Anyway, I've been feeling depressed lately, and I keep hoping that it'll pass or that it's not really depression, it's just feeling down. Over the past couple of days, it's become clear to me that it's a depressive episode. I'm hoping it'll just be mild and short.
Something that I think may have triggered it is that I am done with all the projects that I needed to do around the house. I LOVED working on projects every day--even the horrid scraping of the textured ceiling or sanding the walls. There was something so satisfying about seeing the progress I was making.
Now, I don't have it in the budget to start working on something else. Jerry's dad got me a table saw for Christmas (seriously!!!!) and I'm dying to use it; but Jerry and I decided to work on paying down our car and house this year, so we're cutting spending on unnecessary things and putting it toward the principle on those payments.
I've been using up the scrap materials I have (for woodwork), but I'm getting down to the scraps of the scraps, so I can't really think of anything to make with what I have. Anyway, I don't know if the lack of projects is what's causing the depression, but it seems likely.
Right now I don't feel excited about anything. I was looking forward to working on my goals this year, but it's been such a challenge for me to do anything. I desperately want to just feel better! I haven't changed my meds or anything lately, so I don't have any other ideas as to what's causing it.
I'll be okay. I just may not be writing the best posts. I did promise myself to write every day, even if I'm only sharing a photo or writing a single paragraph. So it'll be something.
Actually, I really don't even know what else to say. So this will quite possibly be my shortest post ever! I'll see if I can find a few photos on my phone to share...
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| Whenever Jeanie comes to town, she asks if anyone would like a bundt cake from a place called "Nothing Bundt Cakes" (cute). They are SO SO SO amazing! I like to get the lemon flavor, but they have several others. She gets hers in Rockford, IL, but she said it's a chain. She came into town for a couple of days for Christmas, so I had my lemon bundt cake ;) |
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| This is Jerry with our new niece! This is Laura (Jerry's sister)'s baby, Shelby. She was born on December 5th, which happens to be Laura's birthday as well. They came to visit Monday. |
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| For Christmas, my mom got Riley (my 17-month old niece) a baby carrier with a baby doll. She wasn't interested in wearing it, but Luke was... so he put the baby on chest in the carrier. It was so cute! |
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| For Christmas, I bought Luke a digger for outside (Brian and Beckys' new house is ALMOST done, and I can't wait to share pictures!). Luke has been seeing a trillion different types of heavy machinery for the last couple of years, and I was so glad that he loved my gift! (I bought it on Amazon here--(affiliate link). |
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| I just loved this picture of Phoebe looking out her cat door. She was waiting for me to be distracted enough by the squirrels that she could slide between my legs and sneak outside. She's great at that! |
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| This was from New Year's Eve. Jerry and I had two other couples come over, and these are my girlfriends, Renee and Amanda. We played board games, which was fun! |
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| Since Brian and Becky have an enormous amount of wooded property, and and insane number of windows on their house, my parents gave each of the kids binoculars for Christmas, so they can look out at the deer and other animals they may see. Riley couldn't quite get the idea of just putting the lenses up to her eyes ;) |
Hang in there, we all get down periods, it does not sound too bad yet. You look like you had fun on new Year's Eve. Try to look at problems in a different way to improve. If you want your post to look longer view on a phone upright! Maybe one of your local friends would commission a wooden furniture piece you could get excited about at cost. Or sell something second hand to fund your DIY?
ReplyDeleteAs someone with bipolar disorder, the statement “Hang in there, we all get down periods,” drives me bonkers. Yes, we all get down periods. I also get periods of depression, which is not the same thing.
DeleteFrom the mayo clinic: "Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest ... it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and sometimes you may feel as if life isn't worth living. More than just a bout of the blues, depression isn't a weakness and you can't simply "snap out" of it".
That's a rather tame definition of depression. Often times its much, much worse. And what starts off as mild, can quikly turn into a severe and debilitating medical condition.
I know this comment was coming from a good place and trying to be encouraging, but please don’t trivialize bipolar (or uni-polar) depression as just a “down period”. Ok, rant over. Thank you.
I've been cleaning out "stuff" from the house and garage and selling things that I find worthy of selling... so it's nice extra pocket money!
Delete(And I appreciate your encouraging words... while it's true that sadness and depression are different, I understand what you were saying. Thank you for thinking of me!)
Or maybe I know exactly what depression is like and know it can't be fixed quickly 'so hang in there' is the only advice I would give myself when I actually have depression as all the rest is detail for when it's not too bad. Yes 'down' is the word I use before depression you obviously don't.
DeleteAll I'm trying to say is I think the number of people who have had depression, real depression, is vastly underestimated as we his it and don't go to a doctor's for it until dragged by someone else. Thanks for understanding Katie I'm try to say 'try to stay positive' even though for 'real depression' that's nearly impossible. Also Congratulations for posting every day this year, that's really good going.
DeleteI think what set me off was that Katie specifically said she was feeling depressed and then you turned it around and described it as down period that everyone gets. If you had said something along the lines of “Hang in there. Depression sucks. It doesn’t sound too bad yet …” it probably wouldn’t have jumped out at me.
DeleteI absolutely agree that the number of people who experience depression is much higher than most people think and unfortunately, many people who do experience depression don’t seek out help. I think that’s partially because so often people dismiss it, thinking “it's not that bad, everyone feels down sometimes.”
I hope it passes soon. Something that may be fun would be what a friend of mine here does. He drives around on garbage day and picks up furniture that people are throwing out, brings it home and either saves it for bigger projects or just revamps it to give away or even sell. Since youa re loving the DIY redo stuff maybe that could work and since you are getting the pieces for free you can just use left over paint or stuff you have it is free :) xo
ReplyDeleteI would love to do something like that! I'm always on the look-out for a good furniture piece to pick up, but most furniture is made so cheaply these days, it's not worth refinishing. Hopefully I'll find a treasure soon! ;)
DeleteThat is true....we do now live in a world of IKEA and pressed wood LOL
DeleteI hope you feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, have you ever thought about helping out on a Habitat for Humanity house building project? They would be SO grateful for your skills!
Also, maybe you could post on NextDoor that you are available to consult on neighbors’ DIY projects, to provide guidance and support? A great little side hustle!
I never thought about Habitat for Humanity, but that sounds like something I'd love to do! I am going to look into it. I don't even know if there is one nearby.
DeleteI like the idea about posting on NextDoor as well. The only posts on there tend to be "someone's dog is running loose" *eyeroll* Hahaha, I will have to think about what to write!
Hi sweetie--I hate when fun things end, it is such a loss. After my wedding I was so sad that it was over. The planning, family time, and happiness had been such a joy. How can you keep doing DIY stuff in a meaningful way? Might is be possible for you and Jerry to buy a small property that needs work to then rent out or "flip" and sell? Can you offer your skills out to friends and neighbors for free or for a fee? As you think about your options, pay attention to whatever sparks a bit of joy. That will be the best direction! I hope you are not too depressed to do some problem solving and thinking. I suspect you are on track with the end of the DIY stuff, as that has been meaningful and important to you and your family. hugs to you, and keep us posted.
ReplyDeleteI was talking with Jerry about about much fun it would be to flip a house! I know we could get one for very cheap and spend some time working on it. It'd be right up my alley! I think we'll try to do that as soon as we pay off our house.
DeleteNothing Bundt Cakes is in Phoenix too...I live north of there about 90 min. Almost every Phoenix trip, I try to make a stop there...so so so yummy! They had a pumpkin one in Oct/Nov that was AMAZING!
ReplyDeleteOoooh, I bet the pumpkin one was SO good! I wish we had one around here... they are so delicious. Maybe it's better we don't have them ;)
DeleteMaybe you could offer your handy-woman services to friends and family! You could try to fully monetize it if you want (charge for both materials and for your time), or you could basically offer your time as a gift and just ask them to pay for the materials. I'm sure some of your friends would LOVE to have simple things done in their homes - shelves added, doors painted, etc. - but just have no idea where to start. I would love it if I had a friend who knew what she was doing and could help me with things like that!! And if you get a mood boost from it, then it's beneficial both ways.
ReplyDeleteAlternatively, you could try looking for furniture on curbs or super cheap at secondhand stores (you can pick up little things like end tables for $5-10), fix them up, and then re-sell them on Marketplace or whatever for a profit. I wouldn't expect to make a killing from it, but I think it's safe to say you'd at least break even, and maybe even make a bit of pocket change to boot!
I think it'd be super fun to buy cheap used furniture and give them a makeover to resell. Even if I didn't make much money from it, like you said, it would be fun to work on!
DeleteTry freecycle or other FB pages and see if someone is giving away raw materials or old doors and such that you can turn into raw materials. Perhaps you could re-purpose a few pieces and sell them a local FB site for a little extra cash. You are really talented and precise and i'm sure you could find a projest out there to get excited about!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I do check out FB Marketplace (although I haven't tried freecycle--that's a great idea) every once in a while. I would love to work on projects like that!
DeleteDo you have a local Buy Nothing Facebook group in your neighborhood? You can post there that you're looking for materials and connect with someone who might otherwise throw them away.
ReplyDeleteThat's a great idea! Our township just canceled our recycling pick-up (I was so angry!) so I hate throwing things away now. I'm sure other people feel the same. It'd be great to put some unwanted things to use!
DeleteHave you ever considered getting a job? I mean I have crippling anxiety and really just have to plow through it to get my work done, in time you get used to it. Plus it brings in a lot of extra money to spend on vacations and whatever. If I sat home all day stewing about how bored I was and thinking about anxiety, I would have myself in an anxious state constantly. Get out of your own head and do something you enjoy out of the house that you get paid to do.
ReplyDeleteI've written about this before, but it just isn't practical for me to get a (third) job. (I earn money as a blogger, and I am a wife/mom at home). I spend 2-3 hours a day in the car driving my kids to/from school and events. I really enjoy being a stay-at-home mom and wife (I never would have been able to remodel my house if I wasn't!) so I'd like to find a project to work on that I enjoy. Someone mentioned Habitat for Humanity, and I like that idea. I also love the idea of flipping a house or just making over used furniture and selling it. :)
DeleteDecember was the worst my depression has been in most of a year. I feel like it might have been a convergence of a lot of things...holidays, lack of daylight, death anniversaries, dieting (and feeling a little frustrated with giving up some bad habits even though I know it was the right thing to do), work stress, marriage stress...It has all been kicking my butt. Hoping the new year will bring a bit more positivity. I'm kinda regretting canceling a therapy appt I would normally have early part of each month. Praying this will pass soon for both of us. ((HUGS)) P.S. Congrats on the table saw!
ReplyDeleteI completely understand. My stress level in the fall was sky-high and I still feel like I'm recovering from that. It's like I need time to stop for a few weeks while I catch up and get in a good mindset again! I hope you feel better soon!
DeleteI can relate to how you are feeling. I have suffered from depression for a long time and started taking regular medication last year. I can remember feeling the happiest I have ever felt going into to Christmas but since then I have been struggling. I thought at first it was a post Christmas slump, then maybe the wrong time of the month but as each day goes by I'm not feeling any improvement in my mood..I really don't want to feel like this for the next few months. I hope the depression lifts for both of us really soon.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that you're going through that, Lea. I completely understand, especially the hope that it will go away soon. I got used to being so stable and now that I feel depressed, it's scary!
DeleteNothing Bundt Cakes is amazing! Plus, they give you a free one on your birthday if you join their e-club, and they have a birthday cake flavor (funfetti cake) that is my fav ;)
ReplyDeleteI can't know your situation or your finances, but if the DIY projects help your mental health, then investing a little money in them is like a therapy copayment. Some people benefit from a therapy session, an art class, a vacation, etc. If you treat it like necessary self-care, you can fund it without guilt. I don't know whether it's doable for you, but sometimes the shift in perspective can help prioritize what otherwise wouldn't be a justifiable expense. Best of luck to you, Katie. We're all rooting for you (as always) on this journey!
I was thinking about that (DIY projects being part of a mental health "budget", so to speak). As long as I keep it to one small-ish project at a time, I think it would be fine. I love the idea of finding furniture that people are throwing away or buying something cheap at a secondhand store and then restoring it and selling it. My "pet feeding station" is still very popular on Pinterest, so it'd be fun to make unique things like that to sell!
DeleteJust an idea. Since you are looking for projects and trying to pay down bills, have you thought about making wood projects to sell? WIN WIN!! You get to make stuff and make money doing so. :) I hope the depression passes.
ReplyDeleteThank you :) That would be a dream job! I'm still not confident enough in it that I would feel comfortable trying to earn money for it--but I guess it can't hurt to try!
DeleteMaybe just try selling a few small things like wooden ornaments, or small wooden shelves on Etsy?
DeleteThat's a tough place to be. Hope things start to feel better soon. The cat door photo is adorable!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I hope so, too. And I was so happy to get that photo of Phoebe in the cat door. It looked like I posed her that way, haha!
DeleteAgree with everyone above who suggested turning your interest/skill in house projects into a side hustle! Could be a great way to turn your hobby into a flexible job. Also hope you feel better soon. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's funny that you mention feeling depressed and relating it to not having any projects to do. I work from home and when things get slow I find myself feeling very down and I don't want to do anything. Hmmm.
ReplyDeleteJust a thought ...
ReplyDeleteYou are beyond talented when it comes to DIY projects. Have you ever thought of reaching out to others and asking them to contact you if they have leftover wood (for free). Some people just stack the wood up with the hopes of getting to it one day. Take care of yourself Katie.
Don't want to sound bitchy, but the comment "have you ever thought about getting a job?" Oh da! I've been taking Imipramine since my early 20's for anxiety. I kept getting panic attacks out of the blue. Didn't have a clue what was happening. I think winter is depressing! I get SO HAPPY every March when I see the first robin in the yard! Something I know will help my mood is getting back into running. I couldn't finish 3/3/3 because of foot pain, so I took a break to let it heal. I really think it was a stress fracture. This morning I'm getting on the mill. It's gonna be SLOW and not very much fun. But it puts me in the best mood. Being a runner is something I always want.
ReplyDelete