1000 Ways to Die

Actually 1001 if you count death by peanut shortage.  Have any of you ever seen this show--1000 Ways to Die on Spike?  They were running a marathon of it yesterday, and I happened to catch an episode. It was AWESOME and of course I recorded the rest of the marathon. It's kind of morbid, but it's a show about actual (and very strange) ways that people have died. You would never actually think that these things could happen, but they are based on true stories.

For example, one guy was throwing lawn darts (in the 70's, of course) and his girlfriend flashed him. He ended up throwing the dart straight up in the air, and it came down right through his head. Another example: There was a driver's ed. instructor that was really frustrated at one girl, who walked away. He leaned across the driver's seat, and started banging on the steering wheel while he was yelling at her. He set off the airbag, which broke his neck.

While morbid, and kind of graphic, the show is kind of tongue-in-cheek. I laughed just as much as I said, "NO WAY!" while watching it. The titles of each story are hilarious. It kind of reminds me of a real-life version of the Final Destination movies.

Anyways, this is a lucky week for me!! I have never ever won a giveaway before... and I actually won TWO this week. I won CLIF bars from Donald at Running and Rambling, and I won a Burt's Bees package from Ellen at Fat Girl Wearing Thin.

Oh! I made something a few days ago that I'm super excited about. One of my favorite snacks is a chocolate Vitatop with cool whip. But Vitatops are insanely expensive--$1 each on SALE. So I decided to try and make my own from scratch, that would have similar calories, fat, fiber, etc... and TASTE, of course. At a garage sale on Saturday, I found a muffin top baking sheet, so it was meant to be. I found a recipe online, and then altered it to my liking, and they turned out perfectly--just like Vitatops. I will never again be spending $4 on a box of 4 Vitatops.  I posted the recipe here, if you'd like to try it out.

The only thing missing is the few chocolate chips on top. But you know I can't have chocolate chips in my house, ever again.

Well, my laundry is not going to do itself, so I better do some housework.

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I might as well be dead

I really hoped it wasn't true. I read about it first on Krista's blog, and then after my heart quit racing with fear, I hauled my ass to the grocery store to check it out for myself. Found the aisle I was looking for, and taped to the shelf was the note:

"Due to a peanut shortage, we will not be carrying the store brand of peanut butter until further notice. Also, JIF has stopped making the reduced-fat peanut butter and the honey peanut butter until the shortage is solved."

Now, my heart lies with Smucker's natural peanut butter, but it doesn't matter in this case. THERE IS A PEANUT SHORTAGE, due to all the rain this year.  No peanuts=no peanut butter.

And I die.

I did buy a few nine jars--and one of them was the size of my head. I might go buy some more. After all, there is no such thing as too MUCH peanut butter, right?

Laugh all you want, but don't come crawling to me when you're dying for a PB&J next year, and you have no peanut butter stocked!

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Anyway... I think it's hilarious that you all thought I'd have a high-pitched voice! I've always disliked my voice because I think it's too deep and manly--and I want it to sound pretty and feminine. But your comments made me think maybe it's not so bad.

And my accent? Of course I grew up thinking that I was the one without the accent, and everyone else "talks funny". But when I listen to myself on video, I definitely hear a northern hillbilly-like accent. In Michigan, we definitely stress the vowels.

I'm not sure if the video I submitted will even be used, but I'll let you know when I hear anything. I was told to send a close up video and a full-body shot. I liked the close-up ones better, but I don't know what they'll use (or IF they'll use one).

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I fucked up my binge-free streak this weekend  :(  It started so innocently, with a pan of Hungry Girl's Chocolate PB Fudge (brownie mix+pumpkin+peanut butter). You put it in an 8x8 pan, and then cut it into 36 pieces--36!! Who is going to eat just 1/36th of the pan? Not I.

Then I topped that off with a Reese cup flurry. But I justified that because the Reese cup flurry has Reese cups in it (duh) and those have peanut butter in them. With a peanut shortage looming overheard, the Reese cups probably won't be around long, and then I won't be able to have a Reese cup flurry for a whole year! So it was perfectly okay that I got a small medium one, right? RIGHT?

Anyway, back on plan today. After the kids went to school, I did my long run (8 miles) and went grocery shopping. The day is going by waaay too fast.

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What is one food that you would rather die than not eat for a year? Mine is DEFINITELY nut butter. Peanut butter, to be specific.

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Outtakes

So, I might as well just announce it now... I'm a goddamn GENIUS. Yesterday, at a garage sale, I bought a Rubik's Cube for a nickel. I've never solved one, so I just thought it'd be fun to try. And I DID IT! Okay, Jerry said I must have a disclaimer that I Googled the solution, but it still takes some serious brainwork to do it.

A Rubik's "before" photo

And about an hour and a half later... a genius, I tell you

Now, you might be wondering, "Katie--why is your face so greasy hair did? You never do your hair!"  Well, there is a reason for that, too.  The PR Director of Sparkpeople contacted me yesterday and asked me if I could make a short video clip of myself. All I had to do was have a video of me saying, "You can do it!" however I wanted to say it. I think it's going to be some promotional thing for Sparkpeople. Anyway, at first I thought, "No WAY am I going to do that--it will sound so cheesy!"

But of course I did it.

I did my hair and make-up, so I didn't look TOO dumpy, and then Jerry and I went outside and did about 60 "takes" of me saying "You can do it!"  All I kept thinking of was in Forrest Gump, when Jenny says, "C'mon, Forrest, you can do it!" in a really gumpy voice. Anyways, when we watched the clips, I put together a bunch of the "outtakes" from our little video session, and I thought I'd share them with you. I know, I'm so thoughtful.

(Oh, and I should probably clue you in on something... I say something about how I can't "do the 'm' sound" in the word filming. Ever since I broke my jaw, I've had a numb lower lip. And when I'm smiling or laughing, I can't bring my lips together well, so my 'm' and 'b' sounds come out like a 'v' sound. Jerry and I are always laughing about it. So that's what I'm talking about when I say I can't do the 'm'.)

That is my first (published) video of me actually talking. Jerry and I had SO MUCH FUN making the video clips. We laughed so hard (as you can see in the video).

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Google has all the answers

For the life of me, I cannot come up with anything to blog about this morning. It's still pouring rain outside, although I managed to sneak in a 4-mile run this morning between downpour.  Since I have nothing to write about, I will at least humor you with some interesting phrases that people Googled to wind up on my blog...

At least it's "unflattering" and not "unattractive"... right?

I have no idea how to comment on this

It's the best way to go, dude!

Yes, yes I was

You know it!

You go girl!

Not gonna happen... EVER

Apparently small enough to wind up on Google

Oooh, that sucks, man

Hmmm... are you the one that's gonna lose weight and leave your husband??

THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW!

We all have our faults

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The rain came down

It's been pouring rain here for two days now. Yesterday there was about an hour window of no rain, and that is when I did my run. Today, I ended up doing my run on the dreadmill. Intervals today--ugh! I did 9 x 400's (1/4 mile at a time, for 9 times--total of 2.25 miles). I started at a 7:57/mi pace, and then changed it to a 7:30/mi pace for the last couple of intervals.

Instead of light running or walking in-between, I just hopped off the dreadmill and recovered inactively for about 2 minutes, then hopped back on. The workout isn't FUN, but it's much easier than doing the intervals outside!  When all was said and done, I totaled 2.25 miles in 17:18. I wish I could run that fast straight-through!

My kids made it home fine after the bus issue yesterday. Apparently, there isn't a stop in front of my house--we have to walk a block over. So yesterday, I was drenched by the time I walked to the bus stop and back, despite my umbrella. The kids had a great first day, so that was a relief.

My day went by so fast yesterday! While the kids were in school, I did my run, did some laundry, went to the car dealership to buy a part for the van, then went to Wal-Mart for a couple of things. When I got home, I barely had time to prep dinner (chili) before it was time to get the boys.  I kept thinking that with both boys in school all day, I was going to have a ton of free time, but so far, it's not looking like it. I picked up this book at the library yesterday:

It looks pretty interesting. I keep getting e-mail ads for it from runnersworld.com, so I decided to check it out at the library. Hopefully I'll learn a thing or two! ;)

In diet news, my bridesmaids dress is getting a little looser every day. Remember I said it was tight? I could BARELY zip it (after much struggling)--and now it zips right up, no problem. Maybe I'll take some progress pics at the halfway mark (of my 6-week look-awesome-in-the-dress challenge). I'm staying off the scale, but I can tell I've dropped a few pounds because my jeans are looser too. I haven't binged in 12 days--that might not sound like much, but it's a big deal!  I think The Beck Diet Solution has been helping me get through the moments when I feel weak.

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And so it begins...

What a hectic morning! Today was my boys' first day of school. Noah is starting 2nd grade and Eli is starting kindergarten. Eli was SO EXCITED--not only for school, but mainly for riding the school bus. He was really wound up while they were getting ready. When I checked the bus stops in the newspaper, our bus stop is right in front of our house--awesome, right?! So we went outside at about 7:50, and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

At 8:15, my husband called the transportation office to find out what was going on. The bus had already gotten to the school, and she completely skipped our road! My mom was here to see the boys off as well, so she drove them to the school on her way to work. Eli was so disappointed that he didn't get to ride the bus! I felt really bad about it. The bus driver told the transportation office that nobody was outside when she drove by--but I know she didn't drive by. Our street is broken up into two sections, and our section is kind of out of the way (and easy to miss). So I think the bus driver went down the other section and assumed that nobody was there. I'm just hoping that my kids get HOME okay this afternoon!

After that, I went for my run--4.5 easy miles on the schedule today. It was pretty windy, but the temp is still perfect running weather. I'm dreading tomorrow's speed work though--9 x 400's. Came home and had eggs for breakfast, which is strange, because I NEVER eat eggs for breakfast. Normally, I eat carbs--the more the better!--but Renee gave me some peppers from her garden, so I decided to put them in some scrambled eggs. I also added some jalapeno cheese, and a veggie sausage patty. It was really good.

I've been on a roll with calorie counting. It's about time, right?! ;)  Seriously, whenever I start counting, it seems like there are tons of temptations almost immediately. In the past 10 days, I've been faced with the following:
1)  My parents invited me and the boys out for ice cream--their treat of course. I let the boys go, but I stayed home.
2)  Jerry, me, and the boys went to the Holidome for the night--encountering vending machines, pizza, and beer. I stuck to my plan while the boys had pizza and candy.
3)  My parents invited us over to their house for dinner a couple of days ago, with all kinds of yummy bad-for-you food. I turned down the invite.
4)  My mom took the boys to Pizza Hut after church on Sunday, and I had to pick them up there. Of course, I arrived right as their pizzas arrived to the table, so I sat there while they ate.
5)  I went to Renee's for a bonfire, and turned down wine and s'mores. The only thing I had was one marshmallow.
6)  The boys had an open house at their school yesterday to meet their teachers, and of course there was an ice cream social. I gave the boys their ice cream and watched them eat it.

These situations rarely come up when I'm not counting calories! I feel like I'm finally back to where I was when I was losing weight, where I had total control and didn't let anything get in the way. Right now, I'm super determined to be in the best shape possible for my tummy tuck (IF I get the tummy tuck--still haven't heard anything from the insurance company).

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Have you been faced with temptations lately? How do you handle it?

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40 degrees

That's the temperature difference over two days in Michigan! On Saturday, it was 97 degrees and extremely humid. Yesterday, the high was 56 and overcast all day. It was AWESOME! I wore jeans and a hoodie, drank hot tea, wrapped in a blanket to watch a movie, had split pea soup from the slow cooker for dinner, roasted marshmallows over a fire, and went out for frozen yogurt because I totally deserved it after doing my long run on the perfect morning. 

Let me start at the beginning...  I got up uber early (well, it FELT that early) at 6:15 to go for my long run (7 miles on the schedule). I mapped out a new route the night before, and it was on some busier roads (and it was dark outside), so I decided to wear my reflective gear from the Ragnar. It was a chilly 50ish degrees in my shorts and  t-shirt, but PERFECT for doing a long run.

Think the cars could see me?

The run went by pretty fast and uneventful--I didn't get hit by a car this time, or bitten by a dog, or anything like that. I even brought my pepper spray, like I was expecting something to happen. At one point, two dogs came running at me--unleashed, of course, because people around here seem to think that's perfectly acceptable--but thankfully they were friendly. One was a basset hound, and I am not scared of bassets.

When I got home, Eli wanted to go outside and paint one of his fishing lures. He's really "into" collecting fishing lures right now, thanks to my dad. I'm just waiting for the day that I step on a fish hook. He painted his lure outside and just looked really cute, so I took his picture:

I prepped the stuff for split pea soup and threw it into the slow cooker, because it was the perfect day for soup.  I did a little housework throughout the day, but not much. Mostly, I curled up on the couch with my new 25-cent quilt, and watched Lifetime Movie Network and read blogs.

Before dinner, I really did go get frozen yogurt. When I was losing weight, I would get a special treat on my long run days--I allowed myself to spend as many calories as I burned during the run. If I burned 700 calories, I'd spend 700 calories on something I reeeally wanted (cookies! ice cream!).  It made my long runs much more tolerable ;)  I've been craving soft serve frozen yogurt all summer, but I didn't think anyone sold it around here. I discovered that the frozen custard place sells frozen yogurt (just chocolate and vanilla)--so yesterday, I got a large vanilla with sprinkles. It was delicious! And I totally forgot to take a picture, so just imagine me smiling ear-to-ear with sprinkles and vanilla fro-yo all over my face.

Renee asked if we (my family) wanted to go to her house for a bonfire. We went over there for a couple of hours. I had one (huge) marshmallow, and I told Jerry he could drink and I would drive. So I only consumed 100 calories total. I find that when I'm counting calories, I always volunteer to be the driver.

It was the perfect ending to summer vacation. The kids have to go to bed early tonight for school tomorrow.

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The Beck Diet Solution

I've had the book The Beck Diet Solution for years--ever since it came out in, oh, 2007?  The book is meant to be a 6-week cognitive therapy program that helps you to stick with the diet plan of your own choosing, and it's organized by the day. You're supposed to read the couple of pages each day and do the tasks. I started it numerous times, and then kind of forgot about it by Day 3 or 4--and being the perfectionist that I am, I couldn't imagine starting where I left off, or reading ahead and doing more than the assigned day.

From what I DID read, however, it sounded like such a great program to help me MENTALLY take care of my binge eating. So a couple of weeks ago, I picked it up and started reading again. And this time, I read ahead as far as I pleased, and then did the assignments up to that point. Each day, I've read one assignment, or three, or sometimes not any at all.  And I'm really loving this book!

Yesterday's assignment was challenging. First, I had to make a "discomfort scale"... Make a list of levels 0-10 (0 being the least discomfort, 10 being the most), and put a label to each number of an experience that I've had. For example:
0- When Jerry gives me a massage  (no discomfort at all)
3- Getting my teeth cleaned at the dentist.
5- Calling someone on the phone (this is something that causes me anxiety and I feel pretty uncomfortable doing it, but I will if it's necessary.
10- Flying in an airplane  (the most discomfort I could possibly feel, avoid at all costs)

And I filled in all the other numbers as well, but you get the picture.  That was the easy part of the assignment. Then, I was supposed to skip lunch. I was to eat breakfast, and then not eat again until dinner. Now, this is NOT a weight loss technique, so don't tell me that it's horrible to skip meals. The point of the assignment was to realize that a little hunger once in a while isn't going to kill you. The world doesn't end if you have to wait an extra hour or two for dinner. Throughout the day, each hour, I had to assess my discomfort on a scale of 0-10, using the scale I made as a reference.

I felt uncomfortable just READING the assignment... skipping lunch?!  I haven't done that in a looong time. I don't skip meals--I love eating!! Which is why this assignment was really good for me in the long run. I tried to stay busy, but I was really starting to feel hungry at 11:30 (I usually eat lunch at around 11 or 11:30). We eat dinner at about 4 when Jerry is on nights, like he is now. So between 11 and 4, I assessed my discomfort every hour. It went like this:
11:00- 1
Noon-  3
1:00-   4
2:00-   3
3:00-   1
4:00-   2; ate dinner

Keep in mind, it wasn't my HUNGER level--I was assessing my DISCOMFORT. So my discomfort really wasn't all that bad. Yes, it was nagging, but it wasn't as bad as making a phone call, or flying in an airplane. It was about the same discomfort as going to the dentist.

I'm really glad that I did this exercise. It made me put hunger into perspective, and realize that eating isn't the MOST important part of my day ;)

Today's assignment is about overcoming cravings, which is definitely right up my alley. I will probably have to spend a few days working on it! I think my favorite part of this book is that each section has a "what are you thinking?" at the end, where it lists sabotaging thoughts you might have and a helpful response to those thoughts.  For example, from today's:
Sabotaging thought: "Why should I deliberately make myself feel uncomfortable by skipping lunch?"
Helpful response:  "I need to experience hunger to decrease my fear of it. This experiment will help reduce my anxiety about hunger in the future. The best way to get over my fear is to face it. This experiment will strengthen me for the next time I'm hungry and it's not time to eat."

I may write more about this book as I get farther into it, but so far, I really like it. I really want to work on my mental barriers as far as controlling my weight goes, and I think this will be really helpful.

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Have you read The Beck Diet Solution (in its entirety)?  I should have read the whole thing back in 2007 when I bought it, but I don't know if it would have helped as much as it will now. I was too impatient then; now that I've lost the weight, I'll do whatever it takes to gain control over my binge eating.

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Score!

I totally hit the jackpot at a garage sale yesterday. I wasn't planning on going to any garage sales (actually, I was looking forward to my only "rest day" of the week and wanted to sleep in). My mom called me the night before and asked if I needed school clothes for the boys (I definitely did) and she said there was a sale that started at 9 AM on Saturday morning, advertising boys clothes to size 8 (my boys are a 7 and 8). So yesterday morning, I decided just to go and check it out.

SO GLAD I did! I got there at 8:30 while she was still setting up (remember I said you should get there early?) She had a ton of clothes, and 95% of them were sizes 7 and 8. They were all in like-new condition, and most of them were name brands--Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger, Gap, Nike, etc. She was asking 50 cents for short sleeved shirts, $1 for long sleeve shirts, and $1 for pants and shorts. I had brought $55 with me, and I just started throwing clothes over my arm and bought most of what she had.

For $47, I got all this:
13 pairs of pants; 3 pairs of shorts; 35 shirts; 1 fall jacket; 1 hat for Eli; and 2 shirts for me.

The only thing I wished she had more of were jeans. But other than that, my boys are completely set as far as school clothes go!  Perfect way to end the garage sale season. Sleeping in on a Saturday is overrated anyway ;)

I had a really great week as far as diet and exercise go.  I counted calories all week without fail:

My sodium wasn't so great, but I don't worry about that much because my blood pressure is so low--even my doctor told me to eat a little more sodium.

And my exercise for the week went as scheduled:

My kids start school on Wednesday! It's going to feel so strange having them both in school all day. Big week ahead.

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The Kroger cashier

I don't know if I talked about this before, but after I lost the weight, I still had the same driver's license picture from when I was 253 pounds.  Whenever I would get carded for buying alcohol, it was not an issue--nobody ever commented. Until this one cashier at Kroger. She looked at the license, looked at me, looked back at the license, back at me... over and over. She said, "Is this YOU?" And I explained that I'd lost over 100 pounds. She was in awe.

Every time I went through her lane, she would comment on it. Then, in January, I told her that I was (finally) getting a new license photo. When I got the new license, I showed her the photo, and she said it was "Much better!"

Driver's License comparison

So I went grocery shopping yesterday and went through her lane to check out. As soon as she saw me, she said, "Guess what! I just have to tell you... I've lost 26 pounds!"  I was so happy for her and I congratulated her (she probably needs to lose about 100 pounds). She said, "I was inspired by you--every time you came in, you were skinnier and skinnier, so I finally decided to lose weight."

Hearing that made me feel so good! People online tell me all the time that I am inspiring, and I love to hear that, but it was so great to SEE someone who was inspired enough to lose 26 pounds.

Another thing that made me feel good (and I can't believe I forgot to write this in my tummy tuck consult entry!) was a comment the doctor made. She had me stand in front of a mirror and she was showing me what the results of the surgery would give me. She said (quote): "You have SUCH a tiny frame..."  Wait, WHAT?! ME? I have a tiny frame??

It's so weird because when I was fat, I always assumed I was a "large" frame. You know those magazines, or websites or whatever that tell you what your goal weight should be, based on your frame size, and you have to choose small, medium, or large? Well, I never even took time to think about it. Duh, I was a large frame. It wasn't until I lost almost 100 pounds that I realized I might have a small frame after all. My sister's friend made a comment about my "tiny hips" and numerous people told me that I was "petite".

Hearing those words being spoken about ME was mind boggling. I always WANTED to be small--I have no desire to be very muscular, or curvy or anything like that (hello barely-B cups!). I just want to be a cute and fits-in-your-back-pocket kind of small :)  When I look in the mirror, I don't see it, but looking at some pictures I do... there is one pic in particular that makes me feel petite (it's a dark pic, sorry):

I was 141 pounds in that picture, and I am pretty happy with how I look. I think I look well-proportioned.

So anyway, the doctor said that I have a tiny frame and that the excess skin and tissue around my belly is the only thing that is not proportioned to my body. I'm trying so hard not to get my hopes up about the surgery, but I just can't help it. I wish they'd tell me NOW. The kids start school this week, so hopefully that will be a good distraction for me until I hear from the insurance company.

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Do you think you have a small, medium, or large frame? If you are overweight, would you be shocked to lose weight and find out you have a "tiny" frame underneath?

Do you get carded when you buy alcohol? If not, at what age did they stop carding you? I rarely get carded anymore  :(  When I have my kids with me, I NEVER get carded--but when I'm alone, I do sometimes.

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