Saturday, October 25, 2014

A binge

When I started back at counting Weight Watchers points the first of this month, I decided not to weigh in until at least a month had passed, because I didn't want to get discouraged by a stupid number on the scale. I could tell that I had lost some weight, because my clothes were looser, and I even went down a notch on my belt. I've been having a great month, but for some reason, I decided to get on the scale today. It was just a spontaneous decision--I was in the bathroom, saw the scale, and thought, "Why not?"

I shouldn't have done it. My weight was down, which was good--but only by three pounds.

Now, if any of you were to email me and tell me this same scenario, I would have said, "Three pounds is great! The scale is going in the right direction, and your clothes are looser. Keep doing what you're doing, because it's working!" However, I couldn't help but feel disappointed. I've been at this for three and a half weeks, and when I was losing weight before, I would have lost at least three times this much by now. Ever since I turned 30, the weight just seems to come off much slower, even when I'm doing the same things I did before.

I wish I could say I handled it well today, but I didn't. I had a short-term "Screw it!" mentality, and binged. I regretted it from the very first handful of almonds, but I didn't stop myself. Afterward, I felt sick and full and just pissed at myself.

When I was in Pennsylvania last week, I had a conversation with Dani (from Weight Off My Shoulders) about tracking food, and she mentioned that she tracks EVERYTHING, even if she ends up 100+ points in the negative for the week. Usually, a binge will throw me off for the whole week, because I don't tend to track it. So today, I thought about the conversation with Dani, and I decided to track the food and just see what the damage was (hopefully not as bad as I imagined).



My week starts over on Wednesday, so I am now 31 PointsPlus in the hole for the week, with three more days to go. It's bad, but not as bad as I was imagining. In my mind, it might as well have been 400 PointsPlus in the hole ;)  I don't know if I'll be able to get out of the negative (I'd have to earn 10+ activity points per day, and only eat my minimum daily target, which is extremely difficult for me); but even if I don't get out of the hole, I am going to try to keep the damage to a minimum. If I hadn't tracked today, I would have just let myself get further and further into the negative until my week starts over.

Now that I know the weight isn't going to come off as fast as it did before, I think I'm just going to keep off the scale as long as possible, until I drop a jeans size or something drastic like that. I'm normally pretty good about not letting the scale get to me, but I think I was expecting so much because I've been 100% on-plan all month.

Even though I'm now starting over with Day 1 of being binge-free, this month hasn't been a total waste! I've been feeling really good and in control (until today), and my weight was going in the right direction. I'm bummed that I ruined my streak, but I am more determined than ever to get back to goal. It may not happen before I go to Portland in March, but it's still possible, and I'm going to try my best!


Tomorrow is Noah's big day--he's going to attempt to run an entire 5K! The farthest he's run in practice at one time is about 2-2.5 miles. Yesterday, he ran 2 miles at a fairly slow pace, and seemed like he could have gone another mile or two, so hopefully he'll feel the same way tomorrow. I'm going to make sure to pace him to stay at a slow pace for at least the first two miles. If he's feeling good, and wants to pick it up for the last mile, then he can go for it! We'll see if I can keep up with him ;)

16 comments:

  1. So I wrote a long post and don't know where it went. Lol it essentially said that you're human and will always hit bumps in the road. I LOVE the tracking everything method. It forces us to be honest with ourselves. You are such an amazing role model. I know I look up to you and your accomplishments. I also love your honesty. Makes us "average" people know that even people we look up to have the same challenges! Stay fabulous!! Xoxo! :)

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  2. That happens to me, too. I know how you feel. It can be so hard to stay off the scale, but for me it's essential...so much so that I have my husband hide it between weigh-ins. Otherwise I risk getting discouraged, saying "screw it!" and going on a binge. Hang in there!

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  3. Hmm, there's an add right in the middle of your blog so I wasn't able to read it.

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  4. Also, remember that when you have less weight to lose you don't lose as much each week. Each pound is a higher percentage of your overall weight. I don't lose quickly (I would be over the moon to lose even 1 pound a week), but now that I've lost 48 pounds I lose even more slowly. It was easier to have larger losses when I weighed more.

    BTW, I also track everything. I actually ended up slightly in the negative week before last but I tracked every bit of it. It does help.

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  5. Good for you for tracking it. Even though it sucks to see the numbers in the negative, it's keeping you honest and from giving up altogether.

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  6. I have about the same as you to lose and so far I have lost 10 pounds in 8 weeks. It is slow. Hang in there today is a new day!

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  7. You are such an inspiration!! Especially counting all those points. ( I am not that honest with my WW). Since may my running and eating have been terrible, and have gained about 10 + pounds. I like you am trying to get back into the swing of WW and eating right and tracking!!! Good Luck to you!!

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  8. I'm sorry you don't feel good about your progress--but it is really good progress. The slower weight comes off, the more likely you are to keep it off. I think tracking what you eat, even when it takes you way over your points budget is smart.

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  9. That darn scale!!! Why does it own us so much even when we say it's not going to? You just keep on keeping on. One day, one binge, one recovery, you're back on the road to losing again. Every day you just do your best. Every day you are the best! You go girl! I believe in you.

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  10. I'm the same as you. We are way harder on ourselves than others. I was hoping to hit the 220s this week and didn't. I was bummed, and frustrated. This weight loss thing happens too slowly sometimes. I have to remind myself of all my NSV though. I'm moving more than I ever have, and that's amazing! You are running, and that is amazing. You are doing great. Keep on trucking on! You got this. You know exactly what you need to do to gain those points back, now do it! You got this.

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  11. Lady! You know what? I could lose 3 lbs and never ever notice in my clothing. My belt certainly wouldn't move. So chin up! You got this!

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  12. good for you for being honest with us and with yourself, especially with tracking the binge. that's awesome!

    we all slip sometimes. good for you for getting back in the saddle!

    also, FWIW, i find that if i slip on one day, after a few days, the damage rapidly disappears. it's like my body realizes it was a temporary blip. so if you weighed right after your binge, your weight might be up but very soon thereafter, it goes right back to where it was.

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  13. Stephanie From BelgiumOctober 27, 2014 at 9:35 AM

    Dear Katie, this seems to me like the perfect moment to re-read "how to have your cake and you skinny jeans" trust me, it's useful to read it twice, or more. (thanks so much for speaking about it because I'm changing my life because of this book).

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  14. When I was going to WW the leader always told us .5 to 1.5 is the NORMAL average weekly loss. So don't even think about it. You are NORMAL!

    Also, maybe you want to change up your workouts. I know you love to run but maybe something different would help jumpstart some weight loss. Swimming, or a zumba class. Zumba torches tons of calories.

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  15. Katie you are my inspiration from the first blog I have read. I look up to you and your blog is helping me with my weight loss journey. Your speed bump (not set back because you are always moving forward) shows me that this journey is always a working process. You are an amazing person and this too shall pass :)

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  16. I really liked it when you were weighing in every wednesday. It was really encouraging to see someone else's real progress, even if there are weeks without a loss or even a gain. I know that it was discouraging to only lose 3 pounds but you still lost weight and that is a great victory to share.

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I'd love to hear from you! I read all of my comments, and if you have a question, I do my best to respond; sometimes, however, I get busy and forget to go back to reply, so if it's important, just email me! :)