Things I'm looking forward to

My drain output is very slowly decreasing--but at least it's decreasing. Today the color of it was a lot lighter, which is also a good sign. I have a post-op appointment this Thursday, regardless of what the drain is doing.

As annoyed as I am about the drain, it definitely beats getting it out too early and winding up with a seroma--that's a pocket of fluid that the body doesn't absorb and it has to be aspirated with a needle. The drain isn't painful at all, it just gets in the way. And I really want to sleep on my stomach, but I'm afraid to with the drain there. My doctor said sleeping on my stomach is fine, if I'm comfortable.

Some of you asked if the swelling or incision is painful right now--it's not at all! It definitely looks like it should be hurting, but I'm numb all the way around. Even my ab muscles don't hurt much anymore. This surgery was MUCH less painful than my jaw surgeries, and the healing time much faster.

There are so many things that I'm looking forward to, based on the outcome of my surgery:

-Wearing tight jeans with fitted tops, and not having the muffin hang over.
-Spending a Victoria's Secret gift card that I've had for over a year.
-Having sex (I wonder if it will feel different?)
-Not having to "suck it in" for pictures.
-Not constantly tugging my shirt down, for fear of someone catching a glimpse of my belly.
-Wearing cute lingerie, and not feeling gross because of my belly.
-Not having to wear Spanx under a dress.
-Not feeling embarrassed to undress in front of friends.
-Going for a run without getting a rash under my "apron".
-Wearing low-cut jeans and workout pants.
-Wearing my "goal jeans". 

I'm sure there are more, but that is what I can come up with right now. It's going to feel so liberating! All of those reasons sound so vain, but I've honestly never experienced a flat stomach before. Even when I was a very young child, I had a round belly. My sister totally hogged the flat-belly gene in our family... her weight has gone up and down over the years, but her stomach remains as FLAT as can be!

I remember the first time Jerry saw me naked-- it was a few weeks after we started dating on our wedding night  ;)  --I was SO WORRIED that he was going to run screaming when he saw my stomach. He obviously didn't. But he later learned how self-conscious I was of it, and I've ALWAYS said that "when I get to my goal weight, I'm going to get a tummy tuck!" I just can't believe it actually happened!

I can probably do some of those things on the list as soon as I get this drain removed. I will have to wear the compression garment for 24/7 until the six-week post-op mark, so I won't really feel healed until then, though. I wish I had more patience ;)

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Renee to the rescue!

This morning, I was sitting in the recliner that I've grown to hate over the last 12 days, crocheting an afghan, when I got a text from Renee. She asked if I wanted to go shopping with her. I said yes right away, knowing that I would feel much better if I got out of the house.

I took a shower and dried my hair, then put on make-up--which I haven't worn since before my surgery--and dressed in jeans (my big "fat day" jeans, for comfort) and a sweatshirt. I managed to hook my drain to a chain around my neck and it rested just under my boobs. Hopefully it wasn't noticeable, it just made me look like I had a bigger belly.

I drove over to Renee's and she drove us to the stores. We went to Hobby Lobby first, where I got some more key rings for Gockets. Then we got a coffee (tea for me) to go and headed to the mall. I bought some more egg protein powder at the vitamin store, and a couple of calendars. It felt SO GOOD to get out of the house, and I was surprisingly energetic. Much more so than I have been post-op.  I'm so grateful that Renee asked me to go, it was just what I needed today!

On the way home I stopped at Kroger for a few things that we needed, then I picked up my boys from my parents' house. I brought them home for a few hours, and they were very well behaved. They're spending the night one more night (tonight) and then they'll probably stay here all week. Physically, I'm feeling pretty good. Mentally, I'm still pretty irritated with the swelling and drain (which is still putting out too much to get removed, but it's starting to decrease now). To give you an idea of how bad the swelling is now on Day 12 post-op (versus Day 2 post-op):

Almost no swelling on Day 2

Like a water balloon on Day 12!

My doctor and all the people on the tummy tuck message boards swear that the swelling goes away and my belly will be super flat--but looking at it here makes me feel so discouraged.  My stretch marks look worse, too, but I think that's because I took the pic myself and the camera was VERY close to my belly this time. I am happy with how my belly button is shaping up--it looks very natural and not like those perfectly round, super tiny little belly buttons that some woman have post-tummy tuck. But I've read that belly buttons change shape and size in the months post-op, too.

I was really tempted not to post pictures of the "bad" parts of the surgery, because I don't want to discourage anyone from getting it (or embarrass myself by posting the 'ugly' pics!). But I do want to have a very honest account of it all--good and bad--so that you know what you're getting into, should you get surgery. When I was researching the surgery, it was VERY hard to find any blogs that went into any kind of detail about what to expect.

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My mom came over and told me my dad brought me something from Canada. As soon as she said "from Canada" I knew what it was!

These candy bars are AWESOME and we can only find them in Canada. We live pretty close to the border, so whenever one of my family members goes to Canada, they stock up and share the wealth at home :)  Each package has two bars (195 calories each bar); I'll let Jerry have one package, so this will be my dessert for the next two days. I LOVE Coffee Crisps!!

My mom said she didn't want to "tempt" me, but you can't wave a Coffee Crisp in front of me and ask me if I want it! The answer will ALWAYS be yes. So I just have to work it into my diet, like I do with everything else.

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Ready to be healed

Today was a VERY frustrating day for me. My belly is really swollen today--the most swollen it's been since my surgery. I've been meticulously recording my drain output, hoping to get the last drain removed today, but it's still putting out 50-60 cc's every 24 hours. My doctor said it has to be less than 30 cc's, and then I can go get the drain removed. So now I have to wait until Monday, at the earliest.

My doctor warned me that the next couple of weeks are the worst to handle (mentally). That I would feel annoyed and depressed and regret the surgery, because I'll just want to "feel like a normal person" again. She was totally right. I don't regret the surgery at ALL, but I'm SO SICK of taking care of the stupid drain, and being afraid to even touch my incision; not being able to wear jeans because my hip bones are super sensitive, and the jeans rub my incision; having to wear big, baggy clothes; having to eat tons of protein when I don't want to; sitting in the recliner all damn day; and not being able to sleep on my stomach.

I know that this is all just temporary, but I am dying to just go back to normal. Jerry wanted to go Christmas shopping tonight, but I really don't want to go anywhere with this stupid drain. I thought I had lucked out with the swelling, because it hasn't been bad at all--but right now I realize why people complain about swelling after this surgery!

I did go to the mailbox, and was excited to find a package from Czesia! She celebrated her one-year blog anniversary with a (self-funded) giveaway. I received a "girly" package, which couldn't have arrived on a better day!

Cleverly wrapped up in a cute kitchen apron

Earrings (for my blue Dr. Oz dress!), eyeshadow, soaps, aromatherapy things, a ring, and...

This flower for my hair (I forgot it was in my hair when I took the pic of all the goodies)

LOVE the ring!!

Czesia said she picked the sparrow on the ring because it represents strength--to show how strong I am! ;)  I'll take a pic of me in the apron when I'm having a better day. Right now I just feel gross. I love everything, though, and like I said--great timing for my bad day!!

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Thanksgiving (and jeans)

I woke up bright and early at 4:00 AM. That is becoming the norm lately. I wish I could sleep! I just laid in bed and watched a movie on On Demand. It was actually really funny--it's called "Going the Distance" or something like that with Drew Barrymore. She usually plays such a "cute" character, so I loved how vulgar she was in this movie. I laughed out loud numerous times.

It wasn't at all fun being home alone all morning and part of the afternoon. Jerry wasn't here to wait on me like he has been after my surgery, so I had to do everything, which was actually really tiring. That is actually the biggest thing I've noticed about this surgery--it's not so much painful as it is EXHAUSTING. Just taking a shower leaves me breathless and feeling like I'm going to pass out. It's getting a little better, but I don't know how I'll ever run again if I get so tired from doing everyday things!

I went to my mom's house at 3:00 for dinner. I had one small plate of food--turkey, mashed potatoes, corn, cranberry sauce, a roll, stuffing, and sweet potato casserole (my favorite). I left a couple of bites of everything except for the sweet potatoes, which I had seconds of  ;)  In all, it was about half the amount of food that I'm used to eating, but ever since my body lift, I get full much faster. I think it's because my abdomen feels so tight that it's like wearing a tight pair of pants while eating.

So after eating the dinner, I was too full for dessert. I took a piece of pecan pie and a piece of pumpkin pie home with me for dessert later. I didn't take any leftovers home with me. The only food that is really tempting to me on Thanksgiving is the sweet potato casserole--it's loaded with butter and sugar! I probably had about 1/3 cup total though, so it shouldn't be too bad.

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A couple people asked me about how my protein/carb ratio has been since surgery, because I somehow lost 9 pounds last week. I haven't been tracking my food, but I tracked it yesterday (after the fact) just to see how it breaks down. It was a "typical" post-op day, and it ended up being a little over 1,600 calories. Nutrient breakdown was like this:

Fat: 29%
Carbs: 40%
Protein: 31.1%

Almost a perfect 40-30-30 ratio, without even trying.  Normally (meaning when I'm not just post-surgery), I probably have more like 55% carbs, 30% fat, 15% protein. I feel much better when I have higher carbs, but I'm following doctor's orders for the protein right now.

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I tried on some jeans yesterday, and I was AMAZED at the difference in how they look on me!! I've always HATED how my excess skin would make my jeans look very pouched out at the front. Let me see if I can find a picture to show you what I'm talking about...

See how it sticks out in front, almost like I have a butt there?  Well now it's completely FLAT. From hip bone to hip bone. After I get this stupid drain out, I'll take a lot of pictures, including some in jeans, so you can see what I'm talking about.  For now, this one that I took myself will have to do:

 I have one pair of "goal jeans" that I only wore once--when I was at my low of 128 pounds--so I'm dying to wear those! I tried them on pre-op and took a picture; they didn't even go up to my hips. Then I tried them on over my compression garment, and they went all the way up, but are about 1 inch from buttoning. I'm hoping once my swelling goes down, I'll be able to wear them--and look GOOD in them. When I can wear those goal jeans, I'll consider myself AT goal--no matter what the number on the scale is!

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It had me in stitches

Pun totally intended, of course.

I laughed SO HARD today while reading something on a tummy tuck message board, and good grief! I think I felt every single stitch of every muscle in my abdomen. You know how when you start laughing about something, everything else is even funnier than it normally would have been? It was awful--awesome, but awful.

Someone had started a thread where she talked about her pubic hair line was now up waaay too high after her tummy tuck, and she asked if anyone else had that problem. Someone said something like, "Good news is you have a brand new, flat tummy; bad news is, it has a vagina in it."  That started it. Then, the more I read, the more I was busting a gut (okay, I'll stop with the puns now). Then Jerry said something about it giving a whole new meaning to a "fuzzy navel" and I almost died.

I'm so grateful that I don't have that problem. It wasn't something I even thought about before surgery, so I couldn't ask my surgeon to avoid it. I'm definitely tightened up "down there", but my incision is in the perfect spot, in my opinion. I'm healing so well that I don't think there is anything I would have changed or done differently. I'm SO PLEASED with my surgeon--she's fantastic!

Speaking of healing well, I took Vicodin for the last time yesterday, and today I just took a couple of Motrin (which I probably didn't even need). I stopped the muscle relaxer too, and I had already finished the antibiotic. So I'm off the prescriptions.

I must say, I am NOT impressed with Vicodin. After my jaw surgery, I was taking oxycodone, and it was FANTASTIC. I took it for about 2 months, and then stopped cold turkey one day because Renee was going to come over for wine, and I asked my surgeon about wine + oxy (which was a big 'no'). That evening started the withdrawal symptoms, and I had to cancel with Renee. I was SO sick for about three days. It gave me a whole new understanding of people who get addicted to pain killers.

I haven't taken it since (but I can't bring myself to throw it away...)  I was hoping that the Vicodin would have the same effect on post-op pain for me, but it felt like nothing. It didn't even take away my headache! I decided to quit taking it yesterday, and I haven't felt the effects of not taking it at all. Right now, the pain is pretty minimal--just a twang here and there, and my incision is a little sore.

What drives me crazy is this feeling in my belly just below my belly button--it feels like I have a nearly-full-term baby moving around in there. (I hated that feeling when I was actually pregnant--it drove me crazy!) Another thing that is annoying is that "heebie jeebies" feeling in my belly. I imagine all the nerves are repairing, and it's causing everything to tingle--kind of like a constant state of goosebumps. I remember that happening with my jaw (which the oxy took care of!) It lasted a couple of weeks.

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Jerry was playing a chicken shooting game on the Wii today, and the kids were totally fascinated, watching. Remember Duck Hunt for Nintendo? It's kind of like that, just with chickens--and better graphics. So he was playing for a while, and doing really well. The kids were super excited when he finally had a 'game over', because he was whooping about his great score. Then this happened:

"Daddy" was in SECOND place. And not just by a little, either. BAHAHAHA, I don't even remember the last time I played that game, but apparently I did very well. So Jerry was teasing me about "So THIS is what Mama does when she's at home all day!"  Jerry and both boys were in shock that I.AM.AWESOME. At shooting chickens, anyway!

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I got a phone call today that made me SO HAPPY. The phone rang, and Jerry answered. He handed it to me, and I mouthed, "Who is it?" He shrugged, saying, "I don't know."  As soon as I heard her voice, I almost screamed. It was my old boss from when I worked at Curves (2003-2005). We were VERY close, and when I quit working there, we kind of lost touch. I haven't seen her in about 5 years.

She told me that one of the members (that I had signed up when I worked there) brought in the newspaper article of me, and told her about Dr. Oz. So she called me to tell me how happy she was for me and how proud she was of me. I told her that I would go in to Curves next week one day and see her.

I've thought about it time and again, going in to see her. I always think of stopping in when I drive by there, but I just felt ashamed (when I was fat) and then I kept thinking, "I'll go when I reach my goal weight"--which didn't "really" happen. Stupid reasons!  She's much older than me--I think maybe her late 50's now? But we always got along so well, and we spent a lot of time together. When Noah was born, we even referred to her as a "grandma" to Noah.

Anyways, I'm so happy that she called, and I can't wait to go in and see her. She said a lot of the same ladies are still exercising there, so I hope to see them, too.

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Tomorrow, I'll be alone all morning--Jerry's going back to work, and my kids are staying at my parents' house tonight. Then my mom is going to pick me up to go have dinner at her house. I would say that I probably won't blog tomorrow, because of Thanksgiving, but I have nothing better to do--so I probably will!  Hope you all have a great Thanksgiving!  I'm not a huge turkey-dinner fan, so I actually don't even get tempted to overeat on Thanksgiving--just another day for me. Although if there is pie, I just might have a piece for dinner and piece for dessert! ;)

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I almost fainted

If you're squeamish, skip this part. Just go down to the page break line.

I never really understood how the sight of something could make someone faint. I watch the needle go into my arm for blood draws, I was very conscious for the removal of my arch bars, I had no problem emptying my drains from surgery... but yesterday, it almost happened.

My incision had a thin piece of extremely sticky tape all the way around the length of it. It took me a few days to even notice it was there, because it was SO stuck to my skin. It was kind of stringy, like gauze, but as sticky as super glue. Anyway, my doctor noticed it was still there yesterday, so she told me I could pull it off when I got home.

Last night, I went into the bathroom, stripped down, and found a little piece to start working on. It took me a while to just get a small piece up, and I swear I thought my incision was going to burst open. It didn't really hurt (much) because I am still so numb, but all the spots that the tape came off was starting to sting. I kept pulling, and going over certain spots felt like I was splitting open. It was so scary!

I had Jerry do the tape over my butt, since I couldn't see it well, and I kept asking "Are you sure it's not opening?!" There were a couple of spots that show a tiny speck of blood, but other than that, it was still okay. When I really couldn't see it, but I could definitely feel it, I got extremely light headed and started getting tunnel vision. I walked to my bedroom and tried to lay across the bed so that if I did faint, I wouldn't fall and break my damn jaw again.

It felt like it took forever, but the tape was finally off (oh, and I won't even mention how badly it hurt when removing the piece that was across the top of my pubic hair--imagine waxing in slow motion).

It actually made the incision look much better though, after the tape was off:

On the left, the tape was still on (this is the incision right above my left butt cheek)--I believe this was Day 4. On the right, you can see where the tape WAS, but is no more. And how much cleaner the incision looks with the tape removed. Don't be freaked out by the bruising--that's why I didn't show you my back yet!

I was trying to explain to Jerry was the heebie-jeebies was... you know that really squeemish feeling? Yeah, looking at this stuff gives me the heebie-jeebies. Try and say that word out loud without at least smiling. You can't!

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Now, onto the most important part--the REAL reason I almost fainted! Just kidding, I didn't, but it probably would have been appropriate. I'm talking about my Wednesday Weigh-In today.

Remember, how I said I was prepared for a big number, because the doc said I could gain up to 10 pounds post-op from fluid retention?  I mentally prepared myself for that, and all week long I've been RAVENOUSLY hungry. I've been eating 3 meals and at least 2-3 snacks a day, because my body is hungry all the time--I think it's just wanting extra calories to heal all the trauma that was done to it during surgery.

Well, I got on the scale and saw a number I haven't seen in... God only knows how long.

Yes, friends, that would be the 130's!!! I haven't seen the 130's since early this year, probably April? So I'm actually down 9 pounds since the morning of surgery.  The doctor said she only removed 2-3 pounds of skin, so this is quite the shock.

However, I'm going to be VERY careful about considering this weight loss "permanent" until at least 6 weeks after surgery. I learned my lesson last year after my jaw surgery, when my weight dropped to 128.

I've been eating a ton of protein, at the request of my doctor, but I make sure that I'm not eating low-carb. I definitely get in a lot of carbs and protein and fat--maybe my metabolism is just going super fast to try and repair my body after surgery. Also, I haven't been running, and my body drops weight very fast when I don't exercise--weird, I know. I'm not sure what the reasoning is behind the weight loss, but I'm VERY thrilled with it!!

Well, I might write again tonight, but I was dying to post my weigh in!

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Surgical drains (and other TMI)

Ahhh, relief!  I got three of my surgical drains removed today. Unfortunately, I still have one left in for a couple more days. Some of you were asking about the drains, so I'll do a quick explanation.  After abdominal surgeries, most doctors insert a number of drains (number depends on the extent of the surgery), a tube that rests inside of your abdomen for about 6-12 inches or so, and comes through a tiny incision (held in place with a single stitch, so it doesn't slide out) and then there is a few feet of tubing that leads to a grenade-shaped bulb.

Any fluid that accumulates in your abdomen (blood, pus, saline solution that was used to irrigate during surgery, etc) goes out through the tubes and into the bulbs. It was my job to record how much fluid came out (there are measuring lines on the bulbs) and empty the bulbs by removing the little cap and squeezing them into the toilet.  I had to do this a few times a day. It's not as gross as it sounds, honest.

This is what I looked like today after my shower--wearing my compression garment, with drains coming out the top of my pants and clipped to the waist band of my pants.

The drains aren't really painful, but they are VERY annoying to lug around with me everywhere. Especially in the shower. I can get totally naked in the shower, but I have four tubes coming out of my groin and hip areas. Jerry (or my mom) has to stand there while I shower and hold the tubes so that my hands are free to wash myself.

You'll notice that the color and amount of drainage varies in each drain. That's normal. The one on my left hip hasn't drained anything since about two days after surgery.

The compression garment I have to wear is bothersome sometimes, but it actually feels good to have everything feel like it's being held together. Sometimes I worry that one little sneeze or cough will make my whole incision pop open. Or it'll make this new "girdle" of skin pop open and my stomach will look like what it used to (not that it's possible for that to happen).

Even with the compression garment off, it feels like I'm wearing some sort of girdle. Everything feels so tight and compressed.  I have to wear the compression garment 24/7 for at least 6 weeks. To give you an idea of how tight it's supposed to fit...

Yes, Dilaudid was flowing through my veins, thankyouverymuch!

This was a few hours after surgery, so I look like I was busting out the seams of the garment. Now it is definitely looser, and my surgeon actually had me order a size small (this one is a medium) to wear since the swelling is going down. 

The point of wearing the compression garment is to help the skin adhere back to the muscle wall and keep it in shape, which can take 5-6 weeks. Like I said, I like it because it holds everything together. When I'm really swollen, it can be hard to take a deep breath though, because it is so constricting!  My abdomen feels SO WEIRD all the time--it's completely numb, but when I press on it, I can see the fluid retention underneath, so it looks "puffy". The doctor said this is normal until the skin adheres back to the muscle.

As far as dressings for the incision go, it totally depends on the surgeon. My surgeon didn't have me use any dressings, which was FANTASTIC. There weren't any stitches on the surface skin--she used internal stitches that my body will absorb, and then she used some sort of glue for the surface. I didn't have any dressing to change, I just have to wear the compression garment at all times (except showering). I actually haven't had any problems at all with the incision (thank goodness!) and it's healing really well. I've been following my surgeon's instructions to the letter for everything, and it's definitely working.

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So about the drain removal...

I was terrified. I've read from some sources that it doesn't hurt and just feels "weird" but from other sources that it was excruciating. For the past couple of days, my hips have been hurting, and I think it was from the drains in my hips. They passed right over the bone, which was a very weird feeling and very achy.

Anyway, my appointment was a 3:15, and Jerry drove me. It was about 40 minutes away, which is much closer than the hospital or the Detroit clinic. They had me undress from the waist down, including my compression garment. It was so uncomfortable while waiting for the doctor to come in--I hated sitting there without the garment on, because it felt very tight and weird.

When the doctor came in, she said, "Let's remove some drains!" and I was so excited that she was going to remove all four of them. She looked over the record of the drainage output, and decided to leave one drain in (my left groin) until it puts out less than 30 cc's in a 24 hour period. She said probably Thursday or Friday.

She did my most annoying drain first, my left hip. I was the most nervous for this one, because my hip bones have been so touchy--just weird feeling--lately. She told me to take a deep breath and then blow out hard. While I was exhaling, she pulled it out. Honestly, it didn't hurt at all--just felt VERY VERY strange. Next, she took out the one in my right hip, and same thing--very strange, but no pain. Then she did my right groin, which was the weirdest one of all, because it was SO LONG. I exhaled and it was still coming out, so I took another breath and exhaled again. Finally it was over. I felt so relieved after that!

She checked out my incision all the way around and said it's healing just as expected, so that's good. She told me two more days of lying down or standing (no sitting up). She also cleared me for exercise! She said I can even run if I feel like running--just for the record, I DON'T. She just said no ab-work for a couple more weeks. I've never done ab-work in my life, because there was no real reason to. She said I can sleep on my stomach, if I'm comfortable--hopefully that will cure my insomnia! I hate sleeping any way other than on my stomach. She again stressed the importance of eating a lot of protein for at least the next 5 weeks.

I came home and had a pumpkin brownie that I baked earlier--NOT from scratch ;)

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So Robin, one of my readers (she doesn't have a website to link to, otherwise I would), is a graphic designer, and she very generously offered to make me a blog title banner for my page. I sent her a bunch of pictures, and she sent me 3 different banners to choose from. So if you visit my blog, you'll see that I have a new look up top :)  I think it turned out GREAT.  Can you tell I'm getting bored with all this time on my hands?!

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I need thicker skin

I feel so fortunate to have such amazing readers that are so positive. I'm such a sensitive person, and I don't handle criticism very well. That is one of the reasons I don't advertise my blog--I'm afraid that if I have too many readers, some of them will start to be critical or I'll have people leave me critical comments. It's a fear I really need to get over. I can be myself on my blog, and I think I just fear that if people criticize, it means they don't like ME.

Today, I noticed that my pumpkin brownie recipe was posted on the Dr. Oz Show website. It's not even a "real" recipe, just something I throw together sometimes--a box of brownie mix + a can of pumpkin + a couple tablespoons of peanut butter swirled on top. It gives me a chocolate-peanut butter fix with a little extra fiber from the pumpkin. (Oh, and FYI-- the food stylist added the lemon zest completely on her own--I would never add lemon zest to my brownies!)

When I told the producers about the brownies, they loved that idea and wanted to use that on the show. A food stylist made them and they looked amazing. I talked about them for a minute on the show (which was cut out). I also talked about how you don't have to eat healthy food 100% of the time in order to lose weight. That I ate healthy all day long, but always allowed for an indulgent (read: junky) dessert at night. I managed to lose 125 pounds doing this, and never thought anything of it.

These were my brownies and wine part of the show that was cut

So today, when I read the comments that were posted on the recipe on the website, a lot of people were critical about it being a boxed brownie mix and not from scratch--and that brownies from scratch are so much healthier. I get that--I totally understand that we should avoid processed foods--but those people have no clue all the other sacrifices I made to get healthy. I used to eat ice cream by the half-gallon, M&M's by the one-pound bag... so it was hard to read people being critical of my making a healthier version of a boxed brownie mix.

I think the producers liked the idea because it was so simple--not everyone wants to make brownies from scratch! People like simplicity, and this was an easy way to make a healthier brownie. NOT a "healthy" brownie... but a "healthier" one.

I could NEVER be a celebrity--I don't have thick enough skin for it! I couldn't imagine how hard it would be to read things in tabloids about myself. I feel bad for the celebrities that have to deal with it all the time. They must have very thick skin!

If I may ask, PLEASE don't try and defend me (or even mention me) in the comments on the recipe page--Jerry wanted to so badly when he saw that I was crying while reading them. It would just make me feel worse. I wrote one comment, and left it at that. I'm just not going to read any more of the comments about it!

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I'm really starting to feel soooo lazy. My legs are aching to run, and I can almost feel the muscles turning to Jello. I'm going to give it the full six weeks recovery, but I think I'll ask the doctor if I can at least walk slowly on the dreadmill every day. Then I won't feel like I'm doing NOTHING.

I'm going to post a weigh-in on Wednesday. My doctor said that I shouldn't even look at the scale for weeks after surgery because I'll be so swollen, but I am expecting that, so it's okay to see the number. I haven't been bingeing, and I've been focusing on eating tons of protein to heal as fast as possible. I'm not in any rush to lose weight, so it is what it is.

I actually feel like I could be happy at the weight I've been maintaining for over a year--145ish. Now that my belly skin is gone, my clothes will fit so much better. I don't feel any pressure to reach a certain number (because of the People magazine goal being non-existant now). My sole focus is going to be on eating "normally", exercising for health and fitness, and setting some other goals.

Since my 30th birthday is in January, I am going to compile a list of small goals to accomplish in my 30th year--30 goals, of course.  I used to have a 30x30 list (30 goals to accomplish before I turned 30) and I actually DID accomplish all the major ones. The others seemed unimportant, so I stopped marking them off. I'm going to pick 30 simple and meaningful goals for my 30th year.

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For those of you that were asking about whether my Dr. Oz segment was going to be available online, it is! I posted the links here.

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My episode of The Dr. Oz Show is online!

One of my readers just pointed out that my episode of The Dr. Oz Show is online!

Here is the preview (you can only catch a quick glimpse of me):



My segment is split into two parts, so obviously you want to watch them in order.

Katie on Dr. Oz Show "Part 2"  (Watch this first, and I come in on the end of this clip at 2:53).
Katie on Dr. Oz Show "Part 3"  (Watch this second, and my part finishes up in the beginning).

So glad that if you missed it, you can still see it!  Make sure to watch Jennie's story too (she's part 1 and 2)--she's AMAZING and I feel so happy to have met her at the show!

If you haven't read about my experience in NYC for the taping of the show, you can read that here and here.

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Lower body lift, post-op day 7 progress

I can't believe I'm already on Day 7 following my lower body lift surgery. Surprisingly, the week has flown by for me. I haven't been able to do much, but I've been recovering really well. And having my Dr. Oz Show air on Friday definitely took my mind off the surgery for a little bit.  For those of you that haven't seen the Nov. 18th episode that I was on, I still don't know whether I'll be able to post it to my blog. I'm hoping that the show posts it on the website or something!

Yep, I'm much prettier on TV! lol

I took a new progress photo of my belly today--it doesn't look much different than the last comparison pic, though. I still feel swollen and my stomach protrudes a little because of the swelling. The incision is healing really well, and my drains aren't draining much any more--which is good, because I'll probably get them removed at my post-op appointment on Tuesday. Here is the comparison pic--last Sunday vs. today:

Before lower body lift

Day 7 after lower body lift

My belly button is still very scabby, but I don't want to pull the scabs off. It looks like it hurts, but it doesn't. Actually, the weird thing about this surgery (that I wasn't expecting) is the numbness! My whole abdomen and lower back are completely numb. It's a very weird feeling when I touch it.

My belly button is starting to look more centered, thankfully. However, I read about off-centered belly buttons after tummy tucks, and it's very common--but not necessarily a fault of the surgeon. Your belly button "stalk" stays in the same place, but the surgeon makes an incision around it and then pulls the belly skin down around the stalk, and makes a new hole to sew to the stalk (hard to explain).

So if your belly button isn't centered before surgery, it's not going to be centered after surgery unless you request extra work to center it. Hard to explain, but chances are, my belly button was off center prior to surgery, and it will remain a little off-center. I don't think it looks too bad though, and I'm not going to be showing my belly off--too many stretch marks remain to wear a bikini!

Something that I really didn't think I would care much about before surgery was my butt lift (part of the lower body lift). My butt was just never something I really complained about, even though I knew it was very jiggly from the loose skin. I'm so shocked at how much perkier my butt is now! When I walk, I can actually put my hand there and feel my glutes really well--my butt feels firm for the first time ever.  I might post a comparison of that (in undies, of course!) soon, but I'm not brave enough yet.

I'm so excited to try on my jeans after I get these drains out! I used to have to tuck my skin into my jeans, so I hope that they go on much easier now.

I think my biggest complaint right now is how much my throat hurts. I don't think it's related to the surgery itself, because it was fine for a couple of days post-op. But I have that horrible lump in my throat and it's sooo hard to swallow or think of anything else. I've also had a headache on and off, which I discovered can be a little relieved with a cup of caffeinated tea. I hope I'm not getting sick, but those are the only bothersome symptoms I have.

Right now, I'm totally looking forward to my post-op appointment with my surgeon on Tuesday to (hopefully) get these drains removed!  I'll take more pictures then too.

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