November 02, 2018

Intermittent Fasting Trial, Day 2 -- Being Photographed While Overweight


Day 2 was another success! I stopped eating last night at 9:30 pm. I hadn't planned on eating more after I wrote my blog post, but Noah's girlfriend brought me a piece of her birthday cake... the most amazing carrot cake! (And you know what a sucker I am for carrot cake.) Her grandmother made it, and every single bite was heavenly.

I'd like to aim for an 18 hours fasting to 6 hours eating window, so that would mean eating at 3:30 today. I like to eat dinner at 4:00, so the timing was great. This morning, I put one of my prepped meals from the freezer into the slow cooker. I chose to make chili. I have been craving Wendy's chili for weeks now, and I looked up some copycat recipes. I'd made a couple before, but something about them was a little off from Wendy's.

The one I made in the slow cooker today was almost spot-on, and it definitely hit the spot! It's been cold and rainy here in Michigan, and nothing sounded better than a hot bowl of chili (with saltine crackers). I read through a ton of different copycat recipes before coming up with my own interpretation. I posted the recipe today, which you can find here: Slow Cooker Wendy's Chili.

This morning, I read a blog post by Andie Mitchell about her postpartum body. Andie lost 135 pounds several years ago, and has had the same ups and downs with her weight as I have. She recently had a baby boy, and in her post, she shared a self-proclaimed unflattering photo--in it, she was holding her baby, wearing her underwear and a robe, while eating a burger and french fries.

She wrote a lovely post about capturing these moments to look back on years from now. She admits that this is where she is right now--50+ pounds overweight and eating comfort food while sleep deprived and getting used to motherhood.

I think most of us moms can relate to those moments when our babies were new and we felt overwhelmed and definitely not camera-worthy. Her husband insisted on taking the photo to laugh about in 20 years, and after thinking about it for a moment, she agreed that capturing the moment was more important than feeling insecure about her postpartum body.

Interestingly, I had a similar experience on Halloween.

As you all know, I'm at my heaviest weight in over eight years. Admitting it and writing about it on my blog helped a lot, but I still feel very insecure and embarrassed of my current body. I haven't been posting pictures of myself for a while--not only because I don't want to share them, but also because I've been avoiding being in front of the camera.

In the few pictures I've seen of myself, I've hardly recognized the girl in the photo. Granted, I'm nowhere near 253 pounds again; but I'd gotten used to my body being 130-145 pounds for most of the last eight years. I know that beating myself up over it won't help a damn thing; but, it's hard to ignore it, too.

On Halloween, I was at Brian and Becky's house for dinner and to chill in front of a fire in the driveway while passing out candy. Luke (my nephew) was absolutely adorable in his lederhosen, and he loved passing out candy. I stood up to take pictures as he dropped candy in a little bucket Brian was holding and pretending to trick-or-treat.

I said, "Trick-or-treat!" to Luke while holding out my hands for candy. Becky said she wanted to take a video of us, and I immediately said no way. Becky, who knows that I haven't been feeling great about my weight lately, insisted that I would want these memories with Luke one day.

I told myself that taking the video doesn't mean I have to share it; I can just have it for myself, to capture fun moments with my adorable nephew who is growing up way too fast. So, Becky took a video of my trick-or-treating with Luke, and sure enough, I looked at it critically when I got home. Instead of viewing it as a moment with Luke, I started picking apart my body.

Reading Andie's post this morning, I realized how shallow and ridiculous it is to focus on my body instead of the moment. Criticizing my looks now isn't going to change anything--it only succeeds in making me feel bad about myself. Looking at Andie's photo, I wasn't repulsed, critical, or judgmental at all. So why do I assume everyone will be if I post photos of myself after having gained a noticeable amount of weight?

I had no intention of sharing these, but Andie's post inspired me. Whether I look good or bad doesn't matter. The point is that I had fun with my nephew and my sister-in-law captured the moment.







I actually wrote a whole post about all of this before, and I do try to keep it in mind. Capturing memories are so important! Not just for ourselves, but for other people in the photo. I don't have many pictures of myself with my kids when they were little, because I was ashamed of my weight. And now my kids won't have many photos of us together, which is sad. My insecurity shouldn't keep them from preserving those memories.



One last thing...

I actually went for a run today! For no reason other than the fact that I wanted to. Contrary to popular belief, I did not feel weak or a lack of energy from fasting during the day. I felt so good that I was in the mood to go for a run!

I even ran four miles, which is the farthest I've run in a very long time. I felt great for about half a mile, and then my left knee started bothering me. I have NO idea why. The only thing I could possibly think of was that I banged it pretty hard on the corner of the coffee table a few days ago (it left a nasty bruise).

I kept hoping that my knee would feel better if I just "ran through it", but that never happened. And it's been pretty sore the rest of the day. I'm super bummed! I felt so good about being out on a run today--the weather was perfect and I was feeling good about myself from doing the intermittent fasting. I'm hoping the knee issue was just a random occurrence. I'd like to go out again soon :)


8 comments:

  1. I never really minded being in pictures when I was heavy. I guess I thought more about having the memories. So I have tons of comparison photos. Lol I have shown them to coworkers now that didnt know me back then and at first they didn't even recognize it's me.

    Another thought about your current pics. I get that you are heavier that you want to be and uncomfortable in your clothes, but in your pics you just look normal. :)

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  2. I have no idea why you don't like your body(well, yes I do because I suffer from the same). I teach in an urban middle school and the bigger the butt, the better! I love this new love of bigger bodies that are youth are embracing. Thank you for sharing, being brave and enjoying the moment instead of the bad feeling a picture of us brings. I also am trying intermittent fasting.

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  3. Thanks for sharing your post Katie. My weight is up too, in fact, I not only do not want to be in front of a camera, I cannot get on the scale to establish my starting point- I am terrified of the number that I will see. What do you or others do about being fearful of the number on the scale? I know I need to get on the scale, I have to begin again and how else do I measure my progress? Yes, measurement and looser clothes are great measures too, but at the end of the day, it is the number on the scale that defines whether I have been successful or not. Sigh.

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  4. Katie, I’m really interested to hear how this experiment goes for you, and I’m wondering- what have you read or what would you recommend someone read if they’re interested in giving this a try?

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  5. You are ADORABLE. I know it's hard to embrace when it's ourselves, but you look great!

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  6. Thanks for sharing the photos and your experiment with IF. I am planning to start any day now -- I've been sick so just waiting to feel a little better (already not eating much and feeling queasy).

    And I am totally wishing for an Instant Pot with slow cooker after reading about your cooking style.

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  7. Please realize that with IF it's so important to eat ALL your calories in the day or really you aren't doing the fasting correct. If you are supposed to eat 1500 calories, you need to eat them all or you are starving yourself.

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    Replies
    1. I'm not sure where you got the idea that I'm starving myself, but I am eating probably about 1800 calories a day. I'm not counting them, but having counted for so long, it's my best guesstimate.

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