April 28, 2017

Double digit training walk

It would be a flat out lie if I said that I feel prepared for the Indy Mini a week from tomorrow! Haha.  I do feel more prepared than I was in 2008 (my first time doing it, and I didn't do ANY training), but I am far from ready now. Having such a long depressive episode last year took a huge toll on my body (and obviously my mind).

A couple of months ago, I made the decision to take a break from running, and I don't regret that decision one bit. I just felt SO tired of it--I got tired of racing a long time ago, and I struggled with wanting to run for fun. I don't have a running partner, which makes it tough to enjoy running and find the motivation to get out there.

When my running mojo showed no signs of returning, I decided that I would walk the Indy Mini. I've walked it three times before, and it's actually a really great race to walk! Still, though, I struggled with motivation to do much of anything--even training walks. My depression wasn't under control as I tried new medications, and depression really does hold me back from even caring enough to try.

Since seeing the psychiatrist and trying something new, I've been doing MUCH better. I finally feel like my depression is under control, and it's such a relief! My anxiety, however, seems to have intensified. The problem with that is that my anxiety has very real physical symptoms. I get a "lump in my throat" feeling, where it's hard to swallow and even hard to breathe. It feels like I have a golf ball in my throat (and it can last for days or even weeks). Also, my heart beats quite a bit faster, which makes everything feel harder than it should. There are other symptoms, but those are a couple of them.

I've had a ton more energy since getting the depression under control, but I've tried running and the physical symptoms of increased anxiety make running feel pretty difficult. I have a follow-up appointment with the psychiatrist on May 9th, so if I'm still feeling anxious, I'll talk to him about it.

Anyway, all of this is to say that I'm still planning to walk the Indy Mini, but I didn't prepare the way I should have. Each time I've done the race, I've thought how fun it would be to walk it and take pictures and just really enjoy it! The last time I did the race was in 2011, and I didn't even have a smart phone yet; so I had never had a camera with me to take photos on the course. This year, I'm pretty happy that I'll be able to slow down and take pictures of interesting things I see along the way. I also love to chat with strangers on the course--there are so many interesting people with fascinating stories of how they got to be there, in that moment.

Today, I went for my only double digit walk before the race--10 miles. I managed to sleep in until about 7:30, so I didn't give myself much time to procrastinate once I got up. I got dressed to run (well, walk), ate breakfast, and headed out for an out-and-back. It was surprisingly cold! The first five miles, I was wishing that I had long sleeves. But once I turned around, and had a tailwind, the temp seemed perfect.

I was thinking I might try to attempt run/walking (three minutes run, one minute walk) to see how that went (and hopefully save some time--walking 10 miles takes quite a while!). I forgot to turn the run/walk alert on, so after a half mile or so, I figured out what the problem was, and attempted a couple of intervals. My heart rate was very high, though, even at a slow jog; and the lump in my throat was driving me crazy. I eventually decided to turn off the alert, walk the whole thing, and if I had any moments where I felt like breaking into a jog (hahaha!), I would.

It felt like it took forever, but I finally got to the halfway point. Once I turned around, I knew I would finish (obviously, because it was an out and back). My hips were pretty sore, and the only relief I got was when I would start running. So, I'd run for a couple of minutes, until my heart rate felt too high (170!) and then walk again. It was so odd--when heart rate training, my easy runs were done at a heart rate of 146 or lower. I managed about a 10:00/mi pace with that heart rate. Today, just walking was getting my heart rate up to the high 140's. My walk was pretty fast, so it wasn't like I was taking a light stroll, but I still think that seems high. Again, something to ask the doctor about, but it's likely from my anxiety symptoms.

So happy when I heard the beep signaling 10 miles!

Anyway, I am SO SO SO glad that I fit in this 10-miler before the race! I definitely feel more prepared than I did yesterday, even if it's only mental. I feel like it's going to be rough, but I will definitely make it through 13.1 miles. And Caitlin is even going to walk with me, so I'm sure the time will pass quickly if we're chatting.

After my walk today, and seeing that I burned a bazillion calories (well, over a thousand, anyway) I went for frozen yogurt at the new Menchies that just opened! I don't have to drive 45 minutes for fro-yo anymore. This could be good or bad--we'll see how it goes ;)

Cheesecake and cake batter frozen yogurt with strawberries,
coconut, cheesecake bites, and marshmallow topping :)
I'm kind of nervous to meet everyone on Friday at the Indy meet-up. There are going to be 13 of us, and the only one that I've met in person is Caitlin! The others are blog readers that I've gotten to know a little via Facebook over the past several months. Everyone seems super nice, and they've said they're a little nervous as well, so I'm sure it will be great. Jerry and I are driving to Indy a week from today! It's coming up so quickly.

While I was walking today, I got a text from my sister. She asked Eli to run a virtual 5K with her, and he did it! He hasn't run since cross country season, but they went nice and slow and he ran the entire way. And he earned the Spaceballs medal she had for him.

Okay, well Joey is clearly ready for me to stop writing this post and give him his dinner. I love this dog! ;)

Have a great weekend, everyone! My sister is in town, so I'll be spending some time with her and Shawn, which is always fun.


  1. That is the half marathon I am doing!! It is my first one! I hope to see you there!!!

  2. It's my first half marathon too. I'm nervous and excited. Maybe I'll see you in the crowd :)

  3. Man I wish I lived closer to you....I would love these long walks and I am sure it could become a "therapy" session of talk.....(for me)...hahaha!

  4. Aren't you on some new meds? The heart rate thing could have something to do with that. Just a thought. Good luck with the race!

  5. His eyes! Joey is such a good looking dog. Have a great walk!

  6. Thank you for speaking so honestly about your anxiety. I've had bouts in the past where I physically had trouble swallowing. My throat would just freeze and I'd have to concentrate to force myself to swallow. I've never considered it to be a sign of anxiety until you described your symptoms. I'll be more cognizant of it in the future and can hopefully correlate it to period of anxiety. Glad to hear your depression is better! Good luck at Indy! :)

  7. A dear friend also has trouble swallowing due to anxiety. My anxiety manifests differently, but the struggle is real for us all. Hugs.


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