On This Day (April 10)

I hate to do another rather-nonsense post today because of the pre-written travel posts I did while I was at Jeanie's last week, but I literally have 30 minutes to get this done. I thought baseball season was exhausting when Eli was on JV--but now that he's playing varsity, it feels non-stop! I spent a week at my sister's house, then came home and had three double-header baseball games and now a single game today--within a week. Tomorrow is another.

If I was used to this kind of schedule year-round, I'm sure I would be a pro at it--but right now, I am still trying to adjust my days to center around Eli's baseball games. I'm sure I'll get the hang of it in a couple of weeks, but right now I feel like time is non-existent, haha.

So, I'll just share some photos from April 10 over the years...

This is one of my favorite pictures EVER. Some of my Ragnar "Sole Mates" team--clearly very cold by the ocean!

This is at the Henry Ford Museum

Noah showing Eli how to play with the toys on his bouncer

My dad with all of the Bob Ross gifts he got for Christmas. He taught himself to paint by watching Bob Ross and he's gotten SO good! It's amazing to see his first ones versus the ones he's done recently. I'll have to do a post about it.

Phoebe, the day before I had an appointment to have her put down. I was SO sad saying goodbye to her while she laid on my electric blanket. Then the next morning, she started eating again... and now it's a year later! She's still doing good--it's very hard to get her to eat, but I think she may be around for a while longer.

I just love this picture of Jerry and Joey smiling together

I walked into the kitchen to find Noah and Eli positioning Eli to look like one of his Army guys (Eli was OBSESSED with those Army soldiers that come in a bucket. For years, they were his favorite toy.)

One of our squirrels, using the picnic table I'd built.

And finally, this was the day that I reached my 10K goal of running a personal record. I worked SO SO SO hard to hit my goal (under 49:23) and I did it in 49:03!

Okay, I've got to rush to Eli's game and hope that tomorrow I'll be able to write a "real" post before ANOTHER game. I really do love watching the games--and today's weather is much better than the last week's has been.

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Getting To Know You Questions

I am at a complete loss for words as to what to write about today, so I just used a website to grab some random "get to know you" questions. I tried to pick things that I either haven't written about before or that I wrote about long ago and don't remember doing it. Here goes...

What is the dumbest way you injured yourself?

This was probably when I was at Nathan's house in 2020--just before the pandemic--and I was removing his popcorn ceiling. To do that, I had to spray water on the ceiling, let it soak in for a minute, then scrape it off with a drywall knife. He had new carpet, so I didn't want to get any on the carpet and I covered the entire floor with plastic.

I wasn't wearing shoes or socks because they would just get caked with wet drywall mud. Well, water on plastic is slippery! I climbed a ladder next to his fireplace and held onto the mantle to balance myself while I scraped the ceiling.

Apparently, his mantle wasn't attached to the fireplace very well, because when I put my weight against it, the entire thing flipped up into the air and the next thing I knew, my feet slipped out from under me and the ladder crashed down. My elbow hit the bricks so hard as I fell that I actually broke a brick in half! I'm lucky I only wound up with a lot of bruises and not any broken bones.

This isn't from the fall at Nathan's, but it's the worst bruise I've gotten in a stupid way. I was standing on a chair while working on remodeling the house, and I slipped. My shin slid right along the front of the seat of the chair all the way down and this was the resulting bruise!

What is one thing that instantly makes your day better?

Memes. Always, memes. I have hundreds of them saved on Pinterest (most are private, however, because some people may find them dark or tasteless--I love dark humor). I have a couple of friends who like memes as well, so when we find good ones, we share them with each other. I especially like mental illness memes when my day is going badly. I have a post with a lot of those here. 

What do you enjoy spending money on?

I actually really love spending money on gifts for other people. Just random things that make me think of them. It's so hard to resist! Before I was diagnosed with bipolar and started medication, that's a major reason we'd gotten into credit card debt. When I was hypomanic, I would start shopping around on Amazon and buy things for people. I just get very excited to give someone a gift that I think will make them smile.

As for spending money on myself... my very favorite thing to spend money on is thrift shopping. I love going to thrift stores and browsing around for a couple of hours, finding good deals on clothes I like or just random home goods or crafting supplies. Sometimes I'll take pictures of things that inspire me to repurpose stuff that I have at home.

Finding this Surf Style jacket was a good day--so nostalgic!

What is the strangest coincidence that ever happened to you?

This one still blows my mind when I think about it. In 2014, I ran a Ragnar Relay with 11 people that I'd met through my blog (not to be confused with the Ragnar that was in the From Fat to Finish Line documentary). They were from all over the country and we met at John's house in San Diego to run the coast. We all became very close friends and several of us would make trips to visit each other after the race.

Anyway, I was visiting one of my teammates, Thomas, in Portland (Oregon) and one evening we were just browsing YouTube on the TV. You know that rabbit hole, where you search one thing and then two hours later you don't even remember what you were looking for?

We ended up finding a video of things to do in Portland and started watching that. There is an ice cream place called Salt & Straw and it's very popular. The person recording the video was walking along the line of people (which was out the door and down the sidewalk) and interviewing them about where they were from, what ice cream they were going to try, etc.

All of a sudden, as we're watching this random video, Thomas said, "That's Paige!" And sure enough, our teammate Paige was standing in line on this video taken years prior. Paige lives in Idaho! And she happened to be visiting Portland at the time, waiting to try Salt & Straw, and wound up on this video... which we completely coincidentally came across on YouTube. It was unbelievable.

This was Jerry's and my first time trying it. I used to LOVE ice cream (vegan ice cream is my favorite treat).

How do you waste time most often?

My favorite way to waste time is to play games on my phone while watching a show. There is truly nothing productive about it, but it's my "down time" when I need to relax and I actually don't feel guilty doing it. My favorite games are Best Fiends--it's a mindless game that takes my mind off of things, especially when I have anxiety. I also do the Wordle every day. And I do a Peak "workout"--some brain games. I especially like the logic puzzles. I'm absolutely terrible at the memory ones, though!

Jerry knows how much I like Best Fiends and I had no idea he did this, but he tried to order a mug for me from their Instagram site and it wasn't working. He contacted them to ask how he could order one and they ended up sending him ALL OF THIS STUFF for free! He was super excited to give it to me. Those socks are still my favorite and I use the mugs almost daily. I liked the shirts, too, but when I lost weight (again) they became too big. I still think it was so cool of them to send all of that!

Well, after what feels like the most exhausting day ever, I'm going to go waste some time watching Ozark with Jerry. I've already seen the series, but he had only watched two seasons, so I'm watching it again with him. I made some good progress on the cat shelves today, and I hope to get them finished tomorrow!

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Friday Night Photos #110 on Saturday Morning

I have a pretty hectic weekend and wasn't able to do my Friday Night Photos last night, so here are some Saturday Morning Photos (and one short video) instead...

I already shared a lot of photos from the past week on this post: Dog-Sitting in Illinois, so I won't be redundant and post all of those again. But I do want to again mention the Pig Minds Brewing Co., a vegan brewery that Jerry and I went to for dinner one of the nights, because it was amazing.

The entire menu (of food and drinks) is vegan and the atmosphere was exactly what I'd hoped--casual, relaxed, not too loud, and friendly. (I don't know if this is a "thing", but in my limited experience at vegan restaurants, the employees are SO FRIENDLY and super patient. Jerry and I sat at the bar top and the bartender was awesome.)

I ordered something that sounded delicious but on the healthy side (I didn't want to get out of control with my eating). My meal (Spicy Korean Tofu Bowl) was unbelievably good--I very rarely eat at restaurants because I just don't think it tastes as good as home-cooked food, but this was definitely something I would order again.

Jerry, on the other hand, went for the full bar-experience with a flight of beers and a patty melt with tater tots. I ate a few bites of his patty melt and was blown away at how good it was. I would bet my life that an omnivore wouldn't know it was vegan.

If you are ever in the vicinity of Rockford, Illinois, I highly recommend this place--whether you're vegan or omni!

I love this picture of Jerry with Jeanie's new elderly special needs basset. (I keep saying "new" but she's had him for a while now.) His name is Walter and he is the sweetest dog ever.

I didn't see this until I was going through my pictures yesterday, but apparently Jerry took a picture of me while I was removing and re-caulking Jeanie's kitchen counters. (Why, yes, that is my ice machine, if you're wondering--hahaha! I couldn't NOT have it for a week.)

I was texting and calling Noah and Eli probably way more than necessary, but I was worried about leaving them alone for a week. And my cats! (Joey was with Jerry and me.) Before I left, I made a checklist of things I wanted to make sure the boys got done.

I kept stressing how important it is to keep Duck occupied; he's like a dog in the sense that he needs lots of physical exercise and mental stimulation. (The other cats prefer to sleep most of the day.) Anyway, when I asked Eli on Saturday how it was going, he just responded by texting me a picture of the list I'd made, haha. They were doing great! And when we got home, I was stunned to find that the house was just as clean as we'd left it.

Speaking of squirrels, I haven't posted anything about them lately. Yesterday morning, it looked warmer than it was outside, so I figured I'd go sit outside and feed them their "special" nuts (walnuts and hazelnuts in the shell). Here is a video of one of my favorite squirrels taking a walnut from me. It warms my heart that she trusts me enough to sit there on the post while she eats and then keep coming back for more.

I'm hoping that this summer, the "babies" (who were born last spring) will be a little less shy. They watch the other squirrels take nuts from us, but they still like to keep their distance. I'd like to make it a habit to sit out on the deck with my tea every morning and feed the squirrels--it was a nice start to the day.

This is a project I made for the cats. We are in the process of making what was originally a "cat wall" (and has become all four walls in our bedroom as well as the top of the closet in our bathroom!) and this was part of it. I painted the board/shelf black (I'll show "after" pictures once we have everything done) and I made a side for the shelf by cutting a piece of PVC pipe (I'd asked on our neighborhood social app if anyone had leftover bits of PVC they didn't want, and I actually got a few!). I wrapped thick twine around it, gluing it with a glue gun. You can see the progress in the second picture. I really love how it turned out, and the cats are obsessed! (The twine in the picture was what was leftover from a previous project--I had to use a new roll for the PVC because that obviously wasn't enough.)

I know I write about how Duck is super needy, but Jerry happened to be taking my picture while I was writing a blog post with Duck on my lap. When I pay attention to my computer rather than him, he puts his paw on my face to remind me that he's there. It's endearing, but it drives me crazy at the same time. Whenever I sit down to write is when he suddenly wants all my attention. Trying to type and see my screen with him there is a challenge.

I like to share my DIY projects because sometimes I even impress *myself* with the things I'm able to do. Well, this is to show that some of my DIY's fail--and this is probably the worst. I broke the window pane on Noah's window! Thankfully, it was just the outside pane, but we obviously need to get the glass replaced. (I had been trying to remove those thin white strips around the outside--which should be rather easy--in order to reseal the window in place. The stripping is old and should be replaced, but I'm not sure I'll attempt this again, haha.)

I got a new screen protector for my phone and don't you just love the "easy open" packaging on products? ;)

I never give my cats baths (I've only attempted it once, with Chandler, and wound up with his canine tooth buried up to his gums in the "meat" of my palm--then had to get a tetanus shot at urgent care). Well, Chick smelled really bad and I figured out the source--a few mats of hair under his butt encrusted with dried diarrhea (TMI, sorry). I did my best bathing him, but most cats hate baths--as evidenced by my glove that was intact before I started. After his bath, I trimmed all of the hair on his backside so it was less likely to happen again. (I'm not sure of the source of his diarrhea--maybe separation anxiety while Jerry and I were gone?--but he's back to normal now)

I thought he would never go near me again after the "torture" he'd endured during his bath, but not even an hour later, he sat on my lap and purred. He was probably just happy that he didn't smell bad anymore!

This was literally 30 seconds after I opened an Amazon box...

You know what this means! The start of baseball season in Michigan. This was at Eli's games a couple of days ago and I can't even describe how cold it was, despite being in the 50's. I don't think anyone there was prepared for the cold. I should have brought my winter coat, but it seemed excessive when I left the house. I was so glad to have a hat, two pairs of gloves, and my Buff in the car. I was also wearing heavy-duty long johns with jeans and a hoodie over them. I texted this picture to my friend who replied that I looked like I was going to rob a bank. 

There is pretty much nothing that is more comforting than Duck sleeping against my ear and purring. His warm belly and the purring make me so happy.

I was getting tired of going back and forth to the garage to get different sizes of screws and hand tools, so yesterday morning I decided to organize as much of it as I could. This was the mess I started with. I wish I had an "after" picture, but it was taking much longer than I thought, and I didn't make much progress. Once Jerry got up, we started working on the cat shelves in our room, so I had to set all of this aside for later.

Hopefully I'll have an "after" photo of this next week!

Okay, I'm off to Eli's double header (wearing my warmest winter coat today). Then Jerry and I are supposed to work on some projects around the house--we've got a lot of "maintenance" stuff to do this weekend!

Have a great weekend :)  xo

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Change of Race Plans

Jerry and I have been working on our "cat room" (a.k.a. our bedroom that we have basically turned over to the cats, haha) all day long and when I started looking through pictures just now for Friday Night Photos, I realized it was going to take a very long time to put the post together. Jerry made beans and greens for dinner yesterday (my comfort food--he felt bad that I've been having a rough week) so I'm going to eat some leftovers and then we're going to relax after a tiring afternoon.

Anyway, I'm going to do my "Friday" night photos tomorrow. Sometime between Eli's double header baseball game and getting together with Nathan. (Yes, our race is tomorrow--and we've decided not to do it. I was willing to go and do my best, but Nathan said he's been working a ton lately--he's a lineman for an electric company, working crazy hours--and hasn't run much either; we decided to meet up for coffee or Eli's games or something like that instead.) The next time I say I'm going to do a race, please stop me--that's probably three races I've signed up for and not done!

Today is actually Nathan's birthday (and Becky's!) so I'll just post a couple of pics with them...

Becky, Nathan, and me in Portland (I think 2015?)

And just for fun, here is an old picture of Nathan and me:

This was probably 1985 or 1986

Okay, tomorrow I'll do my Friday Night Photos--have a great weekend!

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Three Things Thursday: Seeking Discomfort

Wow. The comments on my post yesterday brought me to tears more times than I can even count. I'm going to try to reply to them this weekend. (I know I'm terrible about replying to comments, and I feel horrible about that!)  Thank you so much for the kind words.

Today's post was actually inspired by my psychiatrist. At my last appointment, we talked a lot about my anxiety. He told me about a book he wanted me to read called 'When Panic Attacks' by Dr. David Burns, and it gave me a lot of hope that I can heal the anxiety I feel all the time.

Coincidentally, later that night I randomly picked a show to watch on Hulu about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I learned quite a bit about it and I hadn't realized that it was a form of anxiety disorder. On the show, people living with severe OCD receive the help from a therapist who specializes in it, and I was absolutely shocked at the difference in their OCD symptoms in just 12 weeks. (I highly recommend the show--it's called 'Obsessed')

The main approach, along with cognitive behavioral therapy, was exposure therapy--exposing them to the things that they fear or that gives them the most anxiety. Instead of coping mechanisms, they basically sit with the anxiety (in the situation) until it recedes. To me, it sounds terrifying to even think about!

I don't have OCD, but I do have generalized anxiety disorder (diagnosed by my psychiatrist years ago). There are some anxieties that are very common and relatable (which are probably the ones I'll list here) and also some that I don't even talk about because just the thought of talking about them gives me anxiety, hahaha.

Okay, so here are three things that cause me anxiety--and how I plan to expose myself to them in the hope that the anxiety will fade over time...

1. Make phone calls.

I don't know exactly when I started avoiding talking on the phone, but I can remember having anxiety about it as far back as my mid-20's. I don't think anything triggered it; I just found myself avoiding making phone calls whenever possible. (Actually, now that I write this, I think it was around the time that texting became mainstream.) It's interesting because I used to talk on the phone non-stop when I was in my early teens--literally HOURS a day!

I don't want to set goals for this or anything finite. I just want to face it head-on as much as possible--rather than typing out long-ish texts, I'll try calling first. If they don't answer, then I can just leave a message. The hardest part for me is actually just getting up the nerve and dialing the number. The conversation isn't what produces the most anxiety.

While I'm not going to set "goals" for this or anything, I do want to keep track in my journal about my anxiety levels. I can write what the level was before making the call and after making the call. And then over time, hopefully it will get easier and my anxiety levels will drop.

2. Meet new people.

I'm so bad at this. I feel extremely nervous when meeting people because (I think) I come across as very awkward. I'm not witty or quick to think of things to talk about. Jerry says I don't come across this way at all, but maybe it's just the awkward way I feel about myself when meeting someone.

You're only given one chance at a first impression, and I always worry that mine will be awkward for the person I'm meeting. I want them to feel comfortable!

This is something I've actually been working on for a while. I make it a point to make small talk with strangers when given the opportunity. For example, today I went to Lowe's as I saw a man trying to lift a piece of plywood onto a cart (which I know from experience is NOT easy) so even though I felt anxious about it, I stopped and asked if he wanted some help because it's much easier with two people. And thankfully, he wasn't too proud to accept help from a middle-aged woman ;)  I also chatted a bit with the cashier, who was extremely friendly, and I left the store with a smile on my face.

So, while this isn't something totally new to me, it's something I still have anxiety about (although it's getting less extreme). Now, I want to dive right in to seeking out opportunities to meet people. Talking with strangers, even just a short interaction, may help me become more comfortable when meeting new acquaintances.

3. Going places.

I don't mean running errands or anything like that. I mean doing social things or things that are just for fun. The pandemic played a big role in making me even more of a homebody than I already was, but for my entire life, I have always felt most comfortable at home.

I think this may have something to do with bipolar disorder (for me, anyway). I thrive on routine--doing the same things day after day--and as boring as that may sound to some people, it's how I feel comfortable. No surprises. Even having an upcoming appointment gives me anxiety because it throws my day out of routine. (I wish this wasn't the case! I'd love to be spontaneous or even just able to adapt easily to what's going on.)

When I am invited to go out or get together with friends, I feel extremely anxious about it (I honestly have no idea why--I love my friends!). When it comes time for me to go, I feel a sense of dread--which sounds horrible, I know--but almost always, once I am there, I enjoy myself and I'm glad I went.

To seek discomfort here, I'm going to make a list of people I haven't seen in a while, as well as people that I exchange pleasantries with--you know, the "Hey, we should get together soon and catch up!"--and then I will *actually* attempt to make plans. When I say that we should get together soon, I actually do mean it; it just doesn't ever happen. So, I'm going to try my best to make it happen--hopefully with a phone call rather than a text!

And even if I'm not meeting up with friends, I'd like to make it a point to go places "just because"--like go to the library to write my blog posts, or take Joey to a dog park instead of walking around the neighborhood. I'm more comfortable with the familiar--being at home--so I want to make it a point to go to a variety of places for a variety of reasons. Hopefully, I'll get more and more comfortable when stepping outside of my comfort zone!

---

I've been reading the book my psychiatrist suggested and I really think I will find it useful in helping me work on these three things. Then I'll talk to him about it at my next appointment. And maybe--just maybe--I'll be a less anxious me soon! :)

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The Most Vulnerable Parts of Me

This picture is old (2020?) but I don't have that shirt anymore

Like I said yesterday, I'm not going to weigh in today. After being gone for a week and totally out of my comfort zone, it wouldn't even be a fair representation of my weight. I'll continue my Wednesday Weigh-Ins next week.

I want to write about something that I always assumed was pretty obvious, but perhaps it's not to some people: I don't write *everything* about me or my life on my blog. There are a LOT of personal things that I just choose not to write about for whatever reason. I do share quite a bit (probably too much) here, which is why I'm sure some people feel like they know me (and I love that! I feel like I know a lot of you, too.)

However, when I'm going through a tough time, sometimes I don't want to write about it (or it's not my story to tell). And I don't feel like I owe an explanation to anyone (even if I want to "defend" myself from the criticism). I've been going through a very rough patch over the last year or so and some things I choose to share, while others I choose not to. I experienced something rather traumatic last year and it's not something I feel comfortable opening up about. I am still working on getting past it, but that is one reason I have been feeling so emotional.

When people don't have the full picture, it's hurtful when I am judged for simply what I choose to write about. I write about all sorts of things--good and bad--so it's not like I'm cherry-picking only the best parts of my life to share. (That's for people to do on Facebook, hahaha)

This is a personal blog, and I'm aware that I open myself up to criticism for posting it publicly (and constructive criticism is fine!) but I also ask that the rude judgment be reserved for the whole picture and not just snippets of my life. I do downplay a lot of my emotions here because I try to "stay positive!" and "look at the bright side!". However, when I do write vulnerable posts such as this, I am always honest in what I choose to share. 

My blog has changed so much, especially over the last eight years or so. I used to be very candid and I wrote lots of personal things; but over time, my writing has become more and more vanilla. I try to avoid certain topics that I know people will read too deeply into; I don't write much about mental health anymore, even though it's a huge part of my life; I quit writing about budgeting, because people don't know our whole financial picture. I could write a whole post about why I don't share food logs anymore! And parenting? That's just opening a huge can of worms.

I don't have thick skin--I never have--and perhaps blogging was the wrong choice for me. I never thought my blog would gain so many readers; when I started writing, there were a handful of people who had been reading my "online journal" for a decade. (I started blogging in 2000, only it was on a different platform; I switched to Blogger simply because it was easier to share pictures in posts! I didn't realize how much more exposed it would be.)

When people are mean to me, it hurts! Even when they are complete strangers. I wish I could "brush it off" like all of my friends and family tell me to do, but it's not that simple for someone like me. I take everything to heart; when I do my best to be kind and it's received poorly, I feel like there is something wrong with me. Then I overthink it to death.

Over the last several years, people (not necessarily my blog readers, but just people in general) have gotten so sensitive to everything--I constantly wonder if I'm saying something that might offend people. Or using a word that is no longer politically correct. Or making a joke that people may not realize is a joke. I always have good intentions when I write and I never mean to offend people. Most of the time, it's easier to avoid certain topics altogether.

People that know me in real life know that I'm a genuinely NICE person. I'm shy, but I'm always polite and I do my best to make people feel comfortable. I try to see the best in people, even the ones who don't like me. I'm generous--with friends, family, and strangers--and I don't post about those things because I don't do them for recognition. I just like to make people happy!

Not everybody is going to like me, just like I'm not going to like everybody I meet. However, I do my best not to judge people (and if I do, I usually catch myself quickly and change that thinking). I'm extremely empathic (to a fault, for sure) and I always try to put myself in someone else's shoes before judging.

I recognize that everybody is different and I respect others' opinions (even though I don't always agree). I don't think there is a "one size fits all" for a multitude of topics--diet, exercise, parenting, financial decisions, etc.--and I make sure to keep that in mind when chatting with others.

So, when I say that I feel overwhelmed (and have felt this way for going on a year now), I'm keeping quite a bit of it to myself. Sometimes I don't want to open myself up to criticism about certain topics and sometimes there are some things that I'd just like to keep personal.

Because of my hyper-empathy and that I always want to make sure people are happy, I put a LOT of pressure on myself. And when people aren't happy for some reason, even if it's something that has nothing to do with me, I blame myself for it. (I know this isn't logical, and it's something I've discussed multiple times in therapy, but I think it's just a part of who I am.)

I want to do what I can to "fix" it and make everything all better so that people are happy again. Since I don't actually have the power to do that, I feel like I've failed--as a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an aunt, a niece, an in-law, a blogger, a pet-mom, a neighbor, and probably other hats I fill.

It really saddens me when I see some of the comments that people leave for each other on social media. I no longer use Facebook (well, maybe I'll look through the feed about every 2-3 weeks); I rarely use Instagram, although I do find it to be more positive than Facebook; and I don't use Twitter, Snapchat, TikTok, or any of the other platforms that people use to say mean things. I know of at least two teens (through my kids) that recently took their own lives, and the comments they received on social media played a huge role in their suicides.

Wow--I didn't intend to make myself quite so vulnerable in this post, or make it this somber. The short version is that none of us knows the whole story of what other people are going through. Judging someone based on a short snippet of their life isn't fair to them. In a perfect world, we would all be kind to each other and if we didn't have something nice to say, we wouldn't say anything at all.

It's obviously not a perfect world, but it doesn't hurt to do what we have the power to do. We have the choice to decide how to treat others and I think the way we choose to do that speaks volumes of ourselves. As much as I want to rant about a comment I may get on occasion, I choose not to engage in that sort of behavior. To be a genuinely kind person, I have to act like one--and if more people did that, maybe we'd be on our way to a perfect world. Hey, I can dream ;)

Note: I want to make sure that those of you who have been kind to me in some way--whether through comments, cards, gifts, emails, phone calls, texts, donations, well-wishes, or in-persons--I appreciate every last one of you. I would have quit blogging eight years ago if I didn't fall in love with so many nice people! I want you to feel this very heartfelt thank you <3 

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Dog-Sitting in Illinois

Jerry and I are finally home after a week at my sister's house to take care of her dogs. She and Shawn actually went to California to Shawn's treatment center for his one-year sobriety anniversary! He's been doing so great--he's had a lot of big changes recently and he's managed to get through all of it without drinking, and I'm super proud of him.

One big change is that Jeanie and Shawn are moving permanently up north to their cabin. Shawn was able to retire and they are excited to be able to be up north full-time. It sucks for us, because they'll now be ten hours away instead of six, but I'm happy for them.

Our week was long and uneventful, so unfortunately I don't have much to write about it! Jerry and I weren't sure until the last minute whether he was going to come with me and in the end, it worked out that he could. I was glad--I think it would be nice to have a few days completely by myself, but I would probably get lonely pretty quickly, especially since it was someone else's house and none of my usual stuff was there.

Joey did so good in the back of the car--I completely forgot he was there most of the time!

When we got there, the dogs naturally had to do the three way butt-sniffing greeting...

The weather was pretty bad the whole time we were there. There was actually a tornado warning at some point and we could hear the warning sirens. We were alerted to seek shelter, so we took the dogs in the basement. Joey and Bentley, who had been quiet and lazy all day, suddenly came to life in the basement and started chasing each other. (Not the best place to get wild.)

The first evening, we went grocery shopping (eating out is way too expensive, so we decided to eat out just one time--at a vegan brewery!). The grocery store was enormous and I'd never been to it before; it was fun to look around and see all of the things we don't have at home. We bought some healthy stuff--no junk at all, really--which was totally unlike any trip we've taken before, haha.

LOOK WHAT THEY HAD:

Asian pears, and they were beautiful-looking Asian pears! I was SO happy.

I knew I was eating way too much, however, and I was sure my weight was going up. We still decided to go out to dinner anyway. The brewery is called Pig Minds Brewing and it is 100% vegan (food and drinks). I ordered something that sounded delicious AND healthy--a Spicy Korean Tofu Bowl.  Jerry ordered a patty melt, which definitely wasn't healthy, but it was MIND-BLOWING delicious!

Patty melt with tots

He also ordered a flight of their on-tap beers. He was thrilled, to say the least.

I took a couple of bites of his patty melt and we both agreed it was the best burger we'd ever had, vegan or not. Jerry went as far as to say it was the best bar food he's ever had! The picture doesn't do it justice.

My meal was amazing, too--cauliflower "rice" (I know it's a fad thing, but I'd never tried it, so I figured it would be fun to try something different), with crispy tofu, sautéed Brussels sprouts, carrots, a mildly spicy Korean sauce topped with green onions and sesame seeds. I couldn't stop exclaiming how good it was!

Other than the grocery store and Pig Minds Brewing, we actually didn't go anywhere. We had several movie/TV marathons. And since Jeanie and Shawn are going to be selling their house, Jeanie asked if I would be interested in caulking. Haha! Only I would find that to be a fun project to work on while on a trip. I stripped the old caulk from the kitchen counters, the sink, the bathroom vanities, and the bathtub--then I applied new caulk to all of it. It was happy with how it turned out! Hopefully Jeanie and Shawn thought so, too.

We didn't get to see them because they left Wednesday morning (we didn't get there until around 1:00) and then we had to leave super early yesterday morning because Eli had his first baseball game (which ended up getting canceled due to lightening halfway through Eli's at-bat!). I was hoping to get to see Jeanie and Shawn, but I'm sure we'll go up north this summer sometime.

I've been ridiculously overwhelmed and stressed out since we got home--I didn't reply to texts, phone calls, emails, NOTHING for a week and now I don't even know where to start. I'm actually behind on all of those things anyways, but now it's just been a week with zero progress. I'm actually sitting in the bathtub while I write this--the tub is empty, because I don't like baths, but when I need quiet/alone time this is where I like to go. So weird, right?!

Anyway, the dogs got along great (we brought Joey with us). Joey and Bentley (one of Jeanie's bassets) are apparently getting old because they didn't play nearly as much as they used to. Jeanie recently adopted a senior/special needs basset named Walter and HE IS THE SWEETEST DOG EVER. I offered to trade Joey for him (kidding). He was so chill and followed me around and just wanted to snuggle all the time. When I was sitting down, he would bury his face as deep as he could into the crook of my elbow or knee.

When one dog got attention, the other two wanted attention, too, so this ended up happening a lot:

I don't have many pictures of the dogs because it was impossible to get them! Every time I would grab my phone for a picture, they followed me. When they started to play, the pictures turned out super blurry. So I didn't get many.

Sweet, cuddly Walter

Overall, I'm glad to be home (I can't even DESCRIBE how much I missed Duck!) but being home also means that all of my responsibilities are just waiting for me. On top of all of the stuff I have going on (causing me to be overwhelmed), Eli's baseball season started and he has about 40 games, many double-headers, this season (which is only two months long). I like to go to his games (he's excited to be starting catcher on varsity this year) but good grief--I don't know how I'm going to get anything else done! The timing is rough.

Well, it's back to the grind now and my posts will go back to normal. I'm probably not going to post a weigh-in tomorrow because I can *feel* the weight I gained while I was gone. Next week, I'll share what the number on the scale was this morning--it was scary! Haha.

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