March 15, 2019

Relating to the People on My 600-lb Life (and why I think I may have been successful in dropping the weight)

Jerry and I recently became totally addicted to the show on Netflix called Ozark. Yesterday, Jerry was off work and we binge watched several episodes of season one. I'm super bummed that there are only two season so far! It's a great show--it reminds me a bit of Breaking Bad, only it focuses more on the money laundering than it does the drugs. And unfortunately, there is no Jesse Pinkman ;)

I've also been watching episodes of My 600-lb Life here and there (I swear I do things other than watch TV, haha!) and it's scary how much I can relate to the people on there. It makes me wonder why I was able to lose the weight even though I have the same food issues they do.

A lot of them had abusive childhoods--sexual, physical, and/or emotional--and in general, it sounds like that contributed to their overeating. Thankfully, I never experienced that abuse, but I do relate to so much of what they say about food. And a lot of their habits are familiar to me--either now or when I was obese.

One thing that I've noticed is that they have so many excuses, though. I promised myself from the very beginning that I wouldn't make excuses for my weight. I know that I became obese because I was choosing to overeat. The cravings and the temptation were SO uncomfortable and the only way to shut it up was to binge eat.

So why did I finally get it together and lose the weight? I honestly don't know why I could and those people can't. Or aren't willing to try hard enough.

Jerry and I were talking about it yesterday, and I think that a big part of my success is that social media wasn't really a big thing back then (in 2009). It was before people started getting very critical on social media outlets like Facebook. I honestly don't think I'd be able to do it if I had started today instead of back in 2009.

Everybody has an opinion of what we should eat, what we shouldn't eat, what diets are healthy, the best exercises for weight loss, how many calories are too much, how many calories are too little, and a trillion other things. I've been criticized for ALL OF IT:

I ate too many grapes which are just loaded with sugar (clearly, that wasn't a smart alternative from the WHOLE BOX of Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls I used to eat). Jerry, the kids, and I went out for frozen yogurt for a special dinner on Father's Day a few years ago and that clearly made me a horrible role model for my kids. I eat way too many calories. I eat way too few calories. I exercise too much. I don't exercise enough. My goal weight is too low. My goal weight is too high.

I've heard it all. And thank God I stopped getting upset by it and started just doing my own thing. Even if "my own thing" means gaining weight every year only to lose it again, it has worked so far (nine years and counting).

And today, I finally feel like I'm at the point where I just don't think that weight is that damn important. Yes, I want to get to a weight that makes me feel better, but I don't hate what I look like and I have more important things on my mind right now (my mental health, mainly).

Anyway back to the point... Before social media, people did things without reserve. They weren't worried about what others thought, because they never saw what others thought! It wasn't posted on blogs or Facebook or other social media. The harsh comments I've received over the years used to be very hurtful, and I highly doubt I would have continued losing weight if I had to deal with the anxiety of that.

So, I am grateful that I was able to do the majority of my journey before all of that.

Also, I keep in mind that nobody knows what is going through my mind. My mental illness makes me think differently than the average person. Having bipolar, I know what works for my skewed brain. And even though I am not at my goal weight right now, I've kept off 90-ish pounds for over 8 years. I'd say that's pretty damn successful.

In other news, I've been having some physical symptoms due to my anxiety/depression lately. I feel back to where I was a couple of years ago when I was going to physical therapy for my shoulder. I get very tight knots in my shoulder and neck. It's extremely painful, but Jerry helps work them out a bit. I have no idea if it's helping, but I like to think it is.

The mental stuff has had a big impact on my physical health. Other than the knots, my whole body aches. My heart has been racing and I constantly feel like a have a noose around my neck, strangling me. It's hard to swallow. I get dizzy a lot (something else that happens from anxiety). Now that I've discovered that the caffeine was a big culprit for anxiety, I am hoping that the physical symptoms will start to improve.

Anyway, this was a huge tangent on what my bringing up My 600-lb Life was for. During the trillion ads that TLC shows on their app, I noticed one for alcohol-free Heineken. Heineken was my very favorite beer! Since I quit drinking, I haven't tried non-alcoholic beers because they are hard to find around here and I just don't really care that much about beer.

When I saw the commercial, though, I got very excited. I told Jerry that we have to find it! And interestingly, the party store (convenience store) that we walk to in our neighborhood happens to carry it. I was shocked! But one of the employees that works there doesn't drink alcohol, and he loves it, so he continues to stock it.

Anyway, Jerry picked some up as a surprise, and I saved it for a special treat last night. I was really hoping it would taste like Heineken...

Non Alcoholic Heineken Beer

And it does!

If you gave me the 0.0% Heineken in a regular Heineken bottle, I would not know the difference. Honestly. I was thrilled to find a go-to drink that I can "BYOB" when we go to friends' houses and still feel like I fit in a bit. Honestly, people probably wouldn't even notice that it's alcohol-free because the bottle looks similar to the regular Heineken beer bottle.

So, I decided to have one each evening as a special treat. And the non-alcoholic Heineken only has 69 calories! I've been craving vegetables lately, which is odd, but I'm going with it; so, I will have some veggies and hummus for a snack at night with my NA beer. I went grocery shopping today and bought several healthy foods--stuff for fruit salad, and veggies to have with hummus.

Tonight, I made a Southwest Chicken Salad, and it was delicious! I can't remember the last time I ate salad. I go through phases--sometimes I hate salad (most of the time, actually), but sometimes I crave it. Lately, it has sounded really good!

I also started working on writing a walking program today. I know that I am a running coach, but I think that this walking plan I'm working on can be very helpful for getting in good shape as well as weight loss. It's similar to my 10K training (which helped me get to my lowest weight) but I adapted it for walking on the treadmill. (It could be done outside as well, but I'm focusing on the treadmill to use the incline).

I will experiment with it on myself and if it goes how I hope, then I'll get it all ready to post here. I figured that since I'm not able to stick to a running plan right now, what is wrong with walking? Nothing! Walking is a great way to exercise, especially if throwing in some tougher walking workouts. I used to feel like switching from running to walking would be taking a big step back and I wouldn't feel good about that. Now, I think that a walking program is very respectable. And it would be a nice change of pace.

Since I always do better with a schedule, just saying that I'll walk 30 minutes a day won't work well. I need a schedule to follow. The plan I'm writing is 12 weeks, and it'd be fun to work on, especially as the weather warms up. I'll still do most of my walks on the treadmill, probably, but I'll likely do my long walks and easy walks outside. I'll keep you posted on the progress!


  1. I haven't had a drink since last June. It gets easier and easier and the thought of having one disappears. It actually becomes scary thinking about having one and what its effects will be. Thanks for the info about the 0.0 Heineken! I haven't really had a problem in years, but my husband does and I would like to support him. I've been walking more too and am not obsessing over the need to run. I have been doing a 21 Day Tabata yoga challenge on Daily OM. Every day a new muscle group is super sore! You can find her on youtube for free; Sadie Nardini. I was skeptical at first, but it's kind of fun to try a more aerobic yoga. Food for thought because I know you like challenges like I do!! And the mind games of the running routine can get old. I'm not trying to give advice, just wanted to let you know how i've been changing things up. Love your house, btw. :) Orange is my favorite color

  2. Your post reminded me of a saying "it's none of my business what people think of me". Social media can connect people but it can also break them down.

    I always learn something from your posts so thank you!!

  3. Love Ozark!
    I get really tense when my anxiety in high gear and wake up barely able to move my neck. I also develop knots in my shoulders and hurt all the time.
    I would love to have your walking workout! I've decided that running is too hard for me right now, although I would like to incorporate some again at some point.

  4. Really random but have you heard of the peloton app? They have cycling, running, walking, and boot camp workouts you can do on your own equipment. Of course I think they try to sell you on their equipment but you can jgngore that. I think they have yoga and meditation too. I’m using it because I get bored really easily. Haha anyway just thought I’d share in case you wanted to change things up at some point. You’re awesome and I love your candor and your blog!

  5. Hi Katie!
    A friend introduced me to your blog a few years ago and I just love following along! Thanks for always being so honest and open.
    I'm trying to get back on track with weight loss and exercise and walking is my absolute favorite thing to do. I can't wait to see your walking plan!

  6. I love how you are sticking to your goals.
    Keep us updated on your walking plan. I think it is a good segway back into running and I am excited to hear the details.

  7. I would love to follow your walking plan! I used your walking plan for a half marathon in the fall, but would like a shorter distance.

  8. Ahem. I would love to try your walking program. *grin*

  9. Love Ozark too! I'm glad you found the NA beer, Yay for you!
    Yes, to the walking plan!!! I would love to follow it. I try to walk for at least 30 minutes every day, but I'm definitely like you and would do better with a plan! Can't wait!

  10. You have hinted at the fact that you "may" have an issue with alcohol.I can assure you that drinking non-alcoholic beer is always a bad idea. I really don't understand the thinking behind drinking something that looks like a "real" beer so you'll fit in at parties. If you need to hold a beer in your hand to fit in, you should probably stay home; you don't need to be around people like that. Anyone who you consider a friend and asks why you're not drinking, and makes you feel uncomfortable, probably has some issues themselves. You're not a kid anymore, you owe no one an explanation. These are just a few lessons I've learned in my 12 years as a sober alcoholic.

    1. You don't understand because it's not your thinking. It's hers.


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