My Victoria's Not-So-Secret Purchase

I got up bright and early today to get ready for my doctor's appointment. Remember how I mentioned that I had a little pucker of skin where my drain tube was after surgery? The skin kind of folded a little while it healed, so Dr. Tepper wanted to fix that with a simple, in-office procedure.

Since I was going to be in Dearborn anyway, I asked Jessica and Renee if they'd want to come with me and then we could go out to lunch at none other than LA PITA--yum!  I drove up there and then gave them my Jeep to go to the mall or out for coffee or something while I had my appointment.

Renee suggested martinis at La Pita, and I was definitely on board with that idea, since I'd never had one before. We each had a dirty martini to start:

I was very surprised that I drank the entire martini. I really thought I would hate it, because I'm not a liquor person at all--but I rather liked it!

Then we had warm pita bread with lots of garlic sauce, and then our entrees of a chicken kabob, rice pilaf, salad, hummus, and more garlic sauce. I was in Heaven! I tried to take a picture for you all, but as I've mentioned before... THIS is why I'm no food blogger:

See that little black ramekin with white stuff in it? That is the garlic sauce, and is my sole reason for living favorite part about La Pita!

And since I got a free birthday dessert, I definitely couldn't pass that up--we shared a piece of carrot cake. It was amazing, despite the fact that I was stuffed from the rest of my lunch.

My doctor's appointment went very well. They had a room that was like a mini-OR set up, and I had to lie on the table. The nurse gave me a heated blanket to cover with--love those things! Dr. Tepper gave me a local injection to numb me, so I didn't feel anything. It was very strange to watch her work though--using a scalpel and stitches and all the surgical stuff. I could feel some tugging, but no pain. The stitches she used are internal and will dissolve, so the scar looks just like it did before, only without the pucker.

After my appointment was over, Renee and Jessica picked me up and we went to the mall. They both agreed that the dress I picked out yesterday made me look old--lol, I'm so glad that I have friends that are honest!--so they had found a couple that they liked while I was at my appointment. I tried on one at Forever 21 and it was WAY.TOO.SHORT. Like, you could see my you-know-what if I bend over kind of short.

We went to Victoria's Secret next, which as you all know, I was excited to buy something cute/sexy with my gift cards. I tried on about five things, but I really fell in love with the one I ended up buying. And since there is no way in hell I would ever post a photo of me wearing it, I'll show you what it looks like on the hanger ;)

Super cute, right? And of course it was super expensive, so not only did I have to use both my gift cards, but all the rest of my birthday money as well. Ah, the things we do to feel sexy ;)

After that, we went to Express so I could try on the other dress that Renee and Jessica picked out. I loved it!! I'm a little self-conscious of it because it's strapless, and my arms have a lot of excess skin, but I can wear a shrug with it if needed. Maybe I'll post a photo on Saturday. I think I might wear it to Winers Saturday night, just for fun.

Came home and really wanted to just lie down and digest my food, but I've got a lot of cleaning to do. The kids are spending the night at my parents' house tonight, and Jerry is off work tomorrow, so we're going to be spending the day working on the house. Fun, fun, fun.

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The big 3-0

Well, I guess I'm 30 now. I wasn't really in the mood to celebrate this morning, until I saw what Jessica brought me just before our morning run:

That would be a mini cookie cake from Mrs. Fields. I think Jess and I must have been twins in another life. Not only the cookie, but she also gave me a card saying that she's going to buy me my first martini! When we went to lunch one day, I told her I'd never had a martini before, but always wanted to try one.

We decided to do an interval run this morning. My knee has been feeling really good for the past few runs, so I figured it would be a good time to do some speed work. I set the Garmin for 1/4 mile intervals, and off we went. We just did 3 miles, and doing the intervals makes the time go by so much faster since you focus on the 1/4 mile increments instead of the run as a whole.

This shows our pace, and you can clearly see the faster intervals

And these are our splits:

We actually stayed really consistent throughout--our faster pace was between 9:03-9:10/mi (with the exception of the last one where we went 8:34); and our recovery pace was between 10:46-11:01/mi.

We both enjoyed doing the speed work, so we decided to try and do it every Wednesday.

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The rest of the day has been same old business as usual. I did go buy a dress this afternoon though. A photographer is coming to my house on Saturday for a photo shoot with me--which I'll talk more about after everything is all finalized. The whole thing came about because of Pinterest... shocker, huh? ;)

I realized that my dresses (minus the one I wore on Dr. Oz) are all kind of flowy, because I was always trying to hide my saggy belly skin. Now that I have a pretty flat tummy, I wanted a more form fitting dress. I bought one today. I'm going to show a picture of it to Jessica and Renee tomorrow to get their opinions before I for-sure use it, but I don't have much time to figure everything out.

I'm going to be spending the next two days cleaning my house top to bottom, unfortunately! ;)

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Thanks so much for all the birthday wishes! Here and on Facebook (and my e-mail)--I am truly blessed to have all of you as readers of my blog. Thanks for reading!!

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A birthday shopping trip

I guess skinny girls would like to go on a birthday shopping trip to the mall for cute new clothes--but THIS girl decided to go to Trader Joe's and Whole Foods ;)

First, my dentist appointment. I had to get a cavity filled, and I really was dreading getting my mouth numbed. When I got there, the dentist said that it was just a very small cavity, and not too deep. I asked if I could do it without getting numbed, and he said sure. He said that when the drill starts going, it kind of heats up and that can cause some twinges of pain, but if that happened, they could stop and then numb me.

I don't know where the bravery came from, but I chose to try it. I was so scared that the drill was going to hit some nerve and just shoot horrible pain through my body, but I felt a couple of uncomfortable twinges (like nails on a blackboard kind of feeling) and I asked if it would be done soon. He said yes, and I stuck it out for another 10 seconds (less than 30 seconds total) and the drilling was done!

He quickly filled the cavity and I was done. In and out of the room in less than 5 minutes--and I didn't have a numb mouth. Awesome!

Then Jerry and I drove to Trader Joe's. I'd only been to Trader Joe's once in my life and that was in Minnesota while visiting my brother--so I didn't get to buy anything because we couldn't bring it home with us. I was very excited to check it out.

We spent a while browsing, and I don't know if I just happen to be a cookie magnet, but that store has a LOT of cookies!! We ended up buying three different kinds of cookies. I looked for Cookie Butter, but they were sold out :(   I did find something that looked almost as good though...

That, dear friends, is dark chocolate FILLED WITH Cookie Butter!! I haven't tried it yet, but I will let you know how it is after I do.

The rest of the loot:

Cookies, wine, chocolate covered espresso beans, cookies, beer, peanut butter, wine, and more cookies... and more wine. Going with Jerry was not a smart decision--he's such a bad influence! Actually, the only things he picked out were the beer and the cheese puff things.

After we left Trader Joe's, we went to Whole Foods. First, we drooled over the desserts shopped for a few minutes, then brought our few purchased items to the car. Then we went back in to get some lunch from the salad bars. I chose the hot food bar this time, and after taking little spoonfuls of lots of items, realized that I mostly just had different shapes of pasta covered in different types of cheese. Whoops. But I couldn't very well put it BACK.

We got a chocolate peanut butter brownie to share for dessert--thanks to you all who told me that I just HAD TO celebrate National Peanut Butter Day by eating my weight in peanut butter (that IS what you were implying when you told me it was National Peanut Butter Day, right? RIGHT?) 

After lunch, I felt sick. And we drove home.

It was the brownie that did me in. It was SO RICH. I also bought a cupcake to have for my actual birthday tomorrow, and thanks to the brownie, the cupcake doesn't even sound good right now. It's sitting in the fridge, but I'm sure I'll enjoy it tomorrow. It's maple-walnut flavored.

Today has definitely been a day of indulgence. But tomorrow goes back to normal!

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A long run and Icespikes review

When I was lying (awake, of course) in bed at 3:30 this morning, I heard thunder and rain outside. I thought, "Yay, Jessica will probably cancel our run this morning!" (even though canceling the run outside would simply mean I'd have to run seven long miles on the dreadmill).

But Jessica is hardcore. She never cancels! ;)  So I sent her a text at 7:00 to see if maybe she didn't realize it was raining and should we cancel. Nope, we were still going to meet at 8:00 at her house.

I'm so glad that we ended up running outside anyway! The rain stopped by 7:45, and the temp was actually in the low 40's. There was a lot of slush, but no more snow. Julia and Johna went with us, too, and we did our seven-mile long run. By the way, Jessica and I decided to switch our long runs to Mondays because it was the most convenient for both of us. I'm going to run on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

I love burning that many calories at once!  But I immediately think about what I can eat.  Today, I was thinking of peanut butter, so after lunch I had a couple of spoonfuls. Jessica shares my peanut butter addiction, so she completely understands eating it from the jar ;)

We got a lot of snow over the weekend, and I got a chance to try out a product that is used to keep you from slipping while running (or walking) on snow and ice. Remember how I mentioned that I went to the running store, and tried on a couple of different shoe cleats? They were these rubber contraptions that you slide over your running shoes, and they have little spikes on the bottom of them to help grip the snow. They looked kind of like this:

(source)

Well, I found them really difficult to get on my shoe, and once they were on, they didn't feel very comfortable. They also didn't seem very secure on the shoe. So I decided against buying any, and then I went home to research which were the "best ones" to get. On the Runner's World website, a lot of people were talking about a product called "Icespike", so I checked out the website for them and was a little intrigued.

I was about to order them when I decided to ask if they'd let me review a set for the blog--and I told them that I keep the blog very honest, so if I didn't like them, I wasn't going to pretend I did! ;)  I received a set in the mail just in time for the snow that dumped on us out of nowhere.

Here is what the Icespikes look like:

You get 32 spikes and the installation tool

They are little tiny screws that have a couple of sharp prongs on the screw head that grip the snow/ice when you run. You screw these directly onto the bottom of your shoes.

I decided to use an older pair of my running shoes, since I don't need these spikes every time I run--just on the snowy or icy days. The instructions were very simple, and the whole process took less than 20 minutes to get them installed on my shoes.  (Yes, my shoes are dirty and stained... but wouldn't you worry if they looked like they'd never been used?)

First, I marked them with a Sharpie (the instructions tell you where to mark)

Then I just used the screwdriver tool to screw them in

This is how they look while screwed in

They felt very secure (much more-so than the slip-on cleats that I tried out).  You get 32 screws, but you only use 12 on each shoe--so you have 8 leftover. The instructions said that the spikes on the heels tend to wear out faster, so you can replace those as needed with the eight extras. The Icespikes will last the life of your shoes (about 500 miles).

I was excited to give them a try, and thankfully, the snow had come in, so I dressed warmly and headed out. I was very surprised that I didn't FEEL the Icespikes on my shoes. They didn't compromise my stride at all, and while running through the snow, I actually didn't even notice that they were on. They made my footing feel very secure and after a few minutes, I stopped worrying about slipping and I just relaxed.

Overall, I think these things are PERFECT for what I was looking for! I wanted to feel safe running in the snow and even ice without wearing a clunky over-the-shoe contraption. My only complaint about them is that they are pretty loud while running on bare concrete. I made the comment to Renee and Alicia that I sounded like a horse while running on a bare patch of road. While running on the snow, however, they weren't any louder than plain old shoes.

Some positives I noted:
*Light and tiny--you barely even notice them
*They don't compromise my stride
*Easy to install
*They actually work really well!
*They're cheaper than the over-the-shoe cleats I tried on at the running store
*While I didn't try them on a muddy trail run, I imagine these would work just as well in mud as they do in snow
*You don't have to worry about what size to buy, because one size fits all

Some negatives:
*They're not something you'd want to put on and take off each time you run. You can take them off, but it would be a pain to do that every time. Having two pairs of shoes would work best.
*They're loud on bare concrete

So I'm happy that I found something I can use to train for my marathon even on our snowy days! Here is the website, in case you want to check it out.

(Disclosure: I was provided the set of Icespikes for free, but I was not required to give a positive review. The opinions I've shared are completely my own).

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I had a dentist appointment after my run this morning. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate going to the dentist? My mouth is always so sore afterward--which I know I could remedy by flossing daily like I'm supposed to.  Turns out I have a cavity :(  Being almost-30 sucks as far as my dental health!  I didn't get my first cavity until I was about 27 years old, and since then, I've had two more.

The dentist saw that I was dressed in my running clothes and wearing my Garmin, so he asked about my running. Turns out he's run three full marathons, among other races. He ran the one in St. George that I read about on The Boring Runner's blog--check out the elevation profile on that! After seeing that, I told Jessica that we had our whole strategy wrong, trying to find a FLAT course ;)  (If you've never checked out Adam's blog, you're missing out--despite calling himself "boring", he is very funny!)

Anyway, I have to go back to the dentist to get a filling. Luckily (or not) he had a cancellation tomorrow morning, so I won't have to wait too long.

Jerry is off work tomorrow, and I am SOOO happy about that! We are supposed to go out to lunch for my birthday, but we may not if my mouth is still numb. Either way, I'll be happy to spend some time with him since he's been working so much lately.

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A maintenance plan and new goals

Sometimes I wish that, like my kids, I could fall asleep anywhere in any position. Yesterday morning, when Jerry got up for work, he discovered that sometime in the night, Eli had dragged his pillow and blanket into the living room to sleep on the couch. Apparently, he fell asleep in the process of climbing onto the couch...

Isn't that adorable?  I, on the other hand, have had horrible insomnia for weeks now.  It's making me crazy! I've had a lot on my mind, and I think my anxiety might be keeping me up.

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Ever since my doctor told me to stop losing and to maintain my current weight a couple of weeks ago, I haven't really given it much thought. But I guess I need to come up with a game plan for maintenance, huh?

While I didn't actually reach my personal goal of 133, I'm going to make my maintenance range 133-137.  The number 137 is going to be my "panic weight"; if I see that number on the scale, I know I need to cut back a little until it gets to the lower end of my range. For the past few weeks, I've been 136, but today I was 137 (no doubt the peanut butter I've been consuming by the spoonful), so I've hit the panic weight.  The goal is to never see 138.

I feel like I will forever be trying to reach a finish line that is in sight, but I'll never actually get there.

I've actually been doing really well at maintaining 136 without much effort--the only thing I'm really focusing on is not binge eating. I've been binge-free for 69 days now. I came very close to bingeing a couple of times, but I keep reminding myself of my determination to make a new binge-free streak of over a year.

I think as long as I'm not bingeing, I should be able to maintain my weight without having to count calories. However, I would really like to start trying to work on the quality of my diet. My diet is far from "bad", but now that I'm training for a marathon, I want to get the most nutrition out of each calorie that I can.

I've actually heard of a lot of people that have gained weight from marathon training, due to the "I can eat what I want because I'm training for a marathon!" mentality. I can completely see myself falling into that trap, so I'm going to do my best to avoid it. I'm thinking about only training three days a week (instead of four) to avoid injuring my knee even more. The run I would cut out is only a 3-4 miler, so it wouldn't make much difference. I'm thinking that I'll do my running on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday; then maybe some cross-training one other day (either biking if it's nice outside, or incline walking on the dreadmill). Anyway, the whole point was that if I'm only training three days per week, I don't need to be eating thousands of extra calories ;)

Another thing I'd like to start doing is writing out monthly goals at the beginning of each month and then post about how well (or poorly) I did at the goals at the end of the month. I like to challenge myself, because I almost always learn something new about myself in the process. I'm always impressed at the goals Lori challenges herself with and then achieves!

I'm also working on a 30-in-30 list... 30 goals/things to accomplish between my 30th and 31st birthdays. They'll be simple things, since I only have a year, but just something to focus on now that I don't have to focus on losing weight. Hopefully I'll be done working on it by my birthday on Wednesday!

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Weight Loss Success Story: How Carly Lost 100 Pounds and Started Running!

Early this month, I received an e-mail from a woman named Carly that I found so inspiring, I asked her to share more about her story. I excitedly read the e-mail to Jerry, and I told a couple of my friends about Carly and how inspirational her story was.

I receive a lot of e-mails from people who say they wish they could run, but they are "too heavy". That certainly may be true, considering running is hard on your body, but if an overweight or obese person gets the go-ahead from his or her doctor, there is no reason that he or she cannot become a runner. Carly has certainly proved that--and she is losing weight in the process.

When I read Carly's story, I just had to ask her to write a guest post so that other people can be inspired as well. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have.   --Katie

Update: We invited Carly to join our Ragnar Relay team, From Fat to Finish Line, and she ran with us in January 2013. The team is now part of a documentary called From Fat to Finish Line, available on Netflix and Amazon.

Here is Carly's story, in her words:

"Last summer, I received pictures of myself from a wedding I had recently been in. It would be an understatement to say I was unhappy with the way I looked. Something HAD to change.

I started taking small walks every night. After about a month of walking, a lot of research, and a heart-to-heart talk with my doctor, I decided to start the Couch to 5K running program. In order to keep myself going, I immediately signed up for a 5k near the end of the program. I am the type of person that won't stick to something unless I have a plan so this worked well for me.

On the day of my first run that September, I weighed 349 pounds.

It took me over two weeks to get through the entire first week of the program. I would run for a minute, and then walk for 90 seconds every other night. I will never forget how hard those one-minute runs were at over 300 pounds.

Once I stopped feeling like I was going to die after the week one runs, I moved on to week two. If I didn't feel comfortable with a week of the program, I repeated it. I struggled a lot with week four and repeated that a couple of times. Then came week five and I realized that the sneaky folks who wrote the Couch to 5k program hated me: a 20-minute run out of nowhere!

I did the whole 20 minutes the very first time and shocked myself. That was the day I ran my first whole mile.

By the time my 5k race came in late October, I was only in week seven of the nine-week program, but I was determined to try. At that point, I was 330 pounds, and I ended up running the entire 3.1 miles in 52 minutes WITHOUT walking at all!

Up until that point, I had always run alone, but I had a very supportive friend running with me and pushing me. She would encourage me to keep running when I wanted to stop, and made the race really fun. I am sure I would have stopped to walk if she wasn't there.

I actually screamed out my weight in excitement as I crossed the finish line--my running high obviously messed up my brain in that moment! I finished the Couch to 5k program and two months later ran a second 5K race in 45 minutes.

For me, running is almost more mental than physical. The first 10 minutes of every run are the worst, and all I can think about is stopping. I begin to wonder why I ever thought it was a good idea to run. Once I get past the first 10 minutes, however, I love it!

I had a lot of people tell me that running at my weight wasn't safe for my knees, heart, and feet. This can be true, but there is a safe way to get started and proper ways to protect yourself. From the time I started week one, I had permission from my doctor and was sized for proper (expensive) running shoes.

I don't "run through pain" and I am very conscious of my body and if it needs to rest. I had to stop running twice: once for bronchitis and once for shin splints. It took me a week to get back to where I was each time, but the rest and time off was necessary.

In the beginning, I struggled with running in front of other people, afraid of what they were thinking. I work on an Air Force Base, so the gym I go to is not exactly lacking good-looking, well-built men (and very fit women). I am definitely still the biggest girl there. The only way I was able to overcome being nervous about working out in front of them was to just do it! It also gives me plenty of motivation to use proper form and suck in my belly when I work out.

Once they recognized me and saw me shrinking they would stop me and tell me what an inspiration I have been to them. Me? An inspiration at 300 pounds? Crazy!

Since beginning to run in September, I have lost 63 pounds. A BIG part of that is due to changing my eating habits and tracking everything I eat. I work full-time and I am a single mom to a 3-year old, so I have to be very creative to find the time to work out and plan healthy meals.

I recently signed up for a half-marathon in May and I am beginning to train for that. I plan to walk/run it, but my big goal is just to finish. I would love to be able to help anyone who thinks they might be too big to run. Start slow and be mindful of your body and you can do this!"

Carly's Tips for Overweight Runners

*Proper shoes - Go to a running store that will watch you run on a treadmill and fit you in the best shoes for your feet.

*Get the 'okay' from your doctor - You should do this before any exercise program, but being overweight can put an extra burden on your body (it's also nice to be able to compare your numbers from the tests your doc takes after you've been running for a while).

*Start slow - You should be able to walk 30 minutes at a reasonable pace before starting to run.

*Be comfortable - If you're nervous about people watching you run, you will probably be more productive running alone.

*Eat well - Eating nutritionally bad food or too much food makes me feel weighed down when I run.

*Stretch - I thought stretching was nonsense for a while, but since I started stretching, my runs are always better. Plus, it feels so good!

*Don't give up - The first time you run for a minute will not be easy, but it does get better as your body gets used to it.

Carly said that you can e-mail her at:  carlyoleo (at) gmail (dot) com.

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Blueberry muffins the size of my face

I decided to check the weather this morning to see just how cold I was going to be on my run today...

Yep, sure glad I looked. ;)  Before my run, however, I had to go to the boys' school for a "breakfast with mom" event. I drove the kids there and we all went inside to get our muffins and milk. They had those muffins from Sam's Club--you know the ones that are the size of your face? The banana one is my favorite, but they only had chocolate and blueberry, so I got the blueberry.

I thought to myself that I should probably only eat half of it (because they are 600ish calories each!!) but it was so good that I just ate the whole thing. Since I was planning on running 6 miles afterward, it was like the muffin had 0 calories :)

I went home and tried to psych myself up to go run in the freezing cold (the temp was actually reading 3 degrees, which actually made me kind of excited to run, just to see how bad it would be). I sent Renee a text to see if she'd want to go with me at the State Park, and she said that despite being totally hardcore when it comes to running outside in the winter, maybe we could wait until the afternoon when it was supposed to reach 19 degrees, and Alicia would come too.  Sounded good to me!

So instead of running, I spent the morning cleaning the bathrooms. My least favorite chore. Usually Jerry does them because he knows how much I hate to do them, but he's been working like a mule lately (12-hr shifts, 5-7 days a week). I also cleaned our bedroom really good so that we don't have any clutter on our dresser (where we tend to accumulate random crap).  Tonight, I just want to cuddle under the electric blanket and maybe watch a movie or something.

I went to the State Park and met Renee and Alicia (who are both way faster runners than me!) and we headed out for a 6-mile run. I was worried about pushing myself TOO hard because of my knee (and the farthest I've run since before surgery was 5 miles) so we went at a pace that probably felt like a crawl to them, but was only slightly uncomfortable for me.  I could talk, but only a few words at a time.

We finished the path that we were running and it only totaled 5.8 miles... and because I'm such a perfectionist, I drove home and then ran the 0.2 to round it off at 6 ;)

The past couple of runs I've had were almost a minute per mile faster than we ran today, but only half the distance. I love seeing that 643 calorie burn, but it sucks that I already spent it on a muffin this morning! 

I've learned recently that I absolutely LOVE running outside in the winter.  Last year, I did most runs on the dreadmill. This year, I've totally embraced the cold and it's fantastic. It's SO much better than running in the heat of summer. And wearing the right clothing makes me totally comfortable and not too cold. The hard part is just the wind. When it's windy, it's kind of miserable to run.

I'm feeling kind of bummed that I won't be able to celebrate my 30th next weekend (my actual birthday is on Wednesday, but I was hoping to go out on Friday). I've NEVER liked to celebrate a birthday, but this one is a huge milestone, so I was really hoping to do something fun like a comedy club with some other couples.

That's the only weekend Jerry is off work, but it also happens to be a weekend that my parents are busy on Friday and Saturday and won't be able to keep the boys. We've never hired a sitter for our kids (not just because of the money, but also because I have a hard time trusting people with my kids).

I am going out to lunch, however, with Jessica and Renee on Thursday to my favorite restaurant, followed by a trip to Victoria's Secret at the mall ;)  I have two gift cards that I really want to use on something cute now that my incision is all healed and my belly is pretty flat. When I was fat, I always dreamed of wearing cute lingerie--and technically I could have, but I certainly wouldn't have felt "cute" or "sexy" in it. Then after I lost the weight, I still wasn't feeling it because of the saggy skin. I'm definitely feeling it now, and I can't wait to go buy something!

Saturday is our Winers meeting, so although it's not a birthday celebration, I can at least pretend everyone is celebrating my 30th with wine! ;)  Hopefully Jerry and I will be able to go out soon.

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Cold weather and warm food

I was supposed to go for a run with Jessica this morning, but I ended up canceling and running alone by my house. I had plans to meet up with Renee and Jessica for coffee at 11, and with the drive to and from Jessica's, I'd waste a lot of time that I needed to take a shower and get dressed before coffee.  I live in the middle of nowhere, so everywhere I go takes me at least 15 minutes.

The weather channel was calling for snow, but not until a little later, so I headed out for a run right as my kids left for school. My dad snapped a picture for me, although it's not exactly a great pic:

I need more running pictures! I only have a few and they're all terrible--too blurry, too dark, too far away. Oh well. The first mile wasn't too bad, and I actually felt a little too warm. Considering it was only 14 degrees outside, that was strange. But as soon as I got to the lake front, I felt like I froze into an icicle. The wind was blowing right into my face, and it had started to snow--so all the flakes were going in my eyes. The wind was VERY strong and I felt like I was running in place.

I had the most horrid look on my face as I was running, and I'm sure that if someone had seen me, they would have thought I was a beginner runner pushing myself WAY too hard. I could barely keep my eyes open, but then I saw someone else who was outside--a woman out on a walk. I tried to wipe the grimace off my face, but I think it was just frozen in place.

By mile three, it was snowing pretty hard, but once I was off the lake front, it wasn't so bad. I finished the run and took a super steamy shower.

Then I made my current favorite bowl of oatmeal for breakfast:  1/2 cup of oats, 3/4 cup of milk, 2 dates (chopped), 4 walnut halves (chopped), 1 tsp. brown sugar, and a splash of vanilla extract (about 1/2 tsp).  I put it all in a bowl and then microwave it for 3 minutes on high. I let it cool for a few minutes and then top it with some sort of nut butter--today was coconut butter.

You'll have to imagine the coconut butter on top ;)

I swear, there is something magical about cooking oats in milk rather than water. It makes not only the taste, but also the texture a million times better. After my surgery, I switched back to cow's milk instead of the almond milk because it has more protein, and I have to say I really like it better. The almond milk is a fantastic non-dairy low-calorie milk, but I think I'll stick with cow's milk now.

I met Renee and Jessica for coffee before lunch. I ordered decaf, but I think maybe it was actually caffeinated. I was very jittery on the way home, and I STILL feel jittery. Next time I'll just get tea. While we were sitting there, it started snowing something fierce. It looked like a blizzard outside. It was really slow driving home, and an ambulance went past me (no doubt because of an accident). It was so dreary looking outside, I just wanted to curl up under my electric blanket. Homemade chicken noodle soup was the perfect lunch today!

Tomorrow we're supposed to get 3-6 inches of snow... ironically, tomorrow is my scheduled long run.

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The Difference Between Motivation and Determination

When people learn about my weight loss, aside from wanting to know the magic pill I took (i.e. diet and exercise), they usually ask me, "How did you stay motivated?"

The short answer is, I didn't. I didn't even have motivation when I started losing! What I did have, however, was determination.

(Um, Katie... isn't that the same thing?)

No--they are completely different! Here is the definition from the dictionary:

Motivation- A motivating force, stimulus, or influence; incentive; drive.

Determination- The act of deciding definitely and firmly; firm or fixed intention to achieve a desired end.
(source)

I believe that motivation is only temporary. You might feel motivated to lose weight by watching weight loss stories on TV, or reading weight loss blogs (like mine!) or seeing a friend who did it. But that motivation only lasts until you are faced with temptation, and then the motivation shoots out the window because you want to eat _____ (fill in the blank). Motivation is that "force" that makes you want to achieve something and gives you drive to do it--but only until you lose that drive.

(source)

Determination, on the other hand, is "the act of deciding definitely and firmly". It's a DECISION that has no if's, and's, or but's. You make the decision to just do it, and you DO IT, motivation be damned.

When I finally decided to lose the weight, it wasn't a matter of feeling motivated--because I didn't feel that way at all. I really was sick of dieting and failing; of high hopes being crushed every time I failed; deprivation and restriction... I just wanted to be done with the whole idea of losing weight and just live my life!

However, when I wasn't able to teach Noah to ride a two-wheeler because I was too fat to run up and down the street alongside his bike, the fire of determination was lit inside of me. It was no longer an act of feeling motivated (because I still didn't feel motivated)--I just decided that I would have to do it, no matter how badly I didn't want to.

When I made that decision, it was no longer an issue as to whether I could stay on track--because I was so determined to finally reach the "end" that I wanted/needed. I knew exactly what I needed to do to lose the weight (count calories and make smarter food decisions; exercise); so I did it because that was the decision I had already made.

When you feel the fire of determination, you're not making the decision to just "get it done"; you're making the decision to do whatever it takes to get it done. This doesn't mean that you're not going to have setbacks along the way; but you will realize that they are just setbacks. You can keep right on going, because you already made the decision to do whatever it takes and not give up.

Eight months after I felt that determination, my mom took this video:

I was still very overweight in that video (about 173 pounds), but I was able to teach Eli to ride a two-wheeler.  That made every little sacrifice worth it.

If you have seen my weight loss video, then you might recognize this picture:

The reason I chose that picture to represent "determination" was because this was the day that I finally achieved an 8-mile run. I had attempted to run 8 miles two other times, but couldn't quite make it. Then I made the decision that the third attempt was going to be IT, and I was absolutely determined to finish that 8 miles. And I did!!  My shirt was soaked in sweat (that was obviously before I discovered the magic of technical shirts!) but you can see the smile on my face and how proud I felt in that moment.

I guess the whole point of this post is that if there is something you want, don't wait for motivation to push you through (because it won't)--find the determination inside of you and DO IT! No excuses ;)

 

"A failure establishes only this: that our determination to succeed was not strong enough." --John Christian Bovee

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A sleepless night

Worst. sleep. ever. last night. Jerry apparently has the stomach flu, so he was in and out of bed constantly--going to the bathroom to throw up. He was supposed to leave for work at 5:00 this morning. In the 9 1/2 years he's worked there, he has NEVER ONCE called in sick.

They get bonuses for perfect attendance, so he has made it a point to get perfect attendance every year. I thought for sure he was going to have to call in sick today. He ended up calling and asking if he could use a vacation day today (which doesn't count against his attendance), and thankfully, they said yes.

Chandler couldn't have been happier...

Despite getting zero sleep, I still had to get the kids up and ready for school. It was pouring rain this morning, so I drove them to the bus stop. Once we got there, I realized that we forgot their backpacks at home. I went back home, ran in the house to get the backpacks, and then we went back to the bus stop. And we waited for 15 minutes, until I realized that the bus must have come while I was back at the house. So I had to drive the kids to the school in my pajamas (sans bra!).

I had a 3-mile run on the marathon schedule today, so as soon as it stopped raining, I headed out for a run. It's 46 degrees today--and ALL of the snow and ice is gone. If there is one thing that is predictable about Michigan, it's the fact that the weather is so UNpredictable. (Oh, and the fact that no matter where you drive, you will ALWAYS run into road construction).

I went at a pace that felt a little too fast to be comfortable, but I was still able to finish strong. I was really pushing it, though, wanting it to hurry up and be over with.

I think I'm almost back to my pre-op pace. It's weird though, in October 2010 I was running about a 9:00 min/mile easily, even for my long runs. Then I broke my jaw, and then I gained back 15 pounds--and my pace slowed by at least a minute per mile. Now that I've dropped the weight again, I'm  hoping that my pace gets a little better than it has been.

By the way, I read a VERY inspiring post by Jen at From FAT to FINISH LINE this morning, and I just had to share it with you--make sure you check it out (and be sure to watch the video at the end)!

I'm glad I don't have anything scheduled tomorrow. I'm going to try and catch up on my e-mail and housework. It's amazing how putting something off for just a day or two makes a world of difference in the long run!

I can't wait to put on my fleece pj's, pour a glass of wine (just one this time), and settle in to watch The Biggest Loser tonight. Then hopefully sleep much better than I did last night!

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