Wednesday, June 26, 2013

On the right track

For the first time in weeks (maybe even a couple of months), I wasn't dreading getting on the scale for my Wednesday Weigh-in this morning. I was 100% on track all week long.


See what happens when I don't go over my PointsPlus for the week? According to the Quantum scale, I'm 0.2 pounds below my goal weight (which I thought I set as 133). That surprised me, so when I stepped on my trusty old scale to see the actual number, it was 134, which is more realistic. The first time I set the Quantum scale, it was at 134, so I wonder if that's the number it's set at right now. Regardless, my weight is down from last week, and I'm happy with that!

I finished the week with a balance of 0 PointsPlus (meaning I ate all of my PP, but I didn't go over). The little bet I had with my sister helped me a lot! We both stayed on track all week, so neither of us ended up having to pay out (which was the goal). This week was just what I needed to get (and stay) on track. Once I have a streak going, it's much easier to stick with it.

I tried something new with my PointsPlus this week, and I think it helped quite a bit with staying on track. Before the week even started, I divided up my 49 weekly PointsPlus to allow for 7 every day. That way, instead of aiming for 26 per day, I would aim for 33. Then, I used my activity PP as "bonus" points, to fit in a couple of spontaneous treats. My week was much more consistent that way:

Wed: 33
Thu: 33
Fri: 33
Sat: 54
Sun: 33
Mon:45
Tue: 39

I'm going to do the same thing this week, too, because it worked out really well. I wasn't hungry, I was able to fit in some treats, and I felt satisfied all week long.

Today was a rest day, and I really was pretty lazy all morning. I finished another Lisa Gardner book ("Hide"). Conveniently, the book of hers that I had requested at the library ("Alone") just came in, so I picked that one up today. Now I can start the series from the beginning. I'm glad I found a series that keeps me interested!

This afternoon, I did some chores around the house that I really had been dreading. Organizing DVDs, dusting behind the TV, and cleaning the cat hair off of the cat tree (fun!). I've been in an organizing mood for some reason, so I'm going to take it one room at a time and get my house in order.

I've been having a rough couple of weeks with my anxiety and depression. I've been feeling pretty down for no reason at all. This happens to me a few times a year, and now I've learned to just ride it out, knowing I will feel better soon. But it still makes me not want to do anything; even blogging is hard, because I just don't feel like I have anything to write. My "normal" self loves to write about anything and everything, as uninteresting as it may be to others; but when I'm in a funk like this, I just have a hard time writing anything at all.

Normally, I probably wouldn't have even brought it up, but I've gotten a lot of e-mails from readers who appreciate the fact that I write openly about depression, because they deal with it, too. It's kind of ironic, though, because writing about my anxiety (and depression) causes me anxiety--I get nervous to post about it! But I almost always feel better when I do. Hopefully I'll be back to my normal self soon; the fact that I've been eating better this week will probably help.

I really don't want to end this on a negative note, so here is a picture I took of Phoebe and Estelle. They were both looking at each other (and swatting at each other) with their heads turned upside-down. I still can't figure out if they are enemies or BFF's...


27 comments:

  1. Don't worry - you are definitely not alone regarding the anxiety and depression. It happens to me every so often, too. The way I get through it is by never forgetting that it WILL end and I will feel better eventually. It's just too bad that I started binge eating in one of my depressed phases... but each day is better than the last and I know that I have it in me to stop binge eating!

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  2. Perhaps your anxiety and depression is being brought on due the constant guilt you have been having about your weight going up and eating over your allotted points. Sounds like you feel out of control so you get depressed and anxious. Probably why you are feeling in the mood to organize lately too...you want to get control back of your life because you feel like you are spiraling out of control.

    You definitely put a lot of emphasis on how much you eat and if you meet the required number of points every day. Seems like a really tough way to live your entire life from here on in. :-(

    Maybe ease up on yourself a bit. Your scale weight is NOT your worth. Focus on what a great Mom and runner you are instead. :-)

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  3. Thank you for posting even when you don't feel like it. I really enjoy reading your blog everyday. I think your readers appreciate your honesty and your sharing of your successes and your struggles. I think it helps us see we don't have to be "perfect" to accomplish things. I found summer hard when my kids were younger and we were home all day together too. I really found that I had to get them out of the house everyday for my own sanity and theirs. It really helped if I could team up with other stay-at-home moms (my unofficial co-workers) and have something to do each day. Maybe community pool twice a week, playground and picnic once a week, library once a week, something that cost money once a week (indoor play place, zoo, etc.) Meeting different friends different days gave us all something to look forward to. Then coming home to veg out, clean and cook dinner seemed easier when we were all in better moods. Anyway, that was just my experience. By the way, you inspired me to start WW yesterday!

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    1. I just wanted to add to my earlier post. When my kids were little, I had memberships to many fun places: zoo, science museum, local amusement park, indoor tot play place, YMCA, etc. (some I would renew yearly, others I just had one year), Plus I did Mommy and Me classes, MOMS Club, and MOPS. I found them to be very worth the cost, (A lot of times family members even gave us memberships as family Christmas gifts.) Another blog that I follow, just had a post on this topic, so I thought I would share it with you and your readers. She goes into lots of detail about how she does the same thing. http://www.funcheaporfree.com/

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    2. I like the idea of doing something different with the kids every day! Thanks for the link :)

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  4. Thank you for articulating what may trigger your depressed or anxiety. I've struggled with this especially the last two weeks, it's summer with lots of sunshine and that in itself makes me feel even more guilty! Heavy duty organizing, exercising help, so does reading your daily blog. I call it internal chatter and I sure wish I had an off switch when all the chatter I hear is what I'm not doing or not at my perceived best.

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  5. I was going to suggest something similar to Laura. I generally find the first two weeks of summer to be an adjustment (meaning I get cranky). It seems illogical because it is a happy transition - more freedom, less scheduling... Still though, it changes the "rhythm" of my days.

    I understand your emphasis on points and weigh ins. That is what works for you. And after all, this is a weight maintenance blog.

    On a random note, have you read or heard much about Crossfit? Any thoughts?

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    1. I haven't really taken interest in Crossfit, so I don't know a lot about it. Ada, from my Ragnar team, does it and really loves it. Crossfit seems to have its own very tight-knit community.

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  6. Katie--You rock!
    I appreciate your honesty and you are an inspiration. It gets hard sometimes being a mom and dealing with all the struggles that come with a being a woman, but you do a great job at balancing everything. Just hang in there and the depression will pass. At least you recognize it and that is a step towards moving out of it :)

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  7. Sounds like you had a nice day.

    I find when I am depressed and anxious it is usually made much much worse when I feel like I have no control in my life. Often not feeling in control can be cured by getting myself together and following my diet and exercise plan(like that is an easy answer--lol). It is totally a vicious cycle!! I think that we are a lot alike personality wise,based on how you describe yourself. Don't be hard on yourself--you are amazing!!

    http://callitserendipity1.blogspot.ca/

    Thank you for sharing your story :)

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  8. Congrats on staying in your point allowance! And your sister. Sometimes it's harder than it should be. I have stayed perfectly on track for four days now and it's amazing how much better I feel and that the scale notices as well!

    It's good to talk about the negative as well as positive. I have been feeling off recently. I call if "offwee" I used to know what it was supposed to mean, but to me it just means in a funk. You'll be feeling better soon!

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  9. Congrats on getting back to your goal weight!! I've been in a funk lately too, gained a few pounds in the past few weeks and am trying to get back on track....I need to start running in the morning because it is so hot here in California now! (about 75 to 80 degrees after I get off work)

    BTW I don't know how you are able to do your chores and read a book after starting to watch Pretty Little Liars....I discovered it almost 2 weeks ago and am now almost finished with season 2!! I hate how its so addicting but I can't stop! I even had to catch up on your blog for the past week since all I did was watch the show...then I read you started watching it! Glad you can keep your viewing in check, unlike me!

    -Allison

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    1. As a fellow PLL watcher, when I saw your name I thought it would've been funny if you signed it:

      --A

      :)

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    2. Hahahaha, I love your thinking, Rebecca ;)

      Allison, I have been watching WAY TOO MUCH of Pretty Little Liars. It's embarrassing to admit I'm already in Season 2. I finally decided I needed to take a break from it so I could save it for the treadmill.

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  10. Great job on the weight loss!

    Back in my WW days, I used the "Wendie Plan" on alternate weeks. Have you heard of this plan? I'd link it but my tablet isn't cooperating.

    I think I have a good guess as to why your anxiety has risen lately. Try to relax! Enjoy the summer and your kids!!

    Keep up the good work :-)

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  11. I look forward to your posts everyday. Thank you for keepin' it real and sharing your life with us!!

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  12. I have found that when we are in control with our eating(like you were this week) we are usually more in control and organized in the rest of the aspects of our lives... maybe that is why you are in an organizing mood!

    Oh and I LOVE LOVE your blog, read it everyday!

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    1. That makes a lot of sense! Usually my eating and my cleaning/organizing are parallel with each other.

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  13. Hi Katie,
    I'm sorry you've been feeling more down lately. Please don't worry about sharing that here... we love to hear what is really going on with you. We like that you're so real on your blog! I definitely get the mood ebb-and-flow, and I think the mindset of "just riding it out" is helpful.

    Hang in there!

    Jen

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  14. I understand what you're going through and hope you find your way through it soon!

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  15. I divide up my 49 points too, I find it seems to make me less obsessed with food. By including them, they are just part of the day and it seems like it makes life easier, I love a big breakfast and this allows me to add that extra point or two into that meal, and then a snack or so later. And like you say then the activity points are bonus ones that I may or may not touch, but if I want that little treat, they aren't so scary to my weight. It's kept me maintaining now for almost a year.
    Thankyou for your honesty in the ups and downs in your life. I think we all deal with it in different levels and you help with realizing it's not just "me".

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    1. I know exactly what you mean about being less obsessed with food. I've noticed that in a big way this week, and it's been nice! :)

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  16. As a mental health nurse, it bothers me when people try to put a REASON on why they (or more often, why OTHERS) are depressed. There's a tendency to look at people are depressed and thing, "Really? What do THEY have to be depressed about? They have ..... (insert any number of things here: nice home, good job, beautiful children, perfect body, gorgeous hair, money, supportive husband, etc., etc., etc.) The truth is.... there doesn't have to be a REASON to be depressed, even severely depressed or suicidal, even. Depression is a brain chemistry thing.... it doesn't usually (although it CAN) have anything to do with circumstances, or life stressors (although these can certainly contribute to depression, but are not usually the sole reason for prolonged, sustained depression).

    Sorry... I just feel the need to educate people that there doesn't have to be a REASON to be depressed.... some people just are.

    Love your blog, Katie. And love that you are real enough to share that life isn't always rainbows and unicorns, and that's okay.

    ~~Aundrea

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    1. Thanks, that was helpful to me.

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    2. Thanks Aundrea! This is something that was hard for me to explain to my family. I've had depression since I was about 11 years old, and my family just didn't understand why I couldn't "snap out of it". They said I had nothing to be depressed about. I still don't think they really understand (Jerry does, but that's it), but it helps ME to know that it's not something in my control. Knowing that it's physiological helps me to get through my bad days, as well.

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  17. Like everyone else has said, I am glad you write/wrote about how you feel. And I really like what Aundrea wrote. I get the same feelings and I guess most of the time I just put it down to being "hormonal".

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  18. I'm sorry you've been depressed. I go through it pretty often, but usually it's just a bad couple days here and there. I also have a few times a year where I feel off for a while. I hate those times. I really hope you're feeling better now. I've been on vacation, so I am catching up on your blog. :)

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