Week 40 Weigh-in (and a change to Wed. Weigh-ins)

I'm back! While I did miss you all, I had a really nice week off of the internet. I didn't realize how refreshing it would be--for the most part, I enjoy writing in my blog, but sometimes, I need to just do things without worrying about taking pictures for the blog, or what I'm going to write about. For the last couple of days, though, I was ready to get back to writing. Even though I've been super busy this week, I felt very strange not blogging.

I've done a lot of thinking this week, and I decided to make a change in my weigh-ins. Since I've been going to therapy, I've been working on discovering what contributes to my anxiety--and one of the things that I hadn't realized was having a big effect was actually my weigh-ins. I like the weigh-ins, because they help me feel accountable, and I think that if I stop doing them completely, my weight might get out of control again.

When I was trying to lose weight, I loved weighing in on Wednesdays, because it was fun to see the losses add up each week; but now that I'm trying to maintain my weight (my goal is to stay at or below my "goal weight" of 133), the actual number itself isn't really anything to look forward to. Each week that I stay under 133, I feel like I'm successful, and I am happy with the weigh-in.

Now, in maintenance, even though I'm still five pounds under my goal weight, I was starting to let the weigh-ins affect my attitude on Mondays and Tuesdays, even if it wasn't a conscious effort. If a friend wanted to go out to lunch on Tuesday, for example, I would have anxiety about it because I knew I had to weigh in on Wednesday, and restaurant food always makes my weight go up a little (just from sodium).

Last week, Becky (my sister-in-law) came over for wine on Tuesday night, and I was worried about what that would do for my weigh-in the following morning--when I really shouldn't have been worried about that, because the wine fit into my calories just fine. Calorically, I can fit restaurant food and wine into my week, and it won't affect my overall weight; but the morning weight following those things reflects the previous day or two. (By the way, I am not saying that I have a *reason* to feel anxious over it--I know it's unreasonable. But that's what I'm working on.)

So, I started trying to think of a solution that still keeps me accountable, but doesn't cause that "Monday and Tuesday anxiety" I feel about my weigh-ins. At first, I thought maybe I could switch to monthly weigh-ins, but I think that might get out of control (I'd tried that in the past). Then I thought maybe I could just write whether I was "above goal" "at goal" or "below goal" to take the focus off the exact number (I wish there were scales that would do that! You would input a goal weight, and it would simply tell you whether you are at-, above- or below-goal); but I think doing that on my own is actually too vague for me right now. I feel like I need to post a number periodically.

I have an app on my phone called Happy Scale that keeps track of my "moving average" weight--it's a little confusing, but I'm starting to understand it better. On any given day, it looks at the past 10 days of weight logged and averages those weights. That way, one particular bad day or "that time of the month" or whatever doesn't "ruin" a weigh-in.

I really like that idea--inputing my weight into the app daily, and then on Wednesday, posting my "moving average" weight, which is the average weight of the last 10 days. It will keep me accountable by posting numbers, but I won't feel that pressure on Wednesday mornings to have my best weight of the week, if that makes sense.

I don't know how well this will work, so I'll do it as a trial for a couple of weeks and see what happens. If it makes my eating get out of control, then I'll go back to posting my Wednesday weight; but I think this seems like a good solution to have that accountability I need while not causing me to stress over the Wednesday weigh-ins. And my week will be more consistent. (If I was still trying to lose weight, I think I'd want to post a weekly weight; but this seems like a much better idea for maintenance, when my weight won't have drastic changes from week to week--at least I hope not!)

This week, my weight varied from 126.6 to 130.8, but my moving average is 128.3. I weighed in at 128.4 last Wednesday, so I'm happy with today's "moving average" weight. My calories were very similar to last week, at 2,122 per day on average. I'm happy with how the week went!

Here is a graph of this past week (the blue dots show my weight on each day, and the blue line is the average. I like that it shows my "maintenance weight" at 133 (the orange line), so I can visually see that my weight was under my maintenance weight all week. That makes me feel like I am on track with what I'm doing.

I don't really understand how this stuff is calculated, though. Below, it says my "lost all time" is 123 pounds, but at my current weight today, it should be 125. And it says I gained 0.2 in 7 days, which is calculated based on the average moving weight and not current weight, so it's kind of confusing. It will take some getting used to, I think, but I do like being able to see the trends--I'm up almost 4 pounds from 90 days ago, which isn't too terrible, but being able to monitor that can help keep it from getting out of control.

I do have to pat myself on the back, though, for doing so well with maintenance this time around! I'm very close to where I was 90 days ago, and also to when I reached my "official" goal in November, so I'm thrilled with that.

I like that I can set my objective to maintain, and I can choose a "high weight" that I want to stay under (in my case, it's 133). This is a nice idea for maintenance! If you are trying to lose weight, the options are a little different.

Anyway, this is a cool app that I think will be helpful, if I can just get used to the moving average idea. I like that it takes the focus off of one particular weigh in, and shows the full picture instead.

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I think I mentioned that in therapy, I'm working on focusing on the present and not on the future so much. Since I always tend to make big goal and focus on the end (like a race or a goal weight or something big like that), I miss out on all the things going on in the present. I also feel kind of lost once the goal is over with, so focusing on the present will help me from feeling the "let down" that I get after a big goal.

Instead of working on an end goal right now, I'm trying to come up with things that I can focus on today. I ask myself, "What can I do today to make me feel good?" And as far as my health goes, that involves running per my schedule and keeping my eating in check. I'm not worried about tomorrow, or next week, or the fact that I'm in "maintenance" mode for the forseeable future--but just today. I'm going to do what's best for me today, and if I continue to have that attitude daily, then my future should look pretty good. (This is hard to explain! Haha, but it makes sense in my head.)

One thing that I decided to try this week may sound completely ridiculous, but I have a good reason for it--I'm going to do my hair and make-up and get dressed in "real" clothes (no yoga pants! ha) every day for a week. I always feel so much better when I take the time to make myself look decent. Instead of waiting until late morning to run, I'm doing it as early as I'm able to (depending on the kids' schedule) and then showering and getting ready for the day.

8:00 AM this morning: post-run, -shower, -hair, and -make-up

I can't even describe how much better I feel throughout the whole day! It's something so simple, and it really only takes less than 45 minutes from the time I get in the shower to the time I'm done with my hair and make-up, so there is no reason not to do it. Yesterday, I had a bunch of errands to run, and I actually wouldn't have ducked behind a shelf if I'd run into someone I knew ;) I always admire people who look "put together" all the time, because I just never take the time to do it. And even if I don't have plans to leave the house all day, I really do feel much better about myself when I take that extra time in my appearance.

Over the weekend, I started a project I'd been thinking of for a long time--redecorating my bedroom! I don't have much extra money to put into redecorating right now, so this is going to be a long, drawn-out project on a tight budget, but I'm looking forward to the challenge. Over the weekend, I started by painting my bedroom furniture.

When Jerry and I got married, we used some of our wedding gift money to furnish our house. We bought a really nice solid oak bedroom set--a headboard, footboard, and rails for our bed; a dresser; and two nightstands. The furniture is extremely heavy and has held up really well over the years, but it looks outdated and frankly, I'm tired of it. Since the quality of it is really good, I decided just to paint the furniture and put some new drawer pulls on it.

I'm super bummed that I forgot to take before and after pictures of all of it! The only one I did was the nightstands. On Saturday, I hauled them out to the garage and spent the entire day sanding, priming, and painting. By the end of the day, they looked like completely different nightstands!

I love the new look, and it made our bedroom look so much brighter instantaneously. On Sunday, I continued with the dresser and bed frame. Here is an after pic of the headboard:

As I continue to do more with the bedroom, I'll try to remember to do before and after photos to share. Like I said, it's going to be a very long project, because there is a LOT that has to be done (we need new carpet, which may have to wait until next year). I've been looking through DIY stuff on Pinterest, and there are SO many great ideas! It's almost overwhelming. But it's fun to work on :)

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Week 39 Weigh-in

I feel like I'm really getting back in the groove of my routine, which is nice. I had a great week, and my weigh in this morning was good:

I was at 128.4, which is up 0.2 from last week, but I don't even really consider that a "gain"--just another successful week on maintenance with a minor fluctuation. My average calories this week were right around 2,200 per day. I'm still gradually trying to find out how much I can eat without gaining weight, and my calories have been increasing ever so slowly over the past several months. When I first started counting calories, I never imagined that I'd be able to eat over 2,000 calories a day and not gain weight! 

I woke up feeling extremely lazy yesterday, so I decided to put off my run until today. I was tentatively planning on doing a tempo run. This morning when I woke up, though, I had a terrible headache. I felt guilty putting off the run even longer, and after dinner, I finally decided to just go ahead and do it. I very rarely run in the evenings, and today it was actually pretty warm for a run, but I knew it would bug me if I didn't do it.

My plan was to run about an 8:00/mile pace for three miles. About a quarter mile in, my pace was in the mid-7:00's, so I started re-evaluating as I ran. Eventually, I decided to try and aim for my fastest mile time. My fastest mile was 7:36, and that was in 2013 as part of a three-miler. I pushed the pace just a bit more today, aiming for 7:35 or better. It was tough, because my stomach was full from dinner, and the temp was hot. I told myself that if I ran 7:35 or better, then I could jog the last two miles instead of running at tempo pace--haha, a big incentive!

Once I hit a mile, I saw that I'd done it! I ran it in 7:30--a new personal best. After that I slowed to a jog and my stomach was cramping up from having eaten dinner just 30 minutes prior. But I was pretty psyched that I set a new best mile time.

I haven't posted recently about how I'm doing with my long-term goals, so here's a quick update:

7,000+ steps 6+ days per week--I hit my goal 5 days this week, and not 6. I've been having a hard time with this one ever since I ran my 10K and I'm not "training" for anything. It's been raining quite a bit lately, so I didn't walk much this week. I'm going to make sure to hit my step goal this coming week. 

Staying binge-free--Today is Day 281! If I go 84 more days, it will be my longest binge-free streak ever. 

Try a new recipe once per week-- I've done this every single week, and I actually really look forward to trying new recipes. This week, other than the cake I made for dessert at Brian's, I made a Southwestern Chopped Salad with Buttermilk Ranch Dressing for dinner on Monday. 

The whole family loved this! Dividing the recipe into four portions makes for a very large meal-sized salad (each portion was 545 calories). 

Something I finally decided to try this week was avocado toast. I admit, whenever I would see photos of "avocado toast" on social media, I kind of rolled my eyes to myself--it just seemed like one of those health food trends like "kale chips" or something. But I was really craving avocado early this week, and I decided to give the avocado toast a try. I bought some Ezekiel bread for it because it's pretty hearty and will stand up to a heavy spread.

Avocado toast and a large green apple

Oh, man--I was in love at first bite! I will never again knock anything until I've tried it. If you haven't heard of avocado toast, it's literally just avocado on toast (you can slice the avocado or smash it like I did). I thought it would make the toast soggy, but it didn't at all. It was delicious! And the texture of the creamy avocado on hearty dry toast was perfect. I'd like to try it with a fried egg on top as well.

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I know I haven't been posting a whole lot lately, mainly because I just don't have a much to say without being redundant. But I'm actually going to take this entire week off of blogging, because my kids have a ton going on right now. They started baseball and Noah is doing track, so I'm getting adjusted to all the practices. Usually, the kids are on the same baseball team, but this year, we separated them. When I did that, I wasn't thinking about the fact that I'd be driving to twice as many practices! ;) I think it will be good for them to have their own teams, though. 

Anyway, while I get adjusted to a new routine with the kids, I'm going to take a little vacation from blogging and email. My next post will be for my Wednesday Weigh-in next week. Hope everyone has a great week!

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Mother's Day cook out

I hope all of you moms out there had a great Mother's Day yesterday! I had a fantastic day with the family. I headed out for my long run in the morning--just five miles--and it was nice to have it done by 8:00. I'd gotten so used to running in the late morning after breakfast, that I forgot how much I enjoyed getting it done early. During the summer, I'll probably get out early every day before it gets too hot. Jerry brought home doughnuts from Monica's for breakfast. I hadn't had a doughnut in a long time, and it sounded so good! I got a glazed sour cream doughnut, and it was delicious.

The boys went to church with my parents, and they each made a gift for me while they were there. They made a bookmark and filled out a sheet about me, which was so cute! Eli's made me laugh out loud:

"She is always saying, 'That looks so good'"--it's totally true. When I look for recipes on Pinterest, I always show things to Eli and say, "That looks so good!" People always laugh when my kids tell them their favorite food that I cook is Split Pea Soup. They LOVE it, and get so excited when I make it! Kids are so cute. Seeing this made me want to go through all of their old school papers to look at the past Mother's Day projects they've made me ;) They've grown up so much!

2007

2016

My older brother, Brian, invited us to his house for dinner. He also invited my parents and my younger brother, Nathan (Kendall had to work, and then she went to her parents' house). I was glad that I'd saved my high calorie day, because the last time we went to Brian's, I left there feeling STUFFED.

While we were driving to Brian's, Jerry and I both commented on how it felt like it was taking forever to get there. Then we realized that we weren't on the road we thought we were on. Thank God for Google Maps (which has helped me way too many times to count), we figured out where we were--10 minutes in the wrong direction. Haha, we still found our way. Brian and Becky haven't been living here that long, so we've only been to their house a handful of times. (They've recently sold their house in Minnesota, so now they are officially residents of Michigan!)

Brian was making homemade guacamole when we got there--I adore guacamole! We snacked on chips and guac while we waited for the ribs to finish cooking in the smoker. The guys played corn hole while I chatted with my mom and Becky.

For dinner, they'd made ribs with a dry rub, marinated grilled chicken, asparagus, and cheesy potatoes, and my mom brought a pineapple casserole (I brought dessert). Everything was SO good!

I normally don't really like eating meat "straight up" like that--if I eat meat, it's usually mixed in with other food--but the chicken that Brian marinated and grilled was phenomenal. The kids even said, "This chicken is better than the chicken at La Pita!" Haha, you KNOW it's good if it's better than La Pita ;)

For dessert, I'd made a Chocolate Peanut Butter Poke Cake that I found on Pinterest. It was extremely rich and caloric, but totally worth it (everyone loved it). Afterward, though, I felt super full and I wished I'd only eaten half a piece.

After dinner, my mom and I got in the jacuzzi with the kids. I only lasted about 10 minutes before the heat got to me, but it was so nice!

Meanwhile, the guys were all standing around my brother's lawnmower. My mom, Becky, and I were cracking up at the "typical boys" and I took this picture of them ;) They were standing around talking about the lawnmower for probably 15 minutes!

We chatted for a little bit and then it was time to head home. It was a fun evening! I wish that my sister lived in Michigan, because it would have been fun to have her there, too, but I love getting to see my brothers as frequently as I'm able to now. This was probably my favorite Mother's Day yet!

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From Fat to Finish Line documentary release dates!

It's been four years in the making, and we finally--FINALLY--have a release date for From Fat to Finish Line, the documentary!

This whole project started in late 2011. I was recovering from my lower body lift surgery, and I got an email from a man named Rik. Rik told me that he had the same surgery a few weeks after I did, and he was very grateful for the posts I wrote about my experience. He said it helped to see what he had coming as far as recovery goes.

In his introduction, he mentioned that he'd done a Ragnar Relay, and I told him that I'd done one as well. We wrote about how much fun they were, and how cool would it be to run a Ragnar with other people like us? (People who had lost a lot of weight and become runners.)

Rik and me in October 2012

At first, I thought it was just talk, but we quickly realized we could actually make it happen if we wanted to. I really didn't want to do the leg work of all that a Ragnar entails (captaining a team is a TON of work). He said he didn't mind that part, but he only knew of one or two people who we could ask. Because of my blog, I know of a LOT of people who have lost weight and started running, so I had that part covered. Between the two of us, we could turn the talk into reality.

It took almost no time at all before we had a team of 11. We held off on one spot (the team requires 12 people) so that we could offer it to one of my blog readers who may have never commented or emailed me before. We had several people "apply", and Meredith's letter blew us away. We decided as a team that Meredith was the our 12th teammate. (You can see links to each member's story on this page).

We started a private Facebook group to get to know each other (we were all strangers to each other!). We had lost a collective 1200 pounds between the 12 of us, and we'd all become runners during our journey--some of us having done marathons, and some just starting at the 5K level--but we all had a common bond.

We decided on the Ragnar Florida Keys in January 2013, and started making appropriate plans for that. One of the girls on our team, Jennifer, is a co-owner of a film company called Media Meld Studios. She and her partner, Angela, thought this whole story would make a great documentary film.

Angela and Jennifer decided to go ahead with the filming, and throughout 2012, they traveled to each team member's hometown to film interviews. Meanwhile, Rik and I made plans to run the Detroit Marathon together in October 2012, and it would be the first time we'd meet in person--naturally, Jennifer and Angela wanted to get that on film.

Jennifer and Angela came out here to Michigan to film interviews in June 2012, and then again in October to film Rik and I meeting for the first time and running the race together.

With Jennifer and Angela in June 2012

With Rik at the starting line of the Detroit Marathon 2012

In other exciting news, The Today Show heard about the documentary in the works, and they wanted to air a piece about it. They made plans to go to Miami and Key West to film us as well! This whole thing just kept getting more and more unbelievable to me.

Finally, in January 2013, all 12 teammates, the production and film crew for the documentary, as well as The Today Show, flew down to Miami to meet for the first time. It was so fun to get to see all these people I'd been chatting with for a year! We had a great connection, and I knew the race was going to be a blast. I wrote all about the race and our time in Miami and Key West on several posts.

Finish line photo in Key West

Posts about the race:
Bienvenido a Miami 
Ragnar Relay Florida Keys, Part 1
Ragnar Relay Florida Keys, Part 2
Ragnar Relay Florida Keys, Part 3
Ragnar Relay Florida Keys, Part 4
The Today Show aired! 

Here is the clip from the Today Show:

After arriving back home, several of us appeared on our local news stations to talk about the film. And the production crew got to work on editing hundreds of hours of film down to a single movie. They also had to find investors in the film, which is a huge process in itself. I had no idea how much work, money, or energy goes into making a documentary!

For the last three years, Angela and Jennifer (as well as their film crew and editors) have been working like crazy on this project. The film was completed last year, but they still had to work on getting it publicized--at film festivals and available on digital networks. The film premiered at the Nashville Film Festival last summer, and while I wasn't able to be there, I was told that it was a big hit with the audience.

There was a screening of it in Vegas last November for the From Fat to Finish Line community. And there will be a screening in San Diego this July. The film will be available to the public shortly after that...

The official release date is August 2, 2016! From Fat to Finish Line will be available on VOD (Video On Demand) for iTunes and on Amazon Prime. If you pledged money on IndiGoGo for a DVD, that will be sent out and you will receive it around that time as well (Angela hopes to get them out just before the VOD release date). Then, in early September, the film will be available on Netflix.

Crazy, right?! I'm in a film that is going to be on NETFLIX. Even though I've known about this for four years, I guess I never really believed it would get this far. But the contracts are signed, and it's happening. Wow.

When I go to Virginia Beach over Labor Day weekend, there is going to be a screening of the film as well--and it's open to the public, so if any of you are interested in seeing it with me, I'd love to meet up! The film screening will be September 3rd (the Rock 'n' Roll Half is on the 4th, and a lot of the From Fat to Finish Line community is doing that). It should be a fun time!

I'll close with the trailer for the film. I've shared it several times before, but it still gets to me every time!


I'll be sharing a few other promo videos as they are released as well.
The website for the film: www.fattofinish.com
On Twitter:  www.twitter.com/FattoFinishFilm
On Facebook:  www.facebook.com/fattofinish
IMDb page: From Fat to Finish Line 

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Fat Secret

After thinking about it all week, I decided that I'm not going to set a big goal to work on this summer. I talked to my therapist about it yesterday, and she agreed that it was a good idea. I'm going to try and focus on the present, instead of always looking into the future. There is nothing wrong with setting goals, but when I constantly focus on a goal in the future, 1) I'm missing out on the present; and 2) I feel very let down and lost after the goal is over with (like I don't even know what to do or think about anymore). That is exactly what happened after the 10K--I felt kind of lost and unsure of where to turn next.

My plan for the summer is to hopefully maintain a weight at or below my goal weight (focusing on one day at a time). I'm going to continue to count my calories as I've been doing, because it's working out very well. I'll run for exercise, even though I'm not "training" for anything right now. I'll also do other things to stay active (bike riding, walking Joey, etc.).

It feels kind of odd not to be training for something. I've always been working toward an end goal (whether it's a race or particular mileage or something like that); and right now, I'm just concerned about the here and now. It's actually pretty refreshing!

This morning, I went for an easy run and cut through the marsh to get back home. I love running back there! I didn't go back there all winter because of hunting season, but it's pretty safe now. I was getting ready to take a photo while I was running, and I accidentally took this one--I think it actually looks pretty cool! I was out early, so the sun was still really low.

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A few days ago, when I was logging my food into My Fitness Pal (like I'd been doing every single day since August), I noticed that MFP put ads right in the middle of my food log. They've always had ads on the home page, and I was fine with that... it's a free app, and they have to make money somehow. But by putting ads in the middle of my food log, every time I logged a food item, the ad refreshed, causing a delay of a few seconds. It was so annoying!

My Fitness Pal has a premium version, which is $50 per year. That will get rid of ads, but there aren't any other features of the premium version that I am interested in, so that would be very expensive to just get rid of the ads. If they had a one-time fee to eliminate ads, I wouldn't mind paying that; but, it's not an option. I was bummed, because MFP was a great app! But I just couldn't deal with the ads in middle of my food log refreshing every time I tapped something. So, I started researching other options...

SparkPeople is another popular one, and I wrote on the blog about trying it out for a week. There are several things I don't care for with that app, so I didn't want to use that one. I finally ended up choosing Fat Secret. And I love it! So far, I actually like it even better than My Fitness Pal. Here is a brief rundown...

Pros:

• Free app with no ads.
• Very clean looking; not cluttered or flashy.
• Customizable to show the nutrients that you are interested in. Since all I focus on is calories, it's nice to eliminate the clutter of seeing carbs, fat, fiber, sodium, etc. Here is an example--one is with several nutrients selected, and the other is just the calories. You can choose what and how much it displays:

• The database is MUCH less confusing than MFP. On MFP, there are hundreds of entries of the same item (submitted by users), and many of them are incorrect. It takes a lot of sorting through to find what you're looking for. On Fat Secret, there is only one item listed, and so far, they've all been correct for me (I'm guessing they are verified? I don't know this for sure.).
• Easier than MFP to enter food by weight instead of dry measurements.
• Barcode scanner.
• Weight tracker.
• Support community.
• Ability to invite your dietician, trainer, doctor, or health professional to access your food, exercise, and weight info.
• Recipe builder.
• Large database of user-submitted recipes with photos.
• To submit a new food to the database, you have to take photos of the package, the ingredients, the nutrition label, etc. I think this may be for verifying the info. I like this!

Cons:

• You can't connect to Fitbit, Garmin, or any other trackers (you have to manually enter exercise).
• To share foods with others, you have to use the desktop version, not the app (Jerry likes to copy my entries for dinner, for example, so that has to be done on the desktop version).
• There is no "1/3" or "2/3" measurement when entering food. This hasn't been a problem for me yet, because I like to enter food by weight, but if you use measuring cups, it may be an issue.
• As far as I know, you can't import recipes from the web; they have to be entered manually.

It's actually kind of fun to use something new! I had never heard of Fat Secret before, but I'm glad that I checked it out. It's exactly what I am looking for in a calorie counting app.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

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Week 38 Weigh-in (and thoughts on The Biggest Loser NY Times article)

This week was much better than last! I pushed myself out of the funk I was in last week, and felt much more motivated. I felt really good about my eating this week, too--I tried to stick with my 8:00-12:00-4:00-8:00 schedule (I do best when I eat at particular times of the day--otherwise, I convince myself that I'm hungry all day when I'm really not).

I said last week that my goal for the week was going to be feeling at peace with food--not try to cut back or anything to get to my pre-vacation weight, but just focus on getting back into my pre-vacation routine. I didn't realize how much a vacation would mess with my normal patterns! I thought that once I got back home, I'd have no problem getting back to normal. But it took a couple of weeks to make it happen.

For my Wednesday Weigh-in, the scale is exactly the same as last week, which I am happy with:

Speaking of maintenance, I've gotten several emails from people asking my thoughts about the article that was in the NY Times about The Biggest Loser contestants.

The gist of the article is that researchers followed up with the Season 8 contestants over the last six years to see what happened after dropping a large amount of weight with a vigorous diet and exercise program (i.e. The Biggest Loser contest). The research showed that the vast majority of the contestants gained back most, if not all or more, of the weight they lost. It also showed that the reason for this may not be due to willpower or lack of motivation, but due to a biological response by the body to lower metabolism. Basically--it's not their fault.

There is a lot more to it, which you can read at the link above, but that's the gist. After reading the article, I thought it was actually kind of depressing and pessimistic. It was almost like they were saying it was hopeless to lose the weight, because your body is going to force you to gain it back by lowering your metabolism to much lower than it should be for someone of your age and size.

For someone with a large amount of weight to lose, the article makes it sound like they might as well not even bother to lose the weight. The biggest flaw in the article, in my opinion, is that the study focused on The Biggest Loser participants only--there was no comparison to people who lost the weight in a much more sustainable way (losing a recommended 1-2 pounds per week with a sensible diet and exercise plan).

The article described one man's regimen in which he created a 3,500 calorie PER DAY deficit! Here is a short quote from the article about that:

To me, that sounds absolutely miserable. If that's what it would take to be thin, I wouldn't want to be thin. (I hope that obese people reading the NY Times article don't read that and think that's what it takes to lose the weight! I'm proof that it doesn't.)

I would really like to see a study done with people who have lost the weight in a more gradual and sustainable way, because I am willing to bet that the results would be much different. I agree that maintenance is very difficult, but I think that's because of habits that are ingrained in my brain from YEARS of abusing my body with binge eating.

My metabolism is just fine--this week, I averaged 2,016 calories per day), and maintained my weight  (of course, I haven't been on maintenance very long, so this could change eventually). I exercise a reasonable amount (I run about 15-20 miles per week, and get in roughly 7,000-10,000 steps per day on average). My diet is certainly not drastic--I eat whatever I want, and I just keep my portions under control.

Maintenance is different for everybody, of course, just like losing weight is--but I don't think that it's hopeless! I know that I'll always have to be careful with my choices, and probably have to count calories for the rest of my life, and I'm totally okay with that. I will probably always have to deal with emotional eating, but I feel like I am in control over whether I choose to eat for reasons other than hunger. I don't think that my body is forcing me to gain weight back.

My best advice for weight loss has always been this: Only make changes that you're willing to live with FOREVER. This idea came to me before I lost the weight, when a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to audition for The Biggest Loser with her. I said no--and the reason I said no was because I knew that going on the show would mean eating tiny amounts of bland food and exercising all day long like it's my job. I honestly would rather have stayed overweight than live like that.

My friend said that it wouldn't be forever, it would just be for the duration of the show. And that's when it hit me--what would happen after the show? I would gain back all the weight, because I wasn't willing to keep that routine forever. So, I thought, "Why don't I just lose the weight the way that I'm willing to live with forever?"

And for me, that meant not exercising (at the time, I despised exercise, so I decided not to do it). I also decided not to cut out my favorite things (particularly, desserts); and instead, I would work them into my food plan. I ate what I wanted, and cut back on portions. I didn't force myself to eat things I didn't like. It was very simple! (Not to be confused with "easy"). Eventually, those changes became habits for me. And I found several months later that I actually wanted to try exercising. I got hooked on running, and you know the rest of the story.

I completely understand the appeal of just gutting it out for a few months to drop all the weight quickly, and THEN worry about maintenance--but I knew that wasn't the answer for me. And now, reading through that article, I am so glad that I made the choice that I did. I lost an average of 1.8 pounds per week, so it took me 16 months to lose 125 pounds--much longer than the contestants on The Biggest Loser--but I have now kept the majority of the weight off for six years. That's the same amount of time that the researchers have been following up with the contestants.

I'm very curious about what my tests would say if the researchers would do them on me--it would be an interesting comparison! I also would have liked to see the researchers look at some of the former contestants that DID manage to keep the weight off, and see what happened with their metabolism. Pete Thomas would be a great example. He lost 185 pounds in nine months when he was on the show back in season two. When I had the pleasure of meeting him a few years ago, he told me all about the changes he made in his habits, that he still holds today. He eats something like 2,500 calories a day and has maintained his weight loss for 11 years now. (Pete even wrote in his book, "My number one principle of nutrition is: Never, ever, EVER start a diet that you can't maintain for the rest of your life.")

All of this is really just to say that I thought the article was interesting, but the research was lacking a lot of info that could have been very helpful. I hope that the article doesn't discourage people from trying to lose weight with diet and exercise--maybe just the extreme way that it was done on the show. But my life is a million times better now than it was 7-8 years ago, and much of that has to do with my weight loss. I can do so many things that I never would have been able to if I hadn't lost the weight. Maintenance is a bitch, I'm not going to lie--but I'll keep working on it, and it's worth the effort!

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Track Tuesday

On my TimeHop today, I was reminded that it was seven years ago since my infamous "before" photo was taken during the Indy 500 Festival Mini Marathon. I can't believe it's been seven years! I walked that half-marathon with a time of 3:51, which earned 29,458th place out of 30,280 finishers. Surprisingly, I felt pretty good throughout that race--MUCH better than I had the year before, despite being 40 pounds heavier. I had trained for it, which made a big difference.

Anyway, I kept that outfit--the blue shirt and black pants that I'd bought especially for that race, so that I could look good in my photos ;) Hahaha, I was horrified with my photos from the year prior, so I wanted to have photos I was proud of. Instead, when I saw the race pics, I nearly died on the spot. I couldn't BELIEVE that the girl with the blue shirt was me! Was I seriously that big? As a size 24, I didn't see myself as that large--I thought I probably looked like I was a size 16 or 18. But the race pics confirmed what I just wasn't able to see.

Today, I thought it would be fun to take some photos in "the outfit" for comparison's sake:

I wanted to try and post like I was for that photo, but I couldn't let go of my pants, because they would fall right down to my ankles. I had to hold them up. I can easily fit both of my legs into one pant leg, and the shirt is twice my width. I'm so glad that I saved those clothes! They really make me realize how far I've come. They used to FIT me--the shirt is a size 3XL and the pants are a 2XL. It was fun to see the pictures :)

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When Jerry came home from work this morning, he was kind of excited and said that he saw a beaver at the end of our street (it had recently been hit by a car, so it was dead). I asked, "You mean a woodchuck?" because I'm 34 years old and I've never seen an actual beaver in my life. Jerry insisted it was a beaver, and even showed me a picture he took of it on his phone.

When he was driving by, he thought, "What in the world is that?" because it was huge--much bigger than the usual raccoons or possums that we see here all the time. He pulled over, and at the same time, another man going the opposite direction pulled over to check it out as well. They were both shocked to discover that it was a beaver! They moved it out of the road (it was about 50-60 pounds--not exactly something you want to leave in the middle of the road).

I started reading online about them, because I was really curious about it being here. Apparently, beavers used to be endangered because they were trapped for their fur; but they've been making a big comeback, and they're all over the place now. I had no idea.
I was really sad that it was dead, but I think it's kind of cool that we have beavers living in front of our house now. Ever since the DNR flooded the land across from our house, we've seen a lot of wildlife showing up--turtles, frogs, geese, ducks, and now beavers. (There is a family of geese living on the dike--there are six goslings, and they're adorable! The mom and dad get very angry whenever I run by them, haha)

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After my 10K last month, I cut my speed work back to once a week--just for maintenance. I like doing my speed work on Tuesday, for some reason, and today I decided to do intervals. It was super foggy this morning when I drove Noah to school, so instead of running on the roads (and risk getting hit by a car), I chose to head to the high school's outdoor track. The last time I did speed work on the track was in October 2014!

I ran a mile warm-up, and as I was running, I was wondering if I ran as fast as I could, what my mile time would be. I don't think I've ever run a mile as fast as I can, because it just seems so torturous! I was debating doing that instead of the 5 x 400's I had planned on. As I was rounding the fourth lap of my warm-up, I remembered that I'd already set up my Garmin for the intervals, so I decided just to stick with the original plan. One day, though, I'd like to run a mile at all-out effort just to see what I could do. According to McMillan's calculator, and based on my 10K time, I could run a mile in 6:48. A sub-7 mile?! That just seems crazy. My fastest recorded mile is 7:36, which was part of a 5K run.

I definitely did the first interval too fast today, because I was unsure if I could even continue after that! Haha, I felt spent. For recovery, I walked 300 meters, then jogged 100, and then started the next interval. I was hoping for a pace between 6:40-7:00 for my intervals, but I didn't look at my pace at all during the workout. It was tough, and I was glad I was only doing five intervals!

My splits ended up being 1:36, 1:42, 1:41, 1:39, and 1:42 (which translates to a pace of 6:26, 6:49, 6:47, 6:37, and 6:50). I was thrilled with these!

It's kind of interesting--I went back and read about my last track workout, which was in October 2014. It was the same workout that I did today, but my pace was MUCH slower. My pace back then was 8:20, 7:45, 7:56, 7:53, 7:48, and that was giving it my all out effort. Average pace in October 2014 for these splits on the track was 7:56; today, it was 6:41! I'm kind of stunned at the improvement--and that workout in 2014 was before I got injured, which shows just how out of shape I'd gotten.

Anyway, I'm going to alternate doing an interval workout with a tempo run every week--so next week, I'll do a tempo, and then the following week, I'll do another track workout. That way, I'm not always doing the same thing and I'll hit different paces. Other than those, I'll be doing a lot of low heart rate running. I'm curious to see what happens in the summer! My heart rate is always higher in the heat, so my pace will probably get slower as it gets hotter; but I'm looking forward to running nice and easy throughout the summer, because I'm not training for anything in particular.

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Weekend bullets

I haven't really had much to say lately at all, so I haven't been writing. I've been having a good week! Just nothing exciting happening around here :)

Here are some bullets:

• I still haven't decided on a goal for fall, and after talking to my therapist about it, I actually think I'm going to choose NOT to make a big goal for this fall. Because I always feel the need to be hyper-focused on something in order to stay on track with my eating and exercise, I haven't learned how to stay on track without setting a huge goal. This summer, I'd like to be content with where I am and how I am doing things. Maybe in the fall, I'll think of a spring goal to work on. (There is nothing wrong with having goals, of course; but I want to learn to be content even when I'm not actively working on a tough goal.)

• I went for my first bike ride of the season last week, and it wasn't as fun as I'd hoped, unfortunately. It was super windy, which made it difficult; but also, the road commission repaved the roads around here last year, and they're awful. They used gravel and tar to form this really bumpy, rough surface. It's not even fun to run on, but biking is terrible. I'm super bummed. 

• Our new tankless water heater is working great--it's so nice to be able to shower and do dishes and laundry all at the same time, without running out of hot water ;) Jerry worked hard to put in the new floor, and he finished it up this morning. I was so excited to be able to do laundry! It's been piling up all weekend, because the washer and dryer were in the garage while we fixed the water heater problem. I'm so grateful for my brother--if not for Brian, we would have had to pay thousands for someone to come do the work he did. 

• Speaking of Brian, he recently flew a charter flight from NYC to Rome for presidential candidate Bernie Sanders. Regardless of what anyone thinks of Sanders, I think it's pretty cool that Brian was asked to pilot his plane. In Brian's words on Facebook: "Charter flight for Bernie. He and his family are very nice! If only being a "good guy" makes for a good president he'd have my vote. It's how we pay for "free college for everybody," "free health care for all," and "free HBO for the first year," that give me pause."

Brian is the second from the left

• Lately, I've been working on a puzzle in the evenings, and while I'm doing that, I like to have a diet tonic with lime (bonus if it includes vodka, but I usually don't). I don't like to have to deal with fresh limes, so I've always used True Lime packets (the only ingredient is crystalized lime). I ran out of them a couple of days ago, so I apparently decided I never wanted to be in that situation again, because I ordered a 500-pack on Amazon. Haha! I'm set for at least a year. (In my defense, it's SO much cheaper to order it in bulk.)

Each packet is equivalent to the juice of one wedge (which means I now
have roughly the equivalent of 62 limes in my pantry).

• I have been listening to a podcast recently that I really love. It's called Evil Sugar Radio, and the hosts are two guys who focus on debunking popular diet myths and promoting intuitive eating. Their viewpoint is exactly like mine--I eat whatever I want, just keeping my portions from getting out of hand--and it's refreshing to listen to. I get a lot of criticism for the way I eat, but it works well for me and I enjoy it. I never knew there was actual science behind it, but the hosts of the show get into that stuff. Anyway, it's super entertaining! (You'll like the podcast if you're an intuitive eater; but it will probably make you angry if you're into paleo. Just a fair warning.)

• I recently finished the entire series of White Collar on Netflix in an embarrassingly short amount of time. What a great show!! I was hooked from the very first episode. It's about a man who breaks out of prison only to be caught by the FBI, and then he starts working for the FBI's White Collar division... all with his own agenda on the back burner. It's a drama, but kind of light-hearted. I love the characters on the show (and the actors who play them). 

• As soon as I finished White Collar, I started watching the series Prison Break for the second time. I loved that show, and after seeing this Facebook post by Wentworth Miller (main character on the show), I wanted to watch it again. I never would have guessed that Miller was going through severe depression, or that he used food to cope. It made me sad for him, but I could also relate on so many levels. Here is a short quote from his response to a meme that was posted about his weight gain:

(Here is the full post by Miller)

• After Ragnar SoCal in 2014, I decided to retire the overnight relays. However, Ragnar recently announced that they are doing a race in Michigan! It's in the northwest lower peninsula, and it takes place Sept. 30-Oct. 1, which is a GORGEOUS time of year to be there. (It ends in Traverse City, which is known for their wineries--Jerry and I went there in 2014 after a race in Cadillac.) My brother, Nathan, mentioned that he would really like to do it; and honestly, I kind of want to also, just because it's Michigan. So, it looks like Nathan and I are going to be co-captaining a Ragnar team this fall :) 

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Home repair

Jerry and I have lived in this house ever since we got married nearly 13 years ago. Neither of us had any clue about home maintenance, so we've just been dealing with issues as they come up. After about 10 years, we started having little things here and there that needed to be replaced, but luckily, we haven't had anything major happen.

Yesterday evening, I went into the utility room to feed the cats, and I noticed water on the floor. The only place it could have come from was the water heater. We've known for a while that the water heater would need replacement soon, but we kept putting it off (word of advice--don't put it off! ha). I called Jerry at work to tell him about the water heater, and he ended up coming home. My brother Brian came over as well (he does all sorts of DIY stuff, and Jerry didn't have any idea what to do about the leak). I noticed that the floor felt kind of soft in front of the water heater, so Brian and Jerry pulled back some of the linoleum to check it out.

The floor surrounding the water tank was totally rotted from water damage!

We couldn't see it before because the linoleum covered it up. It wasn't until I stepped down and felt a soft spot on the floor that I realized something was wrong.

Anyway, I was shocked when I saw it! Brian and Jerry took the water heater out, and from the looks of it, it clearly should have been replaced a long time ago. They also had to take out the washer and dryer. They pulled up all the linoleum, and then the subfloor. I couldn't believe what a disaster the whole thing was.

By 10:00 pm, the room looked like this:

I wish I had a before picture, but I wasn't exactly planning on renovating ;)

I knew that I wanted to get a tankless water heater. They're more expensive up front, but they're very energy efficient and we won't run into this problem again later on. Jerry's dad and Brian came over this morning, and the three of them worked on the room all day. Brian set up the gas and water for the new water heater, which required tearing out a lot of the wall. Then they had to put in a new subfloor, repair the wall, and hang the water heater.

The water heater is the size of a carry-on suitcase! Soooo much smaller than the 40-gallon tank we had before. Now, we'll have a lot of extra space in that room (we keep the litter box and cat food in there, as well as the washer, dryer, and furnace).

The water heater is that white box. It heats water as you use it, rather than heating and storing it in a tank. Brian has one and he loves it.

Now, we have to finish the walls and floor, but at least we have hot water! Jerry and I learned a lot about home maintenance, too--I had no idea that water heaters actually have a "life expectancy". And I'm sure ours wasn't expected to last 13 years! ;) Jerry learned how to replace flooring, which will come in handy when we redo our bathroom next year (another project that we've been putting off).

This whole thing was a disaster, but interestingly, I wasn't stressed about it. I think that going to psychotherapy every week has been helping with my anxiety. Normally, this sort of issue would have sent me over the edge, and I would have been super stressed over it. But even though the house was torn up and we had to spend a lot of money on the credit card, I felt calm about the whole thing.

I had a great day yesterday and today with getting back to feeling peaceful about food, too. I've been eating what I want, and counting the calories for it, and I don't feel anxious about it. I think writing yesterday's post was almost therapeutic in a way, because it helped me sort out my thoughts about the bad week I had. Speaking of eats, check out what Brian brought the kids from Japan! They requested Japanese candy, so Brian fooled them with this dried squid before giving them actual candy.

I ate one of them, just to try it (I love to try new things) and I was surprised that I actually really liked the texture of it (it was like jerky). But the taste was kind of fishy, and I wasn't crazy about it. Still, it was interesting to try!

Tomorrow, I may be going to Pinckney again with Nathan to do a long run on the trails. This week is off to a great start, despite the utility room disaster!

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Week 37 Weigh-in

Let me just start off by saying that this past week was the worst week I've had since I started counting calories 37 weeks ago--yikes! (I don't mean the "worst" as in weight gain, but more of how difficult it was.)

I didn't binge; but like I wrote yesterday, I was just lacking all sorts of motivation this week. Eating, running, blogging, all of it. I only got in my step goal five times (and there wasn't a good reason to not get in the steps on the other two days); I only wrote a couple of blog posts, mainly because nothing was happening and I just didn't feel like writing; I didn't try any new recipes; and my eating was totally out of the norm (again, for no real reason). Sometimes, I'll have a bad run for no particular reason; so I think maybe this is similar, in that I just had a bad week in general.

I could even see that my weight was up a bit, but I just didn't care. I don't feel like the lack of motivation was a permanent thing (hopefully this week will be better), but it was definitely a rough week. And it showed up on the scale today (although not as bad as I imagined it would be):

I was 128.2, so I was up 1 pound from last week. Not a huge gain, but those pounds do add up over time! (Also, I'm not being hard on myself--I'm just stating the facts.) Today has been a great day, so hopefully my funk from last week is over. I've been thinking about what happened, and here are my thoughts:

After my 10K was over, I felt an enormous sense of relief. I had set a near-impossible goal and I reached it--yay! But it took a huge toll on me mentally. I was so completely focused on that goal that when it was over, I felt kind of lost. I think that contributed to the lack of motivation I felt all week. Without a big goal in front of me, I just didn't really feel the drive to continue what I'd been doing.

In Seattle, I did the cupcake crawl with Laurel, and I absolutely loved that. When I got home, however, I thought I'd better try to cut back on the sugar because I'd eaten so much sugar in Seattle. I *knew* that "cutting back" was a mistake, but I still did it. Whenever I try to cut back on or cut out anything at all, it either makes me binge or I lose control somewhere else. I managed not to binge (barely), but this week was the most difficult week I've had, and I certainly strayed from my normal eating patterns.

When I saw the gain on the scale last week, I wasn't bothered in the slightest--I'd gone on a very fun vacation, and it was worth a 3.2-pound gain on the scale. But again, I decided I should try to cut back in order to take that weight back off, and it messed with my head. The lesson I learned this week is that I need to just keep doing what I was doing all along, and my weight will adjust and fall where it wants to. The most important thing to me is to keep peace with food, and I didn't have that this past week. Instead, I felt stressed about food.

This coming week, I am not even going to worry about losing any weight (I'm still 5 pounds under my goal weight anyway); instead, I'm going to focus on getting back to that peaceful place with food. Eating whatever I want, not trying to cut back on anything, and maintaining balance. For 36 weeks, I wasn't worried about food at all, and I felt good about it; then this past week, it was like I turned into the "old me" on Weight Watchers, trying to make up for the gain on the scale, and allowing it to stress me out.

As far as the motivation goes, I really want to come up with a goal that gets me excited, like the 10K goal did. I haven't quite figured out what that will be, though. Lori mentioned on yesterday's post that maybe I could come up with a biking goal instead of running, and I like that idea--although I have no idea what kind of goal that would be. Maybe I could try to bike a certain mileage through the summer? Or slowly work my way up to being able to bike a "century" ride (100 miles)? The most I've ever ridden in one day is 30 miles, so that would be a pretty big challenge--but that's exactly what I'm looking for. I want it to be very challenging--even borderline-impossible ;) (Triathlons are out--I just don't have any interest in them.)

I'm going to think about it some more, and put together a plan this week--regardless of what I decide for my next big goal. I just want a new focus to keep me motivated!

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