Binge eating

I woke up this morning feeling a little better about my choices last night at the restaurant. I still wish I had stuck with my plan, but I am glad that I at least accounted for the extra food I ate and calculated the points in it. And it wasn't a binge!

I had 60 minutes on the schedule today with tempo intervals:
15 minutes easy (6.0 mph)
5x (5 minutes hard 7.0 mph, 2 minutes easy 6.0)
10 minutes easy (6.0)

My knee hasn't given me any problems, but again, I decided to stop if it started hurting at all. As soon as I started the first tempo interval, I was tempted to take the speed down to 6.5; but I knew I was just being a baby, and that 7.0 was was a good tempo pace for me. So I sucked it up and did all of the intervals at 7.0.

I started to feel a little twinge in my knee after my last interval, so I called it quits instead of doing the 10 minutes at an easy pace. I haven't gotten to the point of actual pain--it's just a weird tight feeling that I can tell it will be painful if I keep running on it. So I'm going to take it easy (like I have been) and hopefully it won't get to the point of injury like it did last time when I ran through the pain.

When I uploaded the run from my Garmin, I saw that I almost hit a big running milestone today:

Look how close I am to 2,000 miles total! I'm pretty excited that I'll hit 1,000 miles this year, too. Running a thousand miles in a year is an (unofficial) goal of mine.

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Dr. Oz had a show about binge eating today, and it was really hard for me to watch. I could relate to the guests so much. My binge eating isn't nearly as severe as the guests on the show (anymore), but when I was obese, my binges were very similar. Dr. Oz showed some images of a person before and after a binge, and the huge mass you see on the "after" photo is actually the person's stomach:

As if that wasn't bad enough, I was completely SHOCKED when I saw the autopsy photo that Dr. Oz showed. He said it was a person who had binged just before dying--and the stomach was SO BIG that the tissue actually died. I even took a picture of the TV screen, because I just couldn't believe it:

That huge purple/blue thing is the person's stomach! I had no idea that a stomach could get so big. He said the intestines were basically suffocated from being crushed by the size of the stomach. The person actually died from a binge episode. That is VERY scary.

I'm absolutely terrified of posting what I'm about to post, but I think it may give some hope to people who have binge eating disorder. I am going to share an embarrassing journal entry from April 14, 2008--I wrote a tell-all, no-secrets entry about my binge eating. It's one of the most honest things I've ever written, and it makes me feel so ashamed when I read it.

I was in a very bad place when I wrote it, feeling like I had hit rock bottom. I was very ashamed to write it all down, and it's hard to read now that I've changed my lifestyle. Anyway, here is the post:

April 14, 2008

Every single night that I go to bed feeling full, I make promises to myself that I'm going to "do good" on the diet tomorrow and lose weight. I plan in my head how I'm going to do it--counting points or calories, or eating only when I'm hungry, or just eating healthy.  I go to bed disgusted with myself for being such a pig.

Lately I've noticed just how bad my food addiction has gotten. And it truly is an addiction. It has interfered with my life in ways that are totally embarrassing. I probably think about food 99% of the day. I even dream about it. When I wake up, I think about what I'm going to eat first. When I'm eating, I'm thinking about what I'm going to eat next.

Smiling, but completely unhappy with myself

And the worst part is (this is the embarrassing part that I've never told anyone) that this affects the type of mom I am. I honestly LOOK FORWARD to my kids going to bed (naptime and bedtime) so that I can binge. I even rush them into napping and the second they lie down, I rush to the kitchen to grab food to binge on in front of the TV. I even find myself getting mad at my kids if they don't fall asleep right away or if they wake up early, because it ends my binge.

I've also been hiding food lately. I know that I can "safely" binge in front of my husband, but I'm embarrassed about it now. If I think I hear him wake up while I'm eating (he works nights, so he sleeps during the day), then I'll hurry up and hide the food I'm eating.  I'll hide wrappers in the bottom of the trash so that he doesn't see it. 

I've been using my kids as an excuse to binge, too. I'll tell my husband that the kids want pizza for dinner or something, which is a big binge food for me. Or fast food. Or I'll make cookies "to spend time with the kids" and then eat the whole batch.

I wish I could be satisfied with just a small amount of something, but I get this urge to fill my mouth, chew really fast and swallow over and over again. And as much as my stomach hurts afterwards, I crave that full feeling in my stomach. When I even think about restricting food, I get very anxious.

Another thing I do is plan out binges in my head. I'll think about what I'm going to eat and then I just have to wait for the appropriate time (usually when the kids are asleep).  Once I've decided when I'm going to binge and on what, I get anxious--wanting to just do it now. It's like I can't do it fast enough.

During the binge itself, I just keep thinking, "Okay, what else can I eat?" and I eat until I'm so full I can't stand it. Afterwards, I get pissed at myself for doing it, and make promises to myself not to do it again. Then later, I think "Well, I already binged once today, I might as well do it again". I know what I'm doing could have serious consequences for me and my family, and I want to fix this. I just don't know how.

Revealing those secrets was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Reading that just makes me feel awful; but I am also very proud of myself for overcoming it. I saw what it was doing to me as a mother, and doing to my family, and I changed it. The main reason I changed my lifestyle was because I wanted to be a better mom to my boys.

Getting over the binge eating wasn't easy by any means. I had to learn other ways to relax and relieve anxiety.  And even now, sometimes my methods don't work, and I'll binge--but even the binges are different post-weight loss. I'm not secretive about it anymore, I don't buy the crappy binge food I used to, and I don't do it nearly as often as I used to. I am constantly thinking about what's best for my kids, and how I can be a good role model for them.

Anyway, posting this is extremely hard for me, so please be kind ;) I just want others who may be binge eaters to see that it IS possible to get better. It takes a lot of determination, but it's worth it! I am actually proud of the example I set for my kids now.

After completing my first marathon

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90-Day Dinner

I guess I spoke too soon yesterday when I said that I've always felt very safe in our neighborhood. Last night, my friend Andrea called me to tell me that there was an attempted child abduction near my neighborhood (in the same neighborhood that we found Eli's bike). There was a man in a white pick-up truck pulling a camper with Ohio plates who apparently tried to get a boy to get in the truck to give him a ride. An adult saw what was happening and stepped in, and the man sped off. I don't know any of this for sure, but these are the details that I was told.

So I talked to my kids last night about it, and told them what to do if they see the truck. I told them (once again) that they always need to stay together outside. I didn't want to scare them, but Noah was worried about it when he went to bed. Kids shouldn't have to worry about that stuff! The whole situation makes me sick to even think about.

With my knee pain yesterday, I decided that I really need to continue doing strength training. I haven't done much since I completed the Wii Active Challenge. Pete's boot camp class really kicked my ass last week, so I decided to do it on my own with the circuit workouts in his book (essentially the same thing we did at his class).

I went through the whole 60-minute circuit, and it was very tough! I was doing the beginner/week one circuit, and it actually gets progressively harder through the weeks. I'm going to do it on Tuesdays and Thursdays, the weekdays that I don't run; and then I'll still have Saturday and Sunday for rest days. I wasn't sure how many WW points that would let me earn, but when I put the info in, I got 10 points. I was happy with that!

After my workout, I went to Andrea's house for tea and chit-chat. I don't think we really talked all summer, so it was nice to catch up with her. 

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Jerry has been filling in as a supervisor at work a lot through the summer, and he will continue to do so for at least the next few months. Because of that, we were invited to a 90-day dinner--once employees reach the 90-day mark after they are hired, they get to go out to dinner, and the company pays for it. There are also some supervisors that go, which is why Jerry was invited. And everyone can bring a date. The last one we went to was Jerry's 90-day dinner back in 2002!

I was excited to go, because I knew it would be a lot of fun, but I was nervous about staying on track with my eating. It's so hard not to pig out when someone else is paying for it ;)  I looked up the menu online of the place we are going, and it looked like a seafood/steakhouse type restaurant, combined with a bar. Steak and tons of fried foods, beer, and desserts. The company let us order off the menu, rather than getting a catered meal for the group, which was good.

I decided that I would get cajun style salmon, with the vegetable of the day (green beans), salad with vinegar, and one piece of bread from the basket... plus 10 oz. of wine to drink. That would total 18 points. As hard as it was, I decided not to get dessert. I made the decision before I even left home, and I was determined to stick to it. I probably could have gotten dessert instead of wine, but it's hard to control myself when I eat dessert, so I think it would have been all over.

Well, I wasn't so good at sticking to my plan. When we got there, I ordered a glass of wine (which I believe was 5 oz). Then another. And I ordered a third by the time it was time to go sit at the tables (we had been at the bar). I ordered my salmon, like I had planned, but I wasn't counting on the appetizers being right in front of my face the entire time that we waited for our food! When Jerry wasn't looking (I told him to watch out of for me acting like a pig), I kept taking nachos off of the plate. I probably at about 10 nachos while we waited for our food.

Those were the appetizers sitting in front of us for about 20 minutes!

Once our food came, I ate a few bites, and then gave the rest of my salmon to Jerry, because I was just too full. But when they came around and asked about dessert, I ordered carrot cake (I swear, it was the wine talking!). I ate about 3/4 of the carrot cake, even though I was pretty full. So I ended up eating 52 of 26 points today (using 26 of my weekly points). But I guess that is what they are there for, so hopefully I didn't screw up too bad!

I should have stuck with my plan, but I was still controlled enough to not act like a complete pig. I left a few bites of carrot cake, and I only ate a few bites of my salmon. It could be worse... right? RIGHT?!

On our way home, we saw a couple of police cars that had pulled over the creeper in the truck! So hopefully, he will be gone and we won't have to worry about him.

It was a great evening, but I'm kind of mad at myself for not sticking to my plan. However, I'm not giving up! I had enough points to cover the crappy food I ate, so I'm just going to count it and move on.

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I almost forgot! The winner of the Muesli Fusion giveaway is:

Wendy, please e-mail me at SlimKatie (at) runsforcookies (dot) com with your shipping address so I can pass it along to the people at Muesli Fusion. Enjoy!

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Stolen

We had a bit of a dramatic evening yesterday. My kids were taking their showers and getting ready for bed when my parents stopped over on their bikes and asked if the boys wanted to go for a bike ride with them. I told the kids they could after they got their pajamas on. Eli said he couldn't find his bike all day.

Eli is ALWAYS losing things, so I didn't think anything of it. I walked into the backyard, and saw a bike--but it wasn't Eli's. Noah said it belonged to the boy that lives behind us, so I returned it and asked if they knew where Eli's bike was... they didn't know. I went back home and circled the house, thinking he just left it in the yard somewhere, but it was nowhere to be seen.

My dad and Noah rode their bikes to a couple of the kids' friends houses, to see if it wound up there, but no luck. We finally realized someone had actually stolen Eli's bike. He just got this bike in July, when we went to my sister's house. Remember how the other kids had bikes to ride, and Eli didn't, so my sister took him to Wal-Mart to buy a bike? It wasn't a super fancy bike or anything, but it was brand new, so I was bummed.

I put the kids in the Jeep and we drove around the neighborhood, looking in all the yards to see if we could find it. We didn't. Whenever I saw kids outside playing, I stopped and asked them if they'd seen the bike, and said that we would give a $5 reward to them if they brought it back. ;)

Eli was feeling really bad, and when it was time for bed, he said, "Mama, I feel weird. My stomach feels weird, like I did something wrong." (Basically, he was feeling guilty). Of course, I told him that it wasn't his fault that his bike was stolen. I had a hard time falling asleep because I was just pissed that someone would do that. Our neighborhood is very safe and we've never had problems like this before. At midnight, Eli came into my room and said that his stomach was hurting because he feels bad that someone stole his bike, so I let him sleep in my bed.

This morning before school, Jerry said he would take Eli out for a drive again to look for the bike. About 15 minutes later, Eli came in, boasting, "We found it!" It was in the neighborhood next to ours, in somebody's yard. The seat had been jacked up as high as it would go, so it was probably a teenager that took it. I was so relieved!

Eli asked if he could wear a tie to school today... doesn't he look adorable?!

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After the boys got on the bus, I did my run. On the schedule was 60 minutes easy running with 8 pick-ups (30 seconds fast). I don't know if I mentioned this on Friday, but my left knee started hurting during my 20-miler. My "bad" knee is my right one, and it finally seems to be fine--but it was my right knee that started hurting on Friday :(  I took it easy all weekend, and it felt okay.

I didn't want to run outside today, since the treadmill really does seem to help with knee pain; so I planned to do my run on the treadmill. I decided that the very second my knee started hurting, I was going to stop--I wasn't going to run through the pain, like I did in the spring (and wound up with a bad injury). I started out at 6.0 mph, which is actually starting to feel a little too easy now--I think I need to change it to 6.1 or 6.2 for my "easy" pace. But today, I really wanted to take it easy, so that was good.

I even did my pick-ups at an easier pace of 7.0 (I "should" be doing more like 10.0 for the sprints). I felt totally fine until mile four, when I felt a small twinge of pain in my knee. Just like I'd promised myself, I called it quits. My next run is on Wednesday, and I'll do the same thing if I have to. Thankfully, as soon as I stopped running, my knee felt totally fine and it hasn't bothered me the rest of the day. Hopefully I can avoid injury this way. I used the foam roller when I was done.

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Some of you were asking about muesli, and if it tastes like granola. It doesn't taste like granola because it's not sweetened. Granola has a ton of sugar in it, which is what makes it crunchy. It's kind of like "candied" oatmeal. Muesli is just unsweetened raw oats with dried fruit, seeds, and nuts. It has a chewy texture, rather than crunchy like granola. But as far as health food, muesli trumps granola.

If you like oatmeal, and dried fruits and nuts, then I'm sure you will like the muesli. If the muesli isn't sweet enough for you, then you could try adding some maple syrup or honey to the liquid that you soak or cook it in. Muesli is really easy on my stomach, so if I eat before a run, muesli is a good choice (that's what I had before my 20-miler on Friday). I also have it for dinner sometimes when I don't feel like cooking. The only drawback is the tiny portion size! It stays with you for a while though--I don't get hungry for at least a few hours after eating it.

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I am SO ready for my favorite fall TV shows to start! Hopefully next week? Parenthood started last week, but that's the only one (that I watch) that has been on so far.

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Muesli Fusion Review & Giveaway

It's been a fun week, because I have another giveaway for you!

If you've never tried muesli before, let me fill you in: it's basically a combination of all of my favorite healthy foods! Oats, dried fruit, nuts, and seeds. Does it get any better? (Well, maybe if you add peanut butter...)

I was recently contacted by a company called Muesli Fusion to try out a few of their different varieties, so naturally, I jumped on board right away. I think I actually squealed with delight when I opened the box.

Here are the individual labels:

Classic Swiss

Athlete Fuel

An-Ox (Anti-Oxidant)

See how simple the ingredients are? "No junk. Just food."

I decided to try out the Athlete Fuel first. It was the cashews that hooked me ;)  When you look at the serving size, 1/3 of a cup seems so tiny for 160 calories. But compared to my regular oatmeal, it's only a smidge higher. And it does bulk up (just like oatmeal) when you soak it or cook it. You can eat muesli cold or hot. I like to eat it cold, soaked in milk.

Right out of the bag

Equal parts milk and muesli

After 2 hours in the refrigerator

If my bananas weren't black and mushy, I bet they would have tasted great sliced on top of the muesli! But as it was, I really loved this combo. Because of all the nuts and seeds, it had some good crunch; and the dried fruit gives it a nice sweetness. I didn't add any sweetener, but I bet maple syrup would be great in it as well.

The next day, I tried the An-Ox muesli, prepared the same way. Unfortunately, I found it kind of bland. It was the first time I'd tried goji berries, and I didn't think they had much flavor. I definitely liked the Athlete Fuel better.

On the back of the Classic Swiss muesli, there is a recipe for Hearty Muesli Bars. I actually had all the ingredients on hand, so I made the bars. The directions said to allow to cool completely before cutting, but I was too impatient to wait, so my bar fell apart a little. Thankfully, I love messy food ;)

I was surprised that they were kind of salty--but I loved them! The flavor reminded me of those almond cookies you get at Chinese restaurants, and the texture was just how you would imagine it to be--chewy oats with crunchy nuts and sweet bits of dried fruit. There were only two tablespoons of honey in the recipe, and I didn't think they would taste very good because of the lack of sweetness, but I didn't feel that way at all when I ate the bar. I actually had to urge Jerry to take the rest to work, so I wouldn't keep picking at them all day.

There are many ways to eat muesli, so I'm going to keep experimenting. You can soak it in juice instead of milk, top it with fresh fruit, stir it into yogurt (I won't be trying that, since you know I hate yogurt!), cook it like you would oatmeal for a hot cereal, bake it into cookies or bars, like above... the possibilities are endless, really.

Muesli Fusion has very generously offered to give three bags of muesli to one lucky Runs for Cookies reader! To enter the random drawing, just leave a comment on this post telling me how you like to eat muesli, or, if you've never tried it, which variety sounds the best to you (you can see all the varieties here). I will choose a winner on Tuesday, 9/18 at 8:00 a.m. (winner will be announced that evening), and the winner will have 24 hours to e-mail me with their info. Good luck!  (DRAWING HAS NOW ENDED)

(In full disclosure, I was given three bags of Muesli Fusion to sample for free, but all opinions are my own).

You can check out Muesli Fusion on their website, Facebook, or Twitter.

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A week without peanut butter

After yesterday's rainy 20-mile run, I spent most of the afternoon in the recliner with my beloved Teavana Youthberry tea. The rain eventually stopped and it ended up being a pretty nice day, but I was still glad to have run in the rain. I will take rain over sun and heat any day!

Yesterday was Jerry's birthday, so I made his favorite dinner before he went to work. The day seemed like it went by so fast, probably because I spent the entire morning running. The kids wanted to watch a movie and have popcorn before bed, so I put on the movie Tremors (which was on TV and I recorded it). I used to love that movie when I was a kid! I was surprised that the boys didn't fall asleep during the movie.

Usually on my long run days, I'm not very hungry; but yesterday, I was famished! I snacked all afternoon, and ended up using 20 of my activity points for the day. I followed Pete's advice and had lower-calorie, filling foods, and I felt great. Typically, I would have gotten very high-calorie junk food and justified eating it because "I ran 20 miles today"; but I would still be hungry all day. I had wine and dark chocolate for my treat last night, and savored every sip and bite.

Today, I didn't have anything going on except to drive Eli to his friend's house for a play date. When Eli was at his friend's house, Noah went out to lunch with my mom, and Jerry went to my parents' house to fix the minivan (it's been overheating). So I had the house to myself! Instead of doing something fun, I ended up mopping the kitchen floor. (Sounds simple, but it was a big production of moving everything out of the kitchen, sweeping, and mopping scrubbing the floor).

Today is actually Day 7 of no peanut butter! I'm still going strong without it. I never really realized just how much of a problem peanut butter was for me until this week. When I am stressed out and want to binge, the first thing I think of is peanut butter--by itself, spread on something, peanut butter candy, in ice cream, cookies, whatever.

But this week, when I've had the urge to binge, I can't think of anything without peanut butter that sounds like it's worth bingeing on. So my problem hasn't been cookies or ice cream or doughnuts--it's been the peanut butter that's in all those things! There is no way I'd want to give up peanut butter forever, but this six-week challenge is just what I needed to stop the binge eating (hopefully I'm not jinxing myself by saying that).

I have absolutely no pictures for today's short post, so here is a picture of Estelle:

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A very rainy 20-miler

Earlier this week, when I checked my marathon schedule, it said 20 miles this Friday (today). I was surprised, because I could have sworn it was 18! So I spent all week nervous about my long (long, long) run today. Last night, I got a text from Renee, and low and behold, she was running 20 miles today too!

I wish I ran at her pace, because I would have LOVED some company on a 3 1/2 hour run, but she's much faster than me. So I knew I'd be running alone this time. I've only run this far twice before, so I was super nervous about it. Last night, I plugged in my Garmin to charge, plugged in my iPod, laid out my running clothes, filled my water bottle and stuck it in the fridge--got everything ready so the morning wouldn't be hectic.

When I woke up, I could hear the patter of rain on the windows. Bummer.

It certainly didn't look like it was going to let up, either. But because I had such a hard time getting in my long run on Monday (and therefore, didn't end up doing it), I had to get it done today. It wasn't an option to put it off any longer.

I mapped out a different route today, because I was hoping I'd run into Renee a couple of times, and the new scenery would hopefully make it go by faster. I grabbed an extra shirt and pair of socks to throw in the car, in case the rain really didn't let up. I drove to the public parking lot where I was going to do three out-and-backs from my car--six miles, then eight miles in the opposite direction, then six miles.

I sat in the car for a couple of minutes, really not wanting to get out. The rain wasn't just a drizzle; it was coming down pretty hard. Finally, I got out and started running. The first two miles was along a busy road (I was on the sidewalk). Then I cut across to go two miles around a large park. It was completely empty, which was unusual (and totally creepy). The path is gravel, and it goes right up against the woods, and then cuts across by some soccer fields, and then goes around a pond, and then goes back out to the busy road.

I was really nervous to be there all alone, because if a creeper pulled into the park, I would be trapped in the back near the woods, basically. Thankfully, all the creepers were hiding from the rain this morning, and I didn't run into anyone. The rain was a total downpour the entire time I was at the park. Renee sent me a text when I was 3.5 miles in and said she was just heading out.

My iPod headphones were soaking wet and they stopped working, so I put them in my pocket. Normally, I don't use my iPod unless I'm doing a really long run, and usually then I only use it for the first half or so. But today, I was looking forward to listening to a podcast, and the headphones quit working. I stopped at the car at mile six in order to throw my iPod in there, and also to see if I had a plastic bag to wrap my phone with. Thankfully, there was a plastic grocery bag in the car, so I tore off a big chunk of it and wrapped my phone before putting it back in my little belt pouch.

I started the eight-mile out-and-back from the car, which went in the opposite direction, through the State Park, and back. At mile nine, I ate my first GU. I was starting to feel kind of sluggish, so I hoped it would pick me up a little. The State Park is extremely boring to run (the entire trail looks the same), so I wanted to get it done. I worked on drinking my Gatorade so that I could refill when I got back to the car.

I didn't run into a single soul in the park, which is unusual. But it was still raining, of course, so naturally everyone was inside! When I got back to the car, I HAD to change my socks. My feet were totally soaked, and I could even hear a "squish" noise with each step I took. So I refilled my water bottle, and took of my sopping wet socks. My feet were all wrinkled from being so wet:

I put on my dry socks, and tried to wipe out the inside of my shoes with a towel--I wished I had brought a change of shoes, too, but I had to make-do with the wet ones. I felt MUCH better once I changed socks. My hips and knees were starting to feel a little achy, and I really wanted to call it quits. Renee sent me a text then, saying she was done with 10 miles. I ate my other GU and headed out for the final six-mile leg of my 20-miler, which was the same route as the first leg.

A mile and a half later, I ran into Renee. I could see her pink Women Rock MN jacket coming toward me. She was all perky and feeling great at that point--she asked how far I'd gone, and I said 15.6. She said she had gone 15.3... so she was CRUISING. She said her pace was 8:48/mi. That's super fast for doing a 20-mile run. We chatted for a minute, then headed off in opposite directions.

When I got to the park, I was relieved to be running on the gravel--it was much softer than the concrete sidewalks and the asphalt trail through the State Park. My legs didn't feel so achy when I was running on the gravel, but I still had to stop and stretch my legs a couple of times.

Finally... FINALLY... the car was in sight! I picked up the pace the last mile a little, even though my legs were super tired, and was so relieved to make it back to the car.

I was really happy with my 10:26/mi overall pace! My pace has stayed consistent for all of my long runs--I expected to get slower and slower as the mileage picked up. But, despite the rain, I am loving the cooler weather! I was actually a little cold today! My splits:

I was very excited to plug my run into Weight Watchers when I got home, to see how many activity points I earned:

I earned 38 PointsPlus for that! Which is good, because I had already gone through 25 by lunch time--I had to count the PP in the GU and Gatorade, and I ate a bigger breakfast to prepare for my run. ALSO--can you believe that wine is 4 frickin' points for a 5 oz glass?! That's just not fair!

Speaking of WW, I'm actually kind of liking the program this time around. It's nice to do something different. And I hate to admit it, but I think paying the money for the online program has kept me on track ;)  I so badly wanted to binge yesterday, but I kept thinking about the money I paid to try this program, so I didn't do it. If there is one thing I can't stand, it's wasting perfectly good money! ;)

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The winner of the giveaway for Pete Thomas's book, "Lose It Fast, Lose It Forever" is:

Congrats Karen!! Please send me an e-mail at SlimKatie (at) runsforcookies (dot) com within 24 hours with your full name and shipping address, so I can pass it along to the publisher. I hope you enjoy the book as much as I did!

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Modification, not starvation

I didn't think it was possible to be any more sore than I was yesterday. I was wrong. I don't think there is a single muscle in my body that doesn't feel Tuesday's workout with Pete!

As I mentioned, I had a long conversation with Pete after his boot camp class, and I learned a few new tips for maintenance that I think will really help me. It's no secret that maintenance is HARD for me, mainly because of stress eating.

The questions I had prepared to ask Pete weren't necessarily about ME, but questions that I thought everyone might find helpful (after reading his book, "Lose It Fast, Lose It Forever"). But as we talked, I found myself asking for advice on the issues I face with maintenance. Some of these things may seem very obvious, but the way Pete talked about it put it all into perspective for me, and it made so much sense!

One of the things Pete learned to do during his weight loss was what he calls "modification, not starvation". He took his favorite foods and modified them to be fewer calories so they would fit in with his weight loss plan. He said the key is to pick foods that still satisfy the craving (so, for example, if you're craving ice cream, eating some yogurt isn't going to cut it). He used the example of popcorn--he used to love the large, buttered movie theater popcorn; now, he'll have the same amount of air-popped popcorn with a little butter spray.

He admits that you may not love the substitutions at first, because you're not used to them, but you're saving roughly 1300 calories by choosing the latter (in the popcorn example)! I told him that I'm an ice cream girl, and he suggested the 40-calorie fudgesicles; because even if I ate the entire box, I would still only eat about 1/4 of the calories that are in a pint of premium ice cream. Here is the example Pete used in his book about modifying his breakfast (notice that he's eating the same amount of food):

Pete's "before" breakfast

Pete's "after" breakfast

I talked to Pete about my binge eating, and while he agrees that bingeing is not okay, he knows that it happens sometimes. And he suggested choosing foods that are lower in calories (like the fudgesicles) to minimize the damage done during a binge. Basically the lesser of two evils ;)

When I first saw some of the examples of foods in Pete's book, I was surprised by the processed foods. I pictured The Biggest Loser Ranch to be void of all things processed. To quote from Pete's book, "At first, we modify only to form that Forever Habit and lose that next pound. Truthfully, we are only 'eating for weight loss.' After we see success in that area, we start modifying because we're 'eating for health,' or you might call it 'eating for life,' which will involve many more natural, whole, and unprocessed foods."

When I talked with Pete about this, he said that when he was over 400 pounds, he was going to die from obesity quickly; so his top priority was to cut calories and lose weight, even if that meant using processed foods. Gradually, he turned toward more unprocessed foods. He used the example of soda pop. For someone who drinks soda on a regular basis, cutting it out cold turkey is really difficult; so he believes it's okay to switch to diet soda, and then maybe flavored water, and then, eventually, just water instead of soda.

That is exactly what I did during my weight loss--I used fat-free sour cream, Crystal Light, Fiber One bars, and other processed foods because they helped me to lower my calories and stay on my plan. Eventually, as I lost the weight, I started to buy less processed foods. I eat fairly healthy, for the most part, but eating all unprocessed organic food just isn't realistic for me on a day-to-day basis.

I asked Pete if he still counts calories every single day, and he said no--that he knows what his limits are. He monitors his weight, and if it goes up a little over the course of a week, then he'll count calories again to get it back down, but he can usually look back on what he was eating and figure out what caused the gain. He said by keeping a log, you can usually see what went wrong, and then you can make a plan to fix it.

For example, I asked him about marathon training. I said that I'm always ravenous the day after a long run, and I eat everything in sight. Pete suggested that I eat a large volume of lower calorie foods; I should plan on having a lot of foods with a high water and fiber content (fruits, veggies) to really fill up the day after my long run without doing a ton of caloric damage. It seems so obvious, but I never thought to do that before!

I also mentioned how I tend to gain weight in the summer, typically from the stress of my kids being home and constantly fighting with each other. He said that I should make a plan for next summer, so that I know ahead of time how I will handle things without the stress eating. Since I know the stress is coming, I can plan ahead exactly what I will do.

I wish I had a whole manuscript of our conversation, because I learned so much, and it's hard to convey it here (I believe everything we talked about can be found in his book, though). But I've started to look at some of my regular foods differently, thinking about how I can modify them to be less caloric and still stay satisfying. And I'm definitely going to come up with a plan for the day after my long runs, as well as summertime next year.

Pete said I really need to start thinking more positively, because I told him that I worry every single day, "Is this the day that I start gaining all this weight back?" He's at the point that he doesn't worry about that anymore, and I really hope to get to that place someday! But I'm grateful that he took the time to talk with me :)

Make sure you enter the giveaway for Pete's book, if you haven't already! (Giveaway is over now)

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Book review and giveaway

Sore doesn't even begin to describe how my body is feeling right now!

As I mentioned yesterday, I had an opportunity come up that made me extremely anxious. I was a nervous wreck all day, and was thisclose to canceling, but I realized I would really regret it if I did.

I was recently asked if I would like to review a book called Lose It Fast, Lose It Forever by Pete Thomas, who is the at-home winner of The Biggest Loser Season 2. He lost 185 pounds and has kept it off for 7 years! As you know, I am a huge Biggest Loser fan. I remembered Pete very well, and was really excited to have the opportunity to read and review his book. (The book will be on shelves Sept. 17th)

While I was waiting for the book to arrive, I even re-watched his season of the show, to refresh my memory. Pete was the kind of BL contestant that I like--quiet, not super dramatic, and did what he was told by the trainers. He started on the ranch at 418 pounds; went home after week 7, weighing 318 pounds; and at the finale, he weighed in at 216 pounds (he's 6'5"--very tall!).

Lose It Fast, Lose It Forever is marketed as "A 4-Step Permanent Weight-Loss Plan". Normally, I despise diet books, but because Pete has kept the weight off for so long, I really wanted to see if I could learn something new. In a nutshell, the book is about how Pete lost the weight, including some insider tips from the ranch; and more importantly, how he changed his whole lifestyle to keep the weight off. He details the diet and exercise changes we can use to lose weight "fast and forever".

Rather than give a detailed account of the book itself, I thought I'd share some points in the book that I found really interesting because they are strategies I used myself. I found that Pete and I had very similar strategies and ideas during our weight loss, which helped me feel like maybe I'm on the right track after all ;)

First, he stresses throughout the book that you need to tailor a plan just for you. You should make it fit with your goals and your situation, and he walks you through that. I am always stressing that same point--what works for me, might not work for you. What worked for Pete may not work for me... and so on. We are all individuals, so we have to find what works for us.

Pete wrote, "I was willing to give my all to get healthy again."  Pete had that determination that I always stress is more important than motivation. He was willing to do whatever it took to lose the weight.

Pete lost the weight by counting calories and exercise. That's exactly what I did. He lost it much faster because he was working out, oh, about ten times more than I was ;)

My very favorite similarity in our journeys? Pete writes: "My number one principle of nutrition is: Never, ever, EVER start a diet that you can't maintain for the rest of your life." I am ALWAYS saying that my best advice is to only make changes that you are willing to live with forever. He states, "You have to be able to stick with the diet in any and all circumstances for it to be long-term."

There are many more similarities, but I won't be redundant by listing all of them. Overall, I was really impressed with Lose It Fast, Lose It Forever. I love that it stresses tailoring the diet to your own life. Pete gives some great tips that even I was able to learn from. Pete doesn't say to give up any of your favorite foods, or cut out whole food groups. I think his plan is a very do-able way to lose weight.

I found it very interesting how he discusses in the exercise section about how often you should work out. He gives examples of how much you can expect to lose based on how often you work out. To achieve Biggest Loser Ranch-type results, you'd have to work out for 4 hours a day!

I really enjoyed the book, and I'm definitely going to give the workouts a try (more details about the workouts are below). And lucky for one of you, you can win a copy of Pete's book as well!! Just leave a comment on this post, and I will enter you in a random drawing. I will select a winner on Friday, Sept. 14th at 10:00 a.m. EST.--GIVEAWAY HAS NOW ENDED.

I was really surprised to see that Pete actually lives in Ann Arbor, MI--which is where I go to Whole Foods! When I finished reading the book, I decided to send him an e-mail and see if he might meet me for coffee or something to ask him a couple of interview questions for the blog.

He wrote me back, and actually suggested that I go to his boot camp class. *Cue anxiety*. I knew it was a great opportunity, but I have only done a class ONCE (something with Jessica at the YMCA), and it did not go well. I'm terrible at stuff like that! Also, the "fat girl" inside of me kept saying, "You can't do that class! You won't be able to keep up. Everyone will stare at you. That's too hard for you." Etc, etc. I know that's a terrible way to think, but that's honestly what goes through my mind.

I invited my friend Adam to come with me, and he said that he's seen Pete lots of times working out at the gym in Ann Arbor, and that he's super friendly. Adam didn't want to go with me (I couldn't sucker ANY of my friends into doing it with me!). I spent all day yesterday thinking of excuses I could come up with to not go. But I decided that I needed to do it, to at least say I tried it.

I had to bring a mat, towel, "lots of water", and dumbbells. I chose my 8-lb dumbbells to bring. There were about 20-25 people that showed up, and about 8 of us were "newbies". The "veterans" had gone through his boot camps before. At first, all the newbies stayed in the gym while the veterans went outside with Pete's trainers. Pete stayed in the gym with us for the warm-up.

The warm-up was tough! I actually was pouring sweat. Most of the exercises were ones that I did on the Wii Active challenge--and thank God for that, because if I hadn't done that challenge I would have had a MUCH harder time during the workout. We did lots of lunges, squats, squat holds, butt kicks, push-ups, etc.

After the "warm-up", which left me exhausted, we went outside with the veterans. We started the circuits (the specifics about the circuit training is all in Pete's book). He does what he calls ABC circuits--A is for "above the waist", things like bicep curls, lateral raises, and push-ups; B is for "below (or at) the waist, things like squats, squat jumps, and sit-ups; C is for "cardio", things like jumping jacks, sprints, mountain climbers, etc.

You do an ABC (each exercise for one minute) and then go through those three exercises three times. Then you switch up the exercises and do it all over again. We went through four sets of exercises, and I felt like I was going to DIE by the end. The workout was two hours in total, and my arms and legs were so tired they were shaking. My least favorite exercise was the mountain climbers. I wanted to scream when I saw we had to do them yet AGAIN. I can totally see how people get pissed and just lose it when they are working out on The Biggest Loser ;)

My strengths were actually squats and lunges (yay, Wii Active!) but I really sucked at push-ups and sit-ups. When it was finally over, I got a chance to chat with Pete. I asked him to sign my book, of course, which he did:

Pete was SO nice, and answered all of my questions. He actually stayed after class for an hour to talk with me, and I learned so much from him. He is very genuine in wanting to help people lose weight. He said that the reason he waited so long to write a book is to make sure that he "got it" and had some accountability to help others lose the weight and keep it off. He doesn't even doubt anymore that he will keep the weight off, which is a place I am hoping to get to someday!

I cannot believe I forgot to do this, but I didn't take a single picture while I was there!! I at least wanted to get a picture with Pete, but I didn't think about it until after I'd left. What kind of blogger forgets to take a picture in that situation?!

This post is long enough, so tomorrow I will write all about my conversation with Pete and some refreshing info I learned from him. I'm so happy that I didn't chicken out about going, and I really wish that I lived closer to Ann Arbor so I could do his entire series of classes! By the way, the classes are for people of all abilities--it was tough, but Pete helps to modify exercises if needed.

Don't forget to enter the giveaway!

(In full disclosure, I was sent a copy of Pete's book for free to review, but all opinions are my own.)

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Dill Triscuits

Today marks day three of Weight Watchers, and so far, everything is going well. I'm shocked at how little I can eat for the allotted number of points I'm given! I'm allowed to have 26 PointsPlus daily, but I've had to use a lot of my weekly points just to get by, because I was really hungry. Thankfully, I also earn points for exercise, so I plan on using those, too.

A couple friends on Facebook were talking about the Dill, Sea Salt, and Olive Oil Triscuits, so I decided to buy some and give them a try. Oh WOW, are they ever good! Today I made tuna salad and ate it with the Triscuits for lunch. I love the dill + tuna combo.

I've also made a snack by mixing a little bit of Italian dressing seasoning mix into some cream cheese, then spreading it on the Dill Triscuits, and topping with a cucumber slice. It's a delicious snack!

[Someone recently mentioned that I do "product placement" on my blog, so I just want to be clear that this is not product placement. I bought the Triscuits, really like them, and wanted to share my find. That's all :)  If I am given samples of something to review on the blog, or am paid for a post, I always write that in the post. Otherwise, when I write about products like this, it's just because I like them.]

Jerry's birthday is on Friday--he'll be 32. I went shopping for his presents today, but I obviously can't write what I got him until after he opens them. Jerry is pretty easy to buy for, fortunately. Jerry is off on Thursday, but he's working Friday, so I think we'll celebrate his birthday on Thursday. The kids will have school during the day, so it'll just be me and Jerry--I'm trying to think of something fun we can do that doesn't involve food!

Maybe we'll go for a bike ride in the Metropark like we did for my mom's birthday. Or maybe go to the batting cages (Jerry loves the batting cages). Or maybe we'll even go see a matinee, because we've been wanting to see the new Bourne movie and just haven't had a chance.

Well, I have to cut this short because yesterday's post was waaay too long by the time this post goes live, I will be driving home from doing something that is WAY out of my comfort zone. I spent all day trying to come up with excuses not to go, but I knew I should just do it. Will definitely write about it tomorrow! Hopefully all goes well... ;)

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Six weeks

Yesterday marked six weeks until my marathon, and there is something about that number that screams "do a challenge!" or "make some six-week goals!" Six weeks just seems like the perfect amount of time to focus on a goal. After thinking all week what type of "six weeks until my marathon" challenge I wanted to do, I actually came up with two things.

The first, as I mentioned a couple of days ago, is to give up peanut butter for six weeks--not forever, but six weeks. I've been eating way too much of it, and when I binge, I always binge on peanut butter or something with peanut butter in it. So I am actually kind of excited to explore new snack foods. So far, there have been no withdrawal symptoms ;)

The second, is something I never thought I would ever do--I actually signed up for Weight Watchers Online. I've written before that I had bad experiences with WW, and that I did their program on my own when I first started losing weight. Eventually, I found all kinds of flaws with the (old) program and decided to switch over to counting calories. I did try the new PointsPlus program for a couple of weeks when it first came out, but I didn't have luck with it, and I never tried it again.

Recently, Mary gave the new program a try, and it planted the little seed in my brain that had me thinking, "Maybe I should give it another chance, I have all the materials..." Another reason I decided to try it is because of marathon training--my appetite is all over the place. Sometimes I'm starving, even after eating all of my calories for the day, and sometimes I feel just fine eating the low end of my calorie range.

The one thing that I liked about counting Points rather than calories in the past is that there are "free" foods--when I did the program, it was most vegetables that were free. But with the new program, all fruits and most veggies are free. So on those days during marathon training when I feel like I'm ravenously hungry, I can really bulk up my meals with fruits and veggies.

Also, as I've mentioned, I have been feeling kind of out-of-control lately with my eating, and I feel like I need some structure, at least for a while, to get back on track. When I mentioned WW to Jerry, he got really excited about it. He said that he really misses when we used to count Points together. He was bummed yesterday to see that his weight is up about 10 pounds as well, and he said he wants to count Points again to get it back down.

Now, I know there is nothing magical about counting Points (or PointsPlus, rather)--it really is just a glorified way of eating less. But sometimes I like to change things up and do things differently to make it fun for me. Enter the six-week challenge. I'm going to give the program six full weeks (last time, I only gave it about two weeks), sticking with it as carefully as I can, and just see what the results are. I would like to lose 5-10 pounds in that time, but most importantly, I just want to gain back a sense of control.

I always do best with my eating during the fall and winter, so hopefully I can get back into my goal range. And then I need to come up with a good plan to stay IN the range instead of going up and down with 10-15 pounds. But for right now, I'm going to try embracing the program and giving it a fair chance. My friend Stephanie does Weight Watchers, and I was super inspired when I saw her recent before and after pictures. She looks amazing!! She reached goal this year, but continues to count Points.

So anyway, today is Day 2 and everything is going well. I got off to a rocky start yesterday, because my friend Danielle was in town (she's moving from Minnesota to Washington D.C. and was passing through) and my mom made dinner. I ate there, and then had not one, but TWO pieces of dessert. I did look it up and count it, but I used up a lot of my weekly points already.

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I had an AWFUL morning as far as running goes.

Today, I had planned on doing an 18-mile run. Last night, I plugged in my Garmin to charge, plugged in my iPod for some new podcasts, laid out my running gear, mapped out my route, got everything ready so that the morning wouldn't be hectic. This morning, I woke up and got dressed in my running clothes, then got the kids ready for school. I left as soon as the bus picked them up, and drove the 20 minutes to park at the community center, where I start my run.

As soon as I pulled into the lot, I realized I forgot my Garmin at home. I was SO bummed. I thought about doing the run without the Garmin, but I really didn't want to. If it was just a six-miler or something, I would have run without it, but the Garmin gives me a whole timeline of my run, which is fun to have when I've run 18 miles. So I decided to go home and get it, and then go to the State Park instead (which is only 10 minutes away instead of 20).

So I drove home, grabbed my Garmin, and headed out to the State Park. I got almost all the way there when I realized that the heart rate monitor I put on wasn't working. I had put on an old heart rate strap because the new 910xt strap feels like razor blades under my boobs. Again, I could have just gone without it, but on a run as long as 18 miles, it's important for me to be able to monitor my heart. So I went back home AGAIN, switched out the strap, then went to the State Park.

As soon as I pulled into the lot, I saw this:

There was a sign next to it that said the trail was closed, and there were a bunch of trucks doing some sort of construction. At that point, I just screamed in frustration. It was already after 9:00, which is late to start a long run. In my pissed off state of mind, I just thought, "Fine--I'm just going to run 18 miles on the fucking treadmill!" Hahaha...

Got home, set up the treadmill and started running. I couldn't figure out why my pace was showing to be so slow even when I kept bumping up the speed on the treadmill. Then I realized that I had forgotten to turn off the GPS on my Garmin when I started running indoors, so it screwed up my pace. I didn't want to do all 18 miles like that, so I decided to just go outside, do a shorter run, and do my 18-miler on Friday.

I'm glad I at least got in a good run today, because I was just so frustrated and irritated by everything going wrong (made worse by PMS, I'm sure).

Screwed up treadmill splits

Outdoor splits

So I got in 66 minutes of running today. I'll run again on Wednesday, and then do 18 on Friday.

Wow, this post is way too long!

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