Cleveland, Day 2

Oh, my nerves!

Less than 12 hours to the start of the marathon as I type this. I wish I could say that I was super excited, but the truth is, I'm terrified. I keep thinking, "What if I don't finish?" because everybody knows about this. I can't hide it if I don't finish. Everyone will know I failed.

Today was a really rough day. I was so tempted to just pack up and go home. My kids were driving me CRAZY with the fighting, and the whining, and the "I'm tired!" and "I'm hungry!" and "I don't want to go there!" and all that.

We took the kids to the Brown's stadium for the kids fun run at 11. My kids have never done a race before, and they were really nervous about it. I had to bribe them in order to get them to agree to the race. It was organized into age groups, which was nice--Eli ran with the 4-6 years olds (100 yards) and Noah ran with the 7-8 year olds (1/4 mile, one lap around the football field).

The 4-6 year olds at the starting line

 There was a LOT of waiting around, and people speaking, which I thought was ridiculous--kids don't have an attentions span for that! But finally, it was time to start. Eli's went first--there were tons of kids, and it was hard to see him. But once the gun sounded the clown counted down, it was easier to spot him. I was so proud of him!! He ran across the field like a champ, and Jerry was waiting at the other end for him.

Then it was Noah's turn. Again, a LOT of kids--but his age group was divided into boys and girls, so it was a little easier to spot him. I got choked up as I watched--he was one of the last kids (probably about 4-5 kids behind him), but he never broke stride or anything. He just kept going, and then he sprinted at the very end and passed a bunch of kids. I was surprised he had any energy left--usually kids will sprint from the start on their first race, and then have to walk it in. I kept reminding Noah to start slow ;)

With their medals after the race

 I can never deny that they are my children...

We run for COOKIES!!

Shortly after that, Eli started complaining that his rib was hurting, and Noah was complaining that his heel was hurting. They were both hungry, tired, and driving me crazy. That's when I started to lose it. I was pissed that they couldn't give me this ONE WEEKEND to be happy for me and let me be stress-free. I explained that running a marathon is a big deal to me, like a birthday is to them--and that they should treat me special, like I do on their birthdays. Noah was really good, but Eli was pouting and mad at me all afternoon.

We went to the expo before dinner.

Jessica and me

I picked up my packet, and then shopped around. We got a ton of free stuff! Jerry and each of the kids won a Starkist tuna t-shirt, and Starkist was handing out tons of packs of tuna. We ended up with all this:

Good thing I'm a fan of tuna. We also got a t-shirt for pledging to ride our bikes more often. I bought a few things, too. I got some Gu for tomorrow (I found the Chocolate Mint flavor I've been looking everywhere for), and two new stickers for my car. The one I have on there now says, "13.1 miles 'cause I'm only HALF-crazy". But that won't be relevant after tomorrow, so I am going to replace it with a regular old 13.1 sticker. And then I got a 26.2 one that says, "26.2 miles. Been there. Run that."

I really like the race shirts we got. The color is awesome!! And there is a cool guitar on the back...

 When I saw my bib, the whole thing got very real and scary. Like, I'm actually going to run a marathon tomorrow. Twenty-six point fucking two miles. Who DOES THAT?!

 My kids have lots of confidence in me :)  They made me these signs when they stayed the night at my parents' house on Thursday...

Eli sounded out "Katie", obviously;  that's a cookie, and water bottle, and me
holding a water bottle. And flowers. He said the blue thing in the middle was a
tear drop--not sure what that is about!

Noah, promoting Runs for Cookies ;)

I took the advice of Rik, the captain of my Ragnar team, and made a pre-marathon video. I mostly made this for myself, but I figured I would share it with all of you, so you can see how I'm feeling about this whole thing.

Here goes nothing....

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Cleveland (Day 1)

I'm here in Cleveland! I can't believe it's actually the marathon weekend. I'm terrified out of my mind, but there really is no turning back now. I didn't get much any packing done yesterday, so I had to get up early today and pack. Estelle was extremely curious, per usual:

We finally headed out at about nine o'clock this morning. We had just gotten on the Ohio turnpike (a toll road that has VERY few exits) when Eli said he had to go to the bathroom. And not just pee, either. We started waiting for an exit, and I got worried he was seriously going to poop his pants in the car. I was tempted to just pull over and let him go outside, but we finally saw an exit to another highway. We found a gas station in the middle of nowhere.

Of course they didn't have public restrooms, and they told us we had to use the porta-potty outside behind the building. A six-year old boy, porta-potties, and a germaphobe mom don't mix very well. Jerry just took care of Eli and I sat in the car pretending that he was in a nice, clean restroom somewhere. So our drive started off very well! I read my Runner's World magazine, and I read something that I found hysterical (and totally something I would write!):

Awesome!

The hotel said we could check in early, so we went right there and unloaded our stuff. Then we decided to go to Melt Bar & Grilled for lunch. I had seen it on The Food Network, and I'd heard really good things about it. When we got there, I immediately thought, "This place is awesome!" The decorations were really fun. When the host took my name to wait for a table, they had me pull a fake name tag from a basket... and I laughed when I saw it:

"San Dimas High School football rules!"

The menu was amazing. They had some really creative sandwich concoctions! They had a special that looked extremely interesting, and I was tempted to order it just for the novelty of it. But I'm not a huge "deep fried sandwich" kind of girl.

"The Glazed & Very Confused Donut Bacon Burger Melt"... an 8-oz ground steak
burger; crisp hickory bacon; glazed donut; herb cream cheese; sweet berry
jalapeno jam; then slathered in donut batter and deep fried to sweet perfection.

Crazy, right?! I didn't want to get a "plain Jane" sandwich, so I picked something that sounded like it might be really good. The "Turtle Pizza Roll Melt", which was described on the menu as: "authentic pizza rolls, homemade marinara, basil pesto cream cheese, provolone & romano". The "authentic pizza rolls" cracked me up--no off-brand pizza rolls for this sandwich! ;)

When the food came, I was kind of shocked at how huge it was:

Ohmygoodnessgracious, I am not lying when I say that was the BEST sandwich I've ever had!! It was SO good. Before I took a bite, I figured I'd eat half so that I wouldn't get too full. But once I ate a bite, I just couldn't stop. I ate the entire sandwich, about 1/3 of the fries, and about five bites of the coleslaw (the coleslaw was good, but I wanted to fill my belly with the REALLY good stuff). The basil pesto cream cheese was amazing.

When we left Melt, we went to the Great Lakes Science Center. Jerry and I went there before, and I remembered enjoying it; but today, I wasn't impressed. We spent $55 for the four of us to get in, and about half of the exhibits weren't working. We were done in about 20 minutes, but then there was a play area that the kids played in for a long time--so at least they had fun doing that.

When we were done with the Science Center, we came back to the hotel because the boys were excited to swim. Tomorrow, the kids are actually going to do the Kids Fun Run--I'm so glad that they want to do it! I had to bribe them--I told them I would give them each a Gu before the race if they would do it, lol. Then we'll probably meet up with Jessica, Renee, and Andrea. Not sure exactly what our plans are for the afternoon, but we have dinner reservations at Buca di Beppo tomorrow to carb load.

By the way, thank you so much for the nice comments on my post yesterday! I was embarrassed posting those pictures, but from what you said, it sounds like I'm just being too hard on myself. I wish I didn't see all my flaws, but it's hard for me to see what other people see. I'm glad I picked the looser yellow shirt--especially after that sandwich I ate today! ;)

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The lumps and bumps

This will be the last you read about my damn marathon outfit, I promise! I went to Dunham's today to return the wrong-size capris, and while I was there, I searched for another outfit. I found a yellow shirt to possibly wear with my yellow slash capris, so I picked that up to try on. I also picked out a light turquoise shirt and capris to match (although they weren't as cute as the slash capris).

Some of you mentioned that you don't see how I could have "lumps and bumps", so I will show you a picture of what I'm talking about. This takes a lot of courage to post, so please be nice! I will show you comparisons of shirts. These are all the same brand (Under Armour), but different sizes and fits...

Cringe! These are the lumps and bumps I was talking about.

Way too see-through! You can see my belly button.

This is the one I'm going to wear. It's not to tight, not too loose, and it matches my capris!

Despite the fact that the yellow is kind of see-through, I'm going to wear the semi-fitted yellow shirt with the yellow slash capris. Please don't tell me it's the wrong choice, because I'm so sick of thinking about this stupid outfit! I'm going to have my waist-pack (water bottle thing) on, so my stomach won't even be too visible regardless.

See what I mean, by clothes hiding a lot of flaws? Since I just had a lower body lift, my upper body still has a lot of excess skin. My arms are the worst, but also under my arms, and even my upper back. It's not "fat", you can see bulges from my loose skin. I'm not too worried about it. The stomach REALLY bothered me (obviously, because I had the skin removed); but the upper body is just normal annoyances, I think. I just have to take care when picking out clothes.

So I finally got that taken care of. I just took the shirt to a place about 30 minutes away to have my blog address printed on the back, as well as my name printed on the front... they told me it would take 3 days. I was really bummed! So I won't have that stuff on there, but at this point, I really don't care. I just want to be done thinking about the clothes.

Jessica and I had our LAST training run today!! It was a 2-miler... and no, that's not a typo. Two miles. We actually met at a frozen custard shop and ran one mile out and then back. We did our fastest pace to date, I'm sure... a 9:29/mi pace.

I kept telling Jessica we were going too fast, and she better not pull that shit on Sunday, or she'll be running alone. It barely felt like we even started our run before we had to turn around. We finished and ordered frozen yogurt, of course! They had strawberry and chocolate, so I ordered a twist of the two. Jessica just ordered the strawberry.

Supposedly, the 4-oz serving of frozen yogurt was only 70 calories! I should go there more often. That was totally worth 70 calories.

Tomorrow morning, Jerry, me, and the boys are leaving for Cleveland. We're probably going to go to the zoo and maybe the science center tomorrow. Jessica isn't leaving for Cleveland until Saturday, so I'll meet up with her then. Renee and Andrea are going as well, and they will be our cheerleaders on Sunday. I am SO excited that they are going to be there! They've both run marathons before, so they know how big of a deal this is to Jessica and me.

I'm going to bring my computer with me, to hopefully write a blog at the hotel on Friday and Saturday, but I don't know for sure if I'll have internet access. If not, you'll probably get a race report on Sunday night--if I survive, that is! ;)

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High-maintenance

I (finally) got my Under Armour shipment today. Remember how I was looking for the "slash" capris for my marathon? I couldn't find any in stock at any of the stores around here (I tried two Dunham's, and three Dick's), so I had to order them online. I also ordered a yellow top to match.

This is the back of the outfit

I love the capris! They are super cute and comfy. But I can't wear the top :(  It's the perfect match as far as the yellow goes; but I don't have the body to wear a very light-colored top like that. You can see my lumps and bumps and it makes me feel self-conscious. Since it is a "fitted" shirt (which runs smaller than the other UA shirts I have), I ordered a medium. But even a medium fits pretty snugly. It would be fine if it was black, but with a see-through color like yellow, I don't want it to be snug. I wish that I had been able to order the blue or green, but they were out of stock even on the website.

After I tried the yellow stuff on, I decided to go to our local Dunham's and see what I could find there. They actually had the slash capris in stock! They had the orange color and the gray color. They had one size small left of the orange, so I bought them. I found a matching shirt, and got that too. I will just return the yellow items online.

When I got home and tried them on, the capris felt a little loose going on. I looked at the tag, and they said medium--they were on the wrong fucking hanger at the store. I could probably get by with them, but I don't want to have to keep tugging on the back of them, pulling them up if they droop. So tomorrow I will go back to Dunham's to return them. If they have the gray ones in my size, I might get those. I really do like them! I just wanted to buy a complete outfit.

Now I'm clueless as to what I'll wear for the marathon. I might just wear my go-to outfit of my black UA capris and top, and throw a sparkle skirt over it. Or maybe I'll dig out that purple shirt I made with my name on the front, and have never worn.

I have NEVER been "that girl", who frets over what to wear--particularly when I run! I'm always mismatched, wearing whatever is most comfortable. But for my first and only marathon, I wanted to have a cute outfit for pictures. I just shouldn't have waited until the last two weeks to figure it out.

(Speaking of Under Armour, the UA giveaway for the $500 gift card ends on the 21st, so if you haven't yet entered, you can do so on this post.)

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I've had a bad couple of days with my eating. I've been feeling stressed out and a little depressed, and I've used food to make me feel better. I'm glad that I at least recognize that, and I'm not making excuses. It's just hard to stop! I've been eating two large bowls of cereal as a snack. I never used to be a cereal person when I was overweight; but now, I could go through an entire box of cereal in one day. I don't want it to turn into one of the things I can't keep in the house, so I really need to watch it.

I'm a little nervous about going to Cleveland--not just for the marathon, but because of the food. I always gain weight on trips (even 10 pounds in a weekend), and I don't want that to have a big effect on my race performance. My plan is to eat intuitively, focusing on carbs, with as little grease as possible. Not much fiber, either. I don't want any tummy issues on race day! We have reservations at Buca di Beppo for Saturday night--so I will carb load, but not too much. The only good thing about being so nervous is that I probably won't have much of an appetite.

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We're coming home immediately after the race on Sunday, which is probably for the best. I'm not expecting to feel like walking around the city doing touristy stuff! ;)  Jerry and I have been to Cleveland a few times, and we really liked it. That's why I was excited to do the Cleveland marathon. Gosh, I can't wait until Monday! ;)

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Drowning in sweat

The temperature in Cleveland for the marathon on Sunday just keeps climbing...

I know, I know, some of you think it's funny that I consider 80 degrees to be hot. But Michigan 80 and, say, Arizona 80, are totally different. When I was in Arizona last year, it was 110 degrees--and it felt more like 90 degrees to me. Michigan is VERY humid, so 80 will make me drown in sweat.

I ran four miles today and it was 73 degrees--I was drenched in sweat after just 2 miles. I know that worrying about the weather isn't going to change anything, so I will try to just let it be. I just hope that over the next 5 days, the forecast will come down to about 46 degrees and overcast. That's not asking too much, is it?! ;)

I forgot just how terrifying it can be to run in the springtime. Last year, I was attacked by a blackbird! It was the scariest moment I've ever experienced while running, and that includes being hit by a car and being bitten by 3 different dogs (not all at the same time, fortunately). The birds must get really protective of their babies, because they pitch a big fit at me while I run.

I had forgotten about it until today, when I ran onto the peninsula and the birds started making all kinds of noises and one swooped down very close to my head. I have no idea what a pissed off bird looks like, but these birds definitely looked pissed. I spent the next two miles jumping at every tweet I heard. I remember watching the movie The Birds when I was kid, and my parents talked about how scary it was when they first saw it. I kept thinking it was dumb, and not scary at all--they were just BIRDS, after all. But now I know just how scary birds can be!

I tried to take it easy on my run today, to save up my energy for the weekend. It wasn't too hard to hold a slower pace since I was constantly looking over my shoulder head for angry birds. I was glad I put sunscreen on before I ran, because I would have been burnt badly if I hadn't--there weren't any clouds today. My skin is so pale that I burn after just 10 minutes in the sun. Ever since I visited my friend Sarah in the hospital, I've been religious about wearing sunscreen, however.

Just FYI, starting tomorrow, I think I am going to start writing my blog posts later, and having them go live at 9 pm EST instead of 5 pm--not that you're all on the edge of your computer seat, waiting for my blog posts or anything! ;)  Since summer is right around the corner, the days will be longer, and I'm going to be spending more time outside--especially in the evenings. My very favorite part of summer is sitting on the back deck with Jerry, drinking a cold beer, and watching the kids play outside. What's your favorite part about summer?

What a whiny post today! Anyone else feel like letting it out and being a crybaby? Go ahead! ;)

(Oh, and for those of you that were curious how Jerry and I met... you can read about that here. Not super interesting, unfortunately!)

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Six days out

Marathon week begins...

I'm sure you are probably just as sick of reading about the marathon as I am of thinking about it. I wish I was excited, but I'm just super nervous. I will just be so happy when it's all over! Jerry, the kids, and I are going down to Cleveland on Friday morning. The marathon isn't until Sunday, so we'll spend some time doing fun things with the kids on Friday and Saturday. Jessica is staying in a hotel with our friends Andrea and Renee, who are coming to cheer us on (how awesome is that?!)

I had a three mile run on the schedule today, so I did that as soon as the boys were on the bus. The whole time I was running, I was thinking about how hard it's going to be to run 26.2 miles on Sunday--and I'm having serious doubts about the whole thing. I did the training, but I just don't feel ready. I guess I won't know for sure until Sunday!

After my run this morning, I showered and got ready for my colposcopy appointment that I've been dreading. I had to go into the procedure room, which I've never had to do before. I took some Motrin before I left home, so I was hoping for a painless procedure.

The whole thing felt a lot like a pap smear, only it took longer (and was more uncomfortable--I don't want to say "less comfortable" because a pap smear isn't exactly comfortable!). She had to put vinegar on my cervix, then look at it under some high-powered microscope. Then she had to take a couple of tissue samples (which was extremely uncomfortable, but not very painful). And the worst part was actually afterward, when she had to apply pressure (to stop the bleeding from where she took the tissue sample). I was just clenching my teeth with my eyes squeezed shut waiting for it to be over. It was such a weird feeling. Then it was done, and there was no pain or anything afterward.

After I left the OB/GYN, I went to Dick's and returned that Nathan's hand held water bottle; then I went to Victoria's Secret to get another free pair of panties. I love that they are sending me coupons for free panties! I have no idea how I got on that mailing list, but it's one mailing list that I don't mind being on. While I was there, I browsed around so I wouldn't look like I was just there for the free panties, and naturally, I ended up buying something black and very lacy. Hahaha, I felt right into that trap!

Del, my friend (and ex-boss from when I worked at Curves) called me this afternoon. She was wondering if I might want to work at Curves again! I talked to her about the hours and all that, but I couldn't commit to it, because I wouldn't have anyone to watch my kids on a routine basis. So I ended up telling her that she could use me as a contingent employee. She'll call me when she needs someone, and if I can work it out, I'll go in and work. Working at Curves was a really fun job, and I would love to go back in there occasionally!

I just realized that today is the anniversary of when I met Jerry...

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Reader Questions & Answers #13

On Sundays, I will answer some readers' questions in a post. If you have a question that you would like me to answer here on the blog, just send me an e-mail with the subject "Q&A", and I may include them in a future Q&A post. They don't have to be about weight loss or running--anything is game!  (Remember, I'm not a doctor or dietician, or any sort of medical professional--I can only answer questions from my own experience).

Q. How did you determine your calorie needs in the beginning?  Did you start with WW and later move to calorie counting? I read in one of your FAQ posts that you didn't start exercising until you were well into your weight loss. I'm already exercising 3-4 days per week. When you started exercising what did that do to your tracking? Me and WW recently broke up so I'm trying to determine how to count calories and activity without their tracker.

A. When I started losing weight in August 2009, I started by counting Weight Watchers Points. I didn't join WW, attend meetings, or use their online program... I just used a paper journal and counted Points from the materials I had at home (previous WW attempts). I wasn't exercising at all at that time.

As I lost weight, the number of Points I was allowed to eat kept dropping. I started to feel like I was starving all the time! I decided to track my calories for a week and see how many calories I was getting from the amount of Points I was allowed. I discovered that I was getting only 1,000-1,200 calories per day! No wonder I felt like I was starving. So I decided to switch over to counting calories alone, and to track them on SparkPeople.com. SparkPeople recommended 1,200-1,550 calories per day, and I tried that for a couple of weeks. I still felt hungry, so I increased my baseline calories (see below) to around 1,600 per day, and was still able to lose weight.

750 calories, and one of my favorite "earned" treats

The number that I aim for each day is what I call my "baseline" calories. That is what I aim to eat when I am not running that day. When I started exercising (after I had lost about 60 pounds), I added half of those calories burned each day to my baseline. So, for example, if I run six miles and burn 600 calories, I would add 300 calories to my baseline of 1,600... making my total 1,900 for the day. Does that make sense?

The only exception I made to this was on my long run days. I chose to allow myself to use ALL the calories earned on my long runs on a special treat--a frosted cookie from Mrs. Fields, ice cream from Maggie Moo's, a big piece of cake, etc. I only do one "long run" per week, so it gave me something to look forward to, rather than dread.

So, to answer your question, there is no right way to determine your calorie needs in the beginning. I had to experiment to find out what worked for me. I knew 1,200 was not enough, and I was NOT happy getting that few calories, so I made up my own "rule". I would start high and see if you lose weight that week, and if not, then lower it a little and try again. Obviously, you want to be able to eat as many calories as possible and still lose weight--so it just takes some experimenting to find out what works for you.

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Q. I know you are training for a marathon and running is the only exercise you do now.  But have you ever thought about anything else for exercise?  Like different classes--Zumba (I love), body pump, spinning, or boot camp. Or if you can't go to classes what about different DVD's? I just wanted to know do you ever change it up.

A. The short answer to this is no. Before losing weight, I never enjoyed exercise--period. I started walking in order to train to walk the half-marathon in Indy. And then I started running only to run a 5K race for my bucket list. I never, ever expected to "become a runner"--I thought I would run that one race and never run another step again.

But somewhere along the way, I really began to develop this love/hate relationship with running, and I got hooked! I love constantly trying to improve my distances and times. I love only competing with MYSELF, and nobody else. I love that it's a solo sport, for the most part--there aren't people watching me, and I don't have to see all my loose skin jiggling in mirrors at a gym. I love how efficient it is--I burn a heck of a lot of calories in just 30 minutes of running.

I've tried a couple of classes with Jessica, and I was horribly uncomfortable the entire time. I'm very uncoordinated and awkward. I think that's another reason I like to run--it just feels like a natural movement to me. I don't have memorize moves and follow instructions. I tried DVD's many times, and just grew frustrated.

I guess I actually LIKE the monotony of running. Since I don't have to think about the movement, my head is clear to think about other things--sometimes I pray, sometimes I plan out what I'm going to make for dinner, sometimes I imagine reaching goals (like crossing the finish line at the marathon). I can see why some people would find running boring when you do it day after day, but I thrive on the "boringness" ;)

I am NOT trying to say there is anything wrong with doing classes or DVD's, however. I think that everyone should do what they enjoy, and if you enjoy your classes, that's great!

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Q. I'm an avid follower of your blog and love the fact that you have about as much enthusiasm toward dreadmill running as I do--however we both know that there are times when it's a necessity. What I'm wondering is whether you have any set dreadmill workout plans that you work from? Do you get them off the net? Make them up yourself? Or do you just see what you fancy on the day? I'd love your thoughts on this as I'm constantly looking for something - anything - to make the dreadmill just that little bit more interesting.

A. Yes, running in place for miles on end is completely boring! When I use the treadmill, it is only out of necessity--when I don't have anyone to watch the kids, or when it's too hot to run outside. I will run in snow and freezing temps, but during the summer, I just can't stand running in the heat. So usually, I will just do what I need to do and get it done. But there are ways of making it go by faster...

I've found that the most enjoyable (least dreadful?) way to do the treadmill is to change something every minute. I might start at 6.0 mph, and then after 1 minute, bump it up to 7.0, then after a minute of that, go down to 5.5, etc. Here are a couple of my favorite treadmill workouts--I've included a run, a walk, and a run/walk for variety (feel free to change the speed settings to whatever numbers are appropriate for you).

This is the run, and at those speeds will total about 5K

 Hopefully that will help prevent boredom! I created these on Excel, so you can make up your own workouts however you'd like.

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And now a question for all of you...

What did you have for breakfast this morning?

Noah asked me if he could make me breakfast. He made me a scrambled egg and toast with butter and grape jelly. I thought it was cute that he asked--my kids don't normally acknowledge Mother's Day! Maybe he's old enough now that he understand it ;)

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How Jen Lost 120 Pounds (A guest post)

I'd like to introduce you to Runner #9  on our Ragnar team, Jen. I actually didn't know Jen when Rik and I started this whole project; but Jennifer, one of the other runners on the team, knew Jen via her blog, and invited her to join the team. I am SO glad that she did--because Jen is perfect for this team! She went from one extreme lifestyle to the other, as you'll read in her story below.

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In 2007, I was extremely overweight (well over 250 pounds at last scale check-I avoided those at all costs) and extremely miserable. I was depressed, lost and miserable with the life I was living. I wanted more for myself, so I sat down and took a long, hard, honest look at the where I was heading. I did not like what I saw and decided that I needed to make some changes. I knew I needed to get healthy, and once I was healthy, I could be a much better person and eventually be a great mother.

In September of 2007, I made a plan and a list of goals. I quit drinking, I quit smoking, and I started exercising. The day I quit smoking was my first time in the gym. I could not walk more than 15 minutes on the treadmill but I kept at it. I went back the next day and walked 16 minutes. I kept going back and doing more. I would see these "fit girls" out running on the roads and I wanted to be that "fit girl" out running! I started losing weight slowly. I was feeling good and starting to enjoy life again. The dark clouds were starting to lift!

Then after a few months, my husband and I discovered we were pregnant. I stayed active through my entire pregnancy and learned about nutrition and clean foods. I wanted to be as healthy as I could for my baby. In October of 2008, after 42 long weeks of pregnancy, I finally had my baby girl via unscheduled c-section. I heard horror stories about post c-section recovery but I felt good and I had new goals to achieve! One week after having Lola, I was out walking every day in the warm fall sunshine with my baby and renewed vigor and motivation to reach my goal of being healthy and being a positive role model for my daughter.

I now had new goals to reach and new motivation. I wanted to be a woman my daughter could always look up to. I wanted to live a life that was healthy and positive. I wanted to be strong-for her and for myself. I did not want to be the "fat mom" and I did not want my daughter growing up unhealthy or to struggle with body image issues. I made a promise to her and to myself that I would do anything and everything I needed to do to achieve a healthy weight and do it in a healthy way!

After fourteen months of hard work (meaning working out consistently and eating real food), I reached my first goal of 100 pounds lost! I learned how to juggle motherhood, how to exercise, to continually make new goals, and live the life I had dreamed about for so long.

I fell in love with my new healthy and active life. I connected with other moms in an online group for new moms to get support, learn about nutrition, share workout tips and get support from one another. I started participating in local road races and enjoyed this tremendously! Running became something I loved to do instead of a means to an end (to burn calories to lose fat).

My husband and parents gave me a great BOB Revolution jogging stroller so I could run any time with the baby. I was learning more and more about myself and found that I was capable of more than I ever gave myself credit for. I placed at several small 5k's and it just pushed me harder to get better. My family would come to each race and it became tradition for me to get a high five from my little girl just after the starting line. I continued setting bigger and better goals and reaching each one of them.

In 2010, I was ready to challenge myself with something new, and I did my first sprint triathlon. It was love at first swim/bike/run. I smiled the entire time and could not believe how much fun I was having. I ended up placing second in my age group at that first race and could not wait to do more! I vowed to learn as much as I could about the sport and immersed myself in the triathlon lifestyle.

I have since competed in many triathlons from sprint distance to half-ironman distance, which is a 1.2 mile swim followed by a 56 mile bike ride and wraps up with a 13.1 mile run. Next year, I will complete my first Ironman distance triathlon with Revolution 3 in Ohio!

The journey I have been on the last several years has not only changed me physically (now ~120lbs gone!) but mentally as well. If only there were a way to show the INSIDE changes that occur... I am strong, determined and have found true joy and passion in my life. Each day is an opportunity to be amazing-in big and small ways. I have become the woman I envisioned just four short years ago-and then some! I am someone that makes my family proud and I am a role model for my daughter.

I live to inspire and want everyone to know that no matter what your goals are, you CAN achieve them. I am now a sponsored triathlete with Revolution 3 triathlon--literally, a dream come true! It is about finding that passion inside of you and chasing those dreams with wild abandon. Once you find that inner fire, that inner drive--there is nothing that can stop you but you!

I am a positive person that is full of energy--every day I have a smile plastered across my face because I cannot believe I am living my dreams...

...and it all started with just one step in the right direction and not stopping. Don't be afraid to take that step.

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Make sure you check out Jen's blog at Miles, Muscles, & Mommyhood!

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The missing journal

Last night, I was trying to plan out my food for today, and I was having a really hard time coming up with lunch ideas. Lunch is a really difficult meal for me, because I can never come up with something I get excited about eating (like I do with breakfast and dinner). I told Jerry that I wished I could find my stupid food journal from when I was tracking my food just before I broke my jaw.

This may seem crazy, but I still have every food log from when I was losing weight (and even food logs from many years ago!). I just can't bring myself to get rid of them.

However, I was midway through a food journal in November 2010 when I broke my jaw--which resulted in not counting calories or logging my food for the next year or more. Somehow, that journal went missing while I was in the hospital. I searched my house more than a few times, and couldn't find it.

I wanted it so that I could see what/how I had been eating prior to fainting. I had turned my house upside down on at least two occasions looking for it, until I was finally convinced that it was accidentally thrown away. Then last night, when I mentioned it to Jerry, he decided to start looking (again). I think he was sick of my bitching about it ;) He was really determined to find it, despite the fact that we had already looked EVERYWHERE on more than one occasion.

Jerry has a calming effect on me, and I like to give some problems to him to solve, because it makes me less stressed--which is what I did with this journal. Sometimes if I can't find something, I'll ask him to look and then I'll leave the house for a couple of hours, and when I return, it's there for me. So last night, I wanted him to find the journal so badly that I told him I would have sex with him for 30 days in a row if he could find it (lol, I knew he wouldn't find it, but I was trying to give him a big motivation, hoping that he would!) I laid on the bed while he searched. He couldn't understand how it was missing and why it wasn't with the rest of them (which I keep in a shoe box. So I showed him the shoe box, which I had gone through at least three dozen times looking for the journal.

He pulled one out and flipped it open, while I was telling him it wasn't there--and then he said, "Isn't this it? This was right before you broke your jaw". I snatched it out of his hands, and sure enough--it was the missing journal! I swear on my life I looked there, went through each and every book over and over, and it wasn't there. Yet, somehow, it was. I was thrilled that it was found--and so was Jerry ;)

The book didn't offer much insight to anything, but I got an idea for lunch today--polenta with an egg on top. Other than that, it was pretty much useless.

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Today was my last long run before the marathon--and it was only 8 miles. Jessica did her run yesterday, so I went solo today. First, I took the kids to Tim Horton's before school for a doughnut. It was "Daddy Doughnut Day" at school, and Jerry had to work. I felt sorry for the kids having to go to school and seeing all the other dads, so I took them to Tim's and then dropped them off at school a few minutes late.

I drove to the Metropark and did the same 8-mile out-and-back route that Jessica and I did last week. The park was nice, but it felt strange running by myself. I didn't do any walk breaks, and I kept a sub-10:00/mi pace. I just wanted to hurry and get done. I brought my waist hydration pack and put my iPod in there in case I wanted it, but I never did dig it out.

Speaking of water, I was going to bring the new Nathan hand-held bottle I bought yesterday, but as soon as I put water in it this morning, it leaked like crazy! I thought the valve was opened, but it wasn't. So I will have to return it. I don't think I'll buy another; I'll just stick with the waist pack.

It was a hot run today, which made me dread the marathon even more. The weather is finally on the 10-day forecast... and it doesn't look good.

A high of 75, and low of 59. I'm going to have a heat stroke! I hope that this changes before the race.

Next week is my final week before the race, and the mileage is minimal--3 miles Monday, 4 miles Tuesday, and then 2 miles on Thursday. I think Jessica and I are going to celebrate with lunch on Thursday after our 2-miler! ;)

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Stupid bush

Today was a rest day, and for that I am thankful. Not that I felt like I needed it, but I just didn't feel like getting ready and going out to run this morning. Instead, Jerry and I tried (another) Dick's for a marathon outfit. I really shouldn't have waited so long to buy something!

As you saw on the previous post, I was looking for this UA line of "slash" capris. I had seen them at Dunham's a couple of months ago, but held off on buying them... and now I regret it, because I can't find them in stores. I ended up ordering some from their website, but they didn't have a size small in green or blue. So I wound up with yellow (my third choice), but now that I look at them again, I think the yellow is pretty badass. Jerry said he liked them, too.

(By the way, I never thought I would do sponsored posts like that, but when I saw it was from Under Armour, I couldn't help myself--Under Armour is my very favorite brand of running clothes! So I am doing two more sponsored posts in the future with UA, but please know that I wouldn't have done it if it were a brand I didn't TRULY love and use anyway.)

Trying to find my marathon outfit has been challenging, and I realized the irony of weight loss and shopping. When I was obese, I could never find my size. I would immediately look at the back of the rack, and it was rare that I found something I liked and it happened to be my size.

And now that I am a size small, all the workout clothes in size small are always sold out! I found quite a few cute things today while browsing around, but it was mostly sizes L and XL. And even shopping online, my first choices were sold out in size small. But anyway, I ended up ordering a cute outfit online, and I hope 1) that it gets here before the marathon, and 2) that it fits.

I did end up buying something useful, however--a Nathan handheld water bottle. I like my waist pack for long runs, but I think this will come in handy during the summer months when it's a thousand degrees outside and I'm trying to run shorter distances, like 5 or 6 miles. It's comfy in my hand; I just hope that the water doesn't slosh around so much that I would rather not use it.

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We've had a bush in front of our house for about five years, and it got much bigger than I ever expected it to get. Last year, I noticed a million or so ants crawling around on it, so I sprayed for the ants (they were also crawling on the screen to our bedroom window). And then this year, every time I walked by, tons of black flies started to swarm around me. I got fed up with it yesterday, and told my dad that I wanted to get rid of it.

Ten minutes later, my dad showed up with his truck and a chain. I doubted we'd need to use a chain to pull it out, but I figured he knew what he was doing better than me. The kids were super excited to watch, and "help" him wrap the base of the bush with the chain.

 

My dad warned my kids that they need to stand back SUPER far if they are ever around anyone pulling something out like that. He told us about a guy he knew that was killed while he was driving the truck--the chain snapped, and the end of it flew right through the back window and killed him. My kids were impressed with that story... I was a little nervous to watch after that!

When it came out, and Noah saw it, he said, "Oh, THAT'S where sand comes from!" Hahaha. Nope, our builder was just an ass who decided to fill our yard with sand instead of dirt.

I am so happy that stupid bush is gone now. Aren't the tulips pretty? Jerry and the boys planted those the day I came home from my surgery. I had no idea that they did that, until the flowers popped up this spring! I am the WORST gardener, and I hate to garden, so our landscaping is pathetic. But I like having the tulips there--maybe I'll put the kids to work more often ;)

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