining, like they always do. They are NEVER happy with what I cook--today the turkey loaf was "too spicy" and the carrots were "gross". Then, of course, they act like they are gagging and going to throw up. This is a daily routine, no matter what I make. Jerry ate all of his carrots before he even touched his meatloaf, which I know means that he doesn't like them. (He always eats his least favorite thing first, so that he can truly "enjoy" the rest of his meal).

I asked if he liked them, and he said yes. When I was cleaning up after dinner, I asked if he wanted to take the leftover carrots to work with the leftover meatloaf, and he said no. He kept insisting that he liked them, but I'm not stupid! We've been together for 12 years--I should know. I got mad and said "If you don't like them, just TELL ME YOU DON'T LIKE THEM."

So he said, "Fine, I don't like them."  Which just pissed me off. I wasn't mad that he didn't like them, but for two other reasons: 1) He lied the first dozen times, and 2) He made up his mind before he even tried them that he wouldn't like them, just like the kids. All I have to do is tell the kids what I'm making, and they say, "I hate that" when they've never even tried it.

I love to try new things, no matter what they happen to be. Even if it's something I "know" I won't like, I try it anyways. And I'm just mad that my family is the exact opposite, which makes it very difficult when I cook. I want to make new things all the time, but they never like to try new things with an open mind. Jerry insists that I should just make whatever I want, and he'll eat it without complaint, but I feel guilty doing that. I always feel like I need to make something everyone will like. My kids want to live off of pasta with butter and parmesan cheese, nothing else.

Enough about all that.

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Here is a picture I took yesterday and forgot to post. Jerry and Eli rollerskating... love Eli's face! He's still at the age where he's proud to be seen with his parents. Noah avoided us like the plague, because one of his friends was there ;)

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I am writing a post about "the good, the bad, and the ugly" of a lower body lift/circumferential tummy tuck/belt lipectomy/whatever you want to call the surgery I just had. So if any of you have any questions about the surgery, recovery, my surgeon, or anything, feel free to ask!  When I was researching the surgery, I couldn't find any blogs about it. There were a few tummy tuck blogs, but not the full extent of the surgery I had. So I'm hoping to make a post with a ton of info for anyone who might be thinking about the surgery.

I'm still super swollen in my lower abdomen. I'm dying for the swelling to go away, so I can wear my small jeans. Lately, I've been wearing the same jeans I wore before surgery--they fit a lot looser than before, but that makes them more comfortable against my incision.

I can't stop thinking about how glad I am that I had the surgery! I wish I didn't have to wear this compression garment 24/7, because I would probably walk around in my bra and panties, just because I like looking at my belly.  ;)

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And I'll leave you with this picture of Estelle--she's LOVING Christmas!

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Exhaused

What an exhausting day!  My whole body aches right now. I need to keep in mind that I just had a major surgery less than three weeks ago, and I still need to take it easy.

Jerry and I went Christmas shopping all morning and into the afternoon. I hate Christmas shopping! In fact, I'm kind of a grinch because I really dislike Christmas--it's the most stressful time of year, and it costs a fortune. I would love a Christmas that didn't involve gifts at all, but just spending time talking and laughing together with family that I enjoy.

Okay, I just took a break from writing in order to eat dinner, and I'm not as crabby now :)  While we were at the mall, I was DYING to buy a cookie from Mrs. Fields. And not just any old cookie... it was a chocolate chip cookie sandwich, with tons and tons of buttercream frosting sandwiched between the two chocolate chips cookies. I knew that if I ate it, I would obsess about it and keep wanting to go back and get another. That's how my mind works with certain foods, and the Mrs. Fields cookies are one of them. The monster cookie at the top of my blog is another ;)  So I skipped the cookie, but it's been on my mind all day.

After shopping, we went to the roller skating rink so that the boys could skate, and they had a blast. Jerry ended up skating too. I would have if I wasn't worried about falling and screwing up all the work my surgeon just did!

Now we are going to head over to my mom's. My sister is in town, and she brought Christmas presents for the kids, so we're going to celebrate Christmas tonight with her. After that, I plan on doing NOTHING and just sitting around for the night. My body is pretty achy. I quit taking Motrin a few days ago, so I'm not taking anything for pain. I'm not in pain, but just a little sore.

Oh, and since a lot of you were asking how I slept the other night, since I was able to sleep on my stomach after having my drain removed...

I was pretty happy :)  Unfortunately, I'm still not able to sleep well. I'm going to take a sleeping pill tonight to try and get a good night's sleep.

I somehow managed to screw up my knee a few days ago. It feels like runner's knee but SO much worse than I've ever felt before. I wasn't even doing anything--just sitting in the recliner, and when I stood up, my knee was absolutely killing me. I couldn't straighten it, I couldn't bend it, and it constantly felt like it was going to give out on me. After a couple of days, it was feeling a little better, but then it started hurting again. I don't know.

I was planning on running on Monday, but I don't want to if my knee is still bothering me. It figures I would get injured while taking time OFF from running! ;)

I finally finished that afghan for the hospital! I was so happy and relieved to have it done. But it actually feels weird to sit and watch TV without crocheting at the same time.

Anyways, sorry this was such a rushed post. I'll try and come up with something more interesting tomorrow to write about! I hope you're all out enjoying your Saturday night--doing something a little more fun than I am :)

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