Allison's story

I'd like to introduce you to Allison, runner #10 on our Ragnar Relay Florida Keys team. Allison was actually a mystery to me when Rik and I first started this whole project. Rik said she would be great for the team, and I trusted his judgement. He couldn't have been more right! 

At first, Allison wasn't sure if she belonged on our team--because she is still in the middle of her weight loss journey. But I think that makes her very relatable to so many people who are where she is at this point. She is definitely a success story already--as you'll see below--but you'll get to see her change even more as this project continues. 

The whole team has welcomed her with open arms, and we are very happy to have her as part of our team. And I've discovered that, out of everybody on the team, Allison is the one who I probably have the most in common with--she reminds me so much of ME! ;)  Anyway, enjoy her story--she doesn't have a blog, so it's a little long, but she definitely has a knack for writing...

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My entire life, I’ve thought of myself as fat. Fifteen years ago, when I graduated high school, I was 160 pounds and borrowing my boyfriend’s size 36 jeans because I liked how they sat low on my hips. Ironic, now, since my goal weight is 160. Yes, goal weight. I’ve dubbed myself the team WIP (work-in-progress) because, though I’m currently down 40 pounds, I’ve not yet lost all of my weight.

Growing up, my family’s (tongue-in-cheek) motto was “Butter and/or bacon makes everything better.” Dad was (and still is) an amazing cook, and was heavy-handed on portions, but since the food was so good, no one minded, and we all went back for seconds. I don’t, for a second, blame his cooking AT ALL for my weight; I didn’t start chubbing up until I lived on my own. 

My hearty appetite was always a terrible mismatch for my sedentary lifestyle. In school, I was into theatre, yearbook, school newspaper, math team, chess team…notice the lack of anything athletic? As a kid (okay, as an adult, too), I was happiest curled up with a book, and my parents would force me outside…where I’d promptly sit down and continue reading.

After high school, I was on my own, working, going to college, and not eating anything that didn’t come from a box or a bag. Well, there WERE those canned stews… And take-out. Lots of take-out. “Fresh” described my attitude, not anything I ate. Too bad there aren’t salad delivery services. Six years after high school, I hit my (then) top weight of 248 pounds. I joined Weight Watchers at work and lost 50 pounds in 13 months! Then my company was sold, I got a new job, and I stopped WW because I was “sick of counting Points” and could “do this on my own now.” Guess how that turned out?

Yup, though I had learned about portion control from WW, the weight crept back on until I was 220, where I leveled for the next couple of years. In 2006, I started dating Jason (now hubby) and gained a lot of “happy” fat. I was happy about the new relationship, not about the weight! By the time we were married in October 2008, I was back in the 240s and 6 months later, hit my all-time high of 262.

I was furious with myself. What bride GAINS weight for her wedding?! I was supposed to have LOST weight for my wedding…for my college graduation…when I turned 25…24… 21…every year was always THE YEAR I’d lose weight. Every winter, I’d pack my sweaters away saying, “They won’t fit next year,” and every fall, I’d unpack the exact same sweaters and wear them through the next winter. 

Shortly after getting married

I’ve always wanted a nice coat and never bought one because it was “silly to spend the money when it won’t fit me next year because I’ll have lost so much weight.” I realized I could have owned the nice coat for the past 10 years…and it would have fit fine every winter. I was sick of only being able to shop at plus-sized stores. I was sick of spending summers planning what to wear that wouldn’t show sweat lines from my back fat or wondering if I should wear shorts instead of a dress so my thighs wouldn’t chafe.

I knew someone who’d had gastric bypass surgery, and, though I knew I didn’t want surgery, loved the nutritional counseling she’d had, so I looked into how to get the nutritional help without the surgery. Ridiculously, my insurance would pay for the counseling associated with surgery, but not for the counseling itself. 

Honeymoon in Hawaii

I looked for local nutritionists and found a (reasonably priced!) one who designed a balanced plan for me of 1400-1500 calories per day, with foods I loved (Cheese?! Pasta?!?). I followed the plan for 3 months and lost 35 pounds! Then…I stopped. I thought I “deserved a break,” but I never came back from break. How do you spell self-defeating? M-E. A year later, in 2010, I was back up to 240.

Around this time, Jason and I were planning our second trip to Hawai’i. Right after our wedding, we had honeymooned there, touring the islands. I’d been most looking forward to taking a helicopter tour of the Na Pali coast on Kauai, but we found out I was so heavy I’d have to pay for a second seat, so we didn’t do it, settling for a boat cruise instead. 

We loved Hawai’i and I said that if we were ever able to come back, I wouldn’t be so fat and we’d go on the helicopter. In planning our trip to celebrate our second anniversary, I realized that I was the exact same weight I was on our honeymoon, which meant, once again, there’d be no helicopter tour. I was angry and disappointed with myself because I had PROMISED myself I’d lose weight, and, even worse, I HAD lost some…and gained it all back.

 I hadn’t realized it until I was writing my story, but the Hawai’i trip was when I snapped. Through all of my weight up and down over the years, I’d taken boot camp classes on and off and had run laps for warm-ups. At 240 pounds, I decided to start running and registered for a 5K (to my family’s total bewilderment). I found the Couch-to-5K plan online and started week 1, day 1 on June 1, 2010.
 

Finishing the first 5K!

Two days later, I was rear-ended by a drunk driver on my way to work, screwing up my knee and sending me to physical therapy for the next 2 months. Frustrated, but strangely undeterred, I started C25K again on August 2, and ran my 1st 5K on October 23 with my whole family there to cheer me on. My parents, sister, brother, and husband were standing at the finish line cheering for me; the announcer asked them my name and I crossed the finish line of my first race to the sound of my name being screamed by my family over the loudspeaker!

When I ran that first day of C25K (1 minute jog alternated with 90 seconds of walking, repeated for 20 minutes), I thought I was going to die. By the time I got to the third repeat of jogging, I was gasping for air, my legs hurt, I was sweating, and I couldn’t figure out why I was doing this to myself. The second day was a little bit better, and I started to be proud of what I was doing. A couple of times, I had to repeat a week of the plan because I wasn’t ready to move on and increase my running time. I finished my first 5K in just under 40 minutes and had never been more proud of myself.

I ran three more 5Ks over the winter and was then laid off in March 2011. While nervous about being out of work, I embraced the free time and started boot camp again, increased my running, and ran four more 5Ks until, in mid-June 2011, I fell during a boot camp class, and shattered my wrist. The funny thing is that I’ve fallen harder at home tripping over one of my cats; this time, I landed JUST the right way, or rather wrong way! 

I had to have surgery, had a titanium plate and a whole bunch of screws put in, went through loads of physical and occupational therapy, and 2 months to the day after I fell, got the doctor’s OK to run again and had my “come-back” race 2 weeks later. I did walk a 5K the week after my surgery; I’d been registered for months and was SO frustrated I couldn’t run it, so my husband offered to walk it with me!   I’m glad we did it because being surrounded by the runners and the crowd reminded me how much I enjoyed running and made me antsy to get back to it!

I’ve run more than a dozen 5Ks since that 1st one, have a bunch more scheduled for this summer, and am training for my first half-marathon this October! I love getting outside to run, and am thrilled every time I run a route a little bit faster, or run a little further. Compared to most runners, I’m not fast: I run an 11:30 – 12:00 minute pace. Compared to my 15:00 minute pace when I first started, I’m a speed demon!

I count calories, staying between 1200-1400 each day, and am averaging a loss of about 1 pound per week. Keeping with this plan, I’ll be out of the 200s by Ragnar…well into the 100s, actually! I felt funny joining such an amazing group of people who’ve all lost such significant weight since I’m not “there” yet. Funny, that is, until my wonderful and inspiring teammates reminded me that they’d all been where I am, and they all welcomed me whole-heartedly; now, I’m okay with being the team WIP and I am thrilled to be part of this incredible experience with these fantastic people!

40 pounds down

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Unwrapped

What a crappy run today.

My plan was to run 10 miles, so I knew I was going to have to head out the second Jerry got home at 6:30 this morning in order to get home quickly so he could go to sleep. I woke up at 5:45 without an alarm, and finally dragged myself out of bed at 6:00 to dress and be ready to go at 6:30.

As soon as Jerry walked in the door, I left for the State Park. I would rather have gone to the Metropark, but it's a lot farther away than the State Park, so I settled. As soon as I parked, I started running an out-and-back route. Almost immediately, my stomach felt a little "off". I started debating in my head whether I really wanted to do the full 10.

The devil on my shoulder was telling me:
"You're not technically training for anything right now, so you don't HAVE to run 10."
"You have a knee injury. You should rest it anyway."
"You could always do 10 tomorrow, when you're feeling better."
"Your stomach feels crappy. What if you get runner's trots out here?"
"Just turn around now, a 3-mile run is fine."

And then the angel on my other shoulder was countering with:
"A few weeks ago, you would have called 10 miles a short run."
"Your knee will be fine--just take walk breaks if it gets painful."
"You don't want to run tomorrow; you're already dressed and out here running right now."
"If I turn around now, I will feel like I have to run 10 tomorrow."
"Worst case scenario, I can call Jerry to pick me up if things get horrible... just get to the turn-around point."

By mile 2.5, my knee was hurting. I walked the last tenth of the third mile, and then the last tenth of each mile after that (the 9:1 ratio). I had to go through a few intersections, and I kept praying that the light would be red so I could get a short break. Despite my walk breaks at the end of each mile, my knee was hurting just a minute or two later. After about 7 miles, I started to feel a hot spot on my foot turning into a blister--stupid new shoes! I never got blisters with my Adrenaline's. I stopped at a bench to tighten the laces and hope that would stop my foot from rubbing against the side of the shoe. When I got back to the car, I was so relieved to be done!

I didn't have time to do anything except drive right home to let Jerry go to bed. When I got home, I stretched and rolled out my IT band. Then I took an ice cold shower--I didn't even turn the hot water on a smidge. It was all cold water coming out, and I could barely breathe at how shockingly cold it was. I was hoping it would wake me up a little and make me feel refreshed or something. (In retrospect--what the fuck, Katie?!)

I had to take the kids to the doctor for their annual check-ups. I quickly made a German Chocolate Cake protein shake (I just realized I didn't put the recipe up on my recipes blog--I'll add another shakes page, hopefully before this post goes live today). It felt like we were waiting forever at the doctor, and I developed a bad headache. The kids were driving me crazy, in the little room while we were waiting. Finally, the doctor came in and checked them out. Noah had to get a vaccine, and they both had to get a finger poke, but everything was good.

On the way home, we had to stop and get a couple of birthday gifts. Noah is going to a pool party tomorrow, and Eli was invited to a little girl's birthday party in a couple of weeks--a Justin Bieber party, hahaha. He was not happy about picking out a gift for a girl ;)

I stopped at a local bread shop before coming home, and I bought some soup for lunch--tomato basil. I got Jerry a sandwich. After my surgery, Renee brought me some of their soup and it was amazing! I have been craving it ever since, so I used the 1000-ish 801 calories I burned today as an excuse to get some--along with bread, of course. And the chips that came with Jerry's sandwich.

By the time I got home, my headache was killing me. I took some Motrin, but nothing really helped. I was extremely tired, too, and I started to worry that I was getting sick. And then it hit me...

I didn't have coffee this morning. The last time I had a headache like this was when I gave up coffee in October. Then I started drinking it again last week, and I drank it every day since. Until today. I was so busy this morning that I didn't have any. So I was completely exhausted and headachey all day. I must just be extra sensitive to coffee or something! And for those of you that asked, decaf doesn't bother me at all. If I went out for coffee with a friend, I would just get decaf and it was fine. At home, I drank green tea. I think I'm going to switch back to green tea instead of coffee--my stomach will thank me for it. But I was loving how energetic I got with the coffee!

I've been hooked on the show Unwrapped on The Food Network. My kids love the show too. We watched an episode this afternoon about movie theater treats. I really need to stop watching that show! I always want to go out and buy whatever they feature on the show. Today it was the Cookie Dough Bites that got me. I even went to Kroger to get some (hey, I did run 10 miles today!) but they didn't have any :(  I know I saw them at Target before, so I will probably pick some up next time I'm there. Do any of you get suckered into buying crap you see on The Food Network? 

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Special K Granola Bar Review & Giveaway

Maybe it's because I'm constantly talking about my love for chocolate and peanut butter, but when someone from Special K contacted me to ask if I would like to try out the new Special K granola bars, I couldn't refuse. One of the flavors was "Chocolatey Peanut Butter"--like it was made just for me! I was excited to get the package in the mail...

The boxes come with five bars each. Naturally, I tried the Chocolatey Peanut Butter flavor first. The size of the bar was nothing to write home about--small enough that the calories are easy to fit into your daily allowance, but big enough to satisfy a sweet craving.

I was impressed with the taste! I actually liked it more than I expected to. When I was losing weight, I used to eat the Fiber One bars, and this reminded me of those bars. I won't try and fool anyone into thinking this is "health food", however... ;)

But I've never pretended to be a purist when it comes to food, and I'm not above eating processed ingredients sometimes if it satisfies a craving and helps me to stay on track for the long term. The nutrition info isn't too bad, and it's easy to fit into a daily calorie allowance:

I really liked the Dark Chocolate flavor as well--probably just as much as the peanut butter one.

Special K has very generously offered a box of each flavor to one Runs for Cookies reader! You will receive the same package I did. I've set up a Rafflecopter for this giveaway, and I'm a little nervous about it because I've never tried it before. But I'm hoping that it makes things easier on me for giveaways. So you can use the Rafflecopter form below to enter to win the bars.

You can find Special K on Facebook and on Twitter.

Note: I'm leaving comments turned ON for this post (so that you can enter the giveaway by leaving a comment), but you will have to use the Rafflecopter form itself to be entered in the giveaway.
Disclosure: I was given the granola bars for free to review, but opinions are completely my own and I was not required to give a favorable review. 

Giveaway ends at 12:01 AM EST on 6/9/2012.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Tempo intervals

When I woke up this morning, I was actually kind of looking forward to my run so I could try out my new shoes! I was going to do the second marathon training workout, even though I'm not technically in training just yet. It involved a 15 minute easy run, followed by 5 minutes at tempo pace and 2 minutes easy recovery (repeat those 7 minutes 3 more times), and a 10 minute easy cool-down... a grand total of 53 minutes.

I logged into my Garmin account to set up the workout and send it to my watch. I like doing it that way, so I don't have to try and think of how many times I've done each interval, and all that--I just run fast when my watch vibrates, then run slow when it vibrates again. Very simple!

I put on my new Mizuno's, and headed out to run. My plan was to keep my easy running at a 10:30 ish pace, and my tempo intervals at a 9:00 ish pace. At first, things were going well. The shoes were very comfy--they feel a lot lighter and more flexible than my Adrenaline's. I didn't have any issues with the fit, either. My knee really started to hurt about halfway through the run. After my third tempo interval, I decided to walk the 2-minute easy recovery instead of a slow run. That helped my knee enough to where I could run the last tempo interval at a decent pace. Then I walked 2 minutes, and then did the easy running until I got home.

Over all, it looked like this:
15 min: Easy run (10:02 pace)
5 min: Tempo interval (8:52 pace)
2 min: Easy recovery (10:15 pace)
5 min: Tempo interval (9:00 pace)
2 min: Easy recovery (10:19 pace)
5 min: Tempo interval (9:27 pace--this is when my knee was killing me)
2 min: Easy recovery (13:04 pace--I walked this one)
5 min: Tempo interval (9:07 pace)
2 min: Easy recovery (13:16 pace--I walked this one too)
7 min (arrived home before the 10 minute mark): Easy cool-down run (10:08 pace)

In total, I ran 5.10 miles in 50:14, a 9:51 pace. I wasn't expecting miracles with my knee, but I was praying that wearing the new shoes would make a big difference in how my knee felt. I know I have to give it time, though. I came home and rolled out my IT band (ouch!!) and did some stretches. My appointment with the sports medicine doctor isn't until June 25th (the soonest they could get me in). So I'll already be marathon training by then.

Jerry is so great! While I was out running, he put some water out on the porch for me to drink when I was done, and he cleaned up the kitchen, leaving me a couple of notes in the process:

Coffee all ready to brew

Dishwasher loaded and ready to run

After my run and shower, I barely did anything at all today. I am still SUPER sore from doing The Swing a couple of days ago. I don't know if I'll be able to do it again tomorrow like I'm planning on.

I've discovered that my stomach really dislikes regular (caffeinated) coffee. When I gave it up in October, I know that I felt better, but I couldn't really pin point WHY. Well, for the past 4-5 days, since I started drinking it again, my stomach has been really revolting against me. I've been spending a lot of time in the bathroom, and not in a good way. I think I should probably give up on the coffee again. I love that it makes me more energetic, but my stomach issues are awful.

I keep seeing previews for the Lifetime movie "Blue Lagoon: The Awakening" and I'm so excited to watch it!! I loved the movie The Blue Lagoon, and of course I'm a sucker for Lifetime movies. It's on June 16th, if you're interested.

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Homemade Foam Roller (for only $5!)

Jerry actually went for a run this morning. Yes, that is surprising. Ever since we did the interview with Jennifer and Angela, he's been talking about running and wanting to sign up for a 10K. He's done that before, but usually he's over it by Day 2. He ran once last week, and then again today. I'm glad that he's doing it! But now we're going to fight over who gets to do which races... ;)

I was going to buy a foam roller today, but I couldn't believe how expensive they are! I looked up alternatives online (because I'm too cheap to spend $30 on a piece of foam) and I found a do-it-yourself version. It's made with a PVC pipe, foam insulation, and duct tape.

Looked simple enough, so I bought the materials today. The man at the hardware store had a piece of pipe that was "scrap", so he sold it to me for $2. The insulation was $3, and I had duct tape at home. So for a grand total of $5, I made one hell of a foam roller...

It's obviously much sturdier than the ones at the store, so it'll never need to be replaced (foam rollers wear down over time). It's the perfect size, and it does the job well. I rolled out my IT band with it, and while it was very painful, I certainly hope that it will help.

Remember when I reviewed that book called The Swing, and I said I was going to try it out after the marathon? Well, that time has come. Yesterday, I read through the book again and practiced trying out the movement. I thought maybe I was doing it wrong, because it wasn't really hard. I didn't break a sweat or anything. But today, I am SUPER sore. I can feel every muscle in my back. I'm going to do it twice a week.

My kids had their first baseball games tonight. The games overlapped each other, so I was bummed I had to miss most of Noah's. My parents stayed with Noah and I took Eli to his game. Noah apparently had a great game--he hit three doubles, and he caught a pop fly (which isn't very common for kids his age!) My mom said the whole crowd was really impressed with him.

Noah is technically too young to be playing on his team--it's for 8-year olds, and he won't be 8 until July. But there was no way I was going to make him play t-ball again, because he's really good! I'm glad I put him on the coach-pitch team. Eli did really well at his game, too. How cute are they in their uniforms?! ;)

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Yesterday, the Facebook page for the documentary From Fat to Finish Line (the doc I'm taking part in) started a contest. Since a lot of you are runners, you may want to enter--if you submit a photo of you in your best running costume, you can win a drawing of you in costume done by a cartoonist. I wish I could win it, because I would love to have a cartoon drawing of myself! It would be a cool profile picture or something. But anyway, you can go to the Facebook page and click on "Contests" to check it out.

I'm kind of looking forward to my run tomorrow--I get to try out my news Mizunos!

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Weekend recap

I rarely have enough stuff going on in a weekend to have a "recap", so it's kind of exciting that I do! ;) Actually, the weekend wasn't very exciting; but it was kind of busy...

Since I didn't do my long run on Friday, I had to do it Saturday. And I'm glad I waited, because the weather was gorgeous for a run! My plan was to run 10 miles--my first post-marathon long run. I drove out to the Metropark to run, because my kids went to some garage sales with my dad. I decided to run the whole 10, rather than doing the 9:1 run/walk method.

I headed out and it was so peaceful and nice outside, with great weather. But just a couple of miles into the run, my knee started bugging me. By mile 4, I had tears in my eyes because it was hurting so badly. I was running an out-and-back route, so I was 4 miles from my car. I was actually only a mile or so from where my dad was garage saleing with my kids. I took my phone out of my hydration belt to call my dad for a pick-up. I have NEVER called for a pick-up from a run before!! That's how much pain I was in. Before I called, however, I decided to try a walk break.

At mile 4.5, I walked for 1/4 mile, and that helped my knee enough to where I could run again. After that, I just did a 9:1 run/walk method, and while my knee still hurt, I was able to finish the 10 miles. I was so frustrated with my goddamned knee that I got my my car and screamed--like the people that totally lose it in the movies. My splits:

The 11:16 mile was where I walked 1/4 mile of it. After that mile, I ran the first 9/10ths of a mile and then walked the last tenth. About a mile from the car, I stopped to take a picture because it was so pretty:

My knee was pretty much killing me the rest of the day. I decided to call a sports medicine doctor first thing on Monday.

On Sunday morning, I woke up bright and early. A couple of my friends (Alicia and Andrea) were going to do their first triathlon, and I wanted to go cheer them on. It was at the state park (not far from my house), so I quickly dressed and headed out. I stopped and bought a 24 oz. coffee (a regular one--not decaf)! It makes me laugh how easy it was to get hooked on regular coffee after the one little slip-up on Friday. I walked down by the beach to the start of the race, and found Alicia and Andrea.

Andrea and Alicia--don't they look cute in their swim caps? ;)

They were doing the sprint triathlon, which is a 0.47 mile swim, 12.4 mile bike, and a 3.1 mile run. Once the race started and they headed out for the swim, I walked over to where they would come up out of the water and watched them run over to the transition. Then Stephanie and Tammy (both spectators as well) and I all ran over to watch them head out on their bikes. Tammy and I found a good spot to cheer them on about a mile into the run. We cheered for a while and then after they both passed by us, we ran to the finish line to see them finish.

I wasn't expecting all the running around, but it was a lot of fun! After Andrea and Alicia finished, I stayed at the finish line cheering for all the people finishing. I felt bad, because pretty soon, Tammy and I were the ONLY ones standing at the finish chute cheering for the final yards. I'm glad that we stayed, because everyone deserves to have people there at the end!

After the triathlon, I had to go get the kids from the church picnic. Jerry and I stayed for a little while, and we brought a kite for the kids to fly. It had been sitting in our hall closet for about three years!

It's a robot kite--they got it pretty high up there!

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This morning, I got up and went for a run as soon as Jerry got home at 6:30. My plan was to do the first day's workout of marathon training (just to test it out--marathon training doesn't actually start until June 18th). It was a 50-minute run with 6 pick-ups (30 seconds of fast running). So I set my Garmin for intervals--8 minutes of easy running at a 10:30-ish pace, followed by 30-seconds of a 8:00-8:30-ish pace. Then repeat for a total of 6 times.

By mile three, my knee was killing me. I took a walk break, and then decided to head directly home for a total of only 4 miles rather than the 50-minutes I was "supposed" to do. Again, so frustrated I wanted to cry.

These splits are done by time--8 minutes followed by 30 seconds. It ended up being 4 miles in 40:34 (a 10:08 pace overall), which is actually a little faster than I was going for.

After running, I had to shower and head out for an OB/GYN appointment. It was a follow-up appointment after my colposcopy. The doctor explained the results and what everything meant, and said I didn't need the D&C after all (yay!!). The colp was totally normal. He wants me to repeat my pap smear in 3 months, but he's sure that it will be normal, so he said not to worry about anything at all.

On the way home, I stopped at the running store for some new shoes. My Brooks Adrenalines are getting up there in mileage, and I decided to try out a different shoe this time, to see if it might help with my knee pain. I explained all the issues I've had with the woman working there, and she brought out a bunch of different shoes. I was really surprised that my favorite fit were actually the Mizuno Wave Inspire 8's. I've only ever worn Brooks, so it's kind of scary to switch brands. But we'll see what happens!

I had to get a size 10 wide!! In everyday shoes, I wear an 8.5 regular; in my Brooks Adrenaline's, I wear 9.5 wide. The saleswoman told me that these Mizuno's run a half-size short, so I should get a 10. And she was right. They're really comfy and not as heavy as the Adrenaline's. But I haven't run in them yet, so the true test will be on Wednesday.

As soon as I got home, I scheduled an appointment with a sports medicine doc about my knee. I really hope that he doesn't tell me I can't run. But my knee hasn't gotten any better and it's been months since I injured it, so who knows. And the last thing I want to do is go through months of marathon training with my knee feeling like it is. So I'm praying he just tells me to strength train, stretch, and maybe foam-roll or something.

So that is my weekend (and Monday) in a nutshell.

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Reader Questions & Answers #15

On Sundays, I will answer some readers' questions in a post. If you have a question that you would like me to answer here on the blog, just send me an e-mail with the subject "Q&A", and I may include them in a future Q&A post. They don't have to be about weight loss or running--anything is game!  (Remember, I'm not a doctor or dietician, or any sort of medical professional--I can only answer questions from my own experience).

Q. I have been running for about 6 months.  I try to run slowly, but I am still always out of breath  (not so much that I need to stop--I can go 3-4 miles--but I feel like I'm panting like crazy compared to the super fit runners I see on the trails).  I always wear a heart monitor and my heart rate is also always VERY high.  

I've talked to my MD about it and she said it's nothing to worry about.  However, I feel like my running fitness is not improving.  I am able to run farther distances, and sometimes it is easier than others, but overall I feel stuck.  Did you ever have this issue?  Did you notice that your average heart rate was lower as you continued to run and/or improved your running?

A. If your heart rate is always very high, it might not be the greatest indicator of whether your fitness is improving. It's good that you talked to your doctor about it, and that she said it's nothing to worry about. But do you notice that your breathing is a little labored and your muscles feel like they're really working when you run? 

If your heart rate is always high, you might want to judge your effort level by your breathing instead. When I do my long, easy runs, I can carry on a conversation pretty easily. It might be a little choppier than when I'm sitting and talking, but I can talk. When I'm racing for a PR, I can barely get out a word or two and I'm gasping for breath at the end. Those are the two opposite ends of the spectrum. 

I find that I improve the most when I run somewhere in-between for most of my runs--an effort level of about a 7 (on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the hardest effort). In the beginning, an effort of 7 would put me at a pace of about an 11:15 mile--and now, when I run at that effort level, I run about a 9:20 mile. I'm putting in the same effort, but going faster, so I know that my fitness level has improved. (But to answer your question, yes--my average heart rate lowered as I got fitter). I still have good runs and bad runs, though--some days an effort of 7 would put me at a 10:30 pace, just because it's hot outside, I'm hungover not feeling well, etc. 

Overall, I wouldn't worry too much about it. As long as you're pushing yourself (and not feeling so relaxed that you could take a nap!) your fitness will improve.

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Q. When you were losing weight and had a binge, did you calculate/count all of the calories from the binge?

A. I went an entire year without a single binge, and when I did finally binge, I was so angry at myself! But yes, I added up the calories (the best that I could). I would estimate as honestly as possible how much I ate of each food item and tally up the calories. Most of the time, this would help me to realize that the damage wasn't actually as bad as I thought, and if I got right back on track, it would only set me back a pound or so. 

When I didn't write it down, I would imagine that I had eaten tens of thousands of calories and that I might as well give up. Writing it down is a reality check that could be good or bad, but definitely REAL. And it may help you!

Here's an actual binge from my food log

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Q. When I run, my hands go numb. I also tend to make a fist while I'm running if I don't consciously think to keep my hands relaxed. Does this ever happen to you/what do you do to prevent it?

A. This used to happen to me when I was overweight. A lot of times, people who are overweight, and/or don't exercise, have poor circulation. This was the case with me, and it caused my hands to go numb--both while exercising and even while sleeping, knitting, or typing. As I lost weight, it happened less and less frequently, until it just never happened at all. 

When you say you make a fist, are you clenching your fist? It's okay to make a fist with your hands while you run, but you should keep them loose--not clenched. At first, it's hard to get used to keeping your upper body relaxed while you run, but you can waste a lot of effort by clenching your fists (or hunching your shoulders, like some people do). It's best to keep your upper body relaxed.

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And now a question for all of you...
What do you do to de-stress? I feel SO stressed out lately, and I need some suggestions to help me get over it! I already exercise, which is supposedly the best way to relieve stress. Unfortunately, my favorite way to de-stress is to eat!

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Rik's story

I am so excited to introduce you to Rik. Rik e-mailed me shortly after my skin removal surgery to say that he just had the same surgery, and he enjoyed reading my blog about what to expect. We talked about Ragnar Relay, and he said he would love to get together a team of people like us--who had lost a lot of weight and become runners in the process. He could captain the team (a job I was terrified of), and I could find people to fill the team. It worked out perfectly.

Since then, I've definitely come to think of Rik as a friend. As silly as it sounds, Rik has this very calming effect on me. When I feel anxious (like I did the night before my marathon), I like to call him to talk and he has a way of making me feel better. He makes the perfect captain for our team! While I could go on and on about Rik, I will let him share his personal journey. His story is a little longer than the others I've posted, but Rik doesn't have a blog--so I don't want to cut out any of his story. It's totally worth the read!

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As long as I can remember, I have always been fat. It was always just a matter of HOW fat.

Rik "before"

I come from a long line of fat people and great cooks, and grew up with an extended family that believed very strongly that you show love with good food. I have always been trying to lose weight. I can remember logging calories in a notebook every day in middle school, and attending Weight Watchers meetings in high school. Nothing worked.

Of course, I hadn’t tried getting off my butt. It pretty much never occurred to me. I was the last kid picked for the team in gym class. I didn’t worry too much about it though, because my parents had always put all the emphasis on academics. If it wasn’t for gym class, I’d have been on the honor roll every quarter!

Between my freshman and sophomore years of college, I worked third shift stocking shelves at a grocery store, and I didn’t have a car yet, so I biked back and forth to work. At the end of that summer, I also had my wisdom teeth out, and pretty much didn’t eat for a week. I went back to school at 169 pounds. It was the first time my weight matched my height, and I was thrilled!

But I somehow didn’t put together the hard work of the summer with the weight loss, and as soon as I got back to my college routine, that weight started coming back. I felt powerless to stop it. I graduated college in 1992 and married Cynthia, my college sweetheart, at age 22. And over the next 15 years, I watched my weight slowly but steadily continue to increase, topping out at 275.

As I mentioned, I come from a close family. My dad is one of my heroes, and I've taken a lot of cues from him regarding what’s important in life, and how to live it. For the most part, that’s a very good thing. But I also have his genes, and his love of good food, and his prioritizing of mental pursuits over physical ones. Over the last several years, I have seen him struggle with health challenges: he is significantly overweight, has back trouble, a heart stent, and is diabetic.

And one day, at age 38, it hit me. Looking at my dad, I was looking at a preview of coming attractions. I was starting to see the beginnings of some ill health effects for myself: borderline high blood pressure, sleep apnea, low energy. I was just exhausted all the time. It was as if I was never fully awake during the day, nor fully asleep at night. And I had spent over 10 years on medication for a digestive disorder that had pretty much turned me into a shut-in. I could tell you the location every public bathroom in the city. And I thought, if I don’t do something, right now, this is as good as it gets for the rest of my life.

I should mention that I also have my dad's proud and stubborn streak, which makes me insist on solving my problems on my own and not admitting when I need help, thinking it to be a sign of weakness. But after trying and failing to lose weight a million times, something had to give. I finally got humble, and admitted that I needed to call in an expert. It was January of 2008.

As they say, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. And that's when I met my personal trainer, Myra, the woman who would save my life. Myra is a personal trainer that Cynthia met at the gym. They got to talking, and we arranged for Myra to come to the house and meet me. I was so embarrassed to even talk to her. I remember when she asked me during our first session about my goals, I didn’t really have any. And I thought, what an idiot. I should have a goal! But I didn’t know what it should be. I said something non-committal about having her teach me some exercises so that I could do them myself.

Our exercise session was one hour, with her doing most of the talking and leading me through some exercises in my basement rec room. I remember it was very uncomfortable and embarrassing, and I didn’t say much. I couldn’t do one push up. But she was SO encouraging and so positive, I thought, well maybe I should stick with this.

We met one hour each Thursday night, and it seemed like a LOT of work. I would drag myself up the stairs at the end, dripping with sweat. And Cynthia was always at the top of the stairs in the kitchen, wanting to hear how it went, with a proud look on her face. I love that look! And Myra would tell her in glowing terms how well I did. It was a little embarrassing to hear, but I eventually got to like it.

Myra and I did that for six months, until, at some point, it just seemed like part of my weekly routine. At that point, we added a second hour on Monday nights. Something weird happened. I started looking forward to our sessions. That was new! And Myra and Cynthia continued to cheer me on, so I just worked all the harder.

At the new year, 2009, Myra asked me again to set a goal. I said (and I honestly have no idea where this came from) that I would like to try jogging. I’ve seen people in my neighborhood doing it, and they look like they are having fun. But again, I had to admit I didn’t know something--I had no idea how to run! Fortunately, I own a treadmill, so Myra said, "No problem, I will talk you through it." And after we cleared all the hanging clothes off the treadmill, dusted it off and plugged it in, she had me up on it and talked me through the basics of a running stride.

Rik "after"

Myra and I started dedicating the beginning of each of our sessions to treadmill time, and after about six weeks, I was able to go a mile without stopping. It took 14 minutes, but it was a mile. I remember Myra asking me how I felt, and I said I felt like I could do anything. And I meant it! It was the best feeling!

Not long after that, I started training for my first 5k, three months away, in March. I remember showing up that day VERY self-conscious and nervous, thinking everyone around me could tell that I was new to this, that I didn’t belong there. My goal was to run the whole distance without needing to stop and walk. And I did it. Another victory, and this time, the feeling of being able to do anything lasted all weekend.

From there, I was hooked. I set a new running goal every three months, eventually leading to my first marathon in October of 2010. I was running on my own multiple days per week, and I LOVED my training. Myra tweaked our sessions to complement the running. I even took up yoga to help build flexibility, to help with the running. I built distance and speed, and confidence. And I met a bunch of new friends along the way, including a whole Ragnar team.

And the weight just FELL off. (You can watch it happen on fast-forward in a little video at the end of this post). I dropped 90 pounds, and all the ill health effects I was suffering have vanished. My blood pressure dropped 30 points, my cholesterol dropped 100 points. My doctor was amazed. No more medication, no more staying home while everyone goes out to have fun.  

My weight settled at about 185. At that point, I just maintained for about a year to make sure I was truly done. In September of 2011, I went in to consult with a plastic surgeon about the extra skin around my midsection, and he confirmed that I indeed just had skin there, that there wasn’t fat there anymore. It was hard to believe, because what I saw in the mirror just didn’t match what I hearing. But I booked the surgery for December of 2011, again deciding to trust the expert.

Rik was EXTREMELY nervous to post this picture, but I told
him he looks fantastic and has nothing to be ashamed of.
Now he doesn't even look like he was ever overweight!

Cynthia stumbled across Katie’s blog while researching the weight loss skin removal surgery. I was shocked. Katie and I had been on a common path for a couple years, and here she was having the same surgery as me, just three weeks ahead of me. Her honest and detailed account helped me tremendously. It was like looking three weeks into my own future. Katie’s blog was more informative than anything else I had read, or even what I had heard from the surgeon.

While I was laid up for six weeks recovering, I reached out to Katie to thank her. And we hit upon this idea to put together a Ragnar relay team made up of people with stories like ours. You’ll be hearing a LOT more about this project as it develops, on Katie’s blog, on our team’s Facebook page, and hopefully a lot of other places!

As I write this, I am a few weeks away from running my fourth marathon. I’ve decided to set a lifetime goal to run a marathon in every state, and so my next one is June 23 in Anchorage, Alaska. My brother lives there and he hasn’t seen me in person in about three years.

The person I was five years ago would not recognize me anymore. And at last, I finally know I will never go back. I’ve worked too hard and I feel too good to go back. And I got so much help getting here, I feel strongly about helping others achieve success. Instead of going back, it’s now time to pay it forward.

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Pecan pancakes

Today was Jen and Angela's last day in Michigan. They spent the morning getting some work done at my parents' house, and I met Renee for coffee. I got there before Renee, and when I ordered my coffee, I accidentally ordered a regular coffee instead of decaf. I hadn't had regular coffee in 8 months!! I was worried how it was going to affect me, but I just decided to drink it anyways.

Renee showed up shortly after, and it was really good to talk to her. She told me about the job that she was applying for, and we talked a little bit about marathon training. She's going to be running the NYC marathon this fall. I'm really excited for her, since this was her fourth year applying! She knew that if she applied three years in a row and didn't make it, she would automatically be "in" the fourth year--and she was (they just changed that rule, unfortunately, so you truly have to win the lottery to get in from now on). So she'll be training right around the same time as when I'm training for Detroit. (She's much faster than me, so unfortunately, I won't be doing my runs with her).

She said she definitely thinks I can aim higher on my time goal for the marathon. Rik said the same thing when I talked to him the other night. So I'm going to re-evaluate my goal and pick a time that I have to work for, but not strive for something out-of-reach. Not sure what it will be yet. I'm going to come up with an "A-goal" a "B-goal" and a "C-goal".

On the way home from my meeting with Renee, I started to get really jittery. My hands were trembling like crazy. But when I got in the house, the last thing I wanted to do was sit down, so I started cleaning. I actually wanted to clean! So I think I made a decision to start drinking regular coffee again, hahaha. I actually got some housework done, which was badly needed.

After that, Angela and Jennifer came over for our last filming before they were going back home. They wanted to film me blogging (which they were actually doing as I wrote the first three paragraphs of this blog); as well as film me talking about our team and how we are getting to know each other and become great friends via our team Facebook page. This is kind of a cool picture of Angela filming me while I was blogging...

After we were done filming that, we decided to go to Cracker Barrel for lunch. Angela wanted to go because she's never been to one! I always thought Cracker Barrel was a big chain that was everywhere, but Angela said they don't have them in L.A. As they were packing up their camera equipment, Estelle decided she had enough of living with us, and she packed herself up in the camera case...

She actually fit in that spot perfectly. I almost had Jennifer convinced to take Paolo with her, but she said she didn't think her landlord would let her have a cat. Bummer! (And no, I haven't given up hope finding Paolo a home that isn't mine!). I wanted to get a picture with them before they left, of course...

I look so short ;)  That is Jennifer on the left and Angela on the right. After that, we all headed to Cracker Barrel with Jerry and the boys. I got the pecan pancakes, and they were delicious!! I decided that the pecan pancakes will be my treat after my long runs for my marathon training... definitely something to look forward to!

Then it was time to say good-bye, because Jennifer and Angela had to head to the airport. I was so sad to see them leave! It was a lot of fun to hang out with them for the past few days. I won't see Jennifer again until we're in Miami. Angela is going to come here to film Rik and I meeting for the first time in October when we run the Detroit Marathon together.

Now it's back to reality. I have a TON of laundry to catch up on, as well as e-mail, blog reading, and some other blog-related stuff. But Jerry is off this weekend, so I plan on spending quality time with him and the boys as my top priority. What a fun few days it has been!

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Feeling overwhelmed

I had another great day with Jennifer and Angela! Last night, Renee came over and met them (over wine, of course!). I'm glad that she was able to, because I really wanted her and Jessica to meet the people I've been talking about (and will be talking about for months to come).

This morning, after I got the kids off to school, I went over to my mom's and we chatted over coffee for a little bit. They suggested getting some footage of Jessica and I running together, since we trained for the marathon together. So Jessica came over and we all walked down the road to film.

We just did a few shots of Jessica and I running, and I talked a little bit about our training. A very simple day today ;) Then we headed out to lunch. I really wanted to take Jennifer and Angela to La Pita--since everyone who tries it LOVES it--so that's where we went. I got my usual, which you've seen on the blog a thousand times...

The chicken kabob with hummus, garlic sauce, rice, salad, and (of course) warm pitas. When I start to feel full, I always tell myself, "Just one more bite." But it's just so good that I can't help eating more and more! I ate almost everything on my plate today.

After lunch, Jennifer and Angela came with me to pick up the kids from the bus stop. Angela brought the camera to film some "everyday stuff" that I do, but my life is seriously SOOO boring. I feel bad that they don't have much to film. We chatted at my house for a little while and then it was time for the kids' baseball practice, so Jennifer and Angela came along.

I was feeling really guilty for being such a boring hostess, but Noah and Eli's practices were at two different schools, so my dad couldn't take over for today--I had to take Eli to practice while he stayed with Noah. Jennifer and Angela stayed at the practice for about 20 minutes and then left to go work with the footage they'd gotten over the past two days.

At baseball practice, Eli was extremely excited for his turn to bat. On Tuesday, he'd gotten three hits to the outfield, and he was really proud of that. Today, he was hoping to repeat that. When it was his turn, he hit the first ball just past the pitcher. The second one was really short, just a few yards in front of him. I could tell he was discouraged, and I saw him get really determined for his third hit.

He smoked the ball HARD--right into the pitcher's eye. It seriously hit him square in the eye, poor kid. He was crying, and ran over to his dad. All the parents were worried about the kid who was hit, and Eli wasn't really sure if he could be excited about his hit or not. I had him apologize to the boy, but I told him that he had a great hit.

When Eli was practicing, I got this really horrible feeling of being overwhelmed--it was like a blanket just draped over my shoulders, weighing me down. I'm feeling so guilty--like I'm neglecting everyone in my life. I feel like a bad wife, a bad mother, and a bad friend. I've barely seen Jerry lately, my parents have had to help out with watching my kids way too much recently, and I feel like I'm losing touch with my friends because all of this stuff going on with ME (my blog; Fitness magazine; The Ragnar Relay project and documentary; the marathon).

Renee is applying for a new job, and I was looking forward to hearing about it, but I forgot to ask her about it last night over wine, and I feel bad about that. I know that all of this is just my depression going through a bad spell right now, but I really hate this feeling. And of course, the lump in my throat is back. Jerry is off work tomorrow and Saturday, so I'm going to try and spend some quality time with him, as well as do something fun with the kids.

The kids have been really cute lately, which makes me feel even worse. Eli keeps asking me if he can get his ears pierced, hahaha. I didn't tell him no, but I really hope he changes his mind! I think I will buy him magnetic ones. ;)  My mom told me another funny thing he said--he asked my mom if penises have bones. I cracked up at that one. Tomorrow is their last day of school. I can't believe how fast they are growing!

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