Recent Thoughts About Weight Watchers (and my new favorite food log app!)

Thank you all for the sympathy (and empathy!) on my last post. I'm feeling better about it all today--just trying to deal with one situation at a time. Why does it seem that all the stressful situations happen all at once? Chances are, in a month, I'll feel bored without having all kinds of things going wrong ;)

Like I said yesterday, I'm remembering now why I quit doing Weight Watchers and started counting calories instead. I made the switch from Weight Watchers to calorie counting in 2015, I think.

I certainly don't love counting anything at all--I wish I could eat intuitively and be happy with that. But my emotional eating (stress) makes me eat way too much. So, I think in order to lose this extra weight and maintain the weight loss, I'll always need to track my calories.

Lately, I've been attempting Weight Watchers, but I only count a few times a week (not deliberately--I do plan to track daily). Then I get stressed out about something and derailed from WW. So, here are some thoughts that I've noted since I stated counting Points again...

(To be clear, I'm following the older Flex Plan, counting PointsPlus; not Smart Points.)

*I'd actually forgotten the PointsPlus values for most foods, which was interesting. After counting them for so long, I thought I'd never forget!

*I had to calculate the PointsPlus in my recipes (thankfully, I had the recipes stored in Fat Secret, so I already had the nutrition info calculated--I just had to convert it to PointsPlus).

*I've been tracking calories as well as PointsPlus, simply because it's easier for me and I wanted to do a comparison. I used to think that WW was easier, but now it just seems like a hassle.

*I'm glad I was keeping track of both calories and PointsPlus, because I discovered why sticking with Weight Watchers was so difficult. I was getting less than 1200 calories per day when sticking with my PointsPlus allowance! I even used activity PointsPlus and my calorie count was very low.

*When calorie counting, I used to spend about 300 calories on breakfast, 400-500 calories on lunch, and 500 calories on dinner (plus my bedtime treat, which was usually 200-400 calories). When I lost quite a bit of weight (going from 160 to 121 by calorie counting), I was averaging just under 1,600 calories per day. I didn't feel hungry or deprived. (Here is a detailed post about that.)

*I noticed that when I try to stick with PointsPlus, I'm not as satisfied with my food because I'm purposefully choosing lower fat/lower calorie foods. Personally, I enjoyed calorie counting because I liked having smaller portions of richer foods more than bigger portions of lower fat foods.

*I bought some Smart Ones and Lean Cuisines because they are convenient and fast and easy for my lunches. I usually have one with a piece of fruit. They aren't filling at all! (Even though this lasagna looks NOTHING like the photo, it surprisingly tasted really good; it was just way too small.)

When I used to eat frozen meals before for lunch (counting calories), I would have the Stouffer's ones--they are heartier and more filling.

*To increase my calorie intake without going over my PointsPlus allowance, I ate several fruits and vegetables, but I didn't really want them. I like to eat a piece of fruit once or twice a day, but I don't have the appetite to eat five or six pieces. Also, if I ever want to try to eat intuitively, I don't want to make myself eat things "just because" right now.

Which leads me to my new favorite app...

A blog reader, Jen, emailed me about an app to keep track of calories (along with ALL of the macronutrients, micronutrients, vitamins, and everything you can think of). Since I'm such a numbers person, I downloaded the free version and gave it a try. It's called Cronometer. You don't even have to use the app--there is a web version, too.

I LOVE IT.

More than I liked My Fitness Pal, more than Fat Secret, more than all the other apps I've tried. The database is fantastic, storing recipes is super easy, it's a very clean looking app without bright colors and flashy things.

I never thought I'd be interested in this, but I love seeing the nutrition analysis as I enter foods. I can easily see what vitamins and minerals I'm getting a lot of and what I'm lacking in--something I've never really cared to look at before, but having it so easily available at a glance actually made me want to choose healthier foods.

For instance, I might see that I'm really lacking fiber after breakfast and lunch, so I'll try to choose to make something with more fiber for dinner (likely something with beans).

You can connect the app to devices (like my Garmin!) to keep track of exercise as well.

My very favorite part of the app, though, and what sets it apart from other apps I've used, is that when you enter a recipe, it keeps track of the weight of all the ingredients in grams--this is the BEST because there is no dividing recipes into four equal portions or whatever when you're done cooking. The app calculates how many grams the entire recipe weighs, and you can vary portion sizes however you want...

I can just fill my plate or bowl with however much I want to eat, and weigh it on the food scale. Then I just enter the weight of my portion, and it calculates the nutrients in that portion. In most cases, I've been able to do that with particular foods on other apps, but never for recipes.

(In the photo above, I selected "1 serving" which is 376 grams. But you can change that to any amount of grams you want without having to mess around with the number of servings.) I LOVE not having to equally portion out dinner before eating, just so I can get an accurate calorie count.

More screen shots from the nutrition in the recipe shows how many nutrients you can view:

The free version of the app is totally fine for everything I need, but I did end up buying the premium version for one reason--Jerry can "friend me" to view and track my recipes on his own (free version) app. So when I make dinner, he just searches for the recipe like any other food, and my recipe will show up. He enters his portion and adds it to his log. It's a huge convenience/time saver for him.

Once I tried out that app, I was hooked. I know I've been so back and forth about everything having to do with weight loss lately. I was really excited about trying Weight Watchers again, but that fizzled out quickly when I started remembering the things I really didn't like about it. I was bored with calorie counting, which is why I wanted to try WW again in the first place.

But this Cronometer app helped a lot because it's new to me (which keeps me from being bored, at least for a while) and because I found I really like seeing the analysis of my diet at a glance. It actually makes me WANT to eat healthier.

I've still been stress eating, but I've actually been tracking it anyway. And some days I do really well; others, not so much. Either way, it's been fun using the new app. (Thank you, Jen!)

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When it rains, it pours...

Ugh, what a super stressful weekend!

I wrote on Friday about how my car just quit working on me. As I wrote, I was on the phone (on hold) with Delta, hoping to cancel our trip to San Francisco next month. With the coronavirus, it just doesn't feel like a good time to go anywhere--maybe it's an overreaction, but my gut feeling was just telling me not to go. I also knew that there was a cruise ship with several cases of the virus that was going to be docking in San Francisco.

As I was on hold, I sent a direct message on Twitter to Delta, and they responded within 20 minutes. The whole thing was resolved in less than 10 minutes after that! They said that they would waive the fee to change our tickets--so we can use the money I paid for our tickets any time until January 31st--and we can change the destination to wherever we want to go. So, we don't get a refund, but we have "Delta credit" for when we do go on a trip.

I felt relieved after that. I canceled our hotel and our fishing charter, and managed to get a refund on our tickets to Alcatraz. I'm bummed about the trip, but I really don't think I'd be able to enjoy it with everything going on.

And ESPECIALLY after this weekend. It's a good thing we canceled the trip, because we certainly need the money now.

We had to get my car towed to the dealership, which was $160. Then there was the diagnostic test ($150), which just basically said to do more testing--which involved a $650 electrical job. I was super mad and frustrated about it. The car is only four years old and why do we have to pay for all of this out of pocket?

Photo credit: Jerry Foster (he saw me typing this and insisted that I credit him! haha)

I looked into trading the car in instead of fixing it; it looked like the cost of fixing it would be $2,000+. That's insane!

Meanwhile, I had to rely on Noah's friend's mom to help out with the kids--getting them to school on Friday and again on Monday. My mom called her insurance company to resume insurance on her car so that I can use her car until she gets home from vacation.

I wanted to start my walking program again on Monday, because I felt about 99% better than I did after I fell off the ladder. So I took Joey for a walk, going the long way to my parents' house. My hip was popping the whole time and ever since then, my knee feels really unstable and stiff. Awesome.

I don't remember if I mentioned it, but several weeks ago, someone stole my debit card numbers and used them at a Starbucks and a Kohl's in California. People suck.

Last night, I was (literally) crying to Jerry about this whole car situation, when I got a text from Discover saying that someone in New York was trying to charge a purchase at McDonald's, and did I approve it?

I replied "No", and then I just totally lost it. I felt like my stress balloon just popped, right in front of my face, startling me into another ball of stress. (Today, I had to cancel our Discover cards and get new ones--awesome.)

I hated that we had to spend money on a stupid car (whether it was fixing mine or trading in). I really want a new front porch. I've been wanting one for about five years, but I always put it off because someone in this family needs something that costs money. I thought for sure that this spring would be the spring that I'd finally get my porch! (I want a concrete one, otherwise I'd just build it myself.)

I am sure that I'm being a huge baby about it, but I'm just tired. I'm tired of driving all day long. Of  helping to fix everybody else's problems. Of not having any help when I really feel like I need it. Of feeling so positive and optimistic for a moment, only to have one more thing rain down.

And Weight Watchers... I'll save that for another post.

Let's just say this: This my lunch. This is my life.

Today, we made a decision about the car. We decided to trade it in and get a new one. The cheapest Jeep model we could get was another Renegade (we really wanted a Jeep--our Patriot has lasted 10 years without any problems). I told Jerry that he should get a truck--something he's always wanted--but he insisted that he'll wait, that he wants me to get a reliable car.

I felt horribly guilty and not at all excited about getting a new car. I was super stubborn and probably not the nicest person to deal with today. I made up my mind the very maximum I was willing to spend, and I told the salesman that number today. When he realized I was not going to budge, he took my offer to his supervisor, who eventually approved it.

So, we got a 2020 Jeep Renegade (in orange, my favorite color). It has four-wheel drive, which was something I said I was absolutely going to insist on when we got a new car (living in Michigan during the winter, it's pretty much a given that you need four-wheel drive).

Jerry was more excited than I was about getting the car, which made me feel even worse. When we left, I was driving the new car out of the lot, when I noticed Jerry on my left taking a video. Someday, I want him to get the truck of his dreams! (It looks kind of red in the photo, but it's orange. This is a screen shot of Jerry's video.)

I will admit, the new one is nice! It has heated seats and a steering wheel (which is SO great for someone like me who is constantly cold). Keyless entry and push-button start (so weird getting used to that!). And I can use some app on my phone to do all sorts of things like check the fuel levels and even unlock the car from anywhere--still figuring that out.

On the way home from the dealership, when I only had about 10 miles on the odometer, a car cut me off on the expressway. A small stone flew up and at my windshield, and made a small crack right in my line of vision.

SERIOUSLY?

Yes. Story of my life.

Eh, I don't even care at this point. I just want to get back to normalcy, back to trying to do something to take care of myself. Over the last 18 months or so, I learned just how much stress makes me overeat. I gained more weight in the last 18 months than I have in the last 9 years. I really need to work on stress management.

A couple other things of note:

Peanut Butter & Co. actually got in touch with me after I wrote the post about their peanut butter issues. I learned that they'd gotten several complaints about the texture/taste of their peanut butter, like I shared here, and was told that they took that into consideration and changed their recipe again. So, they are supposedly sending me a few jars of peanut butter... I really hope that it's as good as it was in the past! I will update after I get and taste them.

I finally got to use the table saw I got for Christmas! It's been so nice the last week or so, I've been spending time in the garage. I will post pictures when it's completely done, but I have been working on a small end table (which I will use use in the bathroom to replace a cheap store-bought one).  Using the table saw isn't easy--it has a learning curve--but I'm getting used to it, and I LOVE IT so far.

Anyway, I will try and write about Weight Watchers tomorrow. Counting Points has made me remember why I quit doing it in the first place!

Thanks for the kind words yesterday. I'm really trying to feel more positive...

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I just can't right now

Today was a really bad today. This whole weekend sucked, actually. I don't know why stressful things all come at me at one time, but the timing of my car quitting on me Friday couldn't have been worse.

I'm going to write more about it, but I am emotional right now because I'm stressed to my max limit, so I'm just going to go to bed and write about it tomorrow. Hopefully feeling better.

To end on a positive note, though, I took Joey for a walk in the 65-degree temps today! It was SO nice outside. I started my walking program again, hoping that I was healed from my fall off the ladder (turns out, I am not... but I'll write about that later).

I let Joey off the leash when we were at the lake, and he loved running along the shore. And, of course, getting in the water at the boat launch!

Whenever we are near water, Joey likes me to throw rocks into the water. It's an OBSESSION of his. He will stare at me with a goofy grin until I cave in and throw some pebbles. He leaps into the air like he's going to chase after it, but he turns around immediately and stares me down again until I throw another.

It makes no sense. But I indulge him anyways, because how could you NOT, when looks at you like this?

Okay, I'm going to bed. Hopefully, I'll be in a better mood tomorrow.

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My Earliest Childhood Memory (a writing prompt)

My earliest childhood memory.

Once in a while a certain smell or sound will make me feel a sense of déjà vu, but I don't actually remember a lot of my childhood. And a lot of what I do remember could just be my mind playing tricks on me.

However, when thinking of my earliest childhood memory, I really think that I remember it correctly. People have told me about the situation itself, but I do believe I remember the event leading up to it.

I was two years old. I remember that I was sitting on a "bike trailer" that my dad had made. You know the wooden flat bed trailers that hook up to cars or trucks? Well, my dad made one to hook up to bikes. I was only two years old at the time, so I wasn't riding a bike, but Jeanie and Brian were 10 and 8 respectively.

This is what I looked like when I was two years old:

I don't remember who was on the bike when I was sitting on the trailer (if anyone). We weren't moving anywhere. We were just sitting in the driveway, and other kids (my cousins) were riding bikes up and down the street of our neighborhood.

My cousin, Kim, was babysitting me and my siblings.

I was sitting on the bike trailer eating a piece of cheese when one of my cousins (I remember who, but I don't want to say in case I remember this incorrectly) rode his bike up to the trailer and bumped his tire against the edge of the trailer.

This is where my memory stops, and the words that others have told me begin.

I started choking on a piece of cheese. Kim, who was babysitting, was actually in nursing school at the time. She ran to the neighbors to call an ambulance, but in the meantime, she worked on trying to dislodge the cheese that I was choking on.

I actually passed out because the cheese was lodged in my trachea for so long.

From what I was told, Kim managed to dislodge the cheese and I was (obviously) okay. I don't know how long I was unconscious. Like I said, all I remember was the moment right before it happened.

Kim went on to become an amazing OB nurse. She had three daughters, and I was very close to Kaitlin, her first. This photo below is of my (favorite) Aunt Mickey, Kim, me, and Kaitlin, shortly after Kaitlin was born.

Another memory I have from very early on was being at Kim's house and she gave me vanilla yogurt with blueberries, and I loved it. As you know, I despise yogurt, but that's the only time I can remember actually enjoying it. Just last week I was thinking about it, because Eli asked me to buy him some yogurt. I bought vanilla yogurt and a pint of blueberries.

I was very lucky while growing up--I didn't know death very well, because nobody close to me had ever died before. My grandma died from Alzheimer's when I was 17, but we weren't very close. Most of my memories of her are from when I was young--and even at that, I don't remember much. She lived in the house behind ours, and we used to watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy there in the evenings.

Kim died very young (she was in her early 40's). She had cancer. When she was diagnosed, it never occurred to me that she might die. I know it sounds cliché, but Kim was truly one of the nicest people on the planet. I've yet to meet anyone as kind-hearted as she was.

Kissing my friend Lance at Kim's wedding:

After I had Noah and discovered that I wasn't able to breastfeed (I never produced any milk), Kim was a big comfort to me. She was an OB nurse and I talked to her about the problems I was having while trying to breastfeed. It wasn't too long after that that she was diagnosed with cancer.

I love that she was the one who saved me from choking. I choked for a long time, and if she hadn't intervened, I wouldn't be here today. It's such a crazy thought. I sometimes wonder if she ever thought of it in the years after it happened.

Interestingly, another very early memory I have (I had to have been only 3-4 years old at the time) is when my dad saw a mother in a panic on the side of the road because her son was choking. We were just driving by, but my dad saw her and stopped the car. When we pulled over, my dad ended up shaking the boy upside down (which was "normal" for helping young choking victims at the time). He dislodged the object (I think it was a hard candy) and we went on our way.

To this day, I have a huge fear of choking. Not just for myself, but for others around me. When Luke and Riley come over, I cut up their food so small that the minuscule pieces probably look ridiculous. And I am constantly reminding Noah and Eli to chew their food well.

Ironically, when Eli was a toddler, he choked on his food a LOT. I can't even tell you how often I had to do the heimlich maneuver on him. When we took him to a pediatric dentist, he said that Eli's molars weren't coming together, so he couldn't thoroughly chew his food.

Eli had to get braces at three years old to correct his bite so that he could chew his food properly.

Choking is scary stuff! It seems like nobody ever DIES from choking (I, personally, don't know anyone who has died from it), but there were over 5,000 people in the United States to die from choking in 2018. It's such a tragic death, if you think about it.

Anyway, the whole point of this post was my earliest childhood memory. Even though choking doesn't seem like a good memory, I don't feel badly about it. I remember having fun with my siblings and cousins that day, and I have the knowledge that my cousin, Kim, saved me. She's been gone for a long time, but I still think of her often.

It's kind of odd, the things we remember from when we were young. I just have a series of quick flashbacks. Nothing very long, but more like still photos when I think of my earliest memories.

If you have early childhood memories, no matter how random, please share! I find it so interesting.

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One of the Most Surreal Experiences of My Life: Guts to Glory

Yesterday, something popped up on my "Facebook Memories" that made me stop and think back to what a crazy experience I had back in 2014.

In 2009, I never, ever, EVER would have believed you if you told me that this would happen in just 5 years. In 2009, I was 253 pounds (my heaviest non-pregnant weight). My only exercise consisted of walking around my house doing laundry, cooking, etc.

I had never run a single mile in my entire life (I always got out of it in gym class). I hated exercise SO much. I dreamed of losing weight, but I wanted to do it without exercising. I basically wanted to go to sleep one night and just wake up skinny.

I remember asking my friend Renee about her running--I specifically asked, "So, if you were to just go out and run one mile, would that be easy? What would that feel like?" I was stunned when she seemed sort of taken aback, replying, "Yeah, I could do that. I wouldn't be out of breath or anything, unless I was running really hard. But running a mile isn't hard."

She seemed almost embarrassed (I guess "humble" would be the right word) about the fact that running a mile was no big deal to her. I, on the other hand, was speechless. "Seriously, you can run a mile like it's no big deal?!" I asked her.

It was Renee that started me on my running journey. She saw that I had written "Enter a 5K race and RUN it" on my list of 30 goals by the time I'm 30 years old. I honestly never really expected to do it, but since I love writing goals, it made sense at the time.

After seeing that on my list, she followed up with a card saying that she was supportive of me and would help me prepare for the race; and that she'd even run it with me. I faked the excitement; I was honestly feeling sort of frustrated that I would actually have to follow through. I couldn't make excuses for this one.

But I didn't want to let her down. So, I signed up for a 5K that was in October 2010, and I started training in May 2010 after I walked a half-marathon in Indy.

I was able to run the 5K distance within weeks (I think about 6 weeks?). I wasn't fast, but I was able to do it. I kept training, going farther and faster as time went on. I ran my first half-marathon in May 2011, and my first full marathon in May 2012.

Who was that person?! Certainly not me.

So, imagine how shocking it was on March 6, 2014, to see my photo on a full page spread in April 2014's edition of RUNNER'S WORLD MAGAZINE.

It was SO surreal. How on earth had I gone from 253 pounds and not exercising at all to 133 pounds and running marathons? That alone was mind-blowing, but then to be in RUNNER'S WORLD magazine? What!

RW sent a photographer all the way from Chicago to do a photoshoot. We went to my parents' house because they have a huge backroom that would give the photographer plenty of space.

My friend Stephanie, who does photography as a hobby (she's amazing!) was very interested in watching, so I invited her over to watch. She took some pictures during the process, which were pretty fun to see--the side by side of the behind-the-scenes vs. what was in the magazine (or at least considered for the magazine).

Here are a few:

Runner's World had sent me a bunch of clothes and even shoes to try on and use for the photoshoot. Whatever I wore for the shoot, they let me keep. It was so exciting!

The photographer said that RW wanted photos of me being "serious" and "strong"--not smiling. I cannot take a picture like that! I remember at my wedding, the photographer said the same thing--he tried to get some serious photos, but I just can't do it. I look ridiculous when I don't smile.

Anyway, here are some other photos that were shot that day:

I just cannot believe that this all happened. Looking back on it, it feels like a dream. Runner's World magazine is very well-known in the running community, and to say that I was blessed enough to share my store in it? Well, I just can't express the words.

Here is the article (my pages, anyway). You can click on these to enlarge--hopefully they'll be readable!

It's been six years, and so much has happened since then. But I am so so so grateful to have had this experience!

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RECIPE: Peanut Butter-Stuffed Chocolate Cookies

I'm not a baker. Like, in any sense of the word. I will admit that I'm a good cook, but when it comes to baking, I somehow mess up SOMETHING in the recipe and it doesn't turn out.

However, I managed to make some cookies that were actually amazing. I love the chocolate/peanut butter combination, and when I saw this recipe, I couldn't resist. It's like a peanut butter cup, only in cookie form. So perfect!

Anyway, when I do bake something that turns out delicious, it's worth sharing...

Here is a printer-friendly version of the recipe!

This recipe is originally from the Taste of Home Winning Recipes book.

Peanut Butter Stuffed Chocolate Cookies

1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 cup creamy peanut butter, divided
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup baking cocoa
1/2 tsp. baking soda
3/4 cup powdered sugar

In a large mixing bowl, cream butter, sugars, and 1/4 cup of the peanut butter. Add egg and vanilla; mix well. Combine the flour, cocoa, and baking soda; add to creamed mixture and mix until uniform. The dough will be thick. Divide the dough into 24 pieces, and flatten each piece into a small circle, about 3-inches in diameter.

In a mixing bowl, blend powdered sugar with remaining 3/4 cup peanut butter until smooth. Again, dough will be thick. Roll into 24 balls, about 1 inch diameter, and flatten slightly.

Place one peanut butter ball on each chocolate circle; bring edges of chocolate dough over to completely cover peanut butter ball (dough may crack; reshape cookies as needed).

Place cookies seam-side down on un-greased baking sheets. Flatten each cookie very slightly with your hands or the bottom of a glass.

Bake at 375 degrees F for 7-9 minutes or until set. Remove to wire racks to cool. Make sure you cool completely before eating. Makes 2 dozen cookies.

And because I'm counting calories/WW PointsPlus, I actually calculated the info on these. Here ya go! This is the nutrition info for one cookie:

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When one light goes on, they all go on

I have had the most STRESSFUL day ever.

This morning, it was time to take the kids to school, and there was frost on my windows. So I started the car and then started scraping the windows, which took about three minutes.

When I got back in the car, Noah said that the car wasn't on. I was confused and said yes it was, as I put it in reverse and released the brake. I realized that just the battery was on. I was sure I had started it, but I don't know. Either way, I just shut it off and then tried to restart it and it wouldn't work. The battery was working, but the engine wouldn't turn over.

Then I shifted shifted it to park, shut off everything, and tried to start the car. Just the battery came on. Then my key was stuck in the ignition! I was halfway down the driveway, almost in the street, and since I couldn't get it started, I put the car in neutral to push it back up the driveway.

Well, it rolled backward a little, halfway into the street. I hit the brakes, but I had no way of getting it back into the driveway. The parking brake engaged, and then I was really screwed. With the parking brake on, I couldn't push it forward, even in neutral. I was literally halfway into the street (and my street is very narrow. Thankfully, we don't get much traffic.

I was panicked. I had to get the kids to school, but Jerry was at work and my parents were on vacation. It was my turn to carpool with Noah's friend, so I wasn't able to do that. I had Noah call them to let them know that my car was all messed up and I couldn't drive. I'm SO GRATEFUL that Noah's friends' mom was able to drive--she even went out of her way to pick up Noah and Eli in order to drop off Eli at school and then take Noah to school. The kids were 10 minutes late, so I felt really bad; but otherwise, they would have had to miss school.

After they left, I called my dad. He talked me through a lot--disconnecting the battery, trying all sorts of different things to get a response. There were so many indicator lights on!

I was watching YouTube videos about each problem I encountered, and one of them was helpful in manually shifting gears. After shifting gears, I was able to push it back up the driveway, but only a foot or two. I had a 2x4 board behind the tires to keep it from rolling back down.

My brother, Brian, came over to try to help. If for nothing else then to help me get it back in the driveway somehow. He couldn't figure out the problem, either. I got to play with Luke and Riley while he was messing around with the car, though. I gave Luke Eli's old iPod, and he uses it like a phone (he can send and receive text messages and FaceTime and all that, as long as he has wifi).

He took a selfie and sent it to me. So funny!

He FaceTimed my mom, which was funny to watch, too. I don't think he understands that she can see him, too, so my mom got lots of views of the ceiling and floor while he walked around talking to her, hahaha.

Riley was adorable, wanting to pet the cats and Joey. She used to be afraid of Joey, but Becky told me to start acting like everything was totally normal, and not to lock Joey in a bedroom or keep him away from the kids. It was instantaneous--the last time they came over, I didn't make any big deal at all about Joey being here, and the kids were totally calm around him. I'm glad that Riley's not afraid of him anymore.

Anyway, Brian couldn't figure out what the problem was, so we pushed the car into the street and then pushed it back into the driveway (horizontally, so it wouldn't be angled up the slope of my driveway).

Some of the indicator lights seem to show that what happened had something to do with shifting gears while the car wasn't started and the emergency brake went on. It then got "stuck" with the emergency brake on somehow.

I was outside from 7:10 until 1:15, other than the hour when Luke and Riley were here. I read the manual, watched YouTube, read forums, tried EVERYTHING I could possible think of, and it just seems like my car is totally screwed.

The car isn't under warranty (except for the engine) anymore. Getting it towed and then fixed is way too much money. I just don't know what to do. I'm trying to cancel our trip to San Francisco due to the coronavirus issue, but I've been on hold with Delta for an hour now. Estimated wait time is 3 hours, 38 minutes. Good grief. If we can cancel the trip, then we'll have the money for the car.

Today has just not been fun. I'm frustrated and stressed out.

Noah is going to be taking the city bus home from school--he's never done that before. I remember doing it a few times when I was his age, and I really should take advantage of it more often. The ride is only $1! He'll have two transfers, but they are super easy (it's not exactly a big city). Then they will drive him right to our house. It's a 30 minute drive by car, and it will obviously take a little longer to get home, but they will get him here for $1--I can't believe it. It costs me more than that for gas money.

Let's just hope I can get everything back to normal soon. I hate days like this!

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Peanut Butter & Co... What the heck? You're killin' me!

This is a super random, and probably dumb, post about peanut butter. Particularly some complaints I've had with a certain popular company--Peanut Butter & Co.!

For years, I have LOVED their peanut butter. My favorites are the White Chocolate Wonderful, the Dark Chocolate Dreams, and especially--my very favorite--Cinnamon Raisin Swirl (although I'd like it better if it didn't have the raisins! haha)

I really loved the consistency of the Cinnamon Raisin Swirl. It was thick, and it had a grainy texture (which was probably just sugar, but I'll deny that until the day I die).

They don't sell it around here anywhere that I could find, so I had to order it from Amazon. I never had a problem with it until my most recent orders over the last year or so. At first I thought I had a bad batch, but I have bought White Chocolate Wonderful, Dark Chocolate Dreams, and Cinnamon Raisin Swirl...

And ALL were terrible.

It's like PB&Co changed their recipe to add way more oil. The texture has gotten very runny, even after stirring it well. The color of the Cinnamon Raisin Swirl is much lighter (less cinnamon, maybe?) and it has practically no flavor except for oil. It also lacks the gritty texture that I loved.

I noticed that the label has changed, so I'm wondering if they changed the recipe right along with the label.

Aside from the fact that it tastes like nothing, I really hate the runny texture. You can't really spread it on anything, because it's so drippy. It's like it's almost to the melting point.

Opening the jars was the grossest part. There was SO MUCH oil! Like I said, I don't mind having to stir in oil on natural peanut butters. But this just looked terrible. It was all on one side. Who would pick this up in the store and want to buy it?! (Like I said I ordered online, and thankfully, Amazon gave me a refund. I can't eat this crap.)

The Dark Chocolate Dreams and White Chocolate Wonderful are pretty much the same--they have way too much oil and no flavor. I don't mind having to stir in the oil, but I've never had peanut butter this bad before!

It has the same runny texture, too:

Does anyone else notice a difference in the peanut butter over the last year or so? I buy the Dark Chocolate Dreams and the White Chocolate Wonderful from Kroger, and the Cinnamon Raisin Swirl from Amazon, so I know it's not just a particular store.

I LOVED these peanut butters (the old ones) so I really hope that I just got a bad (eight?) jars, hahaha. I give up. I'm not going to buy anymore, because I've thrown so much of it out.

I've also noticed a big difference in the texture of Justin's almond butter, but I can save that for another day. The texture is SO inconsistent. One jar will be incredibly runny and another will be way too dry and crumbly. That one is like dough--you could roll it around in your fingers!

Anyway, just curious if I was the only one having this problem. I'm sad--I don't eat peanut butter anymore.

(If, by chance, someone from Peanut Butter & Co. is reading this, would you please consider making Cinnamon Swirl--the same as (the old recipe of) Cinnamon Raisin Swirl, just without the raisins? I can't be alone in this request ;)  Please and thank you.

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